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 Author Thread: Living with parents... a turn off?
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Living with parents... a turn off?
Posted: 1/1/2019 12:23:39 PM
I don't do intimacy until i'm certain in a relationship. By that stage it's more of a "hey, lets go on a trip for the weekend" type of scenario.

It's more of a choice to be honest. Like i said, i've the money to move out no problem and have been highly considering it. On the other side of things though i'm able to take my hard earned cash and enjoy life a bit with trips away and even go as far as the occasional coffee out.

I did have my own place for years. Struggling to go for a lunch date with a friend as you are busy paying off a strangers mortgage was a killer for me. Not to mention returning to an empty house after work every night.

I've been weighing up the pros and cons lately of renting my own place, just wanted to know others views. Thanks for the comments, really appreciated.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Being a virgin
Posted: 12/30/2018 5:22:56 PM
I see that you now have a 4 month old baby. Was it worth it? :D
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Loose skin a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/30/2018 5:00:33 PM
For me personally, it's not.

You worked extremely hard for that loose skin, be proud of it ;)
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Living with parents... a turn off?
Posted: 12/30/2018 4:56:54 PM
I was just wondering on what peoples views are when they find out that a potential match lives with their parents? Is it an automatic turn off or would you look the other way?

The common misconception is that at 28 years old and still living with their parents, i must be broke, jobless, a loser etc. The truth is that i have a full time job and could afford to move out in the morning but i would rather help my parents out financially until i find miss right instead of using my wages to pay a landlords mortgage.

Because of my current housing situation, i am able to have a chunk of money in the bank, a bit in savings and can afford the luxuries in life as and when i please.

What are your thoughts on this specific situation while dating? In all honesty it's never been a problem but i'm weighing up the pros and cons at the moment to see if it would be worth getting my own place.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is this how men normally treat women?
Posted: 8/20/2017 11:48:55 AM
Had a look at your profile, starting to wish i didn't google image what a guiche piercing was hahaha.

He could be a terrible flirter or just an idiot. The easy solution would be to block and move on, another solution would be to tell him you aren't happy with messages like that and take it from there.

EDIT* Just realised i'm on the ask a girl section, thought it was ask a guy lol
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Stay at home mom
Posted: 8/20/2017 11:01:35 AM
Ask yourself this question. If you seen a guys profile that says he wants to be a stay at home dad, what would you think?

It wouldn't bother me personally, it might put others off though.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 67 (view)
 
No Romance/Sex in relationship for almost a year
Posted: 8/20/2017 10:57:26 AM
His last post was 5 years ago, wonder if she killed him.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Why does no one make an effort?
Posted: 8/13/2017 7:46:00 AM
Have i just had a streak of bad luck or is anyone else experiencing a severe lack of effort on this site? I get people messaging me and they don't leave too much information on their profile apart from simplistic subjects such as "i like tv" and when you try and have a conversation you only ever get 1 or 2 word answers which don't open up the conversation to go anywhere else. I always end up finishing the conversation and moving on as it's near impossible to keep it going.

Then you get the mutual meet me ones that don't even respond for your initial messages.

Sometimes i wonder if this is even worth the effort, seems like it would be much easier going to the pub and walking up to strangers lol.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Is meeting your buddy more important than meeting your girlfriend's parents?
Posted: 10/31/2016 2:09:09 PM
In my opinion you made 2 major Faux Pas.

1. You scheduled this meeting and set it in stone without even speaking to your partner about it.
2. You told your parent the REAL reason, this will cause permanent damage on the relationship between your parents and partner and he will be more reluctant than ever to meet them. Seriously bad move on your end.

I highly doubt he planned a star trek marathon 2 weeks in advance with his unemployed friend, sounds like it's an uncomfortable situation for him and he simply didn't want to do it. It's not easy for a lot of guys to first meet the potential future in-laws. For some of us it's as nerve-wrecking as a job interview.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Want to give me a 3 month trail
Posted: 10/31/2016 1:11:59 PM
How's that trial working out for you? lol
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Feedback Please!
Posted: 10/31/2016 12:40:17 PM
Well, i'm not going to agree with everyone. It sounds to me like you're a tad clingy and jealous of the fact he has female friends therefore he is not a match for you and you just need to move on.

You start the post by stating that you've actually creeped his facebook friends just weeks after meeting and counted the number of females on there. You seem to be jealous of the fact that he occasionally helps these people out, maybe he is just a friendly and helpful person? He shouldn't have to explain to you that he is just friends with these girls over and over, you clearly have trust issues and this is a major problem for you which suggests that you are in the wrong relationship. He's also probably fed up with you texting him every time he leaves the house.

He offered you to go to his reunion, you refused, then you are complaining that he had a good time, there is also nothing wrong with voicing your opinions on your beliefs, maybe it is a strong subject that he feels passionate about. The birthday shots sounds traditional for him and his friend, why should he stop it after all these years just because you have issues? Then we are back with the creeping of profiles, i'm guessing you are making a big deal out of everything and he is feeling insecure about the relationship and doesn't think it will last.

If there's no trust in a relationship then it will never last which is why you need to end it, this is not the guy for you. He could be lying and sleeping with all these women, i don't know, there's 2 sides to every story and i've just heard 1.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 28 (view)
 
am i doing the right thing?
Posted: 10/31/2016 12:10:50 PM
Are you doing the right think? well, lets see shall we.

You are planning to take your girl friend away for her birthday to offer her an ultimatum? WRONG! Huge mistake. It seems to me you've 2 choices.

1. You can feel take her away, try and rekindle your relationship, have a fantastic break away and see how it goes from there, maybe go on another date or 2, if it doesn't work out you can have a chat with her as adults, talk about it and leave as friends.

2. Have that chat now, before you leave.

Breakups can (and usually do) get bitter, you don't want to be known around the office as the guy who took his partner away for her birthday to dump her.

We aren't being told the full story, that's quite clear. It sounds to me like this girl has a lot going on and she's not sure about the relationship and that you're getting closer to the friend zone. Time to stop playing games and find out what's on her mind but DON'T do it during a night away. She's probably thinking that she's at that age where she wants to settle down, get married, have kids etc and probably doesn't think you want the same. A womans mind isn't as much a mystery as people think, you just have to communicate.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Should I follow through with this date?
Posted: 10/30/2016 7:38:38 PM
I think I laughed a little too hard at message #12 hahaha.

OP: I'm glad you didn't go through with it. Maybe his texts were bad as his grammar and written english wasn't above par, maybe he spoke very good english but something about the whole situation seems a tad off to me. I have a feeling that you just dodged a bullet, you win some and lose some.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 131 (view)
 
Is Self-Employment A Turn-off?
Posted: 10/30/2016 6:57:48 PM
The problem with stating that you are self-employed with no explanation is that it could literally mean anything. The first thing that will generally come to peoples minds is that you are a leaflet distributor or sit around the house all day doing odd jobs for people.

The problem with explaining that you sell on ebay is that there are millions of people on ebay who sell a few DVDs and consider themselves entrepreneurs.

I would just say that you are a business owner or work in e-commerce and leave it at that, if they ask about it then tell them. Being self employed is DEFINITELY not a turn off, stating it on a dating profile might be though, leave some mystery about yourself and use it as conversation for the first date.

Also, the dating scene is dominated by women, they have the ability to pick and choose so don't take it personally. The joys of being a male on a dating site.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Dating a single dad with a Downs Syndrome adult child.
Posted: 7/9/2015 5:34:10 PM
I had concerns when I first started dating my partner as she had a child with downs syndrome (although she was only 1). I have no idea what i was worried about as i absolutely fell in love with her from the moment i met her, such a cheerful and happy baby. 2 and a half now and still unable to walk and talk etc but she is coming on amazing and i'm glad i went for it!

Never under-estimate someone with downs syndrome, it's always a pleasure to be in their presence!
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Is there something wrong with me?
Posted: 2/17/2015 10:12:41 AM
There's nothing wrong with you bud, the problem is that men outweigh women on dating sites and the sad truth is that they can pick and choose who they want which leaves most guys without as much as a hello.

I've never had any luck on here, i ended up getting my own girlfriend out in the real world and only use this place for the forums, the truth is this place is a waste of time for most guys. Try going to a singles night or hit the pub, you'll have a much better chance face to face without all the judgmental folk judging your suit and pic.

Your little girl is cute but personally i wouldn't feel safe having a picture like that on my profile, your pic and choice though. Saying you have a child would be enough. Still play runescape? :D
 drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why won't he meet me?
Posted: 1/30/2015 9:12:55 AM
You might be right about the whole self conscience thing. I was the same with my GF, i avoided the meet in case it never worked out and she had different thoughts on me after meeting in person. I had no idea what she found interesting about me but she finally got me to meet up and we've been inseparable ever since.

Lucky for me she never gave up :)
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Bad kissing skills
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:20:40 PM
I would go with number 1.

This is from personal experience, first kiss is always extremely awkward for me and gets better the more comfortable I am with a person. If it relied on a first kiss with me i'd never get a second date haha.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Would you date a woman with a special needs child?
Posted: 1/29/2015 7:15:02 PM
Yes I would and I already do.

My gf has a baby with DS and she is the most loving and gentle wee thing you will ever meet. I feel privileged just to be part of her life and recommend that you don't limit your options. It's not as scary as you might think ;)
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Advice on kids
Posted: 1/29/2015 6:50:04 PM
Well... I suppose you could technically say that i started the thread a year ago since it was at the end of december 2014 and i replied back on January 2015. In reality it was only a few weeks so i don't see what your problem is?

Thanks for the reply i guess :\
 drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 26 (view)
 
what is a good first meet ? things to do
Posted: 1/15/2015 6:19:09 PM
In my opinion bowling is the ultimate first date! A girl would like a bit of fun on a date, not everyone enjoys the 'formal' meet and great. With bowling you get to see each others fun, competitive and goofy sides while getting good to know each other a little better. If it doesn't work out, you've both had a bit of fun and can part ways. If it does work out, you can grab a bite to eat and a drink in the alley and there are usually arcades around bowling alley to have a bit of fun with.

As a shy person I hate the formal meets in a coffee shop. I find them really awkward and uncomfortable, I'd rather have a fun distraction to break the silences ;)
 drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Advice on kids
Posted: 1/15/2015 5:57:04 PM
Just thought I'd pop by with a little update.

Some great advice given. We have been out on a few dates and she said she didn't want me to meet the kids just yet as it was too soon. I was round in her house to watch a movie after the kids went to sleep but one of them ended up waking up in the middle of the night. She took a major shine to me and I to her. Since then we've seen each other a few more times and I got Introduced to the other child, no idea what I was so worried about!

As for the comments on meeting the kids months later, based on personal experience I would disagree. I loved seeing how loving and caring she was with the kids and I think the fact that her kids connected with me brought us even closer together and I look forward to many more good dates :)
 drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Advice on kids
Posted: 12/18/2014 1:23:58 AM
I've started chatting to a girl who i am interested in. Not just a random one, our familys are lifelong friends but we've just never crossed paths personally. She has 2 young kids, which is no problem to me but I've never really been around kids before and the thought of it freaks me out a bit. Sooner or later i'll be introduced to them and i've honestly no idea what to do, due to inexperience i'm scared that if she sees that i am not bonding with them that she will go off me.

I'm probably jumping too far ahead as we haven't even gone out yet and wont be until after xmas is over but i would still like a bit of advice from people who have had the same problems.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 18 (view)
 
need some advice
Posted: 1/31/2014 4:06:04 PM
I understand why a movie wouldn't be the best but what about something along the lines of a comedy show, bowling or the theatre? When i get nervous my mind goes blank and i run out of things to say so i think it would be beneficial to have an activity to distract us between the little pauses in talking.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 15 (view)
 
need some advice
Posted: 1/31/2014 2:17:39 PM
Im starting to see that meeting sooner is the best option haha. I was planning a movie followed by something fun like bowling or something as we are both movie fanatics but now I don't know what to do. We aren't big on alcohol.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 12 (view)
 
need some advice
Posted: 1/31/2014 12:40:43 PM
Well you do make sense, I'm just a nervous wreck about meeting her and scared she won't like me in person. The problem is I think she feels the same way about meeting me, I guess it's best just to bite the bullet.

Im guessing a movie wouldn't be a good first meeting?
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 7 (view)
 
need some advice
Posted: 1/31/2014 11:54:13 AM
Lol motown, I'm not looking for a script. I just want to make sure that I don't mess this up as I like her.

I can carry a conversation no problem but there seems to be certain rules involved such as talking too much makes you look like a creepy stalker and not enough makes you look uninterested. We seem to have all the same interests but it still makes me nervous. We will meet up, we just want to leave it short while to get to know each other a bit more to make the first meeting as less awkward as possible lol.

I appreciate all the advice thanks :)
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 1 (view)
 
need some advice
Posted: 1/31/2014 9:54:34 AM
I tried pof a while back with no luck and just naturally assumed that I was destined to be alone.

I received a message on facebook out of the blue the other day from a girl saying that she has liked me for a while. I was completely oblivious to this and was shocked so we got talking. We have known each other's family all our lives but we never managed to cross paths. She has two young kids and we both want to take it slow, we are still at the point where we are too nervous to meet up just yet.

I need some advice in keeping the conversation going and to make sure she doesn't get bored. Any advice is greatly appreciated as this is all new to me. Im scared of talking too much or not enough and I also don't find myself to be particularly interesting as I've just spent the last few years going with the flow.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 4 (view)
 
portobello night out 16th feb
Posted: 3/4/2013 4:43:22 PM
http://i884.photobucket.com/albums/ac46/Anazoth/portobello_zps824b687d.png
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Do some phones Automatically log into POF? Guy with hidden profile
Posted: 2/22/2013 10:58:18 AM
Maybe he's on to see if your online too? :D

Ask him, not us?
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 29 (view)
 
My kids a biter!
Posted: 2/22/2013 10:40:42 AM
Who the hell would bite a kid? That's sick and if I ever seen someone do that in public i'm afraid i'd hurt them badly.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
portobello night out 16th feb
Posted: 2/19/2013 2:49:18 PM
Isn't that in Edinburgh? This is the Ireland section :)
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Photography Singles Holidays in Scotland?
Posted: 2/17/2013 8:16:24 PM
I was actually interested in this myself while reading your post until i clicked the link.

from £895+

This seems a bit steep for a weeks bed and breakfast. Also, it states that they always try to get another single so that you aren't alone. So it could be you, some girl you have nothing in common with and a bunch of couples.

Personally, i like the second posters idea better, take the car and tour scotland
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 34 (view)
 
3 big fat obesity myths
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:54:26 PM
Where did you get your statistics about 2/3 of americans being overweight? not that i don't believe you, just curious :)

Brisco, 2/3 = 66.66% lol
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 64 (view)
 
How did you learn to cook?
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:51:36 PM
TV...

I tend to watch tv shows like Come Dine With Me, Masterchef, Hells Kitchen, Saturday Kitchen etc (the list goes on, i love cooking shows) and when i see something that looks nice, I make it, simple as that haha. I watched saturday kitchen yesterday and one of the chefs made a triple chocolate cheesecake in 10 mins, i made it this morning, it was amazing! :D
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Advice
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:47:23 PM

don't trust a skinny cook


I second this...
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 38 (view)
 
what's your favorite kind of tea and why?
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:43:02 PM
I would also have to pick earl grey. I'm drinking apple and pear green tea at the moment :)
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Saying no thanks nicely
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:37:02 PM
Personally, i think it's ignorant to ignore the messages(unless they are 1 word of offensive of course) If you reply as a simple no and they reply a second time, then yes, that's ok to ignore. :)
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Facebook friending their kids?
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:24:54 PM
Speaking as someone who is in his early 20s. I don't see the big deal, I add people of all different ages and backgrounds on facebook including my brothers ex girlfriends, women 2 or 3 times my age and others. I don't think anything of it and barely even chat to some of them, they just send me requests and i click accept.

If someone is going to have a secret affair, they aren't going to do it over a social networking site in front of their friends and family, where's the logic in that?...
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Potential fun weekend West of Ireland?
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:20:52 PM
lmao.

Did this ever happen by the way? sounds fun :)
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 25 (view)
 
My kids a biter!
Posted: 2/17/2013 7:16:31 PM

. She needs direction in how to behave properly and dropping her off at daycare ain't cutting it, Just do it, whatever it takes to be there for your neglected child.

Go on welfare...... And people wonder why society is so fvcked up


Childcare has trained professionals who tend to the every day needs of the kids. One of your previous comments says that the carers can't keep an eye on the kids 24/7. Just to correct you on that, there is actually a law for an even ratio of kids to carers, this law is put into place so that the kids are being looked after properly and being given the attention they need.

Will her little girl be equally 'neglected' after she is 'abandoned' at school? Besides, I personally find it healthier for kids to be around each other at a young age instead of stuck in a house with adults all day.

As for the secont line of the quote, words can't even describe how idiotic you sound. You are telling this girl to quit her job and go on welfare and yet you wonder why society is messed up? Take a good hard look in the mirror.


When a relative of mine adopted a baby, his wife took off a whole 4 days from her "important" career to be with the baby. Then he got "dropped off" at daycare. He's "medicated" for emotional issues.


Your relative should be praised for helping a child in need instead of being demeaned over the internet as being a bad parent. Just imagine how worse off he would have been growing up in an orphanage.


If all else fails you can work nights somewhere and let daycare become night care when the kid is sleeping


and when exactly does she sleep? Sorry for the lengthy post but you are a horrible person for posting comments of this nature.
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
He Doesn't Text Much at All
Posted: 2/17/2013 6:58:40 PM
In my opinion, and don't take this the wrong way, I think you gave it up too early and too often. When he is horny, he will return...
 Drezzal
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Impotence in young men
Posted: 2/17/2013 6:53:33 PM
Are they taking any drugs? (steroids for example)

It's not a problem on your end, well, except for your luck haha.
 
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