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 Author Thread: The Myth of Los Angeles
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
The Myth of Los Angeles
Posted: 10/9/2008 10:04:48 PM
I moved to California 2 1/2 years ago from Nebraska. I've wanted to move here for over 10 years but love and relationships kept me in Nebraska for most of my life. I finally found my freedom and came to California looking to find my creative side. Plus get away from the cold Nebraska winters. I wanted to live near the ocean but ended up in the Inland Empire/Rancho Cucamonga area. It's absolutely beautiful there. The first sales job I found was in Rancho C. I changed jobs and asked to be transfered to the Glendale area about a year later. I commuted from Rancho C to Glendale for 3 months (104 miles round trip). I found an apartment in the Hollywood area with everything I wanted. A pool, secured off street parking, ground floor apartment and they accept pets. The deposits were very low and rent is of course much higher than Nebraska. But a home is where you choose to make no matter what the cost.

As far as homeownership goes, it was a total pain in the @$$ in Nebraska. Even though, houses cost a 1/3 or maybe 1/4 of what they cost in LA, I hated forking out money every time something broken down. Maybe it's a girl or woman thing. I'd rather live in an apartment and have maintenance fix things (for free!). Plus you never really "own" a house. Unless you pay cash or pay off the mortagae. The bank owns it and you're renting from them...

If your dreams are to own a house, its really a great time to buy right now (if the banks have money to lend). You can drive up north or east of here and find a really beautiful home for 1/2 off of what it was 2 years ago.

I make the same money here as I would in Nebraska. What brings me to LA from the Nebraska...the ocean, mountains, weather, quirky, creative people, things to do and see, tales to tell and hear, music, Vegas hours away...the list goes on and on...is truly what brought me here and I plan on staying here for the rest of my life. I don't need to own a house or live in one to be happy.
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Anyone tried the Brady Bunch approach to dating? (mixing children from two families)
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:07:46 AM
Most of HER problems and not being able to take an upper hand with her daughter is GUILT. Anyone who has been through a divorce and had to put their children through it do feel guilty. But she needs to be told and realize that she isn't doing herself nor her daughter any favors. Tough love, being a parent and having rules and guidance will gain her respect and love from her daughter. I took care of other people's children in my home for years (in home child care) I was very strict and had a lot of rules to keep order in the house. All of the children I took care of loved me. And even years later their parents would call me and tell me how much their child still talked about going to my house and loving it. I was strict with my own sons and they grew up to be very productive young men. Neither of them got into trouble. And they don't HATE me for it. Really, they don't!!! I am not saying I am the perfect parent but when you put your foot down and show the child who the parent is it makes life so much easier. This woman's daughter is going to be a raging "*itch" whether her mother bends over backwards or takes an upper hand. Why not just be the parent, put the daughter in her place and everyone can learn and grow. What she is going to realize over and over, is that no man will tolerate her parenting for long. She will date but her relationships will go by the wayside because of her daughter. Her daughter is unhappy for whatever reason and she is bringing the mother down with her and the mother is allowing her to. They need some family counseling...
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Anyone tried the Brady Bunch approach to dating? (mixing children from two families)
Posted: 9/18/2008 10:38:58 AM
Oh yeah, one more thing. The daughter's behavior and actions are the result of the mother. I would never allow my sons to behave that way. And I can tell that you haven't allowed your children. As you know, you children will always come first above any relationship. As will her children. If she allows her daughter to "rule the roost" and continue to allow her behavior. It WILL affect your relationship, as you see already. You cannot tell someone else how to raise their children. It is probably the most "touchy" subject in a relationship.

I have dated quite a few men with children. It amazes me how many men in California raise their children ALONE!! Different values here than in Nebraska!! I try not to get involved with the children at all. Since I am not looking for anything long term. If I was looking for long term, it would probably be months or maybe even years before I would get involved. There is nothing worse than children falling in love with the boyfriend or girlfriend of their parent and then the relationship not working out. Most than one heart broken....
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Anyone tried the Brady Bunch approach to dating? (mixing children from two families)
Posted: 9/18/2008 10:29:21 AM
I was in an eight year relationship. He had 3 daughters and I have 2 sons. The two oldest daughters were my son's age (all teens in the beginning) and the youngest daughter was almost 5 years younger than my youngest son (she was 10). The kids would all be cordial to each other. He moved in with me about 9 months after we met. I had my youngest son living with me at the time and he had his two oldest daughters at the time. I was working about 75 hours a week in my new business so I wasn't around a lot. The kids just sort of all stayed in their own rooms. I never realized this problem until my boyfriend told me 4 months later that he was moving out. It bothered him more than the kids. I guess he wanted this "perfect" environment. I think he was getting "cold feet". He moved out which broke my heart but we continued to date. Both families would get together during the holidays. We would all play games and hang out. The kids never got to be close friends. Though, his oldest daughter was friends with my nephew. They went to the same high school and worked at the same place (quite a coincidence). They all grew up and then he and I broke up after dating for 8 years and being engaged for the last of three years of the relationship. He and I lived together again when we got engaged. His youngest lived with her Mother and the rest were all grown and gone at that time.

I would never force kids to be together. Just as we choose who we love or who we are friends with, you can't force them to be this tight knit little family. They must choose on their own. You can always do activities that everyone enjoys. And at that point hope for the best. As far as your girlfriend's daughter goes. You will have to have nerves of steel. My ex boyfriend's youngest was the same way. She would throw these temper tantrums. It only gets worse. Thank God she lived with her Mother. I just had to tolerate a lot when she would stay with us. It was horrible when she was a teenager. I always said, God knew what he was doing when he gave me sons. I would never be able to tolerate a daughter and their attitudes.

Good luck!
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
How much of your dating comes from the internet?
Posted: 5/30/2008 10:44:58 PM
I have placed some ads recently on C-list for women friends. And it has worked out really nice. I am new to the area and I find the internet to be a very helpful tool in meeting different types of people, male and female for dating and friendship. It a good way to cut to the chase on likes, dislikes and compatibility.
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How much of your dating comes from the internet?
Posted: 5/28/2008 7:32:29 PM
I've been dating on the internet for about 3 1/2 years. I rarely get ask out on a date in public places or through friends. Don't have a clue why. But the internet dating sites are an easy way to get to know someone and their likes and dislikes, compatibilities to you and if you just get a good vibe from them. Most guys look better in person though I have found some that don't. But that is few and far between. I feel you can sort of get to know someone's "soul" better online. That is if they aren't lying and pretending to be someone else. I have found that if someone is pretty much "for real" they will want to meet and not drag on the whole im-ing and emailing back and forth for too long. If they are just lying and playing around, they stall and stall to meet. Those men appear to be married, in a relationship or not moved on from a relationship and just playing or seeing what's out there.

I would have to say I date 98% of the time, at the moment, from internet dating sites. I really enjoy dating and meeting new people. And I enjoy being single...
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Judging me by the shoes I'm wearing???
Posted: 5/12/2008 8:15:27 PM
I use to sell women's shoes. I love shoes and have a closet full. It would be a male foot or shoe fetishes dream come true. lol. I have one question...why do women in California wear boots in the spring and summer? It is so stupid looking. Those "ugg" boots are hideous with skirts in the spring and summer. I am originally from Nebraska and boots are worn in the fall and winter when its COLD!!! It's is just plain hilarious to look at how people dress out here!! I know, I know, you're going to tell me it is some sort of ugly fashion statement......
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Independant Woman - she is driving me into insanity...
Posted: 5/11/2008 9:56:05 PM
You need to leave her for awhile and let her show you what she means by being independent. Reality is...she isn't independent if she has a child. You are just making it too easy for her to just get a way from her responsibilities. You are being an enabler. She probably is codependent on you right now and if you do leave she will fall apart and put a guilt trip on you.

You have two choices. One is to stay the way you are right now, tolerate it and never whine or bring it up again...that is YOUR choice. Or you put the reins back in her hands as far as her child and her responsibilities. My heart goes out to the child. Not you two at all. You are both using each other just in different ways. Unfortunately there is a child involved. I think you both are going to screw up this child when its all said and done....
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Judging me by the shoes I'm wearing???
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:36:10 PM
This is a funny subject because my best girlfriend and I use to talked about this subject and how much of a turn off it can be when you meet a guy and what type of shoes he wears. I remember once dancing with a guy at a club and he was wearing nice clothes but when I looked down at his shoes they were old and worn and it totally turned me off. I didn't want to dance nor see this guy again. Her and I don't like cowboys so another turn off is seeing a guy with cowboy boots on. We know a few guys that aren't real cowboys but have a pair of cowboy boots and we laugh and joke about it. We don't think a guy needs to wear cowboy boots unless he is a real cowboy and rides horses. Otherwise it is just tacky. Tennis or athletic shoes can be a turn off too. Especially ones in dark colors and with velcro. I can't remember the last time I was on a date and a guy wore athletic shoes, even white ones. They really aren't appropriate in fine restaurants. Another shoe we would laugh about is when a guy wears socks with sandals and also flip flops if he doesn't cut his toe nails or his toes are hairy. I am feeling sick to my stomach right now at the thought....

So yes....you would be judged if your were my date. I would wear appropriate clothes and shoes and I would hope you have even sense to wear the proper shoes with dress clothes and they are not worn and they should be shined.
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Curved penis?
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:28:45 AM
I've had curved penises and it's great but reality is, it isn't only about the penis but the man attached to it!!!
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
The first time you realize that you're sexy
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:54:08 AM
I think the first time I felt attractive or sexy was when I was in 8th grade. I had moved to Reno and these two girls were really mean to my twin sister and I. I couldn't figure out why they were calling us names and being mean. About a week later they ended up coming forward and saying that they thought my sister and I were so pretty and that we were going to steal away their boyfriends. These girls were older and very attractive.

I feel the most attractive and sexy when I get a compliments from women. I am not a lesbian or even bi but there is something about approval from women that seem to score higher than with men. I think it is because women have a tendency to be "catty", jealous, nit picky, and critical of other women. When you have the approval from women and especially very attractive women, it is the most ego boosting compliment and makes me feel exceptionally sexy and attractive.
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/23/2008 10:18:35 AM
rentahusband...well, your statement of "even bad sex is good" is from a man's point of view. It's pretty much a given a man is going to "get off" on good or bad sex. But for women, we are more complicated creatures. If men and women were both "hard wired" the same life would be pretty boring. God created both of us in different ways to add balance and also, add intrigue and adventure....

Unfortunately, life and love can become complicated and it changes everything as we see from all of the posts and the OP.
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:01:54 AM
It truly amazes me how many people just give up so easily. You can see just by the posts on this thread how men and women are so different and also age group responses.

OP needs to ask himself , do I really love this woman enough to take the time to sit down and have a heart to heart. To open up myself beyond the sex and find out what truly is wrong. Or am I just into her for the sex only and she isn't putting out so I'll complain on a forum and ask permission to just move on.

Sex and intimacy is very important to me and I feel it is the number one topic of conversation among men and women. We all have complaints about sex. Not enough, too much, he/she is great in bed so I want more, she/he isn't good in bed, did we please each other, will we have it again soon, can I never have it again with that person and so on...

I have found in previous relationships that men (this is only my experience) will say they have a high sex drive, want it all the time, and will be this great lover, when in fact they are saying that only at the time when they are horny and when they aren't horny it all changes. I am sure it is the same for many women. It's all talk in the beginning to impress the other to want them and then life settles in and it changes.

You have "sex" (short term, selfish, non emotional, just get me off) and then you have "love and passion with intimacy" (giving, long term, wanting more, emotional, intoxicating, ecstasy)
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Girlfriend gets mad for me wanting sex, I get sad for not getting any in the first place.
Posted: 4/22/2008 11:35:08 PM
I think there are a lot of the pieces to the story missing here. We are only getting his point of view. I see her enjoying or loving sex but there is some other problem on her mind and he is not caring enough to probably even ask. If he sat down and actually "talked" to her to find out what is going on instead of just doing the "guy" attitude about sex he might get to the root of the problem and they would be enjoying a great sex life.

I would suggest reading "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus". It is a great book on just trying to get an idea where the opposite sex is coming from. I have a feeling that he isn't "listening" to her nor fulfilling her other needs. He needs to understand that woman have a great a need to be love, held, cuddled with, listened to, felt wanted and just understood. And the sex or should I say "intimacy" with the man who fulfills all of these other needs will find her "asking" more than once a week.

The other point is for her to feel wanted, love, appreciated, and secure to open herself up to intimacy, he needs to show her that he only wants her and not have an ad up on a dating site. She can never take him seriously if he can't show her how much he loves her and cares about her by taking his ad off and focusing on her.

It not some sort of power struggle or control. She just wants the love and respect she deserves and when he gives her that, intimacy on a more regular basis will just fall into place....
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 54 (view)
 
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/22/2008 11:08:33 PM
[And yes, women take advantage of drunk/passed out men as well.]

Most men can't perform properly when they are drunk and definitely can't perform when they are passed out...they aren't wired that way. But I could be wrong...I am sure I'll hear about it on this forum from the guys that are wired that way....
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 50 (view)
 
When is taking a drunk girl home from a bar and having sex considered rape?
Posted: 4/22/2008 10:17:14 PM
I've sold a lot of things requiring contracts and in each business we are told the contracts are not binding or even illegal if the person is intoxicated, on illegal drugs or mentally ill or challenged. It is so tempting to sell a drunk something and then keep your fingers crossed they still want it when they sober up.

I think you are entering into a "verbal contract" with a drunk girl which makes her mentally incapacitated thus in the eyes of a court of law not binding and illegal....and you become "the salesman", desperate for a sale and doing anything you can for it, even taking advantage of an intoxicated girl.

Hmmmmm....a little food for thought.
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 69 (view)
 
The California RE market
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:40:49 PM
It all boils down to Karma...and this is really bad Karma. When you do wrong, it will come back on you.
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 68 (view)
 
The California RE market
Posted: 4/15/2008 11:14:46 AM
I may have sounded argumentive but my point is...if the realtors, appraisers, and loan companies weren't all in kahoots, people would not be going into foreclosure right now. They offered the dream of homeownership to people who did not have the money to own and if documents were in truth would not have qualified. I only know this because of the people I know in California who are going into foreclosure told me that is what happened and also a lot of realtors I have spoke to told me they did this. When I first moved here two years ago I was approached by a realtor that he could sell me a home by he and the loan processor "Doctoring" up my loan application. I know how loans and home sales work, I did it in Nebraska and not once did I EVER falsify loan documents. I hear it over and over "HERE" that they did it. And it sounds like it was done more often than not. I live on the street where there are 20 homes, 8 are in foreclosure right now and I am sure another 5 or 6 will be soon....

But as I said...it's now pay back time to any of you out there that illegally sold homes in the last 4 to 5 years. You have no job in the home sales industry now and you've ruined a lot of lives. Shame on you!!!!
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 67 (view)
 
The California RE market
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:45:26 PM
I moved to California two years ago from Nebraska. I was a Realtor in Nebraska. Nebraska doesn't have the same situation going on as in California. From my point of view I just see greed. Greedy Realtors, Greedy Appraisers, and Greedy people in the Lending industry that basically took advantage of people who had no money to purchase a home and the home market and escalated the values and falsified loan documents to put money in their pockets. Now these same greedy people have no jobs and people are losing their homes and home values are plummeting because of that greed. Housing prices were escalating at an alarming rate a few years back (supply and demand but really there was no demand, there was a "false" demand) and the only way the housing industry could make a sale was for everyone associated with home sales to go after people who really couldn't afford to be home owners, these people were tricked into these crazy loans. And now it is all coming to the surface. Well, I hope all of the people who were in the housing industry a few years back are getting ready to lose their own homes too because it is pay back time for their greed!!! Thanks for messing up the housing market, ruining lives and the economy!!!
 oceangirlnla1
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Celibacy - Pros and Cons
Posted: 4/14/2008 10:53:44 AM
If they were "planning" on being celibate. I would assume they weren't yet. And I would ask them what brought them to that decision. If it was because of past life experience, that they were having trouble getting over then I would suggest counseling. If it wasn't and just a personal choice then I would accept their choice. Its a choice that could change depending on if they found themselves in a serious relationship and could re-evaluate their situation at the time.
 
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