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 Author Thread: Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
 FamiliarGuy545
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 585 (view)
 
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/29/2013 12:32:22 PM
Adding someone on FB or similar is a two-way street, you are opening yourself up, just as they are.....
Using paid services et al isn't the same thing at all. We are all aware that we leave an online footprint - that things we put into the WWW are there to stay...which some people later regret.
However, there is a world of difference between that and bank details; social security information etc.
There is also a world of difference between that and - whilst I know that they are public documents, part of the public record - searching court records.
Whilst I do have nothing to hide, there would still be the 'why did you feel the need' question.
Don't get me wrong, if someone said, upfront, that they had issues because of something in the past, I probably would say - check me out etc....but for someone to do it and not inform me would be, to me, an gross insult.
 FamiliarGuy545
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 581 (view)
 
Should performing a background check on a potential bf/gf be considered as a sign of insecurity?
Posted: 3/29/2013 12:25:10 AM
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/women/womens-politics/9625073/Clares-Law-Do-you-know-your-partners-past.html

Pilot in the UK.....
I am unsure how I would react if I found that someone had checked me out using it - my gut feeling would be that I was being judged as being an abuser under the 'guilty until proved innocent' rule. Part of me doesn't care because I know it would be clean...and part of me would be wounded at the lack of trust.
I quite often divulge information to potential dates so that can 'check my story' etc with google, fb etc. Yet I would feel betrayed, badly, knowing that this kind of check had been performed - to me it would be tantamount to 'you thought I was capable of That?'....
I would be feeling a mix of emotions....
 FamiliarGuy545
Joined: 2/11/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dating 101 needed. Anyone care to share.
Posted: 3/28/2013 10:04:23 PM
There is a lot of sense in what you are doing - public areas, own transport etc...
I would ask if you listen to your instincts at all - there are times when I have given out my phone number the same day as starting to email someone (has been done twice) - and there have been times when I haven't given out my number...my instinct told me not to...
You say that you are leery for meeting for the first time, that might be your instinct kicking in...it depends on how often you say yes though if it were to be an issue...
Only you really know how uncomfortable you would get with a certain individual, that would be the place I would start from - if they make you that uncomfortable, might be not such a great idea to carry on....or is it a general anxiety overall?
 
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