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 Author Thread: do I cheat after almost 20 years?
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 130 (view)
 
do I cheat after almost 20 years?
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:58:11 AM
Quote: And more to the point, why would anyone date someone who displays such a crass attitude?


Thanks for this AceofSpace

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 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 128 (view)
 
do I cheat after almost 20 years?
Posted: 4/7/2008 11:54:26 AM


I disagree completely with all that you are saying Snickers...

but you, being someone who sees in black and white, and me being someone who sees in tints and subtle shades of colors..

How would we agree???

Develop a radar for true wisdom folks...

It often lives in the subtleties

javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 124 (view)
 
do I cheat after almost 20 years?
Posted: 4/7/2008 10:05:42 AM
Quote: I have never had another man but am close to it now. Help/ adviced/ suggestions needed and gratefully accepted


As a tantra teacher, I see this all of the time...People who were virgins when they married, but now are wondering...

...what is another person like sexually..?

...what might I learn about myself, about sex, about life from being intimate with another person....?

These are valid and honorable wonderings...

With due respect to those people who subscribe to the bible as their guide to what's what...I think one must realize that the bible was written by fallible human men, in a very different era, with very different needs and circumstances.

When I see people in my practice who were virgins when they married...and now 10, 20, 30 years later they have little or no sex life...I say...Hmmmmm...... (just like Dr. Phil) Is this workin' for you? And if not, we create a plan that is honoring to both people and their relationship to grow in a healthy relationship to this issue.

As I have said before, I do not think that 'cheating' is a healthy option...

It undermines love both personally and planetarily to the point where human beings no longer trust each other or trust love.

How sad is that?

But there are healthy options....You have to seek them out !!!

..............javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 120 (view)
 
do I cheat after almost 20 years?
Posted: 4/7/2008 7:54:17 AM
Another possibility to consider

Why not attempt to rekindle the spark between you.

As a tantra teacher I see couples all the time whose spark has been lost amidst raising kids, working jobs, doing life, etc. but the fact that you have a good friendship certainly points to the fact that you have cultivated a safe trusting love between you, and that is so wonderful and life sustaining. Something to treasure and not take lightly.

'Cheating' would undermine all that you have built and I would definitely NOT suggest it as an option...

But I know that awareness of TANTRA is growing all around the world so wherever you are I am certain you can find someone relatively close to you. If not feel free to contact me and I will help you locate someone, or work with you myself, whatever is your preference. Also many of us do long distance support so phone consultations can perform a miracle in your relationship, if you are open to that. Get javascript:smilie('')

But it sounds like you have struck a happy balance in some very important areas of life...do not jeopardize that because of a mid life crisis, or a need to explore your sexuality ( and I believe that that IS a legitimate need...)

So, why not have it all...?

Don't you deserve that?

Doesn't he?

Don't your kids deserve to be surrounded by two juicy, loving and happy parents?

I say YES to all of that

What do you say?
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 111 (view)
 
do I cheat after almost 20 years?
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:27:08 PM
Get honest with him...

If you are truly friends your relationship can morph into one that supports both of you better.

He may be yearning for some intimate female companionship too.

You may be able to liberate each other to have a new life...one of your own design and not of some moral code that is dying in the wake of people becoming more responsible to the truth, and not to dead ideas and outworn contracts.

No sex, no kissing, no cuddling...What kind of platonic love are you modeling for your kids?

Turn up the juice.... but do be honest about it..

Negotiate a plan that works for both of you

javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
i truly believe a mate for life does not exist
Posted: 4/6/2008 7:15:23 PM
Quote:
thats rubbish if a man is offered it elsewhere he will take it, does not matter if hes married or not .........


How incredibly sad, if that is the only kind of man you know.

I know otherwise

I know men who prefer the upliftment that being devoted gives them

but it is true, they are rare and special men
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:12:22 PM
Quote: I'm actually so bummed about all this that I wouldn't even want to date myself. It's an endless cycle. I'm bummed because I don't have a woman and I can't attract one because I'm bummed. How does it end? Fake it til ya make it? I'm just trying to prepare myself for living alone the rest of my days. There has to be a silver lining to that somewhere albeit a thin one. Life wasn't complicated before but since my dang divorce I don't understand a frickin' thing.

The mind is exactly like a closed circuit TV...you have to get outside the circuit


Look at a book called "Calling in the One"

It googles and it s all about healing exactly what you are describing
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
shut off...
Posted: 4/6/2008 3:00:02 PM
Quote:

Sometimes, I just love 'tough love'

javascript:smilie('')

It has it's place!!!
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
shut off...
Posted: 4/6/2008 2:58:48 PM

Get related to 'what is'


He loves you

You love him

You are not together

You know nothing about tomorrow ( not even 10 minutes from now)

Be happy

You're alive

and life is essentially good

javascript:smilie('')

IMHO
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Skin-to-skin contact and the benefit of human touch
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:01:23 PM
Quote: One said that she got an orgasm during a very long hug with me..

Orgasm is easy for some...for the ones who understand it....

It's just like a sneeze... you drive the nervous system energy up to point ant it spasms..poof...like clockwork.
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 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Skin-to-skin contact and the benefit of human touch
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:59:06 PM
Yes, totally... I touch freely and receive touch (more discriminately) every day...

It is so important to our well-being... and greatly underestimated in our culture... IMHO


www.TantricHealingTouch.com


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 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 4:53:47 PM
Quote: I met this guy and he told me that he was in love with me etc....We finally met and I caught him talking to another gal on the phone and come to find out he said he was in love with both of us! I just find that impossible! Y does people want to play others ?

OP:

Some things to think about


"In love"...something wonderful that happens between two people and is sustained and grows deeper over time

You "caught" him ....is he a fish?

"Talking to another gal"...Heavens forbid...Ohmygod...Off with his penis javascript:smilie('')

"in love with both of you"... maybe he is in love with the idea of being in love., maybe he does not know the difference between infatuation, stimulation, and love... Many don't. javascript:smilie('')

Good to begin to see what's what. A life lesson.

"Why does he want to play with others???" javascript:smilie('')

Because he is just playing...which is really okay if you do not expect otherwise...

Did he give you reason to? Saying you love someone is NOT a commitment to be exclusive..Do you know this?


I just wanted to tie up this thread and get back to you since it has taken us a long journey around the park...



You seem very sweet,.... and also very naive.... but this thread has been very generous and really spans the gamut

Thank you for sharing yourself
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 3:31:44 PM
Quote: who's truth?........ We all have our own truth.



On one level yes, and from a perpective of the greater field of life, there is the 'truth of what is actually happening'.

And then there is the truth of when and why someone gets triggered....

and that is always a fun one to unravel
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 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:46:03 PM
HELLO...Indeed

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 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 12:33:54 PM
Dear WG

It is not easy to figure out human relationships and how they will work best so that everyone gets enough love...but it seems a journey we are all on, and some of us want to broaden our perspectives to see what the truth is...and some people will go to their graves trying to fit a square peg into around hole. Bless 'em.

But for anyone who really wants answers, or at least possibilities, they ARE out there,.. all one need do is look.

I have offered many many references...

Another is "Loving More" by Deborah Anapol.
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:47:36 AM
PS.

If you care to broaden your education you may like to look into a man named Matthew Fox (a former priest)

He wrote: "The Coming of The Cosmic Christ" ( among other things).

He calls the bible's attitude towards sexuality the mortal sin of religion...

Something to think about???

Only for those who so choose...javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:44:00 AM
javascript:smilie('')

A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down, the medicine go down, the medicine go down...javascript:smilie('')

Sorry..I'm in such an impish mood today...

All the best to you Sweet Man

javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:31:46 AM
By the way, whats so bad about NJ? I am 30 min from a major city (Philadelphia) and 30 min from all of the beaches and atlantic city and I live in a rural quiet area. Peace.

N.J. can be a wonderful place...


it just could not be my home...but maybe you could be on he Chamber of Commerce...they need you!!!

Just teasing...my bad...it just leaks out from time to time...Damn
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 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 11:20:34 AM
Quote:

Havent you ever been in love? I mean real deep passionate love? The kind where you only think of THAT person. When you have no interest in another man. If you have felt it, than how would you feel if that man told you he loved you too but also loved someone else?

Yes, I have...totally and completely.

We lived together in a deep sexual union that was declared non-exclusive, but mostly was, for 6 years. I have been by his side while he made love to another, and was awed by the experience of my own ego dissolving to allow this gorgeous man to be totally who he was...not who I wanted him to be to satisfy my needs..This was not, by any means, easy. But I did it and I am richer for it.

I bit the bullet of possessiveness and jealousy, and the realization that to love is to offer freedom..

"Only think of that person???"Ha!!!...towards the last year of being together we had dinner with Kevin Costner...I did not know who he was at the time,,,he was filming Dances with Wolves... I was so totally 'with' my partner and still gobsmacked with him, and with our journey,,, that I did not care how big a movie star I was dining with....I couldn't wait to get back in the sack with my Beloved..And KC was a real cutie, at that time..although still married to his ex Cindy.

Every word of this is true, my friend,,,every single wordjavascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:51:02 AM
Yes, I HAVE been in Vineland, N.J.... And so I do speak from experience, as I do on all of my posts, as a matter of fact.

I personally think monogamy is a wonderful thing, and a very high spiritual sadhana, and this may come as a surprise to you, but it is my preferred way of relationship...

However, I have learned much about the other ways from people I love and respect, and I love and respect many points of view on this subject.

One of the sexiest men I have ever been in proximity to is a celibate Buddhist Monk named Za Choeje Rinpoche...

Oh my yummm.what a hunkarama..So, there is much to know about sexuality that does not readily meet the untrained eye.

But the real monogamy is also at the level of 'think out' as well as 'act out' and it has nothing to do with control or morality...it has to do with a deep congruence that knows that all is one, and that by loving one totally, one does indeed love the many, and the all...

I think we all wish for this kind of pure love, but most need education about what that is and how to set the stage for it.javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/4/2008 10:07:40 AM
Compersion...for those desiring another viewpoint

By Eric Francis


I have a word for you: "Compersion." It's probably not a word you've ever heard.

Compersion begins the first time we are turned on by someone else's pleasure, or the idea of someone else's love for anyone besides us. You may think this is totally out-to-lunch. But for some people it's totally natural. There are those who are not the "jealous type," and then there are those who just love love, no matter who's it is. We all know it's possible. We may have an idea of how good it would feel to dissolve into the safety, freedom and unconditional acceptance of our lovers and all that they are, including the other people that they may love, and how great it would feel to let them experience all that we are, including the other people we may love.

This way of being is called compersion.

We've all found ourselves in a corresponding reality at one time or another: trapped by love. Loving someone, feeling open and real with them and sensing it could last forever, and then, mysteriously, another soul enters the scene of our lives, conversations develop, minds meet, sexual interests may grow...we know that there's not really a conflict, or that there should not be one...but there is, or seems to be...and we are left with a huge question of what to do, because our present partner will probably just freak out if we tell them about our experience. And the contradiction is that the experience of this new person is so good. It is so real. And yet it threatens to destabilize what we call love.

When informed that love is growing with someone outside of a primary relationship, most people are, at first, unlikely to respond with compersion. They may not quite be washed over with joy and tell you that your love for this other person is thoroughly beautiful. Usually, at first, people respond with fear -- usually, the fear of loss of control. And it's that control that we are called upon to give up when we embrace compersion.

If what I hear is true, then a lot of people reading this are already getting nervous. The idea of allowing our partner to be free may seem like a wild concept, the last thing we would ever do. Visions of this person, our very lover, in another person's arms, can burn through us like hot coals. But more to the point, the whole idea of really feeling our feelings without denial or resistance is a daring thing in itself. For so much of what we call love is really about resistance, and hiding who we are, and possessing the other and hence ignoring their reality, and judging ourselves for being imperfect because we are so controlling. Hardly what you could call the divine light of freedom. But many people feel that freedom is dangerous.

Now, relationships are complicated enough without adding other people to the equation. Yet these other people seem to somehow add themselves. We notice them in this insanely isolated, fragmented world we live in, especially so because the way we create our relationships is extremely isolating, in a time in history in which we so desperately need community. So when people we really like show up in our jobs and in our email boxes and move into apartments next door, when we pick up on their scent and want to include them in our lives, it's not something we typically want to resist or hide from the world. It's something to celebrate.

Having noticed reality, we may feel a need to keep going, to keep exploring. We need to allow ourselves to be free. And this will take work. We need to teach people to love us for who we are. We need to learn compersion for others -- to feel and express the love that loves them for who they are. This is not as hard as it sounds. And taking the journey is all the more appealing if we realize that all the fear and insecurity that emerged when a second love interest entered the picture were already there all along, a kind of festering toxin we were living with in a secret shadow world that always seemed to haunt the relationship. When the light is brought in, and the toxins are purged, and we are seen for who we are, we can really begin living.

So one thing you can count on, if you are in a situation where you need to teach another person compersion, is that they may relate to the fact that it's better to be alive than dead. And the only way they can love you is when they are alive. That means really free. Really understanding and aware and loving you, not an image they have of you. And you need to learn to love them, not an image you have of them. It is tricky. It is challenging. But it is possible.



Compersion is an idea that emerged from something called the "polyamorous" culture, a segment of society in which people openly choose to have more than one committed lover. In such arrangements, it obviously becomes necessary to work through jealousy, but in the early days of the polyamorous movement, something else was discovered: once jealousy was understood and hearts opened, great feelings of warmth, pleasure and appreciation became available at the idea of peoples' partners loving others. In other words, the bliss of love and sexual ecstasy would expand in a wave-like ripple. When people drop their guard and just feel, so much pleasure is possible -- more than we ever imagined.

Sure, other stuff comes up, but it was already there, and it's as though love is washing it out of us so that we can really be free. And that other stuff -- resentment, anger, fear of abandonment, and the rest -- all needs to come up in order to give the relationship a chance to have life. Swept under the rug, these things are far more damaging.

Growing through them is a process. It's relatively easy go get turned on witnessing another human being's ecstasy or erotic joy. It's a lot more challenging to live with the implications this experience seems to have in our relationships, and is part of the delicate walk of negotiating our sense of security in the universe. We don't want to lose this other person who is so dear to us, whether we lose them to another person, or because they can't deal with their fear of losing us.

Love, as we often define it, is usually considered to be an exclusive rather than inclusive game. Someone loves you and therefore doesn't love anyone else. But when you add it up, this usually comes out to a loss, because in our short visits to the planet, in a healthy state of mind, we might want to love everyone who is righteous and true, and to return the love of everyone who touches our hearts, and call that safety and nothing else. For living in the constant fear of loss and betrayal is hardly safety; it is hardly the security we say we seek; it is a setup for total paranoia, but strangely, sadly, it's called love.

And as for sex -- it's no big secret that we're turned on by many people. But it's only been the "moral high ground" of certain, let's say, social movements, that has instigated the idea anything but strict heterosexual monogamy and sex for reproduction only is permissible. In this world, do we need to live by these ancient codes? Well, not if we are honest.

It is true that if one's lover has sex with another person, or even gets close to another person, they may choose to be with that person and not you. And this is a possibility we have to face no matter what. Living the way of compersion brings this to the surface where we can see it and work with it.

Yet remember that more often, jealousy has nothing to do with one's partner actually having sex or sharing love outside the relationship. It is about the imagined fear of loss. We can become jealous at the mere idea or suspicion of this, or at our partner's fantasies, and even at the love shared with him or herself. In plenty of relationships people stop masturbating (and creating art or music or writing or taking long walks in the woods) because it's perceived as a threat by their partner. And that is not life.

Compersion takes us to the next realm beyond. It is about being with and appreciating our partners for their desires, dreams, wishes and their personal journey to selflove. It's about being real, and having relationships as real people.



And how do we get there?

Start by telling the truth. This is what we need anyway. Sharing this truth we possess in our hearts, the essence of our being, is supposedly why we got involved with this other person in the first place. It's important to tell the truth gently, clearly and without the fear or the intention of hurting the other person, but not holding back, either. Then, because we are claiming the birthright of love, we must love them through their reactions and responses. This is a commitment it's best to go into the situation with. And we must love ourselves through their reactions, which is to say, not feeling guilty about who we are. So listen carefully, and let your partner own his or her feelings.

We must be ready to put love -- real love, which I am calling compersion -- above any given relationship. So we must, on one level, be ready to let go of those relationships in which we cannot be free, if what we seek is the freedom to be who we are. This does not hold just for sex and affection; it holds for those walks in the woods and those paintings that never get painted and the short stories that never get written. It has to do with not living where we want and not following all our other dreams. It is all part of the same thing, and it never ceases to amaze me to what extent sexual freedom parallels all these other freedoms. And freedom means that change is possible; freedom by definition implies change.

In the context of a close relationship where these matters arise, it's important to stay focused on selflove. Selflove is the basis of all love anyway. If the process of your relationship is moving toward compersion, what you may notice is that sex with your primary partner was never hotter. Aware of the potential for change, we tend to appreciate what we have ever more. So enjoy these enhanced experiences, and don't expect them to end as long as you're really being honest, because honesty leads to intimacy and intimacy is a good doorway to erotic passion.

But selflove is an extraordinarily powerful tool in this process. I suggest you masturbate together, one at a time, without touching. This will assist greatly when both partners are willing to work through a jealous crisis because it creates a very clear picture that the other is sexually independent of us. And it is a fairly easy vision of sexual independence to see the beauty in. Let your erotic energy and that of your partner wash away the fear, the discord, the pain and the insecurity of what you once called love.

Feel, if you can, how how erotic a jealous experience can be. When you are feeling jealous, swim into the core of the experience. Encourage your partner to do the same. Help them if you can. Right inside the jealous episode is a fiery core of erotic passion. It may surprise you how good it feels, and if you get there, you can be sure you're stepping right into compersion.

Last -- or actually first -- ask for help. Talk to understanding friends who you know will not encourage you to lie about your feelings, or judge you for being honest. But if you are on a spiritual path, ask your inner teacher for help. Whether you call this teacher the Goddess, God, the Holy Spirit, angels or by any other name, the only way spiritual agency responds is if we open the door. The movement from jealousy to compersion is one of the most direct spiritual paths there is, because we are learning so much of what spiritual programs attempt to teach: unconditional love, surrender, forgiveness, freedom, safety, and, most important, loving the way Spirit loves us: equally with everyone else. Loving this way may be the only spiritual lesson there is.

We know we live in a harshly moralistic society which serves to deny creativity, love and pleasure at every turn. The very fact of being willing and daring to explore another person's sexual responses, ideas, desires, feelings and realities is a challenge to this morality and control. To do so outside the bounds of a one-on-one relationship is even more daring, but, it seems, for many people, to be an inevitability.
Miashakti
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:54:21 AM
Dont listen to what what some people say peanut63. A REAL man or a REAL woman can only love one at a time. If they dont they are playing with peoples minds and have no morals. MAN I wish I was in my youth back in the fifties. And people wonder why the divorce rate is so high and their is so many single people in this world.



For Chrissakes, Don't listen to this guy..He lives in Vineland, New Jersey for godsakes!!!

Only teasing everyone...

Sometimes I just cant resist..My bad

javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:46:43 AM
Quote: The love you get to keep, is your own

What I meant here was that growing in self love, is the only one we can 'take to the bank' so to speak.

But for all of thhose interested in finding The One

The book "Calling in the One" is a real gem

it Googles
javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:09:41 AM
Check out my forum posts on Compersion

You may think differently after reading that

but I definitely believe in honesty in relationships...

That is primary
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/4/2008 9:06:19 AM
Quote from Wholesomeheart:


"I think I'm entering the cold as stone phase although I prefer to call it indifferent."

Care to deal with this,.. Wholesomeheart?

the smoking might fall way on its own at the same time
javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:57:50 AM



Dear Wholesome


If feeling tones communicate in cyberspace, you may want to notice that I try very hard to be loving and compassionate, while your post seems to be angry, sarcastic and confrontational..

Now, I will give you the benefit of the doubt, because it is difficult to really read energy from cyberspace.

Past generations did create THIS generation and even when folks stayed together so often the nuclear family was a hotbed of dysfunction. Many families stayed together out of guilt and/or duty and the kids learned very little about Real Love. IMHO

One day with me would cost you approximately $1,200....and yes, you might be a better person afterwards...

Many are!

You may like to read the testimonials on



www.TantricHealingTouch.com

Blessings and namaste

Jivana
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:16:35 AM
only
intelligent ones IMHO.................LOL

And please forgive this tiny bit of arrogance...it is my inner ' little kid ' coming out to play...

but she is really very loving and harmless

javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 8:03:00 AM
Quote: "And the only people who DO buy that are the people who actually do it."

and the ones who do buy it are growing rapdily in numbers, and will have a sort of trickle down effect...but you're right...it's not for everyone...only
intelligent ones IMHO>>>LOL
javascript:smilie('')

Check out The Sedona Temple

it Googles
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 7:43:44 AM
Peanuts; Did you know that in the top of your profile it says you are 64 years old....

Then scrolling down I see 34.

That's more like it...


You are beautifuljavascript:smilie(':modhammer:')

Jivana
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
y does people want to play two people at the same time?
Posted: 4/4/2008 7:27:35 AM
You need a lot of education my sweet soul

There is a new paradigm happening on this planet that says people can love many people...and of course, why not?

You can of course, disagree..but then you will suffer....read all the posts...they are all about that....

the only solution is to examine and re examine your old beliefs and see if they still fit

Blessings to you


Jivana
javascript:smilie('')

The love you get to keep, is your own
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/4/2008 6:49:18 AM
Quote: It really doesn't take a saint to believe in commitment, dedication, and faithfulness. Maybe some just have it and some don't but you can up the ante as high as you can imagine and it's simply just not a temptation.


And furthermore...'believing in stuff ' was the unenlightened scourge of past generations....and created lots of moralistic, uptight, mean- spirited unforgiving people trying to control their world. How many do you think that worked for?javascript:smilie('')

It is time now to 'be present' to our moment to moment truth and to live honestly authentically, and responsibly from that truth...javascript:smilie('')

We can still make agreements but there will be much less suffering if those agreements are sacred contracts that come from the from the heart and soul, rather than prisons erected by society, culture and religion.

IMHOjavascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Over Before It Began: She Actually Did Me a Favor
Posted: 4/3/2008 6:01:19 PM
Quote: ou are such a freaking no it all!!!! If instead of imparting your vast bucket of " WISDOM " on people you concentrated on who you are and your role on Earth at this moment you would know doubt know more and speak less which would in turn stop pissing off the rest of us. And by the way - Have A Nice Day !



Lifted from another thread, but it seemed to fit



WTF?!?!?!?!

Does this happen often? I didn't realise there are that many men with ridiculously small penises out there!!!


Makes ' em angry

javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')

and mean


javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How do I handle this?
Posted: 4/3/2008 5:00:21 PM
it would be good for your soul to befriend her, at least in this time....

You may not like her personality, but you both share a love for this man...no matter what darkness befell him...

And if you are support to one another now, it could be very healing for the both of you.

you may find that you have more in common than you imagined after all...and if not, at least you helped one another move through a difficult passage in life.

I think you will be happier if you go this route in the long run.

I hope this helps javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/3/2008 2:27:57 PM
Quote: It really doesn't take a saint to believe in commitment, dedication, and faithfulness. Maybe some just have it and some don't but you can up the ante as high as you can imagine and it's simply just not a temptation.



For you.... Mr. or Ms. One of 6 Billion...or so.

It's really different for different people.

I believe that people come in with different soul scripts and what is right for one is wrong for another...


Some people are just meant to meet and pair up...some people are meant to exchange with many.

And for some it is enough to be with one...

But it is never really too enlightened to be righteous about any form, because there is no one form that is right for everyone.


IMHO
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Over Before It Began: She Actually Did Me a Favor
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:55:20 AM
Quote: I think the bigger issue here is why do we date someone when we know from the begining there are issues. People are like electricity, we take the path of least resistance and somtimes it causes hurt and pain. Just my thoughts.


Ahhhhhhhhhhh, the mind is so logical, rational..but the heart and soul is not that...

Have you ever touched yours?
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Over Before It Began: She Actually Did Me a Favor
Posted: 4/3/2008 10:34:14 AM
Sweetie

I sympathize. Really I do, but if you are 'wounded' after 2 weekends together it just means you need more lessons in life.

Do go after them.

Try reading A Conscious Person's Guide To Relationships by Ken Keyes, Jr.....

It will help. I promise


And it will take you many steps forward on the game board of relationships, and your emotional body, as it is played on this planet.

It is fun da mental.

Good luck to you

you're just 'in school'

Now, go to class
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/3/2008 7:58:46 AM
Good that you stay in the game.LOL

Thanks for sharingjavascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
I don't know what happened.
Posted: 4/3/2008 7:46:57 AM
Case in point

"And now I feel like I don't really care about him anymore and I can move on."


Energy moves...things change

javascript:smilie('')
And yes, that which is FULLY expressed moves through and completes
javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
I don't know what happened.
Posted: 4/3/2008 7:44:38 AM
"Attachment" is a huge spiritual lesson...

We all learn from it.

A rare few realize freedom, the rest suffer for lifetimes.

The truth is: Energy moves. Things and people change.

Most often it isn't as personal as we would think.

In the unconscious realm, life is more about 'luck'. When a person becomes more conscious, it is about creating....the more conscious, the more deliberate the creating

I do not know how many of you will enjoy this information, but I put it out there and maybe it will light a few sparks.

Blessings javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:30:57 PM
are you still together?

Still in love?

Did #1 forgive you?

Nosey one, aren't I ???
javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:23:37 PM
What would you do Sage, if you loved one woman, and at the same time fell in love with another?

Let's up the ante a little by saying that the passion with #1 had gone a little flat, and that femme #2 lights you up like a Christmas tree.

Previous to her arrival on the scene you had your crumpled Viagra prescription in your pocket, and now you're noticing that you don't need it...... .

Now, it's where's the saltpeter!?

Honestly.... Can you be so honest? How about the others?

Do we only have the male saints on here? Appolonius? Soul Union? Wheeeer aaare youuuuuu???javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Took me by surprise
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:33:17 PM
Quote: He can keep her. I believe that they are on the same level. Ignorant and stupid. A match made in heaven.

This is classic sour grapes.... but it hardens the heart


Feel the love

Feel the vulnerability

Feel the loss

The anger

The hurt

What you can feel, you can heal

All the rest gets stuck and hardened...like layers of armoring

It's not fun to feel all of that, but it is the most honest and courageous thing you can do..and I think deep down you know thatjavascript:smilie('')

IMHO
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Took me by surprise
Posted: 4/2/2008 6:28:00 PM
quote: Sorry, Miashakti, but in my experience a guy like him loves one person, and that's himself.


No apologies necessary...and I really do get where you are coming from


however...javascript:smilie('')

I think most of us are on the slippery learning curve of how to love ourselves,....... and that is primary.

It must be...

Once we get that handled we will be able to be much more generous and responsible towards others...

but not until...

and I think we need to stop crucifying each other for our humanness...

it really gets in the way of love blossoming on this planet...


IMHO
javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:24:36 PM
quote: And if he didn't want to be a part of his kids lives then he should never have donated his sperm.


The whole world is populated (excuse me, overpopulated) by people who are the result of UNconscious sperm donations...

You can judge that fact from now until the cows come home, and try to strategize your brains out to find a faithful one...but until people become highly conscious of their sexuality, and make agreements that reflect self awareness rather than some moral and/or societal dictate, you're gonna be eternally frustrated by the truth of the human condition.

Many years ago I decided that rather than look for a man who would be faithful to me..I would become faithful to the truth...and this has led me to a deeper understanding of this particular human dilemma.

Many will choose to remain ignorant and righteous and others will try to see what is really happening beyond their own personal drama and conditioned prejudices..

As always, different strokes for different folks, as they say
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Took me by surprise
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:08:22 PM
Venezuelens are emotionally warm, and sexually hot and juicy...

No amount of smarts can win over that...you can be equally loved but different...but hard to compete...

Bottom line..Hot is hot
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Took me by surprise
Posted: 4/2/2008 12:04:50 PM
Could it be that people have many facets, and sometimes it takes many different people and experiences to learn about and integrate these facets?

You can downgrade his 'bimbo' all you want...but what seems to be so is that she does offer him something....That is obvious.javascript:smilie('')

He probably loves you for who you are, and her for who she is, and doesn't have the courage to say so...so he says he's 'confused'.

Can you expand into that possibility and love him for who he is...

Can you rise above your judgments and see that there is nothing 'wrong with this picture' except the constructs in your mind?

Try to love him, and you.....and that may set both of you free...to love.

Check out my forum history if you feel so moved...especially the article on Compersion

Good luck to youjavascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/2/2008 9:59:32 AM
> Maybe people have lost faith in it.
> Best wishes - Soul Union.

This may be too obtuse for most readers on POL to really get...but


.............. people all over the world are examining their fairy tales about what should and should not transpire between consenting adults...

"Cheating' is only called 'cheating' because of a Judeo Christian idea that non-monogamy is not okay...

As for the vixen woman...her husband may have had to leave (abandon) to get out from under her anger and judgment...

as he found he made an agreement that didn't hold true for for him, and he felt too shamed to address it...

Just human...not bad...just human.

If love is to survive and thrive on this planet I think we must all take another look at the constructs we have in place and determine for ourselves if they still fit for us, or if we want to liberate ourselves and just fall in love with each other for the flawed imperfect, but loving creatures that we are.
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:09:17 PM
And I do believe that the world would be a better place if we were all safe to be self disclosing with one another...

What a lightness and a joy that would be

javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
what happend to being fathful.
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:03:21 PM
I disagree Zithar..

I personally think that monogamy is an advanced discipline that few people are really mature enough to take deeply and seriously.

And I do think that people can really grow from having a wide variety of experiences with a wide variety of people.

Kinda like a liberal education of sorts.

Then, when really ready or when one who is really right for partnereing comes along... you know it...

But you don't try to fit every relationship into the 'one and only' slot..

It just doesn't work that way, never has and never will, and the fallout is the guts spilled out all over these forums..

IMHO

javascript:smilie('')
 Miashakti
Joined: 9/11/2007
Msg: 111 (view)
 
Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 4/1/2008 4:43:43 PM


Please forgive the elevated post here but I'm a Tantra teacher, so cut me some slack for that okay?

Sex on this planet has become a cesspool of dysfunction.

Where's the love?

If y'all want to f--k your brains out, please do so...but if you want to Make Love, figure out what that is, and what it is gonna take..

and stop confusing the two..

javascript:smilie('')


www.TantricHealingTouch.com

Make Love Not War...mp3 on the website
 
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