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 Author Thread: Sending messages but not showing up in the sent message area
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 341 (view)
 
Sending messages but not showing up in the sent message area
Posted: 10/18/2014 11:45:51 AM
I am trying to edit or delete this message, got real confused about all the probelms people have sending messages listed above, so, when you want to unsend a message or a post, you can't do that.

So I guess this shall remain, ehh?

Please read the above messages because I can't edit this message because you won't let nme deketet us it so if someone did use a bad woord how could they delete it
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 340 (view)
 
Sent emails not showing up in the sent box or receiving a System Message disallowing contact.
Posted: 10/18/2014 11:42:37 AM
No one has fixed this since you wrote that months ago...and others wrote it years ago. And we are the "bad guys" here. I wish the moderators would do something.

Hard to believe there are folks here criticing us for getting a "message succesfully sent" mssg, and it wasn't. Talk about deceptive messaging. Shall we, no we shan't. (ps is "shan't" one of the words or terms or algorithms that is not allowed). It is hard to talk on a dating site about DATING AND ROMANCe AND LOVE, if you can't use discuss those relationships.
 YingKissesYang
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 339 (view)
 
Sent emails not showing up in the sent box or receiving a System Message disallowing contact.
Posted: 10/18/2014 11:41:16 AM
Now I know why some women say they don't know what I am talking about not sending a message thanks for wasting my time on long "interesting" replies. I've had a hard time explaining to some women who were interested and were corresponding, why I didn't answer thier messages BEcause I inluded a lot of information. Do the math 2x3x4x5 = impossible odds of sending a long romantic message.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
What's my play here? Do I bother talking to her?
Posted: 1/4/2009 2:55:41 PM
""""I see her out one night, she notices the second I walk in the building and texts me. """

That is truly amazing! She saw ya right away huh? Truly, God has a plan for you two. I see a match made in heaven, two equal minds, yet joined at the hip.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 55 (view)
 
POOF....he/she 's gone!!!
Posted: 1/3/2009 12:02:56 PM
. Anenigma said: """"did it make me feel better to have 'closure' ? NOPE, not one iota. In some ways, I'd have rather NOT known that I was not his first choice. Really, did I need to know that??? Nah...bottom line was 'he wasn't that into me' and the end result is the same; he was gone!"""

Truer words have not been written. It seems such obvious advice we give to others, but it is so hard when it happens to us individually.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
A Story Open for Opinions
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:46:49 AM
"""Should she expect him to re-assure her and make an affort to gain her trust or is he corect when saying that because she stayed and supported him she can't use that against him and be insecure?"""

That is a legitimate question. Have you gotten your answer and he too hopefully?

Yes, he should reassure her somehow. Should she "expect" it, well no....expectations are a resentment waiting to happen someone once said.

Is he correct? Sort-of. She should not "use it against him" nor is he off the hook...

THE TWO PEOPLE NEED A PLAN! Make a "plan", a timetable, with agreements to what is "expected" and that's ok to expect things you formally agree to. Is he getting therapy? Does she recognize the warning signs. Are both being open and honest? Or does one or the other "hide" their thoughts about this?

I say this because, I am a man who was in this spot. And the lady never said a peep in language I could understand.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Concerning the Nature of God.
Posted: 1/3/2009 11:00:15 AM
"""" from a philosophical view point; bear with me because it's fairly deep.

God is good: This is where we get our concept of morality. God is Good because God IS GOODNESS. Goodness is that which comes from God. God and morality are one in the same. In a practical nature, this means that God would not command humans to… say, "bite off your neighbor's ear," because that is NOT good. """"

Well, its not that D-E-E-P, but deeper than most forum postings. The whole argument, or question does rest on one prime concern, does God really exist? That would make the point mute.

I firmly espouse that "We are nothing but stardust" and "life" is an unusual result of that, because it evolves, we are not perfect. We are monkeys with no hair and 3% different DNA. Our shiit stinks, it is not perfect. That is the answer to questions of God that have no answer. Of course, I think that's D-E-E-P, since it is the correct answer. Because, we cannot answer questions of "what if" if the "If" doesn't exist, and another "correct" set of facts exist. It would be like making up laws of physics that break the laws of physics. It does make for good drunken debate, on rare occasions.

What if we just changed the OP a little and made up an imaginary character, lets call him "Joe God", what shall we start discussing is true or false of this man that doesn't exist?

For example this """"their god created man's natural, animalistic tendencies such as lust, hate, greed, jealousy, etc.""" Not at all! Why? Those did not exist before life. Can we say one bacteria eating another is "greedy"? No we can't, for if that didn't happen, or if there was no lust, there would be no further life.

That is also why we die and dead stuff stinks. It's required by the laws of entropy. We do have brains, more advanced than most life on Earth, and probably less advanced than some other stellar systems evolution. I do feel sorry for our Bonobo and Chimp relatives, and all other life we are destroying wrecklessly to increase our kind, because we are selfish in a biologically normal way. But, our instincts have gone awry. Our brains give us power, let's use it to become spiritual and "Godly", if that's possible.
And not just what you or I or others think is "spiritual" if it benefits us.

No, I do not know where the particles of time and space came from. That knows no "good" or "evil". There isn't an evil "particle" in the Universe. Humans define good and bad. "Social problems are what people say they are" is a very common theory sociology. It is perhaps then arguable that "murder" or "rape" isn't evil in the big scheme of things, and isn't that what we are talking about?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Almost a Pretty Woman scenario...
Posted: 12/24/2008 10:44:02 AM
""""I really am interested in this woman...but...I fear that getting involved with her, may slow me down in such a way that I might regret it later...She HAS potential...but...the thing is someone is ALWAYS going to have to be willing to work with her, and maybe take a little time out of their life to help her understand...Neither of us have ever been married, nor have children...""""

I don't know where or how you should or could proceed. This is a tuff case. If she really is damaged goods, I don't know if you are the man for her. But, if somehow you two could "establish things" and certain boundries, if BOTH OF YOU are capable of that...then there is some potential. I.e, ARE YOU mature enough to handle it? Or are you gonna go gaga gaga when the sex starts, let her move in, buy her a car, get her a cell phone, and give her a credit card....and the buys drugs with it, has her other boyfriends over, and tells you to go fuk yourself or something? I.e, YOU HAVE READ A LOT OF THREADS HERE RIGHT?

Or, SHE MIGHT BE A WINNER! Already, with street smarts, ambition, a never quit attitude learned from all the hard knocks she's had. Some people are like that, many aren't.

Just make sure you both have BOUNDRIES and establish some EXPECTATIONS and GO SLOW...before buying her that car.....


"""" in 5 years...She will learn a lot from you, go on trips with you, and be a whole new woman.... at the end she would leave you! """"

That does happen too, its a very natural cycle. The "child" grows up and want's to leave the mentor, etc.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Why do women say they seek Long Term Relationship
Posted: 12/23/2008 10:02:41 AM
"""Why do women on here say they seek a Long Term Relationship when the reality is they are going on multiple dates and keeping multiple contacts going at the same time?"""

I think they are trying to avoid guys like you....DO A THREAD SEARCH NEXT TIME. and please people "CLICK TO DELETE" these inane naive repetitive threads.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Should I stay or should I go?
Posted: 12/23/2008 10:00:16 AM
""""7. So now it's a matter of days before he is meant to arrive and we still have no itinerary in hand, BUT I decide I'm going to try not to sweat the small stuff. After all, it's the bigger picture that's important here. The point of which is that he's coming to visit, and very soon, right? Right? Exactly.""""

This in a nutshell is YOUR ERROR. its not the bigger picture, its not a nutshell, its not "the point is", not "very soon" not "exactly".

So working back from problem 7., somewhere you should have decided "well this really is a clusterfuk, and hey, if you show up and I'm home, great we can meet....but I was planning to go to the grocery store that day and vacuum a bit".

No, by the time you got to #7., you should have given up way earlier. 3 STRIKES AND YOU ARE OUT is my motto.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
 
True Love
Posted: 12/21/2008 12:51:21 PM
Hmm, this is an obscure forum for this thread, which explains why I get to respond first.

I agree with those 4 "aspects". But this is not a perfect world we live in. Love is a spiritual act, that evolved from simpler animal survival needs. If all 4 of those "aspects" really needed to be present, I don't think we would have 6 billion people on Earth.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Change- oh the horror
Posted: 12/21/2008 9:48:52 AM
"""Why do men get upset when they believe a woman is trying to change them?"""
I wasn't aware of this. A much bigger problem on a global scale is women who get upset when men try to change them. Its too bad for that guy with the dirty shorts, he had a perfect woman I bet. And, OP now knows what POFer's think of GENERALIZATIONS!

"""I believe in personal growth and that the 2 people involved compliment each other's differences. The hope is that it is a mutual effort and that change is a natural evolution of the relationship."""

Well that's a good start. I can relate too. I was in a fun loving relationship for three years, trying desperately to figure out what she "really" wanted aside from the cliches of "a friend, someone to do things with, and a good kisser". Why can't women communicate this?

Anyways, one day to my surprise there was an odd note taped to my back door...saying that my house was too messy, it "affected" our relationship (when I asked how, I just got more cliches), my ex could report me, "you need help"...ok. I got help, I went to a counselor a week later every week, got put on some meds for depression and ADD, sold some junk on craglish, etc. Then two weeks later she dumps me, ok smooth.

One of her cliches was "neither one of us wants to change". Sounds good right ladies and gentlemen? Hmm, a little change on her part would have been nice, not just cliches and "hints".
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
would you go help
Posted: 12/20/2008 12:37:36 PM
"""" earlier in the week he thought he would have some friends of his son coming over but they didn't show.""""

Hmmm sounds familiar. Same exact kinda thing happened to me a year ago exactly today!!!! GF called at 11am came over to help empty living room so I could get new carpet on Monday, alcoholic neighbor was supposed to show earlier, but didn't. Turns out he did at 9am and knocked real quietly.

Anyways IF YOU DO GO OVER, YOU CAN'T GET MAD ABOUT ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS OK?

My GF got mad that I wasn't prepared more, dumped me that day, we got back together 3 weeks later..but. Gees YOU can't get mad if you go over there and he does get mad, understand?

I mean his other GF might be there packing his cases of porn, are you ok with that?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
A question about being rejected
Posted: 12/20/2008 12:32:59 PM
Cassaggoogo?......Are you currently on vacation in LaLa Land? Everything you just sed is preposterous, ridiculous, outrageous, like zinfandel and Zoolander on cracks.

So, you really think every guy who dates you gets married a few days later and lives happily ever after just because of you?

Try this, do a marketing promo, give a way some free HJ's or BOGO BJ's. You've got 48 hours. Obviously you've got to do this Before all the family comes over for Xmas.

Think Positive, ignore the weirdos, and don't dump all your garbage on the first date.

Come back here in a couple days and let us know how your luck has changed.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 141 (view)
 
I called my girlfriend a PIG by mistake... What do I do now?
Posted: 12/20/2008 12:17:13 PM
"""Buy her a diamond tennis bracelet for Christmas because you're in big trouble."""

Do not listen to these women! They are all in Cahoots, sure a $400 tennis bracelet will get you one more date, but is that all you want?

Listen to this perennial dating site wise man: DO NOT CALL HER for 3 days. You don't want to ruin her fun. She is just having a blast right now, probably soaking in a bubble bath, chatting on her golden corded fone to all her BFF's on 3 way, just laughing and poking at YOU! Can you hear them now "Ha Ha, your boyfriend finally called you a pig "by mistake"? Jim and Tatum always do that to me "by mistake". Do I make them pay, oh do I, Tatum bought me an Ipod skin and Faux Diamond stud Ping Pongs"

That's what you will get if you let these ladies play you for a fewl.

Is that what you want? Or do you want to be her MAN! Be a man! You already apologized as best you can by sending her pictures of you and pig, I can't think of anything you could do, except hold out until she begs you for it! Then call her a pig and see if she doesn't respond with a more favorable "oink oink, I luv sausage".

edit: Oh, ic you had sex, never mind. was that cuz you did buy her a tennis racket?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
First relationship. advice for first timers.
Posted: 12/20/2008 9:39:49 AM
And get rid of your freak profile, my God, I've never read such a pile of crap. What if she does?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
How do you tell someone that you love they make you miserable?
Posted: 12/20/2008 9:36:30 AM
"""" are asking different questions. No, you can't control it, but that doesn't mean you have to be miserable either. avoid general words like 'miserable'. Use specific words, not just complaining.
And yes, leaving them is plan B if that doesn't work. Don't just not talk to them like some kind of punishment until they change. That won't work."""

Gotta agree with this one for sure. Remember, you think they are crazy and cruel, and they think you are crazy and weird, Right? So pray for them too to get "Health Happiness and Prosperity" and PICK YOUR BATTLES, don't argue about how many teaspoons of sugar in a cake recipe or how long to marinade the roast.

But BE PREMPTIVE, if you have plans for the weekend say "Well, what do you think we should do this weekend...its Marys Bday, and I'd like to take a walk with you sometime, and you said you wanted to change the oil....." How do YOU think we should do things?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Am i being played? please tell me im not :(
Posted: 12/19/2008 10:26:01 AM
Ok, well since you wrote this today...how's about we all give it a little tiny bit more time to see what happens???? How's that sound for starters....

In the meantime (like the next 4 hours or so...LOL) since this is a LTR as of 1:10am this morning. BE COOL DUDE. You get what you pay for. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Don't call her for 8 hours, if you can wait that long. KEEP IT LITE! No need to tell her you are in love this afternoon (it's only been 8 hours), GO TO A MOVIE, kiss her little bit, get a handjob, eat some ice cream, kiss her goodnite and say "I had a good time".

If she "talks about the ex" ask her nicely "Please, let's don't talk about him now" and likewise, don't you be saying "When are you gonna get over your ex". JUST DON'T TALK ABOUT IT OK?

If your relationship lasts until tomorrow, well, you have succeeded.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Clinical Depression and having a relationship
Posted: 12/19/2008 10:21:22 AM
Hey this is good news! OP wrote """" I will use to the suggestion of exercise..i work on my feet ( walking, lifting,)....but i find a long walk clears my head even if it is only for 15 minutes.
I dont feel as though my boyfriend is using me, because he is always here for me. If i am upset he doesnt have to ask me, he knows and tells me he loves me everyday. He even admits he does not know what he can do to help me, and i remind him that it isnt his reponsibility. He helps out my dad alot too"""

Good deal. Lots of other good advice: Find a medication that does help, get a counselor or GO TO A GROUP so you can "vent", ASK YOUR BOYFRIEND for more specific helpful help, PREPARE HIM to what your plans, needs, and expectations are. Please don't leave him "wondering" what you need or want. Of course, be thoughtful and polite if want help or don't want to see him. Tell him "I love you, but I am real busy today" or "I have so much to do today, if you could help me do the yard and wash the cars, I'll bake you a cake and pop out of it naked" (ok, that's what I'd want).

TRY YOGA and or other FULL BODY EXERCISE. I don't know, walking just wears me out and my legs are sore. I love stretching and yoga, makes me feel 10 years younger and balanced from head to toe.

And I'm depressed, take prozac (for now) tried others....I "live with it". "Fake it till you make it" I don't let my problems burden others UNNECESSARILY. I try and smile and say please and thank you a lot etc. Remember others may be worse off than you!
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Difference Between Whats Right and Whats Expected
Posted: 12/19/2008 10:11:57 AM
"""if the person in question doesn't know you have a particular timetable (or expectation) of when something should be done, you need to COMMUNICATE that expectation.

Otherwise, the person in question is a victim of an unknown timetable, and constantly subjected to your disappointment (or punishment, depending on how you express the fact that your expectations are not met)"""

This is an interesting point about an obvious example. Yes, you are right, I feel "victim" of that. You are with someone who says 2-3 times a day "I love you" and you get birthday cards, and sex once a week, and hold hands...but when you ask them "what do you really want" or "what are your expectations" or "how can we have a better relationship", you don't get an answer. Perhaps they do wish to communicate a helpful reply, BUT CAN'T!

Or they think a "cliche" such as "I want us to be happy" , or "I want to do things and hang out" is the same as a real answer.

However, I don't know if this would have helped the OP or his ex.

NEXT TIME CHOOSE CAREFULLY PEOPLE. Especially if you move in!
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Do you suffer from feeling out of their league?
Posted: 12/17/2008 2:55:04 PM
I would first do a forum search, and make a thread posting your top 10 best answers you find.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Depressed and confused
Posted: 12/17/2008 2:54:16 PM
"""Its not that I don't want her to find a good genuine guy but this guy...little prick..why him ...why the hell him!! You know the people you just hate normally without them doing anything stupid or saying anything to piss you off?""""

I'm impressed! Your too chicken to ask a woman out, so you hate on a guy who hasn't even done anything to dislike? Way to go Slick! So, whatcha gonna do if you meet someone who really does offend you? Can't wait to read your thread on that one.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 42 (view)
 
How come so many people seem to be clueless about sex?
Posted: 12/17/2008 9:02:50 AM
"""And these coming from ADULTS....
I just don't get it. When/why/how did we fail as a society to teach our youth about sex? """

What are you talking about? ADULTS, or YOUTH? Youth shouldn't know a whole lot about sex. Some "kids" might lose their virginity at 14 or 16 or 18...others might wait a while, or just be "slow". I was slow.....(LOL).

But no 16 yo really needs to know much about Gspots, the tantra, let alone anal sex, snowballing, snowmen, "sasquatch", cleveland clams, kissin cousins, the wings of Venus, Apollos poison spear, or gold mining. Is that the advanced stuff you're talking about?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 63 (view)
 
New Profile Field.
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:56:31 AM
Personality

AverageShyStrong Silent TypeOutgoingVery Out GoingIntellectualAdventurerArtsy/CreativeReligious/Spiritual
WorkaholicOptimistic, Funny,Spontaneous, Frugal, Carefree,
Sexy, Sweet, Agressive, Dark,Dominant, Friendly,
Conscientious ,Emotional, Laidback,
Pessimistic, Cynical,Pragmatic, Cold, Competitive,
Patient,Relaxed,Easy-going

If there is room LET US RANK THEM say even 4 or more of them
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 34 (view)
 
What makes someone classy?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:54:28 AM
"""service workers..... were discussing one of the Bankers, and one man said ..... "I have to say he is a real gentleman." """

That's a good start. There are many ways we can be "classy". First of all, is having a genuine concern and empathy for others. Some "world class" manners, politely spoken, making eye contact. Dressing appropriately, whatever the event.

Like others said describing oneself as "classy" or "I'm honest" or saying "I really care about people" is the first sign to me the person does not. OH, once in a blue moon I will say "I pride myself on honesty and openness" if I am asked.

Whether one is a waitress or cab driver, doctor, celebrity, or preacher, I judge their class by the small things they do. But the more you try to impress me, the less it works.

Some people have a strange sense of humor, or take pride in being "counterculture". Hopefully as we mature, our fashions and fads fade and our real self shows through.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How to deal with Exes... Advice?
Posted: 12/17/2008 8:41:51 AM
"""I'm not sure I wanna touch this one!!
It sounds to me like you both need to do a little growing up. (Respectfully)"""

No kidding, next time ANYONE calls or texts you more than once...HANG UP! That's for starters. Then, if this person does anything except have a decent respectful conversation, you tell them "Please don't talk to me like that again.......""

Of course, it also means both of you need some "normal" and moral rules about hanging out with "ex's". One thing is no "private" get togethers, no trips to the mountains, no hotels for the conference, no late nite dinners alone. Nor, should drinking be involved.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
.....what are his intentions??
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:41:04 PM
"""after he is done spreading your legs he's going to tire of the age difference and go back to his wife"""
get it??? find a nice boy your own age.

Yep, that's what I would do. Good lucky Honey, maybe try a different forum.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Are Women Dying In The War On Love?
Posted: 12/15/2008 1:29:20 PM
Really, do you think we have a friking clue about this; a complicated, controversial, and specialized field of knowledge. Are you asking how many women have contemplated suicide? Or men? Are you asking if we are qualified to judge if its worse now than before? Or are you just sensationalizing a sensational headline, to get headlines?

suicide is not good for anyone. And I haven't done it nor do I know many who have. Thank god only 1/1000 people do it, maybe less. Women might have "more emotions" than men, or different emotions. Hopefully, being a woman is not a particularly large factor in suicide. Drugs, abuse, isolation, stress of raising kids, ok contributes to poor decisions. but It should be about 50%.

"""" Sometimes I wish more women would spend more time thinking about what they could do to be a better catch than complain why no man they want will catch them. ....The big difference is most men don't b*tch and moan even ten percent as much as most women do about how hard things were in the "past""""".

You are bitching and moaning right now! There is our guys 10% at least. I'll bet a lot of women wish men would spend more time thinking what they could do to be a better catch, than complain why women could spend more time thinking what they could do to be a better catch.

HILARIOUS! Get em cereal! Another wise man.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Written off to easy
Posted: 12/14/2008 3:18:29 PM
Well this is rare....someone is not blaming the opposite sex for their problems. JUST KEEP TRYING. If you are like me, maybe when you are in your 40's you might after all get a tiny idea what makes a few women happy. And that knowledge should be a Nobel Prize category.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
is this disrespect?
Posted: 12/14/2008 3:14:50 PM
""""Your friends seem to be oblivious to the concept of self respect. I was reading this thinking it was the all too common 20-something story about kids treating sex like it was a game of musical chairs, and then I read the guy is 48. Some kids never grow up."""

Give your friend some secrets of wisdom: don't put your finger in a pencil sharpener; if your clothes are on fire, stop drop and roll; there are no legit Nigerian millionaires sending her emails, if a guy says he needs to kiss her titties for a scientific study, he is probably horney (but I am a scientist), Also PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE....Tell her babies do not come from the stork.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why true romance is withering away.
Posted: 12/14/2008 11:21:44 AM
"""" Im not self centered"""
"""I have put 100% into women that at best give me 50% back"""
"""My problem is I try to hard and should pace myself,but I dont and Im a perfectionist""" so """I do everything too right""""
""""why cant women trust someone that proves thereself ,especially over and over again""""

"""Some women are incapable of returning something they have never had before.Thats another wall I go through,or not how ever you look at it."""

If that isn't self-centered delusional thinking, I don't know what is. You really think you put in 100% and women only put in 50%? Come on, step one is to admit you are powerless, and then stop blaming others and look at your own wrongs (trying too hard isn't a wrong, its a delusion).
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Still A Bit Hurt
Posted: 12/14/2008 11:17:29 AM
""" I want to meet someone new but I am scared of being hurt again because it always seem to happen. """

That's why they say you have to kiss a lot of toads to meet a nice frog, or something like that.

Hey, seriously, if there is no hurt it means there was no love, no pleasure. I do not enjoy going on casual dates; there is no hurt there. I'd welcome a chance to be hurt again.

NO PAIN NO GAIN. Go For It!
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Should we open our marriage?
Posted: 12/14/2008 1:51:31 AM
""" I would like to know if anyone has had any experience with this situation"""

Yes, many people have had experience with this. Why don't you do a thread search if this is so important to you. Or shall we presume people in open marriages are generally stupid?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 36 (view)
 
I am kinda falling in LOVE with you and I don't know what to do!
Posted: 12/10/2008 12:09:22 AM
"""We met at a wedding. We both were drunk and we hooked up. End of story. We meet up again a month later and we hang out, drink and have some fun. """

Just keep on drinking a lot with him. Awesome basis for true love.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Should I dump him?
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:18:22 PM
"""""I met him online and we hit it off. Well, he tells me he loves me and wants to get married. Here is the problem:
I don't have my profile online anymore, at least for the last 4 months. But, I just noticed recently that his profile is active, and what else is that his ad is full of lies, from saying he has no kids, to other stuff::TOTAL LIES. """"

What's it like to date a total liar? Couldn't you find someone who only lies an average amount?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Will he be back?
Posted: 12/9/2008 6:16:46 PM
"""we are in love, meant to be together.
I was his first real relashionship..I don't know how to describe everything. If you guys ever met your soulmate, felt so good"""

Well maybe he will. More amazing things have happened, like finding your soulmate in the first relationship.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
The habits your ex had that make you glad its over.
Posted: 12/8/2008 12:40:04 PM
I thought this was going to be an interesting ORIGINAL topic. Ever heard of that?

Yes, alchoholics, sobbers, abusers, cheaters are all extremely annoying if not criminal.

I thought OP was asking about things like "weird little phrases", odd ways of eating, can't drive, won't use turn signals, didn't know how to answer the phone or leave a useful message ("hi, its me..." isn't informative), bought stupid stuff at high prices, etc.

I date a gal who's first line out of her mouth was "lets have a cuppa"....???? A "cuppa" is that an italian octupus food? A weird sex hold? Another gal would just get this weird grin on her face, like the whole world knew what she was doing, well I didn't thats for sure.

BUT, if I love a woman, no habit is that bad, then its called "adorable".
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 429 (view)
 
People who think you are hot V2.
Posted: 12/8/2008 11:53:11 AM
I really would appreciate a better "explanation" of how my "most alluring trait" is picked out. That's the problem I have, I mean, the women are all fine and I would bone them no problem after the game. But one "alluring trait"? or "alluring traits" in the plural? is it data from my demographics in the click boxes, or random key words in my "interests" section or "first date" section?

A lot of users said: """""Sorry BigFish, a waste of your programming and our reading time, IMO""""" And below is the solution:

Admin: convert our "interests" into " fill in the click boxes", not just words on a notepad. Make it so we can directly or indirectly search for those interests. For example: I might "search for": "cooking, TV, sex, antiques, yoga, meditation, sex, coffee, companionship" IN THAT ORDER......
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 202 (view)
 
People who think you are hot V2.
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:37:33 AM
""""this new feature..DOESNT mean that those people REALLY think your HOT...it is matched by your traits.""""

Yes, ok we know...BUT WHAT TRAITS? Is it a POF Admin secret so horndogs like me don't go in and change my profile click boxes? Or what......???? Or if I put the word "Doctor" or "Jillionaire" in profession, does that mean more woman on POF would think I'm hotter?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 201 (view)
 
People who think you are hot V2.
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:34:20 AM
My most alluring trait? How on Earth is that calculated, by keywords or search results?
ie, if on average women near me write "age 40 to 50", or the email men age 40 to 50 does that make me alluring at 48? Or are you using facial recognition software? etc

Is this a result of my recent suggestion to : "Rank your likes, hobbys, wants, etc in your profile". This probably isn't, but, you guys are off to a good start.

As I had written, If a woman says "I like motorcycles and Hawaii (and who doesn't..)" but I don't have a motorcycle and she last went to Hawaii 15 years ago....it would be logically and romantically helpful if in our profile we are asked " in priority" what are interest/disinterests our. If a woman really really wants to get married and have a baby asap, she would rank that #1, in the #1 box, if she wants rural land a lot, she ranks that in the #2 slot.....if she kinda likes playing electric guitar but not as much as Yoga...those get put in # order.

If you did that, MAYBE WE COULD USE YOUR NEW NEW HOTNESS RATING. Otherwise, I can't figure out how, when, why where, the women on my list would think I am hot?
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Car Crash Relationships..
Posted: 11/30/2008 9:19:34 AM
"""Have you ever been told you were making a mistake with someone but managed to make it work against all the odds?"""

Only if both of you are fantastic people, but if so, why would others warn you? HANG WITH THE WINNERS, stay away from losers.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Affection a deal breaker?
Posted: 11/30/2008 9:14:35 AM
""""MOST IMPORTANT: listen to ron9."""" Ron is the site's male genius. WHEN ARE WE GONNA GET "Thumbs up, Thumbs down" or " +, 0, -" post raters to vote on here. The Admin would get a lot less "flame wars" that way.

""""And no this is not about sex at all. Sex always brings such god awful drama into my life that I'm pretty much turned off from it in general and could take it or leave it at this point.

Yes we do touch. She'll press her leg against mine or her arm against mine. But it always seems more like she doesn't care if we're touching than actually seeking it out.

Am I acting affection starved here?"""

Don't worry about being "affection starved" worry about what is really going in in Reality? Are you two really in a relationship? Does she know you think you are dating? Maybe she doesn't like you, and in a couple hours or a couple days, she will stop answering your emails and calls.

If you don't like her, if you don't like her "style". Then you should talk to her. If no results, break up if you still aren't happy or satisfied or want more.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
The man I am dating is dying--
Posted: 11/30/2008 9:10:37 AM
""""He and I both are still in mortgages. Even if he sold his home and moved to my area, he would not qualify to start a new mortgage. We both have children. We talked about a homebased business for me to work in, he would have to finance it and the business would be owned by his children. If I gave up my home and job (where I have been 33 years) when he died, I would have nothing as my retirement at this point is not enough to live on. It does not gage my love for him, but at my age, why should I start all over? It is very romantic to say chuck all you have and be with him, but I have to consider my future. We just have to live one day at a time but there seems to be no easy answer.""""

This is all WAAAY TOOO COOOOMPLICATED. Something isn't right. You can love him without moving, without marrying, without starting a homebased business, without....I must sadly ask, if he is dieing so soon, why do any of that. Plus, if you marry him for the symbol of love, what if he is in all kinds of secret trouble? I've heard about a few people who were surprised what their partner was really doing, I think there are a couple threads on POF about guys or gals who lied about little details.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
when to shut your mouth
Posted: 11/30/2008 9:05:18 AM
I sure hope you communicate better with your new Gf's, the EX, your customers, etc, than all that in the OP. I don't know what your "status" is with the new woman. Did you meet, did she dump you? What's really going on?

Yeah, like EVERYONE SAID, you shouldn't be starting new relationships at all now. And no one wants to hear about endless personal problems, especially with the competion.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 36 (view)
 
What is it that makes you hang on to your lover despite red flags?
Posted: 11/28/2008 1:58:11 PM
""" In short, what is it for you that "keeps you hanging on...""""
""""You have to be kidding right? """" :

What is it that makes you hang on to your lover despite red flags?

"""I don't know what is up with all the wanting to deletes lately."""


Ummm, what's up with that is we want INTERESTING AND NEW TOPICS HERE. Thats what's up. OP was doing "ok" until he actually stated his question..Obviously, and I haven't read the replies yet (sorta on purpose) is THEY TURN US ON.... they make us cum. Or "We are desperate", or we are codependant, or they have money, or no one else wants us....and those aren't answers to anyone normal, which is who I listen to. "Hang with the winners".
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Why can't I accept defeat? Real advice or input needed
Posted: 11/23/2008 10:54:30 PM
Actually, your only hope to make this sale is not to try and convince him/her. Not every "win" is done by "winning". Otherwise, no one would ever: "shut up" for a second, give away a gift, keep a promise, hug a sick old person, do something nice and not brag about it, pray, help others, admit being wrong, accept a pay cut to help another, ......etc.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 48 (view)
 
privacy within a relationship
Posted: 11/23/2008 10:50:10 PM
o""""" my question to you fine people is this, "Is there an expectation of personal privacy in a relationship or should one be willing forfeit ones privacy entirely in order to committ completely to the relationship?""""""

There is an expectation two people can respect each other, communicate, and come to agreement.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
When it is to soon to have sex.....
Posted: 11/20/2008 5:14:43 PM
""""don't repeat the same mistakes."""

Right, so hopefully this won't become a "broken hearts" thread.....

I've noticed that if things seem good at first..keep that going as long as possible before "sex" (intercourse, and sleeping together) because as soon as it happens then people "clam up" or change or stop revealing their past. Of course, that's also when they start revealing their real self, etc.

Hold off for one or tow more dates, a little kissing and cuddling and going home at midnite is perfectly ok for now.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
How long do you give someone to make up his mind?
Posted: 11/20/2008 11:25:04 AM
""""I don't know if you've ever met a guy like this, but when he's happy, he's the best guy in the world. When he's not happy, look out!"""

I'm kinda like that guy too. I have ADD, and I profusely apologize about so many things....however, I hope I am not as bad as he is overall (LOL).

SET SOME BOUNDRIES! Don't just hangout, etc. USE PEN AND PAPER, write down what you two agree on and need to improve. Let him know he will have to "man up" and you will "woman up". Maybe couples therapy, maybe he needs a medical help or a new medicine. In the end HANG WITH THE WINNERS, if he will never amount to much, time to move on.
 olyman38
Joined: 5/12/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Evil Ex is back
Posted: 11/20/2008 11:20:58 AM
Oh God. Grow up! Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
 
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