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 Author Thread: You know you are getting OLD when...
 PamiOakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 29 (view)
 
You know you are getting OLD when...
Posted: 4/6/2018 8:24:55 PM
2012. I'm done.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 58 (view)
 
Dating and Medical Issues
Posted: 10/12/2014 2:55:14 PM
Medical issues are a tough nut to crack, I think. I struggle with when to tell someone I had gastric bypass surgery and lost 130 pounds. I worry about a first dinner date when I eat so much less than they do and HAVE met men who worried about it. I also get concerned that the guy is going to think I have tons of extra skin and whether or not he expects perfection. That aside, I met a man a few years ago who was more worried about the fact that I took thyroid meds! Add to that, I am a smoker.

What's interesting to me is that my ex died at 49 years old of a heart attack. He was in "perfect health" - never drank, never smoked, exercised regularly. An extremely physically active man. That I outlived him is still a puzzle to me.

It's been awhile since I've had a POF meet because I really haven't spent alot of time paying attention to it these days. However, I would absolutely reveal any deal breakers BEFORE a meet.

Good luck to you.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 22 (view)
 
What does this mean?
Posted: 2/27/2014 7:09:10 PM
I'm not sure it means either. It could simply be that she values your friendship and doesn't want to risk losing it if a more serious relationship doesn't work out.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 23 (view)
 
The much sought after emotion...Love
Posted: 11/1/2013 8:56:32 PM

Three times in my life (we're the same age) where I know I would have walked through fire for the woman.
The remarkable thing about love is that it provides us tremendous hope and we will tirelessly seek it.
One saying I had heard went something like, "Love is the triumph of hope over experience." or something similar.


Eric... You are always very profound.

I have also been in love 3 times. I have to be honest and tell anyone I didn't know I was in love, but *I* knew. I figure if it happens again, I'll know again.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Funny flashback; would you have said this?
Posted: 11/1/2013 8:48:34 PM
I dated a very wonderful man for 6 months and then broke up with him. It was about 5 years ago. Loved everything about his personality but I simply wasn't turned on physically. Hence we were not sexually involved. I often think about him because we had so much in common and our kids accepted each of us. I miss his friendship but that would never have been enough. No one else had caught my fancy and no one has now. He DID say when we broke up that he'd finally got it... the attraction issue. He didn't ask if there was anyone else - I think he knew I'd been spending all my time with him.

These are the situations I think suck the most.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 10 (view)
 
testing the waters
Posted: 10/28/2013 7:40:28 PM

Why would you or anyone ignore a good greeting and compliments but will respond to something negative?


Having no idea what you consider a positive, good greeting, I have no idea why you are not getting responses to them. The negative responses? You simply pissed them off.

I'd like to know the point of your experiment? Like someone else said, I like confident men. Not a man that is using me as a guinea pig!
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 41 (view)
 
starting over
Posted: 10/23/2013 7:02:49 PM
My first piece of advice to you is to be very clear about what you are looking for. I haven't looked at your profile, but if you are separated and not divorced yet, make that clear. You can change your profile later. Also, keep in mind that for the first year after divorce, especially after a long marriage, women may be hesitant to date you. A lot of people, myself included, have a one-year rule. I have the rule because I know without a doubt that I was a crazy person the first year after my divorce even though I didn't recognize it at the time. My advice to you is learn to live alone, and above all, learn to like your own company. Until you have once again discovered the things you truly are interested in and what your new priorities are, don't embark upon a serious relationship. Give yourself time to heal and know who you are again.

Pam
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 41 (view)
 
falling out of love?
Posted: 10/20/2013 3:38:22 PM

With the flick of a switch all that was - is over


After being with my first husband for 23 years (17 of which we were married), it was a bit like that for me. A flick of a switch. When you find out an affair has been carried on for 15 of those 17 years, it is difficult to swallow, let alone forgive or work through together. I was done and divorced him. Our friends were shocked, some cried and shared that they thought "we" were the perfect couple. Evidently, we were not.

It was coming undone for him for many years. For me it happened in a flash.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Over age 45 do we tend to be able to hide our negatives for longer?
Posted: 10/15/2013 6:55:38 PM
Many years ago, I was a foster parent (and then adoptive parent). One of the things we were taught was that it takes 3 months to get out of the honeymoon stage. My daughter has told me that over and over and over... until you've dated for 3 months or more, they don't let down their hair, take off their sunglasses so to speak and relax. That's when you really meet the person you are involving yourself with. The shine has come off, so to speak, and the truth comes out! It takes time to known the nuances of another person. 3-4 months of dating shows those things to you. Those things may be negative or POSITIVE! That's exactly what the experience is all about. I don't think it is a show. I am NOT going to give you every little detail about my life on date 1 or 2, and you might not have even seen me angry after 3 or 4 months, and you might not have seen me over the top happy either! Life experiences take us all places that cause us to respond in certain ways. It is about getting to know someone. That's all.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Can you really stay friends with an ex?
Posted: 10/10/2013 7:11:42 PM
I don't think there is an easy answer to that. I remained friends with several men I've dated and I value their opinions to this day. Perhaps it was the dating experience with them that pointed us in the direction of friendship. I'll never be friends with my last b/f, however. I lost respect for him during our relationship and respect is necessary in friendship IMHO. Sometimes, when it is over it is over is absolutely true. Other times, when it is over a better thing can happen.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Best cheap date you have!!!
Posted: 10/7/2013 6:26:26 PM
Without a doubt, a walk around a local park that borders Long Island Sound. I wouldn't say I'm a cheap date because it sounds so ugly, but it's the simple things that make me happy. The walk was my suggestion. We did progress to a late afternoon****ail before he went home. All in all, one of my best dates.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Abundance and self-reliance
Posted: 10/7/2013 6:20:00 PM
Your question seems a bit vague.

I'm not quite sure how you are defining abundance. Abundance of love, friendship, goodwill?

As far as extreme self-reliance... Simply, put I am extremely self-reliant because I am the only person in my household supporting myself financially. I am the only person who can change a light bulb, wash the windows, take the dog for a walk, buy groceries and cook the groceries bought, change the sheets and take out the trash among the many other things we do to take care of our lives. I don't see how that possibly crosses over to a spiritual realm, and I am a person who has spent many years meditating.

I agree to being open to grace, you must relax and trust... I have my own personal affirmation that I read every morning when starting my day. Included in that affirmation is the word "trust".

How I approach all of the above is always dependent upon the individuals I meet while living my life. I feel an abundance of love from my friends, family and co-workers - those that know me personally. I don't feel an abundance of anything when it comes to a new relationship until it becomes a relationship. A relationship doesn't make me less or more self-reliant! I still have bills to pay and life issues to deal with daily.

Relaxing and trusting is self-taught I think and not related to the above.

Just my humble opinion.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 32 (view)
 
If an individual is a hoarder, can they romantically attach to someone?
Posted: 10/7/2013 6:03:39 PM
I've never been involved with a hoarder, but my brother is married to one. They've been together for over 50 years. While their house doesn't resemble the series because you can walk through it, there is stuff ALL over the place and walkways through the rooms. I know their home embarrasses them. On a few occasions, his wife has purged (when our mother died and the family was going to gather there after the funeral and when their daughter married and his wife needed to impress the inlaws for showers and such). He never wants me to visit... if I do, we sit on his front porch or get together elsewhere. At one point, he talked about renting an apartment so that he could have a neat space of his own. I guess the answer is yes, someone can. But there is pain for them along the way.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Do I end a toxic relationship even though we still love each other?
Posted: 10/3/2013 7:14:23 PM

thats a tactic she has used before to make me jealous


I have to admit that I only breezed through your message, but when I saw this I stopped. People in love don't use tactics. If you feel she is doing so, there IS no relationship. It's a game. Stop beating the dog.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Dates from hell? Lets hear them!
Posted: 9/26/2013 6:19:59 PM
I have had some less than happy dates, but only one real date from hell. That was the only date in my life that I actually exited when he went to the men's room. We met at a local pub where we could play pool, darts, have a drink and food was served. It was a Saturday afternoon. I did not meet him on POF. The minute we met, his eyes lit up and and he began to talk about how wonderful I was, how happy he was to meet met (so far so good), and that accelerated within 20 minutes to our future together. When we'd get engaged, move in together, etc. The waitress at the pub was close by and listening in on the conversation (I didn't realize that at the time). We played a game of darts and went back to the bar. I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable and it must have showed. He needed to use the men's room and left to do so. She approached me just as I looked at her and said I'll cover you. Get out of here NOW. I ran. Seriously. I ran out of the bar, jumped in my car and took off for home. It wasn't just a bad date, it was a scary date. Anyone that obsessed that quickly is creepy.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Witty Banter
Posted: 9/24/2013 7:30:31 PM
I love banter; in fact, I think the more easily it comes in an e-mail, the more likely we are to be compatible. When communication is stilted or forced, responding to someone becomes a chore. This is supposed to be fun, right?
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Not making a good first impression?
Posted: 9/24/2013 7:23:26 PM

Then he has the nerve to message me again apologising profusely for being such a jerk but he will make it up to me. What the hell!!!! Couldn't believe he even thought I would go out with him after that.


I had that experience also. I was puzzled when I went home from the meet because he seemed rushed. I had an email waiting from him when I returned home saying he wasn't interested. The next morning he had changed his mind. Are you kidding me? It was the shortest meet I'd ever been on! Which beckons that question... I haven't been recontacted by anyone I've met already but I haven't met that many men from POF. Perhaps I need to move one floor up too and see what's going on in MY profile!
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
what would make you deviate from your 'type' ?
Posted: 9/14/2013 8:58:28 PM
A sense of humor. I agree with you, Cinammon, that this site is full of all of the above. But I'm betting the guys will say that this site is full of woman who want to take long walks on the beach. I think I know what I'm looking for, but I'm willing to be open minded. Who knows who might surprise you. If any of us could absolutely say what the factor was that would turn our heads, this would be oh so easy.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 39 (view)
 
I'm not much for writing about myself....
Posted: 9/6/2013 9:11:40 PM

1) we men get blasted here whenever we send pics to you ladies of our naughty regions
2) trashed when we send you pics of our bodies, or "ab pics"
3) trashed when we don't write a book report type intro message to you
4) Cant be "looking for a: booty call/to get in your pants/blah blah blah", or we must "move along"
5) We also must have the amount of $$$ we make yearly(apparently?)
5) Cant be a "nice/good/solid/real man" in our profiles, or else we're labeled "pussies/whiners/or not interesting"


I don't want a picture of your naughty regions, I don't want a pic of your abs. I'd really kind of like to see a message that, while isn't a book report, is an honest attempt to say "Hello, I'd let to get to know you better because..."

I'm not interested in a booty call so yes, move along. Never said a darned thing about how much $$$$ you should make - are you insecure about your income? Heck, I'm not rich either!

I like seeing nice/good/solid/real man in a profile, and none of the above indicate that.

If someone wants to chat me up, so to speak, TALK to me. "Hi" is what you would say to me in a bar or at a bus stop or in the aisle of the grocery store we both shop at every day.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 37 (view)
 
I'm not much for writing about myself....
Posted: 9/6/2013 6:41:15 PM
I pass them by. I also pass by men who send me an email saying "hi." Seriously?
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Wearing Jeans on a First Date
Posted: 9/6/2013 6:37:58 PM
I think you are being far too critical. What is worn to a first meet is completely dependent on where that meet is. I'm not going to wear a skirt and heels to a diner, so why should he wear slacks or Khakis? If you are going to have dinner together in an upscale restaurant, perhaps you have a right to those expectations, but most meets are casual. I can't even remember a place I've had a first meet where jeans wouldn't have been appropriate and acceptable - oh wait, I just told a fib. I did have a first meet at a diner on my lunch hour at work. I was dressed for the office and he had just gotten off his Harley. We are still friends even though there wasn't a dating chemistry.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 22 (view)
 
loneliness question? Single for too long is not good?
Posted: 9/3/2013 7:19:19 PM
I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to your question. I was involved in one relationship or another until 2003 (more than one marriage). Since that time, I've dated many men and thought at one point I might marry again. It didn't work out. I don't think it didn't work out because he or I had been single too long - it didn't work out because we had problems that the two of us could not or would not reconcile together. I'm not unhappy being single MOST of the time. I have a great job, great long-term friends and a wonderful relationship with my kids and family. There are times, of course, that loneliness creeps in. To be honest, until you asked the question, I hadn't asked it of myself. Truth be told, I don't want to be alone the rest of my life. I hope I'm not so set in my ways that it prevents a relationship from developing!
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 45 (view)
 
gracious response to a 'no' on the second date invitation
Posted: 9/3/2013 5:39:46 PM

*If* I asked someone last minute, I would tell them that something fell through and I'm free this evening and I know it's hellaciously short notice and I don't expect her to be free, but I really enjoyed our date and thought I might call on the off chance that she was available this evening.

Oh? You aren't free tonight? I didn't expect you to be and apologize for the short notice, but being a single parent I have to take advantage of the opportunities I get and I enjoyed our time. What works better for dinner next week, a weekday or a weekend night?

You have to show that you're not taking them for granted.


There are not that many single fathers out there that are pushing 60 and want to date me, but I have to tell you that if you asked me out at the last minute saying exactly what you said above? If I were free, I'd accept. Bravo.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 40 (view)
 
gracious response to a 'no' on the second date invitation
Posted: 9/2/2013 2:52:28 PM
I think your response was great. I actually applaud you for asking her out spontaneously. When I was first divorced (10 years ago), a good friend of mine who is male gave me this advice - "If a man does not reserve your time by Weds for the upcoming weekend, say no because you are his second choice." Do I think he was right? There have been men I've met who I would absolutely have to agree with my friend about. Others, not so much.

Text her tomorrow to nail down an actual date. If she makes another excuse, let it go. Good luck!
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 92 (view)
 
OP is happily remaining in her CURRENT 1BR
Posted: 8/31/2013 6:52:44 PM
Hey everyone... thank you. I made the decision to stay where I am. I really do love my apartment. It may be a work in progress but it expresses me. My pup is happy here and I love the community I live in. Decision made. Is there a way to close out the discussion?
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 88 (view)
 
OP is happily remaining in her CURRENT 1BR
Posted: 8/29/2013 8:06:25 PM
Many years ago, blacklady, I was married and living in a 900 sf home on a half acre of land. My friends always told me it was decorated like a doll house. It WAS cute. My apartment really isn't much smaller. I'm happy. You appear to be happy. How much better can it be?
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Children from previous relationship
Posted: 8/28/2013 5:09:18 PM

Let's see if i have this right... If your daughter (who is receiving child support) and her live in boyfriend decided to go on vacation, then the baby's father's girlfriend is responsible to care for the child.


No where in my statement did I say my daughter receives child support. She doesn't. In almost 9 years, she hasn't taken a single vacation. I don't hold the girlfriend of the child's father accountable for raising his child, but if she is going to be a part of that child's life, it would behoove her to figure out that the kid is #1 and her needs #2. That's how it is when you are a parent (or step-parent).
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 158 (view)
 
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 8/27/2013 6:31:14 PM

He had no "femininity" or cross dressing tendancies.


Um... if he wore your panties, yes he had crossdressing tendancies. I can't speak to his violence but I can tell you that I was immersed in the "genre" for several year. You'd be very surprised at the macho men you know that like to wear woman's clothing.

There are ALOT of books on the subject - trust me, I read many of them. I also interacted in the community frequently. As a result, there isn't a man I meet that I don't wonder about. I am always looking for signs. When you know what they are, it's easy.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 83 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/27/2013 6:22:22 PM
Thank you, Eric.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/26/2013 6:46:49 PM

I was under the impression you needed to save money and were thinking about switching in your apartment complex to a smaller unit to do so, even though you really like your 1 bedroom apartment.


Yup you are right, I need to save money and probably should switch to a smaller unit to do so. Decided against it because I would rather stay where I am and pinch pennies for awhile longer than move, after weighing the pros and cons.

I really learned a lot from the responses given here which was the point of asking the question, so I don't think it is moot.

Why would this cause you to go back to staying out of the forums?
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 79 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/26/2013 6:21:11 PM

It is very unwise to ignore the "most important".
People who do, end up in what I call Stupid Debt.


Fortunately, I have no debt other than my car loan. I also agree with you regarding the things that are important. I can pay my rent/utilities/bills, and I love my apartment community. I was considering a move within it, but have decided against it.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Children from previous relationship
Posted: 8/26/2013 6:17:08 PM

Wow, she brings 'her kid' over to be with his father and you don't like it. By the way, how do you think other parents take care of their children when they have a broken leg and no one to do things for them? Under no circumstances should you be around this child or be watching him, he deserves much better than a bitter daddy's girlfriend. Don't marry this man, he has a child you can't stand, that's abusive to the child. Do not inflict all your jealousy and insecurity on this innocent child.


I agree 100%. My daughter is a single mom who absolutely busts her butt to raise her child. She called upon his father to watch him for many different reasons. IF the two of them were still together, the "baby daddy" would be there full time and be fully expected to take care of him.

You need to end the relationship if you cannot come to terms with the fact that the child existed in his life before you did. That child is HIS responsibility as much as the mom's. What will you do if the day comes that custody is changed? I am very thankful that for all the things I disagree about with my grandchild's father, he has always put his son's needs before any girlfriend's.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 147 (view)
 
Finding your partner wearing your underwear!!
Posted: 8/26/2013 6:11:06 PM

One day I came home to see him wearing my underwear.


You were seeing a crossdresser. You say it was some years ago. Why is the question coming up now? I discovered the same about my ex, and did not leave. We were together for 10 years and split up for reasons completely unrelated to his affection for women's clothing. I was more pissed that he took half my wardrope out west with him when he left than I was about what he did behind clothes doors - which affected our life together in only minor ways (blinds down and doors locked).
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 77 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/26/2013 5:56:38 PM

I never said this poster that lives in a trailer is trailer trash.


I don't live in a trailer, just in case I am the poster you are referring to. I did say, however, that the part of the country I live in does view those that live in trailers as trailer trash, but that when I lived out west it was a completely different story. It's a prejudice I was, fortunately, able to unlearn.


I think the OP should move where ever she is comfortable. Get what fits your lifestyle and wallet. And if a guy can't come over for coffee without automatically thinking " whoopee, a bed, she wants sex now" is juvenile and not worth her time.


While you are absolutely correct and I ^5 you for that comment, I have decided to stay put.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 76 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/26/2013 5:50:52 PM
Darned typo! LOL
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/26/2013 5:50:17 PM

Perhaps she should approach the management company that runs the apartment complex.
For sake of numbers, let's say a studio costs $1000/month and a one-bedroom costs $1250/month.
It might be in their best interest to keep her there at a reduced $1100/month price.[/quote

Funny that you brought that up. I work for the owner of the building. I already get a wonderful discount. And you are correct, I love my current apartment. After considering all the pros and cons, I've decided to stay in it. The numbers have worked for several years albeit tightly. I can hang on awhile longer (car will be paid off soon).

I really appreciate all the comments. One of the most meaningful to me was the fact that if I did invite a man home, I would be inviting him into my bedroom. I actually hadn't thought of that. Not that I have the opportunity to invite many men home!

Now... after all the instructions I received regarding quotes... let's hope I got it right!
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 99 (view)
 
Victim of a Mid Life Crisis, How do you recover from it???
Posted: 8/22/2013 2:48:58 PM
How long have you been living apart? Are you divorced? If you are, then my question would be "what difference does it make what his motives are?" If you aren't divorced, then you need to determine whether or not you want him back (though I could not imagine why) and either go for it, or let the relationship go. I, too, had a very long marriage but when it was over, it was over. After that many years there is usually ALOT of water under the bridge - a flood of things that cannot be undone or unsaid. I'm not sure, but it sounds to me like you feel he didn't appreciate the material things you were able to provide for the two of you and are flabbergasted that he would be interested in someone with little to offer.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Walkouts. What to do? Have they happened to you?
Posted: 8/21/2013 7:11:13 PM
I had a date several years ago that I walked out on. Yup, I admit it - I did it. He went to the men's room, and I left the bar. He scared the shit out of me. 10 minutes into our date he was talking about our "impending engagement" and how crazy he was about me. This was our first meet and it was before I'd ever heard of POF. I was EXTREMELY uncomfortable with his 'vibe' so to speak and I trusted my gut and left. To be honest with you all, I didn't care a single bit about the tab, about his feelings or about anything else other than getting out of there (it felt to me like 'with my life').

Since that date, I've had many, many other first meets that have gone well and not so well. Looking back and remembering how I felt that particular day, I would do the same again. I haven't looked at your profile, OP, so I can't comment on your looks or your needs. I would say, however, check yourself. I suspect it has more to do with how you presented yourself on the date than anything else.

My 2 cents.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/21/2013 2:39:27 PM
Thank you, 3ffervescent!
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/21/2013 2:39:04 PM
OMG I'm LOL about some of the responses but... Molly you are awesome!

I'm not going to defend my position as I've already laid it out there. I'm very confident that I can make a studio a real home and one I would not be concerned about friends visiting. As far as the types attracted, unless I'm wearing a banner that says I live in a studio apartment, how exactly would they know upfront? There are wonderful people out there from all walks of life. Their occupations tell little about the kind of person that they are or their intelligence level. I grew up in a blue collar family and was previously married to a doctor. I'll take my family over him and his former colleagues any day (he has since passed away).

Again, thanks everyone for your thoughts!
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/20/2013 6:39:56 PM
One of these days I'll figure out how to quote some one!!!! LOL :
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/20/2013 6:39:23 PM
{/quote This question is one very similar that women have about the height of the men they are dating.......for some it is important and for others, not so much!]

I disagree. I have no issue with men that are 5'7" or less as long as they state that in their profile. My experience has been that anyone who says they are 5'8" (I'm short myself) is shorter than I am.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/20/2013 6:30:53 PM
[/at the same time, i'm pretty sure most men have many, many more opinions about what you look like]

Obviously true! LOL
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/20/2013 6:22:50 PM
[My own place is part of what is holding me back right now, for similar concerns, mainly because it does NOT represent ME yet.]

I'd like to think that anywhere I live will represent me - even the things I'm ready to part with represent me. At the same time, I want this smaller space to speak even louder about who I am. Hopefully, IF I ever meet a man who is seriously interested, he will see that it is "just right" too.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/20/2013 6:19:58 PM
[When you do find someone, at least you'll know they are not a golddigger and really love you for you. Money can't buy you love.]

Smiles... Thank you, but no one that IS a golddigger would ever consider an administrative assistant.
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/20/2013 6:17:05 PM
Thank you everyone for the responses. I'm actually beginning to feel a bit of a challenge to decorate my new space in such a way that it is inviting. I work in the construction department for a property management company and so... I've measured and graphed and placed my furniture on paper. I hate clutter. Right now I have an 855 sf one bedroom and it is pretty much always neat. I'll get rid of what I need to get rid of so that my new space is equally neat. Moving forward!!!!
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Apartment Downsizing and Dating
Posted: 8/19/2013 7:05:58 PM
I did a search and only found a few threads on the subject. I've pretty much made the decision to downsize from a 1 bedroom apartment that I love to a studio in the same apartment community. Obviously, the goal is to save money. At the same time, I feel like there might be a stigma... similar to the stigma I overcame moving from northeast to west (in the northeast living in a trailer equated you to trailer trash; in the west, very commonplace). I have to admit I'm excited about the prospect of making a studio comfortable and not cramped. As much as I hate to admit it, though, I wonder how dates will perceive it. Thoughts?
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Have you ever dated a nympho?
Posted: 8/9/2013 4:37:17 PM
I've only read a few other responses, most of which were from men. I'm answering you from the other side of the coin (female). I was with a needy man for a year. Sexually needy translated into emotionally needy. I have to tell you, I've never had an issue with sex - always loved it. But when I started feeling like a blow up doll, and he started pouting about not getting it daily, I wasn't happy. I'll quote him "if I can't make love to the woman I love who is supposed to love me in return, WHEN I want, I feel unloved and rejected." I advised him to get counseling and we are no longer together. So that said, is she a nympho or is she trying to fill up some space inside of herself that cannot ever be filled? Next question, can we introduce them? :)
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Is she confused?
Posted: 8/9/2013 4:25:48 PM
You met a woman who had been divorced a year, and had an 8 month relationship afterwards. That leaves only 4 months out of 12 that she had to recover, so to speak, from her divorce. I've been divorced 10 years. When I think back to that first year, all I can say is that I was in what I call the "divorce crazies" and not really in an emotional place to honestly enter into any kind of relationship. She does need time. LOTS of time. Question is, do you want to put aside however much time it takes for her to be truly ready for another relationship?
 pamioakley
Joined: 5/26/2013
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How can I start to trust women again?
Posted: 8/8/2013 7:06:59 PM
"Most women can't be trusted."

Seriously? This is your response to the question? I'm appalled.
 
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