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 Author Thread: What do you think about men our age with small kids??
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 80 (view)
 
What do you think about men our age with small kids??
Posted: 3/4/2010 6:10:51 PM
My youngest is 34, so I've been kid-free for a long time. I have two grandchildren, one 8, and one just a babe. I've recently become friends with a man who is just a few years younger than I am but has a four year old. I'm quite enchanted with both of them. If the friendship progresses to something more, the child will be an added sweetness in my life.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Using shipping containers for housing in quake zones?
Posted: 2/2/2010 3:43:37 PM
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/177274/neighborhood_revitalization_project.html?cat=6

These are permanent houses, built in an area that gets regular hurricanes. I think that if the houses are just one story they might be ok in a quake zone.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
 
PhD Dating and dating PhD's
Posted: 10/18/2009 6:28:37 PM
I'm a woman with a phud and sometimes I think I shouldn't mention it, that it scares men away. I didn't get mine until I was 46. The last LTR I had was with someone who had barely finished high school and I always considered him my intellectual equal. I've known a lot of really smart people without fancy degrees, and a lot of really dumb people with them. If I meet someone I find compatible I don't care what their level of education is as long as they don't make an issue of mine.

So what do you all think? Should I mention the phud in my profile or not?
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Walking
Posted: 9/19/2009 9:38:05 AM
I live at the beach . I can't see it from my windows but can hear the surf. I walk on it every morning for an hour before work, watch the sun rise. Sometimes I see dolphins.

If I found someone who wanted to walk with me he'd have to be quiet so that I could continue to enjoy the peace.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Responsibilitys of Age Gap Relationships
Posted: 8/1/2009 11:45:05 AM
I would bet that the age of our parents and the age of our children plays a role in who we choose to get involved with. My father was 23 when i was born, and I had my first kid at 20. I have no interest in getting involved with anyone who is closer to my father's or my son's ages than they are to mine.

A cousin of mine, whose parents didn't have her until they'd been married for twenty years, married a guy who was 18 years older, she was in her forties, he was in his sixties, they never had kids. Everything was great until he hit 80 and started falling apart. She did stand by him, but I think she was relieved that his deterioration did not last too long.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Did use of psychadelic drugs spark long-term benefits to your mind, thinking and logic?
Posted: 4/27/2009 7:58:37 PM
Peacethx, maybe I'm more optimistic than you. I believe some of the changes in perception were more enduring, and I see it in my kids and their friends.

Many of us who played with psychedelics in the sixties discovered new ways of looking at the world, some of us retreated to safer places, some of us had no such places to retreat to, some of us continued exploring, making new connections, synthesizing multiplicities of perspective.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Women attributing their realtionship problems to chioldhood abuse....
Posted: 4/12/2009 3:59:12 PM
I want to come back to something Silken Fire raised above. Why is it that many women who have survived various forms of abuse become more compassionate while so many men who've been through traumas instead become ungenerous, incapable of connecting?

Or is it just the men she and I are meeting?
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 44 (view)
 
percentage lying about age
Posted: 2/23/2009 2:02:53 PM
I just had a man email me who claimed in his profile to be 58. I just turned 59.

He admitted that he is actually 74, but thinks he looks young for his age, and asked why age was important to me!
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
how long without sex is normal?
Posted: 1/15/2009 8:58:30 AM
It ought to be considered normal to spend a few years alone after the end of a longterm relationship. Too many people rush out and find someone new, and then repeat the same mistakes they made the last time. OP, hold out for someone who appreciates that you've spent the last several years alone.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 1098 (view)
 
~Couric interview
Posted: 9/25/2008 4:51:20 PM
A little while ago I saw a small segment of Couric's interview of Palin. Couric asked her to explain why she thinks it's important that Alaska is next to Russia. Palin's response was utterly pathetic, so much os that I almost felt sorry for her.

Then I saw a McCain ad that said Obama plans to tax our savings accounts!
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 1066 (view)
 
It looks like McCain's VP pick is Sarah Palin
Posted: 9/19/2008 9:50:30 AM
I think you may have missed halftime's point which is that Palin has not been taking every opportunity she could to do interviews. If she really wanted to prove herself she'd be talking way more to the press than she is. Maybe she had two off days, maybe if she'd done dozens of interviews in the last few weeks we would find out that she's very knowledgeable and competent. (Personally, I tend to doubt it, but hey, that's just my opinion.) Why isn't she doing more interviews?
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Is World Peace Possible?
Posted: 9/18/2008 6:49:01 AM
Dear John, I hope that you and yours never have to live through war.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Is World Peace Possible?
Posted: 9/18/2008 6:04:00 AM
As a parent, grandparent, teacher, and human being I hope that future generations will live free of the scourges of war. I believe that peace is possible and desirable. I will continue to look for the good in people, and for the commonalities rather than the differences.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Is World Peace Possible?
Posted: 9/17/2008 4:43:48 PM
Sorry, I had no intention to offend you. You said that two people couldn't live under one roof and I assumed you spoke from experience.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Is World Peace Possible?
Posted: 9/17/2008 3:33:59 PM
Gee Lilly, I'm sorry that's been your experience of living with other people! I've often wondered how much of what we consider to be "human nature" is actually learned behavior. We live in a culture that values competition (just look at how much time and energy and money we devote to competitive sports, for instance), and that values materialism. We want to win at our sports and have more toys than others. We are taught to look for the differences between people rather than the similarities.

A book you might find interesting: Cultures of Peace: The Hidden Side of History, by Elise Boulding.

Peace
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Is World Peace Possible?
Posted: 9/17/2008 2:56:17 PM
We can communicate with almost anyone almost anywhere in real time, and the computer will even translate, so differences in language are no longer an obstacle to negotiation. We have the resources and the technology to alleviate suffering- famine, epidemics- disaster- in any part of the world. And we have weapons capable of wiping out all life on earth.

It is time to put an end to war, time to grow up as a species.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Is America the BEST Country in the World?
Posted: 9/16/2008 4:56:50 PM
We keep saying America as if the United States of America is the only country on this rather large continent known as America. What's up with that?
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 128 (view)
 
Why do you think Sarah will not speak to the media?
Posted: 9/16/2008 4:46:44 PM
" Every gun that is made, every warship that is launched, every rocket that is fired signifies in the final sense a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those that are cold and not clothed."

D. D. Eisenhower, 1946
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 1023 (view)
 
It looks like McCain's VP pick is Sarah Palin
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:44:11 PM
And they're still running an ad saying she stopped the bridge to nowhere! I saw it today.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 149 (view)
 
Significant lead in polls for McCain
Posted: 9/15/2008 2:44:15 AM
And if it hadn't been for women marching in the streets we wouldn't have gotten the vote!
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Have you ever been polled?
Posted: 9/13/2008 5:26:10 PM
The polls say this and that but who are they polling? I've asked a whole lot of people in various parts of the country, from various walks of life, and none of them have ever been polled on political opinions. So I'm curious, have you ever been polled? And is there some kind of oversight on polls? Do you think the polls are really neutral?
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
more Gandhi quotes
Posted: 9/13/2008 8:52:14 AM
“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

“An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind.”

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

“Earth provides enough to satisfy every man's need, but not every man's greed”

“The most heinous and the most cruel crimes of which history has record have been committed under the cover of religion or equally noble motives”

“Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause”

“An error does not become truth by reason of multiplied propagation, nor does truth become error because nobody sees it.”

“You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result”

“We must always seek to ally ourselves with that part of the enemy that knows what is right”

“The law of love could be best understood and learned through little children”

http://thinkexist.com/quotes/mahatma_gandhi/


Let's shift that pardigm!

Peace
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Race Relations in America...
Posted: 9/12/2008 9:45:38 AM
Stranger, unless you're lying about your age you're the same age as I am, 58, and I was under ten all through the fifties. You really expect me to believe you were listening to Malcolm at that age, and understood what he was talking about, and remember it? What's your real agenda?
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Race Relations in America...
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:48:21 PM
This evening I went out to dinner with an elderly friend. We are both white. As we got out of the car two white men getting out of an adjacent car started hassling us for having an Obama sticker. We ignored them. As we walked away the last thing we heard one of them say was you don't look like n$89576s.

In the restaurant we met up with some friends, one of whom recounted that a plumber he had hired came to his house a few days ago and started giving him shit for having an Obama sign outside. Our friend promptly escorted him out of the house.

Yes I would like to believe we're past this all, but we're not. And yes, things are better now than in the past but it's still not enough.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Race Relations in America...
Posted: 9/11/2008 1:36:46 PM
According to US Census data the median household income of Black families in 2006 was $31,969., while that for white families was $50,673.
http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0104552.html

Stranger, in your opinion this is because they don't want to work hard enough, they don't "want to do what people want them to do"? That sounds like a stereotype to me.

And it's not all just about economics. I have middle-class African-American friends who have been stopped for "driving while Black" on numerous occasions, just one of the numerous form of discrimination people of color in this country have to deal with.

I do hope people of color will jump in here and tell it like it is.

While I was typing this I had the news on, NPR, and they were discussing race. An older white woman said that she would not vote for Obama because he's a Muslim and, in her words, "if you're a Muslim, you're a Muslim until you die." When it was pointed out to her that Obama is not and has never been a Muslim she said she did not believe him.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Race Relations in America...
Posted: 9/11/2008 12:52:06 PM
I think there are a lot of people who will not vote for Obama simply because he is African-American. Sadly, racism is alive and well here in this country, as it is in many others. Yes, things have improved in the last few decades, but members of racial minority groups are still discriminated against.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Palin's actions toward native Alaskan's rights - not good
Posted: 9/11/2008 8:05:50 AM
Same here. I got curious about this poll thing a few years ago and started asking everyone I knew if they'd ever been polled, and no one had been.

The only time I ever got polled was for one of those tv watching things. The pollster was amazed that I did not even own a tv even though I was a reasonably comfortable well-employed educated homeowner.

I don't trust polls.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Why do some younger men want to have sex with an older woman?
Posted: 9/11/2008 7:47:31 AM
I haven't read all of the posts. My last long relationship was with a man 8 years younger. Once you're beyond the age of childbearing (ok, I know a few of you guys are into having babies with women young enough to be your daughters) it makes some sense for women to be with younger men since women tend to outlive men by several years. That way we're more likely to have a partner for the rest of our lives.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 191 (view)
 
Why Women Prefer Taller Men - The definitive answer
Posted: 9/11/2008 7:38:07 AM
typo fixed:
I haven't read through all of the posts here, so maybe somebody has already said this. I am 5'5", but I have long legs. Women's legs, proportionate to height, tend to be longer than men's. So when I'm joined at the hip, to put it delicately, with a man my height or shorter, his feet hit my shins. I'm not sure why this doesn't appeal to me, maybe it reminds me of the times when the kids would slip into bed with us because they were having a bad dream.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 190 (view)
 
Why Women Prefer Taller Men - The definitive answer
Posted: 9/11/2008 7:35:05 AM
I haven't read through all of the posts here, so maybe somebody has already said this. I am 5'5", but I have long legs. Women's legs, proportionate to height, tend to be longer than men's. So when I'm joined at the hip, to put it delicately, with a man my height or shorter, his feet hit my shins. I'm not sure why this doesn't appeal to me, maybe it reminds me of the times when the kids would sleep into bed with us because they were having a bad dream.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Obama's Lipstick on a Pig
Posted: 9/10/2008 10:46:25 AM
How many Puerto Ricans and people of color did you see at the Republican Convention? You really think they have your interests at heart?
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Police target protesters at RNC convention
Posted: 9/3/2008 4:16:06 PM
How much do you really trust the police?

I've owned bolt-cutters and axes and used them for perfectly legitimate reasons. My kids were into slingshots for a while. The buckets of urine thing is kinda weird, but then I've lived without plumbing on occasion and had some buckets...

Back in the sixties some of the worst rabblerousers turned out to be undercover feds.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Police target protesters at RNC convention
Posted: 9/3/2008 3:42:07 PM
Anarchism has a long history and there are many types of anarchism. Some anarchists are pacifists. If you're really interested in learning more about anarchism you could start by looking it up in wikipedia. We tend to think of anarchists as the hotheaded, usually young, people who disrupt events, sometimes with violence, but they're a tiny fringe minority. The anarchists I know are compassionate thinkers who believe that people are capable of working together without a heavy handed government telling them how to think, live, consume, etc.

A lot of it comes down to whether you think people can't be decent unless they have a lot of rules to guide them, or you believe that people will figure it out for themselves if they don't have too much imposed on them.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Easy applesauce recipe?
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:33:02 AM
Wash the apples and cut in half. Put them in a covered glass container with a little unsweetened apple juice or fresh cider. Microwave until soft. Strain through a colander, with holes small enough to stop seeds, but big enough for soft apple pulp to get through.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
It looks like McCain's VP pick is................................
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:10:09 AM
Anthropological research suggests that cultures in which women have "the baby in the field and keep plowing" are cultures in which women have very low social status and power!

I wonder who takes care of her children while she works, and how well they're paid.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
VOTE. It is a privilege you still have!
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:39:54 AM
If more people voted maybe we wouldn't be in the messes we're in! Check out voter turnout entry in Wikipedia http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Voter_turnout

There's a general consensus among people who study voter turnout that the more money you have the more likely you are to vote, and the more education you have the more likely you are to vote. In other words, if you're poor and/or don't have a college degree you're less likely to vote.

Those who have power and wealth want to hold on to it, and one way to make sure of that is to convince (through subtle and not so subtle means) people who don't have those that they shouldn't bother voting.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/19/2008 6:12:01 AM
OK, so maybe it was mean of me to tell the guy I wasn't into men with hugely pregnant bellies, and now I wish I hadn't deleted the email he sent me, but it was one of those "I'm really hot, check me out" kind of notes. I agree with the person above who said that genetics has a lot to do with how "well" we age, and I know I'm lucky, but I also exercise an hour a day and eat well- and a lot.

Appearance includes so many factors, how we carry ourselves, how we move, our facial expressions, attitude. I wrote another guy that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and he somehow had never heard that line and didn't get what I meant.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 145 (view)
 
feeling insecure naked......
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:56:58 PM
Maybe this is why our eyesight deteriorates as we age, so we can't see the insignificant!
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Does Appearance Mean As Much Over 45 As It Did When You Were Young
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:51:30 PM
This one guy sent me an email and when I checked out his profile one of the pictures showed him shirtless with a belly that looked about eight months pregnant. Maybe it was mean of me, but I replied that I wasn't interested in unhealthy men with big guts, and that I have three kids and a flat stomach.

Appearances and health are related. Yes, I know it can be hard to lose weight, especially if you're a woman, but it's unhealthy to carry a lot of extra pounds, and when I do find someone I want to be with for the rest of my life I want them to be health conscious, doing their best.

By the way, if a woman posted a picture of herself showing a huge naked gut, like if she were in a bikini, you can bet most men would find it unappealing.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How about adding politics to search criteria?
Posted: 8/11/2008 5:46:15 AM
I exchanged a couple of emails with someone until I discovered his politics were so far from mine as to make me very uncomfortable. Another guy thought that I was completely insane to live in a racially mixed neighborhood.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
So Much For The Surge
Posted: 8/10/2008 4:33:07 PM
The surge has resulted in an upsurge in Iraqi deaths. We had no business being in Iraq, and no business being in Vietnam. It's time to grow up. Let's learn to resolve our differences without resorting to violence. Thanks to technology we now have the ability to communicate in real time with people all over the world. War is immature and archaic.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Looking at younger women / girls.
Posted: 8/10/2008 8:23:31 AM
I developed fairly young and was quite shapely by the time I was 12. It always really gave me the creeps when grown men would look me over.

I was at a high school football game sitting with a male buddy who kept going on and on about how one of the cheerleaders was the girl of his dreams. He and I were both around 40 at the time. I asked him how he would feel if some old fart was ogling his daughter. He hadn't thought that far ahead, since she was only ten at the time. At half time an old friend of his came up to us and it turned out that the cheerleader in question was that guy's daughter and my buddy had baby-sat her and changed her diapers years before. I don't think my buddy ever looked at a teenaged girl like that again.

Guys, give the poor girls a break, and don't creep them out.
 zabet
Joined: 10/27/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Sensuality in your 50's.....
Posted: 6/3/2008 9:57:49 AM
Another way of looking at this: men do not live as long as women, so women beyond childbearing years who are looking for a long term relationship might want to consider guys who are a few years younger. ..

I think men who only want women younger than themselves have ego issues, a need to feel superior.
 
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