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 Author Thread: Opinions on those (Women,in the case of who I see) posing with/shooting firearms in their profile?
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Opinions on those (Women,in the case of who I see) posing with/shooting firearms in their profile?
Posted: 5/11/2012 10:29:01 PM
i don't think it's odd at all. my guess is that the reasons that women post gun pictures are as varied as the women themselves. i always imagine that people use pictures that might represent many facets of their life whether hobbies or otherwise.

it may sometimes even be as simple as they get tired of messages that just say hello, so they try to help and give you guys a conversation starter. when i see a guy with a picture where he's jumping out of a plane, i just think he's adventurous. i don't imagine he does it on a regular basis but it makes him interesting to me since it shows that he might be open to other fun stuff.
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Completely naive...should I give up.
Posted: 1/22/2012 9:57:27 PM
i'll try to be gentle since you're new... if you're this bummed out already, this may not be the venue for you. i've been here a while and i'm always fascinated when i see a new profile of a nice looking guy who starts out hopeful and then in the space of a month, has updated his profile to say that women suck and are rude and can't be bothered to respond, etc., etc. then poof, they're gone.

if you're an instant gratification kind of guy, online dating might be rough. i think a lot of people hear stories about how much fun it is, but they don't get that it can be equally frustrating depending on expectations. you've gotten some good advice so i'd say man up, and have fun! if you give up this quickly when something doesn't go as you planned, you just may not be ready to date... good luck to you!
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Chemistry
Posted: 1/21/2012 9:28:00 AM
i dated a guy like you some time ago. he had divorced after 20+ years of marriage - her choice, not his. he was a really nice guy and i actually liked spending time with him but he smothered me ridiculously. we would make plans and he would confirm the plans daily until the date arrived. the day of, he would call so often that i would dread the date. when he would take me to my car, he caused such a scene telling he how afraid he was that he wouldn't see me for a week. it was a bit scary.

when he relaxed, we really had a good time together but i couldn't take the stress of someone liking me that much. i mean, it's just me. needless to say, it didn't last long. i have a real life with teen-aged children and i worked a lot. if a meeting ran over and i had to cancel lunch plans, i was forced to explain that i wasn't blowing him off. i don't know if you had these tendencies, but some women freak when a man has feelings so intense!

our last date, we went to a really nice restaurant. he ended up in tears in said restaurant explaining that he has never had such chemistry with someone since his wife and that was it for me. i kept asking him to calm down, i'm wiping his face asking him to lower his voice, people are staring. i remember praying the floor would swallow me whole. my friends still ask about "the crying man"!

she may very well have enjoyed your company. is it possible that the amazing chemistry was not so mutual and you have frightened her away?
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
can i say that?
Posted: 12/15/2009 12:08:52 AM
i remember a while back hearing about a website called dontdatehimgirl.com. maybe you can try there. they might make you tell your story though! maybe there's an equivalent for guys to rat us out too. try dontdateherdude.com.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 35 (view)
 
My plenty of fish experience
Posted: 12/1/2009 10:52:43 PM
lol, now that's pretty funny. it's good that you can see the humor in the situation. it is what it is and it happens to the best of us! i might be a little biased cause i dig the costanza reference, but i think this will turn out well for you. either way, you live and you learn. i do have to ask though, since when is sex only beneficial for the man? if it was good for you too, go in peace!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 72 (view)
 
pee
Posted: 12/1/2009 10:22:51 PM
fifi, you're right. the little, unassuming, lower case pee is hilarious!

i can't believe i'm the only one who sees how funny this comment is. (geez, one day i'll take the time to see if i actually know how to quote somebody.)
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What would you have done ?
Posted: 5/28/2009 1:58:09 AM
it seems to me that if the problem occurred months after he chose to end the friendship, it would definitely not be his issue to fix especially if he attempted to fix it as a free service to begin with. (yes, even if he did it incorrectly.)

contacting him once and leaving a message seems reasonable if not slightly awkward. contacting his friends and family seems a bit ridiculous.

even one of his brother or friends would do? are you kidding? is he now forever responsible for your well being?

wow! maybe at this late stage in life, it would be prudent to learn about self-sufficiency.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Socializing with people of opposite sex when in a relationship
Posted: 5/28/2009 1:39:37 AM
it would seem that what works in ANY relationship depends on the actual people involved IN the relationship.

when i was younger, i thought it was ridiculous when boyfriends felt the need to maintain past relationships. now that i'm older, i value and understand the importance of true friends.

i maintain relationships with some ex-boyfriends for the same reasons i was attracted in the first place. just because an intimate relationship doesn't work out doesn't mean a person who was once significant should be easily discarded or suddenly has no worth.

my boyfriend maintains relationships with some of his ex girlfriends for what i assume would be the same reasons. i can imagine this works because there is trust and respect involved in the relationship.

if this is an issue in your relationship, then obviously you aren't on the same page and maybe your status should be reconsidered.

lastly, if police are involved, i'm guessing that there must be other issues that require immediate attention and perhaps this relationship just might not be the one!

run, forrest, run!


good luck!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Compliments??
Posted: 11/17/2008 12:04:52 AM
it's interesting to see this question posted, cause i've often wondered what goes through the mind of men who attempt to start conversations with "hey, baby" or "hey, sexy" when i've never seen them before in my life. it never once occurred to me that sometimes they really don't know better.

when i was much younger and perhaps needed to be validated, i did think these were actually compliments and possibly responded accordingly. now that i'm older, to hear this type of approach seems demeaning and makes a man appear rather immature. a greeting such as this speaks volumes to a man's mentality or lack thereof.

quite a few people have answered this nicely, so i hope it is of benefit to you in the future. good luck to you!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
How to tell a girl off nicely
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:58:59 AM
ya know, you didn't mention if alcohol was involved and i mention this because if someone is intoxicated, telling them off may not be a wise thing to do.

it's interesting that you didn't mind that she wanted to 'grind' with you cause you were feeling it at the time. in my experience, when i see grinding in the club, i likely assume that both parties have pretty loose boundaries. there's nothing wrong with that if it is actually consensual. maybe in her condition, she construed your participation as interest.

if you're asking for serious advice, next time i'd simply limit my participation so as not to confuse other parties, but by no means would i embarrass myself by telling someone off nicely or otherwise possibly causing a scene.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Odd dating requests...
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:28:19 AM
^^^^ are you kidding? how can i not ask? please share. i need the laugh. can't sleep.

 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
First Date, Second Chance?
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:22:24 AM
i learned a long time ago that people will treat you the way you ALLOW them to. when people (both male and female) don't know their worth, they put up with things that should be unacceptable.

even without your circumstance, the disrespect should be cause for dismissal. your living situation (God willing) is something that is not likely to end quickly, so you should ask yourself if you're willing to be with someone who will punish you for circumstances beyond your control.

if you don't know your worth, noone else will see it. i'd let it go and be happy this occurred early in the process. someone once told me, "if you're still talking, you're still negotiating!" once i realized he was right, i ceased further communication. point taken!

good luck to you!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Odd dating requests...
Posted: 9/30/2008 5:08:52 AM
i can't imagine why she wanted your undies, but you can bet that if i were single and on a date that i wanted to end quickly, i would steal this practice to make him think i was the crazy one.

if he gave them to me, i would fly into a tirade asking him loudly in public "what kind of man gives me his fricken underwear on a first date? what the hell is wrong with you anyway?"

if he didn't give them to me, i would fly into a tirade asking him loudly in public, "all i wanted was your underwear! what the hell is wrong with you anyway?"

that way he'd disappear on his own, happy to be rid of me! i love it.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Strangest thing you've ever caught yourself saying
Posted: 9/30/2008 4:30:10 AM
this wasn't me, but i thought/still think it was hilarious!

i was getting my hair done recently and sent a male friend to In N Out to get a burger. i asked him to order it 'animal style', which apparently he wasn't familiar with. he laughed and joked about how that sounded all sexual but when i assured him i was serious, he and his male friend left to get burgers.

they were in the middle of a conversation when they pulled up to the drive thru window and he asked the cashier, "can i get a double double doggy style?"

the cashier looked at him flustered and asked, "Sir, do you mean animal style?"

as he apologized profusely, his buddy could do nothing but laugh. whew, still cracks me up!

 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 17 (view)
 
was i wrong in NOT saying before a minor trip that there would still be no sex?
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:49:39 PM
for those versed in the forum process, i do appreciate your input.

to the other forum Gods who probably are not but make comments of no relevance based on a title and assumptions, it's amazing that still you seem to know best as to what warrants thread material.

thank you so kindly for your wisdom in all things. while i can only imagine that it must be wonderful to have that kind of knowledge, please note that your participation in things that hold no interest for you is certainly not mandatory. i do appreciate your brilliance and magnificence. i'm in awe. i'm not worthy.

 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
ladies choice
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:31:12 PM
this online venue is a bit different than what i originally anticipated. i've gotten the same emails cut and pasted from the same guys at different times. my female friends that i later enlisted, have gotten the same exact emails within a given week from the same guys. i think pof may have different rules than were originally in place about the number of times this cut and paste feature can be used within a specific time frame now.

also, don't be easily impressed by women, or men for that matter, on that many favorites lists. i was at one time on over a hundred lists. you can't even view people past 100, and out of all of those, i maybe heard from 5-10 of them. ever! it's quite often a rather insignificant rating system.

i can't imagine how we could ever get valid research to go on with all the things that occur in this online environment. impossible to manipulate all necessary conditions to distinguish the significant factors. i'm guessing it's a big, old, crap shoot for the most part. sometimes, you get lucky. i've seen a lot of stories about people crapping out though! it is what it is and it's definitely not for everybody.
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
was i wrong in NOT saying before a minor trip that there would still be no sex?
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:56:16 PM
^^^^ i know, i know. point taken. i was wrong. i accept my part in this and am not even slightly annoyed that a whole lotta people see him for the victim that he was. (i'm joking!)

i guess it's redundant to reiterate that it was in the beginning that i wasn't attracted to him. i can't be the only one who's attracted to people more as i get to know them, right? people keep saying this and that wasn't my feeling the entire time. that was just my initial reaction.

but no worries. i got it. thanks.

edit: and did i mention we were both seeing other people in the original post? he wasn't so much "building a relationship" while i was bleeding him dry exactly. Still joking.

all bs aside, you guys rock! thank you kindly!
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Guys losing steam?
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:40:21 PM
one more tiny suggestion and this time, i'll apologize in advance for the unsolicited advice. i've been here a little bit and like to think i've learned a little in the process... forgive me if this is an overstep.

this applies to both genders. i'm so not a man basher. not everybody you meet (in this arena, or IRL - in real life), will present their actual self right away. usually in the beginning, we send our representatives. 'said representatives' hang out for a few dates until the real person inside gets a little more comfortable or the mission is accomplished, whatever 'said mission' might be for each person.

you sound as if you are making plans for future involvement based on a rather sudden hello. i don't want to burst any bubbles for you, but maybe you should lower your expectations just a bit. it leads to less disappointment or at least, reserve the "amazing" label for someone you've actually met in person. speaking from experience, sometimes the wrapper is better than the candy.

you've really gotta be careful here. most importantly, be safe! i'll be checking with you, missy! would love to know how this place works out for you.

good luck to you! i hope it works out as you wish.
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
was i wrong in NOT saying before a minor trip that there would still be no sex?
Posted: 9/22/2008 7:15:37 PM
a lot of these responses are really interesting and i appreciate all of your honest input. i know a lot of people can say i was stupid or dishonest to a point and i'll chalk it up. that's fine. i'm a big girl. i knew i'd get blasted here and there.

i don't spend time kicking myself over this incident. it's just that it never fails that when all of my girls and i get together, someone will inevitably mention this incident and it came up recently. that's all. it's referred to as "the time MR. X almost left your ass in vegas!"

i don't expect people to go back and read every comment posted, cause i usually don't when that seems to be tedious. i often skim for simplicity, and will assume a lot of others did so as well and try to explain the points some people have asked.

for the duration of our time together, there were only good night hugs and kisses. i'll say intimate kisses but no groping or fondling anywhere. he was respectful. i'm by no means stupid, nor was i then, and i wasn't so much huffy that he anticipated sex.

surely, fleur, sunny
i felt exactly as you mentioned. it was like an arrogant presumption that we were there so i could pay up. we'd been going out, money was no issue for him, and he insisted on paying. some men actually do that still. i didn't expect it but it worked out that way. i, at this point, can say that we both could have handled this in a more mature fashion. i wasn't exactly the deceitful jezebel to some unsuspecting gentleman.

truth be told, if there had been two beds, chances are i would have ended up in his, but i didn't like the way it was handled. truth be told, if i had told him upfront that there would still be no sex, then the invitation would have possibly been rescinded. i'm aware of these things but it's still great to hear all the differing views. gotta love these forum discussions.

englishlass and a few others were right. we both should have communicated better.

gr8poet,
absolutely loved the limerick!

lostincali,
where does your friend live? lol, hope it wasn't him.

thanks to everybody. much appreciated.
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
was i wrong in NOT saying before a minor trip that there would still be no sex?
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:08:09 PM
vassago,

i'm guessing i wasn't completely clear in my post and omitted things in the attempt to spare a long, drawn out story. i totally understand your point but it's not necessarily accurate to say that i spent his money.

also, it wasn't that i expected him to pay for everything as that, in itself, was an issue for me in the beginning. some people don't place the same value on money as others and some men still don't feel comfortable when women attempt to pick up the check. i wasn't expecting a separate room, but the option of a second bed would have been nice.

when i said i wasn't overly attracted to him originally, i came to like spending time with him for reasons non-related to the financial aspect. he was a really nice guy.

i realize now that i was wrong in that the right thing to do would have been to clarify expectations from the beginning. i don't claim to be totally without accountability at this point and believe me when i say i've made a huge turnaround in my original thoughts on my part in this.
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
was i wrong in NOT saying before a minor trip that there would still be no sex?
Posted: 9/22/2008 12:07:13 PM
ya know, back when this happened, i was adamant that i was right because my point seemed simple enough. i didn't mention sex because i wasn't the one trying to change the relationship. i'm not too big to admit now that the real reason was cause if i had, i wouldn't have got to go to vegas.

the money wasn't an issue. in the beginning when we started dating, i did offer to pay a couple of times, and he would never let me. once i even tried to get the check before he could and he told me, rather seriously, that it was insulting. that didn't happen again.

i wasn't foolish enough to think that he didn't anticipate sex. what offended me, was that it felt like he decided i was obligated to. if there had been two beds when i entered, i swear my outlook would have been different. i really did like him by the time we had gotten to that point.

you guys were actually more gentle than i expected from reading the forums here. i thought i would be brutally bashed. i greatly appreciate your honest input. all of it was good information that i wouldn't have used at 20, but definitely apply now. my friends would not have been happy to have to pick me up in vegas with no notice!

thank you kindly.

limey & superserial : you're pretty funny. ;-)

edit: justme, i mentioned it here because i was telling somebody the story recently, and she totally agreed with me and my 'back then stance' and i thought it was funny. i just wanted to hear the differing opinions. no guilty conscience. it was a long time ago. i'm sure we're both over it at this point.

i said 'minor trip' simply cause vegas is not so far from where i live and it was only a weekend. nothing major for me.
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
was i wrong in NOT saying before a minor trip that there would still be no sex?
Posted: 9/22/2008 10:37:42 AM
i'll try to keep this brief but would like to hear honest opinions, rather negative or otherwise. this happened many years ago, but i still get a lot of heat about my participation in this miscommunication. please bear with me...

when i was in my early 20s, i dated an older gentleman who owned a restaurant. my friend had gotten me a job in her medical office and his place was local. my first day at work, we went to his place for lunch. he gave me free food and drinks from the beginning. not a big deal. i thought he was being nice because i was new. soon, when my co-workers and i would order lunch to be delivered, he suddenly started delivering the meals himself as opposed to his delivery guys.

to keep it short, due largely to his persistence, we started going out. we were both single and adults. not the issue. i wasn't overly attracted to him but he really was a nice guy. really smart, spoke different languages, and generally fun to hang out with.

fast forward to four months later, still we went out approx once a week, but we both dated other people and were upfront about it. no sex was involved between us. he decided we should take a weekend road trip to vegas and stop in laughlin to take out his jet skis on the way back. this sounded like a cool trip to me so, i agreed. it gets a little tricky. laughed and talked all the way there. super casual.

we get to the hotel really late so go immediately to our room where surprise, there's one bed. maybe i was naive, but this actually threw me for a loop. i didn't say anything. we dropped off our bags, freshened up and we headed down to dinner, a nice steakhouse in the hotel. nothing out of the norm. we gamble a few hours, (yes, his money), and finally head back to the room.

while preparing for bed, i wrapped my hair with my normal pins and scarf, and he says "you're going to stick me with those." i finish and lay still on 'my side' of the bed. i reply, "am i sticking you now?" "no." "then you'll be fine cause this is my side and that's your side. i went to sleep.

we wake up the next morning and i can tell he's pissed. he's really quiet and no longer wants to stay in vegas or take the jet skis out in laughlin. fine. now i'm really quiet and pissed cause i'm offended that he expected that just because we change location, i'm suddenly expected to have sex.

on the way home, he tells me that i was lucky that i was out with a guy as nice as him because some men would have left me there. i respond with, "i have really good friends that would come and get me from the end of the world and if you ever leave me anywhere, i would suggest you not show up for work that following monday!" long, long ride home.

conversation is minimal. long drive but he changes his mind and we take the jet skis out and he seems okay. didn't stay in laughlin as originally planned which was fine with me. i was fine going home without making the jet ski outing.

needless to say, we went out maybe once or twice after this trip. my question is this...

if we had NOT been having sex up until that point, was i wrong for not mentioning beforehand that we wouldn't be having sex there either? or was he wrong for not telling me that he expected that things should change because of this change in venue? my friends have been split in their opinions, (dumb & my fault vs. arrogant & his fault) but really opinionated one way or another.

what do you think?
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Guys losing steam?
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:26:27 AM
please don't misinterpret what i'm saying. i think the pictures are beautiful but the quantity is in question. how many pictures are required to display your art? i understand that you're proud of being a model, and you should be, but do you model in actual professional or casual clothing at all or do you strictly model lingerie?

i notice here that a lot of people ask for honest opinions but get defensive almost immediately if people don't respond in the way they anticipated. this is not meant to be either judgmental or disrespectful. that's not why i (and probably not the majority of posters) participate in the forums. i'm just suggesting that the way you present yourself here, as IRL (in real life), still constitutes a first impression.

if you were happy with the response you'd been receiving, the question wouldn't be an issue, would it? just a thought.
 ~~~PlayNice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Guys losing steam?
Posted: 9/22/2008 8:58:14 AM
please don't take this the wrong way cause it's really not meant to be offensive. it may have to do a little with your presentation. you sound as if you want to be taken seriously, but based on a majority of your pictures, if i were a man, i'd be expecting a half-naked, suggestive, "open minded" chick to show up. if i were interested in a serious relationship, i would stick to more "conservative" looking women.

you're gorgeous! when referring to girls half dressed in clubs or bars, i used to tell guys that "only ugly chicks have to put their ass out to get attention." i know people probably will not care much for that comment and i admit it's rude. i don't say this to be mean and if this is your personal style, so be it. just my honest opinion.

this is analagous to a golddigger meeting someone claiming to be a millionaire with a profile boasting about generosity and shopping sprees, then meeting a man (or woman) who suggests they go dutch when the actual date occurs or picks up the date in a dilapidated old pinto.

hope this helps! good luck to you.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Am i important to him?
Posted: 9/4/2008 1:29:34 AM
not to be rude but in all honesty, maybe you're not. that's not a bad thing. it's only been three weeks. some guys do still like the chase. hey, some girls like that part too! it may not even be about that.

it probably just hasn't been enough time to get so serious so fast for him. you say he's older... with age often comes maturity. no need to sit on the phone all day and be in constant contact. what's the rush? i myself would feel smothered to death if after three weeks, a guy was calling every day. just give him some time. confidence is a lot sexier than insecurity. especially so soon.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
I have a boyfriend, but i am attracted to someone i work with!?
Posted: 9/4/2008 12:53:37 AM
i'm a little surprised that most of the posts i read seem to imply that your relationship is in danger because you are attracted to someone you work with. you and guy X do the same type of work so naturally, you might have some other interests in common. sometimes when you work closely with someone, your mind wanders. i've met many people in my lifetime that i've been attracted to but it doesn't mean that sex was always inevitable or that it always occurred.

i get a feeling that people think that only men are faced with temptation on a regular basis. women are sexual by nature too. society has just conditioned most of us to behave a certain way and to feel guilty if our thoughts aren't always aligned with 'proper' behavior. i am in a relationship as well but my eyes weren't blinded, nice cologne still affects me, and some guys are still fricken hot.

my babe is awesome and out of respect, i would never cheat and i didn't get any automatic inference that you would either. however, also out of respect, there would be no sexual undertones because i wouldn't appreciate it if the shoe was on the other foot. if anything, you may need to revise the boundaries you have in place, but other than that, i don't see anything you've done wrong that you can't change to keep your relationship intact.

good luck with that.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Should I stay with him?
Posted: 9/3/2008 4:07:55 AM
the instance you mention is a different situation. the complaint that he does not understand your financial situation is a different complaint than he doesn't want to be financially responsible for you.

it seems to me that if you are both in love, and your relationship is indeed strong, you would be able to discuss this with the only person who can give you the answers that you need. 5 months is not very long. that doesn't mean that your feelings aren't valid. love doesn't have a time frame.

it does mean that real day to day issues might start to come into play, and now is a good time to talk about them to see if you're on the same page. if incidents such as the vegas trip are frequent, then i would question his motive. if it is an isolated event, i suggest you chalk it up, and stand your ground. if you can't afford it, and he isn't willing to sponsor the trip, by no means should you go.

maybe this was an oversight on his part. it could possibly be intentional to extricate himself from a less than desirable situation.

when i was less mature, and i wanted to remove myself from a relationship, i would simply and subtly do things that i knew the guys considered deal breakers. i've grown up since then and am more comfortable being honest when i am not happy. hopefully, his level of maturity is past that, as well.

i do hope it works out as you wish.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Should I stay with him?
Posted: 9/3/2008 3:18:54 AM
[He simply does not want to be responsible for me financially. And I feel like he does not love me because of that. I don’t know what to do.]

i don't see what was taken out of proportion. why is it you know what the OP meant? i read the same things that you did. the purpose of the forums, in my understanding, is to get different points of view on a matter. that's what this is.

the subject line seems as if this is something she is contemplating leaving him over. because HE won't be financially responsible for HER. nowhere did i say that they shouldn't both be supportive of one another, whether financially or otherwise.

does that mean that her way of thinking sets the precedent for what keeps the whole family as happy and comfortable as possible?
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Should I stay with him?
Posted: 9/3/2008 2:29:32 AM
and yeah, what she said. ^^^^^
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Should I stay with him?
Posted: 9/3/2008 2:25:04 AM
maybe it's just me but it seems a bit outdated that a man's money should be 'ours' but mine should just be 'mine'! this poor guy is getting a bad rap already. i don't think it's unfair that he expects that a person with whom he is contemplating a serious relationship might be a team player as well.

maybe you were raised in a family where a man providing complete support is the norm and there's nothing wrong with that if it's a mutual understanding beforehand. i personally, can't imagine demanding something that i couldn't deliver.

if your home business was to suddenly become prosperous, would you still be expecting that he finance everything, while your money remains yours?

this sounds like a serious issue that he may be thinking about as well. he may just as well come to the conclusion that you don't love him because you aren't willing to put in 'equal' effort to make the relationship work.

good luck. i hope it works out for you.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
What Would You Do?
Posted: 9/2/2008 11:07:34 PM
to me, it's irrelevant what his sexual preference is. the point is someone you consider your best friend doesn't respect you enough to avoid soliciting sex or other type of encounters in your presence, sleeping or otherwise.

you know that he lies to you constantly, has had sex with another person during your relationship, and lied to you originally and repeatedly about the whole thing in an obvious effort to continue.

as much as it hurts now, it won't get better with time. it's exhausting being a stalker or a snoop. trust me, i know.

if it looks like a duck, talks like a duck, and walks like a duck, sorry hon, it's a fricken duck! let it go.

good luck to you.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Trying to figure this guy out...
Posted: 9/2/2008 10:44:30 PM
while i don't get that you're 'high maintenance' from your profile, the first little snippet from your profile about you getting so many messages may have left a sour note with baldy and you wouldn't believe how prominent first impressions can be. (sorry, not speaking for you baldy!)

that being said, i wouldn't totally dismiss what he said as being angry because he is speaking from a man's point of view which might be helpful to your situation.

it could be that the fish in question does take his work seriously (which i would definitely respect) and was trying to be upfront with you. i personally, would admire someone who felt it important to keep a commitment to his father, for pretty much the same reason that baldy pointed out. take it to mean that if you get to the point that you're together, his word will actually be enough.

while i wouldn't assume right away he was married, i would take it slowly and back off a bit to see what happens. i myself have a tendency to back away when i find that i like someone a bit more than i'm comfortable with early on due to bad experiences. so either he likes you a LOT and would rather pace himself or he has lost interest. online dating isn't always a great experience! only he knows at this time what his reasons are. you've already sent the email so relax long enough to hear his response.

good luck to you!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
please review
Posted: 8/23/2008 11:15:04 PM
i personally think it's pretty good now but i'm only one person. hopefully some other pof reviewers will help you!

good luck to you.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is my profile too ambiguous?
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:11:45 PM
i think it must be better based on the clips i see from other posters, but as usual i'm late to the party. you have a great smile but i was put off from the first paragraph. i don't call 'those people' impulsive. i call them flaky liars. lol (sorry) but definitely not a desired trait in a prospective partner.

you seem like a really cool guy and i'm guessing you're pretty new to this. most people here are out for the same reason so don't be afraid to put yourself out there. your best effort will probably get your best results. hey, i just made that up. lol - patent pending.

good luck!

oh yeah, and i think you wanted to say 'engaged' in thought or something to that effect'. minor typo, i know.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I am puzzled! Please review my profile and HELP!
Posted: 8/22/2008 9:42:30 PM
i'm guessing you've gotten some pretty good advice cause i think your profile is pretty good. even though it was succinct, i got a feel for the type of person you are. your picture looks a little stiff and unclear, but with a few better ones, i think you might do just fine.

you appear to be fairly attractive so i can't imagine that that's the issue. i'd add a few pictures, keep the ranting and raving to a minimum (ok, none. NONE at all), and be patient! don't rush. if it's meant to be, it'll happen.

good luck.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
please review
Posted: 8/22/2008 9:31:50 PM
ok... i can't imagine there aren't at least some specific traits or attributes that you don't prefer in a woman. reading it now, i have no idea what type of woman you are looking for.

if you say that nothing needs to be taken seriously, that seems like you are all about fun. if a woman has any depth at all, she is going to want somebody who can be serious when the need arises. i don't want somebody to feel like he always has to be 'ON' and sometimes things ARE serious or difficult. if you're looking for HER, she'd probably like to know that she could still spend time with you if one of you were having a really bad day or if there were real issues she wanted to talk about.

and i do hope you are open to contacting HER if you think you see her around. don't just wait for those ladies to click. some of us still like to feel we're being pursued. how else do we know you're really interested and not just polite in the beginning?

;-)
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Am I too direct?
Posted: 8/22/2008 9:21:43 PM
a few things since you asked...

i honestly don't mean to be ignorant or offensive in regards to your religion but your headline immediately made me think of witches and weirdness. i apologize if i just don't understand it, but if it really is a huge part of who you are, i do agree that you should list it early in your profile. i can imagine it may be important to potential prospects as well but you may be limiting yourself early on with that line.

as i read on, i felt like i was reading a long drawn out interview. since your picture doesn't make you look very approachable, i would suggest adding more, maybe a smile, full body shot, and you in different settings. while i got nice little tidbits of your personality in what you said, the references to sex, caressing and touch were a bit offputting.

you have some good things spliced in, but altogether, it just didn't seem to go over very well. hope this helps a little.

good luck to you!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Am I doing this right?
Posted: 8/22/2008 9:03:19 PM
love the 'have you ever...' picture. i happen to be a big fan of the lists. yours is however a bit difficult to read due only to the lack of spaces between thoughts but very interesting nonetheless.

i think a few ladies might be a bit turned off with the main picture simply because of the dangling cigarette and although the art is awesome, i'd either limit those or include more pictures where your face is clear or in different settings. i always look for full body shots. don't think women don't check that out. ;-)

while i do think the way you treat your children is awesome , i think the fact that it's sprinkled throughout is a bit much before i even meet you. it makes me wonder if you would have real time to spend with me. (not me, necessarily, but you know what i mean.)

you sound like a really cool guy! hope it works out for you.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Any suggestions would help
Posted: 8/22/2008 5:51:44 PM
funny story... i looked at your username and headline and looked at the main picture and i'll be dam*ed if i didn't have to look twice to make sure you weren't touching yourself. that first picture does not work well considering.

your actually profile info was pretty good but i got a couple of red flags. if you spend your nights chatting online, it would make me think that i'd just be one of many - unacceptable! also, casual encounter could suggest many things. the first one that comes to mind isn't one i would pursue.

you're off to a pretty good start. nothing major seems to be wrong but i hope you aren't relying only on women to contact you. if you message her first and she returns, you can rest assured of the mutual attraction factor.

good luck to you.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
I would Go for me!! (profile review) =)
Posted: 8/22/2008 5:40:54 PM
i agree with navigator. please don't change a thing! lol
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
And how do I add up?
Posted: 8/22/2008 5:33:24 PM
i think your writing is excellent! i agree with changing the main pic but i thought your profile was great. it's refreshing to read something that stands out from the rest.

good luck to you!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
please review
Posted: 8/22/2008 5:13:00 PM
i didn't see your original profile but from what i see now, you may have a few issues. first as far as pictures go, the first one is really bad just because of the lighting. i'd remove the picture with the gift because the background is rather depressing. not sure where you were but it just is not very flattering with the blinds and surroundings.

also, i read a lot that women here get a lot more emails than men do so if you are absolutely insistent on not pursuing anyone, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment.

minor typos in your profile ==>(expectations), but you're off to a good start. i like how it starts but as i read on, it got a mellow negative vibe to it. good luck to you and i hope you change your mind about not reaching out to ladies you might be interested in. i can imagine you'll have better results that way!

edit - i mean your profile had a few issues. not you. lol and yes, i know you're already aware of the pictures issue.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Please Review
Posted: 8/22/2008 5:03:35 PM
i think you're adorable! i love that your pictures show your personality. you might try a solo picture for your default though. the picture with the guy and the boobs might actually be the factor with the guys who want the one nighters though. i have quite a bunch of rock star pictures from my nights out with friends, but i wouldn't dare post them. i think it's pretty harmless but sometimes when guys see boobs, they lose it!

good luck to you!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I'd appreciate a review. Someone help me out?
Posted: 8/9/2008 3:20:18 PM
i think your profile is great. i like the picture in the blue t-shirt where you're smiling better but that's just my preference. you're adorable. i wouldn't be surprised if they're clicking that button to message you in no time.

good luck!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
You're profile isn't broken ... it's just sleeping.
Posted: 8/9/2008 3:14:28 PM
you're right. your profile rocks!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
please review me
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:51:38 AM
easiest ever... you got nothing! i'm sorry to say that it starts out poorly and finishes worst. the first two sentences are all things we can get from your stats which leaves us 2 sentences to work with. now we're at likes and dislikes. unless your likes and dislikes are one in the same, i missed the boat here. also, the sentence is poorly worded. proofreading will work wonders.

your profile tells nothing concrete about you or the type of girl you're looking for. i'd add more pictures also. some with better lighting and at least one full body shot.

hope this helps!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Please review my thread
Posted: 8/9/2008 1:22:04 AM
wow! she was gentle. i left that first paragraph thinking this guy has issues! i felt reprimanded and would have clicked off thinking good riddance if not for this review deal. the whole vibe is wrong but then you surprise me and turn out to sound like a really cool guy immediately after that paragraph is done. go figure.

the guy with baggage did rear his ugly head again in the last paragraph with the sugar daddy talk among other things. (i really gotta learn how to use the blocks for quotes).

i gotta tell you, i really have a love/hate relationship with that last artsy looking picture of yours. while at first i thought it was a little scary, i noticed i couldn't turn away and then it was really cool. so, i think i like it. no, take it down!wait, let me look again. i think i really love it!

good luck to you!
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Rate the Omega
Posted: 8/9/2008 12:13:09 AM
i really wanted to send you a private message. my God, love. please lighten up or remove your profile until you can get yourself together. i swear, it's physically draining. why are you here if all roads leading with you are black? don't zap the soul of any lovelies here who just might be interested in spending some time with you. i know this place is for pseudo-psychologists, and while i don't currently use it, i do actually have a degree in psychology and social behavior. you scare me. please, seriously, this one time, i really hope that this is only for attention because if not, i can't imagine people closer to you haven't tried to get real help for you.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Alot of views but no msgs or replys.... ?
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:59:55 PM
i actually like the format. i'm beginning to think that there is some die hard unspoken rule that all profiles must be in a 3 paragraph format to be considered successful.

i don't understand it. if you're comfortable with your format, please don't change it. no disrespect to fellow helpful reviewers, but a large majority of us are also single and just trying to help. every single personality does not have to be summed up in paragraph format to solicit a response! i promise.

so sorry for the vent!

if you are happy with your style, please by all means, keep it! as someone who reads profiles for the hell of it, i can't tell you how refreshing it is to see a different style sometimes.

i wouldn't start all of them with i am, or i do... i'd do it much like you did the HER portion

example:
WHO I AM
-rock and roll
-a fun loving guy

i hope this helps you! good luck.
 ~~~playnice~~~
Joined: 10/29/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
New at this and need profile recommendations...
Posted: 8/8/2008 11:19:17 PM
i think your first line says it all. your profile is also 'fairly simple'. i'm not a man looking to date, but if i were, i would forget most of what you said by the time i looked at your pictures again.

i laughed when i saw the feet. my first POF message was from a guy who told me that he could possibly be interested in a relationship long term with me but he first wanted to be honest about his severe obsession with feet.

i think the pictures are fine, although a solo body shot might be better. keep the feet at your own risk! they're pretty feet. hell, be bold and use that as your default picture! lol

you may do well to add some descriptive examples of who you are. anything to make it more interesting would probably work wonders.

good luck to you!
 
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