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 Author Thread: Attraction in your 50's
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 171 (view)
Attraction in your 50's
Posted: 12/9/2007 4:16:07 PM
OK, we have a problem here. We are older. That's it, wrinkles, blood pressure, performance pressure, but that is not a problem.

I have a number of women who have responded, or looked, they are all, ALL, 58, is that just a coincidence?

The first '58' I went out with was way, way over that age. That wasn't really a problem. We had a nice afternoon, laughed alot, got on well.

But, she lied, that goes to heart of a relationship. Lying, after I told her I wasn't interested because of lying, she got in to a huff. "Why do I have to admint my age, I can pass for younger. I don't want to date my father."

Lying, that was the problem. Yup, I might not have responded if I knew how old she was, but after meeting her (her hands gave her away, big time) and she swore the picture was taken within the year, I realized she was lying.

We dumped****Nixon and prosecuted Bill Clinton and Lewis Libby for lying. The American people, I am one of them really hate to be lied to.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 8:45:33 AM
Writing is great therapy, sending is a complete disaster.

Remember that 'living well' is the best revenge. Just live your life and fill it with others and the pain will lessen.

If you really want revenge. the opposite of love is not hate, it is indefference. If you stay indifferent you will be better off and it will hurt your ex-more.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
is being angry all the time what marriage in real life is all about?
Posted: 11/25/2007 1:23:51 PM
Ann Landers said for years: "Is love supposed to feel this way?"

If it doesn't feel right, it isn't.

But, Ron9, isn't it amazing how some people just don't know any other way of communicating besides yelling? I have known lots of couples like that, they just don't know any 'nice' way to talk.

But, don't ever get between them, wow, like sibblings, they will yell at each other, but if you think you can do it too, are you wrong, wrong, wrong. When they both gang up on you, yhat is when you learn they need each other, love each other and it is just their way.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 28 (view)
Is it really that difficult to find a suitable partner?
Posted: 11/19/2007 9:30:11 AM
OK, I am new at this.

Here is the problem I seem to encounter.
1) we meet at POF and email.
2) we agree to meet.
4) We try a few more times and realize that one of us really doesn't want to do this.
5) Which doesn't, doesn't matter. Actions are the only real language, you do it or you don't that is all that makes the date happen.

We have lives, we are not happy, but we won't move out of our comfort zone to risk.

Remembering that 'risk equals reward' might move us along, but most are really happy now being able to have a community that listens to us and a place to find mutually agreeable souls.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
separated/living together
Posted: 11/16/2007 2:34:24 PM
She wouldn't leave.

I filed, she wouldn't even leave the bed. She wanted to hang on.

That was fine, but all the reasons she was being fired as a wife had nothing to do with the bedroom. She had abandoned me and the 3 children emotionally years and years ago.

I kept it up because I had kids to raise (I hope you have noticed the pronouns, I am the man, father) and I couldn't leave them to her. They didn't want me to leave either.

Finally, when they all were old enough and found their own way I filed and she wouldn't leave. Finally I asked her if she had no dignity at all? She moved to another bed room.

The kids and I are close, they are doing great.

She never once said she wanted to reconcil, she ACTED that way. She made it all as difficult as possible, but wouldn't sit with me and patch up all she had done to me over the years. Many ugly situations, none with other people however, for either of us.

So, she waited for my birthday and our son to be home visiting and that was the weekend she left. I only found out when my lawyer called to tell me she had left (Yeah, I had checked with my son to be sure I didn't need to call the police).

I did the best I could for over 20 years, out of 35, and she didn't want to leave, but couldn't discuss staying. So, yeah, separated but living together because I am that kind of guy.

Good luck.

BTW in Russia, couples divorce and can't afford to separate.
Other places, see today's story about Saudi Arabia where the victim of a rape by 7 men has been sentenced to 200 lashes, to see that we ain't so bad.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
Need some advice
Posted: 11/6/2007 3:03:04 PM
Move on brother.

He is a lying abuser.

She is a drama queen playing you.

You don't need this, there are lots more (oh dare I say this) more fish in the river flowing past your door.

Your daughter is much more important that a co-dependent couple doing a number on your front porch.
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 198 (view)
Posted: 11/1/2007 4:42:32 PM
Baggage, friends who love you for more years than your marriage
You children, parents?
Jobs, and life experience.
If there is a sexual act that was done to you, one that you don't want repeated, that is baggage!

Get over yourselves folks, I am a really nice guy with great friends and family.

But, they are not my lovers, so I look for a lover and you say I have baggage? Are you really so vacant?

This is what makes memories. I wanted them with my wife, after many years I couldn't deal with a person who doesn't feel these are the building blocks of our marriage. So, I filed and divorced, once my kids were launched.

Should I jetison 3 great children on the chance we might be a couple?

I don't want you and you don't want me.
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