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 Author Thread: Guys with facial hair.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Guys with facial hair.
Posted: 4/30/2008 4:35:26 AM
A beard is yuckie.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Why do men ask for more pics ??
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:23:28 PM
I only ask for more pics when I need more to get an idea of the build of the woman. I looked at your profile. I have no idea why one would need more pictures of you. As clearly depicted in your pictures, you are thin and show a nice face, so I have no idea what the point for more pictures would be. Perhaps you are getting e-mails from men with no ability to visualize?
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why do some men have to get perverted in their messages?
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:09:50 PM
There are two reasons people act differently in the way you describe online than in person: (1) relative anonymity and (2) emotional disassociation with target. Any sexually perverted e-mails are likely a direct result of those two facts creating an environment where quite ordinary sexual urges surface in an unpleasant way, which is actually focused toward any woman who happens to be in the line of fire. It has more to do with the characteristic of the medium than you or even the men writing the e-mails. I think such e-mails do bring to light a very basic part of male sexuality. Most single men are terrifically sexually frustrated, and indeed, that is the impetus for many of us seeking a companion. Of course, falling in love, starting a family, and all sorts of other, even more wonderful things, happen as a result of that urge, so it isn't as bad as you might think at first blush. But those e-mails do probably suck, and I am sorry you had to put up with them. My advise: get comfortable with that delete button.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Never married & no kids
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:52:38 PM
Yes, I would be cautious. Certainly I bet there are decent men who never got attached in a marriage nor had kids by age 30, but I would say it's probably more rare than not. If you've been that isolated, then what's the chance you've developed yourself? Also the insecurities that almost certainly would evolve such a loner life, could have totally wrecked havoc. Just proceed with caution is all I say.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What do people think about rehashing the past with a new love interest?Tell don't tell.
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:47:05 PM
Talking about one's ex is probably unavoidable if the incident was recent, but I think one should try to keep the talk at a minimum until the relationship matures a bit. People don't like to be loaded down with that sort of burden before the wheels of love even get turning, at least I don't.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Protecting Your Woman
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:40:09 PM
Some women need this sort of alpha-male-protection stuff. In reality, though, women differ just like men do. You cannot make some generalization about this. Your question reminds me of when I've read some women ask, "Do all men like to have sex and then just roll over and go to sleep?" Of course, _some_ men are like that. Personally, I am the opposite. I like to cuddle and chat after sex.

I feel that your question has some self doubt in it. You shouldn't doubt yourself. If you don't want to be the alpha-male protector type, then don't do it. Find a woman who doesn't value, or even hates, men who act that way. The world is a big place, and it is made of all types.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Spin off from, men over 35 seriously looking for marriage? Why???
Posted: 4/20/2008 5:32:40 PM
Marriage is not a goal for me, but I welcome commitment if I find someone. A good marriage is not as commonly described in jokes as the ones you quoted. Nothing really changes with marriage outside of one simple fact: commitment keeps the relationship intact even when the feelings temporarily die. In other words, marriage is a promise that you'll stick it out through the good and the bad times.

In today's society, marriage is often just some superficial party that says, "Hey, look at me! I'm hooked up! Let's have a party about it!" But it should be a LOT deeper than that in my view, and obviously, societies current popular views are lead to such a high number of divorces that it hardly makes sense to bother getting married anymore for fear of the legal issues surrounding the probably divorce. A marriage is hard, just like a long-term relationship can be hard. There are compromises. She wants sex each week and he wants it every day. What to do? Maybe have it every other day. Such compromises are the backbone of a marriage. And sometimes, in my opinion, there are minor sacrifices that must be made (but true sacrifice, as opposed to compromise, should not be a common component of a marriage).

I'm 37. My wife left me late last year to pursue her PhD and because she fell out of love with me. She simply left to pursue her PhD. There was no other man involved. There was no clear warning that she was going to leave me, and indeed, everyone around her was totally shocked at her decision. It just happened because she had bottled up all sorts of feelings just like they taught her to do in Syria. Well, she isn't in Syria, and that meant she had an option to leave. So despite all my begging and pleading, she left me. Now, I liked being married. It was great, so why _wouldn't_ I want to be married again? If I find a woman I am in love with, I would again give her my promise to never leave her, and I'd be glad to do it. Why? Because the woman I am looking for would not abuse me after I gave her that promise. She'd just love me more for it. Marriage is beautiful I think.

My only hang up with marriage with ladies in their 30s, is I get this strong feeling that many of them are not marrying for love but because they think it's the right move for children. In my view to have children is not a good justification for marriage. A good marriage provides a good environment for children, but the marriage comes first and independent of any desire for kids. Because I see it that way, I often feel some unseen hand is pressuring women to get hitched up for kids, despite their feelings or lack thereof about whom they are dating. That's sad.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Gym Etiquette?
Posted: 3/24/2008 8:57:18 AM
You sound completely obsessive-compulsive with germs. Your body is one large collection of bacteria and bugs. Loose hair flies around the workplace all the time. And dandruff? Ever see dust? That is mostly human dander. Read up sometime on the reality of this stuff and stop worrying about it.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 56 (view)
 
how long can a man go without sex?
Posted: 3/24/2008 8:51:53 AM
Biologically speaking, a man never needs sex. Psychologically speaking, going without sex for me has a lot to do with if I have found someone I can love. I don't mean being totally in love necessarily, but it won't work for me unless there is some connection. Until that connection is there, I'll just stick with my oldest and most faithful partner, my right hand. LOL
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 24 (view)
 
How do you guys do it??
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:19:44 PM
Lot's of questions there. Let me give it a whirl.


How do you handle this internet dating thing? Do you take a lot of time, typing with women, testing the waters, searching for a sign of chemistry? or, do you talk to tons of women briefly, trying to set up as many meetings as possible, hoping that maybe one would pan out?


I take a lot of time, and no, I don't talk to many women. Many see my profile, see it is more than 100 words, and move on I guess.


Are you using this avenue to arrange a booty call or seriuosly searching for something lasting? Would you take the time to meet a woman if you knew up front that there would be absolutely no possibility for sex?


I am looking for what opportunities arise. I am not above sex without a commitment, and neither are most men. However, if I had my choice, I'd find the love of my life here... and NOW! But the best things in life are worth waiting for, don't you think? Oh, and of course, I would meet someone if there was absolutely no chance for sex. Friends, female included, are a very valuable part of life and can be very rewarding.


Could someone give me the words of wisdom that I need to take it seriously?


Don't talk to the idiots who cannot produce for you a decent conversation. If someone is that dumb or careless, then they don't deserve your reply, right?
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Could you go 11 months without sex?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:12:27 PM
I would not cheat on my wife EVER, and not getting sex is certainly no reason to do it. Aside from that sex is a lot more than vaginal intercourse. That is only one of a dozen ways to do it. I believe if she wanted, she could be engaged sexually in some other capacity, and I would do that for my significant other if I personally could not have sex for some reason (say I was stricken impotent for some time due to sickness or something).
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
BMI?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:07:32 PM
BMI is worthless for a muscular man as I am. My BMI is 25.8, which if overweight. My percentage bodyfat according to a fairly accurate 7-point caliper test is 13%, or in the middle of the lean range (well below normal but not quite that of a professional athlete)
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Has anyone experienced wierd things taking Ambien?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:02:50 PM
I was also prescribed Ambien. Ambien did not help me sleep. Rather, I hallucinated on it in the sense the blackness behind my eye lids seemed to open up into dimn psychedelic patterns. Although somewhat entertaining, the effect was not what I had hoped.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 48 (view)
 
At what point am I sacrificing my self respect waiting for sex?
Posted: 3/13/2008 10:53:16 PM
It's not about sacrificing self respect. It's about compatibility. It well could be that the girl you are dating does not like sex or just doesn't find it as important as you. Bring up the point and talk about it. Communication is the key.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Is 30's the dead zone in dating?
Posted: 3/13/2008 10:49:26 PM
I concur with your findings, and I think it has a lot to do with child rearing which is largely done in one's 30s.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Why are women under 30 so materialistic?
Posted: 3/13/2008 10:48:23 PM
Materialism is the new religion of our times. Like all religions, it promises a reason for living. I have met women of all ages over about age 20 who were materialistic and men too. It has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with the times. It's sad, really.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Masterbation...How much is Too Much???
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:58:46 PM
The more sex I get the more I masturbate too. I think it has something to do with the smell of her vagina or phermones or something. Anyway, when I was in my teens and 20s, I used to do it twice or three times a day. I am nearing my late 30s now and I'm down to only once a day like you (sometimes up to three times but not usually). When I have a steady sexual outlet, I still tend to do it daily because no woman I've been with can keep up with me.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Brazilian Wax- question to the ladies
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:44:47 PM
My ex used to do them all the time. We'd typically wait a day or two. It can be pretty sensitive otherwise. The skill of the waxer greatly determines this. Yes, do take 800 mg (4 pills) of Ibuprophen. It will help some, but again, the skill of the waxer determines the amount of pain too.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I love you......oh oh...
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:42:25 PM
It happens. Love and the passion of sex are closely linked, but just because you said you love someone in the heat of the moment, hardly means you love them. In a fling, it more likely means you wished you did.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
For the Guys!
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:39:37 PM
No I do not like it. I hate it actually. A little moaning, dirty talk, etc. is fine, but the loud stuff is a total turn off and freaky to me. I don't like all sorts of noise and dumb fake comments in pornos either, which is why I usually turn off the sound. Some sound during an orgasm is probably normal and fine, but screaming really loud is totally uncool and unsexy.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Why Lie!?
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:27:26 PM
It's the hazzard of online dating. I have never found a girl online that was attractive, meaning a size 6 or less for me. It's still fun to search though. It's like trying to find that diamond in the coal. If you are serious about finding a decent looking female, though, you best go to real-life social events. Online girls in particular are mostly the ones who cannot compete in that arena. Here any living female, ugly, crazy, dumb as dirt, with 10 kids and 4 exhusbands, redneck, or whatever, feels like a million bucks because regardless of their condition, they can lie and will get a hundred e-mails a day.
One guy will eventually feel sorry for them on the date, and then they're set.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Looks or Personality
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:21:24 PM
Looks and personality are important elements of who you are. They also indicate a lot about how well you take care of yourself and your ability to effectively communicate with your partner. Looks also, for me, are key in sexual attraction, and without the right look, I will feel absolutely no sexual attraction toward a female at all (it'd be a like dating another man to me).
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
i know that this subject but ive never discussed it here so here it goes..
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:17:20 PM
It's the chase. A decent guy would either stop bothering you, though, or get out. I'd get out. I am so not into virgins.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Putting Out (question for the dudes)
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:13:18 PM
Who cares if she put out the first date or not? It would make absolutely no difference in my decision making process to see her again.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 83 (view)
 
When is it OK to cheat?
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:11:34 PM
People who cheat are worthless lying scumbags. Or they might just be very insecure people who don't know how to get out of a relationship because they lack a backbone. Either way, cheating sucks. It hurts people a lot. I have never cheated in my life, and I will never either. What's the point? Pick a partner you find hot, keep your love alive, and don't put yourself into tempting situations. Then you'll never want to cheat in the first place. Oh, and getting caught is totally irrelevant. When you cheat, YOU change too. That's because you will have bonded with another person outside of your marriage and you will have lied to your partner, even if she or he doesn't find out.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
freinds with benefits relationships
Posted: 3/9/2008 11:01:36 PM
Works for awhile, but it usually doesn't work forever (of course there are exceptions). It isn't a male concept, though.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Touching a man´s butt?????
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:56:39 PM
I have a good butt, and I am used to girls I've dated squeezing it. I love it. Your boyfriend probably is insecure in his sexuality and associates your advances with being homosexual, less a man, or whatever. He'll grow up eventually, but you might not want to wait.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 84 (view)
 
How long for cunnilingus?
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:53:43 PM
LOL 45 minutes without an orgasm yet wants you to continue? I have never heard of such a woman. You should work on making her cum. After a few orgasms, she'll calm down.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
How do I get my guy to throw me around a little?
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:51:38 PM
If a girl as pretty as you cannot find a guy who will do what she wants sexually, then you aren't looking very hard. Some guys, though, aren't capable of rough sex. They might feel they are abusing you, even if you want it. Keep in mind that some women DO want to be abused since they feel unworthy of anything more. I mean they'll say they want it but then cry about it later. He might feel you are like that.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
men..would you date a woman with little or no sex drive?
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:46:57 PM
Ask you doctor about Welbutrin. It is a novel antidepressant that actually increases sex drive for many, and it never decreases it. I am on it, and I am horny as can be!

I would not date a woman without a sex drive, even if she SAID she would develop one or didn't mind me having sex with her. Why? Because sooner or later, it may be 2 years or 10 years, she'll stop wanting to please you and accuse you of "using her" for sex. And in a way you would be if she weren’t into it. I've been down that path with a woman before and it isn’t pretty. Such things destroy relationships.

Having said that, you might want to date a guy that has a very low sex drive so you can be better matched. Look for extremely obese men. If you aren't into sex, then their weight shouldn't be a problem, and often such men have very low testosterone levels (which is why they are morbidly obese to begin with).
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Is kissing a important part of intimacy???
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:41:41 PM
For me kissing, cuddling, and hugging are extremely important for me to get aroused. They provide essential closeness that makes sex much, much better.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 38 (view)
 
sex in a church?
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:39:18 PM
I am totally non-religious, so I have no qualms about doing it in a church. It might be sort of a turn on that those around you would think it bad since they feel the church is the house of God or some spirit or whatever.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Why don't men suggest more than eating or hanging out at home?
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:28:26 PM
I think in the past I've always considered that ladies might feel scared if we did something too "out there". On the other hand, I think us guys are as bored as you are with these selections. I like this post because it made me think about the fact that maybe I should lead to something more interesting next time. Cool. Thanks!

PS - As for staging for sex, I don't think so. Sex comes plenty fast in my experience. There is no "staging" required for it to happen almost immediately (within the first five dates at least).
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Brightly dyed hair: is it immature?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:58:08 PM
Brightly colored hair has certain counter cultural implications. In that regard I would consider it sexy and a pro. However, having said that, counter cultural tendencies tend to wane with age. The reasons are many including a loss of idealism and, in some cases, hope for change at all. In that regard I would associate it with youth, again sexy for me. As for my family, I say if they don't like it, then they could go to hell. I am a big boy now and can date who I want.

PS - I looked at your profile and you look great with your hair colored. Don't worry about it.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Nice Smile
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:52:12 PM
You sound a little insecure, but no, a nice smile is a nice smile, period. If that's all he said, then maybe that's all you have or maybe not.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Just curious what a man thinks...
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:49:03 PM
Women's biggest misconception about guys is that they are in some way remotely like them in the area of sexual drive. A woman cannot, under any circumstances, understand the sexual drive of a man, especially a young man (at least a healthy guy). When I was in my 20s, I thought of sex about every few seconds. I hated it so much that I considered castration. Thankfully, I never did it. At 37 I'm getting a little bit more like women now, but I would say I'm still about 10 times as sexual as any woman I've met. Women just cannot understand it. And to be honest, men don't either.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 95 (view)
 
Putting out on the first date.
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:45:52 PM
Of course I would. So she likes sex and puts out. What's the big deal? I am not insecure about other guys. I've been in shower rooms and I know where I stand...
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 170 (view)
 
men and oral sex...
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:42:28 PM
LOL Actually, I wouldn't even consider dating someone who would have a problem with it. If you were going to be with a guy like me, you'd have to learn to get dirty! HA HA! I'd lick a girl out on the rag, man! I'll even take her backdoor and clean it with my tongue. Yeah, I'm dirty like that.

Having said that, I personally don't like oral sex. It is to delicate, and I'm not that sensitive to it. The real deal is where it's at!
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
why guys ask for your pic?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:38:08 PM
Yes, they want to see if they share "chemistry" as the latest euphamism likes to call it. In other words, is there a chance you are going to become more than a friend or is this going to become a friendship only by requirement of your looks? For example, I find that most online women are below average in looks and are, on average, much fatter than women in a club for example.

Men and women are different in this way. Many if not most men, including me, cannot be attracted physically to a person they find ugly. Women obviously can and often are (refer to the fairy tale Beauty and the Beast or consider all the gross old men who manage to marry hot chicks based on wit, humor, money, etc.).
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 239 (view)
 
Do Christian Women Scare You Off ???
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:32:26 PM
Yes, they do. I would never in a million years date a lady who calls herself a Christian. My mother was a holly roller and she shoved it down my throat my entire youth growing up. I’ve seen more weird shit under the name of God that I’d like to ever admit even. Thankfully, I’m all grown up now. I am agnostic and close to an atheist actually, and I am so glad the brainwashing didn't stick and ruin my life.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Chemistry: Fact or Fiction?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:26:33 PM
To me chemistry is a loaded word. People who use the term often seem to suggest that another has to do some magic thing or act in some magic way for two people to be sexually attracted. For me attraction sexually is purely if the woman is thin and has a reasonably good body, especially in the parts I care about (I will spare you details here), and if she is open to me sexually. That's it. She doesn't need to do anything. Now here's the problem: most of the United States is now obese. Furthermore, the vast majority are slightly overweight and don't exercise. Even worse almost all online girls are heavier than the national average, so yes, I don't share chemistry with anyone I've met online yet. But I keep trying because it's easy to do. Real life, though, is where it's at for me (chemistry that is). Oh, and by the way, I am in very good shape myself (13% bodyfat, build, abs, etc.), so I feel justified to demand my partner is in reasonably good shape.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Do happily married men spontaneously have intimate moments with single women?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:19:29 PM
Happily married men do a lot of things, so the answer to your question is yes. Happily married men might also be axe murders too, so what's the point of the question?

Honest men don't mess around if that's what you want to know, and some men are honest. I would venture to say, however, that the vast majority of men and women are, at some point, tempted to become intimate with another. Temptation doesn't mean doing, though.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Do men liked to be kissed all over?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:14:47 PM
I like being kissed all over if I am attracted to the woman. Of course like anything, if it goes on too long, then it could get boring, but I never had that problem. Kissing me in certain parts can make me feel tickled, though, so you have to take it easy sometimes. Like behind my ears I can get tickled.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Why do men get a pat on the back but women get labelled?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:10:16 PM
Gee, what kind of dumb men are you dating? I don't mind if a girl puts out. In fact it is sexy. The last thing I want is some stupid virgin or whatever. I want a girl who is sexual and a slut or whatever they call sexual women but also knows how to be totally faithful once in a committed relationship, just like me.
 sirhugsalot
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Are there any men looking for true love for a lifetime?
Posted: 3/9/2008 9:06:20 PM
Of course there are men seeking true love, but I doubt you and I define the term “true love” the same way. I am looking for the love of my life. That means to me someone who I am best friend and we enjoy sex, but also someone who I know their faults and love them despite them. True love has, to me, almost nothing to do with dating. A true love to me is when you don't feel in love with your spouse but you keep trying until the feeling comes back. It means sticking with your girlfriend or spouse through thick and thin even if you don't want to because you believe in that person. That's true love. Anything that takes place in the first two years of any relationship is true lust, not love. In those early years all one has are a bunch of body chemicals (adrenaline, oxytocin and testosterone mostly) telling one that this person one is dating is perfect. Once normal brain functioning resumes and many, many years have past, then you might be ready to understand if that person and you share any true love, but not until then.
 
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