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 Author Thread: Guys Have You Contemplated or Had a Vastectomey
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 46 (view)
Guys Have You Contemplated or Had a Vastectomey
Posted: 10/23/2008 8:40:43 PM
I'm kind of annoyed by some of the replies calling the OP "sneaky" for not being up front with information that really isn't that huge a deal. It's a reversible procedure and frankly nobody else's business if you aren't planning on spending a good deal of time with the woman. If you're planning on proposing, let her know, if she sincerely has a problem with you not having told her before then you're probably better off without her anyway. As far as I'm concerned, you're taking the right approach not bringing unwanted children into the world.

However, I can't see a reason not to tell her if the subject of children come up in general, simply because it doesn't seem like all that big a deal at all. You don't want kids right now, you're making it as certain as you can (between a vasectomy, the pill which is pretty common nowadays, and a condom, you're pretty much guaranteeing that the only kid you have will be frickin Jesus Christ himself) by having an invasive procedure done on your most sensitive of body parts. There's no shame in that, no reason to be afraid or nothing to demand your secrecy about. It's just happened.

Finally, any woman who'd not date you because of your choice to protect yourself just isn't worth it. Sorry ladies, that's just how it is. Worst comes to worst you meet someone who changes your mind and you have it reversed. Whoop-dee-doo. It's far from a super dramatic thing.
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
anyone with kids resent the fact of guys/girls wanting to come back to yours on second date?
Posted: 9/1/2008 8:28:17 PM
As a former child of a single parent I can say from my own personal experience that I didn't and don't want to meet anyone my mother's seeing until he puts a ring on her finger. I might be an extreme case but I'm so tired of meeting guys, having them as part of my life for 6 months, and then having them bounce because she can be a nutjob sometimes, especially if I liked em. I know I'm supposed to support my family as much as they support me, but it's not just hard for the person going through the relationships and their problems, it's hard for all those involved. But as far as I'm concerned you did what you thought was best and should be proud that you were able to stick to your guns.
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 36 (view)
Too good-looking?
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:50:38 AM
I don't go after women I think are out of my league, I'm just terrified of it. It could be the crazy in me, but I just can't do it. Like most people here though I wouldn't turn down a beautiful woman if she came up to me.

I believe, honestly, that I have an award winning personality, but the fact of the matter remains that when they see my picture and the "Few Extra Pounds" or whatever it is up there (yeah, few extra pounds my ass) they're going to make a decision. Maybe it's just American ideals but I can't for the life of me believe miss 130 lb gymnast is into the 250 lb computer guy. So I don't pursue it and while I said I wouldn't turn her down I'd be awfully suspicious.

Kudos to you dudes with more confidence, really. I'm more envious than you can imagine.
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
How much does her income matter?
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:39:42 AM
What's hers is hers and what's mine is mine until we move in together, so I have to assume that until that point she'll be able to take care of herself, and that's all I ask. I'm old fashioned in the regard that I think marriage is forever and that everything earned in a household goes to the household, so what we make is irrelevant as 2 people, it's all about the whole.

Financial responsibility is the most important thing, and personally I'm terrible with finances, I think I'd need to be with someone who could keep me in line more than anything else.
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
Okay to date while Pregnant???
Posted: 7/22/2008 12:31:27 AM
You're absolutely right, the guy shouldn't get to date before he's having a kid with another woman. I don't think it's right for a woman to date while pregnant, hell I don't think any single parent pulling down less than six figures should date until their youngest is at least 5. But this is a big problem with my upbringing more than anything else, which just goes to show that sure, you'll find someone who has no problems at all seeing you while you're getting bloated and moody. It really depends on the person, if there are women out there that want to date a man who's going to have a kid with another woman soon, then all the more power to the man, despite the fact that he's a scumbag. Same situation with the woman.

None of this is even scratching the surface of what it's doing to a child. I know I'm not a minority out there anymore, those of us who were young when our parents split and ended up in a far poorer, less loving household will tell ya it ain't fun. Think of the kid first and foremost, not yourself.

Course this is just my opinion and there are plenty other experiences that prove I'm not 100% right, but the way I'd deal with the situation, for sure.
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
Why do guys do this???
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:51:09 AM
He's a douche. Tell his current girlfriend about it and get rid of anything that involves him in your life. If you still have any desire to be with a man who'd do this to one girl than you deserve whatever you get. Hope it works out for you, but you're asking for trouble as far as I'm concerned.
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
what is with everyone being bi-sexual?
Posted: 5/19/2008 1:11:23 AM
I'm turned off by bisexuality in women, don't really know why. Having sex with 2 women is a fantasy of mine, for sure, but I guess it's just the thought of them having more fun with each other than me that bothers me a bit. Insecurity, thy name is Noobity. Now, this isn't a deal breaker by any stretch of the imagination. I'm usually willing to give a bisexual woman a chance in a relationship (there's been a couple, not many), it's not a be all end all by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sure everyone's had relationships where they were turned off a bit by something their partner did either sexually or nonsexually. There's give and take everywhere.

Now, as far as bisexuality being "80%" of the population, I've gotta ask what you're talking about precisely. Are bisexuals people who've ever fantasized about members of both sexes? People who can tell the difference between attractive members of both sexes? I mean, depending on how you look at sure, 80% of the population is bisexual. If by bisexual you're counting men who've had dreams (nightmares) about sex with another man and woken up with a boner. Or women who've found themselves lightheaded and horny dancing with other women at the club. But this isn't bisexuality. The human body reacts the way it reacts without rational thought, and sexual labeling relies upon rational thought to be anything of value. I'll be the first to admit that I've had sex dreams about attractive men, I've been turned on by the sexuality of gay sex scenes on television and in movies. I don't, however, have any desire to kiss another man, to stick my penis in his mouth or booty, or to have my mouth or booty penetrated by a man. Bisexuality relies on a desire, not willingness, to be sexually intimate with members of both sexes.

Now everyone's going to have different views on definitions of bisexuality, but this is the predominant reason you have people confused as to what many of these percentages mean. I'm all down for you loving who you want to love, and as many people as you'd like to love at once, so keep on keepin' on as far as I'm concerned.

I'd also like to point out that since I've started checking out dating sites, I've found an interestingly high amount of bisexual females. This is just an observation, but a very high minority of people who've matched me or I've been interested in have been bisexual. It's interesting to say the least.
Joined: 11/5/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
Do we have to f*ck???
Posted: 5/19/2008 12:30:05 AM
This is a topic that a lot of people have a lot of different opinions about, of course, so while the odds may be against you finding this kind of relationship, it has to be conceivable (haha, conceive, I made a funny!). I've disagreed with a lot of what was said here, from those defending sexual intimacy, to those attacking it as a societal phenomenon, but really it's all going to come down to whether or not the person you meet has the same strong desire to see you that you have to see them and who's willing to do without sex. I'm not going to say it's easy, there's the social stigmata placed on relationships that almost certainly screams "Screwing is the norm". Does this mean it's necessary? nah. One of the posters before me was one hundred percent correct in pointing out relationships where sex isn't possible due to injury. While those are more forced instances, I doubt the people without the disabilities, going without sexual intimacy for their partners would have a problem if they met someone like you, going without by choice.

I'd have to suggest similar to one of the posters before me, suggesting you look elsewhere for love (I'm not entirely sure why I used elsewhere, I can't find another word to use, honestly). Alternative lifestyle sites or meetings in your town would probably have a place for you. I'm not sure if PoF does but if nothing else, keeping a disclaimer or a couple phrases on your profile itself would certainly keep those without your points of view from bugging you, or being... Shanghai'd after the relationship starts.

I can't say I'd personally be able to do it. In a relationship I need someone who wants to pounce on me 3 to 4 days after work, and would enjoy more sensual love making 2 or 3 days of the other 3 or 4. This isn't because society tells me I should want it, it's because my little guy has a strong desire to go spelunking, and my body tells me it feels good. I need a sexual relationship to have a romantic relationship. They work fine for a month or 2 seperately, but afterwards they need to be combined for me to enjoy the relationship. Other people feel differently and I can respect that, and I can respect that there's someone out there for you. So do we have to f*ck? no, we don't, but for me; I couldn't do without.

Good luck finding your special someone, OP!
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