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 Author Thread: Idiots on POF
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Idiots on POF
Posted: 11/21/2018 12:47:48 PM
Well I believe it is just a general access that all apps ask for but it often serves a useful purpose on many apps. For example, it allows you on WhatsApp to have the app open your photo files when you want to attach photos.
Websites wanting to know your location/ C'mon that is an easy one. Haven't you noticed the advertisements are often from business near by?
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 390 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/21/2018 12:12:18 PM

There’s a huge difference between self respect (confidence) and conceit. Generally, those who are conceited lack confidence and have some form of low self esteem or there wouldn’t be the need to behave in a conceited manner.


That is generally true but just acknowledge that it isn't ALWAYS the case, which I think you did mention. The two terms actually aren't mutually exclusive. Remember viewing someone as confident and/or conceited are generally based on perception by outsiders. The "subject" isn't necessarily aware of themselves being one way or the other. The persons behaves based on the same rules of behavior they probably behave by. Since it is human nature to be a bit self centered ..SOME might give off a vibe of being overtly so, but nonetheless confident. Then you have the inverse. I substitute the word conceited with arrogant for example. I notice women will often think a guy they "dig" is extremely confident, while in fact others who don't "dig" him will think hes arrogant. Opposite sides of the same coin indeed. It is like the phenomena that often when women like a guy they think hes "hot" but that same guy might be perceived as a "creep" by a women who doesn't like him. It is really best for all of us to only care about what "WE think of ourselves" and put very little stock in what others think. But isn't that self centered? Hence,, my assertion that is is healthy to be self centered!! MUHAHAHA
Disclaimer: I have a tendency to only read 20% of posts so I can often comment on something without realizing it has been settled already. Sorry!


Because a woman who respects herself would say 'no' to someone who has no respect for her.

True, most of the time. Of course, A true confident person does what they want to do and in some cases might say "Yes" if that is truly getting what they want. Sometimes the END really justifies the mean.

It's tedious for the guy desiring nothing but sex because he'd need to understand what respect is (acknowledgement and esteem) then respect her for something besides her hot bod and lingual skills.


Generalization a bit. Although I a not a feminist I truly gone after and attracted women who have high self esteem and choose to do so because the sex is better and more creative with confident women with high self esteem. But sometimes high self esteem women are just looking for passionate lustful sex and can care less what I (or others)think and more to the point is wanting to be treated as a hot body. Not all women are looking for the same thing every second of the day.
Incidentally, I think feminist women are often better in bed. For the love of God, I still can't fathom how 2 out of 3 women writing me on POF have always been feminists above the norm level, despite my chauvinistic profile. Opposites do attract!

It means he'd have to talk with her, get to know her as more that some thing to ****.

True, those conversations often end up sexual though I assume.


A woman with respect for herself doesn't have sex simply because of what the man can provide (financial support, a dinner).

Actually she will if such a man can provide other things she desires. It still the man "providing"(time, brains,etc) and one of the reasons women attract to rich men is power. Lets not forget power can be aphrodisiac as well.

Okay I am done with my NG type quotations for the day. Someone had to fill in!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 7 (view)
 
choosing-between casual dating and intimate monogamy
Posted: 11/19/2018 9:37:19 AM

I have found in my life that I only fall in love after I have been intimate with someone. The intimacy is no guarantee of love, but it is a necessary prerequisite. It just seems that in my life, in my experiences, the real bonding takes place after sex. Lying in bed, holding each other, talking. About anything and everything. After the clothes are off, after you have revealed your true (physical) self, you are much more likely to open up and reveal your true inner self.

I absolutely agree Henry! Anything else is just friendship. I also find that often women really don't open up and get close until after sex has taken place. Having sex , of course as you say, is no guarantee. But NOT having sex is a guarantee of not being in a relationship. This is when it comes to adults. Not talking about High School relationships.

Casual dating leads to intimate monogamy often enough.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 364 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 11/19/2018 9:32:00 AM
Whats all the "I am ok" with being alone(but secretly looking)? We as humans have progressed to a society where it is almost inevitable we will meet others. The more we meet the more likely we will find someone "good". If someone wants to be alone by choice, that is fine. But the statistics to find someone are more favorable probably than anytime in history, no matter what age.
My father just lost his domestic partner and he turned 80 in June. He is already out cruising the single dances,etc. He has plenty of time to REST when he is dead he tells me.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 205 (view)
 
Do you care what a person does for work?
Posted: 11/19/2018 9:22:50 AM
Where I live 1500 a month get you an old 1br apt that needs the super all the time. I pay 718 heat /water included but I am one of the lucky million that has a rent stabilized apt. That means the gov't sets rent increases so the rents go well below market rate. But Brooklyn has the highest real estate prices compared to salaries in the country most years so be prepared to rent and have landlords try to kill you to get you out. No, I mean REALLY kill you.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 137 (view)
 
How men mathematically sleep with more people than women
Posted: 11/19/2018 9:08:54 AM

An interesting thought occurred to me. Do you remember what AdventureJoe said, just a short while ago? That he had done a million different things over the course of his life that he never would have done if it weren’t for women. My first reaction to that was total agreement. I know my life would have been drastically different if women didn’t exist. I think that pretty much ALL men do things because of women, because of some hope of getting next to some hottie.

Well of course we are programmed biologically to behave a certain way. Animals after all!. I always find it funny they compare cats to women and dogs to men. In some ways men are more like cats. We are more wild and more linked to our biological impulses. Thank god for that! If it weren't civilization might have ended centuries ago. Not just talking about reproduction. Our inner caveman actually drives us in the rat race that has produced the technological society we live in.
If women didn't exist I would probably NEVER take a bath! lol. Men have bad sense of smell IMHO.I wouldn't drive a BMW when I was in my 20's because I somehow thought it make me more "on top" of the mating pool in selection. Quite frankly European cars are too cramp for my height. I had a phrase where I was bored and thought I might get a Lamborghini but realized no where to park it and didn't need it in reality to feel young. Certainly I wouldn't make sure decisions to impress men. We all do things, often its unconscious though.
Interestingly, women often do make purchases, decisions to get approval from their own gender. I always thought that odd!


But is that NOT true for MGTOW? Do MGTOW men actually conduct themselves the same way they would if women didn’t exist, if there weren’t two sexes?

MGTOW IMHO are mostly full of shit. Lets see them try it for decades. Pretty hard go against biology, nature always wins. I rank MGTOW dudes in the same category as those proclaimed "feminist" males we all went to university with. They talked a good game ,but were secretly lusting and hoping to bone the feminist chicks they were worshiping. They were the biggest c##$%blo#$$kers in history because they even blocked themselves!

Didn't Sex in the City create a cadre of mantra whispering females who said "we don't need a man". Irony of that show was that most of the main actresses were totally desperate for male companion that it was pathetic(dating married guys ,etc)


Inductive reasoning is the process of arriving at a conclusion based on evidence and observations/data. It is not false data as the difference is statistically significant and too large to be just errors.


Common sense, or as I like to call it,Good sense, since there is nothing common about it, realizes that these type of studies conducted in these matters aren't conducive to reliable factual data.
OBSERVABLE data leaves NO doubt in my mind that men grossly report the number and women often report less. That doesn't actually mean that it is untrue that A LOT of men have more sexual partners than a lot of females have. Depends on the group as well.

If they conducted the study using residents of Pah-rump, Nevada I am pretty sure that if women were accurately reporting numbers of partners that they would have 1000x times more partners. You can't neglect the group bias. The fools who do these studies are often college students. In experimental psychology we used these numb-skulls all the time and paid them 5 dollars. So many of them tried to cheat and get another 5 bucks. You can't make this shit up!

That being said I would AGREE that there are MORE men that have a certain high number of partners than a similar number of women because they sleep around /cheat etc. But then you have a few select women(town tramp, hookers) that even out the numbers probably.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 114 (view)
 
How men mathematically sleep with more people than women
Posted: 11/14/2018 2:02:13 PM
Ok, lets do some gender sexist psychology 101 here:
Men often EXAGGERATE how many partners they have slept with..upward.
Women often underestimate the number of partners they have slept with to look GOOD and pure.
It isn't hard to fathom the results considering it is based on individual reporting.

Oh yeah , my born again catholic girlfriend used to say oral sex doesn't count as sex, and my buddies counted oral sex as sex.

This isn't rocket science here ladies and gentlemen! I would only believe studies about such a topic when they are being observed doing the horizontal mamba!

Next someone is going to post a topic of men penis sizes, and ACTUALLY believe the individual reported measurements!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 105 (view)
 
What does Wants to date but nothing serious mean?
Posted: 11/11/2018 10:28:36 AM
Some of you people need to lighten up. I go out on dates to have fun. I go to work to be serious, to achieve satisfaction from getting the job done, and doing it well. And, yes, because they pay me to be there.

Entirely different things, “dating” and “serious”.
correct!
I think it is obvious that you aren't going to continue a relationship that you don't enjoy .The expression of ball and chain makes me think that people hooked up who didn't have fun with each other.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 116 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/30/2018 4:37:52 PM

I wonder what women would say if a guy was to say to her: "I want to have my own bank account that you don't have access to, just in case we get divorced."

He doesn't have to say it like that. He could leave out the divorce part. Look, he should just say I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you. But I am keeping all my bank accounts and crreditcards,etc because I am NOT marrying based on the false idea that we are financial partners..we are much more than that". It worked for me. Mind you my spouse knew I am a latchkey kid from a terrible divorce where my father won custody and she was smart enough to know where I am coming from.

I am generally against joint bank accounts unless it is just a certain amount put in to pay common expenses. I actually reject the American idea of marriage where it is "a financial partnership"..because it REALLY isn't. Both parties might have separate debt and expenses.The whole legal system is messed up in that idea IMHO.

My brother and wife are married over 20 years and do have common expenses and I was a bit surprised they don't have any joint accounts. They have a system where one pays certain expenses and other does the same from their own accounts.
I as well always kept my finances separate , as did my spouse. When 2 independent people get married there is , IMHO, NOT any reason to combine finances.
I did a stint in finance when I retired and I can't believe all the divorcees, both sexes, that made stupid errors because they lacked good common sense. An example is co mingling separate funds without traceable proof. Most friends I have in finance have similar advice.

Marry for love NOT to be a financial partnership....that doesn't work I think.

I also think ALL people getting married, in today's crazy outdated legal system should get pre nups. I don't see why ANYONE, knowing today's high divorce rates, would flinch. Ironically, I was young and didn't do a pre nupt officially(although I did mention it and forgot about it when the time came) but when my wife asked for a post nupt over a decade later I jumped at it. Here , I cherished the fact and her, that after a decade of marriage and all the ups and downs that she didn't get greedy/corrupted like many spouses do and actually wanted me to feel good by suggesting a post nupt. She used to say, jokingly I am sure, if that if the time came she didn't want me anymore than the LAST THING she would want is anything from me..including money(I was much more financially off than her as well). We stayed true to our belief system..NOT the state gov't imposed system. Hell, we even did a city hall marriage and no wedding and the only rings we had was what her mom gave us.

What is interesting is my 2 best friends growing up also had similar marriages and values.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Lack of interest.
Posted: 10/29/2018 12:22:58 PM

Had to be quite a small sample size. :)


Well obviously if the sample increases to much,the ratio will look worst and worst. For example, I luckily see 2 hot women who I want to chat, I wrote both of them and they both replied..100%. That happened often. But if I get **** and spam over a score of women the "no replies" start coming in and the ratio changes. The sports analogy is very good indeed.
That being said, to increase my odds and since the pool in my area is very large, I only wrote those online. I never once conducted a search. One of the reasons I liked forums was when I am logged on women saw me as online and would initiate messages. Apparently, they often also look at who is online. My profile says i am taken and I still get messages that way lol.
I also would often dip into those I saw who viewed me and send them a message so that of course meant they were more likely than average to have somewhat of an interest.


Agree, 100%. You do NOT want a reply from a woman who would never actually date you. Just a waste of time, yours and hers.

That's why my advice for guys is actually write a good profile but send quick messages that don't take much time to formulate. I truly liked the fact that my lack of effort meant a response was fro ma girl that was VERY interested in me. Getting a high response rate means very little if the reply is only to be polite to your page long poetry, or responding to use you for entertainment.
I would get a kick out of it when a girl would reply" do you say that to all the women?"..but it didn't matter because her reply pretty much showed interest. My favorite message is still ";)"....if she replies it means the flirting has already commenced.

You guys want a 90% reply rate? NEG them. But that piss them off!


The swipe sites have more action, though many of the Bumble matches expire without a message within 24 hours.

I tried Tinder years ago, WAY before I got into a relationship. I liked it at first, but then found a few things wrong with it in MY area!
Now if you are only looking for hookups, and live in Manhattan then the app was created for you. I mean you can literally walk down the street getting matches. Not as great if one needs a 35 min subway ride.
My problem was that if I didn't reply almost right away the girl would find some other guy or chick to boink! It is the app for short attention spans and the always ready. In addition if you are in a large metro area your profile will be so far behind others joining after you that NO ONE will see you..EVER again.
It got to the point that after the first 3 days the matches stopped coming in unless I sent someone that "special like" we get to do once per day. Unfortunately, I reserved those for the best of the best who were getting those from other guys using the "special like" button. I found that to work , in a large city, one has to literally refresh with a new account every week. One also has to reply immediately! and be able to meet or make plans fast.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 64 (view)
 
A man's actions are the key variable that determines whether a relationship survives or fails
Posted: 10/28/2018 12:10:12 PM

More than a few hundred users have, read, posted, reacted / responded...………………...with questions, asked for advice, ………….suggestions were given, advice was given...………………… from MEN AND...….. WOMEN...………...over and over and over and over and...……………..for years.


Well, that is true. But lets look at the flip sided as well. A lot of the advice often given here is not great advice either for the posters actually achieving what it is they desire. It is kind of like someone going to Freudian psychotherapy for years and never getting well vs a more sensible NLP type therapy.
Look at "profile reviews"..people post in the profile review daily looking for help and in my personal opinion, they are given the same advice the previous 20 gentlemen have received. It is like POF version of the Happy Meal.

Myself and PIG(you remember him?) use to get in "helpful" moods and post advice there. Advice that, although not PC and what the fairy tale fantasy queens wanted to hear, would actually contribute to the OP'S actually achieving some success. Since the majority in the thread was against it they would actually tell OP's to ignore and we were asked to leave(Pig was banned).

Red wanna hear a funnier story? I myself posted there when I 1st joined and was given the same generic advice although my profile was like 10000000x better than the members advising me! Hypocrisy!
Then a chick(yes a chick) from Nebraska wearing a flannel shirt that looked like she just picked a ton of corn(YOU COULD SEE THE DIRT) told me I need to change my photo because I was wearing black and that is bad! Mind you I wasn't looking for "photo advice" and was receiving very complimentary openers(provocative sometimes as well) as it was. I politely told her that it goes with my complexion and works in my location and she responded with "good if your going for the young girls". Suffice it to say we both got banned for 3 days by the end of the thread. A LOT of bad advice here! Just sayin...
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Western men seeking love abroad
Posted: 10/28/2018 11:34:55 AM
^^^
Something I learned and is the same all over the world is that everyone always wants more and if they can't reach your level they prefer you go down to their level. Actually the latter part sounds like Democrat mentality lol

point is , if you go someplace where you are the "big shot" you are going to do well. But the problem is what happens when the honeymoon is over?
You bring the gal to your country where you are just middle class and your appeal goes out the door once they see your average and that there are bigger shoe boxes on the next block. It is human kind!
Red your father should have moved there. If he did , the scenario would be different. He would be the upper class white guy which is adored over there and all his wives would be fighting over him.
It is like gals fighting here for the Harvard graduate(substitute any elite adjective) or guys fighting for the hot women. Like that guy in Game of Thrones said" it is all about ________________________(you fill it in).

Personally I love foreign women(Europeans) and thank the stars I can live in a city that has millions of them!

That being said, OP don't send money to that Nigerian princess who says she needs it to untie her wealth. Send me instead and I will help you out and throw in the Brooklyn Bridge too!

But OP there is nothing wrong with it. At worst you are leveraging. But at the end of the day ..we are all commoditized one way or the other . Women in your native country are doing it and men are doing it. It is part of life. Those who can't accept that need to grow up.
Some men's redeeming commodity is their looks which fade. Others is their sense of humor, and some others depend on material wealth..which often is a product of hard work and skills so it is respectable. In some places like Japan just being a white male was attractive and the Japanese women might be richer than you are.

I repeat the problem is when there is a inner desire to get out of a bad situation and there is no ample time for a decent length of time court ship. That is partly why these type of relationships fail. I suspect if the US gov't wanted to put an end to it it wouldn't allow Green cards be acquired so easy. Any relationship is heading in the direction of failure if ample courtship time isn't observed, no matter what country!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Lack of interest.
Posted: 10/28/2018 10:48:20 AM
^^^^
I BELIEVE HIM!
Although I never got close to 75%, there were times during my experimentation where I had a small sample size reply that was over 75%. That was of course being a "sniper" with who I wrote to. In the end a big waste of time using so much effort ,but if he is indeed carefully writing messages to a type that he carefully screens and has experience that likes him..it is CERTAINLY possible.

For example, If I see a women who says she was from Greece, Italy , Israel, Eastern Europe, etc I know based on experience I can send a message that has a extremely high reply rate. Again I am sniping individuals mostly from continental Europe that I have experience with knowing that if they are "trapped " in USA , will have an interest in me. If I do , what most guys do, yeah reply rate be very small in comparison. That being said, I truly believe it is a numbers game so sniping is wasted time.

I should tell you about my Houston/Austin experience one day. I think those 2 cities are pretty good online dating.

p.s. an example of a message that get you over 50% reply rate is to make up a funny story and include her and you in it. Most will respond but a response doesn't mean there is an attraction. Therefore, the conversation likely will frizzle out!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Western men seeking love abroad
Posted: 10/28/2018 10:20:43 AM

Really? Wait until you see what it is like to be in the Ukraine ... just ask Joe.


HAHA....it is like dating a women from the 1950's who wants all the gadgets of 2030 TODAY!
The culture does put a priority on material wealth..as in flashy stuff. Since they don't believe in banks they spend everything right away. He would need to find a village girl if he wants a non spender but that type of women has other issues including perhaps thinking the cold war still exists!
What I always found fascinating though about Eastern Slavic women after the collapse is their practicality. If , for example , you have very little money, that's fine as long as you spend it on her. But if you are a big shot wealthy guy, you are also expected to spend it all. No wonder my parents divorced and my relations got strained with my mom and her family when I decided go into law enforcement. They had these like big plans of me opening a "business" or something like that. I was always like what type of business? Never got a good answer! But come to think of it she married my dad when he ran night clubs in NYC, and the divorce happened soon after he became a public school teacher.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 162 (view)
 
as long as they are willing to do two jobs--blow and hand :)
Posted: 10/28/2018 10:08:53 AM
^^
Oi!But I do enjoy a bit of maple syrup on my piglets , I mean pancakes!

Many of the big firms in downtown Houston hire off duty policemen and sheriff’s deputies for after hours security. Keep their employee’s safe when they leave work after hours. The big parking garages will usually have off duty officers, in uniform, directing traffic at quitting time.


That's what we refer to as "paid detail". The arrangement is between private industry and the city gov't, and certainly pays much more than regular security, and the cops are indemnified by the city if something happens. A lot of those gigs were at Yankee stadium, so baseball fans loved it.

That being said, in my experience, it was mostly rookies doing those positions , or guys paying a lot of child support.
For an experienced officer the hourly wage wasn't close to top. In addition any cop with time on knows " collars for dollars". What that means, is you make an arrest close to end of tour, and rack in overtime. Paid time and a half inside waiting for ADA to release you is much less stressful.
Personally I have issues with those security guards at the big box retailers that stop everyone at the door to look inside their bags. They once did it to a sgt I worked with, and he called for assistance and had the police arrest the guy for false imprisonment. Believe it or not but those guards doing that are actually violating local and even federal law if they hold you for no reason. In other words, they better have seen you shoplift something, or else you can get them arrested.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 158 (view)
 
as long as they are willing to do two jobs--blow and hand :)
Posted: 10/28/2018 8:18:43 AM
^^^^
Little Red Riding hood is trying to spar..once again. I didn't take it as a FLAG insult. I thought it was more inline with the topic thread. But if we are going to Flag spar Red you missed the following:


I tend to be a person who likes finding out stuff about people


Apparently, she might be inferring Canadians are more Nosy!
That being said, I was in Quebec City a few months ago and I found it quite charming and friendly. Much more so then Marseilles, France. The fort there was very interesting and very educational. Apparently the Canadians needed a formal written agreement with the USA in the 1970's that promised that we would NEVER invade them. Something we attempted multiple times in the period of 1776-1814(or something like that). They also had a nice zoo with polar bear show. We partly went because the American Northeast zoos have stopped getting new polar bears after the polar bear residents die off. Bronx zoo and Philly Zoo had none anymore . Thank god the Canadians still lock them up :)

Oh and lets not forge the Australians and their cat killing! It be a hoot if WW3 broke out with America bombing them because of cat genocide with Japan as our ally. Perhaps they haven't realized that felines are close to getting citizenship status in good ol USA.

Just kidding(but feline status is on the way here) :)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Western men seeking love abroad
Posted: 10/28/2018 6:59:55 AM
OP there is nothing wrong with going on an adventure overseas. Realize though that dating and getting to know someone takes time and there is NO SHORTCUT. If you go overseas you should be prepared to stay/live there for sometime or you run risks!
As for where you go..choose based on your interests. Travel is a time to enjoy exploring different cultures and food.

But if you insist on going just to "find" a women I would suggest Asia..Philippines. I never have been there but having many expat/military friends I see the advantage. Being a former American colony they speak English, like Americans(Australians TOO I bet) and there is actually many retired Americans living there which means an infrastructure to support your search.

As for Ukraine...I gasp at the thought. Nothing to do with the so called "war"...most of the country is safe from that. Also prices are quite cheap atm. If you were to search on your own you can literally find an apt in some areas 20 a day and everything local is cheap.
You will have a few obstacles in Ukraine though:
1. English usage is the lowest in Europe and maybe even the world. I am sometimes shocked at how low. That makes things kind of hard IMHO. If you must Google Translate works lol

2. Well, tbh and blunt, Ukraine is one of the most foreign phobic countries on the planet. They truly see foreigners as outsiders and that can make things a bit uneasy. Even the majority of normal women are phobic. I speak almost fluent Russian and they see me as an outsider.

Again, these are just my opinions but they are kind accurate. I am half Russian from Ukrainian and me and my brother even inherited our family flat there when my mom passed away so have a birds eye view but it has been over a decade since I stepped into the country. I would much rather spend my time on the Ligurian Italian coast where my father came from lol

Heck, I got a better idea...MOVE to Brooklyn. I can't walk one foot outside my door without banging into a Ukrainian or Russian women. Although most immigrate with husbands I kind of notice they are single after a while. But here my old time neighbors have the opposite problem you have. They sell their homes to get away from all the former USSR who live here.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 149 (view)
 
as long as they are willing to do two jobs--blow and hand :)
Posted: 10/27/2018 3:53:52 PM
^^^^
Ah! GOTCHA RED. If you like I will huff and puff a bit!
Let me break this one apart:


And? He doesn't want to sit at home for all eternity while waiting for sex. Can you blame him? He's bored.

So he should wait an eternity for sex? and doing so means hes bored?
SEX is healthy(even good exercise) and a human need even. Beats reruns of All in the Family!


I don't care about him thinking he's a player.

That is VERY big of you. After all we ALL shouldn't care what others think of themselves. That being said, the term is usually not self imposed. It is a perception from others.


It's encouraging women to be hos for men, and applauding women her for their low self-esteem that put out in order to "try" to secure a relationship.

What do you care? You sound like the "mother hens" that c@#$bl#$k men all the time and worst do it to the other women. REAL self esteem is worrying about what YOU DO AND doing IT, NOT telling others what to do and judging them..WHICH YOU DID BY CALLING THEM "HO'S".
On that note WE ALL do things for the other sex that sometimes we wouldn't do otherwise. Sex is at least natural and safe sex is free. You think men enjoy working 60 hr work weeks just to afford a nice looking pad to impress women? or to buy this or that, etc?

Heck looking back I wasted A LOT of time doing things that if women disappeared from the planet I would never do in a million years. WE ALL do things to attract the other sex and keep them. It is very natural thing to do and has been done for thousands of years. Lets not fix what isn't broken! It is all part of modern courtship.

Looking back at my "mother hen" comment, I realize if you truly are from NYC then it can't be true. NYC is ONE of the ONLY cities in the US and world I have been to where Mother hens are rare. I am constantly amazed how women in this city don't care when their friends want to stay out all night hanging with a guy and the friends just leave them alone. My friends from LA are always in awe. They say back there friends rarely will go home leaving their friends behind. I guess I live in a city of "ho's"..by your definition.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 147 (view)
 
as long as they are willing to do two jobs--blow and hand :)
Posted: 10/27/2018 12:26:36 PM
^^^
Can't comment on "hospital security" but here in the city the Hospital's have a force of peace officers who are hired to guard the hospitals. They are not your avg security guard and they are gov't employees.
Unless it is a job for specialized" security" I don't know one cop that would work regular security for extra income. There are numerous reasons for that:
1. Horrible pay. In NYC the top security per hour is about 20 dollars per hour. I don't know any cops that would crawl out of bed to do that. I assume it is less in other places.
2. Most jobs in security these days aren't for armed positions because of liability issues. Cops tend to refuse being un armed and if an unarmed position, the salary would be lower so , again, it doesn't pay crawl out of bed.
3. There are numerous jobs that actually reward and use the knowledge and experience cops have developed in their career as to avoid standing around for min wage, risking their lives.
examples:
1. body guard( plenty of rich famous people wanting that)
2. Driver/ family body guard= these jobs pay the most, my ex partner gets about 80k a yr plus ot( that's in addition to his 70k pension) to drive some rich real estate tycoon around. He gets a take home luxury car and gets paid for his drive in an home to work.
3. Teaching. Certain skills are wanted in Federal academies. I know a counter terror Lt who makes over 6 figures teaching at a Federal LEA in the south.
4. ANOTHER police job. Most cops here retire to Florida and if they get bored get another LEA job and work on a second pension.
5. Insurance companies. Anyone with Highway can easily be recruited to work for the big insurance companies.
6. Become a police executive in a small town someplace(plenty of NYPD go on to be chiefs in some small town in New England)
The list goes on. Much safer and better paid
7. Go to Law school,etc.
Realize Canada and USA is a bit different. For example one of the reasons NO sane business that deals with the public wants a cop is simply because the cops have concealed weapons and the company can be sued if something happens and very likely something will happen because cops are trained to apprehend while most security guards are trained to just watch and call the cops. Apprehensions lead to lawsuits.
But again salaries might be different in Canada vs USA where every dept a different pay scale. Cops in long Island make up to 200k (our suburbs) to take cats out of the tree and do DWI arrests all day, and we have I think better pensions and MORE important cheap warmer climates to retire to ;)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 15 (view)
 
I just lost my soulmate.
Posted: 10/27/2018 7:53:09 AM
Good news, she wasn't your true life partner soul mate. We meet many soulmates in our lifetime but the TRUE life-mate can't leave you.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Using different names?
Posted: 10/27/2018 7:50:50 AM

One line I see often is "Don't contact me if you voted for Trump". Many of us who cast a vote for Trump in November 2016 don't actually like Trump. We chose the lesser of two evils and were forced to vote for Trump to prevent Hillary from winning. I voted for Sanders in the primary, and probably hate Trump more than most people who didn't vote for Trump hate Trump. But I will comply with their wishes and not message them.


I would give you a cigar. The libs tend NOT to understand that. In a country where the choice is one idiot vs 1 buffoon, we don't often have a choice. That being said Trump is a disappointment I think to many who voted for him.

On topic. I don't care what name they use. We are "ALL strangers until we aren't" an no one has obligations to anyone else. There use to be a nut job on here who would do online searches for the names of guys she was meeting and would ask everyone in town(postman, butcher,etc) if they knew the guy.Just knowing some women would/can do that is enough reason to make up names.

Any person who thinks you owe them your complete disclosure without knowing them is clingy and isn't worth the effort in the 1st place.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 145 (view)
 
as long as they are willing to do two jobs--blow and hand :)
Posted: 10/27/2018 7:40:33 AM

Do you mean You don't care yourself, or that you don't believe leagues exist among the masses based on social-economic status? I think it does, but not in the same way in all population sectors. But in more "elite" pockets, it does.

Holy Batusis! NG used a qualifier. I guess I got through to him ;)

For the record, I avoided dating co-workers, cops or EMT"S. I partied with them but didn't date them

You don't know what you are missing! Funny a lot of cops I knew were married to Doctors, nurses and stripper/dancers. Must be the "like" hours. But many married to teachers as well, go figure.

LIR, if Henry likes you, he views you as a person that has sex right away. That's the only value he places on women

That statement makes very little sense. Perhaps it is more like"if he likes you he wishes that you have sex right way"? If so he is absolutely correct. He is a man and he should follow his biological programming, as we all should do. I tend to reserve "seeing someone" as a person to those I have NO romantic interest. It isn't a compliment. Sure beats being the nice guy who is lying that he is asexual.

I always find it odd that when a guy does like that once in a while and enjoys the single scene, he's a player.

Never understood the line" player". If he is honest with the women he meets about his attentions..he isn't a player. No one got played.

Many of the blue collar working men here have much better paying jobs than most white collar, college/university educated women and it is not uncommon to see them coupled up.

That is often true. I got the = of a PHD(in credits) but made my money being a gunslinger for the MAN. I always wished to have more skills and less useless "formal "education.

I'd probably be interested in police men and security guards and other similar positions.
My boyfriend is a security guard.
It's just fun to talk about and I like the guns and it requires a lot of balls and skills.
Other jobs are pretty boring in comparison.
I don't really find trades attractive or men who use their hands in their work.
Or retail. I guess government jobs could be attractive and lawyers.
Basically I find the authoritative positions attractive.

2 things:
a.Security guards and police men aren't the same thing..NOT even close. Saying so would be considered insulting to most cops and most employers looking for security guards will NOT hire police officers. The job expectations are usually completely the opposite.
b. Most rookie cops are being warned to keep away from YOU lol. Badge bunnies are usually VERY nutty in the head and can jam up an honest lawman any day.

I will note that in some parts of this country, $400,000 is a "starter house", "entry level", "first time home buyer", "cottage" -- you get my point. Southern California comes to mind. Up around the bay area, Silicon Valley, I'm not sure $400k would get you a vacant lot.


I wish. 400k on my block will buy you a 1BR coop apt which means you have ownership in the co op and you still pay 1k "rent" per month. 800k , maybe will buy you a home that is 90 yrs old where the subway runs through the backyard.

My 2 cents is that women tend to care a bit about a mans type of employment , and men rarely care AS MUCH. Most important is IMHO being able to spend time together. Compatible work schedules should be most important. I don't care if she works because if she is financially independent like myself it means more time having fun. I feel like Michelle P. in Scarface waiting at home to be F#%^^ lol. As for the statement that travel is an expensive lifestyle, I say hogwash. One of the reasons Seniors are dominating the travel industry is they have the time and some money. It doesn't take a lot. When you can go at anytime YOU would be surprised at how low costs can be. There are plane tickets that cost less than a train ticket and ABNB has made rooms cheap.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 456 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/19/2018 3:10:32 PM

) for what its worth, ladies, Norweigan guy doesn't just man-splain the ladies :) Guys posting here get the same treatment. look thru the archives, you'll see i'm correct. its just the way he is.


Absolutely. He has attempted to do it to me and I did it RIGHT back at him and he disappeared for a few days lol.

Don't try scam a scam artist!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 455 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/19/2018 3:05:29 PM

Once again, this is all what I consider a rant from men who don't like that women have the freedom to tell a man 'no'.

Not sure who you directed that at???(raises eyebrow). I saw no one ranting here , neither gender. Anyone can say whatever they want here and feel whatever they want BUT ONCE YOU(they/he/she) put it down in a public forum they/you/he/she should be prepared that those that don't agree with them 100% are going to express themselves. You want "political correctness" I am sure there are other avenues!

Also what do you know about the guys on here to think they have a large problem with women saying NO to them? please share! My experience has shown women often handle "NO" FAR WORSE than men do. Again it is based on my experience and every ones mileage will fluctuate.
* I don't accept NO from guys any more or less than women, I have a dominant personalty,equal like and/or disdain BASED on the individual :)


Layaway was more popular BECAUSE women (who did most of the shopping) couldn't get credit or store cards in their own name.


I don't know the "why", just stating the facts. I was always offered layaway at electronic franchises and other businesses that had more of a male client base. But then the credit cards started giving everyone a card ,even pets! lol.


I don't know - isn't it discrimination if the first criteria for a credit card is: male?
How about if it was 'white'?
Or Methodist?
Or heterosexual - no fetishes allowed?[/quote

Debatable. That is why I said "PERSONAL" discrimination. The decision isn't being made to be unjust or be prejudicial....just what was considered good mathematics based on risk based on stereotypes back in the day that might have represented statistics. Business NOT personal.
It is like when they say cops stop more blacks that they are discriminating and being prejudice. But I can assure you that MOST of the time cops are stopping people who fit descriptions that went over the radio. Profiling can lead to stereotyping but again that doesn't make it prejudice.
Perhaps the victims are prejudice and need to stop giving descriptions that include race when reporting crime ? ;)

When they used to ask me why I am always stopping them , I would answer because someone keeps reporting you!


I think it's pretty hilarious when people (mostly males) say that feminism is a ploy of the corporations.


REALLY? People think it is a ploy of the corporations?
I must have missed that! I CLEARLY said that corporations have supported feminism. It is SIMPLY because it is good business sense. However, if it wasn't, things today might be different. Money talks! If they didn't support it they are stupid and the stock owners should fire the boards.

Two interesting things about this thread:
1. A few of the women agree with the guys

2. The women like to accuse men as ranting when they themselves sometimes RANT and I think Boo's post came across as maybe being a rant by some people ,so members responded.

Most men from the tonality of their vernacular use weren't impassioned at all.
But perhaps we use "ranting" differently?
verb
gerund or present participle: ranting
speak or shout at length in a wild, impassioned way.
"she was still ranting on about the unfairness of it all"

The real absurdity of the way this thread has gone is nonacceptance that anyone one is going to change anyone's minds:
No one is going to change how Boo feels or any other member feels about the past so you would have better chance to part the Red Sea..just saying.


But go on and walk on that moral high ground and keep patting
yourselves on the back for all the strides you've made for social
justice and equal rights



Not sure who that is directed at but if I am included in that group I am gasping at the implication. I am in NO WAY trying to make strides on getting equal rights. That would imply that I THINK women and men are equal and everyone who knows me KNOWS I don't think we are(and we aren't).
That being said despite my sexist/chauvinist old fashioned upbringing..I don't think ANYONE is better and/or worst than anyone else ALTHOUGH some times there are barriers that might make it appear so. If someone doesn't want to go with my beliefs I am cool with that, plenty of fish in the water. I live in the most chauvinistic city on the planet probably outside of the MiddleEast and was raised by Italian/Russian parents so good luck if you think I am going to change now when I am retired and having fun! If I was psychoanalyzed it would probably come out that I am just looking out for my interests and being selfish. Psychologically that is healthy! Most people are selfish. I also am NOT a nice guy!

But RED still luvs me for being BAD :)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 446 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/19/2018 6:48:40 AM

Now this is the kind of crazy nonsense you get from far right radicals. The people who listen to InfoWars (and believe what they hear).
Now now Henry. calm down. In this case , I don't agree with you and you know when I do I let you know. You are kind of taking it personally that someone from my "generation" could think that ,since they didn't go what you went though. That is BS.


Kids from my "generation " grew up with the constant reminder of "what if?" since our parents and older relatives were drafted. There presently isn't a draft in the USA but every decade there is talk of reinstating it, although the military top brass wants a professional military instead. The fact remains, EVERY high school male knows that Selective Service system is basically signing up to go on record for conscription. They did back when I was in school. I had an uncle(disowned) who ran to Canada to escape the war. My father was at Fort Dix he was "drafted"(kind of) in the time between Korea and Vietnam. I say kind of because he gamed the system. He knew if you join up you stay in less time than the required draft.


"The Selective Service System is an independent agency of the United States government that maintains information on those potentially subject to military conscription. "..read that and weep. As long as it EXISTS, that should tell you something.

Secondly , NO ONE should be respected for the struggle to get a credit card! Go back and read how odd that statement is. It the tool of the bank to make profit and put you in debt and back in the 70's layaway was WAY more popular anyway .
That being said...being turned down for a credit card Probably isn't a personal rejection or discrimination. Corporations loved feminism, they profited from it after-all.

But perhaps their statisticians formulated a calculation that women weren't staying long in the work force or in stable jobs,etc and were considered more risky? Credit card companies make decisions based on calculative risks. Not politics! sheesh

Again, as I said this stuff should be in "off topic". Talking politics will NEVER end well in a dating forum.
 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 120 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 8:22:38 PM
Thank you Red!
MsMicki lol..but I used qualifier's such as IMHO, I think,etc. If NG would start using qualifier's more often then actually no one can really criticize his criticisms of them.


P.S. another large difference is my opinions are sometimes backed by the so called experts in social psychology. They might be true until another expert refutes them
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 117 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/14/2018 4:43:27 PM

Correct. I wasn't calling BS on Everyone who thinks Brad Pitt's unattractive -- nor was that targeted at any individual.


I came back to just apologize. I used the wrong example and NG took it too far. Apparent;y there are a lot of women who in America say they don't like Brad Pitt and he is confusing them not liking him or not finding him attractive as meaning that "he is unattractive. That isn't what I think it means NG. I see that many posts have discussed this since I wrote it and I apologize for letting it go so far.

Secondly, I made a VERY bad example by using him since, as you said, often Ango centric say they don't find him attractive.
But the cultures that I am referring to REALLY don't find him attractive. If he wasn't a movie star they wouldn't think twice about him. You can substitute Tom Cruise or most American actors. As that other women stated it is a cultural thing. The French for example have their own media industry and find other men to be attractive and to be leading men that look quite different than Americans movie industry does. Eastern Europeans tend to have a different look they like.

So YEAH when the girls that I am talking about say they do NOT like Brad Pitt (or Tom Cruise OR any of the new feminine type actors that are in movie rolls these days) I certainly believe them. I live in South Brooklyn which is Mostly Russians, Ukrainians, etc. They have a TYPE. They watch them in their own movies , media and they look very different than Brad Pitt and the assorted American actors. My wife was Ukrainian ancestry. I know she really doesn't find him attractive nor did any of her gorgeous friends. It just isn't the type they grow up adoring. That culture in my age group tends to like more guys that look Georgian which is similar to Greeks and Italians. My Brazilian gf says blond blue eyed guys are more popular in her country. That is the opposite of Poland where the girls flock to Mediterranean guys. Different strokes ;)

As for doubting the media's ability to make men attractive in women's eyes , I will give you a few examples. SEAN CONNERY. His first role before James Bond he played a nerdy scientist/teacher type and women didn't like him at all. It wasn't until James Bond, a role he almost didn't get because they thought he didn't look the part, where he became desirable. Part of his overall attractiveness includes his famous deep voice. If he had a different, less commandeering voice perhaps it would be different?
My generation the girls were "taught" to like Kevin Bacon and Christian Slater..2 actors that the media even thought didn't fit the Hollywood image but Hollywood made them so" hot" that many generation X'ers had posters of him over their bed . Lets not forget the guys today in media tend to look more feminine and the girls adore them but the women over 40 don't find them to be as attractive.


NG seems to think his word is gospel and that everyone thinks like him in many topics,


Well you and me are friends and all but I understand why they are reacting that way. Many forum members actually REALLY don't find hi m attractive and you are , it seems, saying that is BS. When women don't find a guy attractive they tend to NOT pay him attention in that "way" unless they like other things about the guy. They don't use the 1-10 scale that many men use. I think the problem is, and I hate to say it since we are friends and such , is that you are actually MORE of a feminist then most of the guys here, or women here. You actually think most women think and feel the same as a guy does. No they don't. They are as a gender , IMHO, more different in their individual opinions of men attractiveness , than men opinions of women.. As mentioned, when you actually talk to women and see what they really like you will find they have complete various differences that are all over the place. To see this "taste", you gotta get to know them when they aren't conforming to media or their friends/family or town culture.

Now of course psych experiences have actually been conducted showing certain global features that women find appealing with certain racial differences . Deep set eyes, big brows, big jaws and even prominent noses for Caucasian men for example. Experiments have been conducted where women were just looking at separate features and the outcome was that they consistently picked the same photos of separated features.

Here is the ironic thing in the study:When looking at photo's of men's faces women didn't actually necessarily pick the faces that had those features. Tastes were consistently more personalized with more women picking men who had more feminine features.Certain women who were more older perhaps picked the more masculine men while the younger women picked the more "girly" looking features. The out come has been repeated in multiple studies so as an experiment we know that women make different decisions about what they find attractive when seeing "features" vs" the guy".

We can't, of course, know why for certain the reason for discrepancy, but it was hypothesized that women of today are looking for less masculine men as partners who will be more caring to raise children. That makes sense since our culture now puts men in positions doing stuff men didn't do before that is less traditionally masculine and this is also the look the media has pushed for decades. But when it comes to the DNA (whatever word you want to use)..women still find the features that the alpha masculine man who is built for survival would have. What that tells me is at the end of the day the caveman still is appealing lol.

Btw as one hypothesis about why Hollywood has been feminizing the looks of men over the last 2 decades has to do with a need for a lot of interchangeable actors. I don't know if it is the only factor but it was an interesting read. The hypothesis was that decades ago the leading men had character and were idols that were important role models and the actors fulfilled different roles. You couldn't just go out and find a new one everyday. TBH if you go back in time, it is true.
Today the new actors come and go in popularity like the setting of the sun. In today , out tomorrow.

Disclaimer: Now some of the stuff I have written are my personal opinions based on my experiences and observations. Others are actually my opinion in agreeing with stuff that I have read ,including psych experiments(some I actually repeated in experimental psych class). I being a man ,who thinks scientifically when observing the world, believe a lot of the hypothesis are true..until founded untrue. But unlike you I don't state my opinions is correct about how others view things .Speaking of science ,I am doing a fecal flotation with a compound microscope and centrifuge as I write this because our 2 kittens have diarrhea and I think I might succeed where my vet has failed..now that is what I mean by moving to ones own tune. Not exactly mainstream stuff!

In conclusion when a women says she doesn't find a guy attractive she is simply saying SHE doesn't find him attractive. She thinks others might/will find that guy attractive possibly.

I also have a hypothesis NG for why you think the way you do(I figured you out yrs ago ) and again it is my hypothesis based on never being in Fort Wayne so I am going to make assumptions since I don't know what other places you have lived at. My hypothesis can be completely wrong since I don't have all the facts.
Here goes:
1. you from the Midwest, which from what I have observed is VERY mainstream American values. Even the American English vernacular taught in schools is Midwestern . Therefore a lot of your personal views are mainstream. That includes who you think women are attracted to or not.
2. Your from a large city by Midwest standards but Fort Wayne doesn't have much diversity. In fact it is one of the mostly white cities in the US and except for blacks there isn't a huge amount of races. Wikipedia confirms this. That means you live in the type of city that is like a " big town" where the nail that sticks out gets hammered. A lot of your gospel isn't surprising. You actually come across like someone who is a product of your environment. I even looked on google maps and I see even having sidewalks is a luxury. People probably just drive everywhere and conform to their own niches, which there isn't much variation there.

I find that to really predict the other sex one has to actually travel and live in other places that follow a different beat. When you do that you might find that some of the things that you believed was just cultural bias..brainwashing. It is kind of like when Christian Bale in Batman had to learn to understand criminals by being with criminals and becoming one himself. To do so he traveled to the far corners of the globe. I used to think a lot like yo,u but I did the BATMAN thing.

I used the word predict because I feel we may never understand but we can at least predict. Success can come from prediction.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 417 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/7/2018 5:32:42 AM
You know do your duty as a citizen screaming about all those rights of yours that should be followed, then don't want to be part of the justice system that makes sure you have those rights. Yeah pay me for it and make it worth my while? What an interesting thing to run from it probably takes away a from all that important stuff in your life, like you know t.v., riding a motorcycle, having sex. Think about that the next time a pedophile, serial killer, or some other criminal walks free cause just like you maybe the people who would have done the right job decided to bail on their duty as well as they weren't paid enough. Never mind the child's life they could have saved, or the next victim they could have prevented nice ideology people have.

That is like saying all people have a duty to vote but as long as 100% of the candidates running are total tools..count me out! (Republican here who thinks Trump is an A#$)
That being said the "pedophiles, serial killers," often walk free simply because of the crazy way our Justice system works, a combination of sloppy police work, and sloppy work of the prosecution, and the judges every 10 minutes telling the jury they have to ignore "the evidence". Retired cop here, been there and done that. Not my monkey not my circus NO MORE!
The system is broken , ONLY way I would be a part of the madness is to be payed. I used to like going to court because working nights meant it was overtime :)


Poor people tend to be more vindictive without regard to evidence.

True but the race of the jury also does influences outcomes. Every lawyer and cop knows that if they go to trial in the Bronx and Brooklyn that they will lose if they are representing big business or indicted law enforcement. That is why accused officers often are trialed upstate. In fact I have threatened to take big businesses to small claims court before. I always tell them I will take them to court in Brooklyn and not mediate. You will be surprised how fast they settle.

I agree that officers should ONLY be judged by those that understand the nature of the job. Sure that is bias but it is already bias when a jury is privy to the details from media.

It is sad because I used to be exempt from jury duty and then they changed the law to allow force us to be called for civil trials. Problem is often civil trials have a criminal element. I wouldn't be picked even if I begged to. I think last time the person suing was a convict lol.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 408 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/5/2018 3:53:41 PM

o, the reason nice guys finish last is due to our mismanaged government. (sarcasm alert)


Sarcasm aside there is truth in that but let replace "gov't" with the corporations. I am convinced there isn't one thing that is allowed or not in this country if it didn't benefit the big business and corporate elite. The corporations love feminists. More people to buy their products who don't need permission from a man and they benefit from the larger work force who they can pay less.
They benefit from the "nice guys" who can't hook up easily by increasing money spent on self improvement, etc. As long as our countries policies are dictated by corporate needs there will always be a social separation since that is profitable for them. Do you see them promoting world peace? Exactly, so last thing they want is national social "peace" among the population IMHO .


Think whatever you like, but I always thought that women should have equal rights all along. What I object to, is feminists getting in my face about equal rights. I didn't do it. I am likely, however, to come back at you for for something I had no control over.


I have no problem with equal rights. Society should give equal opportunity .My issue are the feminists that think we are ACTUALLY equal. Rights is one thing but lets not pretend that there are NO differences between men and women. Heck the smartest men and women (scientists, etc) know that there are differences, so why pretend otherwise? Just because the sleaziest people(politicians) say otherwise!

Also lets now call American feminism REALLY EQUAL. You can't have your cake and eat it (too). Although I don't believe in feminism(I am not anti it just don't pay attention to it, it don't effect me) there are countries like Iceland, Norway, etc where it really is equal so it is hard to be against it there. I respect that!
As for Jury duty, they paid you? Where I live you lucky if they ever pay you and the people who aren't smart enough to get out of it aren't anyone you would want to be judged by!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/5/2018 3:32:44 PM

there's no such thing as a guy being better looking than a gal universally speaking (or vice versa), then you'd see guys in great shape, stylish (wait, isn't that subjective too?), going after 300lb gals with teeth problems just as much as the gal who could be a clothing magazine model. Hey, different strokes for different folks! Just roll the dice, right? Nobody's Hot, nobody's Ugly! Hot Jack will find 300lb Ugly Martha very very attractive, and isn't into gals who could pass for models in any magazine, while Gimpy Greg only settles for models, and he gets them because it's just random whether models like Gimpy Greg or not! ;)


I agree with you mostly. However that is why I specifically said "gal out of guys league". I am no feminist and I realize there is an absolute truth were most men differ than most women. A truth that anybody can replicate in an experiment.
First we have to accept the fact that most men are more homogeneous in what we find attractive .You and me and 5 other guys on this forum can go get together and we will probably ALL agree which women we find attractive .Our placement of "said" women might be different based on our own subjective tastes.

On the other hand go put 5 women who are strangers in the same situation and in most cases they will have disagreements. You will have gals think some guys are attractive that their own close friends would find unattractive. These experiments have been done enough time to be documented as showing similar outcomes.
Take a group of mix foreign men and similar results will come true. I actually in real life have been in foreign countries where I worked with guys from different cultures(Italy, France, Germany,Russia) and we would mostly agree on who is "date-able" with various preferences due to taste.
In this same situation , it is ALL over the place when it comes to women. Heck I could point out a country with 75 million women who mostly don't understand why Brad Pitt is attractive to women in the Anglo countries. The agreement they hve will be those at very top and those at very bottom with the top being promoted by media and bottom being well.... you know.
I can't agree fully with you.To do so I will have to ignore my vast experiences, and those of my comrades, and forget all the courses I took in social relations and "attraction" while pursuing my BS/MS in Psychology :)

I agree with you about how my life might be miserable if I lived in a town with not many attractive women when I was dating . Now you see why some guys are willing to spend 3k monthly for a studio ;)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 405 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 10/5/2018 1:59:30 PM

I couldn't get a sears credit card unless he cosigned.

That makes sense. They generally give credit to those that have a stable job.

I did the same job as a man in my office and he got paid more because "he had a family to support."

Ok and in the uniform services(fire, police) I did 10x more of the REAL work that we are sworn to do because the women generally didn't perform equally. In the academy they get away with doing "half push ups" and a lot of them figure out they can stay 2 yrs inside for each kid they have. Some have 3 kids and then end up avoiding hitting the streets for their whole career and get the same salary. Visit any police HQ and see the higher % of women officers with cushy jobs.

As for the more pay to support a family, now BOTH genders get paid less based on real wages( inflation factoring) because more labor available means less pay. Pure supply and demand. Now everyone is EQUALLY pissed off.

My brother said he hated hiring women at his big 4 accounting firm because he said they often cried when he had to fire them. He never had a man do that. He told me he should be paid extra for dealing with that shit. Lets take the doors off the women toilets as often you find in a men's room. Trust me you don't want everything equal.

It wasn't until 1973 that woman in all states could serve on juries.

That's good. I have spent the last 2 decades ducking jury duty. So have MOST men that I know. Your welcome to take my place next time.


I don't see any laws limiting what men are allowed or not allowed
to do with their bodies.


Look up man-spreading . Although not a legal (yet)issue there is a group of chicks going around spraying bleach on guys crotches on public transportation.

That's what equal rights are...and it took until the 70's for women to
be able to do what men were born allowed to do.

Congratulations, you get to rise early in the morning to go to a 50 hr work week and return home to eat bon bons with Maggie Bundy. There is progress for you!
Women didn't get these rights without ****ing about it or advocating for it.

Nations didn't become democratic and free without men(and some women) rising up against their tyrants. It was about time you did it , but with no risk of be headings.


What was the last thing a man had to fight for?

Wars, apparently competing in online dating, dress down Fridays(women dress down every day), custody court ,you name it.


The major problem with abortion is that women have all the power. What's stopping women from tricking men into getting pregnant and having total control over whether that baby is born or not? A woman could poke holes in the condom, lie about birth control among other things.


Well said. There is also women who actually try to get pregnant with sperm that wasn't inside them. Not sure how effective that is but I seen many reports /accusations of it. I am not a fertility doctor but that should be a crime regardless of how successful that is or not.

In conclusion: lets keep this thread non political..how about it? The people who aren't feminists or believe in equal rights don't wanna hear it and the ones who are know which arena to fight in and this here isn't the place for it. Now if it is date related , please by all means! :)

Disclaimer: even if I was a feminist I would say the above, wrong time and place. What does it have to do with nice guys finishing last?
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/5/2018 5:57:33 AM

Exaggeration, but most women can understandably look at it that way about "most" guys compared to their pickiness to sleep with someone. Women have it easier than men.


I hold it mostly to be true. Not 24/7 but if most guys are horny enough.

True. But she doesn't have to be So "special" to have the desire to go out with her again, at least.

Go out sure, have sex great. That isn't an exclusive relationship though. It take a lot more than JUST a physical attraction to get in a LTR relationship with a girl IMO.


Getting a gal out of your league Can make a guy shift gears into going-steady mode and more, even without any notably good attributes outside her looks.

I think that is more the ego "trophy wife" phenomena. Like you said , the relationship most likely won't last. That being said, as I said before, and I will huff and puff like the big bad wolf and say for the last time. There isn't SUCH a thing as a gal being out of a guys league. Different strokes for different folks. After a certain age when their friends stop influencing them you can see their differing tastes. Problem is younger guys always have to deal with herd mentality and the mother hen c#$%blockers.


I don't think it has to do with confidence on the unfulfilling sex part. It's just that guys who Don't get sexual situations often will find what would otherwise not be that fulfilling, fulfilling. And they'll also be more apt to stick with a gal just for looks when there's no other "pull"... but you get them good looking enough, a guy who's not lacking confidence in general will stick just for looks, if the other attributes aren't Bad. I think it more depends more on how well they feast in the dating game

Agreed. I am not one for political correctness but I was being polite, as you god damn know it! If Pig was here he say it differently. I didn't want to say "unsuccessful desperate "men so I said "confident " men. But for me the situation described that I was commenting on screams desperate. But again, we are from different locations(USA VS CANADA) and the guys he observes might have a whole different caliber of game than those I swooped with. Our attitude was there wasn't a scarcity of very attractive women so we operate accordingly. But in my location I can stand on a street corner at 6 am in the morning and see in a 5 minute period more attractive women walking by
me than he probably sees in a whole month in his location. That fact really changes a guys view long term.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/4/2018 12:56:55 PM
@ComaTrue except that is not we mean as "chemistry". Just like women feel "chemistry" we men often have the same thing IN A WAY. What your talking about is just superficial attraction ,that isn't chemistry. If chemistry was based on how you describe it then it would ALL mean men have "chemistry" with every women on the planet that they find physically attractive. That makes little sense. Hre I come Cindy Crawford. I find you HOT and want to sleep with you because we have Chemistry! (Cindy calls the cops on me)

Of course men want sex with women they are physically attracted to, no one will ever dispute it. However, just because I have sex with a women doesn't mean I want a relationship with her and feel she is "special".If she is very physically attractive in my eyes will be a good ego boost perhaps but that isn't going to make me want to be with her as the "special" person in my life. Very few confident men will stay together with a gal where the sex was unfulfilling or just for looks. That is nonsense.

No offense Coma but the way you describe seems the behavior of non confident men who think getting a physically attractive women is some kind of big win that won't happen again. If that is how it works in your city with the guys you know perhaps you need to move someplace where there is an abundance of attractive women and then you might find things work a bit different or get new wing-men :)

Seriously ,I don't know ANY adult men who will get into a relationship with any women just because she looks good. He might want to see her again as a Frack buddy though but a LTR isn't coming out of that without having feelings for her.


Usually a guy is just sleeping with a girl he's not physically attracted to out of convenience.


Again I don't see this behavior with adults often... are your wing men really late 30'S?( raises eyebrow). When your young maybe. We had a thing called hogging but the "boys" who indulged in that were the guys who weren't that successful. That being said, it proved the point of "giving it up early". I had a few friends, better than average who ended up in relationship with women who were less of a "looker" than the male was. Why? because they "felt something" during sex and the sex was good and they treated the guys right. That discredits your theory!
Just because most men will sleep with any and all women if they are desperate doesn't mean that most men are desperate to let that happen 24/7.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 118 (view)
 
What things turn people off when viewing profiles pics?
Posted: 10/3/2018 4:38:39 PM
^^^^^
pepe le pew?
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 10/3/2018 4:34:24 PM

Sex is almost a pre-requisite now of a relationship.

Well of course. A relationship without sex is friendship. I have friends!


The older ladies on this site basically jumped down my throat and said I need psych help for thinking so but I stand by my theory.

Don't listen to them all the time. There is a great difference between what is said and actions.. A great majority of women say they won't kiss or sleep with a guy on 1st date but reality is often those same women have done it or will do it if they like the guy.



Most women I know who found a relationship online slept with the guy early on. So it doesn't mean you are guaranteed a relationship by sleeping with someone, far from it actually, but there is a slim chance you will find a guy online these days that will want a relationship before they have sex.


Makes perfect sense. Listen, basically a common denominator for almost every LTR out there in the modern world is that the couple had sex. Without it they wouldn't have formed a couple.

A common denominator of a man and women that don't have sex is that most likely they will not be in a relationship and are not in one.

Also for men chemistry often means sexual compatibility. In "Ask a guy", constantly women feel used that after sex the man disappears. I always said they just don't get it. The man didn't get turned off that the women is easy(we like sex and those who have it with us after all). What often likely happens is the guy just doesn't feel the "chemistry". But we don't know this until after sex. Up until sex it is all an attraction based on looks fueled by personality.

After sex it becomes emotional. Now this is how it is with people I know. Imagine if all guys went for sexual compatibility. In that situation ALL women would be foolish to wait too long to have sex since the longer the wait the more the disappointment can come from it if the chemistry isn't there.

*This is excluding religious people who wait close to marriage.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Why is finding a date a top priority?
Posted: 10/3/2018 4:14:24 PM

No, there's mutual benefits to both individuals. Living in a dual-income household is also much easier than living singly. Marriage is not just domestic servitude

Apples and oranges since your in Canada and many of us in USA. In USA medical and dental benefits is a reason people partner up with. In addition our joint income taxes is lower when married. Not sure how that works in Canada but if it is like many of the "socialist EU " countries I suspect there is a marriage penalty.
Also I repeat in some(all?) states here we have domestic partnerships so people can be officially legal partners and live together and share medical/dental benefits. That is a big motivation. You get most of the benefits of marriage except the tax advantage. Although being retired I don't have to worry about it, income becoming marital property for most working guys it is a big concern. Therefore, most are better not married. Here it if often used to get benefits. In Canada, I have no clue as to the actual benefits of being married. From all the divorce guys from Canada I have met hiding out in foreign countries, I suspect not much :).

The Golden girls figured it all out!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Why is finding a date a top priority?
Posted: 10/2/2018 3:29:28 PM

Dating is not a priority, it's a hobby.......and I have lots of hobbies.

I think the outcomes of dating sex, intimacy all come together to help one enjoy their hobbies much more. If you look at the activities most men have traditionally done for fun you will notice a common theme of "woman chasing"(or gawking) being at the center. Men go to sport balls to look at the game and look and talk to women there while often looking at cheerleaders. Men travel with buddies so they can get drunk on the beach hooking up with bikini clad women. When you look at most hobbies men have there seems to be chasing women mixed in there somewhere.
Even the geeks playing those large multiplayer online games are chasing women. Comic books= women. Most male hobbies have women chasing in it so why shouldn't spending time with women be at top of the list in supporting ones hobby?


what? some people would call that a ball and chain! There's advantages to having a family and advantages to not having a family. I say be happy with your life. Happiness is a decision.


That's how I feel about cats. Seriously , with domestic partner recognition there aren't that many advantages to marriage anymore except maybe the tax break. It was good 1st time around but a guy can get the same advantages without the responsibilities.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 9/30/2018 10:01:12 AM
Ok , You have cleard a few things up. I see where you are coming from. Just realize that the "average NYer " isn't living in a Central Park penthouse and probably has much less disposable income than your social circle. Most large metro area have an extreme amount of wealthy and also an extreme amount of poor. The large middle class actually suffers often due to high cost of living. Therefore, the majority of people don't fit the snob stereotype
Hell, we even have the Manhattan vs Brooklyn snobs. You ever seen the episode of Sex and the City, where those obnoxious gals were complaining that they had to visit relatives in Brooklyn like BK was a 3rd world country. In reality some places in Brooklyn command a higher rent than Manhattan these days.
Point is snobs are snobs no matter where they are.


Most gals from the Midwest or South would reject an arrogant northeast city slicker. If he had actual high social consciousness and could tell how not to behave, he might do okay. One gal I met from Manhattan said her circle of people in NY would "adore" me, though perhaps that was patronizing, and I wouldn't assume she was a typical New Yorker (she lived on Central Park West and her parents had put her in a boarding school).

Maybe if he was ARROGANT. But they would reject an arrogant southerner just as fast , I hope. However, if he is a polished ,**** , fast talking NYer like Don Draper from Mad Men, I suspect not. As I always say..attraction tends to beat everything else. In really small towns a lot of the choices that are made are based on "sheep" mentality social circle, therefore a Northerner might be rejected just because she doesn't want to be the odd nail hanging out.

At one job, my boss' boss was a transient from LA who (typical of transients from LA, NY, and Chicago who choose to move to my metro area) went on and on about how terrible my area is and how so much better things were back in California.

Well that is his opinion. Let him go back to his daily 3hr traffic jam lol
One complaint in the sparser areas is most people seem to be taken already; this implies a high percentage of the smaller cities do well because they found someone.
Well there you go. Obvious people tend to get in LTR much earlier in smaller towns. But we are talking about online dating here so lets stick with that. I do look where people are from when they post and it is usually the non mega cities where they complain the most if they are over 25. Younger people complain from everywhere. The Midwest seems to be the hardest for guys btw and my own experiment proved it to be so for me too. But I could just maybe not be their type there? who knows?(obviously I had no issues in Chicago) I will address your squeaky wheels comment at the end and tell you a bit about my experience.

Too bad more people from the coasts don't disable the "use my current GPS location" on their swipe accounts when they fly over the interior of the US. Would save me the trouble of swiping no on them.

Agreed HAHAHa. I had it worst. I live 7 miles from the busiest International AP in North America. On Tinder , a match could be 4k miles away before a response.

As for the transient comment. Something to bring up. The big cities are made up of a large population from the smaller cities and Midwest in general. A new breed is the liberals who come to settle in NYC and live on their dads trust fund account. We like them NO better than you do. They mostly supported Bernie Sanders.

it could be you got attention as a result of the profile standing out, plus the benefits of being a "new user" in those markets.

Indeed true. That is why I keep telling people to spend more time on their profile. I get messages from women from other states and countries all the time and no the foreign women aren't scammers like Danial said. Here foreign women actually come to live/work and study. My partner atm(over 3 yrs) is from Brazil and there is a funny story behind it. She sent me a message right after I got a message from a friend of hers who was actually in Brazil at the time. I guess because of distance she lead her friend to check me out.
The reason I did the experiment was:
1. bored
2. That's what I do, I try to figure online dating out(i was hooked up at that time and had permission)
3. A guy named HAWKINGJR and this other engineer guy from NC who kept saying all women are married in the small town he lived in. It didn't make sense what they were saying or the choices they were making so I decided to take myself on around the country tour. Like you said, unless I stay for months I will never know if my responses would peter out or not but I picked big cities so that wouldn't matter. The only small town I picked was in NC. Rest were regional big cities.

Not sure it is right to post my outcomes from my experiment online here since it might offend some since it looks like I was maybe playing the field.
 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 9/29/2018 2:19:55 PM

People in small towns seem to have superior social skills while people in rich high-density metro areas (who are snobby and think they're better than the "deplorable" people from smaller areas) are socially clueless.


What you said might be true if you consider superior social skills to be talking to ones mom, pop , and 10 cousins and flipper the Dolphin :). Seriously, that comment is so flawed I didn't respond to it initially, and you should at least say "IMHO" with such a bold statement.

It is generally accepted as fact that the big city guys have better "game" than the other side. The PUA movement started in Toronto because the "guys" figured out the social dynamics. Both women and men interact with such a large amount of people that they have superior social intelligence.
In a global international city like NYC, London, or Paris the social intelligence is magnified because citizens are dealing with multi-language and multicultural denizens alike. Don't mistake their lack of time , which can come across as a lack of manners, to mean they are less social. There is a reason we have a last call at 4am, while the rest of country last call is at midnight ;)

In addition, if you read tourist reports, NYers are actually pretty friendly and helpful. That is one of the reasons it is among the top tourist locations in the world. The service is second to none.

Last point, although I might be despised,scoundrel that I am, some of the NICEST, most social intelligent forum members have come from or live in big cities. Eric and KJ were both from NYC metro area at one time. Henry from Houston. Cowboy from Dallas. The list goes on. All of them IMHO had superior profiles than the avg member.



Remember a city boy can do much better in Missouri than someone will do in NYC. I would bet my life on that!(actually my experiment across the country on POF yrs ago proved that point for myself at least)

Read the below link:
https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2010/11/the-social-advantage-of-large-cities/66980/


Meanwhile, posters from the smallest towns post about getting lots of attention both online and in real life, and going on dates.
They do? Most forum men from small cities complain. The women do better in the small cities from what I remember.



(who are snobby and think they're better than the "deplorable" people from smaller areas)

Ahh, gotcha. You revealed the truth. You have a confidence ego issue and the above statement proves it. THAT IS YOUR ISSUE, NOT the big city boys/girls. Truth is they don't deplore you at all. They don't think about you. They don't think your worst or better. As for snobs, snobbery tends to be based on socioeconomic class in this country. Ironically , you can actually see it often in small towns. NYC , for example, has been stated to be a city where billionaires ride the subway and eat hotdogs in Papaya king chatting up construction workers.
 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Ok so I'm popular but can't get dates. Why??????????
Posted: 9/29/2018 12:17:58 PM
Well OP, we are neighbors. As Captain America said "".just a kid from Brooklyn"!

Anyway don't worry about it. NYC is a very rough online dating environment. People have so many other opportunities that they don't take it serious(meetup, bars, streets, public tran). Tinder probably works better here since it is "quick" and "now". Also there are more single women apparently than men so you might have more competition. Most cities it is the opposite. Perhaps hit the suburbs?

"Try setting a minimum word limit for messages then the guys who are lazy and just want sex will be weeded out lol"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Here most guys wants sex. Actually most women want it to. Tinder is the most popular service in this city. It was made for the logistics of a hook up culture. Being lazy isn't it people just are less generous with their time.

"Yet NY women regularly whine they have no options. Volcano from the LA area made many such posts (LA has countless people and a shortage of straight men). When people offered Volcano logical suggestions, she shot down them all, making rationalizations such as traffic time not allowing anyone who lived more than a few miles away. Meanwhile, posters from the smallest towns post about getting lots of attention both online and in real life, and going on dates. "

Part of their whining is due to pickiness. Plenty of men but they are seeking the models, dancers, hot immigrants, etc.
As for Volcano, she was actually incorrect from what my male friends told me. LA is a women's paradise, at least those under 40. She was competing with the want to be actresses.

I have friends that were good looking professionals(lawyers,etc) and they had a hard time in LA and when they saw how NYC was much easier they moved out here. Problem is LA women are similar to NY women but tended to be less educated and more showy(from my online experiment). The guys always complained that they had to drive very nice cars, nice clothing and have a friend list of famous people to do well . Just ask Clooney . San Fran is the city where women have it hard in CA, not LA because of GAys. NYC it is equal in that matter since Brooklyn has or had the highest Lesbian population.
In NYC the women are often lonely(moved from other places), more assertive, and want to hook up since they moved from their small towns and want indulge in the culture of freedom. In addition cohabitation is needed since most can't afford the rent.

"Meanwhile, posters from the smallest towns post about getting lots of attention both online and in real life, and going on dates. "
Suburbs favor women in America IMO. Men have less choices it seems from what posters have said. I mean men also are competing with the filthy rich in the city and male models but like you said many are gay and just plain dumb! The biggest advantage city guys have online is the increased assertiveness of the women mean less work guys have to do.



 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What’s the deal with hey there messages?
Posted: 9/29/2018 6:59:37 AM
I don't see anything wrong with them . I used to send "hi there ;)". It is pinging for mutual interest. In an ideal world men get that button as well. It is faster than spelling out wink and flips hair.
As someone said there are a lot of scammers out there but they have better tactics than that.
 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/28/2018 4:00:35 PM

And you, Miss Spot, are a fine southern lady!

On that note, I grew up hearing misery loves company . I ended up learning crazy has company!

Yours truly,
Joey, me, myself, and I
 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 114 (view)
 
Why do women include pics of pets?
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:54:08 PM
My kittens are beautiful. I would rather look at them than most 2 legged animals.
 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 61 (view)
 
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:51:06 PM
^^^^^YO RED!!!!
 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/28/2018 3:32:50 PM
@Hemingway: Thanks bud, you are a gentleman!

I generally do make the effort to write a message using things off they're profile if it's got something on it I can use as a conversation starter and end it by saying I'd like to get to know them better. The problem is that most women don't reply to those messages, so I understand why guys go with the generic approach. I think it's a waste of time, spending ten minutes coming up with a good first message that is about taking interest in that person only for it go ignored and unanswered. So it's understandable why guys don't put in any effort. They've tried that and didn't get anywhere, so now they're taking the easy route.


Exactly correct! Not only a big waste of time, in general, but the rejection probably stings more since so much effort was made. Some idealists don't wanna hear it, but it is really a numbers game for guys. Always has been even before internet dating. 10 minute messages will just leave one with less prospects.

But that isn't the worst thing. Worst thing is the "TIME VAMPIRES". If you write a really great message a women might just string you along for the entertainment or to be polite. When you send the most basic message you get the satisfaction that she really must be interested since she didn't run away!

That being said, much better time management to make a great profile since you will use it over and over.

Tip: be very descriptive. The burger doesn't taste good. The burger is juicy and mouth watering delicious. Sometimes it is just the way we use the words!
 Adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Should i delete most of my pics?
Posted: 9/28/2018 7:03:59 AM

Are the messages worth a darn? Not usually. Lots of quantity and very little quality.

Miss Spot I am inclined to agree with you. Even if a guy sends a really good message and gets a reply it may not mean much because she might not actually be thrilled with him about anything past that 1st message.
I did do the experiments:
If a well thought out message gave me a reply rate of 35%(it is the toughest market in internet dating so give me some slack here) and a "Hi There :)"gave me a 28% reply rate. Since it is 5x quicker to send the " Hi there :)", working smarter says don't waste time with messages. Even a "Wow, nice lips" will work sometimes when sincere and to the right lady.


Profile content is moot.

I agree partly with that statement. I believe it close to 100% that it doesn't matter much what women say in profile BUT an interesting profile will lead to better chats.
For men the GOOD news is a profile can make a difference. Not sure in response rates how it plays out but in having women initiate it matters IMO. Women often will start the ball rolling if they really enjoyed your profile. They won't do it just for pictures nearly as often(the top 10% those elusive creatures might say otherwise).

I tried the boring "resume" type profile. Didn't get that many attractive women initiating and when they did it was just the typical "I like your pic bs stuff".

Tried the "lets use my profession/uniform to try get girls approach(GET LAID?Nah that is wrong :)". Sure I got the badge bunny groupies who cruise my area and it is an ego boost to boot since they tend to be VERY young(no age censorship back then). But I got a HELL a lot of haters initiating just to say " All____ are do%ch#B#g(live in a liberal city). I swear for every admirer I got stalked by haters trying to take out their sad life on me. I was stressed out LOL. Should have went FD, less haters.

Then I tried the non serious, emotional type profiles. WOW, I couldn't believe it. I could say anything. Be a nut job, be sexist, it didn't really matter what I said as long as "I didn't give a hoot". It got to the point where I never sent a greeting message again. Didn't need to at all. Way more than I could handle(largest metro area in the Western world which means everything is compounded..both success and failure). Women would write me saying " I never thought I would send someone a message 1st" and a score of different versions of that message. Heck they were saying things that men are warned not to send lol.

It was a learning experience but I conferred with others that had similar profiles like Cowboy(RIP)..they had similar results. Sadly most guys still listen to Markus(pof owner) on how to write a good profile and worst they listen to what other women tell them. Women who don't attract other hetero women!

Be daring!
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Lack of effort/common sense in profiles
Posted: 9/27/2018 1:03:06 PM
Sadly , it is more supply and demand than anything else. Due to ratio's and "thirst" men have to put much more effort in general than women. I don't look down on a women who gets a lot of messages by her lack of profile effort. Why should she? Working smart more valuable than working harder.

That being said, I disagree with Henry a bit. I think he has figured it out better than most. For example he knows being in a large metro area is an advantage for men, have decent pics, etc. But a GOOD well written interesting profile is probably the best investment of effort that a guy can make. Just good photo's will get men only so far and the type of women who would just go for photo's isn't going to have the attention span needed to form a successful LTR. After all , there will always be better photo's just around the bend, maybe!

This isn't meant bout any forum member specifically but many men who think they are putting the proper effort in writing their profiles aren't writing it based on what would actually interest a women to read it and respond. The typical "resume"-"interview" profile has ONE very limiting factor about it...(wait for it!)..it is utterly and completely boring and doesn't help form an attraction. Women will respond favorably if they feel attracted to you. They want to know what type of nut job you are and what stimulates you. They really don't respond to profiles about the fact you have 2 brothers, a dog, a job and your occupation and how you wanna a relationship. Sure they say they do but emotionally
it isn't stimulating and tickling those emotions is much more important. I say this because I see plenty of articulate, charming posters who could really do much better if they would stop the resume type profiles.
Once they figure that out they might be surprised that the hunter has become the hunted!

P.S. -men with little babies in photo's or babies mentioned in profiles actually can come across creepy to women(you know who you are lol).
P.S. # 2- When you stop the resume type profiles you can really have fun because women will have a lot to talk to you about. Women profiles that are sassy and fun also are a delight.

Those of you might remember when I had this really bad profile displayed that was a satire of me being a completely sexist misogynistic **stard. Here is a little secret...I had more women initiating with me , than any other profile I used , who totally loved it and couldn't decide if I was for real or not, but they didn't care! More your profile drags them into it, the more attachment that is formed. Attachment increases chance of attraction. I took it down due to too many death threats..LOLOLL
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 266 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/14/2018 4:02:34 PM

Generally, as looks go up, so does maintenance. I'm both ugly and high maintenance, so the best of both worlds!

Nothing wrong with high maintenance(I prefer it actually), as long as it is on her own dime and time!

Lil Red, you know it. My trip to grandma's became more like something similar to the movie "Misery" but I did find out what happened to Goldilocks. So sad :(

Do nice guys finish last?
No way. That would imply they are actually competitors in the event, and they aren't. They are often on the sidelines inside their own head which isn't attractive to many. Be a "GOOD " guy, NOT a nice guy. Being a stereotypical nice guy often includes a lot of unattractive baggage(inside own head, resentment,timid, insecurity,etc). The stereotypical "bad boy" doesn't have the baggage as much . Usually they live in the moment and don't give a f#C^. Apparently this is appealing to many.

Disclaimer: I am not a nice guy or a bad boy but I am the guy most women mother's have warned them about and that has worked for me!The forbidden fruit is sweet.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 241 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/13/2018 3:27:35 PM

hello there your highness ;)
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 238 (view)
 
Do nice guys finish last?
Posted: 9/13/2018 3:03:54 PM

I’m going to confess to once making a fake tinder account where i used a photo of some muscular guy off google. I got about 20 matches in a day and i talked to the women like they were sex objects.


But isn't tinder mostly about hook ups? I am sooooo confused. I would think the sex object thingy important on a site about hook ups.
 
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