Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

          

Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: being to harsh?
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
being to harsh?
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:38:39 PM
And my personal advice, never ask why. There were times when I was asked this and just said, "I met someone else" or "My work/school/life situation is just too demanding right now and I don't want to put you through that" or "I'm just ****ed up right now and I don't want to hurt you..." or "I'm just not ready for a committed blah blah blah", etc.... when the real answers had to do w/ personal hygiene, weight gain, table manners, you're just too frickin boring for me, you don't EVER shut the F up or you just straight up suck as a human being and I choose to not deal with you. I don't need to explain why. I don't want to fight about why - because - inevitably that's what will happen. A big discussion about how you may are may not be fucked up in the way that I see you and you don't like it.

People that ask why are still looking to be validated... like, oh, ya, well, I don't want to be with you because of [insert some benign innocuous excuse that still makes you look and feel wanted and cool]. It's not you it's me = It's definitely you and NOT me! lol
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
being to harsh?
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:31:18 PM
Its all blown out of proportion to be quite honest. Half the stuff isn't related to what I've asked. Which Is kinda why i want it to die.


That "die" thing is blowing it out of proportion. You got denied by a chick big deal. Like you've never denied a chick? Given that you feel this way, imagine how they must have felt, etc... etc...

Rejection is common and to be honest, the person who denies truly *owes* you NOTHING. Doesn't make it right, but don't get upset over it. Don't vent in an online forum about how that biatch shoulda/coulda done somn' better. It just shows how you're hurt over it. Respect is not demanded, it's commanded. Love isn't forced it's given. If a girl isn't on your level of class - F em and move on.


what I have a problem is with is people talking about something unrelated and spouting crap about rejection, blowing the date yada yada.. thats not what I'm asking is it? and making bullshit judgements on how i take a rejection. I prefer to be told they're not interested.. that was my incredible "whine"


It reads as if you have an issue with *this* particular rejection. Your tone was pretty much heavily annoyed to angry. So, an inference could be drawn that you were hurt and don't easily accept rejection. It wasn't the point that was your "incredible 'whine'" but rather the tone of your post. Most people were only trying to help and like the rejection you posted about you've now gotten a bit defensive. No big deal... water under the bridge.


My experience is this tends to happen when being rejected. That is why its becoming annoying. understandable? I think so.


Again, you're getting annoyed. Why? Girls have a plethora of choices in the dating world and they may have several suitors vying for their attention... guys get denied (not to say girls don't). Don't get annoyed. It's a numbers game - you can't get 'em all.... but you'll ultimately end up with just the right one ;) #guycode
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Struggling with a depression -mad mix of stuff
Posted: 2/11/2013 1:15:42 PM
Go to an AA meeting or NA meeting. When they tell stories about how ****ed up their lives are/were you will get a resounding feeling that you are really not depressed and just self wallowing about a life that really isn't too shabby. Something inside of you is looking for anything else but you and you need to find that source. While I understand missing your man/girl I don't think you need to seek a counselor over that specifically. I think your feeling down is a bigger issue than him and the way he speaks about all those great things. I think the latter half of your post is more revealing/telling and you need to focus on those and not your man. Feels there may be a bit of co-dependency going on. Hang out w/ some girlfriends when he's not around, etc...
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
19 and a single mother,
Posted: 2/11/2013 12:25:47 AM
Well, I would be put off being that you're 19 years old and you stated your child is 17 years old ;) lolol
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
why go for douches and then complain at men?
Posted: 2/10/2013 11:04:57 PM
The girls that go for these types of guys you ultimately wouldn't want anyway. At least, not past a roll in the hay. They usually have their own set of issues and see these types "douches" as a challenge and also have a love for the bad boy stereo type as they find this more interesting than a standard no frill nice guy type. What they don't understand is that these guys have some issues of their own and it will never work out between them.

There are some girls that fall for what they thought was a nice guy and then he turns on them... but they have the option to get out. Funny thing to watch for is the perpetual "he was nice when I met him" excuse. Everybody has a representative when they first meet someone else. The goal is to "date" enough to get past that and then make a decision to commit IMO.
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
being to harsh?
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:50:24 PM
I agree w/ ^^^^^^^^^^^ above mine.

It's sad that women won't respond and be open / honest, but lets' be honest. If she doesn't respond at all I think we all know what that means. Depending on the chick I've done that in my younger days. Now, I will just state that it prob wont work out and tell them that we can be friends.... i think thats the right thing to do.


We didn't say you throw a tantrum. Point is, you don't have the right to verbally chastise people. Especially someone you barely know and went on a single date with.

Verbally attacking someone in any fashion, especially after a date where they clearly blew you off, is not only jerkish, but bordering on creeperish. It is completely irrational to react the way you did.


He does have the "right" but is it still "right" to do so? I don't think that gets you anywhere and is a waste of time. But I understand that you have an ego (it's not a negative thing) and that it may have been hurt a bit. But, any guy who's dated a chick before has had this happen. So - whatevs - move on and don't worry about how others behave.
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Help - what do you think happened?
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:42:06 PM
I'd go with Ree on her assessment.... guys that want to be there WILL. Bottom line. Anything else (short of a car accident) is just BS. And Ree's response:


So...I sat there by myself, ordered dinner and polished off a bottle of wine. Kind of pathetic I guess. Ugh.


That is the way to do it! haha! That's what I would have done~
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:09:23 PM
Don't hold your breath. Hope for the best expect the worst (in most cases reality).
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Gentle Guys
Posted: 2/10/2013 10:06:18 PM
Just don't be a wuss about it. [Straight] Women like *Men*. Doesn't mean you can't be chivalrous. And macho doesn't really have much to do with it either. Some girls like macho. Some girls like sensitive types that are still *manly*. Girls like all types of guys but just try not to be that stereo typical "nice" guy that you read/hear so much about.
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Valentines dilemna
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:47:31 PM
Pete may have his own theory about how to solve things - I wouldn't pay her and sex often doesn't remedy the loss of love. If it were that easy there would be no hurting men on the earth. We'd breakup, hookup and then be out trying to shake it up lol. In any case, I do agree that if you need to - find a single friend to kick it with on that day. A lot of single girls will be out and they'll be feeling like you. BTW - couples usually won't go to a BAR on this holiday. Can you imagine a girl's face when her man is like, ya, lets go to the dive bar down the street for our special day!? Although i'm sure it has happened (80/20) in any case - girls there will be feeling similar to you. All their girls will be out with their dudes, etc.... you might find a great opp to meet a great *NEW* person. If that won't work, strippers love valentines day lol. You at least won't be thinking about calling her. In fact, delete her number from your phone and you won't have to worry about it again.

And I don't agree w/ the guy who posted no VDay attempt could be bad and it's neutral. Listen, we're guys, when a girl asks that you don't call. You don't call. Especially not incessantly (#guycode). If they really want you to it will STILL turn out into your favor. If they wanted you to call and you didn't - you'll get a call asking why you didn't and you simply respond with - I love you, I got you a little something but you asked not to call and then make plans to give her the gift. Then take your ass and go get som'n lolol.
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Anyone have experience with a pathological liar?
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:36:41 PM
Yes, run - run fast - don't look back - don't listen - RUN. Get out while you still can. They are THE WORST. I don't even need to share my stories because all you need to know is RUN, run like the wind. Run like Forrest. Run like you're about to win an olympic gold medal vs. the bolt!
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:29:24 PM
and btw - 30 is still young.....
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
feeling lost and empty
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:28:41 PM
If you feel that it took you this long to find the love of your life and now you're worried about the fact you may be alone for the rest of your life, etc... then you have to wonder is the loneliness and sadness really about her? Are those emotions laden in what she really brought to the table or is it what you just stated. Don't be afraid. I've been in love three times in my life. One turned into marriage, one almost turned into marriage after six years of dating and the other one is "the one that got away". Don't fret mon frer - there are plenty of fish in the sea. In the mean time, hang with your family, homeboys, etc.... and get your mind off her. The more time you have to think and obsess about her you will. When a girl asks you never to call her again - don't. It never works. If they miss you they'll text you after you go MIA and then tell you you're an ***hole for not even trying to contact her lol. #cantwin
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Making it past Valentine's Day
Posted: 2/10/2013 7:22:23 PM
Valentines is just another day when you *reallly* think about it. Don't over analyze. What does suck is that TV, Radio, neighbors, stores, etc... all have all that "dumb" shit blaring in our faces. So, even though drinking is a short term solution your original post was just about making it past valentines day lol. That's how you do it. Go to a nudie bar and bring a bottle and when you find a hot stripper to hang out with request they play the song "You and me and the bottle makes three tonight!" lol.
 bbqchickenrobot
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Question for all
Posted: 2/10/2013 6:59:42 PM
She's just trying to be nice. Girls lie to each other all the time about various little things because they do love/like/respect, etc... each other. You are in the "Friend Zone" my friend. I have been in that situation since Jr. High and with the exception of a few I ended having the girl like me. Reason #1 - I wasn't a P*#@ssy about anything. They felt protected (in social situations, dangerous situations, etc...) and I still kept them laughing all the time. I would tel them how good looking they were (cause they actually were) but not in the "creepy friend" that likes you way. The appreciated the compliment and new I wasn't just trying to get some benefit action. Do you get what I'm saying? I basically didn't really care about a relationship or love with them and *it turned THEM on*. I became sort of a challenge in their minds. Actually, one girl I told early on that I was into her, but she denied me. Later on - years later - she then flipped it on me and said she liked me. But guess what ? It was too late. The roles had reversed and I felt the friend zone was crossed and I had seen her do too many things for me to have a love interest with her. I guess, shit happens.

So, my point is, you're in a bad situation and you may have to pull back from her. Don't swamp her and be the annoying puppy dog that's always crying and running between her legs for some attention. Date another girl. Any girl. Tell her about it. Maybe she will realize she doesn't like it either. Also, tell her how you feel and that you feel awkward because Joe Blow has an issue with you and that you need to give your relationship with her some distance because of x, y, z feelings (part of what you stated above). I'm not saying dump her as a friend, but get some space because - one it will help you move on if she's not interested or two - maybe she'll realize she misses you in a way that she didn't know before.

In the end my advice isn't to get you to "pull" her - but to end up getting you straight and off her or her to see you for who you are. If you've already told a woman you're into her - that's all they need. If she really wanted to she would be with you. If she doesn't know what she wants, etc, etc... then she's just not that into you and you should move on (in love terms). Give yourself some space and go out and meet/date people as well. If that area is slow for you (like it is for me right about now) hang out with your boys more and less her! You can still talk and hang just give yourself some space. It may not be easy but you gotta do it. #guycode #thegame lol ;)
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
He logged into POF while on a weekend Date with me
Posted: 11/6/2007 12:36:52 PM
I think you're reading way too into this... big deal. He went online on a site you met him on on your first date. If it was a bit more serious, I would empathize. But it's not.
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Interracial all the way..
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:42:51 PM

well, I was trying to vent my frustrations and came across this blog. Somebody please take me back to where i come from cause this La shit is for the birds. This is nothing like the city. In the city you see power mixed couples,both of them are good looking and both carry well paying jobs. Over here you see Low class trailer park white women with tore up negroes all the time. I dont want that,I want what the white dudes want,keep them rejects. I come from class and wont be un equally matched up.
Right now the white girls are holding it down as far as the best bodies,it used to be the sisters,but now a lot of the sisiters has mistaken flab for fine.The sisters arent working out or staying active like they should. So, give me a white woman anyday but not the ones that routinely date blacks,give me one that i can bring somewhere.

La is bullshit on interracial dating.And i dont want my lighter skinned sister knowing more rap tunes than i do,give me a little of both cultures.


Easy on Cali homeboy..... i don't know where you hang out, but obviously not the dope part of LA. YOu might need to figure out where to kick it other than south central and/or Inglewood n!gga
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Why do guys go for the bad girl?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:25:42 PM
Wow, I just realized I responded to a post that was almost two years old. whooops.... yaaa......
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Why do guys go for the bad girl?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:22:39 PM
You want an honest answer? Here you go....

Yes. We do. Anyone who says any different is lying. Those LIARS. lol.

But we don't want a "slut" (well, not for more than one night). I don't date or have relations with women who are hyper-promiscuous. Turn off... There's that old saying, you can't turn a wh0re into a house wife right...

Secondly, guys are physical and visual beings, we don't use are brains and emotions to equate to attraction. We use three of our senses - touch, smell and vision. So when you look smoking hot, our minds are already there. But, those air heads that just giggle and say things that make other people dumber are not cool!!! no offense to you airheads if any are out there.

Ludacris said it best, we want a lady in the street but a freak in the bed. Which is true. It's a turn on for us.

So, to summarize (in short) - yes, we do like the sexed up vamp pot... sorry, one just walked by....
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What is the sense in even trying to attract women any longer?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:14:38 PM
And don't be desperate - women can smell that like it's a bad cologne...
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
What is the sense in even trying to attract women any longer?
Posted: 10/26/2007 5:11:37 PM
Think in terms of animals (mammals) - only the strongest survive. ONly the strongest males get to mate with (the best) females... so - dood, if you wanna land some ladies you can't be too lazy and not try!!! Girls like guys that make an effort. Bottom line. Pimpin 101... secondly, girls don't like you for your money, they *use* you for your money. Do you really want that?

You need to quit ****in and do something productive about your situation - it might be hard, but it's worth it. It's a numbers game... you get better with every try. DOn't be afraid to walk up to a girl and talk and tell her what you want (her) - with confidence! Have you tried changing your appearance? Dressing more stylish? Making an effort to be more entertaining and charming? Do you have sex appeal or are you a wuss? How is your body? No offense, but if you're overweight you're less attractive. Fat is inversely proportional to attractiveness...

I don't have to tell you this stuff (or do i?) as most men already know they just aren't willing to do any of this. They just want a woman to magically like them. You want the blonde bombshell who is 5'9" with a slammin body and a perfect 10 face, but you aren't willing to make an effort to become more appealing and attractive to women... pretty hard to do in my opinion lol.

Girls don't necessarily like good looking guys - they like guys for many, many other reasons... it's a lot easier for us than it is for them lol

Good luck man...
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Caught Cheating
Posted: 10/26/2007 4:58:11 PM
How did you find out? Personally, I think you should mind your business and stay out of their affairs... but that's my opinion. I can see how their may be a sense of obligation to inform the cheated... but you can destroy a relationship if you do that. Would you care if this guy is out of your life? Do you care enough about her to lose him?!?
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
do you believe in this saying or not?
Posted: 10/26/2007 4:54:46 PM
I fell in love with sex!??!?
 bbqchickenrbt
Joined: 10/23/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Stirring the pot: Should a guy have to pay on a date all the time?
Posted: 10/26/2007 4:53:33 PM
That comes down to a matter of tradition. If you're like me, traditional, then yes. But, don't be afraid to let the woman offer and actually pay for a few things every now and again - they're doing it to be nice ;)
 
Show ALL Forums