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 Author Thread: Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
 oohmeeohhmy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Curious: Why are you still here if you have a relationship
Posted: 2/2/2015 4:12:30 PM
I had been dating a man from here for several months when I noticed he was still frequently logging on... He said it was entertainment but when every girl you add on your facebook has a POF page it throws up a red flag...


When I am dating I hid my profile... Only communicate with those from forums...
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Am I being catfished?
Posted: 3/31/2013 9:17:41 PM
you only end up catfished if you talk to someone forever and never meet.... move on... no reason to give a strange so many chances....
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
actually meeting people in person
Posted: 3/31/2013 9:07:59 PM
If we haven't set up a meet in the first convo... it doesn't tend to happen... not sure what that seems to be... but then again... I would rather meet sooner than later.... I have noticed that convo's are fading a lot quicker than they use to on here.... was a time that anyone I talked to was ready to meet.... now not so much....
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Men who want to get married/have children and women who don't feel the same.
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:09:05 PM
I had about 15 minutes in my 30s when I wondered if I would regret not having children... and then knew I wouldn't... I never wanted them... I love kids... but I am not a mother... and the idea of child birth freaks me out.... dating when I was your age was harder because most men wanted them... and I have always just been upfront about not wanting any.... I have felt the same about marriage too... I have had several long term relationships and even lived with someone for 7 years... just never felt the need to get married....

bottom line... you have to do you... you have to be true to you regardless of what others think or expect....
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Are my hurt feelings justified?
Posted: 1/21/2013 8:01:43 PM
wow... yea... not good... I wouldn't be jealous but it is disrespectful on some level.... she seems like an immature girl who needs validation... think it may be time to move on...
 OOhMeeOhhMy
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
When is it a relationship?
Posted: 1/19/2013 9:18:18 AM
It is a relationship when you have the conversation that makes it one... not just because I went out with you once or talked to you online...

years ago... I dated this guy for months... he later found out I was dating others and was upset... I laughed... because he thought we were exclusive... we had never had that talk... we had it that night... and were.... can't ever assume anything.... far too many people are in relationships with people who aren't in one with them....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is there any way to get him to just shut up?
Posted: 12/9/2012 12:40:02 PM
you need to do more than tell him it is ok... tell him off... seriously... he needs to get over himself.... even if it was asked in a dating manner... it doesn't give him the right to be so darn full of himself... next time he pronounces this information in front of people... pronounce back that he obviously has language comprehension skills as he misinterpreted a friend wanting to go to a movie with interest in him.... movie does not equal a relationship....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
To what extent is something owed to your significant other?
Posted: 12/9/2012 6:16:49 AM
I think it has all pretty much been said... bottom line... she deserves someone who loves her for her... if that isn't you... then move on... people change.... sometimes for the better... sometime for the worse... have to decide if you love them enough to deal with the changes...

I was in a relationship with a guy for 7 years... he hated short hair on a girl... so I kept mine long... the day after we broke up I cut it off.... shorter than I ever had.... he came to the house to pick up the rest of his things... and loved the hair... funny how that works... I would never do that again... my body belongs to me... the choices I make... are mine and done for me... if my partner loves me... then he loves the changes I make... or laughs with me at the ones I regret....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Weird POF meet-ups
Posted: 11/26/2012 8:54:04 PM
I have been pretty lucky on here... I had one guy though who was somewhat different... he asked me to meet him at this sports bar... which was fine... I get there.... and it was pretty upscale... not very sports bar like... anyway... apparently it had been redone since the last time he had been there.. so he shows up and decides we need to go somewhere else... I am thinking it was a $$ issue.... so... we head to the starbucks down the street... in the light of day... I notice... his shirt was buttoned wrong.... and had food stains going down the front... he was wearing cords that were dirty and frayed... and shower shoes... I was like.... dude didn't put any effort into a first impression...

he kept calling after... funny... need to put something forward in a first meet...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why do people put their most flattering pictures up?
Posted: 10/29/2012 2:35:21 PM
I put all kinds of pics up.... and generally won't talk to someone who looks too good to be true.... because they generally are....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Confusion about messages no in sent folder
Posted: 10/18/2012 7:08:48 AM
I agree with Deby... I think it means she blocked you....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Sex too soon
Posted: 10/16/2012 12:24:55 AM
so... you want a relationship... date someone.... sex doesn't give any guarantee,.... good chance he is just a **** buddy... or friend with benefit... get out there... make him introduce you to his friends.... then you can tell if it is going somewhere... or just bed....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Did I ruin a good thing?
Posted: 10/8/2012 5:49:27 PM
I am not sure how it is a good thing if it wasn't what you wanted??? you had chemistry with someone who just wants to date... you want a relationship... move on... it is ok to like and want someone and not be with them.... you have to do what is going to work for you....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
hey, i cant be that ugly right? lol
Posted: 10/7/2012 4:20:39 PM
LMAO @ NSA not being popular where I am at... dude... I live in LA.... it is popular... just not what a lot of people on a dating site are looking for...

also... people don't like to email with IE people because they worry they will end up being blocked by non IE seekers....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
hey, i cant be that ugly right? lol
Posted: 10/7/2012 3:05:43 PM
you are on a dating site looking for NSA or IE.... fishing in the wrong pond would be my guess.... don't really need to review a profile to know that NSA is hard on a dating site...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Puerto Vallarta Accomodations?
Posted: 10/7/2012 7:42:27 AM
I have been there a few times and stayed at the RIU Hotels... they are all inclusive... they have 3 different ones there from more budget friendly to higher end....

I have done the condo thing... but found that it ended up costing the almost the same.... by time we bought food... and ate out... bought beverages.... unless you bring some food with you.. it tends to be more difficult, in my opinion, to grocery shop there....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Ouch...That stung!!
Posted: 10/4/2012 7:41:47 PM
I have several rings from an ex... none of which were engagement rings... I occasionally still wear them either though he is now deceased.... I currently wear a bracelet he gave me daily which is actually engraved with our names.... I have worn it since he passed.....

a ring only means as much as the intent it was given with.....

I will never understand why a woman will text and call out another woman... and not just address things with her man... I have several male friends who have had girl friends that question me on facebook... to which I say we are friends and any concerns she has need to be addressed with their man....

you have no more reason to believe that she is his girl that she has to believe that you aren't.... that is on him....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Should I say sorry?
Posted: 9/23/2012 11:45:49 AM
what are you apologizing for??? you were honest with her about how you felt and she rejected you... and in that rejection she became part of drama you had to deal with at work....

sorry she is sick... but really... she isn't anyone to you anymore....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
profile review please
Posted: 9/17/2012 7:58:24 PM
you want to date... but nothing serious... and you want to hang out...

most people on a dating site want more than that....

pics should be of just you....

need more text about who you are and what you are looking for....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
question concerned man emotion or feeling - whether this mean something more than just a toy?
Posted: 9/17/2012 7:39:15 PM
I have only had one boyfriend who could do this successfully where I didn't feel suffocated.... my best friend always called him the squishinator.... because we fit perfect.... but that is rare... most men I have been with have been human heaters and I can't stand that....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why is a man's height so important?
Posted: 9/17/2012 7:29:47 PM
the biggest problem with your height is... in real life 5'7" tends to be more like 5'5"... I love when I tower over a man who is supposed to be a few inches taller than me....

either way... doesn't matter... we like what we like.. you don't like fat women... women don't like height challenged men... it is what it is...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
see any future here?
Posted: 9/16/2012 8:10:40 PM
you are separated.... so my guess is that she isn't willing to emotionally put her self at risk until you are divorced....

also... I agree... I have never had mind blowing sex with someone I wasn't attracted to,.... so either she is lying about the attraction... or lying about the sex...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
So... This website just deleted a phone number that I just recieved yesterday
Posted: 9/16/2012 7:51:58 PM
I am going to go with her having been spam... when a person deletes their profile... their emails remain... when admin deletes someone.. everything disappears.... be thankful... they might have just saved you some money or heartbreak...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Question/Advice Please =)
Posted: 9/15/2012 1:45:46 PM
do your parents have a car??? can they come to you???

as for the money he spent on lawyers... that doesn't get him out of support... my guess is the lawyers are working for him against you... if support was court ordered... he needs to pay it.....

don't make tug of war game out of this...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
why not reply to a message
Posted: 9/10/2012 9:56:24 AM
I am going to guess that your look would attract only certain girls... not a bad thing... but I am guessing that not many women want a man with a Mohawk.... I am not sure what you are saying in the notes but just because you read someones profile does not mean you are entitled to a response or that they have to be interested in you.... your attitude in this post says a lot about how you are... and that you feel entitled... which online is rarely the case... you don't know anything about the women that aren't answering your notes to be able to say why they are single... or who they have dated in the past....

also... your grammar isn't so great... I know that I won't response to a note that has bad grammar....

learn the difference between their, there, and they're as well as your and you're....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Wedding present for my ex step daughter?
Posted: 9/10/2012 9:47:01 AM
I am going to agree with the no contact no gift crowd... you wouldn't get a friend or your ex a gift if you no longer spoke to them... they aren't you biological kids.... and they chose to not speak with you as adults not children who my not have had a choice....

at best.... I would send a gift with my kids... FROM my kids...picked out by my kids.... not from me....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Trying to determine if a women was interested
Posted: 9/9/2012 3:23:41 PM
I would probably place one call... and then move on... doesn't sound like she is interested... people make time for things they want to do... I went to school full time and worked full time... I still made time to hang out with the people I wanted to see...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
I feel really stupid for not walking my date to her car. Should I apologize?
Posted: 9/9/2012 3:17:02 PM
then call her... tell her you had a good time (if you did) and see if she wants to see you again... if you don't want to see her again... then don't worry about it... it really isn't the worst thing someone can do...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
I feel really stupid for not walking my date to her car. Should I apologize?
Posted: 9/9/2012 3:14:12 PM
when was this???

and yea... it is manners to walk anyone who comes to your home to their car....

I would call her and see if she wants to see you again... if she does... then make brief conversation about how you should have done that... I am not sure it would be a deal breaker if you didn't walk me to my car.... hence the reason I wouldn't bring it up until you know she wants to see you again...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Why do some men not want to meet – only chat?
Posted: 9/8/2012 6:26:38 PM
I agree with Janet... I don't hold out... if we are local... we meet within the first week or so of talking... I don't want to ever feel connected to someone I have not seen in person and who hasn't seen me...

cut him loose.... move on...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
 
I wanna sit next to u
Posted: 9/8/2012 3:39:39 PM
@abelian.... I love being with my man,... but I don't think everyone around me wants to see it... this couple that sat near me and a man I was with this past weekend were all over each other.. he was even rubbing ice on her chest because it was hot.....

when I am at dinner I want to talk to the person I am with... I want to be able to see their face.... watch their expressions.... I don't need to touch someone to feel connected to them....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Priortise these in order of importance for a man 1] Confidence, 2] Charm or 3] Friendship
Posted: 9/8/2012 1:56:54 PM
too friendly only friend zones you if you are that way with other women while we are on a date....

there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance... arrogant gets called an @ss.... confident does not....

charming is rarely creepy.... unless it is fake and comes from a place of looking to get something from it....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Priortise these in order of importance for a man 1] Confidence, 2] Charm or 3] Friendship
Posted: 9/8/2012 1:46:04 PM
4) be yourself and see it that works... there shouldn't be a game plan to try at something when meeting someone... just be who you are... the person you are around your friends and family.... I have never met a man that could keep up a facade that he created to catch someones attention....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Do you have any suggestions on dating wealthy women?
Posted: 9/8/2012 1:43:10 PM
being rich yourself would probably help.... not sure what your point is... one should have their own before entering a relationship... not saying one needs to be rich but no one should expect that someone is going to share their wealth with a person who isn't keeping themselves up....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I wanna sit next to u
Posted: 9/8/2012 12:29:16 PM
I don't get it... I want to sit across from the person I am with so I can hold a conversation without getting a kink in my neck...

I can sit next to you at home or movies or anywhere else.... although I don't think there is anything sexual about sitting right next to someone... I do find that those are the people making out like the need to get a room... in which case being at dinner is the wrong place for them...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
no messages? only the odd event invite
Posted: 9/8/2012 11:52:09 AM
pics of you with other women is a turn off... need pics of just you... and three of your car implies that you are about showing what you have.... add some pics of just you....

you screen out a lot of women when you say that looks are important... even the prettiest of women can be intimidated by that... I have a girl friend who is beautiful... but won't talk to a man that focuses on that... because she worries about the future and if she doesn't look perfect that he will get mad....

you don't really say anything about who you are in your profile or what makes you someone to date... need more info on what you do for fun besides the clubs... which is what the pics imply....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Asking for number vs giving number
Posted: 9/7/2012 11:14:55 PM
lol... so you can have his personal information but he can't have yours??? that is very one sided.... why should he trust you anymore than you trust him??? not like you are giving your address.... you can block someone from calling if they bug you.... my phone number does not provide you with any information on me other than a number for me to answer if I choose...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Asking for number vs giving number
Posted: 9/7/2012 11:05:09 PM
I am not one to call someone first... so I will give my number... I had this happened this weekend when I was out with friends... met a guy... and he wrote down his number... I told him that I never make the first call... and gave him my number... he was somewhat put off by that... but I explained... I am a little old fashion and want to see someone show the interest in me...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Great night, No call? Why?
Posted: 9/7/2012 11:02:02 PM
I am guessing he was thinking he was going to get lucky... and when he didn't... he was cool to see what he would get... then decided to move on... I would probably remove the sex therapist line in your profile... even with your disclaimer it implies that you might be more open than what you really want people to think you are....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
take a look . am i being mean?
Posted: 8/27/2012 9:04:09 PM
you are basically a good looking kid... a simple I prefer to date women of average weight will work... more than one sentence about that is over kill and scaring off women who have concerns about you perception of their body image....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
nervous about meeting
Posted: 8/27/2012 8:39:53 PM
scared of any man who would say he would fly to meet when we haven't even had a phone convo.... and I would hope that you would get to know him a little before that happened... because my guess is... no one in their right mind flies to meet someone on their lunch hour...

red flag...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Haven't got a reply in some time, your thoughts?
Posted: 8/27/2012 10:04:56 AM
LMAO@Cawk... I was thinking the same thing... good looking kid... wonder if he has a good looking single dad....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Haven't got a reply in some time, your thoughts?
Posted: 8/27/2012 9:35:58 AM
grammar is your friend...

if those are exact examples of notes you sent... they aren't easy to read...

your - possessive
you're - you are ( pretty cool that you're Brazilian) (I see you're a manager)

remember the d on and... ( you seem nice, determined, and fun)


also... you are young and good looking.... get off the internet and meet women in real life... I am sure that women would come up to you in the real world...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Messaging problems
Posted: 8/26/2012 6:10:52 PM
awwww... bless your heart... yes... it is completely possible to be ignored in the emails..... it happens all the time.... I would venture to say that 0 out of 12 is normal for many men...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Women who sell cars for a living.
Posted: 8/22/2012 8:17:10 PM
Sorry I don't live in Conn but I thought this was an interesting topic....

I dated a car salesman for about a year.... the problem was he was quite the accomplished adjuster of the truth and smoozer.... he could sell you on anything.... he was good at his job... but he was rarely trustworthy.... the longer I knew him and he did the job... the better he got at it.... which didn't work for us... I would watch him and his co-workers brag about selling people things for more than they should have... they thought it was great.... me not so much...

as long as you don't let yourself get sucked into that.... you would be fine...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
First date turns sour
Posted: 8/6/2012 6:04:26 PM
your window of opportunity to say something passed..... if it bothered you ... when she said it you should have said something....

move on... not your type obviously...
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
How to save a child from becoming their parent?
Posted: 8/5/2012 12:18:01 AM
hmmm....

8:00 am show up at help desk.... fill out paperwork.... file ex parte petition for change of custody..... see judge that day.... have change made.... serve mother with next court date.... show up.... represent self.... prove with EVIDENCE you are the better parent.... get custody....

not really that time consuming..... I see it everyday.....

and in California... you are billed for services rendered through CPS... when it involves the courts and you are provided an attorney.... CPS will act immediately when there is eminent danger or risk.... when there is a current allegation of abuse where the child is not safe in the home... CPS could also backfire on him.... and provide her services which support the children in her home.... and I know for a fact... if he has not proven to be protective.... he is just as much at fault as she is... knowledge without action is neglect....

I know we aren't going to agree... but I do think it is HIS job to protect his children... not the government... but hey... lets call CPS for him and see how it plays out....
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How to save a child from becoming their parent?
Posted: 8/4/2012 5:15:31 PM
you are being dramatic... he said she calls and sends them to their fathers.... they are not on the streets... there is nothing in there that says they have slept anywhere other than in a bed..... there is no evidence that the mother has had the children abused... maybe all the men were great guys.... we don't know... I don't know if you have any personal experience with CPS but most who have would not do that.... plus when you are involved in the CPS system you are charged for the services... my guess is it is more than what it would cost to do on ones own....

I guess I have to RESTATE... most family courts have help desks.... that help people fill out the custody paperwork.... and there are fee waivers for those who are lower income.... there are also fathers rights groups.... they help with legal as well....



per op....
I have to give my ex props in that she removes the children from a negative situation and places them with the person that they need most .
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How to save a child from becoming their parent?
Posted: 8/4/2012 4:54:44 PM
the father can be the best caretaker by going to court on his own.... these kids aren't sleeping on the streets and there is no evidence that they have been abused by any of the mothers poor choices.... his not going to court on his own can imply neglect on his part if CPS gets involved.... if CPS gets involved.... dad will have a case plan too... as will the kids.... it will disrupt the whole family... I am all for CPS but only when there is no parent able to protect on their own....

funny that you say you keep your kids safe at any cost.... well sometimes that cost means going to court on your own dime... and not making the government do it for you....

we only know the fathers side in this case.... wonder what the mother would say about him???
 iiCeiiCe
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
How to save a child from becoming their parent?
Posted: 8/4/2012 4:04:44 PM
why the heck would anyone encourage CPS involvement in someones life??? go to family court... change the court orders on your own.... CPS implies abuse.... moving from man to man is stupid but not abuse... at least not here in California.... CPS wouldn't remove custody... they would have dad go to court on his own and show his own ability to protect instead of asking someone (CPS) to do it for him.... most family courts have a help desk... you can file without an attorney and save some money... or even have a paralegal help for cheaper...
 
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