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 Author Thread: Question about genetically modified foods (gmo's)
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 63 (view)
Question about genetically modified foods (gmo's)
Posted: 6/7/2013 10:15:45 AM
The thing that concerns me about GMO is the choice of intended outcome for the genetic modification.
I think we are a very ingenious people, and we can choose a goal and invent something to accomplish it.
But what was the actual goal here? Did the goal include safety?

Roundup is very toxic to living things. So if you modify a plant to produce its own "roundup" chemical, the chemical is inside the plant tissue, not just on the outside, as when you used to just spray the chemical on a field to kill all living plant life before planting what you want to grow.
They used to think Roundup would degrade quickly and become less toxic over time, but this happens much slower than originally thought.

When you eat a plant that has roundup inside it, you are eating roundup. You cannot wash it off.
This stuff isn't a nutrient, it isn't necessary for people to have in their diet, yet we are adding it to the composition of our food, just to make it cheaper to make the food.

But farmer's can grow food without it. So it isn't necessary for nutrition, or for farming.

Any consequences of this toxic process are just for convenience, profit and for volume of food.

However, our society now has access to too much food, and we are all overweight, so why risk eating toxins when we can just farm the way we used to for thousands of years, and eat slightly less?

If the goal is to reduce starvation, I question the method here, too. If you produce so much food in a wealthy country that you can ship it to anywhere in the world and still have it be cheaper than their local farmers can produce it, then the people who are starving are the local farmers. If you put them out of business, then you are making entire groups of people MORE dependent on others than before. The goal should be to make them food independent. That would work if you were willing to help them without trying to control what seeds they buy. If you make farming more about competition than about nutrition, then what you get is one winner and a lot of loosers. And the loosers starve. In this case, competition isn't a game. Yet corporations only operate on the terms of competition. As a non-human entity, they have no way of quantifying human wellbeing, fairness, and justice. We make a mistake to think that the drive for profit only motivates for the good of everyone. We have to add goals that are difficult to put under that umbrella to be really safe from serious consequences.

The other thing I am concerned with is the method of modifying the genes. I read that this is done using viruses. Viruses are notoriously hard to contain in one place. Viruses are extremely small, and are way smaller than bacteria. They aren't even technically alive. They are just a package of code. What if the viruses that modify the plant genes become loose in the environment and causes genetic modification to other organisms (bees, food animals and us) that they weren't intended to modify? How can you completely, indefinitely, control this process?

Before GMO, for all of history, when we were selecting plants and animals for good characteristics and then breeding them, we were influencing their genetics but not in a way that was so toxic and uncontrollable. We had time and generations to decide if a plant was healthy to eat as well as whatever quality we were breeding for.

Look at how we breed dogs, for instance. Now we have dogs that have hip problems, sinus problems from having no long nose anymore, and hair that blocks their vision, and all kinds of other problems. This happened because we used the criteria of "cuteness," or unusual appearance, color of fur and other things that don't really help the dog at all. When we select for big tomatoes, we then have to support the vines with trellises. And we select for all kinds of stuff that has nothing to do with the health and wellness of the people eating the plants.

In fact, the only thing we can do is measure certain vitamins and minerals, that we know are essential to health, but we don't know all the factors that lead to good health and survivability. So we can't really predict the out come if we are modifying genes to produce the elusive quality of "health" in people, and so the people who do GMO modify for things that companies measure and care about; profitability. That usually means, simply volume, by weight, fast growth, ease of transport, and lack of spoilage. NOTHING to do with health of the consumer.

We don't need super large tomatoes for health. We don't need crops that grow really fast for our health. We don't need food that doesn't spoil for our health. We can eat small tomatoes, we can wait for the end of season for our food, we can buy things and then freeze them so they don't spoil.

All of the genetic modifications allow the producers to make more money selling us the same amount of nutrition as before.

What good is a super large tomato if it is low in nutrients because it was designed to grow really fast and then there was less uptake of minerals?
You have to eat twice as much to get the same amount of nutrition.
So now we have a population that is always hungry, craving things they can't see, and they have to eat more to feel satisfied.
So more profits for the producers, and less health for us, as we gain weight and feel worse.

We live in a country where food has been plentiful, and even before factory farming and GMOs.
Why do we need to do this to ourselves?

The companies that make GMO's aren't waiting even one generation to find out the long term effects on humans of their products.
And they have products that almost everyone in the country is exposed to.
So if they make a big mistake in some area, we only have one generation to fix it.
Is the science good enough to reverse this problem?
How would we even begin to remove something that has been spread across many hundreds of thousands of acres?

I have a son with Autism. Autism is now present in 1 out of 50 school children.
I think his genes have been altered through epigenetics. I do think it is reversable.
However, we might have lost an entire generation of children before this gets figured out enough to prevent the next generation from having an even higher rate of Autism.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
Sweaty Underarms
Posted: 6/6/2013 12:14:22 PM

...the main goal for sweating is to regulate your bodies temperature.

Although the evaporation of the water content of sweat regulates temperature,
often sweating when there is no need for temperature regulation is triggered by the body trying to rid itself of toxins.
The original poster made it seem that his sweating was out of proportion for what is necessary for him to regulate his temperature.
The skin is the largest organ of elimination in the body.

In most cultures, sweating is a method of purification and improving health.
For example, for Native Americans, this was the use of the Sweat Lodge.
In Northern European cultures there is the use of the Sauna.
In our culture we tend to use hot tubs.
The heat causes an artificial fever which can help the body deal with viruses and bacteria.
The sweating helps the body eliminate toxins which the liver cannot convert to molecules which are able to be secreted in the urine.

By exposed do you mean, just from the air or via consumption of foods?

Toxins can enter the body through any orifice, the lungs, mouth, and through the skin.
Up to 70% of lotions and other things put on the skin get absorbed into the body.
If this weren't so, then nicotine and pain patches wouldn't work.
Mercury, a potent toxic metal, can enter the body through the skin very easily.

Aside from painting your body with a latex membrane it is pretty much impossible to stop sweating.

Some people try to stop sweating under their arms completely.
There are companies trying to sell this concept with expensive ant-perspirants which are designed to interfere with the sweat glands and even to damage them in order to prevent any moisture from escaping.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
Is there a healthy emotional crutch?
Posted: 6/5/2013 8:35:51 PM
Prozac can make you gain weight. As will most medications.

Instead of going on super-low calories as a diet, try eating really healthy at 1,200 calories per day.
By healthy, I mean go with a whole foods diet - fresh vegetables, fresh fruit (not too much) unsalted nuts, and whole food that hasn't been made into anything by anyone else, like whole potatoes, yams, rice, instead of breads and packaged foods.

Try going to your local Farmer's Market to save money.
If it needs cooking, make it yourself.
Another rule of thumb is, if it has a preservative or needs an artificial food coloring to look good, don't eat it.
Organic food will avoid all these things if you want an easy way to find the right foods.

Drink the right amount of filtered water for your body every day. Don't drink soda.

Try juicing fresh fruits and veggies for a week.

Try Green Tea instead of coffee.

Avoid alcohol. Alcohol is a nervous system depressant.

For anxiety try teas with valerian, camomile (not if you are pregnant), and the supplement St. John's Wort.
Add a pro-biotic and fermented foods like yogurt, kefir, kim chee, non-pasturized saurkraut, miso, natto, kombucha.

Your depression might be caused by a lack of vitamins in the stuff you were eating before.
If you can just get rid of refined sugar, high fructose corn syrup, and all artificial sweeteners, you might
have less of an appetite. Aspartame and artificial sweeteners will make you crave sweets.

Your body might be craving certain nutrients that have been lacking in your snacking,
and that is why you are both hungry and depressed.
Try adding a chewable multi-vitamin along with a B-complex vitamin each day.
Try adding B6 and Magnesium in addition to that.

Healthy things for your emotions:
Fresh air and sunshine.
Go out in nature, walk by a body of water or river, the more trees the better. (Don't go alone into a wilderness area, bring a friend.)
Sing, take voice lessons
Dance, learn a new dance
Swimming is low-impact, but try to find a natural place to swim or use a salt-water pool.
Say what you need to say - Journaling
20 minutes of meditation every morning (or prayer if you are religious.)
Talking to friends (only friends that don't make you more depressed)
Write in your diary.
Gardening, plant flowers, put fresh flowers in your room.
Reading positive literature, affirmations, ect.
Make a Bucket List
Yoga, stretching,
Listening to acoustic music (no words)
Play an instrument
Ride a bike instead of driving
Epsom Salts Baths
Take 1/2 a melatonin at night to get better sleep.
If your home is full of clutter, de-clutter, put away, give away or recycle stuff.
Clutter is depressing.
Switch to non-toxic cleaning products for a while, you might be having a reaction to heavy chemicals in your environment. Try using baking soda and vinegar to clean your house for a while. Avoid artificial room fresheners.
Avoid energy vampires - people who will drain the positive energy out of a room.
(Don't hurt them, just avoid them while you are dieting.)
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
Does anyone know about magnesium supplements?
Posted: 6/5/2013 8:02:42 PM
I take magnesium and it does really work for anxiety.
It is also recommended for those on the Autism Spectrum and this really works for my son, too.
Be sure you are getting the right amount of calcium, not too much, not too little. I don't eat any dairy, so I supplement with chewable calcium.

I suggest trying different brands until you get one that agrees with you.
I am trying Kirkmann Labs supplements recently.
Sometimes the problem is with the fillers that they add to make the tablet with.
(I hate it when all the supplements seem to have some kind of talc or zinc oxide in them.)
After taking a supplement for a while, you can become sensitized to the fillers.
So try one that uses a capsule or is dissolved as a liquid.
Also, take minerals at night, since minerals are calming.

Epsom salts baths work the same way.
You can also dissolve Epsom Salts by heating them with water and then mix them into hand lotion, and use this on your hands and feet. If you don't takes baths, try dissolving them in a foot bath.
Use 2 cups for a regular bath, and at least half a cup for a foot bath.
Foods high in magnesium are dark green leafy vegetables.
Try eating Kale, and Collard Greens a few times per week.
They mix well with other cooked vegetables, just chop them up and add them last when you are cooking almost any vegetable side dish, and add them to any soup near the end of cooking.
If you don't like the sulfury smell that broccoli and cabbages and kale sometimes get,
first of all, be sure not to over cook them,
and second, at a splash of fresh lemon juice to them just before serving.
I think that the dark, leafy veggies all taste good mixed with sauteed onions or shallots or leeks.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
Sweaty Underarms
Posted: 6/5/2013 7:45:36 PM
Increased sweating might be from a change in your metabolism.
If you have gained weight recently,
you might be producing more hormones from the cells in the tissue you have added to your body.

Have you tried using a dusting of baking soda? This will help with any odor.

Sweating is a primary way for your body to get rid of toxins.
If you are exposed to increased toxins at work or at home, your body might be trying to get rid of them.
Don't try to stop sweating completely.

The best thing is to bathe frequently or just wash your underarms with a washcloth, in addition to bathing.
And carry a clean shirt and undershirt in your car or in your gym bag or briefcase.

Vinegar is excellent at quickly removing odors from clothing, but don't leave it on for very long, as it is an acid.
If you don't have a way to wash up, you could try using a spritz of vinegar mixed with lemon water on your underarms, if you have a very strong odor.

You can also try using vodka or Lysterine under your arms.
The alcohol in the vodka will evaporate quickly to cool you off, also.
Vodka takes flavorings and scents easily, so you can put your favorite scent into it before use, or just put actual lavender flowers, sage, lemon rinds, vanilla beans ect. into it.
Both of these will kill the bacteria that lead to the odor.
Don't use rubbing alcohol to cool off, because it is toxic and is absorbed through the skin too easily.

During menopause, I got hot flashes and sweating,
and I started carrying around gel pacs that you keep in the refrigerator.
I put them into an insulated lunch bag and slipped them under my clothing or behind my back while driving, and throughout the day. You can get them in all sizes. There is one which I like that is shaped so that you can put it around your neck.

I used to use The Crystal for a few years, and it did work,
but I stopped using it because it became irritating after a while,
and now I am trying to avoid all aluminum in contact with my skin or food since my Grandmother got dementia.

Most anti-perspirants contain aluminum which is a mutagenic and can cause cancer, and neurological diseases.
Mutagenics can cause your DNA to be changed.

Alum can be made with aluminum. Here's some more information about it:
Although alum is approved as a food additive by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration, it is toxic in large doses.
The current trend is to reduce reliance on chemicals to improve food texture.
Alum may be used to soak some pickles, but it is no longer used in the final pickling solution.

Alum in deodorant may be absorbed across the skin into the bloodstream.
Although it is deemed safe enough for this purpose by the Food and Drug Administration,
there may be negative health consequences from continued exposure to the aluminum ions in the alum.
Because some of the product is absorbed into the skin,
one way to cut your exposure to the product is to apply it every other day, rather than every day.

Alum Health Concerns
All forms of alum can cause irritation of the skin and mucous membranes.
Breathing alum can cause lung damage.
Aluminum also may attack lung tissue.
The primary concern with alum is longterm exposure to low levels of the chemical.
Aluminum, from your diet or healthcare product, can cause degeneration of nervous system tissue.
It is possible exposure to aluminum could lead to an increased risk of certain cancers, brain plaques or Alzheimer's Disease.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
Feb 15th, 2012 Valentine's Day Social at Big Dogs Sports Grill in West Allis
Posted: 2/9/2013 3:23:45 PM
Is this Party in the year 2012 or 2013?
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 55 (view) do you take it?
Posted: 12/27/2012 9:05:54 PM
My favorite way to eat oats is gluten-free Oatmeal muffins with oat bran, apples, raisins and almonds.
I don't have the recipe, but someone at my church makes them and I buy them all every Sunday.

I got this tip from the Frugal Gourmet (does anybody remember him?)
Put the rolled or steel-cut oats and water together before you go to bed and stick it in the fridge.
In the morning it takes less time to cook, and looses that raw taste.
I add raisins, sunflower seeds, and a touch of vanilla during cooking
and top it with a little 100% real maple syrup, some coconut milk, and a pat of organic butter.

I love oats in meatloaf, and if you put them in a spice grinder, they work great as a breading for frying.

My house rabbit loved oats. Its a great food for animals, including horses.

I use Bob's Red Mill gluten-free oats.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
Home Made Cold and Flu Remedies
Posted: 12/27/2012 8:46:43 PM
A Chiropractor gave me this recipe:

Boil some filtered water, let it cool just enough to drink (still hot, though) put into a tall glass and add a tablespoon or two of apple cider vinegar.
It has to be unfiltered apple cider vinegar. Then add a tablespoon or so of honey. Stir and sip.
This helps with a sore throat and helps your immune system.
Don't boil the water with the honey and vinegar in it since there are properties to them that change when heated too hot.

I also make chicken soup at home, for colds I make sure to use fresh garlic in the soup.
I think the smell of chicken soup cooking in the house is half of the cure.

Then I do a very hot shower, or a hot bath with 2-3 cups of scented Epsom Salts.
Sometimes I use Vicks if I can't sleep.
I also take 500mg vitamin C twice a day during the flu season (more than that goes right through you.)
If you drink orange juice for the C, squeeze it from fresh oranges, or just eat a couple of oranges, it works much better that way, I think it is because orange juice that you buy has to be pasturized (heated) before it can be sold, and heat destroys some of the vitamin C.
And I take 4,000 units of D3 in the winter daily. You can safely take three times that if you want to.
I hear there are safe tanning beds that will give you vitamin D, but I haven't tried them myself. I think getting outside for part of each day is very healthy for you.

I think that a Tablespoon of Cod Liver Oil is a great way to get vitamin D along with other things (Vitamin A) that help your health. There are some better-tasting versions being made now that make it easier to take.

These aren't home remedies, but they are natural:
I totally recommend B&T Cough Syrup, which is a homeopathic. I have used this for 20 years for colds and coughs with my kids.
And Airborne seems to really work for my family.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
Is stainless steel hurting the taste of your food?
Posted: 12/27/2012 8:16:58 PM
This is a good question.
Manufacturers recommend that you don't store food in your stainless steel cookware.
I think that it causes an odd metallic taste when food is in contact with the stainless steel for a period of time.
I find that I can taste stainless steel in my food, so I have switched to cast iron pots and ceramic coated cast iron. You have to be sure that the ceramic is not contaminated with lead, though. I use a stainless coffee travel mug and I can always tell the difference. I am looking for a good ceramic or glass travel mug.

Years ago I got rid of all of my aluminum cookware because aluminum is linked with Alzheimer's, DNA changes, and some types of cancer, after I lost a close family member to cancer. I also began using non-aluminum baking powder and non-aluminum deodorant for the same reason. I think I am sensitive to the aluminum and bromide which is in breads and baked items, probably from having had damaged intestines at one time, and now these two things bother me. I noticed home-made or made from scratch baked goods don't bother me, but if I eat something made by a large company (which probably uses bromates as dough conditioners and aluminum baking powder) I get problems.

Potassium bromate is typically used as a flour improver, strengthening the dough and allowing higher rising. It is an oxidizing agent, and under the right conditions, will be completely used up in the baking bread. However, if too much is added, or if the bread is not baked long enough or not at a high enough temperature, then a residual amount will remain, which may be harmful if consumed. Potassium bromate might also be used in the production of malt barley where the U.S. Food and Drug Administration has prescribed certain conditions where it may be used safely, which includes labeling standards for the finished malt barley product. It is a very powerful oxidizer. Bromate is considered a category 2B (possibly carcinogenic to humans) carcinogen by the International Agency for Research on Cancer.

I did some research on the material stainless cookware is made of in case you are interested:
The taste you are tasting is probably Chromium Oxide, which forms a protective film over the stainless surface when in contact with oxygen.
All stainless steel has at least 10.5% Chromium in it. Chromium is what makes the steel stainless. The other elements in stainless steel can be nickel, nitrogen, molybdenum.
Nickel is poisonous in large quantities, trace amounts go into the food. People who are allergic to nickel, should avoid using stainless altogether.

"There are many grades of stainless steel. Regular stainless steel cookware is made from different alloys including scrap metal. "Most stainless steel sold in stores is of such a nature to allow chrome and nickel to bleed into the foods as the salts and acids of the food react with the pot." Dr. Shelton. For cleanliness and safety reasons, you food should be cooked on only high -grade surgical stainless steel, such as High-Carbon Steel, which is steel with more than 0.3% carbon. The more carbon that is dissolved in the iron, the less formable and the tougher the steel becomes. High-carbon steel's hardness makes it suitable for cutting edges, or other high-wear applications.

Most cookware sold in stores is an 18/10 grade of steel. Because of the softness of this grade of metal, when heated, it expands and the food sticks to the pan. You are then forced to cook with oil and the pan becomes difficult to clean. In addition the natural acids and salts contained in our foods can create a chemical reaction with ordinary cooking surfaces."

"The kind of steel used in most stainless steel cookware is not the best metal in which to prepare foods. Most stainless steel cookware sold in stores is of such a nature as to allow chrome and nickel to bleed out into foods as water and food chemicals react with the walls of the vessels as they are heated. The chrome and nickel salts are retained when ingested. They cannot be eliminated. They build up and in time can create troublesome conditions". - Dr. Shelton's Hygienic Review Division of Science, Engineering and Technology, The Pennsylvania State University at Erie, The Behrend College, 16563 Erie, Pennsylvania, USA

There are two kinds of Chromium, one is actually beneficial in the right amounts, and the other is toxic:
Chromium(III) is an essential element for organisms that can disrupt the sugar metabolism and cause heart conditions, when the daily dose is too low. However, when concentrations exceed a certain value, negative effects can still occur.
Chromium(VI) is mainly toxic to organisms. It can alter genetic materials and cause cancer.
In animals chromium can cause respiratory problems, a lower ability to fight disease, birth defects, infertility and tumor formation.

Chromium Oxide:
Chronic Effects on Humans:
Mutagenic for mammalian somatic cells. Mutagenic for bacteria and/or yeast. May cause damage to
the following organs: upper respiratory tract, skin.
May cause cancer (tumorigenic) based on animal data.
Toxic Effects on Humans:
Acute Potential Health Effects: Skin: May cause skin irritation. Eyes: May cause eye irritation. Inhalation: May cause
respiratory tract irritation. Ingestion: May cause gastrointestinal tract irritation. Chronic Potential Health Effects: Skin: May
cause sensitization dermatitis Inhalation: As noted by ACGHI, in their publication,
"Documentation of Threshold Limit Values" repeated and prolonged exposures may cause delayed effects involving the
respiratory system such as chronic bronchitis, pneumoconiosis.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 5/9/2012 8:55:20 PM
"Everyone is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by it's ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid"

- Albert Einstein

"By compassion we make others' misery our own,
and so, by relieving them, we relieve ourselves also."

- Thomas Browne

"Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear."

- Mark Twain
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 2/6/2012 7:10:59 AM
"A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful.

Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it.

Their purpose is to shake you up, drive you out of a situation that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, and make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life."

~ from "Eat Pray Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
How do I deal with insomnia?
Posted: 12/22/2011 5:39:54 PM
Insomnia has two parts; physical and mental.

For the physical:

Pain interferes with sleep
Treat any pain issues first. Go to the Doctor and figure out what is causing any pain you might be experiencing and treat it. Take a pain medication if necessary, but don't rely just on those as that should be temporary, since pain medication is tough on your liver and you can develop a tolerance for it and get addicted to some of them.

Light affects sleep
Make your living space as bright as it can be during the day and as dark as possible in your bedroom at night. Use a small red or blue light as a night light if you have to get up in the night. (A christmas tree replacement bulb in a night light works fine for this.) Red light doesn't wake you up as much as white light.
The body relies on sunlight to set the circadian rhythm that gets you to fall asleep at the right time. There is a small gland (the pineal gland) behind your eyes that registers all the sunlight you are exposed to throughout the day. So make sure to get sunlight in the morning and some throughout the day. Artificial light doesn't seem to work very well at all, unless you get the very bright natural spectrum SAD lights for seasonal depression. These are available by prescription from you Doctor if you get depressed every winter when there is less daylight. (You can also buy them on the internet or make one, with a bank of very bright lights with enough wattage to trigger the response in your brain.) The sunlight stimulates the production of melatonin. At night, make sure the room you sleep in is very dark. Get the light-blocking window shades available at any hardware store, or use heavily lined drapes to block out all light. But then open them in the daytime for the sun.

Hormones affect sleep
You can take melatonin as a pill 20 minutes before you want to sleep also. Cherry juice is high in melatonin. Melatonin is a natural substance your body produces, so you don't need a prescription for it.

Melatonin is used for jet lag for pilots and travellers. It is often combined with vitamin B6 to aid in regaining your sleep pattern after a change in your pattern.

Routines and habits affect sleep
Your body needs a pattern to follow. If you don't go to bed and get up at the same time every day, you won't have developed the hormones during the day that you need to fall asleep at night. You will have created "jet lag" in your everyday life. Try to stay on a regular sleep/awake schedule so your body can anticipate your needs and be ready when you need to sleep, and to stay fully awake during the day.

Temperature affects sleep
Your body's sleep rhythm also responds to temperature cues. It helps to have a drop in body temperature just before sleeping. Sleep in a cool room, and add layers of blankets until you are comfortable. Set the temperature at night to no higher than around 65 to 68 degrees. The sleep-inducing effect of cool temperature is enhanced if you take a warm to hot bath or shower just before bed. The drop in temperature after the bath is what triggers the sleepiness.

If you have muscle tightness in your legs or prickly feelings all over that keep you awake, put several cups (2 to 3 cups or more) of Epsom salts into your bath water and soak for 20 minutes. (Then rinse off before using soap and washing up.) Epsom salts are cheap, and you can get them at any pharmacy and at most grocery stores. Epsom salts are made from magnesium which helps your muscles to relax, and has a slight numbing effect on your skin. I used to use Epsom salts after a job that kept me on my feet all day -- works great for sore muscles.

Scents and smells affect sleep
The scent of lavender helps people feel sleepy, and now you can get Epsom salts with a lavender scent added, I just bought some from Walgreens. Or you can buy hand lotion with lavender in it and put some on before bed. A great Christmas gift is to take a pretty hand-size towel, and mix lavender into pillow stuffing and sew it shut.

Physical Conditioning affects sleep
Exercise helps a lot. But exercise early in the day. It raises your body temperature, and increases your metabolism to burn off any sugars in your system that can keep you awake if you have any excess sugar floating in your bloodstream before bed. (Think how children act after eating candy -- their bodies are trying to burn off the sugar so they don't have to store it as fat.) And exercise some every day so that you have a routine your body can adjust to.

If you want your body to work "automatically" to put you to sleep every night, give your body an automatic routine that it can adjust to and anticipate your metabolic needs. For instance, it takes 20 minutes to an hour for your body to produce the right digestive enzymes to digest your food before you eat a meal. If you eat at different times every day, your body is going to suffer from indigestion.

Set up the environment to succeed:

Sound affects sleep
Besides making sure that your room can be completely dark and cool while you are sleeping, set up your bedroom so that it is quiet, or has a neutral sound to cover up random noises from outside your bedroom. Some people run a fan at night (make sure it doesn't squeek or make other rattling sounds.) You can get a "sound machine" to produce a calming sound of crickets or waves, or a thunderstorm. I live near a railroad track, and this helped me get used to the sound of the trains going by at night. I don't need it anymore, though, because I adjusted to that sound.

Electromagnetic fields can affect sleep
I took the TV and a computer out of my bedroom. Before I could do that, I covered them up with a tablecloth at night. Now I have all the "technology" out of my bedroom. Its like they give off an "awake" energy that can remind you of all the things you have to do... plus, they do have minor magnetic fields that they generate that can interfere with your sleep. (Everything that uses electricity generates some magnetic fields while it is operating.)

I know some people who have an off switch for their entire house, so that they have "energy silence" throughout the house at night. I have connected all my technology onto a power strip/surge protector so that I can switch everything off at night. This saves energy, too, since a lot of electronic equipment has an instant on feature that means that it never is completely shut down even when it is turned off, unless you cut off the power.

Associations affect sleep
Don't use your bedroom for lots of other things besides sleeping (and intimacy.)
Don't exercise in your bedroom. I do stretches in the morning in bed, but I don't do heavy exercise there.
Don't do work in your bedroom, or keep work files, or other work-related material near where you sleep. You want your body and mind to associate the bedroom with sleep.

Don't store a lot of junk in your bedroom. Just have a few nice decorations that are calming and soothing to you. If you are sorting things, or doing crafts, put it all somewhere else when you are sleeping. Some people think of bedrooms as storage units, where you stuff everything you don't want people to see when they come over and then close the door. This stuff will penetrate your consciousness while you sleep and interfere with it. Its like a type of physical "noise" that never goes away until you move it out of the room. Don't store stuff under your bed. Let the air circulate under your bed. Reducing extra clutter helps with the next one:

Indoor pollution affects sleep
Dust and vaccume the room you sleep in. If you have a lot of dust, it can make you get stuffed up at night and not breathe well while you are sleeping. If you snore at night you are going to wake up many more times during the night and you might not even remember waking up, but your sleep is of low-quality, because you can't get to a very deep level of sleep then. Don't use a lot of chemicals in your bedroom, like air-fresheners, hair-spray, spray deodorants and perfume. These can interfere with your breathing and cause sinus problems. Make sure your furnace filter is clean and working.

Snoring affects sleep
If you snore, get a sleep study done and find out if you can get treatment for sleep apnea. There is a huge connection between snoring and daytime sleepiness. There are lots of treatments now for sleep apnea and most are covered by insurance, or you can get the equipment on the internet. Sleep apnea should be treated because it can make you gain weight, and can also cause you to have more accidents while driving. It also greatly affects the sleep of anyone you are sleeping near.

Oxygen levels affect sleep
Don't underestimate the power of fresh air. If you like your home's temperature at 72 degrees during the day, and you live in a cooler area, open the window in your bedroom for a few minutes before bed to cool it off and to get fresh air for you to breathe at night. In the winter, your room can have less oxygen for you to breathe. In older homes there isn't a fresh air exchanger connected to the furnace, so be aware that you are breathing recirculated air over and over again, and if you don't air out the house once a day, you aren't getting enough oxygen. Oxygen helps you metabolise energy. So without enough oxygen you can feel very tired and low-energy.

One way to offset this is to have a few green growing plants in each room. Plants exhale oxygen. They breathe in the carbon dioxide that we exhale, and clean the air a bit. There are some that are very easy to care for that you can try, but don't overwater indoor plants or they can get moldy. Plants aren't enough to replace airing out the room once in a while, though. If you have plants, they will remind you to open the drapes and let the sun in every day.

Diet affects sleep
Don't eat a large meal right before bed. It takes a lot of energy to digest a large meal, so eat lightly before bed, or not at all. Valerian and St. John's Wort are herbs that can help, but if you don't like the taste of them as a tea you can also get them in pill form. Milk and turkey are foods that can help you fall asleep.

Sugar during the day makes you have to use the bathroom at night. So avoid all kinds of sugar during the day.

Stimulants affect sleep
Diet drinks have aspartame in them, and aspartame is a brain neurotransmitter that can stimulate the brain and even cause brain swelling in some people. So avoid aspartame/nutrasweet during the day also. Avoid caffeine during the day. Try going caffeine-free for a week. Sometimes it takes a few days to really get it all out of your system. Don't forget that chocolate has caffeine in it too. Some painkillers have caffeine in them, so check the labels.

Drinking affects sleep
Don't use alcohol to fall asleep. Alcohol is a stimulant if you just have one or two, but then it becomes a major sedative, and this actually hurts your sleep, because you don't dream and have the same rapid eye movements that you would need to feel rested. Your body performs lots of maintenance functions while you are sleeping and alcohol interferes with all of them. A drunk brain doesn't sleep well, it is just unconscious. You will only feel like you haven't really slept. Then the next day you not only have to deal with that, but your body has to heal itself from the damage the alcohol has done. If you have a history of drinking, you might benefit from adding a B vitamin complex to your diet, and doing a liver detox regimine. If your liver has been damaged, you really have to avoid all stimulants during the entire day, because your liver can't get rid of them fast enough to help you feel sleepy by night time.

The second part of insomnia is mental:

If you read before sleeping, have a task light next to the bed, and try to only read positive, inspiring, or soothing material. If it is too stimulating your brain will be working overtime at night to mentally digest what you have read and it will affect your sleep.

Worry affects sleep
What you think about just before falling asleep will affect your sleep and your dreams and also set the motivations and incentives for the next day.

Take a few minutes to get ready for the next day before you go to bed. Put electronic things on their chargers, find the clothes you might want to wear, check your calendar for appointments, set aside things to go out the door with you by the front door so you don't forget them. Then try to forget about everything you just did.

If you are still doing more than planning and have slipped into ruminating about your problems, I find that journalling helps. Get a blank note book and a nice pen or pencil and put it by the bed. Write whatever it is that is bothering you down, along with things you are grateful for and anything else you want to express but haven't had the chance to. Then you can relax knowing that it has been put down where you won't forget it if you need to find it again.

Just before sleeping, tell yourself you want to come up with an answer for some issue you want inspiration for, and often your brain will be creatively working on it in your sleep. You might find the answer by morning. Don't do this all the time or you won't get good quality sleep.

If you wake up at 3am, this is the most creative time of the day. Write down anything that comes to mind and then go back to bed. If you don't like writing, use a tape recorder.

Depression affects sleep
If you have depression, get it treated. There are many more good treatments for depression than there used to be. Often the things that help depression also help sleep, so they are definitely connected. For instance, exercise helps both. Eating right helps both.

Your Conscience affects sleep
There is nothing better for sleep than a clean conscience, and nothing worse than trying to sleep well with something bothering your conscience.

This will help to clear a conscience;
first acknowledge what is bothering your conscience,
and this might take some searching to become really aware of it if you have let denial slip over your awareness.

Then tell someone you trust, or write it in your journal, or communicate with your higher power or god-like substitute. But somehow externalize the issue from inside your gut to outside. This will shrink its affect on you considerably.

Next, apologize, make amends, but not in any way that would hurt anyone. Do this step somehow even if the other person is gone or unavailable, perhaps use another person or an unsent letter as a substitute.

Then accept that it is in the past and that it is now possible to move on, go forward, or at least lighten up on yourself.

It helps to do this even when the other person is just as wrong as you are. What matters is that you are holding yourself accountable for the part that was yours in the issue. It doesn't matter if they apologize for their part or not, you can still do this and it will help. Of course, its always nice if someone apologizes, but human nature makes this very hard to predict, and I wouldn't hold my breath while waiting for it.

Addictions, compulsions and other unconscious behavior affect sleep
OCD, ADD, seizures, and anything that intrudes on your thoughts when you don't want it all are things to address before you can really sleep well. There are good treatments for anxiety, lack of focus, migraines and other problems. If you have a problem with any addiction, you are not in control of your life to that extent, and that can keep you up at night, not to mention all the other problems that they can cause.
Try to figure out what drives the addiction, such as anxiety, fear, stress, loneliness, perfectionism, or physical problems. All of these can be handled in another way than by succumbing to an addictive habit.

For stress, try meditation, yoga, religious practices like prayer and making meaningful social connections with others of similar beliefs.

Try to maintain a balanced life. Use moderation in all things. Balance your day with something for your mind, something for your body, and something for your spirit each day. Unhealthy habits are always there for a reason. Somehow you feel you are being rewarded for doing them, even if in the long run they have bad consequences for you.

So try to develop healthy habits and routines to replace the unhealthy ones, instead of just focusing on getting rid of the unhealthy. Make one change at a time and try to maintain it for 21 days to anchor the habit. Then do another. If you try to change a lot of things about your life all at once, that can cause further stress and push you to crave the unhealthy things again.

Good luck, God Bless, and never forget to leave something for the Sandman under your pillow just in case.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
Deal breakers-Then and Now
Posted: 10/9/2011 7:21:25 PM
The purpose of doing an online Search is to find those you are interested in. If you only look for red flags you are going to risk being judgemental about everyone and perhaps weed out someone prematurely.

The parts of the profile that say things like 'non-smoking', 'drugs yes/no,' 'height,' 'religion' and such are to let people weed themselves out before even contacting online.

The purpose of dating is to have a nice time meeting new people and hearing their stories and jokes and perhaps getting out of your comfort zone with a few things. If you don't do that occasionally, you will end up dating the same person over and over again.

I do like the question -- what you have added to your knowledge about dating since the last relationship. Everyone needs to think that one through a bit. I don't particularly like dating, for a lot of reasons, but one of them is that you learn about yourself as well as other people, and human nature in general. What I learn about myself is more about my own boundaries. But one person's red flag can be another's favorite thing to be around. Well, some of the time, anyway.

My boundaries can seem invisible until someone pushes against them. I thought I was being open-minded dating an atheist, for instance, but he had so much trouble with me being a Christian that I now am thinking I don't want to even try dating an atheist. I tried not discussing religion at all, and only discussing his beliefs, but it just wasn't enough. I don't know if you can convert someone else to atheism, but sometimes it felt like the only way things would work, because he seemed to be angry at Christians so much of the time. Then again, maybe he was just angry a lot.

But, I think that if I just eliminate a whole category of people, that is a form of bias, even bigotry. Don't get me wrong, I don't think anyone has to be totally fair about dating, ever. But in a way, if I eliminate a whole category of person at once, maybe I will be eliminating the people who have the most to teach me. And I might be eliminating people based on something that had nothing to do with why our relationship ended.

Sometimes people will tell you one thing about why it isn't working out for them, when really it is another... perhaps not so nice reason... so you never really know based on past experience with some things.

I can't change my height, so I have to accept that some people will be OK with that and some people might not. But each person is half the equation in a relationship, and so sometimes I am the cause of a dynamic between us that I can mistakenly think is all the other person when its not. Perhaps the guy I just stopped seeing had some really bad stuff happen to him by people that he thought was all about them being Christian. Maybe it wasn't the Christianity vs Atheism, but the way they interacted together that was the problem.

We all do better in social situations where we are similar in a lot of ways to the group we are with. That might be all it is, really. But who wants to just look for carbon copies of one's self? There's the tricky part. What's important to have the same and what isn't.

I think in the end you have to treat each person as a unique example of humanity. If you want to eliminate all the smokers and all the drug addicts, and other stuff that is difficult to change or deal with, I can understand that, particularly if you have children living at home. But if you try to eliminate all the other things that can be problems for any two people, you might end up looking for a very long time and missing out on a lot of fun, (or at least interesting,) perhaps adventurous, dates in the meantime.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
Andrew Wakefield - Autism/MMR Doctor, found guilty of misconduct
Posted: 1/18/2011 8:52:42 PM

"The main reason for more diagnoses of autism is awareness in the medical community - nobody thinks there is a higher incidence of the condition. A couple of generations ago low functioning autistics would have been diagnosed as mentally retarded and high functioning would have been just ignored."

When my son was diagnosed, I had a very hard time finding any Doctor who had even SEEN an Autistic person, child or adult, EVER. The same was true with the teachers at the schools, therapists, and at the Rehabilitation center in our city that dealt with diagnosing and early intervention of all children with any "differences." They had only heard about Autism, but never seen a case. He was considered unusual, very rare, and a curiosity. His diagnosable characteristics were something they had never seen before and hadn't studied.

And even my Father thought this, and he was a well-known and respected Doctor, the Vice Chief of Staff at a major regional hospital. At first he didn't believe the diagnosis, and because he had never seen a case of Autism himself, and lived in another state at the time, he flew both of us to where he lived, sent me off on a shopping trip for a day and observed my son for the entire day to figure out if it was a misdiagnosis.

At the time I had my son, I had a degree in Psychology, studying Child development, Adolescent Psychology, Abnormal Psychology, and Neurophysiology. And I had not been taught anything about Autism, it was just a footnote, even though my College specialized in behavior modification, which years later, became the primary scientifically researched theraputic method for treating Autism.

I am not scientifically illiterate as people previously in this thread suggested the parents of Autistics must be. I have always had an interest in science, and in High School, my Science project was to duplicate the first cloning experiment (which was successful.) I have done research myself, and I was going to be a researcher studying DNA until I had my son, and gave up my career to take care of him and help with his treatment. I have studied college level Biology, Human Physiology, and Statistics, so I can read the research papers that relate to Autism.

So I can say that Autism didn't just get invented by people who were re-classifying other developmental disabilities. And it isn't because of some other agenda I made up as I went along, out of ignorance.

In order to get my son into scientifically based, valid treatment, I enrolled him in research. There was no other treatment available at the time in my region of the country. To make sure the research was valid from the start, my son was given a very long battery of tests, three different times, and had to be INDEPENDENTLY diagnosed by three different experts in the field, at separate institutions before he could be accepted for study. All three experts were the top in the field in my region, and all of them told me that seeing an actual case of Autism was unusual for them at the time, even though we were told they were the experts in Autism diagnosis.

I have met with the same people over the years and they all say they don't have an explanation for the huge increase in the cases of Autism they are seeing. Nobody was watering down the diagnoses. Nobody changed the criteria. There have been simply more cases every year.

I didn't want the diagnosis. For a while, as parents, we lived in denial about it, and were hoping he would "grow out of it." It took other family members urging for us to take more action than just waiting and seeing. It took us a year from when we first saw the symptoms to when we actively started searching for a diagnosis. And then the diagnosis itself was very traumatic for us because it had no cure, and no available treatment, and our insurance did not cover it. It was like hearing a death sentence. We cried for months.

It is very difficult and sad for me to hear people saying we somehow made this up or in some way bent the "truth" to suit some kind of sick need that people imagine parents of Autistic children have all seemed to come up with independently all over the country. It is like surviving a natural disaster that nobody will even acknowledge even happened.

Believe me, we tried to wish it away. We tried to just "wait and see" if it would just go away. We didn't want our son to be different, and have a label the rest of his life in order just to get insurance coverage to help him. When there was finally a diagnosis, it was a relief to at least have a name for what we were seeing and what our family members were telling us they saw. With a name you can do can fight it and try to figure it out.

At least we got a diagnosis early and this helped. Many children my son's age didn't get an early diagnosis, and their progress isn't as fortunate. Because without treatment, they don't make much progress. It doesn't just go away. I don't wish this on any other parent, and that is why I continue to get involved and try to help in any way I can.

It is also really, truly, sad that there are so many more children with this formerly rare disorder. I think it has helped that other parents have helped to fund research and push for better services in schools and better training for Doctors. I myself have trained over 20 Autism therapists. The problem still exists, and it seems like there isn't any easy solution to it.

But how many children will have to suffer from this before people start to take it seriously? Does it have to become a pandemic, where everyone knows someone with an Autistic child? Does it have to be your child for you to begin to question and search for answers, and maybe see that this is something more than just a "re-categorization" of other developmental disabilities?
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
Andrew Wakefield - Autism/MMR Doctor, found guilty of misconduct
Posted: 1/17/2011 9:38:10 PM
I am very sad that this has happened. I read about Dr. Wakefield's research when it first came out and it was accepted then. That was back when Autism was considered quite rare. My son had been diagnosed about two years previously with Autism and there was hardly any information about it anywhere that I could find. I had to travel to another city to find anyone who knew anything about it, and I ended up enrolling my son in a research study to pay for his treatment because our insurance refused to cover Autism at all. At that time Autism was considered completely incurable and the only options offered to us were to keep him comfortable and try to last as long as we could before putting him into an institution.

Things have come a long way since then, and mostly because of parents, not Doctors. I got involved with parent groups who were trying to find some answers and these parents raised the money themselves to pay to have their Doctor flown to where research was being done and to bring back information that would possibly help their children.

I think that when Autism was thought of as some kind of orphan disease nobody seemed to care whether vaccinations had anything to do with it or not. Now that Autism is more prevalent, there are huge interests and lots more at stake and so the dialogue has become quite heated. Its scary to think that now Doctors are going to be afraid to question anything with regard to vaccination for fear that everything they do will be scoured for problems and their livelihoods will be at stake.

I am concerned that one of the largest groups that is raising money for Autism research is primarily focusing on the genetics. I am all for finding the genetic markers -- if it leads to successful treatments. However, this area is scary to me because I am thinking that then people will get their child tested before birth for Autism and use this evidence to abort the child, and if that is the main way of dealing with Autism, there will be little incentive to look for post-birth solutions. And this will mean that the true cause of Autism will remain hidden from us.

I am concerned that people will think that Autism is a type of genetic birth defect. Because even if there is a genetic predisposition to Autism, that doesn't mean that all children with the genetic markers will be certain to develop Autism. The reason I say this is that pre-1990, there were far fewer children with Autism. The genetic make-up of our children didn't suddenly become weaker in the 1990's. These children, born even one decade sooner, might have been normal, or maybe even a bit nerdy or shy or something, but not Autistic. They might have been the Steve Job's of their generation. But somehow this potential was stolen from them and I think that however this happened, we will never know unless brave people continue to look for causes outside of our genes as well as inside them.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 359 (view)
Hypothetical dilemma for Vegans/PETA...
Posted: 1/17/2011 3:16:15 PM
As a pescatarian (a former vegetarian that does eat seafood but not red meat, pork or chicken,) if a vegan decides to try to survive by becoming a pescatarian temporarily while stranded on a desert island, here's the non-hypothetical information they might need:

How To Survive Being Stranded On A Desert Island

"While it's important to hope for the best in life, it's also important to plan for the worst.
While no one expects to land on a deserted island, the fact of the matter is that it can happen.
There are a handful of key skills and activities you should be aware of if you want to survive on a deserted island.

1. Decide that you are going to do whatever it takes to survive. You're going to have to set aside just about every custom and preference you have if you're going to live for more than a few days on a deserted island.

2. Identify a clean source of fresh water. Safe drinking water is your first priority. If you don't have clean, safe drinking water within 3 to 4 days, you'll die. The further inland you go, the more likely you are to find fresh water.

3. Prepare to eat some strange things. After water, food is your next priority. You can safely consume most animals and seafood, provided they are cooked and not diseased. Snakes, crabs and even insects can provide the vital nutrients you need.

4. Find or make shelter. Before too long, you'll need some protection from the elements. A cave can be an acceptable shelter, assuming there aren't any dangerous animals that already occupy the cave.

5. Make a fire. It is extremely difficult to make a fire without matches or a lighter. Still, there are several methods of natural firemaking, from the bow method to the stereotypical rubbing together of sticks. Creating a fire will provide you comfort, warmth and a way to cook your food.

6. Let other people know where you are. Whether that's with a satellite phone that happened to survive the wreck along with you, or whether it's by placing rocks in a large "HELP" pattern on the beach, figure out ways to let planes and ships know you're in distress.


Obviously, the ocean can be a good source but you can never be certain that every living creature will be good for consumption, so here are few tips to keep in mind:

1. Avoid consuming fish that have the appearance of spikes on their body.

2. Avoid eating jellyfish.

3. If a fish puffs up for protection, do not consume it.

4. Fish that appear to have “beaks” on their faces are also not a food type that is safe.

Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 1/7/2011 7:19:59 PM
"A successful man is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him."

~ David Brinkley
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 1/5/2011 7:11:25 PM
“Thought follows attention.

Attention follows intention.”

~ Drunvalo Melchizedek
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
Please Post Tips On Making Housekeeping Easy
Posted: 1/1/2011 10:25:20 PM
I love Flylady. (Her name is a reference to her hobby as a fly fisherwoman.)

She's compassionate toward people who have issues with housekeeping for whatever reason. A lot of people with ADD, OCD, trauma, and depression can fall into a pattern of being behind in housekeeping. There are tons of books and articles on how to do housekeeping, but not so many that help with dealing with procrastination, perfectionism and other issues that make housekeeping more difficult for some people.

This site is for everyone who is overwhelmed by housekeeping and doesn't know where to start.

I can vouch that her methods work for almost anyone, but you have to actually get started give it a try and not just think about it. Sign up for the free daily e-mail reminders that motivate and help you to figure out what to work on each day. You just jump in wherever they are, and start and within about 3 months you will see a huge difference without breaking your back.

Here is another site that is very good. Sandra Felton has several good books out on the subject of housekeeping for people who aren't born organized, (i.e., messy.) I have found her books at our local library.

If you want advice from a guy, anything by Don Aslet is great. He's a professional cleaner but has great advice for general housekeeping. I loved his book, "Clutter's Last Stand." Everything he writes is funny and illustrated. "Is There Life After Housework?" is also a good one. You don't have to buy his products to benefit from the great advice in his books.

If you have a problem with serious hoarding, there is some new research on this subject and this site has some good information about it. Dr. Randy Frost has published some good resources on dealing with hoarding without judging the person. This is very practical information. For instance, a deficiency in Vitamin B6 can cause hoarding in animals.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
Good hair..
Posted: 1/1/2011 8:33:08 PM
I've had men pay for hair appointments, and clothes, many times as a Birthday or Christmas gift.

It takes confidence on the part of the woman to accept a gift like that without thinking that it might be a way of controlling your look or a way of saying the way you look isn't somehow good enough. Hopefully, any guy considering a gift of this kind will allow the woman to choose the style and color herself, only making suggestions, not demands.

Normally I don't go to salons to get my hair done for myself. I have been lucky to look good in long straight blonde hair that didn't need a lot of upkeep.
But I enjoy a gift of pampering because I don't often pamper myself.

I like to date men who can afford to pay for things like jewelry and clothing. However, I think that if a man is trying to make a woman look better to impress other people then this is an indication that he values her mainly for her appearance.

I tend to live very casually most of the time. I am not trying to impress anyone. And I like to be comfortable in my clothes. I like high quality fabrics and well-made clothing, and I am not one to follow trends. But a little vanity sometimes can lift my mood and help me to feel respect for myself as a person when life is difficult.

I remember when my friends and I were little girls and how much enjoyment we got out of dressing up and acting like princesses. It was so much fun to be frilly and girly. After I began working (at a bank) I had to wear suits all the time.

Now people don't dress up as much, and there aren't as many occasions to do so. Mainly, I dress nicely for Church and parties, and for going out dancing. I just saw the movie, "The Tourist" and Angelina Jolie was breathtaking in expensive gowns and a beautiful hairstyle. I can't even begin to imagine the cost of the clothing, accessories and makeup. The plot of the movie allowed the expensive look because her character was being supported by a billionaire. In today's world, you would have to be at least a millionaire to afford the latest trends from the trendiest designers.

Women's clothes, accessories, jewelry and cosmetics can be very expensive when you add it all up, and can be almost unlimited in how much the markup is, based on the trend and label. I would have to ask why a couple is spending a lot of their budget on this kind of thing. Is he buying her stuff to impress her with gifts (bribery) or is he trying to make her feel beautiful for herself? Is she doing it to feel "presentable" for him, or to impress their friends? Is she wanting lots of expensive personal care to shore up a weak sense of confidence in herself? Or is it to look professional for work?

If there are children involved, by the time a couple has attracted each other, and become bonded, perhaps a better use of the money, beyond the basics and occasional special treats, would be for the children's education and for the family's future.

I caution a man to look at how a woman he is interested in dresses and evaluate if he can maintain the same level of style for himself and for her. If she is intending to be a stay at home mother, he will have to earn enough to pay for her style or he will have to love her and appreciate her without the enhancements.

Some men purposefully want a woman to dress less nicely once they begin dating to keep her from being as attractive to other men; they think it will reduce the temptation for her to cheat on him. This shows a lack of self-confidence in the man, and is a red flag for me, since it can be a sign of a controlling and/or jealous, mistrustful nature.

I used to be a model, and one time I went out with a guy who treated me like a dress up doll. I was just something to put clothes on for him. I liked the fancy clothes, but his obsession with my outer appearance made it difficult for him to see the person I was underneath the paint and fabric. At times I felt I could have been substituted with a good airplane or an expensive car.

Too much focus on the outer appearance can delude you into thinking that all problems are superficial ones and prevent personal growth and maturity. Men, in particular, since they are so very visual, can be tempted to see women as objects to be manipulated and be surprised when the person shows through, and has thoughts and ideas of her own.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 1/1/2011 7:27:37 PM
"I am a human being, not a human doing.

Don't equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life.
You aren't what you do.
If you are what you do, then when you don't... you aren't."

~ Wayne Dyer

“We no not attract that which we want but that which we are.”

~ James Allen


“Be not the slave of your own past.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Fear knocked on the door. Love answered, and no one was there.”

~ Anonymous

“The ability of thought and attention to physically alter the brain echoes one of Buddhism’s more remarkable hypothesis: that will is a real, physical force that can change the brain.”

~ Sharon Begley-Train Your Mind, Change Your Brain

“Habit is habit, and not to be flung out of the window by any man, but coaxed down the stairs a step at a time.”

~ Mark Twain

“Take on difficulties while they are still easy; do great things while they are still small.
The sage does not attempt anything very big, and thus achieves greatness.”

~ Tao Te Ching 63 verse

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought.
It is founded on our thoughts. It is made up of our thoughts.
If one speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows one, like a shadow that never leaves.”

~ Dhammapada

“Every extension of knowledge arises from making conscious the unconscious.”

~ Frederick Nietzsche

“Paradigm-shattering experiments published in leading-edge, peer reviewed journals reveal that we’re bathed in a field of intelligent energy that fills what used to be thought of as empty space.
Additional discoveries show beyond any reasonable doubt that this field responds to us—it rearranges itself—in the presence of our heart-based feelings and beliefs.
And this is the revolution that changes everything.”

~ Greg Braden-The Spontaneous Healing of Belief

“The unconscious…is dangerous only when our conscious attitude towards it becomes hopelessly false.”

~ Carl Jung-Modern Man in Search of a Soul

“Self-esteem isn’t everything; it’s just that there’s nothing without it.”

~ Gloria Steinem-Revolution Within: A book of Self Esteem

“If I have lost confidence in myself I have the Universe against me.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 1/1/2011 7:23:09 PM

“An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie…”
~ Alexander Pope

"He that is good for making excuses is seldom good for anything else."
~ Benjamin Franklin

"He who excuses himself accuses himself."
~ Gabriel Meurier

"Difficulty is the excuse history never accepts."
~ Edward R. Murrow

"We have forty million reasons for failure, but not a single excuse."
~ Rudyard Kipling

"Excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure."
~ Don Wilder

"If you don’t want to do something, one excuse is as good as another."
~ Yiddish Proverb

"No one ever excused his way to success."
~ Dave Del Dotto
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
Nourishment - Quotes and Sayings About Food and Drink
Posted: 12/29/2010 9:16:13 PM
"People are so worried about what they eat between Christmas and the New Year,

but they really should be worried about what they eat between the New Year and Christmas."

- Author Unknown
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 12/10/2010 5:33:36 PM
“I slept and dreamt that life was joy,

I awoke and saw that life was service,

I acted and behold, service was joy.”

~ Rabindranath Tagore
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 12/9/2010 7:33:45 PM
“Don’t concern yourself with the faults of others.
Use the scouring powder of wisdom to keep the rooms of your own mind bright and spotless.
By your example, other persons will be inspired to do their own housecleaning.”

~ Paramahansa Yogananda

Sigh. But living neatly by example doesn't seem to inspire hoarders. They just get anxious about how hard it looks to be neat.

However, in general, this quote is a good admonishment to not be critical of others. Even hoarders. Compassion is in order.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 12/7/2010 11:54:16 AM
"It all depends on whether you have things, or they have you."
~ Robert A. Cook

"You can’t have everything, where would you put it?"
~ Steven Wright

"If Nothing Changes, Nothing Changes."

"One cannot collect all the beautiful shells on the beach.
One can only collect a few, and they are more beautiful if they are few."
~ Anne Morrow Lindberg

"Change your thoughts and you change your world."
~ Norman Vincent Peale

"Alone you can do it.
But it can’t be done alone."
~ Sandra Felton on support

"The only way around is through."
~ Robert Frost

"There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist,
or accept the responsibility for changing them."
~ Dr. Denis Waitley

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing.
The worst thing you can do is nothing."
~Theodore Roosevelt

"People often say that this or that person has not yet found himself.
But the Self is not something that one finds.
It is something one creates."
~ Thomas Szasz

"The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones."
~ William Faulkner

"I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."
~ William Ernest Henley

"A man can get discouraged many times but he is not a failure
until he begins to blame somebody else and stops trying."
~ John Burroughs (1837-1921 Author)

"Your life is filled with possibility.
Reach high, look forward and never give up.
The world is waiting for you."
~ Marian Wright Edelman

"There are many ways of going forward,
but only one way of standing still."
~Franklin D. Roosevelt

"Abundance is not something we acquire.
It is something we tune into."
~ Wayne Dyer (American Author)

"Not what I have, but what I do is my kingdom."
~ Thomas Carlyle (1795-1881 Scottish Author)

"To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are."
~ Anonymous

"Long-range planning does not deal with future decisions,
but with the future of present decisions."
~ Peter Drucker

"Striving for excellence motivates you;
striving for perfections is demoralizing."
~ Harriet Braiker

"Every really new idea looks crazy at first."
~ Alfred N. Whitehead

"The past does NOT equal the future!
It is in the moment of our decisions that our destinies are created!"
~ Anthony Robbins

"Doubt is a pain too lonely to know that faith is his twin brother."
-Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931 Lebanese Poet)

"Begin somewhere. You cannot build a life
on what you intend to do."
~ Liz Smith

"We must all suffer one of two things:
the pain of discipline or the pain of regret or disappointment."
~ Jim Rohn

"The valor that struggles is better than the weakness that endures."
~ George Hegel (17701831 German Philosopher)

"Every accomplishment begins with a decision to try."
~ Edward T. Kelly

"Want is a growing giant whom the coat of Have was never large enough to cover."
~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"What would life be like if we had no courage to attempt anything?"
~ Vincent Van Gough

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over again, expecting a different result."
~ Albert Einstein

"Don’t let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.
The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."
~ Earl Nightingale

"It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare,
it is because we do not dare that they are difficult."
~ Seneca

"Effort only fully releases it reward after a person refuses to quit."
~ Napoleon Hill

"Real success in life means the individual’s conquest of himself;
it means how he has bettered himself not how he has bettered his fortune.
The great question of life is not “What have I?, But What am I?"
~ William George Jord

Quotes compiled by and found at:

I am in the process of helping a serious hoarder for the last month. I wish reading these quotes would help him, but I am not sure it would help. It helps me to read them even so, since the problem seems insurmountable.

I have been researching ways to help, and not just be co-dependent with him. This hoarder is my ex. I am trying to help him get his home to a point at which it is safe for our children to visit him overnight, but I am really not sure it will happen by Christmas. It's gotten way worse in the seven years since we divorced. He hid the true extent of it from everyone. It's very sad.

The best Christmas present my kids could get from their father is a house they could safely visit...
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 12/7/2010 7:22:29 AM
"I had three pieces of limestone on my desk,
but I was terrified to find that they required to be dusted daily,
when the furniture of my mind was all undusted still,
and I threw them out the window in disgust."

~ Henry David Thoreau, Walden
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 12/7/2010 6:38:36 AM
"Without inspiration the best powers of the mind remain dormant.
There is a fuel in us which needs to be ignited with sparks."

~ Johann Gottfried Von Herder
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:36:26 PM
Christmas Dream

"Watch me now, here I go, all I needs a little snow!
Starts me off, sets the theme, helps me dream my Christmas dream,
Every year I dream it, hoping things will change,
An end to the crying, the shouting, the dying,
And I hope you will dream it too!

Its Christmas,
We've got to remember!

So, light the light, I'm home tonight,
I need you to warm me, to calm me, to love me!
To help me to dream my Christmas dream!

Crazy things, said and done,
Every single day but one!
Every night should, I believe,
Be the same as Christmas Eve,
Nights should all be silent,
Days should all slow down,
An end to the hurry, the noise and the worry!
And I hope you believe that too!

Its Christmas,
Does no one remember?

The whole world needs a Christmas dream,
We need it to warm us, to calm us, to love us,
To help us to dream our Christmas dream!"

~ Lyrics to Song sung by Perry Como, written by Tim Rice & Andrew Lloyd Webber,
the theme song to the film ‘The Odessa File’
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 12/4/2010 3:23:43 PM
"The more I have, the more I want.
The more I want, the less I have.

The less I have, the less I want.
The less I want, the more I have."

~ Anon
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 11/29/2010 12:35:25 PM
“We need 4 hugs a day for survival. We need 8 hugs a day for maintenance. We need 12 hugs a day for growth.”

~ Virginia Satir, family therapist

Twelve Hugs a Day for Good Mental Health!

“Hugging is healthy:
it helps the body's immune system;
it wards off depression;
it reduces stress;
it induces sleep;
it invigorates;
it rejuvenates;
and it has no unpleasant side effects.

Hugging is all natural:
it is organic;
it is naturally sweet;
it contains no pesticides,
no preservatives and no artificial ingredients;
and it is 100% wholesome.

Hugging is practically perfect:
there are no movable parts,
no batteries to wear out,
no periodic checkups;
it has low energy consumption and high energy yield;
it is inflation-proof;
it is nonfattening;
it requires no monthly payments and no insurance;
it is theft-proof, nontaxable, nonpolluting
and, of course, fully returnable.”

~ Unknown

"It has been said that we need at least 12 hugs a day to survive.
I think that kind words, compliments, heartfelt smiles and simple acts of caring can substitute for the hugs.
We need the good will and support of other people to be joyful just as we need the sun on our skin and the moonlight to shine on us at night.
So give and foster getting hugs from your loved ones. And laughs."

~ Lynne Namka, Ed. D.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 11/26/2010 9:44:26 PM
"I don't know why women want any of the things men have when one the things that women have is men."

~ Coco Chanel
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 11/26/2010 9:32:36 PM
"O curse of marriage,
That we can call these delicate creatures ours,
And not their appetites! I had rather be a toad,
And live upon the vapour of a dungeon,
Than keep a corner in the thing I love
For others’ uses."

~ Shakespeare, Othello. ACT III Scene 3.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 11/26/2010 9:14:05 PM
"…one of the great ironies of Western philosophy.
Its founding practitioner, Socrates, wrote nothing down--no philosophy, anyway;
and his greatest pupil so distrusted writing that he wrote dialogues,
a form that mimics the life of the spoken word."

~ John Churchill, From the Secretary: Inspiring Conversations in The Key Reporter. Vol 67, Number 4. P. 2., Summer 2002

"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him."

~ Robert Benchley, Unknown , born September 15, 1889

"Plato used the dialogue format because the exchange of views, the posing and answering of questions, showed that understanding is a living, dynamic process.
He distrusted writing because the settled character of the written word makes it look as if truth can be fixed and made to stand still.
It is worth remembering that this greatest advocate of the objective reality of truth also believed that our access to that truth was sustained in reasoned discussion."

~ John Churchill, From the Secretary: Inspiring Conversations in The Key Reporter. Vol 67, Number 4. P. 2., Summer 2002
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
Daily Quotes -- Part 2
Posted: 11/26/2010 9:06:53 PM

"I have gathered a posie of other men’s flowers, and nothing but the thread that binds them is mine own."

~ John Bartlett (of Bartlett's Familar Quotations)

I have enjoyed reading quotes and posting quotes to the DAILY QUOTES thread for a few years now.
That thread has gotten over 200 pages and is taking longer to load so I am starting a new thread here.

"It is a good thing for an educated man to read books of quotations."

~ Winston Churchill

I collect quotes I find interesting for a bunch of different reasons. It's a combination of what's on my mind, something I have gleaned from what I have been reading or researching lately, and some are from a collection of quotes I started long ago that helped me through some difficult times by inspiring me to see things differently.

So "difficult" becomes "challenge," becomes "opportunity" becomes "adventure."

I didn't make any comments about the quotes in the DAILY QUOTES thread because it wasn't my thread and the topic was simply "Daily Quotes." In this thread I might make some comments sometimes.

"Read not to contradict and confute, nor to believe and take for granted, nor to find talk and discourse, but to weigh and consider."

~ Francis Bacon, Of Studies, 1605

Disclaimer: Just so I don't get misunderstood here, I don't post quotes in response to other's quotes very often. I do that in the other forum topics sometimes. Please don't take offense if I indavertently post something after another person's quote and it doesn't seem like a correct response....most often I am not using this thread to intentionally have a dialogue with people. There are tons of those kind of forum threads already hear to choose from, and I am often just checking in and only staying a few minutes to post a quote I discovered and want to save.

"I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things."

~ Dorothy Parker

If you want to have a conversation, you can message me directly, or if you are out of my restrictions, just mention it here and I will message you if I can. Or, even better, start a thread about the topic you are interested in, and mention it here.

Having said that, anyone is welcome to post quotes here and to respond to my quotes. I particularly would like it if you see me post something incorrectly or give credit to the wrong author/source and correct me here.

If you do, please cite the author and source if you have one. It's OK to quote yourself, but then cite yourself.
In general, its not technically a "quote" if you are saying something for the first time here...but don't quote me on that one.

"...After all, all he did was string together a lot of old well-known quotations."

~ H.L. Mencken on Shakespeare

"A witty saying proves nothing."

~ Voltaire

"Actions speak louder than words."

~ Theodore Roosevelt

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."

~ Wilson Mizner

"Fresh ideas are not always the best ideas."

~ Fortune Cookie

"He who trains his tongue to quote the learned sages, will be known far and wide as a smart ass."

~ Howard Kandel

"You have the right to remain silent.
Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you."

~ Unknown
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2660 (view)
Posted: 11/22/2010 9:36:07 PM
“There is a difference between yelling and demoralizing.”

~ Heard in my office.

“I put myself on a diet, in which I avoided forming new opinions and quit defending the ones I had.
My wife liked this diet a lot—she thought the new slimmer version of my previously fat head was much more becoming.”

~ Anonymous, quoted by Gay Hendrix
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
are vaccines a dangerous health risk?
Posted: 11/22/2010 7:28:47 PM
If vaccines are so trustworthy and if vaccination is a panacea for every contagious disease, then perhaps everyone reading this should be investing in companies that produce vaccines. Because pretty soon they will be finding a way to convince every government to vaccinate all of their populations as a form of cheap medical care.

Everybody wants an easy fix. Take a pill, get a shot, cut out the offending part with surgery. Diseases are much more complex than that or we would have a cure for cancer and MS.

Sell something to the entire population of the world, and then find out a way to not have any liability for it if it isn't made right and you have the perfect product for making lots of profit with very little risk. Just pass the risk on completely to the customer. Oh, and you can't return it if it doesn't work for you. The perfect money-making scheme. And if you give them saline solution (salt water) instead of the vaccination, who would know? Nobody is checking anyway.

Sign me up for that...oh, wait, I already did. Too late for me. I hope everyone else wins the vaccination roulette wheel and has no problems at all.
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2658 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 8:27:47 PM
"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.
You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'

You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2657 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 8:25:40 PM
"Life rewards action."

~ Dr. Phil McGraw
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2656 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 8:23:19 PM
"If I were asked to give what I consider the single
most useful bit of advice for all humanity it would be this:

Expect trouble as an inevitable part of life
and when it comes, hold your head high,
look it squarely in eye and say,

'I will be bigger than you.
You cannot defeat me.'"

~ Ann Landers
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2655 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 7:33:07 AM
"You did what you knew then,

when you knew better, you did better."

~ Maya Angelou
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2654 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 7:14:08 AM
"Remember you don't want to cause a mess in your family life while trying to straighten out the house.
The house is for the family, so care is required to maintain love and good humour while making the change."

~ Sandra Felton, The Messies Manual
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2653 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 4:41:06 AM
"Everything stored away or hidden discreetly or indiscreetly is also stored in your mind and is subconsciously draining your mental energy.

Once discarded, it is discarded from your mind, and you are free from keeping mental tabs on it."

~ Don Aslett, Is There Life After Housework?
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2652 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 4:38:41 AM
San Francisco 49ers head coach Steve Mariucci once said, "I never wear a watch, because I always know it's now -- and now is when you should do it."
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2651 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 4:35:13 AM
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

~ Marianne Williamson
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2650 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 4:30:36 AM
"The truth is that our finest moments
are most likely to occur when we are feeling
deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.

For it is only in such moments,
propelled by our discomfort,
that we are likely to step out of our ruts
and start searching for different ways or truer answers."

~ M. Scott Peck
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2649 (view)
Posted: 11/21/2010 4:29:04 AM
"It is quite true what Philosophy says:
that Life must be understood backwards.

But that makes one forget the other saying:
that it must be lived—forwards.

The more one ponders this,
the more it comes to mean that life in the temporal existence never becomes quite intelligible,
precisely because at no moment can I find complete quiet to take the backward-looking position."

~ Søren Kierkegaard
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2647 (view)
Posted: 11/16/2010 8:52:00 PM
“A cousin of mine who was a casualty surgeon in Manhattan tells me that he and his colleagues had a one-word nickname for bikers: Donors.”

~ Stephen Fry (b. 1957) English comedian and actor
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 78 (view)
Beauty Secrets for those over the age of 50
Posted: 11/16/2010 8:49:00 PM
“The cosmetics industry should be promoting health and well-being;
instead it hypes an outdated notion of glamour and sells false hopes and fantasies.”

~ Anita Roddick (1942 - 2007) British founder of The Body Shop
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 2646 (view)
Posted: 11/16/2010 7:28:53 PM
“When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they 'don't understand' one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.”

~ Helen Rowland (1875 – 1950) U.S. humorist and journalist
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