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 Author Thread: Just turned 40...What is up with the Cougar thing???
 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Just turned 40...What is up with the Cougar thing???
Posted: 3/10/2013 10:38:17 AM
I honestly have always been attracted to older women (actually women of all legal ages). There is a more refined beauty to older women, in my view. Plus there's the added benefit of, in general, they no longer play the games that girls do.
 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 190 (view)
 
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 3/10/2013 9:42:13 AM
It's not harder for me. I wasn't getting dates in my 20's either, though I did make the mistake of stupidly diving into relationships first thing, I've since kicked that habit.
 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 110 (view)
 
Men with mustaches and/or beards, Why and what??
Posted: 3/9/2013 6:42:40 PM
Generally the most I'll have is a goatee. If I do grow out a beard it's just because I forget to shave having no one to impress. Eventually I do shave it down to a goatee or all gone though. If I was trying to impress, I'd likely keep just a goatee, trimmed. Why? I don't know. I've tried the clean shaven look and it doesn't really feel right to me and a full beard gets itchy.
 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
POF Profile Exaggerations/Lies... Most Common???
Posted: 3/9/2013 6:31:12 PM
Wish I could say. I never get to the point where I can find out a lie or not. Maybe the reason is I don't lie. I have no reason to, and I know that eventually the truth will come out.
 Dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Saving a friendship after being friends with benefits?
Posted: 3/9/2013 3:27:45 PM
You have to ask yourself, are you willing to be friends with him again? And more importantly, is he still willing to be friends with you since you basically told him you wanted nothing to do with him? I say this as a guy, he may not show it, but it's entirely possible that when you asked him to keep his distance, that that hurt him. He cared enough to be honest with you, then you bolted, is how it could look to him, and would look to me. If he is willing to be friends again, trust will have to be regained on your part. How easy or hard that will be will depend on him.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 398 (view)
 
Why are most men looking for Friends with Benefits?
Posted: 12/29/2007 2:17:11 PM

Because they're cheap, have no feelings, can have sex without loving someone, etc. They want to get their rocks off so they can concentrate on chasing some dollybird, taking her out on the town, etc. and then when they get horny, they have a fwb to screw over:(


Wow, sound bitter much? Besides, I think this post here says a lot about you as a person. I can't speak for anyone else, but I do love my friends, it may not be a romantic love, but there is more than one kind of love. Love for family, romantic love, and yes, even platonic love. IF I were to have a FWB type situation, there would be that platonic love for her, seeing as she would be my friend. Or maybe you just don't (at least didn't at the time of the quoted post) realize that the F in FWB stand for FRIENDS. Generally there is some sort of connection or bond between REAL friends, if you've never known that, either the knowledge or the experience, then I pity you for that.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Always a FWB, never a girlfriend!!
Posted: 12/28/2007 4:19:38 PM
The way I look at this OP is this, it's better to be in a FWB situation than to not even be in that much, if only for the release of sexual tension. Maybe I'm just biased here though, not that I've ever had a FWB situation, just that I've got so long without a relationship beyond a platonic friendship that even a FWB situation would be preferable to what I've got now, which is, relationship wise, nothing.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Why do women initiate more Breakups ?
Posted: 12/28/2007 3:21:56 PM
I can't say one way or the other, all I know though is that I have never initiated a break up. It has always been the women. Maybe that says something about me, maybe it says something about the women I've been with, I don't know, but it's the truth. Just my experience.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 83 (view)
 
What does music do for you
Posted: 12/26/2007 8:19:41 PM
Music does so much, pumps up adrenaline, soothes a weary soul, brings joy, brings sadness. Music truly is the universal language.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 132 (view)
 
When men get all GIRLIE.
Posted: 12/24/2007 12:11:45 AM
OP: All I can really say on this topic is that love makes fools of even the best and brightest. But hey, now that the shoe is on the other foot, maybe now you'll be a little more sympathetic towards men, though I doubt it. Men have had to put up with "doormat", to use your term, woman since practically the dawn of time, or at least the dawn of human history. Women have almost always filled the role of the "Yes Women", submissively subjecting themselves to the wills of men. Maybe it's about time that women started acting like the strong women we all know they are. Maybe it's about time that women started earning being equals. And maybe, just maybe, these "doormat" men are on some sub-conscience level just giving you a taste of "your" own medicine, and oh what a bitter medicine it is.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 63 (view)
 
“Viewed me” link on POF
Posted: 12/23/2007 11:52:37 PM
I do tend to check it, personally. Partly out of curiosity, partly to see if maybe there might be some sort of connection with the people who are looking at my profile, if I feel there might be, I'll send a basic message. Though I must say that so far there have only been a few that I've felt there might be any sort of connection, and none have responded to my messages, sometimes "Read", sometimes "Unread/Deleted", but most of the times "Read/Deleted". Rejection isn't easy to deal with, even when you've dealt with it more than success, but I keep on.

Actually, the method I use for people who view me is the same for the people who I view first as well.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Public opinion - is there 'the one'?
Posted: 12/23/2007 11:39:13 PM
If there is a "the one" all I can say is that nowhere is it written that we will meet that person. If it was to be that everyone had one person they were meant to fall in love with and meet them then not only would no one die young before knowing anything about this kind of love, but wouldn't that also kind of remove that whole "free will" issue? I mean look at it this way, if there is one person you are meant to be with then you have absolutely no say in the process, really.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Christmas Carols
Posted: 12/23/2007 11:20:16 PM
I really don't care for the "Traditional" Xmas songs, you know, the ones that start before Thanksgiving.

One's I do like on the other hand would be the "twisted" Xmas songs, like Twisted Sisters "Heavy Metal Xmas", or any of the parody songs by Bob Rivers, which include "I Am Santa Clause" which is a parody of "Iron Man" by Black Sabbath.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Clean shaven = trustworthy?
Posted: 12/23/2007 11:13:57 PM
Personally, yeah, I've got a very short beard and mustache. I shave it when it starts to bug me, but other than that I just let it be. Why? Because most of the time I just simply forget I have it, not because I have some nefarious secret to hide or what have you, actually I'm quite open if I'm asked. And the thing is, I'm about as nice a guy as you could hope for.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
 
what do you think of when you listen to music?
Posted: 12/14/2007 11:03:17 PM

what do you think of when you listen to music?

Y'know.....stuff and....things.


Someone else who thinks about things... and stuff. (Sorry, couldn't resist the Futurama reference there.)

In all seriousness though, I generally just get swept away with the song if it's one I like or one that really moves me. If it's not one of those I just tend to zone it out.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What do you do when you're all alone?
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:29:51 PM
OP: I pretty much know how you feel. It's hard when you don't know anybody, or at most only a few people tops. For me, the only people I really know where I live are family, and that's not immediate either (uncle, aunt, and cousins). Even then, I don't see them all that often. I have no friends where I live, even after working two jobs in this area in the past two years. The major difference between us I think is that I've accepted being alone. While yeah, it would be nice to be with someone, or to have friends nearby, they aren't required. On the last part, I empathize completely. I honestly don't know how to integrate into society either, though being an outsider of society you get to see it as it is, the good and the bad. But you know, despite all of that, if we were closer to each other I would be glad to spend time with you, to be your friend. You seem like a genuinely good person despite your past. But the most I can do given our locations is offer a long distance friendship, if you will accept it.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What your musical development?
Posted: 12/12/2007 9:54:40 PM
Not that it matters when I was born, but was born in '79.

Grew up listening to nothing but would now be considered "oldies".
Mid to late 90's I started getting into 80's rock, mostly Pre-Load Metallica.
2000 to present has remained pretty much the same, though less emphasis on Metallica, and more recently (around a year, year and a half, ago) I really got into the "Dark Wave" band The Cruxshadows.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
NY Times: Man Held by C.I.A. Says He Was Tortured
Posted: 12/11/2007 3:26:52 PM

Jemue, if you are so passionate about protecting Islamic warlords why don't you start a group or an Islamic organization the promotes the safty to Osama Bin Laden and his followers? Or, you could start a group like the ACLU within Iraq or Afganistan. I am sure the people of Islam would love to have you arrive in their country to teach them about Western ideas and laws. Jemue, don't you think of yourself, think of God and doing what is right. God wants you to choose a side; you know what is right....You know that there can only be on side that is good. . Are the people of Afganistan the bad people, or, are the people of the US the bad people? Pick a side and join the fight if you are so passionate about what is going on the world!


Wow. Just... wow. That sounds exactly like the thinking of the people you seemingly hate. It's not right for them, and it's not right for you. Do you honestly think your god would want you to murder, as you seem so anxious to do? Here I thought it was preached in the Bible to "love thy neighbor", not "love thy neighbor, unless he is of a different religion". You are just as bad as these terrorists, if only in your mentality if not your actions. As far as picking a side goes, I've picked the side of peace. I've picked the side that hasn't been blinded by the governments lies, hasn't been blinded by anger and hate, the tools of the current administration.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 12/11/2007 11:37:15 AM
OP: I'm almost right there with you. While, from what you said, it seems impossible for a relationship to work out for you, for me it's worse, it seems impossible for me to even get into a relationship. Personally, I've given up the search, that's not to say that if a good relationship found me that I would reject it but I'm not holding my breath, and for the most part I'm content with being single. About the only part of a relationship that I really miss is the physical closeness. I don't mean like sex, just the being near someone, the cuddling, that sort of thing.

For those who automatically jump to the "get help" line of thinking, not everyone can afford this help you think should be gotten. Unless you are willing to pay for it... but even then, there's always the chance that the money would be wasted. No, I'm not being pessimistic, just realistic.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Commitment phobic
Posted: 12/10/2007 12:24:47 PM
OP: There are some very legitimate reasons for a person to be afraid of commitment, what I think you need to do is look deep within yourself and see if it's more than just a fear of possibly being hurt, and regardless try to find the cause of the fear. If the cause is something that you can control, then you need to do so for your own sake.

Honestly, I don't know that I'll ever be in a serious, committed, relationship, not because I'm afraid of being hurt but the opposite. I expect to be hurt. Sure, one might possibly come along, and when/if it does I'll think I'm so head over heels for the girl. I know I can trace my problem to it's source. For me it was the man (and I use the term loosely here) that calls himself my father, combined with my parents divorce. The divorce started the downhill slide for me, and I have since gotten over it. The rest, well, some wounds never heal. Sometimes we will do anything to avoid being like the one who hurt us that it hurts any efforts we might make with people in general, no matter how hard we try.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Appreciate these forums....
Posted: 12/10/2007 12:09:32 PM
Some people are just mean, or lack common human decency, or have no tact, or any number of reasons, none of which are good things. It's best to just ignore them, and, like the internet saying goes, "Don't feed the tolls." My guess would be that these people either never heard, or choose to ignore, the old saying "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Ever just had a gut feeling?
Posted: 12/10/2007 11:12:27 AM
First I want to say congrats on finding someone that you just seem to connect with like that.

As for the whole gut feeling thing, yes. I always follow my gut instinct, and temper it with a healthy dose of common sense. Though on here I have to say that it's only been on people who I thought I could at least be friends with if nothing else, I don't know why they never responded, but oh well, it's their loss as far as I'm concerned.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Are there any guys out there who actually do what they say they're going to?
Posted: 12/9/2007 5:18:41 PM

Many a time I have started talking to a guy for a while, he says he 'really' wants hang out and that he'll call me (usually the next day) to make plans, or I should call him. Almost every time, either they never call [ever] or they don't answer when *I* call. I don't understand. If you don't actually want to hang out, why not just SAY that instead of saying that you are going to call me and make plans then never doing so, or just not answering when I call/ignoring instant messages?


I can't say for other guys, but when I say I'll do something, I do it. If I say I'll call, I'll call. If I say I'll be somewhere, I'll be there if at all humanly possible, and I'll be there when I say I will be there. But that's just how I decided to be.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What if Internet Dating didn't exist
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:14:47 PM
If there wasn't Internet Dating? Well, seeing as how I see every woman I see out in the real world as either family (surrounded by family), taken, or not interested (as in not interested in me as a person, or as in me as a man), I would do about the same thing as I do now, well the results would be the same anyways. That is to say that the results would be that I get completely ignored. Am I bitter about that? No. I'm actually fine with being single, for the most part. In the end, my dates would be non-existent, kinda like now.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 11/8/2007 7:14:42 PM

Draco, at 28 you are pretty young and I don't think it means anything to have not been married. I am talking about men my age in their mid 4o's... I just find the divorced ones better partners, and they compromize much easier.
Penny


I know I'm young still, physically speaking, and odds are I have a long life ahead of me, but the fact remains that I don't see myself getting married at any age. While I know that it's possible that I might, by chance, come across some one who just completely blows my mind and there is that chemistry, and who knows, maybe even makes me believe in love as I once did again, I'm just not expecting it in my life time. And honestly, I'm alright with that. At least I'll be able to say that I had once loved with all my being, even if that love wasn't returned.

I don't think age really has anything to do with compromising. At nearly 28, I'm about as flexible as it comes in general. As I said in my previous post, I'm really not all that picky. That doesn't just apply to what I look for in women, but in life in general.

Regardless, I wish you the best of luck in your search.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Why is it more accetable to be divorced rather than never married if someone is 30+
Posted: 11/8/2007 1:00:53 PM
Honestly, I'm fast approaching 30, going to be 28 in under a month. I have never been married, and I can't see it happening any time soon. Not because I'm "set in my ways" or whatever excuse people want to make for not even giving a never married person the time of day, much less a chance. I have had my share of experiences, some of which a divorced person are less likely to have experienced, but I won't get into that here. Some of which I was directly involved in (unrequited love that in the end shatters your entire perception of the emotion, anyone?), some of which I was indirectly involved in (parents divorced, there wasn't a custody battle, more like a custody war that lasted years, starting when I was 12 or so).

Personally, I would have no problem "dating" a divorced person or a never married person. I look at the person as who they are in the present, not at who they were in the past. I really don't even have high expectations, the physical, the superficial, isn't important to me, looks fade after all, all I really look for is a good person, someone I can feel comfortable with.
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 46 (view)
 
We're winning
Posted: 11/3/2007 12:41:49 PM

Now that it's clear that we are winning in Iraq, how are the politicians who have done everything from warning the enemy to our movements six months in advance, to calling our soldiers terrorist, to saying we can't win, or even stating that we lost,-How are they gonna save face. Are they gonna try to take credit for the victory? Or, are they gonna deny that they made their foolish statements?


How is it clear we are winning in Iraq? And when was a formal declaration of war made on Iraq? The only war declaration I ever remember hearing was against an enemy that can not be warred, that being terrorists. War is between two nations, not between a nation and a group of individuals. Speaking of, what ever happened to the War on Terror? Or is that just another loss for America?

Also, I wouldn't call an endless occupation of a foreign country a victory, especially since Iraq isn't exactly what any sane person would consider all that stable. After all, if it were stable there would be no need for an American military presence, now would there? And I'd be willing to bet that things aren't going to look better any time soon, in fact, I'd be willing to bet that they will get worse before they get better.

As others have said, in war no one wins. To continue that, I would go so far as to say that in war, humanity loses.

In the end you need to prove that we are "winning". The burden of proof, not broad, inaccurate information, lays with you. So when this "war" is declared a failure, how are you going to save face? Are you going to keep quiet and change the subject when ever it comes up, or going to deny you ever made such a foolish remark?
 dracoa79
Joined: 9/23/2007
Msg: 247 (view)
 
The one thing you miss most when you are single
Posted: 10/21/2007 12:24:24 PM
I think the thing I miss most since I'm single is just the closeness, the cuddling, and just being near that someone, even more than the sex. Yeah. I always enjoyed the sex, but I think the main thing that let me go to sleep happy (or if it was a morning/midday encounter, walk away happy later) afterwards was laying there with with my arm around her, just holding her close.
 
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