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 Author Thread: I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 230 (view)
I hear, I know. I see, I remember. I do, I understand.
Posted: 1/18/2018 10:58:22 AM
Whisky R
I admit....I've done so myself.
Guess...that's the mean girl in me.
I usually will interject when someone tries to tell me..."How I think" and what works for them...bla...bla..
For the record...I've had no rows with HS
An old adage about not throwing stones in glass houses comes to mind. Live and let live.
For the record, halcyon is a 9 when it comes to snits, drawing from personal experience..

I have also been attacked by a couple of the women in this thread in the past. I let it go because well... consider the source(s).
There is a common denominator among the ones who have said things about/to me (and others). It isn't difficult to figure out why they lash out in an anonymous place such as this.
I could go back and show quotes and "help" people remember threads but what good would that do? Expose their hypocrisy? Drive home the point that they suffer from self-esteem issues? Turn the tide? Get people to say nice things about me? Get people to say mean things about other people?
^^^This is quite a battery of artfully veiled insults, so I disagree respectfully - you have not let it go and have a grudge, or at minimum displeasure. I do agree in your showing it at a place and time of your convenience, though shattering your own glass ceiling. It is a good approach --nothing is perfect-- to avoid direct conflict and still keep your independence from being in the echo chamber. To morally take a higher ground, not so much
We are all shades of gray.
Personally, I think each individual personality, even the ones that rub me wrong, brings an interesting perspective as a sounding board -- and lemons usually are needed for the best lemonade...
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 223 (view)
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 1/17/2018 11:25:25 PM

I'm just as fit as when I was 20, and feel just as good. I've always been active and worked out all my life. If other people have let themselves get soft, and resent someone that's fit, that's their problem. Trying to pick on me isn't going to diminish who I am or raise who they are, except in their own minds☺ My siblings are similarly fit and my elderly mom looks phenomenal! I don't want to say her age, but she looks at least 10 years younger.

Well, somebody sounds smoking hot! Reminds me of how every guy here appreciates Cinderella who doesn't have to do any talking. I read her profile only for the text, including the very interesting article about her hair, too.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 207 (view)
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 1/17/2018 10:41:36 AM
I look that good. Good looking, waist-length curly-wavy hair, fit with a hot body (big tits)☺

Sounds more like Sofía Vergara than NooYawker58...

^^^^^ You got that one right. It appears that some people are just delusional.

Fit with a hot body?? It has been stated in the forums that you are on disability, I don't know what to believe about you.

Horatio: He waxes desperate with imagination

Marcellus: Something is rotten in the State of Denmark.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 199 (view)
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 1/17/2018 2:31:26 AM
Please supply precise longitude and latitude of referenced grocery store. TIA.

Lat. N 47°17.5355'; Long. W 122°20.1470'
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 190 (view)
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 1/16/2018 9:28:58 PM
Whiskey R:

If it's a normal occururance in your local mall.
I'd be questioning just how desperate these men really are.

I wouldn't think the men were desperate. Just typical how men respond to a damsel in distress that looks like she wants a man. If you are surprised with this, it probably means you aren't experienced giving them the come-on look in the supermarket. A reasonable amount of men will hit on a woman who is broadcasting an 'encouraging' disposition, or for that matter, an injured or easy target that's worth another notch in the bedpost. The law of the jungle ...
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
Posted: 1/15/2018 9:23:39 PM

My question is this has anyone ever felt guilty and successful managed to overcome it and continue a happy relationship without saying? Is this possible?

If you become truly repentant and vow never to offend your marriage and Creator again, then you will find absolution with your Creator, and you will not have guilt, because you have made amends. If you tell your wife, you will inflict pain upon her and destroy the unity of your marriage and then you will face the wrath of your wife as well. If you truly are willing and able to walk the good pathway forever forward, then you should not tell your wife and you should understand you have made the amends, and your spirit should be in peace, and you can seek further advice from your spiritual leader, if you have one.

If darkness persists inside you and for it, you feel guilt, you must feel you cannot walk the path of righteousness, it can only mean you cannot honestly make the promise never to do it again. If that is the case, you will consume yourself and you should share your burden with her and inflict the pain on her to deal with together, even if it leads to rupture in your marriage and family. The answer is within you, not in this Internet forum, and if you can and do make the amends, you have no need to feel the guilt anymore.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
old pictures!
Posted: 1/13/2018 11:50:19 AM

1) Apparently 18 year old pics are okay according to your main profile pic
2) How much does "tremendous" equal in pounds?

All the lies in these profiles don't faze me much, since I accept that many people cherry-pick and embellish their attributes in order to be attractive to others (including me in those others :-)).

When all the deceit (such marketing with old pics) is done by a hypocritical and jaded person, they get smoked out in short order - that is the ugly red flag on their personality IMO. They misrepresent themselves, but are then critical of others for far lesser offenses or personal peeves. Self-serving vices are ugly. But honest and accepting people, they look good however they dress their profile.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
Profile pics
Posted: 1/12/2018 12:11:48 PM

A main photo must be a clear headshot and shirtless photos (in any context) are against the rules.

The main pic is identified as such by the subroutine when rating it. Nipples go, and so would a picture of a girls legs without the head attached, as main pics are used in the search indices, message system, and other presentations. If they are not main pics but done in reasonably good taste those are fine (to me) as non-main pics. So, if you are talking about non-main pics, sorry to hear you got the bad luck of the draw.

Once you figure out the picture thing, remove the PS in your profile body which is also silly.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 123 (view)
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 1/12/2018 11:44:12 AM
Think it's obvious from his lack of talking and interest all the way along. He just never put that much effort in

And it sucked you right in. Go figure.

Sienna, You didn't purchase his emotional attachment by getting physical. If the currency of sex is burning a hole in your pocket, there is no shortage of guys who will collect. Maybe you are a sex-addict yourself, have very weak character, or like to be duped, who knows?

Anyway, Pig is right on this one. I don't feel any of the touchy-feely analysis is necessary. You need to understand the different dimensions of your own sexuality, and when you might refrain from "doing it" to avoid pining over random guys who don't give a crap. Do you really want them getting under your skin?

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
Profile not doing a good job with the ladies
Posted: 1/11/2018 7:41:38 PM
Welcome Daniel!

It is a challenge to get replies from quality women, since men far outnumber women on the site, so don't be discouraged and don't have any expectations. Make it more like fishing, tossing your hook out when you have some time to kill, enjoying reading about all these crazy POF girls, and eventually some will write back. If you're mathematical like some guys here, here's a link I just uploaded to put things into perspective for the continuous frustrations 'average' guys have. It really tells most of the story:

Some women don't even look at my profile while others look at my profile but don't respond.

To begin with, more women are looking at your profile than show up in the 'profile views' page. This is because we all have the optional setting to not let people know that we've visited their profile. It is in the settings where you edit the profile... a sizable fraction of women don't like to give hints they scanned you, so they use their cloaking devices.

Next, you wonder why they don't respond. That is a combination of the main picture, the other pictures and what you write in both the profile and first message. No, you are claiming you can discover planets with the Clark telescope. Everyone knows that Pluto was discovered with the 13" astrograph using photographic plates, so perhaps all those geeky girls figure out you are boasting about big telescopes without knowing how to use them :-) Not to mention the other pic of the telescope is in broad daylight with Baader film so you are obviously looking at the Sun, not for planets, unless it was a recent transit OK, I'm joking here because I happen to love Lowell.

On the serious side of things, remove this, as it is painfully obvious that if someone might be interested in you, it's best not to twist their arm to make them contact you:

I'm not an upgraded member so if you're interested, message me. ??

They know the drill without being told, and this will likely hurt rather than help since it can be a tad sappy. The upgraded member comment may elicit them to go into sleep mode.

Your profile has two pics of you with telescopes, but nothing anywhere to indicate you are a scientific or gadget sort of guy. It also headlines salsa - I suspect it is the sort of salsa as red or green salsa, but it could be salsa dancing for all I know. The profile would be more satisfying if you linked some of these random things together into a coherent description.

But really start with the pics. You have a good smile but don't take advantage of it in most of the images, and they look similar. A little more variety like the one at the lake would be good.

Then work a little on the text to add some humor and anything that might set you apart from the competition.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
Why can't you hide Upgraded User?
Posted: 1/11/2018 12:50:48 PM
Posting here is for profile reviews. You could have posted in the POF site Suggestions/Help forum:
[Profile review]

Hey there. I'm 6ft tall.

I play competitive squash and I love gaming. I'm a software developer by trade.

Looking to meet a girl for fun dating.

Cute gamer girls encouraged! If you're not a cute gamer girl... you're encouraged too.

Redundant 6ft tall comment first. Suggest you remove it.

Second line 'software developer by trade'. Redundant.

Third line, wanting a fun girl for dating. Who'd a thunk that?!!

Last line is the best, if she's a cute gamer, you want her. But then again if she's an ugly gamer guy, you want him, too.

Any sane girl would quickscope this profile before you could swipe right!

[/Profile review]

Why can't you hide Upgraded User?

Being an upgraded user is not about stalking people in stealth, it is about forcing your profile to the top of the pile, showing you are not a scammer, and to some extent showing you are serious and don't mind spending a few bucks on the site. It is not meant to be hidden.

There used to be an option to hide the badge,
however, your stealth cover would be blown if you put more than 8 pics. If there is still have available the option of hiding the badge, the search engine will put a bright yellow dot under your profile to let people know you are one of the elite in POF's first class seating.
Best luck (and nice main pic!)
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 137 (view)
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 1/11/2018 11:03:53 AM

My motto - keep it positive, keep it fun.

Nice! Almost sounds like you borrowed mine,
in te ipso fons est laetitiae (Within you is the fountain of happiness)

from Ventura County, between Los Angeles and Santa Barbara.

My bad,,, I have great memories from the farmlands of Saticoy, and not just the Strawberry Festival 👩‍ 🌾

.....but I am hoping to find him in 2018. :)

And ninety-nine dream of you content,
But your plan for a world made new
Is the hundredth man with a clear intent
To making your hope come true!
(adapted from: Ted Olson, 1926)
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 131 (view)
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 1/10/2018 7:43:38 PM

It took me three years to find the ex-BF so I hope it does not take me another three years. I think I am going to speed up things this time....hahahahah
I'm 75% sure you don't mean 3 years in finding out he was to become an ex- ...

I'm guessing it was an interesting 3 years since I recall you from being from around Sacramento. Without even considering how skilled you are at expressing yourself, your profile is tops, so I predict you'll only be available as long as you're picky
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 129 (view)
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 1/10/2018 6:58:18 PM

I recently got back into OLD after a 3 year relationship

Welcome back, and still smiling with your unconquerable healthy attitude!
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
Is my Boyfriend gay and in denial or am i paranoid?
Posted: 1/10/2018 2:58:12 PM

I wouldnt be aroused by a random naked man. Am sure there are men who wouldnt find it sexy for a random woman to stand naked in the door way. Sexy underwear or clothes that hint at sexy can be more appealling to some ... Im guessing men can be as individual as women? Or perhaps im hoping?

I think it is a matter of degree on how aroused you would or wouldn't be by that random man, if you want to admit the deep down truth. The obvious difference between men and women here is how plainly a man sees he is excited vs. the woman's more internal response and ease which she can ignore minor response. Like a thermometer, if the mercury rises just one degree we know

I think the thread is more about objectification of women as sex objects. Men do it and so do most women. Depending on your politics, it can be uncomfortable for a woman, for example, that thinks herself a feminist, to admit she craves a man to view her as a sex object, to the exclusion of her brains and personality (because men have a habit of going ga-ga when the right stimuli present themselves). Also, as you point out stimuli vary depending in part on someone's upbringing. When I lived in Pakistan, it was very common for guys to see a woman's ankle to have the mercury rise and burst their thermometers, while under those circumstances my only response was to laugh at them. Whether seeing random female body parts is not a great way to judge someone's orientation.

The OP clearly is annoying her partner by having sex with him and then freaking out about her gay anxieties rather than enjoying the afterglow, she's talking about marrying a guy here she barely understands and she makes no sense at all, and as you pointed out was compelled to issue a strong opinion of her relatives gay suspicions. Sounds like a certified hypochondriac* to me.
*Not approved by the American Psychiatric Association per statement 9/Jan/2018:

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 121 (view)
Why did he ghost me? Cowards way out?
Posted: 1/9/2018 8:25:44 PM

No one gets kicked off of POF because someone blocked them.

Yeah, hit and run, just to prove a point, that point being nothing other than broadcasting your manners. While you are at it, find fault with KJ, a considerate Floridian, and one of the most respectful, if not the most respectful poster on this board.

You appear to just be demonstrating you are a desert grampus that lacks common sense. The only think that is missing is 'End of story!' *BLOCK**

Regardless, you could always assume the best about someone, instead of worst. If they do respond with abuse, block them then.
Is this supposed to be profound? -- No. You are moving the goalposts completely from your original foolishly ignorant assertion that we objected to, to stay at the helm. I would have apologized to KJ rather than handing her the sarcasm and a hypocritical lecture in morality.
That's how I was raised: As the Arabs say, there are five fingers on the hand, and none of us are equal. It is nobody's obligation to acknowledge anyone with a message to say "thanks but no thanks". No different than the woman on a busy street being approached by a dozen men and walking strait as an arrow without giving them the time of day, a behavior in similar circumstances that has existed for centuries in the US.

There. It felt good to beat that dead horse once, and I love horses! I think I'm going to watch Leonardo in the Revenant now to be sure I don't type any more stupid responses...
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
I would like a Profile Review please.
Posted: 1/8/2018 9:02:18 PM

I want to play (video/card/board games) with you ... I want to watch the stars with you. I want to lose track of time looking into your eyes.

==> I want you to see stars with me. I want time and space to draw me in your eyes.

Profile has a mild creep factor which could be written off as personality (you were explicit saying you like dirty jokes), but given you're an open minded and free-spirited musician no flags were thrown during my read. My adjustment was just playing around with double meanings and to get you more in trouble with the woman that are in your realm. I was proud I knew one of the bands mentioned, but the rest all have grymm names. Interesting profile, gets an "A" for personality & different. Though I have no clue what this is referring to :

Some would say that I have a different view of the world from most.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
I saw her
Posted: 1/8/2018 11:05:17 AM

Oh, by the way, after lurking here for more than two weeks, I can't help but picture you getting together with your Mensa groups in between work and POF forums. Are you a member?

No Mensa is not appealing to me at all since I don't believe standardized tests can be used reliably to exclude people with non-scholarly backgrounds from the group of the interesting. I spend my spare time in the gym, traveling, cooking for nutrition, and growing a all kinds of herbs and vegetables for personal use and sharing with like-minded friends.

Nothing specific about stained teeth but she did dedicate an entire paragraph to oral hygiene on a well written (not short but not too long) profile. I have thought many times about giving up anything known for staining teeth but that is a lot just to up my potentials by more or less 10%.

I had to check your location just now - just to make sure it wasn't the same chick, since what you described sure sounded like her.

I completely understand the trade-off you face and the little, so important pleasures in life we have, and cherish as our own way to relax and enjoy. Often I question my decision when I find myself mulishly rinsing the after-flavor of a great Yemeni or Tanzania Peaberry coffee off my desirous tongue, cheeks and lips, and btw, the same for blueberry or blackberry smoothies. It feels like a religion on bad days that I don't want any part in. But improved dental checkups and added self-confidence make it worth it. I was self-conscious of the staining so it did have to go, and the chick was the the snake in my coffee garden of Eden. It didn't pan out for her, but I am glad she unknowingly broke my caffeine addiction and without trying was an inspiration. A beautiful ear-to-ear smile on a girl barefoot in her garden, wearing form fitting blue jeans, accentuating, but not flaunting, Pavlovian hips ...
Back to the currently cold and rainy reality ...
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
How do I convert Meet-Me's to actual sincere responses?
Posted: 1/8/2018 12:19:53 AM
Usually meet-me's that say yes to me, and don't message, don't respond if I write them, though there have been a few. The bottom line is that the lion's share of meet me's, accidentally, or in a trance are "Yes'ing" to meet me, and the system never seems to forget them in the accounting. Men had been know in the past to even have a small POF add-in program that machine-gun fired meet-me's without them even lifting a finger (much less seeng a picture of who they were meeting) with the intent of having sex with 1/1000, they were just playing a number's game. POF then improved meet-me to prevent that, but it still exists manually to a lesser degree.

Your photos are all from 2011-2015, with the newest being over 3 years old. You need some flattering new pictures that are reflective of your current appearance.

Yes, and additionally to the newest and only faintly useful pic being 2 years old, yours is one of those profiles that really doesn't excel at anything, and then picky, picky stuff. You have simply front-loaded the interest section and expect it to do all the work. I took one look at this profile, looked at the outdated 'divorce and lost 50 pounds' comments which is what, maybe 10 years old now? Faded severely overexposed photos ...?

Like others, I immediately jumped to the +Jewish, +Caucasian + living coordinate dealbreakers, and then I took a look at the main 2015 pic and saw you standing next to a Christmas tree (not a menorah) and had a belly laugh as I clicked next. You do not look "admittedly" very young for your age, that is for the reader to decide, anyway. Ask 100 people if they think they look young for their age and 80 will say yes. Your profile is not articulate, which I feel it must be in order to support your pickiness:

1 - You are preferably Jewish & Caucasian, and live in either York Region, Toronto, just north of York Region, or the Barrie Area. If you are other than Jewish, not Caucasian, or live outside these areas and message me (or click on "Meet Me"), I will not respond.
This is very convoluted and redundant^^^, just to say "I only message white Jewish guys along Highway 400." LOL, and then you won't message meet-me's, but you are asking here what to do with them :-) That's good, you are getting flexible.

If you look at the meet me's as simply new messages, your profile needs to back you up, hence the comments about your profile, just as for cold contacts. I hope that is useful. might work better for you.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
I saw her
Posted: 1/7/2018 12:17:20 PM
I had a profile crush on a girl that insisted on perfect white teeth prominently stated in the profile. It glared from the otherwise smart and attractive profile, that matched me and what I wanted to a tee, or so I imagined. I messaged her asked that she please fax me her X-rays so I could decide if she were the right girl for me. I gave my actual phone. It worked. We made a date but she cancelled twice before I quit realizing I was playing second string and she was not up front about that.

Saw her online later, totally different pictures like two years later, aged a bit, as expected, but that was not a face you could disguise from me. Leaned she was a dental hygienist and still as flaky with dates as the first time, fwiw.

I would suspect a dental care worker in your case as a good possibility, too. When people spend their days working in others' mouths, bad breath, poor oral hygiene, smoker, coffee, and tea stains are viewed in a quite different light. They really can't help it. I wonder about gynecologist men if they have the same conditioning - I bet they do. If you rate your degree of enjoyment with patients all day long with how clean or foul their whatever is, it is probably hard not to let this roll over into your life.

In my earlier case, I actually was so excited about the prospect of that meet, that I went to get a cleaning and polishing. I was a daily experimenter and coffee/espresso self-anointed connoisseur at the time, and coffee darkens your teeth away from the false white that Close-Up (Crest, and Colgate) toothpaste pushes. Since we never met, it my investment missed the intended purpose of the meet. Since then, I have brushed with twice the frequency and flossed daily. Cut down on coffee, and always rinse my mouth out soon after drinking coffee and tea. I now notice and find this much more desirable in a partner. So, I would put this in the personal hygiene/first impression category -must do if serious- if her profile wasn't otherwise too flagellatory on the reader.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
Profile Review
Posted: 1/7/2018 10:29:16 AM

in a facetious and humorous, yet obviously candid fashion

Everyone has a magical threshold where humor ends and sarcasm begins. You are walking a very challenging linewith the list, which needlessly filters out women that, at the moment of reading, may not be up to it, and want a break from busy lives looking for a mate or a fling, or whatever. If you do keep the list, consider that 'candid' and 'obvious' don't always translate as intended through text as moods at the time of reading vs. writing. Adding a final point to the list could help and be a clincher to nail your mareada guapa, or, amor de lejos, poking fun at yourself if you can handle it, so she doesn't read it personally, and sees it for the big joke effect you do.

11. Listing DOs and DON'T's like this. - DO, err, DON'T!!!

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
Could you offer some criticisms?
Posted: 1/6/2018 8:38:14 PM
The only pics that you don't have a "deer in the headlights" look are the ones where you are munching on Tostitos or downing the giant parfait. But the Tostitos pic (6 years old) has a real deer, with the 'in the headlights' look. It's sort of quaint, but I don't know that it will get much traction here. Also, I guess we know where the extra kilos came from that are making you self-conscious, in addition to the beard.

Screw all those doubts you get and just carry yourself with confidence. This place is just a clearing house and you can present yourself as you please. The only tweaks you must make are to look like you have good hygiene, and get yourself in good lighting. Sure, tidy up the beard, and forget about the weight other than to update your pics as is now, and then update as you evolve - real people just want you to show up being you. As an added benefit, uploading one pic every so often makes your profile less stale and attracts more attention, when you rotate the main pic.

The Japan pic where you are hot and sweaty in the T-shirt and Tennessee floppy hat - lose it please, also the Tostitos, it is too old just to show where you traveled.

This week is the peak week of the year for POF, don't miss out. Most people still have a Xmas dinner floundering in their gut, wear it proudly, get a positive attitude about the whole thing and treat it like, or hunting for sharks' teeth on the beach. If you don't walk near one, it won't appear like magic out of the ocean. I had two new ones on the line this evening, both mutually thrown back. Is that an indication of anything? Nope. The only measure is conversion into real life. Research how to write snappy messages, which is something you haven't mentioned. Peruse the forum on the subject with the search function. Don't message just the hottest pics, there are many nice women on here and viewing it as a catalog rather than a bunch of people that would be fun to know and make you happy you spent the time sooner or later.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 77 (view)
Message response rate
Posted: 1/6/2018 6:36:29 PM

so getting a Mean, which unlike Average doesn't have to be equal, you know it's unreliable reading from that data.

You mean Median, not Mean.

A poll of men in a sexually active class indicated that average penis size was 8 inches and 9/10 women in in the class were fat slobs.

A poll from the same class of women indicated average penis size was about 6 inches. Only 1/10 though it was about 9 inches because having intercourse always hurt her. The same women, when asked, all felt they could lose a pound or two, with 2/10 thinking they were fat, 4/10 reporting they were average, and the other 4/10 not very good at rating themselves but thinking they were probably fine remembering the other women they saw in their class looked like, though when challenged they could only describe accurately two of their other classmates.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 334 (view)
FAQ: How To Quote, Bold, Italicize and Underline your text - Practice Thread
Posted: 1/6/2018 11:33:04 AM
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
Profile Review
Posted: 1/6/2018 10:55:47 AM

I’m an average man, who is gainfully employed. I have a spoiled dog, my own vehicles, and home. I’m probably no different than any other guy out there.

Fun Facts:
When I was 7, my grandma made me a Superman cape. I had one successful flight, through the plate glass window, into the yard. I survived.
I've attempted the 72oz steak challenge. A T T E M P T E D. The following week was rough.
I spent a week touring Buddhist temples in Thailand. The monks will read your future. Every single one of them had the same predictions
I was once trapped in quicksand, for 3 hours. Ironically, it didn't seem that quick
I've broken my neck, and 12 bones (3 of which I reset myself). I've been hit by a car 3 times and walked away with bruises.
I kicked Cancer's ass, last year

I’m simple and easy to please. I love live music, fresh air and warm sunshine, a cold beer, the sound of water slapping the rocks, and good conversation. I’m very old-fashioned and I believe in manners, real dates, courting, and flirting.

I’m not sure what else to put on here, but if you have more questions – feel free to drop me something more profound than a "HEY THERE" line and we can see where it goes from there. I would also prefer that you didn't pound the "flirt" button. Just start a conversation. There should be more than enough up there, to find something that we can talk about. Catch my attention! Captivate me!
Look forward to hearing from you

EDIT: Entering my 3rd day on this site, and I’ve noticed a few things that should be remedied.
1. “Average” body type does not mean the same as “BBW” Own who you are.
2. Take pictures in the light!
3. Snapchat flowers around your head, only make you prettier for YOU. I’ll be disappointed if we meet, and there are no lilies growing from your ears. Unless you carry potting soil and daffodils on your head, full time – STOP.
4. Duck Lips – Is this really still a thing? It’s gone from fad to nervous tick, at this point. – STOP
5. Overhead selfies – JUST STOP. We’re all going to assume that you’re using your boobs to hide a beer gut.
6. Pictures of your kids. We’re not trying to date your kids. This isn’t Facebook. There are pedophiles EVERYWHERE! – STOP
7. Dressing like hookers and then proclaiming, “Don’t approach me for sex”. Well, if I needed a police officer… I’d look for a police uniform…
8. Spelling, punctuation, grammar. Try it. We’re all adults, and I can only assume, completed our education, at least through the 7th grade.
9. Memes. We’ve seen em. STOP
10. “HEY THERE” messages. Is that the best you’ve got?

I read your profile description^^^. I nearly came up empty. But #8 on the profile Nazi list is spot on:

8. Spelling, punctuation, grammar. Try it. We’re all adults, and I can only assume, completed our education, at least through the 7th grade.

Tú eres un pendejo!
( Just had to fix your currently 7th pic in the black T-shirt to make the text legible for you )
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
smothering/clingy man
Posted: 1/6/2018 10:27:08 AM

It's just that I am used to doing things with my friends and for the past few months, I have barely seen them.

You are projecting your personality on to his.

I wish he would make some guy friends. He wants to be with me all the time

You are incompatible with him, and perhaps both too old to change. I'm sure if he found a more emotionally compatible woman who wanted to cuddle up with him all the time, he'd drop you like a hot potato. Should a miracle strike, and both of you become young at heart again, you'd learn to negotiate together if the love is there, based on mutual respect and find the sweet spot.

I'd love to see Igor's response to this narrative. (edit: Igor has responded, and I can't wait to read it. My guess is it's spot on)

He's still feeling like a fish out of water and new in town after moving across the country in his 60's, and for all we know, grieving from a lost or broken prior relationship. Meanwhile, you have your entire network there and he has nothing but you. Gee, what do you expect from a depressed introvert who loves you? What have you done to help him find friends? Have you introduced him to your friends to do some things together? Or do you keep him corked in your (his?) bottle. Your only possibility I see is getting him out to know the place and doing things with him.
Thread title:
smothering/clingy man

This set the tone for my response. I would have given you a completely different answer, if not for you describing the person you say you are in love with in this way in this forum. You have already judged him in negative terms & clearly do not respect him. He is just there to fit into your life, but that didn't work and now you are making sacrifices that are unacceptable to you. Do him a favor and cut him loose. You are not married to him, nor should you be, so forget that. You have your friends as a support network, so you'll do fine. And he needs breathing space to grow (or wither, in his own terms), with luck he finds a compassionate gal that has more going on than disappearing for girls' night out a few times each week, whining to her girlfriends and forum strangers, "Poor me, my parents retired in Miami Beach and all I got was a hurricane damaged, clingy, brooding POF suckerfish".

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 15 (view) All about the money(?)
Posted: 1/5/2018 10:58:25 PM

Now NewYorker58 has recently shown some very strange tendencies, shifting 180 degrees. But it’s always in different posts. Leading one of the other ladies here to guess that she is leaving her computer on when she goes shopping, and someone else is posting using her account.

To be fair Henry, NYer is a completely different story. She already told us, in the following post she hade two months ago, why she was setting herself up for a meltdown, and that it was just something she was bound by love to do, which saddens me all around.


Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
Is my Boyfriend gay and in denial or am i paranoid?
Posted: 1/5/2018 7:54:05 PM
past weekend he came to pick me up and then whilst we were in bed he said to me I want to tell you something because you have been asking me questions and I said what is it and then he said i'm not attracted to women's bodies and then I said what do you mean exactly by that and then he said well when I look at a woman I don't get hard like any other guys for example if I go to strip clubs I don't feel anything and then he went on to say that i'm not gay or bisexual..

Hmm.... He is not attracted to females, he told you that much. Could he be attracted to transsexual males I wonder? I could be totally wrong about it but these doubts that you are having about him didn't just come out of a thin air. Perhaps you need to trust your feelings.

Greatgal, he probably means when he goes to the morgue and opens the body compartments, seeing a female stiff doesn't turn him on, but the guys she wants to date are hard necrophiliacs. He is just happy to be active in bed with her all the time, getting BJ's etc., according to the OP. And you conclude he's not attracted to females. Hmmmm
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 63 (view)
POF is bottom of the barrel
Posted: 1/5/2018 7:38:31 PM

I kinda wish Florida but California is up there too :)

Every night this week has been at or below 0°C (~32°F) here on the Sunshine State's northern coast, a couple of days had a high about 2-3°C (~37°F), and in the warm parts of Southern Florida frozen iguanas are falling out of trees and people are told not to assume they are dead, but they might be ...

This is not my Florida

And to think I was swimming in the ocean in Miami last week (water temperature 25°C air temp 28°C)

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
What do you think???
Posted: 1/5/2018 6:59:11 PM
What's with these walls of words these days, is it the new fad??
Fatima, everything's normal, except possibly it took nine months to meet. It is usually better to meet right away or risk becoming text buddies and having the newness wear off. If you have an extended delay for some real reason, it is best not to become best friends IMO while others go through pickups and breakups, which is perfectly natural over such a long period of time for many.

It is one thing to be exclusive, another to be non-exclusive, then there's just flirty. It is hard to know what is going through the mind of someone nearly a year after they are first interested in getting to know you. For you to judge him without doing some snooping about who he's seeing is really not very cool. The important thing is you finally met. He was interested in you and texted repeatedly. You didn't seem to return the level of enthusiasm, so maybe all's falling back into the 9-month text buddy rut. Guys need some clues and hints.

Really, if he doesn't ask you out for real, the whole thing may just run out of gas. Don't worry about the significance of who pays during a meet, because that is all it was and you took off. If he texted you until you were tired of hearing from him as you say, and then you punished him by ghosting, and no one brought up a date (and this includes you), not much is happening here. You did the ghosting though, so there's a case that it's your move...
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 23 (view)
34 year old and fancy a 53 year old, but she takes ages to text
Posted: 1/5/2018 10:05:46 AM
Ignore the naysayers and defeatists. They may be right, but if they are they won't save you much effort. Women enjoy being chased on their own terms. You need to take a more mature attitude on this which more closely matches her thinking. The problem is, her thinking has been either "no means yes" or "yes means no" LOL. The way you approach it will separate the men from the boys.

After a great prior text followed with a good phone call, this:

Good evening Mademoiselle. Hoping my text finds you in a calm and serene mood! You smiled when you saw my name pop up on your phone just now! I just know you did 😉 What are you up to tomorrow? My mate is going to teach me how to play Snooker- yes most people think it's crazy I've never played! I like something where you can move more but he kinda forced me into it! Tell me- are you free next Sunday for a few hours? xx

While I haven't been eavesdropping on your conversation to know the tone and timbre of her side of the conversations, this is not the way the woman texts and you should have learned that by now. What does Snooker have to do with advancing your agenda? Mademoiselle is a romantic nickname with a little childish undertone, hoping, serene, calm, three needy words. Putting emotions into her face like a puppetmaster - by the time a woman is 53, it doesn't have the same cutsie ring to it. What are you up to tomorrow? ... she's busy and in decompression from holiday haircuts looking her perky best and working till 9PM nights and 12 hour days on commission and tips, do you know what that does to a body after going through the holidays? Clearly not. Having time to text is not at issue - it is being in an emotional state of mind to face an interesting dilemma which is a major shift in gears that is a lot to ask.

Now I just hope you are serene and calming down with these messages and meeting her messages with a more similar enthusiasm level and leaving the rest to voice calls.

Spot has touched on this and Sight has discussed tip-flirts. You have one on the line. In contrast with others, I think you can probably land this one if you adapt to her terms (really a mature mind finds very easy to do) which, unfortunately, you are finding difficult. Consider the challenges that she faces: If you become an item of any kind and it blows up because you are too immature, she could get fired because you have loose lips or generally a lovey-dovey 20-year old's fantasy weakness which is incompatible with her employment, especially at this busy Xmas and New Year timing. If she is not fired, she can become the butt of jokes of her competitive peers who compete for those tips and the scheduling for the best and worst hardworking hours. And then there is her own ego, as to whether it is stable enough to absorb being dumped by a fling with the little voice telling her in her head, "I told you so!", all the while continuing to put on that plastic flirty smile with all her customers. Ageism is a problem in this forum and the Anglo-cultured world in general, but it is built on stereotypes and not individuals. You are two individuals with proven chemistry that enjoy talking to each other. That is all you need for the near term. We have no idea what the perfect pecks meant to her, is she a tip whore, or did her nipples get hard, or are you her puppy dog... You've pinned her down enough now that she owes you an answer - Yes, "it is gonna happen" or no, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression with the kisses and invitations, I was just joking but it is important to me that we be friends and you don't stop being my customer".
Do not pressure her, and stop texting. You need to stick with inconvenient phone calls.

The calculus she may be running is, can he handle this (and she needs to be damn sure and trust you no to go berserk), or how do I let him down softly and keep him as a customer. Stop contact until you hear back or see her on the 16th, if she shows up. You see she has everything to lose in this exchange and you have nothing to lose. The woman is working her ass off. My respect to her. I bet she really is cute and keeps herself in top form.

After the 16th, if you are still interested in her and likely getting nowhere, stop being her customer, and do it very, very discreetly, only letting her know a few days later in confidence when you call her, don't be impulsive and stick with her on and off until she sees you as a real suitor and not a customer. That is the strategy. It is not a game, it is a negotiation and you do your best to remove her risk from the table and give her a safe space to date you in. If that is too much for you, just keep being her customer and go with her flow. Remember this ain't about you, it is about her. You have nothing to lose - that's why.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
34 year old and fancy a 53 year old, but she takes ages to text
Posted: 1/4/2018 8:43:40 PM
It does sound like flirty sales behavior, and she may be a naturally warm person giving you too much of an impression of accessibility before she is ready to deal with it. I actually think your text to her was very good. Now the ball in in her court so forget it till you hear back. I definitely would go back on my next appointment, and be all enthusiastic and just see where it goes. This case is worth having the time on her end for it to sink in and feel wholesome about it.

You probably just have a crush on her, it is easy to do with a hairstylist - I've been there too, enjoying how she runs her fingers through my hair relaxing me, and touches my brow, ears, nape, and massages stuff into my scalp. Since your goal is to get married according to your profile, just recognize a crush for what it is and don't be shy. If she proves just to be a tip-flirt as it does sound (agree with sight-to-sight's post on this point), do find another place to cut your hair the appointment after next, and then text her on a lark to see what's up if you're still in the mood. That worked for me, and it was a whole year later when we got together after a friendly and supportive message every couple of months or so which I enjoyed in their own right.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
Is my Boyfriend gay and in denial or am i paranoid?
Posted: 1/4/2018 3:47:21 PM
I liked Igor's reply among others.

The biggest problem I see with your reasoning, is that you are only aware of two possible sexual orientations.

^^^I would generalize this to cover all the OP's issues with the theme of the post. OP is unable to use critical thinking and logic, and lazily jumps into false dichotomies randomly popping into her head, and then obsesses over them. The guy is frustrated by that behavior and blows her off, so they they reach repeated impasses. Time for both to move on, as they clearly are incompatible. "Is my boyfriend gay and in denial or am I paranoid", the title question, is a different false dichotomy. Whether he is gay or not, in denial and gay, or not, I only see an OP with a generalized anxiety disorder.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
Have you ever dated a hoarder?
Posted: 1/4/2018 1:52:57 PM

I even recognise the hoarder in myself - however - after moving house three times in a year - I feel I'm getting on top of things. it was and continues to be a hard 'familial' trend to break, as my parents were strong hoarders... and cleaning out their estates involved a LOT of trips to the tip (my father especially)

Jessi, I admire your thought process and progress. Congratulations.

I had a client who died not long ago, with a Will naming me as Executor. Here's his kitchen:

Chromis, Some dignity for the dead is in order. What makes me saddest is that the best he could do for an executor was an unwilling one calling him a client who later anonymously sullies his memory on some inconsequential Internet forum posting an intimate and private picture of the condition of his home and unflattering commentary. No doubt you did a wonderful thing under trying circumstances. Departed or not, try to go the extra mile with respect and dignity, as he probably did not live his life this way, and maybe you even were paid decently for doing the dirty work that others wouldn't do.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
Profile Review
Posted: 1/4/2018 10:11:46 AM

If you're going to use the word, eclectic (ed. "ecletic") in your profile, at least spell it correctly.

Hmmm , eclectic? I thought it might be auletic musical taste, such as Romanian panpipes and Andean zampoña music.

Supercal, my personal opinion is you should avail yourself to the resources you want and cherry-pick the flavors to your personal satisfaction. In the end, you came here for suggestions, not too many cooks to spoil the broth, but under the cliche of there being safety in numbers. Some people want to contribute here and others want to control and shut down the thread and leave you without the perspectives of those who would help. The choice is yours

One in ten is a good ratio at you age from what we hear, assuming the 10% has reasonable quality. Keep in mind that a majority of the profiles here are not available to mortals, as people post a profile, dabble a little, and stop taking it very seriously unless, perhaps, an immortal with a picture of Chris Hemsworth or someone like this drops out of Asgard into their laps to message their stinky profile with a main pic in their loo ;-)

Your pics are good but there is room for really easy improvement with better lighting - I recommend with you facing an afternoon winter Sun. The only nitpick I have on your profile is:

If you want to get to know me better, feel free to drop me a message

The girls know the drill. Nobody likes to be told to contact you, even with a conditional which may come across as feeble. Suggest you ditch the quoted text. If you feel a need (not necessary in my view) to bend over backwards to make yourself approachable, just warm op the tone of the rest of the text further.

Bali sounds like a nice place to be in this season. I'd change Southeast Asia to that if it were my profile, which it is not. Anything to avoid an impression of one night in Bangkok where the world's your oyster; The bars are temples, but the pearls ain't free
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
Lonely men
Posted: 1/3/2018 11:17:32 PM

(9Mi-go, a Yuggothic fungoid)
It has may interesting features such as consorting companion planet named Charon, similar in aspects to the Earth-Moon system, and a humongous darkly colored whale, now called the Cthulhu Macula, hanging around its equatorial belt.

(Sergeant Troutman annotated version)
It has may interesting features such as consorting companion planet named Charon, similar in aspects to the Earth-Moon system, and a humongous darkly colored whale, now called the Cthulhu Macula (this is *EXTREMELY* cool!), hanging around its equatorial belt.

If you are an H. P. Lovecraft enthusiast, in addition to Arlo Troutman being part of the Mythos, you can appreciate the Ninth Planet of science fiction having been discovered by Clyde Tombaugh (Planet "X" discovery announced March, 1930; named May, 1930) as Lovecraft was writing The Whisperer in Darkness(written Feb-Sept, 1930), about an advanced fungoid species living on the hidden Ninth Planet that among other things, transported removed human brains inside canisters connected to sensors making them fully functional for joyrides around the heavens, while bodies were held in suspended animation back on Earth (And a mysterious fungus from there began spreading in Vermont). For historical reason of the excitement and search for the Ninth Planet and how it engendered a new wave of sophisticated science fiction, Cthulhu from Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos was immortalized on "9Yuggoth"... ::

Excerpt from The Whisperer in Darkness:
When I left Brattleboro I resolved never to go back to Vermont, and I feel quite certain I shall keep my resolution. Those wild hills are surely the outpost of a frightful cosmic race—as I doubt all the less since reading that a new ninth planet has been glimpsed beyond Neptune, just as those influences had said it would be glimpsed. Astronomers, with a hideous appropriateness they little suspect, have named this thing “Pluto”. I feel, beyond question, that it is nothing less than nighted Yuggoth—and I shiver when I try to figure out the real reason why its monstrous denizens wish it to be known in this way at this especial time. I vainly try to assure myself that these daemoniac creatures are not gradually leading up to some new policy hurtful to the earth and its normal inhabitants.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
Lonely men
Posted: 1/3/2018 5:33:59 PM
Arlo Troutman - a tough cop on the wrong edge of sanity:


Pluto is not classified as an asteroid any more than Earth, but a large, round, planetoid with an atmosphere and planetary geological activity is scientifically most descriptive. An astrophysicist wouldn't need Latin lessons to convince himself of that! But, sergeant, your cover persona has been blown
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 46 (view)
Lonely men
Posted: 1/3/2018 11:56:13 AM


a dwarf planet


I didn't expect such demoting ad planētams for you, Constable Troutman :(

The IAU current reclassification of Pluto is unsettled since it was done by activists in the field of orbital dynamics after all the (far more numerous members) planetary scientists left the meeting where the vote was to take place. Only 424 members voted of the over 12,600 had the vote been held by the IAU membership. The tally of the vote was ~ 217-205 for those who voted, even though all the activists stuck around to vote they barely squeaked by with their agenda.

Common sense dictates that planetary scientists should be included in the vote on what they study, but they were vastly underrepresented as no one expected this sort of political activism in a scientific organization, and it was after the main meeting adjourned and after the time most people had tickets to go home after the supposed conclusion of the meeting. The vote favored the interpretation that: if it looks like a planet, smells like a planet, tastes, like a planet, it's not a planet unless no underprivileged objects live in its 'planetary neighborhood'. That is, it is not important what it is, but rather, where it is. Thus, if Earth's orbit was distorted, it too could cease to be a planet. As a matter of fact, Earth is not a plaent in its current orbit by the vote, a fact overlooked by the activists.

Since the voting procedure is commonly accepted to be scientifically without merit, championed by an activist from Uruguay and an arrogant dope at Caltech hocking some trashy book 'How I Killed Pluto...", and the man that defined "dwarf planet" anyway defined it as a type of planet (vs. classical planets), Pluto continues to be a planet.

It has may interesting features such as consorting companion planet named Charon, similar in aspects to the Earth-Moon system, and a humongous darkly colored whale, now called the Cthulhu Macula, hanging around its equatorial belt.

I invite you too take a tour of Pluto to discover its natural beauty. The weather is only a tad cooler than the Canadian Arctic air you're enjoying today :-) Here's a tour narrated in 2016 by Dennis Overbye who starts out calling Pluto a planet btw, and created by scientists at the Lunar and Planetary Institute (worldwide organization of planetary scientists) in conjunction with the New York Times:

It was a cold December Sunday, the town was quiet and the street was pretty much deserted. It was lunch time and Arlo was about to start his shift, he was leaning on the bar in a coffee house, about to take a bite from a chicken salad sandwich, when out of the window he saw...

(Ian Thomson, from the Cthulhu Mythos: Arkham After Dark)
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
Lonely men
Posted: 1/2/2018 9:50:19 PM
What's all this about Arlo's profile? He was right initially! NYer, never in a million years would I interpret Arlo's pics as someone engaged in self-satisfaction in those pics, as you do. I think, if you reflect on where your mind is, you may realize interpretations are very telling ... in reverse. The profile pictures are hilarious and it took some some creative effort that doesn't go unnoticed by intelligent women and dogs. Since he's on a tear with crazy pics, maybe he'll add one of his cranium goosed up with a Sharpie's artistic touch requiring no interpretation to put your thoughts in the gutter (maybe a "a maxi-me"?).

I'm like the Ceasar Milan of the aquatic arachnid set.

Fixed this for you:
I'm like the Cesar Millan of the aquatic arachnid set.
The correct Spanish spelling of Caesar is César, and in English written as Cesar. Some snooty Anglogroupies write Caesar, which mirrors the Latin, as you of course know. Nobody writes "Ceasar" as you did. Unless you meant "Seize her", Carpe ei, but please be nice to your dogs.

I'm more of a sarcastic moth.

Fixing this for you:

I'm more of a sarcastic mouth.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
He's Homeless dating on POF for a place to stay :-)
Posted: 1/2/2018 1:16:46 PM

there's a guy on here that is homeless

he pretty much is going from one woman's home to another

LOL. There is a gal on here locally that is doing the same thing. Funny thing is she breaks all these dumb stereotypes listed above about dumpsters, hygiene, shopping carts, and she is hot, a 10 compared to her peers. We talked on the phone a few times, the last was for two hours, which was going to be the foundation of our first date. By that point, she let her guard down and opened up, and signaled to me, in an ambiguous and discreet manner that she was looking for a living arrangement, and separately that she had a northern European view of sex (which is devoid of the puritan version many women have online).

As compelling as it was, I hit the ejection button by the end of the conversation. That was because she did not mention her bodybuilder 18 or 19-year old son, and a little creative googling uncovered him, and showed he could be ... let's leave it at, problematical. Also, there is something about someone wanting to meet you conflating companionship with getting a roof over their head, rather than romance, if the latter is what you want out of it.

I would not feel it my duty to warn or ward people off from her. Very intelligent woman, too bad... I suspect she was doing what she could to survive, not any less, and perhaps more, than the rest of use, and the OP may feel insulted she attracted attention from her failed meeting, but IMO exposes her own lack of compassion by feeling a need to make it public in a demeaning way.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 296 (view)
Do you hide your political affiliation on dates?
Posted: 12/31/2017 6:34:38 PM

The snow is beautiful under a full moon.
Happy New Year Everyone

Blue moon,
warm me embers,
shiver me soul.

Shake up ye timbers;
Silver me gold.

Blue month,
eclipse me once;
Climax ye whole.

Copper ye navel,
Umbra me cold.

Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
boyfriend stood me up Christmas Day
Posted: 12/31/2017 5:31:34 PM
No piece of bass for your boyfriend.

Happy New Year to everyone.

Be careful grabbing a beer on New Year's Day:
(from 2013)
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 554 (view)
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/20/2017 11:58:18 PM
Flip it around. If a woman invited you out for dinner and used a coupon from the Entertainment Book to help cover the tab, would you think *SHE* was cheap? Doubtful.

You're right -- I would find it charming and flattering that she had offered to pay in the first place. However, not everyone appreciates frugality. Try stepping out of "HS' Fairy Tale World" for a minute, where everyone thinks *EXACTLY LIKE YOU DO*, and realize that the *REAL* world contains *REAL* people; and, while *SOME* might appreciate cost-consciousness, many *DO NOT*.

Arlo, enough tension already, you and halcyon just get a room - it's long overdue.

When somebody offers to pay, only a idiot is worried what color their money is - I thought everybody knew that. I was invited recently to a dinner by an online contact. There was a problem with paying and a moment of awkwardness, but I caught on she used a ~$15 off coupon (her discreet cover was blown). Just got the coupon from her, got up and spoke to the manager and pressured him to clear it. I was flattered, and her adrenaline level as she sat at the table wondering what she stepped into was quite the ice breaker... It was a lot of fun. Some folks should lighten up instead of mortifying themselves with a f-ing coupon LOL.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
when harass is one word
Posted: 12/20/2017 12:43:53 PM

Started a job and it’s been a month and I got sick and started coughing, I got my co workers sick too and 3 of co workers always says it’s all your fault . What can I do about it, yea I got sick but it’s out of my control .

If it is the policy of the workplace that you come to work coughing all over, then you should tell your co-workers it's not your fault, it is the company's fault. If you are given sick days or approved absence, then it may be your fault for thinking of yourself first and coming to work contagious, when you were not supposed to. If there is a probation period that you didn't want to blemish by being absent and disregarded flagrantly, getting everyone sick will probably show you are not a match.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 107 (view)
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/19/2017 10:02:08 AM
I think you should read Clara's posts all over (and profile). It's an obvious troll trying to cause a ruckus -- not merely someone with some eye-rolling POVs.

That is the point, we are dealing with a troll here. I don’t mind “eye-rolling POVs”, hell I like to see some diversity, gives us something to talk about. People are free to express their viewpoint, and I am free to disagree with them.

A troll, whether phony POV or not, that is provocative and puts the effort into finding flaws in arguments does increase the diversity. If there is no useful content in the troll post, just don't respond. Why bother expending time and effort to ban

Bitterness is for people that don't play the game correctly

This is actually a good assumption for discussion. As a statement it is devoid of content until we define exactly what Clara and each person defines the 'game' to be, and who's playing.


I guess this is all going right over my head and this is an area I am ignorant about this contraption of capital letters. I read LIR's definition and the other comments, and the best I can figure is that it's some made up internet troll hashtag for some folks to self-identify around, having withdrawn from the dating pool. It reminds me of kids buying a bunch of black T-shirts in high school, as a response to trauma suffered, and then wearing them to belong to some identity other than the mainstream's. Seems six of one and a half dozen of the other from reading these threads, in that they ought to consider opening their ranks to women having the same outlook... Then people can go their own way together. But most women are still frightened to go into a seedy cantina :grin:
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
Confusion over guys behaviour
Posted: 12/18/2017 9:03:58 AM
You are right, you just met this guy. Others are quick to label him with all kinds of negative placards and tell you to dump him. This based on him not being bat-crap crazy about you and making assumption on how. Does that pass the smell test? Remember in high school? This is no different.

We are all in a competitive environment, and you should not be pressuring someone you don't know, but you shouldn't immediately sour-grape everyone. Text with the same intensity as he does and keep your options open and do not consider the meet up anything more than one more step. As Henry said #6 -my favorite comment here - do not put all your eggs in one basket is the only strategy. If you liked him, keep your emotions under control and don't pine on him for any reason, not exhibit desperation of any kind, and walk that talk.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 510 (view)
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/17/2017 12:20:06 PM
I might list it as "artificial pig inseminator",
^^^Doing quality control putting it in blow-up pig dolls all day long leaves him seeing stars.

I see a lot of guys stating they don't want a sugar mama, so there must be a lot of that going on for them to mention it. Maybe it's because a lot of these men are jobless. For profession, a lot say carpenter or contractor, which can mean they're not working. You're not working for a company, so their job is more like a side job if they're even working. That's what I've gathered from asking some of them. Some men state they're on disability.

There's another possibility: some men might be deliberately low-balling their profession, as a sort of filter to weed out some women who might be looking for a man in a certain type of profession, as classes of profession tend to correlate with income.
For instance, rather than listing my profession as "world-class astrophysicist", I might list it as "artificial pig inseminator", to weed out those pesky astrophysics groupies, who will spend my Nobel Prize monetary awards as fast as they roll in.

This subject is so dripping with hypocrisy and dishonesty^^^ That is, sadly, that the lies and deception in profiles are rampant. And people wonder why PoF girls and boys get such a bad generalized wrap. On one hand you have people claiming moral high ground about others lying about body type (it never ends), a.k.a. weight, or age (see '10 years older' thread, etc.), yet for some reason you see liars about profession (probably the same ones that took the moral high ground) who try to pass themselves off with stolen valor of retirement, carpentry, consultancy, etc. Turns out they may be disabled and not list it, probably sitting on a large amount of equity on their homes, yet collecting on the public dole and not even paying property tax to their communities, being the ultimate cheapskates. Ewwwww!!!! The problem is they've learned to lie and cheat so well, and only a few folks like Walts calls them out:

^^^^^^ To me, that sounds like you don't want to show the whole truth of the matter when you are first representing yourself.
I know, I know. First impressions.
Problem with that is that a few of us see thru them before you even put the effort in.

Walts is right. Luckily it doesn't take time for some to see right through the charade. It does not take "getting to know someone on several dates for them to show their true colors", etc...., even for the geeks with degrees in jet propulsion or celestial mechanics! They go out on a date and the partner immediately senses they are being deceived. The dope partners get filtered out and continue dating the cheaters, like cash cows these dishonest gold-diggers really offer nothing but their body, as if that were enough. These people say they are looking for honesty, they deceive you once, they'll do it again, as we all know. Who would want to spend the rest of their life with such a person? Not me - they'd get the boot LOL!
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 504 (view)
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/16/2017 9:12:48 PM

So someone on disability is the same as being retired?
You expect men to pay because you can’t
Utter nonsense

WTH Frothy, are you making crap up? If it is just general, though you're probably right. The sad thing about those who free-load off their partners, is that those relationships almost always end by one of them cheating. More often it is the one getting the free ride, since living a lifestyle of dependence deep down challenges dignity,blurs days and they begin to spin by. The dream of such a person is to have a new partner in shining armor swoop in and save them, so if a horny suitor plays along they are so receptive. Same applies to those on the dole. Challenge their fantasy, though, and the suitor's booted
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 486 (view)
Am I being made to feel less than a woman for lack of 'assets'?
Posted: 12/16/2017 12:21:40 AM

Judging by the preponderance of the evidence, he didn't like women and he was cheap. He had to go

I understand how you came to view this bloke. Reading between the lines, though, there is something very unsettling about the narrative. The gaping hole in the story -- why you would continue to go out with someone to keep learning all these different things about them after the first dose being so repulsive to you and tasting disagreeably?

Oh, wait (continues reading...)

With his 6-figure salary, he had

Now it is all finally making sense

And as an aside:

The movie was free per a pass he had from work

The aforementioned oxymoron, as per agreement by the second party with the party of the first ...

NY, I personally think you're pretty in a Gina Gillotti way, love to see you put on a turtleneck and purple headband, so here's a gelato 🍨 for you no need to go dutch

--Dennis the Menace
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
Guy slept with me then blocked me?
Posted: 12/13/2017 10:49:39 PM

What's the point in wearing a chastity belt ?

Key or no key, isn't a chastity belt just a sexy myth or novelty (as in sex toy) like in the link?

Fiddling for a key seems like a recipe for disaster for going to the bathroom, for cleanliness, not to mention the chafing which has got to leave you the thigh gap raw ... wearing it loose wouldn't be effective ...

If you lose the key, would you call the firehouse and have the crew come over?
Red faced, "Ummm, my cat's wedged up a tree"

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