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 Author Thread: young fathers with older kids?
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
young fathers with older kids?
Posted: 10/18/2009 4:17:58 PM
Wouldn't bother me at all.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why do girls block?
Posted: 10/15/2009 5:53:12 PM
I didn't even know you could block a person on here! Guess I need to go check that one out. :)
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Question about Insurance
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:55:13 PM
Be careful if you have to pay for anything up front for your son and then they bill the insurance for you. I have done that for a LARGE amount and they send the check to the ex who kept the check! :(
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Not The Momma
Posted: 10/15/2009 4:51:29 PM
i use to start with 10 minutes and then increase by 5 if they kept it up once let out. Rarely did it go past 30 no matter what age.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Single parents and casual sex
Posted: 10/14/2009 4:12:20 PM
I agree with much of what widowsdesire says but I am a realist who know teens are going to have sex. They have been for many many years and nothing we do is going to stop them.

My children know I date and they might even know that I have had sex before. haha But it isn't something that is openly discussed.

I am open and try to be honest with the teens. If they ask a question I try to always answer. Once one of them asked something very personal about sex and I asked them if they REALLY REALLY wanted to know the answer. haha They didn't. ;) But if they had I would not have lied.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
When Sex is on Your Mind..
Posted: 10/4/2009 3:48:36 PM
Nope, never on POF or anywhere online.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What do you do when a guy uses your date pics as new profile pics
Posted: 10/1/2009 6:58:55 PM
If the photos only show him in them then what is the big deal if he uses them?

You do not want him anymore so why should it matter what they might of meant to you at the time? You should be happy you dont have to deal with him anymore if he is as bad as you say and just move on.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Are most single moms looking for a guy to care for them financially?
Posted: 9/30/2009 5:15:14 PM
I don't know about others but I take care of myself and my family' I expect the man to be able to take care of himself. Anything beyond that is just gravy. :)
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Waste of time?
Posted: 9/29/2009 6:17:21 PM
Take the chance!!!
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
School Theft
Posted: 9/27/2009 2:22:25 PM

A book is a book, they are not expensive.. so why moan about it.


Some books are very expensive. My 8 year olds have math books that are $65 a piece. Not something I would want to have to replace.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do your children tell you more than you told your parents?
Posted: 9/27/2009 1:53:06 PM
My older 2 talk to me about anything and everything. At times it takes them a bit to bring up a subject(not often) but in the end they always do. Even when they know it isn't something I am thrilled about they do. No matter what it is I do not get upset but I do give a very honest opinion. Much of the time they do not like my view but by the time the conversation is over they understand exactly why I feel as I do. I also give them the chance to express their opinion and occasionally they change my view on a subject.

This is all very different then how I grew up. My mom would give her opinion but it often did not make sense to me.

Why is it so different for my children and I? Why do I feel I have a much more open relationship with my children then many of my counterparts?

Unconditional acceptance.

No matter what the topic, what they are doing, I will still love them and will not judge them too harshly. There have been times when I have had to put my foot down and I am sure there are plenty more to come, but they know that I will always do what I can for them and will not abandon them. They know I am the only one (other then my mom) they can count on. Family is extremely important and should always come first. They also know if I tell them not to do something and they do go ahead and do it, they will have to deal with the consequences that have already been spelled out for them.

As much as I want to be their friend I must be a mom first. I feel too many parents are scared their children wont like them, that they will leave them the moment they get the chance. I believe if you give your children the right foundation that chances are after they spread their wings a bit they will come back more independent then ever.

No one can predict with completel certainty that our children will turn out to be good people but with the right foundation and some prayers there is great hope they will. Open communication is only the start.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
New Feature: I viewed
Posted: 9/26/2009 3:19:31 PM
they seem to of changed the Who Viewed Me section too. Now they are all jumbled and not in order of who last viewed you. This is very confusing.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
AGE DIFFERENCE?
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:47:29 PM
No it isnt too large.
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Single parents, are they abusing the welfare system?
Posted: 9/21/2009 5:00:14 PM
As someone that does the hiring for the place I work at, I see quite a few people "act" as if they want a job while others tell you up from they are being told to get a job to keep getting assistance but really don't want to work right now. I also see those that would get more money staying at home then working but they WANT to work , they do NOT want to be on government assistance any longer then necessary.

What I find personally annoying are the ones that will take a job just so they can work a couple weeks to show their case worker they are "trying" but it doesn't ever work out. I have bent over back-wards for people just to have them disappear after their first paycheck. What a waste the time spent training them. :(

I once ran into a person a few months after they disappeared, he was very up front in what he had done and said sorry but it was obvious he wasn't. He was once again looking for a job and tried to charm me. Not going to happen!
 short_momma
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Ex getting worse over time....
Posted: 9/16/2009 3:49:49 PM
I could have written this! Tried to write to you but your preferences wouldn't allow it.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Experiences with cuddle guys
Posted: 9/8/2009 7:11:45 PM
When I see men post in profiles that they are cuddlers or like to show affections and such it tells me they might not have had much of that in their previous relationship and want to be upfront that they do want and expect it in the next.

Why can't it be as simple as that? They want all potential dates/relationships to understand that showing affection IS VERY important to them.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is being added as a favorite an invitation to e-mail?
Posted: 9/1/2009 5:30:23 PM
Yes, it is an invite to email........for me at least. Sometimes I put a person on favorites and do not have time to email them at the moment or even to see if they will email me. Silly I know, but I am being honest. :) Sometimes I put someone on favorite and forget for a while that I did it and then feel silly for not having msgd them and don't do it at all. OOps!
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Would You?
Posted: 8/30/2009 6:15:44 AM
What do you mean when you said you "talked"? On the phone, text, email, IM? If not on the phone or in person then she really didn't give it a chance. I don't see how any one can say there is absolutely no chemistry through just having a typed conversation.

I love to text and email though I don't really like IM. (no idea why) but I find that words can be misconstrued through these forms of communication. The emotion isn't behind the typed words. No lil laughs, no grins for the person to hear or see. If I relied on only typed words there would be many I would never communicate with again and I am speaking of my every day friends. haha
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
The Night that Didn't End so Well.
Posted: 8/30/2009 5:57:48 AM
Everyone has a bad day/night. What she did sounds a bit self-absorbed but was it the only time she has ever done it? Do you like her enough to ignore the night and keep going to see how things turn out? If she does it again then I say you most likely need to be looking for another girl. But as I said, everyone has off nights.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Is having a car really THAT incredibly important?
Posted: 8/27/2009 5:05:00 PM
I can't imagine dating someone without a car but then I live in Maine. haha Everyone NEEDS a car here. :)
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
sex drive in women over 40
Posted: 8/26/2009 2:59:33 PM
It gets stronger after 35 and keeps going up. :) Not sure when it peaks but I do have friends in their 50s who say theirs is decreasing. Hope mine doesn't! haha
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Do parents teach their teens about sex?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:33:12 PM
My teens and I are fairly open about sex. I don't discuss my sex life but let them ask me what they want in general terms. If they have direct questions I try very hard to answer them honestly. My mom was the same way but she was a bit outdated. haha But I had an older sister that shared WAY WAY too much info.

I think teens need to hear honest answers but I also think they don't need to hear answers to questions they aren't asking. If they want to know, they will ask! At least mine do. Even their friends like to get into discussions. They want the facts, not some fairy tale.

Though I must add that a few months back my teen daughter asked a direct question. I hesitated and then responded with "do you REALLY want an answer to that question because I am prepared to answer but I dont think you do want to know THAT much about me". HaHa Her face turned beat red and she agreed she really didnt want to know. :)
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
tell tale signs in profiles
Posted: 8/12/2009 7:26:32 AM
1. The profiles that talk about how he wants a women with a positive attitude but his page is 100% negative.

2. Profiles that say "i want a woman that doesn't cheat, unlike my ex"; "I treated my ex with respect and love though she never did show me the same"; "I dislike smoking though my ex smoked" Get the hint on what is bad about this type of profile and why it might send up a red flag?
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Second Date
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:06:24 AM
I always like it when a man calls me on his way home or after he gets home from the first date to tell me he had a good time. (hopefully a good time) And if he wants to ask me out again that is a good time to bring it up.

Also, if he wants me to call or text him, then he should say then that he would love to hear from me whenever I want to contact him.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
For A Girl
Posted: 8/12/2009 6:00:01 AM


1) do you consider a guy that doesn't like going down on you a deal breaker?
2) How much dose sex mean to you in a relationship? like if it sucks the relationship sucks...
3) What is the one thing you wish every guy had ?
4) and lastly if a girl puts out the first date is all she looking for is sex and has no real interest in a relationship? Or is it that she just really likes you?


1. Maybe not a deal breaker but if he wants me to go down on him then I think he should reciprocate.

2. It's more then just sex. Good sex is important in a relationship but it might not be there at the start, if a guy is as willing as I am to be open and listen to my "wants/needs" then I am willing to give it time to see if the great hot amazing sex comes. :) But I will never ever stay in another relationship where the sex stinks. Sexual intimacy is very important in a relationship.

3. Good communication skills or at least the willingness to try to communicate.

4. Putting out on the first date doesn't have to mean anything more then you both really wanted it. It can mean many things just as waiting 2 months can mean many things or nothing at all. I never judge anything/anyone by first dates unless it is a really outrageous moment/incident.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is being shy that big of a turn-off?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:46:47 AM
The only time being shy can get in the way is if you don't talk during a conversation and leave it up to the other side to do most the talking or ask the questions. One sided conversations are NOT good and it drives people away.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
So, is it acceptable to have guy friends?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:38:14 AM
I have 3 very best friends that I communicate with on almost a daily basis (and lots more great friends). One of the very best friends is male. He and I dated briefly but it did not work in a romantic way. We are truly meant to be best friends the same as I am with my 2 female best friends. I will not dump his friendship over a relationship/lover. Though when dating someone we don't see each other half as much (same with my 2 female friends) I make it very plain that we will always be friends and if another male has a problem with it then we aren't meant to be together.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Persistent Lady
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:33:35 AM
Keep ignoring them. You were very open and upfront that you are not interested in her. She will eventually find someone else to giver her attention/texts to.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Should I go out with a guy 16 years younger?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:07:52 AM
Why not go for it? Just chat him for a bit and decide if you are comfortable with the age difference. You and he are the only 2 that matter in this question. :) Good luck!

Seems a bit odd that a male posted almost the same question ......................
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Single moms and pictures of their kids on profile
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:56:03 AM
Though I am single person with children I mention it on this site only because I want to be sure any potential date would know my children pretty much always come first but would never post pictures of my children. This is an adult site and in my opinion should only have pictures of adults. I do have pictures of my family on sites like facebook or myspace. Those are places I chat with friends and family and am not looking for a potential date.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:51:05 AM
I say go for it. The age difference isn't that bad as far as I am concerned but I have always been more attracted to men a bit older then me anyway. :)
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
is it cheating?
Posted: 6/28/2009 7:08:49 PM
I wouldn't tell his fiance but I would definitely have put him in his place. Drunk or not he would have gotten the message.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
He hits on other girls on dates
Posted: 3/7/2009 5:35:01 AM
I have an ex-boyfriend that use to flirt now and then with women when I was with him. Since I am very outgoing and talk to just about anyone, it never really bothered me.

We are still very good friends and the other day he stopped in at work to see me. While we were chatting the young cleaning girl went by and he immediately started flirting with her. We were literaly in mid sentence with each other and it was like I was not there when she came by. He is 58, she is almost 21. For the first time it really got to me. I said I had to get back to work and excused myself. The next day he called and I told him how much he had creeped out the girl and he couldnt seem to understand why. Have to admit I had a good laugh on him. I told him she asked if he was my father. (he is 18 years older then me) He said he was not hitting on her, but I pointed out if I thought he was and the girl said he was, then he WAS. I also pointed out he has always done this, when we were in a relationship and then after still today when we go out with each other. All he could say was "but I have always done that". haha He isnt a bad guy, I hope we are always friends. I just cant believe I was the first one to ever point it out to him before.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
If you can give me an opinion
Posted: 2/21/2009 8:03:58 AM
She must have really knocked your socks off last year for you to put up with this behavior yet again.

You really need to write her off and find someone that wants to be with you. You deserve that.

Good luck!
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Do I still call?
Posted: 1/24/2009 9:23:29 AM
I think you are really over thinking this when what you need to do is wait for her to return and see if maybe she and this guy patched things up. If you are all have the same friends in common, you will find out very soon what is up. There is a very real possibility that they will hook up on the trip.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 89 (view)
 
Do you feel comfortable dating someone who is separated
Posted: 1/10/2009 8:31:24 AM
I was separated and going thru the divorce for over 2 years. I thought I was ready to date and did date soon after separating but have found in the last year that I really wasn't ready. Not ready for a commitment with someone else anyway. At around the 2 year mark I think I was getting to the point of wanting more then dating, but since I am still single, maybe not. ;)

Dating a separated person is one thing, getting into a serious relationship is another. IMO
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Deafness
Posted: 1/4/2009 3:34:34 PM
My ex husband is hard of hearing. When I first noticed him I had no idea he was and no one told me he was until days before we first spoke with each other. He has a speech impediment but is fairly easy to understand. First time I saw him I just thought he was so HOT that I had to speak with him. After being told he was hard of hearing it didn't change how I felt nor did it change after we spoke the first time. I just had to repeat myself often till he got used to my speech pattern. By the end of our marriage I swear he could read my lips at a hundred yards easy. haha

So, back to your question.

YES, I would want to know, just so I didn't embarrass myself when first meeting. You are used to your lack of hearing and must pretty much take it in stride, but to some one that isn't use to it, they might mess up and feel silly.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Woman who have difficulty having an orgasm
Posted: 11/14/2008 2:09:16 PM
Definitely have her testosterone levels checked. You have described something I am very familiar with. If she has low levels of testosterone there is a cream the doctor can prescribe. After about 6 months my levels were fine as well as everything else.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
A hearts dilemma
Posted: 11/11/2008 3:46:05 AM
I went through this too.

By the time I separated from my husband I knew 100% it was what needed to be done. I have never looked back. I thought that meant I was ready to move on. Boy was I wrong! It is going on 3 years that I have been on my own. Sometime at the beginning of 2008 I felt different, my perspective on life changed and it hit me that I had NOT been ready to move on but felt that I now was. Even though I knew I was, I was still scared and unsure of things. Every time I met a really decent guy I would end up running, though at the time I didn't know that was what I was doing. I now understand what was going on and realize I am still a bit scared of a relationship, of losing who I have become(i like me) haha But I also believe if I meet the right man I will know it. Might take a bit but I will!

I always thought these things were suppose to get easier the older we became!!
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
For the men who masterbate often ....
Posted: 11/6/2008 5:32:27 PM
Why let it die? I actually found this post interesting and learned some thing I was curious about. Others might find it interesting also.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Should I call him again or wait it out
Posted: 11/4/2008 4:55:10 PM
Do not call him. Msg for Msg is plenty for someone you barely know. If I were him I might be thinking you a bit clingy.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
First date-then no contact from them
Posted: 10/22/2008 4:14:48 AM
I am so leery of this too. Not only have I had it happen to me but I have to admit I have done it to someone else.

The guy was so sweet and nice but there was ZERO attraction. All during the first meet I was hoping I would find something that would spark an interest but it just didn't happen. I didn't cut off all contact with him but it wasn't like it was before we met. :(

I have had what I thought were perfect first meets, the guy is as upbeat as I am, he talked about calling me the next day, meeting the next weekend, but I never heard from him again. Really odd.

Recently I have met a guy that the first meeting I stood him up, not on purpose and in fact I thought he stood me up. I sent him a msg stating I wasn't sure what happened, but no hard feelings, if he wanted to try for another day that was fine, but it was up to him. He sent me back a really nice msg, he had been there but thought I was a no show, we went back and forth till we realized I had the wrong time. Talk about feeling foolish! haha glad I had not sent him an angry msg. ;) We ended up meeting a couple days later. But while I was waiting I was sure he would not show. A few days later I was going out with friends and invited him along, he said yes. He was a no show. So I once again thought that he might be disappearing. Come to find out he hit a deer on the way to meet us. (happens all the time where i live) We have met up again since and msg each other a lot and plan on spending more time together. But I still keep waiting for him to just disappear. How sad is it that I and others feel like that? Maybe I feel more so with him because he is really coming across as a "keeper" and I might not want to toss him back.

People ending up as no shows or never contacting again without so much as a good bye has become such an accepted practice that most of the time we think nothing of it. To me, I think it is rude (even though i did it once also) and really should not happen.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
obligatory c0ck shots
Posted: 10/14/2008 6:14:23 PM
I haven't gotten a "c0ck shot" in years. Way back when I first started chatting online I would get them allot then I learned not to give out my email address or chat randomly on IM with people that just pop up. Or maybe it is the age group. Either way, I am glad it doesn't happen to me now. Only if I request one! ;) hahaha JOKE!!!
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
How to deal with unwanted advances
Posted: 10/12/2008 4:20:59 PM
I usually politely excuse myself saying I have to get back to my friends. I do remember one time this really obnoxious guy would not leave me alone; followed me everywhere. He kept trying to get into deep controversial discussions with me and I just would not take the bait. haha Finally I asked him to do me a favor. He said SURE. I said "please put me on ignore." and walked off to the bathroom. lol He was gone when I got back.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Strange things spoken during sex. Question for the ladies.
Posted: 8/10/2008 2:11:20 PM
One time during rather exhilarating sex I was asked if I was ok. He literally stopped what he was doing and said "are you ok?" I said "huh???" When I understood what he was asking I said "if you don't go back to what you were doing YOU wont be OK". HAHAHA Didn't we laugh over that!!!

I do think it is usually from concern, that the man thinks he is wearing us out or being too rough or something. Though it makes me want to giggle, it is sweet that they care enough to make sure all is OK.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Did you cum YET?
Posted: 7/17/2008 6:29:32 AM

Then there is the ultimate nightmare. I'm "working on her" for an extended period; my jaw is cramping, my hands are tired, etc. She's vocalizing, then gets really loud and maybe starts jerking a little, i.e. she's coming. I'm in pain, and roll over exhausted thinking she has just had a great orgasm. THEN I find out that she had only gotten really really close to a mind blowing orgasm; and I quit 10-15 seconds too early! Talk about feeling horrible! If she had just said, "Don't stop", or "I'm close."


This is what I find the most frustrating. Being sooooooooooooo close and my partner just stopping. After being with someone a few times and having had it happen more then once I have learned to say the DON'T STOP!

That scenario is understanding, but if the guy KNOWS you haven't cum but has had his jollies and doesn't bother making sure you finish, this is what I find upsetting.

I don't mind being asked the question, but he best be prepared for a honest answer and if the answer is NO, then make sure it ends up a YES.
But unfortunately it isn't always the case. I had a partner that would say" Oh, sorry, hopefully next time we can make it happen." HUH????????
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
friends with benefits
Posted: 7/13/2008 2:06:40 PM
Since I have been on my own (about 2.5 years) I have not been ready for a committed relationship, the thought of one scared me more then I wanted to admit. FWB gave me all I wanted at the time. Now I find I want more and will not settle for FWB.

So, IMO, FWB works but both people have to be in the same frame of mind. Right now if a male friend asked/commented about FWB, I would not be insulted(not in my nature to be easily offended) but I would not hesitate to say that it isn't what I want.

If you are close to your female friends, talk about anything, flirt and talk raunchy then you really should know if they might be open to it.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
how the hell do u get rid of a hickie???
Posted: 7/7/2008 4:43:22 PM
So many are slamming hickies and while I agree that I never want one that can be seen, I have to admit that if I am in a relationship and get one in a spot that is mostly hidden it has a certain thrill to it. If he and I are the only ones that can see it, there is a certain eroticism to it.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
When should a vacation alone be acceptable??
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:21:40 PM
In my opinion you can not tell at 2 months that you WILL be together still at the end of the year. You can hope it and want it, but at 2 months you cant know for sure. Simple things like what you are describing can come up and tear a relationship apart.
 tecoinmaine
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 55 (view)
 
They did it with the ex, so why not with you? Srsly Srs
Posted: 7/7/2008 2:11:07 PM
There are things I have done that I won't ever do again but am glad I did them. There are also things that I want to do but haven't though I someday hope to. Think of it like a TO DO list......many things on the list we only want to do one time to say we did them. ;) Other things we try and find we enjoy them and will do again.

If I am in love with someone and they really enjoy something and it is something I don't feel negative about (though am not all that fond of) then I will gladly do it to please him and hope to start enjoying it.
 
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