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 Author Thread: Central Arkansas's Best Humor
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Central Arkansas's Best Humor
Posted: 1/16/2009 4:55:47 AM
From a female friend...

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Fine wine.
Posted: 1/16/2009 4:37:36 AM
From a female friend...

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you'd like to have dinner with.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Complete lack of interest when we meet
Posted: 1/14/2009 4:06:38 PM

I am thinking now that I will simply have a cup of coffee and plan for about 15 minutes of chitchat when I meet someone. Is this a good way of telling if someone is a person that would be good to date? Has anyone else experienced what I am describing?
I don't want to get burned out on this and give up so anyhelpful advise would be welcome.


That sounds like a perfect first date. It should be sufficient to determine if there is a need for a second date.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Divorce...ticket to freedom land of happiness?
Posted: 1/10/2009 7:11:13 AM
Happiness comes from within. I learned that from being bitter.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Why is Viagra considered Taboo?
Posted: 1/10/2009 6:38:30 AM
I didn't think it was taboo either. I am out of the loop on the latest bias. Caffeine is still socially acceptable isn't it?
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Would you actually fill one out?
Posted: 1/8/2009 6:03:49 PM
I was always good at taking tests.

I hope the application was multiple choice, those essay questions can be killers.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Has society really changed that much?
Posted: 1/8/2009 5:43:17 PM
These are the good times. If you aren't happy now all I can say is I hope you are in the future. My kids keep me young and give me a positive vibe about today's world. I said something about being square and they looked at me like I was from another planet. We laugh about that stuff all the time.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Has anybody seen my midlife crisis?
Posted: 1/7/2009 3:59:20 AM
Maybe you have to be married to have a midlife crisis. I dunno.

Or maybe we are having one, but there is no spouse to diagnose us.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Ever been asked,Why aren't you married?
Posted: 1/7/2009 3:35:57 AM
Nobody ever asks me why I am not married.

Maybe it is obvious to them. Thanks, now I have to worry about this all day long.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 96 (view)
 
When someone points out that you're old..
Posted: 1/4/2009 7:34:11 AM
These are the best years of my life. I don't mind being called old.

When I was younger, I respected my elders, but couldn't/wouldn't relate to them. How foolish was I?
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Online twist
Posted: 12/31/2008 3:40:11 AM
One unique aspect of online dating is you can check out the competition so to say. How many ladies contact other ladies in their geographic area and compare notes? The shared knowledge of the local dating pool could help eliminate a pitfall or steer two people together who were meant to be.

I tried to contact a local guy to learn from his experience and got the delete/no reply. Just like some of the reactions from the ladies.

So who experiences this side of online dating?
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 476 (view)
 
Men over 45 and facial hair
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:49:53 PM
Facial hair is seasonal for me. Always has been. This is facial hair season.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Online Dating Question
Posted: 12/30/2008 6:40:17 PM
Nothing wrong with window shopping. Just try and avoid those impulse purchases.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 330 (view)
 
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 12/30/2008 4:12:13 AM
Guys don't talk to each other about intimacy like women do, but I would surmise that every man of every age considers pleasing their partner important. People are different and intimate pleasure is experienced differently. Our partners need to know how and why our sensory and emotional stimulus works and nobody knows knows better than we do. We have to communicate what works and what doesn't. If our partners aren't making the grade it may be our fault. Or the erotic zones are so different they are never going to align.

I think most people have figured this out.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Pesuading someone over 45 to do a background check on their SO
Posted: 12/30/2008 3:43:25 AM
[I kicked him out of my home after just three weeks.]

How long did you know him before he moved in?
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 268 (view)
 
Do I ever miss physical touch!
Posted: 12/27/2008 5:37:58 PM
I come from a family of touchers. At Christmas we look like a tribe of monkeys, I am rubbing my mom's neck and my sister is scratching my back, LOL

Obviously intimate touch is different, but something I am comfortable with and desire in a partner.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 175 (view)
 
Single, Over 45 and Starving?
Posted: 12/27/2008 5:20:28 PM
Who needs to cook when you have a microwave?
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 394 (view)
 
Calling all 40-60Something Males?
Posted: 12/27/2008 5:17:42 PM
Rough crowd. The guy died and you gals are laughing hysterically.

Bad karma in here.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Olfder men more nuturing Older women more assertive in relationships
Posted: 12/27/2008 12:49:05 PM
I am a nurturer by nature, but days I just want to be a cave-man.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 293 (view)
 
Is dressing for comfort instead of style and fashion really a crime?
Posted: 12/27/2008 12:44:25 PM
I have always been a 'form follows function' kind of guy. I grow a beard in the winter, because it is practical. Shave it off in the spring, because it becomes impractical. The same with clothes, I dress for the occasion. I own lots of Goretex, wool and polyester fleece, because I spend time outside. I have a few suits for funerals, weddings, and trips to Vegas or romantic dinners. I dress to be comfortable.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 72 (view)
 
why does it suck trying to find someone decent in Arkansas?
Posted: 11/15/2008 2:24:34 AM
It's not just you. The few times I really felt a connection they didn't and visa-versa.

I have met decent women in Arkansas, but the chemistry was just not right for both of us.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Women liking girly men. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/6/2008 4:12:05 AM
Tone down the gun aspect. Women are more at ease with a man who can save his life with his wits. The significance of a concealed handgun license is that you keep it concealed. Don't announce that you are armed at all times. Carry your gun, but keep it hidden, keep it to yourself. Share some of your other interests.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Real women
Posted: 7/25/2008 4:11:16 AM
What do people mean when they say play games? Less than honest? That is the only thing I can think of. Communication is hard. You have to be honest and not have such a thin skin for it to work. Very few people want to hurt another person so they sometimes dance around the truth or maybe they lie a little bit to themselves.

Beyond this I don't know what people call games.
 mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Why do people have to mention they are RICH?
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:30:17 AM
When did being rich become a bad thing?
 mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
My ideal life...single and over 50...
Posted: 6/18/2008 3:25:09 AM
I think this is the best time of my life. Financially secure, the kids turned out great and I still have my health.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Men over 50 wanting children
Posted: 2/22/2008 2:46:59 AM
Where are all the 50 year old guys wanting to have children? I don't think it is an epidemic. It is the exception not the rule. We spend a lot of time trying to figure out the exceptions.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 72 (view)
 
WHAT EVER HAPPENED.... TO THE GOOD OLE DAYS?
Posted: 2/22/2008 2:42:19 AM
Things are still the same for me. I go on a date and call them afterwards to see them again. I am dating now.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 304 (view)
 
Is the USA in danger of becomeing as bad as Nazi Germany *
Posted: 1/30/2008 2:17:01 AM

Making comparisons between the US and the Nazi regime in Germany is outrageous, inciteful & clearly irresponsible.

Clearly. While the conspiracy kooks fear the government, I want the government to protect me from the kooks.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 217 (view)
 
If George W bush is doing so bad why is the economy doing so good?
Posted: 1/30/2008 2:09:58 AM
When is someone going to man up and acknowledge the damage the Writer's Guild strike is doing to our economy?
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
what does being a father mean to you
Posted: 1/30/2008 2:04:08 AM
I did not want to have children when I first married. Three years later I changed my mind. Both of mine were planned and I was into the whole experience. Absolutely the best decision I ever made. You could never have convinced me how special my children would be to my life.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Doesn't it seem we are trying to order our mates like we order dinner?
Posted: 1/28/2008 3:29:41 AM
When was it ever, "just be you and I will be me?"

When I meet people in person I am attracted to some people and turned off from others. I don't have to wear a sign, because I have empirical evidence. Online I need a sign.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Time To Date? How do we get it????
Posted: 1/23/2008 3:13:23 PM
I didn't date much when the kids were in school. Making up for lost time now.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 103 (view)
 
Married ladies that fool around
Posted: 1/23/2008 3:12:30 PM
Married women have as many affairs as married men.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Clinton-Obama vs. McCain-Huckabee
Posted: 1/15/2008 2:44:34 AM

Mike, how the hell is our education system fixed? Huckabee consolidated the school districts that were in counties that he didn't carry and hurt those even more.

Our roads aren't really better either. Arkansas roads are probably in the 7 or 8 worst in the nation. Not looking at polls, thats from personal experience.

The ONLY positive thing about Huckabee is that he understands the 2nd amendment.

Other than that he's a tax and spend liberal with conservative views on guns, abortion, and marriage.



Oh, and to the other poster, Huck wasn't Bills replacement. Jim Guy Tucker was. Another Felon, just like Clinton.


Though a very unpopular decision where I live, the consolidation improved education scores. During Clinton's years the Little Rock School District in Little Rock was under Federal Court Control. The School district is now back in control of of the citizens. Clinton called himself the "Education President." Huckabee is the one who fixed Clinton's mess and actually improved education.

If you think there has not been improvement in the road system you have a very short memory. What about I-40 from Little Rock to Ft. Smith. Remember the buck board like ride it used to be? Have you been to Benton lately? Huckabee gets my vote just for the road improvements.

Tucker was a Clinton crony swept out of office and into jail as a result of the White
Water investigation. He was not in office long enough to effect anything.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Race and Politics - The Ongoing Clinton vs Obama Spat
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:22:50 PM
What Hillary said was exactly true. The media and extremists are always making something out of nothing.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Clinton-Obama vs. McCain-Huckabee
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:15:35 PM
Clinton left Arkansas with a broken education system and a road system that that was dangerous.

Huckabee fixed both.

When Clinton was Governor in order to renew my license plate I had to go the the court house, have my vehicle inspected, and go to the DMV. It took all afternoon. Because of Huckabee I can do it all on the phone in five minutes.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Do you think it was rigged in New Hampshire?
Posted: 1/14/2008 3:01:27 PM
The vote didn't turn out the way the media told us it would!!!

It must be corruption!!!!!

In the freaking media.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Spending cap on campiagns
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:59:52 PM
Sounds like an arguement to limit free speech.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Kerry backing Obama
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:46:13 AM
Crash, I find the most telling item in the story is Ms. Eaton's comment that her computer was 14 years old and had always worked before. LOL

Who uses a 14 year old computer? Was it running on DOS?
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Clinton-Obama vs. McCain-Huckabee
Posted: 1/14/2008 2:37:55 AM

PMS....hello, she's 60 !!!


That is worse. We don't want her deciding foreign policy in the middle of a hot flash.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 291 (view)
 
Is the USA in danger of becomeing as bad as Nazi Germany *
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:54:39 AM
People only read headlines and editorials. They don't bother to check the facts. Jon Stewart has a guest who says the Patriot Act is unconstitutional. Suddenly we are Nazi's.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 161 (view)
 
Best President of all time?
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:46:02 AM
Ronald Reagan.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
President Elect 2008? What A Joke! Tell me if you agree?
Posted: 1/14/2008 1:43:44 AM
Mike Huckabee.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Americans please I beg of you, vote informed
Posted: 1/13/2008 5:58:05 PM
When I try to inform voters some of the folks on this site call me bad names.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Kerry backing Obama
Posted: 1/13/2008 5:56:42 PM
Crash, So the third highest election official, a Democrat, was convicted of tampering with votes. A Republican election staffer was convicted as well.

Not exactly the story we got from the press following the election. Not really an organized attempt at election fraud.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Showing Emotion in a Campaign
Posted: 1/13/2008 5:52:41 PM
I got a laugh out of the following email....

New Packer Quarterback...





In a news conference Deanna Favre announced she will be the starting QB for the Packers this coming Sunday. Deanna asserts that she is qualified to be starting QB because she has experience and spent the past 16 years married to Brett while he played QB for the Packers. During this period of time she became familiar with the definition of a corner blitz, and is now completely comfortable with other terminology of the Packers offense. A survey of Packers fans shows that 50% of those polled supported the move.

Does this sound idiotic and unbelievable to you? Well, Hillary Clinton makes the same claims as to why she is qualified to be President and 50% of democrats polled agreed.

She has never run a City, County, or State.





When told Hillary Clinton has experience because she has 8 years in the white house,****Morris stated "so has the pastry chef".
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Less Taxes, Less Government - what would you give up to get them
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:54:10 PM
I would give up welfare.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Clinton-Obama vs. McCain-Huckabee
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:44:29 PM
Was Kerry smart for snubbing his '04 running mate and endorsing Obama?
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 170 (view)
 
Who would be the best American President in 2008
Posted: 1/10/2008 3:00:25 PM
The number of home owners has jumped by record amounts the past seven years. The lax regulations on housing loans was inadequate. That is why there are record foreclosures. People were able to get into buy now/pay later loans. It is later. Generally the economy is strong.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Clinton-Obama vs. McCain-Huckabee
Posted: 1/10/2008 2:55:19 PM
I vote Huckabee-McCain.
 
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