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 Author Thread: 20 dates no spark :-s
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 13 (view)
 
20 dates no spark :-s
Posted: 10/4/2013 3:56:37 AM
Hi englewood82! It sounds like you are in a bit of a hurry to meet someone........ I know I am generalising here but this is how I see it - spark + hurry = romantic love which will probably only last about 2 years........ M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Do I end a toxic relationship even though we still love each other?
Posted: 9/24/2013 3:35:25 AM
Hi derrdic3! It sounds to me like you are totally drained and confused about this type of relationship that you have subjected yourself too.... I believe this is her pattern of relating to another in a relationship ie leaving the person drained and confused...... It wont stop with you.... another fellow will also experience what you have just experienced. She also appears to come from the all or nothing OR, black or white approach whilst being in a relationship. Next time try to date someone who is into shades of grey (compromise and negotiation). Also, may I suggest that you take time out for yourself, rest, relax and concentrate on what is important to you at this time ie career etc. Let the universe take care of the rest including her............ I hope this helps....... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Should I try to reach out to him?
Posted: 9/14/2013 4:30:43 PM
Hi madametouss! Sounds like the 'honeymoon phase' ended a long time ago. From your post, I read some really good qualities about you. You seem to be optimistic and, you like to be validated whilst being in a relationship. You also possess good reflection on what has just occurred. This is a good time for you to learn how you can improve yourself for the next time. May I suggest to possibly identify what you value most in a relationship and stick by your values when meeting potential partners........ I hope this helps... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What's the best approach method
Posted: 9/14/2013 4:02:42 PM
Hi HabsFan69! Just be yourself. M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Shallow/Unfair?
Posted: 9/12/2013 3:46:39 AM
Hi endsdawn! I do not think you are shallow. If you are not into individuals who are considered overweight... then so be it. Also, try to be a little more kind to yourself and try to think and speak more about your positive qualities not your perceived negatives........ I hope this helps! M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Recently sober
Posted: 9/11/2013 4:16:19 AM
Hi murpkcco! Well done to decide to quit drinking!!! What sort of activities are you into so you can meet others to date? M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 15 (view)
 
A girl said I sound sad.
Posted: 9/4/2013 4:08:48 AM
Hi doublju! Who is to say that she was having a sad moment and projected it all onto you via the phone? If I spoke with someone on the phone and they said to me 'you sound sad', I would respond with 'gee, are you having a down moment?. You would be surprise what the response would be............. M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Meeting Cougars
Posted: 9/4/2013 3:53:25 AM
Hi dannydingo! I am curious about your definition of the word 'Cougar'....... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
social anxiety worse than 15 years ago
Posted: 9/2/2013 3:28:17 AM
Hi sunnydayass! Have you thought about seeking professional advice on this? Sounds like you may be slightly moving towards symptoms agoraphobia.... not good there... I hope this helps! M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Attraction and shame
Posted: 8/28/2013 4:41:30 AM
Hi UKtraveller89! If you are interested, may I suggest that you take a look at this self help book, it may assist you to 'speed up the process' -

https://www.google.com.au/?gws_rd=cr#fp=cf0e2683a7e8b4f4&q=reinventing+your+life&tbm=shop (Re-inventing Your Life written by Jeffrey E Young)

Also, if you decide to read the book, and you become 'overwhelmed' with what you read, it may be beneficial for you to seek professional advice as Motown Cowgirl suggested. I hope this helps.. M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 26 (view)
 
relationship question
Posted: 8/28/2013 4:24:39 AM
Hi tammara3298! Have you discussed with him how you feel the relationship has been going for you? It does take two to make a relationship work..... M
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Empty Nest Syndrome
Posted: 8/28/2013 4:05:25 AM
Thank you Igor most appreciated! It is strange how in the past, I have written a lot of posts to assist others however, I am a little lost to assist myself at the moment.... Thankyou all again, most appreciated...
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Feeling a bit worried about breaking up.
Posted: 8/27/2013 3:26:46 AM
Hi HoleySmokes! It may be beneficial at this time to speak with a professional to discuss your options in order to keep yourself safe....... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Im Not attracted to good girls, Why???
Posted: 8/27/2013 3:24:43 AM
Hi premed10! So what you are saying is that you prefer a female that may be not so stable, spontaneous and just wants to live an unpredictable life as opposed to a female who is stable, reliable and would make a great partner for life? I know I am possibly generalising here, however..... the choice is yours! M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Empty Nest Syndrome
Posted: 8/27/2013 3:00:42 AM
Hello all again! Thankyou all so much for your suggestions and opinions, I will definately consider all of them! xo M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Empty Nest Syndrome
Posted: 8/26/2013 3:37:13 AM
Hi all. I am currently going through the 'empty nest syndrome' and am at a slight loss of what to do with the next phase of my life. My career is going well however, I presently feel like I did before I had my daughter plus an extra 17 years on from that time...... Does anyone have any suggestions on how to rebuild a single life without a child who once required dependence? Your opinions/experiences/advice would be greatly appreciated. M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 51 (view)
 
2 alcoholics in a relationship.... what happens?
Posted: 8/16/2013 3:12:25 AM
Hi Silken Fire! I think you have answered your own question with all that you have stated in your first paragraph....M
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Sloppy Seconds: Acceptable or no? For older daters.
Posted: 8/7/2013 4:36:44 AM
Hi TheUrbanMan! I would consider your statement with a slight change of a word "Or does a mature man forget about it and work it out with ANOTHER woman.... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 16 (view)
 
How to feel better??
Posted: 8/1/2013 3:18:16 AM
Hi OOxx! It will take some time to heal from what you have just experienced. Here are a few suggestions that may work for you.... Try and keep yourself active by doing things that you missed out on doing while you were with your ex or, think about the things you got involved in and you enjoyed prior to meeting your ex and then go and do them. Reflect everyday on the positive experiences you have had during the day whilst presently being on your own. This coping strategy may assist you to build your self awareness in order to help you realise that you can function well independently. Also talking on a crisis/counselling telephone line when feeling down may also assist you with the the grief and loss process and may get things moving along for you. I really hope this helps and good luck in the future...... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Getting Back Out There
Posted: 7/30/2013 3:44:13 AM
Great insight Andyman0707! Don't worry about what everyone thinks on here.... just go with what you want to do and if you feel you are ready to date again then go for it. Good for you for staying positive as I also agree it is the only way to live. Life is way too short to allow past negative experiences to rule your present life..... good luck! M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
a girls intention
Posted: 7/30/2013 3:35:08 AM
Hi littleking82! It would be more beneficial for you to ask her what her intention is as opposed to asking others on this site who have not experienced what you have with her.... Just be direct with her.... ask her!.... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Is there potential or am I filling a void?
Posted: 7/28/2013 3:51:15 AM
Hi Langloisj! Just wondering if you like this person enough to take it to the next level, if you do.... just communicate to her how you are feeling..... it places you in a state of vulnerability however, in the long run it may or may not be worth it.... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 38 (view)
 
adult breast feeding relationships
Posted: 7/13/2013 5:03:54 PM
Hi shouldabeenblonde! I have never experienced that however it is possible that she may be experiencing some form of oral fixation (Freud)? M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 33 (view)
 
[H]Women who are addicts/traumatic pasts are attracted to me..
Posted: 6/29/2013 11:20:06 PM
Hi Spore2012! The statement in your post that really stood out for me was ...........

"The women are usually involved in drugs/drinking often (may or may not be addicted). I drink fairly often but I am pretty sure I do not have the addiction gene (or at least it hasn't activated yet) as I have little to no consequences from drinking (or drugs I have tried in the past)."

Question: Drinking - Is this a common activity that you have done in the past with your previous partners?
Question: Drinking fairly often - was this considered a common activity that was done in the past with your previous girlfriends?

If you have answered yes to both questions, may I suggest it may be more beneficial for you to possibly reduce your alcohol intake and engage in activities (sporting) that may give you a more natural high. Engaging in other activities without alcohol use, may also provide opportunities for you to meet healthy women with similar interests.

I hope this helps!! M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What should I do now?
Posted: 6/29/2013 10:45:09 PM
Hi CelesteCatherine! In response to the title of your thread... "What should I do now?" my response... move on... M.
 Melannie1
Joined: 6/8/2013
Msg: 49 (view)
 
stay or not to stay?
Posted: 6/29/2013 12:15:24 AM
Hi Oceanmaster66! I think you know the answer...... M.
 
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