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 Author Thread: does one person usually love the other person more ?
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 5 (view)
 
does one person usually love the other person more ?
Posted: 7/18/2010 8:27:13 AM
I agree with Crisro. There are relationships where one person is more emotionally invested than the other, and sometimes the one who is more in love waits and hopes that the other will "catch up."

Don't think anyone can say that "usually" one person loves the other more; but it does happen, probably a lot. Then it's a question whether the couple stays together anyway, or splits due to the imbalance. Perhaps for the couples that make it, each one feels loved "enough..."
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 407 (view)
 
The New Season Of LOST
Posted: 5/25/2010 6:22:38 PM
bigger questions...

why did Claire lose her tan in her last scene on the island..

why didn't Jack chant over the water before passing the "goblet" to Hurley...

why wasn't Vincent in the Church!!!

Sigh...so many questions ;)

...but still...

tears and withdrawal from a fantastical world and people that I for one will miss.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
brain hemorrage
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:55:29 PM
wow! just saw my old post here resurrected which was originally about Brett boomeranging off the stage drop.
this newest health woe is horrible! he actually comes off (in the few interviews I've seen him) as a very likeable guy. I truly hope he comes through this...with no lasting damage.
sending out positive thoughts...
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Cougar Town
Posted: 3/26/2010 8:06:13 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I guess you didn't like Friends? Guess it's an agree to disagree...loved that show...and love Cougar Town! Hey...initials CT...did they do that on purpose?

 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Gee, where did CateeOne's profile go?
Posted: 3/25/2010 9:46:49 PM
I'm with message 13. Leave the OP alone; he's new and probably thought it was okay to try to get a message out. Sorta like the section in the VOICE where people are looking for someone they smiled at on the platform, or struck up a conversation with in a coffee shop.

No harm OP. Best to you!
)
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Cougar Town
Posted: 3/25/2010 9:40:23 PM
I hate the term "cougar" and I was dreading this show. However, I LOVE IT! Think it's hilarious...sharp, love the camraderie of the core group, the sarcasm/witty banter...really loving the characters. The son just has to make an expression...the ex-husband is adorably goofy...Hope it's around for a bit!
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
she already broke my heart now shes back?
Posted: 3/17/2010 4:09:20 PM
could the answers on this post get any sleazier?

don't answer that!

 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 26 (view)
 
tired of the on-again off-again carousel
Posted: 3/17/2010 8:15:05 AM
Hi OP...

You don't sound angry at all; you sound conflicted.

There is no one on a singles site that can give you the right answer on such a serious decision that will effect three people's lives. It's a great place to vent and get some various opinions/ input.

It seems, from what little you've said, that this is not a relationship based on love, respect and friendship. It appears you two aren't good at conflict resolution, and the predominant resolution over the years has been to get a divorce. For the sake of your daughter (or perhaps one or both of you really didn't want to split) you've stayed together.

However, this latest round your wife stated emphatically that she wanted out, and the wheels were set in motion. Backpedaling on her part at this point because of money, (her fear of not having it, or of having to give up her dreams or put them on hold while she tries to make her own) doesn't seem like she's suddenly had a revelation that you're each others great love. Her change of heart, from the way you describe it, wasn't based on sentimentality, a longing to work it out, etc. It's based on economics.

So, you need to see if that reasoning works for you or if you will forever be questioning why she's with you...which could of course lead to more resentment and further fights/distancing. And then you'll be back to impending divorce.

Sounds corny, but look into your heart. If you think there's love there (and in hers) go for "another round." Also ask yourself if you would have been broken up by now if you weren't "legally bound" with a child...do you hope to find a better, healthier relationship in your life one day... And ultimately, would your daughter be better off in a home with dissension, or with two parents who might one day find happiness and healthier relationships with others.

But a marriage where one partner is staying because she is accustomed to the lifestyle isn't one based on love.

Best...
:)
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How to avoid repeating the pattern?
Posted: 3/14/2010 10:02:14 PM
Lily...
Please don't take anything negative that anyone says out here to heart or personally. You're a "newbie" and these forums can be brutal! Just scout around at old posts...

I thought you expressed yourself well and with humor. It's not easy being in difficult relationships...ahem!...and many of us are here and single because of our own patterns/mistakes/broken hearts, etc. It's part of the human condition.

It's unfortunate that you had to go through an unhealthy relationship after finally getting out of an unhealthy marriage, but it's great that you have the strength to walk away.

Try to see if there were signs that you missed and look for other similarities in these two men. Are they a certain type? Was there something initially about the ex-boyfriend that reminded you of your ex-husband? You were taken advantage of...what were this man's circumstances? Analyze why you would be so generous to someone who left you three times. Might be about insecurity and trying to hold on to someone. Dunno...but hang in there! You'll do fine...

As for Mr. Clambroth/ Essential in the above post; look at your use of tenses in your "first date" description. ESSENTIALLY, it's wrong.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Do you react differently when contacted by a person of a common religion/culture?
Posted: 3/14/2010 1:15:10 PM
You're being too sensitive...and judgmental. Just because religion means nothing to you, there are girls and guys who would like to meet someone from their faith/culture/race, whatever. Personal preference. If you state you're Jewish, which you did in your description, then you will probably be contacted by girls looking for Jewish guys if they find you attractive.

You can say no thank you if you're not interested just as you would to anyone who you didn't think you'd have anything in common. What if the girl was "short", you had nothing in common, but she was not Jewish. Would that make it any different? Are you never contacted by non-Jewish girls you have nothing in common with?

I get contacted all the time by guys from with interests completely opposite from mine and seemingly nothing in common. Doesn't matter what background they're from.

And like another poster said, if you don't date "short" put height requirements!
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 356 (view)
 
The New Season Of LOST
Posted: 3/14/2010 11:53:19 AM
Still loving the show and will miss it when it's gone. What I don't like is the loss of camaraderie. The core group had such a bond and now, for the most part, it's each man or woman for him/her self. I liked the "us" vs. "others"...now it's me vs you vs them vs each other.

Maybe it's a whole loyalty test...the loss of family, friends, love, stability, familiarity. In essence, we're all lost...

Kinda profound.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Why do I ignore these flags ?
Posted: 3/14/2010 8:41:13 AM
Because BentonHarbor...

"Bringing these "red flags" to light BEFORE you really really know they are present could work to destroy any interest from someone---they'd think you're nuts for talking too intensely too soon."

I disagree...

Red flags are what you feel...so they ARE present...in your gut. Communication is essential in all relationships. Instead of letting something play out for as long as the OP did, it would be beneficial, if she likes someone, to say how she feels in a non-confrontational way.

And yes, it's great to "keep hope alive" because one could mistake those red flags and bail on someone/something that could have potential...unless they talk.

These two did not have a relationship. They had, it seemed, a mutual interest, an occasional date. She could have asked him what was going on earlier and if he were honest, she'd know. If he was not, and this thing went on and on for many months or more, then she'd have to take the information he gave her with his words, couple them with his actions, and apply the cliche "actions speak louder than words."

Then wave her red flag, and him...good bye.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 32 (view)
 
white flag or red flag
Posted: 3/13/2010 10:33:21 PM
run!
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Seeking love at any age
Posted: 3/13/2010 10:29:06 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I think you're playing semantics. What I believe the OP is saying first off is a positive message, so no need to criticize her. She's expressing herself in romantic terms...two people will be "everything" to each other...as in go through life's up and downs, joys, sorrows, etc. And, she goes further to clarify that one shouldn't try to change someone but love them for who they are.

Nice sentiments OP...and there's nothing wrong with seeking love. It doesn't mean that your life is incomplete or unhappy without it; it means you'd like to find it.

 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why do I ignore these flags ?
Posted: 3/13/2010 9:20:20 PM
It sounds to me, in this particular scenario, that you were getting mixed signals. It's unfortunately too easy to ignore red flags when you're interested in someone who's not totally dismissing you. You had a great date, he was emailing you consistently and open to seeing you again. So, perhaps the part of you that liked him hoped that the next time you got together would spark enough of a reaction on his part that he'd pick up the pace.

It's the "keep hope alive" thing...until he finally ends it with an explanation that, in hindsight, seems obvious. Maybe next time you get a gut feeling just bring your thought up to the guy and get it out there. Then you'll be acknowledging your "red flags" instead of burying them.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
So i wish him great love.. and ill will..lol
Posted: 3/10/2010 4:09:50 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
you can land em...just be prepared to land again when she dumps your older self!
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
attractive, but not attractived to them.
Posted: 3/10/2010 4:06:10 PM
Message 41/legosoul...



Although you don't need to look like either...you're a cutie all on your own...you do look a tad Hunchback of Notre Damish in your green costume!
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
So i wish him great love.. and ill will..lol
Posted: 3/10/2010 3:49:47 PM
Oh Debi...
Big hug! Rejection is always painful and self-esteem takes a big hit. But, and I truly believe this; how long can a relationship last when the dude is 44 and she's 22! Obviously he's looking for "something"...but it ain't long term! If it is, she's going to become his eventual caregiver!

Look for a man who is ready for a mature relationship with a peer; someone who values sharing his life with a partner, not a daughter!

 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
attractive, but not attractived to them.
Posted: 3/7/2010 11:01:06 PM
totally.
Latest example:
I went dancing the other night and there was this model type guy: tall, great body, square jaw, great hair...stunning! Could've been on the runway...

Danced with him and voila! Elaine from Seinfeld! It was beyond hilarious and somehow rather disturbing! LOL...

Then, this other guy...shorter, kinda cute, but funky/hip...total rhythm machine! SEXY!

Complete turn-on. The "model"? Not so much...
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
He had a long distance gf the whole time!
Posted: 2/28/2010 12:37:52 AM
This post is over a month old but the OP is still on POF so...

OP, if you read this I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. I don't know the status of your mom at this point since her condition when you last posted was dire...you sound like a wonderful, loving daughter and I hope you're doing as best you can.

I'm so sorry that you were almost unilaterally attacked on this post; you didn't deserve it. It's not for anyone to judge the "why" of staying in a relationship...you met a guy you liked...he told you he wasn't seeing anyone else. The fact as you explained it was that he stated he didn't have a girlfriend and he didn't want an exclusive relationship "now." However, he continued to date you/sleep with you/lie to you. You, on the other hand, probably hoped that eventually it would turn into a relationship and were totally blindsided when you found out he had a girlfriend.

Yes, I hear the other posters that you should have listened to your instincts when you questioned if he was seeing someone else. The bottom line is you were vulnerable, your mom was sick...and you had hope that he was telling the truth...hope that maybe down the road he'd change his mind.

You were terribly hurt and it's not easy to get over or trust after something like that. But...you were dealing with a liar and a user. It's one thing to say that he doesn't want a relationship...it's another to deny repeatedly that he has a girlfriend...know how sick your mom was...know all the sorrow you must have been experiencing over her...all you had to deal with...and use you.

You lost nothing in reality with this guy. He was an insensitive user/liar. I so hope that you've healed and that you have no more contact with him.

Don't blame yourself for being vulnerable.
Best...
:)
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Repeated rejection
Posted: 2/27/2010 5:34:13 PM
old post but I just had to resurrect it by saying...

OP...great post full of heartfelt honesty and intelligence. Anyone, male or female can relate to what you wrote...rejection hurts, being led on hurts, and being played hurts.

When you go into something with honest intentions and assume the person responding to you is doing the same, it just hits you right where you live to find out they're not sincere.

You sound like a genuine guy capable of great love...hope you find it. As for the "tough love" out here on the forums, ignore it. People without sensitivity are part of the problem...

:)
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Depressed
Posted: 2/11/2010 8:04:25 AM
Hi Stephen...

I think there are several things going on here. The first is you're understandably grieving; losing someone we love whether it be by breakup or because they don't return the feelings, is emotionally devastating. You've known this girl for a few years and maybe hoped that your friendship would turn into something more. It must have been beyond hurtful for you to realize she had a boyfriend and then got married. It's a loss, and three weeks is still not enough time to remove someone from your heart/thoughts. It's, unfortunately, a long process, but it will get better. Sounds cliche as everyone says it. But, it's true. We've all gone through it and until/if we all meet "the one" we'll probably go through it again.

The second thing is you wrote in your profile that you have low self-esteem. Well, this is a blow to your self-esteem. It's a blow to someone who is confident in themselves, so it's particularly hurtful if you don't think well of yourself to begin with. Please don't internalize what happened to think you're not good enough. From your one pic and short profile you seem like a good-looking guy with a good heart. There are many reasons people don't click in a romantic way, and it has nothing to do with the fact that you weren't "good" enough.

When you start having confidence in yourself, you'll feel better, and you'll probably attract girls who will be attracted to you...

Confidence is a turn-on...believe in yourself, take pride in yourself and realize you're as good as anyone else.

Hang on...
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Naughty Dancing = Cheating?
Posted: 2/8/2010 8:28:40 PM
hmmmmm...
I guess no one here watches Dancing With the Stars...lottsa married "stars" and dancers grindin' and humpin' and hot-to-trottin...

no harm/no foul. or whatever that expression is...
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
should I be resentful over the little things?
Posted: 2/4/2010 3:24:44 AM
Hi OP...
In general, you shouldn't be resentful if you think they are "little things." However, I agree with I Cornelius that it's nice to share...I had a relationship where we'd just split whatever we each ordered, and if there was one piece left on his plate he'd practically push it on to mine. I'd refuse because I wanted him to have it. It wasn't about the food; it was the consideration and sweetness that went behind the act.

You took him to an expensive restaurant. Did he notice that? Did he realize it was steep for you but you did it anyway? Did he seem to appreciate that? Did he notice that you "downsized" your own meal to be able to afford it? If not, maybe you felt under appreciated.

Knowing his ex's clothing size? How do you know that he knows that...did you ask him to test him? Did he just throw that information out to you...is he comparing your body/weight/shape to hers? Don't know why he'd be discussing that with you. So, the fact that he doesn't know yours yet (has he bought you anything that would require him to know that?) isn't a big deal...but the fact that you're both discussing his ex's size is.

Condom vs. pill? As most said, that's not a little thing, and that's not his decision alone to make.

Great relationship? No one can tell you that you have that. Only you know. So, if these things bother you, stop and think why. Are these things all adding up because of other behavior? Think about how all these "little things" might be connected to a larger issue. If they don't...enjoy the relationship and see where it takes you...but discuss the things that bother you. "I felt like you didn't appreciate where I took you for your Birthday" ( unless he seemed to/showed you that he did.) Condoms vs. pills. DISCUSS IT.

Good Luck...
:)
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Only wants to remain friends
Posted: 1/28/2010 5:48:04 AM
OP
I'm sorry you're hurt.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Avatar. The movie
Posted: 1/18/2010 8:22:37 AM
loved it; the most spectacular imagery...in 3D... I have ever seen. Stunning. Unfortunately, sooooo tired when I saw it; have to see it again.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Girlfriend Is Still Close With Her EX...Please advise
Posted: 1/16/2010 10:49:13 AM
OP...

You're totally right to be concerned. It's not "okay" for an individual to disregard what their current boyfriend/girlfriend's feelings are. It's not "okay" to hang out with an opposite sex best friend who you are still sexually attracted to, had sex with recently, and most probably will have sex with again if he/she is free. This is not a platonic relationship, never was, doesn't seem like it is now.

Hanging out with him alone, late at night...when you're her boyfriend? Still attracted to each other? Best friends?

You are absolutely right to feel this way, and she should respect/understand your feelings if she cares about you and the relatonship. Hanging out with a feck buddy who is your "best friend"...

Nah.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Adam Lambert American Music Awards
Posted: 12/21/2009 6:54:19 PM
There is a huge double standard...but I'm a Lady Gaga fan too! I think they're both incredibly talented, and their "styles" just make them more interesting to me. Real? Pretentious? Don't know...but Lady Gaga's got (say that three times fast! LOL...) some great videos. I have a feeling Adam's could be just as interesting but he's walking on eggshells now so it's going to be a while before he really gets to "struts" his stuff.......
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Leonard Cohen Returns...
Posted: 12/8/2009 7:02:37 AM
If that's what an LP at 16 rpm sounds like cd's should never have been invented. Love Leonard Cohen. Played his version of Hallelujah over and over last week. Mesmerizing.

Jaynsheri...I'll look for the book! Thanks!
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 42 (view)
 
Harmless flirting?
Posted: 12/2/2009 10:46:26 AM
No, I actually think the fact that he's still married and still on here looking for friends is extremely relevant to his question as each case is different. I also stated that I would not think it's harmless in a defined relationship, however their relationship needs to be examined on both sides which could be leading to her flirting. He's not asking a generalized question; this is specific to his relationship.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Harmless flirting?
Posted: 12/2/2009 10:20:52 AM
Well first off OP...you're not even single. You're separated. So, if you've been seeing this "girlfriend" for eight months, how committed to the relationship are you? You're on this site saying you're looking for friends. What does that mean...you've been on this site for as long as you've known this woman. Confusing. Perhaps she think the TWO of YOU are just friends with benefits...one benefit being she is free to flirt with others since you're not technically free.

In a different situation, where two people are completely (legally) single, are in love and monogamous, I'd say there is no doubt that her "banners" are way outta line and way above "flirting...especially with a blatant sign (literally and figuratively) about having sex.

So, no. It's not harmless flirting. It's way inappropriate. But again, what does she think she has with a guy who is still technicallly married and is still looking for "friends."

I think you both have to figure out what you two are together, and what you want to be together...otherwise, sounds like a no-strings attached from both sides.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Adam Lambert American Music Awards
Posted: 12/2/2009 9:49:27 AM
I agree Josiemac...
Somehow though I just cant' help lovin' the guy. There's something about his demeanor, his honesty, personal intergrity (and yes, I believe he has lots of it regardless of how he presented himself on the AMA's). I think he's very intelligent and poised, and is just learning about being a "celebrity" instead of a performer.
His recent comments have stated that he was experimenting with his performance and is now realizing he has to focus on the music and take a new look at how he expresses himself ala the performance.

I've actually seen him perform live, and I think he can carry a show by himself. Hope this "learning curve" is past, and he goes on to record great stuff. I'm sorta hooked...
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Adam Lambert American Music Awards
Posted: 11/30/2009 10:47:38 AM
Beg to differ Validar.

Regardless of his AMA performance, and whichever side one falls on as to whether it was appropriate or not, Lambert is one of the best voices of all time. I've viewed his video when he played Joshua in The Ten Commandments, when he sang in Hebrew for an Israeli memorial, when he rocked out with Queen, how he goes from beautiful ballads to a powerful rocker...and his range IS incredible. He can mesmerize with Mad World...or rock Led Zep...

In the words of Slash...he's got some pipes.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Adam Lambert American Music Awards
Posted: 11/27/2009 10:32:39 AM
Message 8

And Madonna created such controversy with her sexual/religious enactments that the Pope told fans not to attend her concerts; she went on to become more popular than ever. Double standard? With that said...I don't think any of them, male or female, should be simulating oral sex on network TV...just a tad too over the top, especially if kids are watching. And did you ever see The Pussycat Dolls...it's like watching a strip show! So, I don't think we should be bashing Adam...they're all doing it. Wrong or right, it's out there.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Adam Lambert American Music Awards
Posted: 11/26/2009 8:31:37 AM
I think after the initial reaction and ABC canceling his appearance, the offers may start to pour in. Appeared on Letterman last nite; did a 180 and sang a completely different type song with a totally different vibe. Great performance.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Adam Lambert American Music Awards
Posted: 11/25/2009 3:48:50 PM
I still say he's an amazing singer with incredible range, incredible looks, and an amazing talent...totally works the stage. Wasn't thrilled with his performance on the AMAs because I just don't think it was him at his best.

And, while I was a bit taken aback at how sexually blatant it was, I've seen his "before Idol" videos which made his AMA performance calm by comparison. I just didn't think he was going to showcase that side of his music in this venue.

Still, as surprised as I was...there is no disputing the fact that TV is sensationalism at its best. We show violence...real violence ala terrorists decapitating people, robberies caught on video tape where people are gunned down, cops throwing civilians against walls, through windows and beating them...we watch videos with whips and chains and S&M and girl on girl and males dressed as pimps in rap videos...

So...why Adam. It's not about two wrongs don't make a right; its the way our media is today...either we're blatant, or we're not.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Adam Lambert American Music Awards
Posted: 11/24/2009 1:50:58 PM
I didn't like his performance that night. At all. Didn't like his look, didn't think he showcased his amazing voice, not so thrilled with the song. It looked like a video from an S&M club. Whips, collars, dragging a dude across the floor, making out with a guy, pulling at a girl's crotch...

I think he was making a statement. "This is who I am, and if straight performers are allowed to be overtly sexual then so can I." He said in the past that he doesn't have a gay agenda, that he doesn't want to be the representative...that he just wants to entertain...yet given his first real chance at a major awards show he came on with his shock value.

With that said I'm still a huge fan because he is everything I thought he was...extremely well-spoken, articulate, intelligent, still has an outstanding voice and is incredibly hot.

But, I'm used to him singing covers...I'm not used to his own music. Don't know if I like his personal music. And maybe I would've liked his performance better if I saw it on cable...on video...I was kinda shocked to see it on a network show. Still, as I already stated, it wasn't just him being overt...and maybe because of the gay factor some people were more outraged...But....Madonna's notorious for using whips and chains...brought religious figures into her stuff...made out with Britney on TV, dressed like a dominatrix...had a scandalous book about sex years ago..all the rappers and their "booty call" chicks in the background...it's always there...and Adam is taking the fall.

So, though it wasn't, in my opinion, a great performance, nor did it showcase his incredible voice...I do think he's being unfairly criticized...the whole show was erotic and suggestive! (Good save though when he fell UP the stairs and tried to incorporate it into the choreography! Too funny...)
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Adam Lambert American Music Awards
Posted: 11/24/2009 12:12:45 PM
So, did any of you see Adam's performance on the AMA awards? ABC has since received over 1500 complaints, and his Good Morning America interview has been canceled.

Did you like his performance? Do you think he went too far? Is he being unduly singled out because it was "too gay" for network TV?"

Madonna and Britney locked lips, Chris Brown physically abused Rihanna, lots of hip/hop music with women looking like hookers...there are so many overtly sexual performances...MTV is like a porn station! LOL. Do you think Adam is being unfairly singled out. Or, do you think it was a calculated publicity stunt that will benefit him in the end.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Religion
Posted: 11/15/2009 3:26:28 PM
message 27:
"...people can convert to Judaism?" It isn't logical. They're not changing their DNA..."

Jesus was Jewish. So what happened to all the people who followed him, and called themselves a different faith. So, are you biologically tied to Jesus? No. The Jews are. He didn't change his DNA...he didn't even change his religion. He never gave up Judaism. So....does that make all his followers converts? Different DNA?

Judaism is, as mentioned above, a religion and a culture. You can be of the culture but not practice the religion, just as you may be born into any religion but not practice it. But, just like Italian, Greek, German, Irish...all with cultural traditions...there are traditions (types of food, holiday, shared history) in the Jewish culture, which may differ depending on whether one is Ashkenazie (European origin) or Sephardic (Spanish, Middle Eastern).
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Looking For Some Real Honest Answers Here
Posted: 11/14/2009 6:17:13 AM
You have GOT to be kidding!

Your quote: "Third, I cannot emphasize enough that it was drilled into my head how important family was. With over 100 of them, and many of them retired, not a single one stepped up to lend a hand to Mom. Now why is that???? DUHHHHH. Because they have their own lives to lead!!!!!!!! This girl's sister was her caretaker because Mom lived in the house with her. Mom needed managed care. Mom had lots of money. So, she goes to assisted care. End of story. Nope. This woman leaves the relationship, goes to Mom, and moves in with her in her sister's house. Family is family and she had many, many choices."


You lost any sympathy from me once I read that completely devoid of emotion (other than hostility and resentment) uncaring statement. OH...and hint...if her mom lived with her sister who was her caretaker...then another sibling...her sister!!!..."lent a hand and stepped in."

It was her MOTHER!!! It shouldn't matter if she were an only child or if she were one of twenty! Her mother, as you so empathetically (see sarcasm) expressed..."was on her last leg." She DIED!
It's not about whether her mom or your ex had "other choices." Your ex knew this would be the last days with her mom, and wanted to spend time with her.
"She goes to assisted care. End of story..." NO! Not "end" of story, just different location. If she wanted to sit by her side, that's her business, her life, her mom.

Perhaps you don't understand love...for a parent.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 66 (view)
 
Do you ever think about how much time you have left?
Posted: 11/10/2009 9:35:48 AM
OP...
Great post. it's a shame its seems to be almost completely misinterpreted...

Agree with you completely; people cut and bail for ridiculous reasons...something they should be over by the time they reach "emotional" maturity. And yes, there are people looking to find a long-term, committed relationship, find one, and then leave it because they think there's someone better...or the infatuation is gone, or they bicker once every two weeks...they can find a myriad of reasons why the relationship is no longer working. And so they go to the next, and the next, and the next...searching for the "fantasy"...where reality doesn't intrude...to the end of their days.

By the way, Liliana (message 67)...great post. Think you got the OP spot on; agree with you too.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Are disproportionate age ranges requirements a red flag?
Posted: 11/9/2009 3:12:33 PM
What I notice is that a lot of guys will go as high as one year younger than them:

44... a woman can't be older than 43

54...a woman can't be older than 53

etc...

Is that the old, "the man should be older" way of thinking? Too funny!
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 18 (view)
 
The Box
Posted: 11/8/2009 5:35:51 PM
The question is so ludicrous to any human being who values human life that it's beyond comprehension. It wouldn't matter if it was someone I loved or just some stranger; what normal human being would have such a callous disregard for life. It's beyond even comtemplating..

To anyone who thinks they could/would...what's the difference between that and just pulling the trigger of a gun and blowing someone away for their money.

Okay, blindfold yourself; then you won't have to see him/her.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Waiting for the Other Shoe to Drop
Posted: 11/5/2009 7:13:54 AM
Zephyr:

Ohhhhhhhhh.... He sounds...NOT SO GOOD!

It sounds like you might want people to tell you to stay, like you're looking for a reason to stay...like you want people to tell you the things he said/does isn't that bad. They are.

There is one exception in my opinion. Mentioning his deceased wife, as you say, "by name." I see nothing wrong with that unless for some reason he brings her up to compare you or make you feel insecure. She has passed, and was someone presumably he loved. Is he bringing her up to share a memory with you, relate a story, or shut you out? Only you can answer that.

The rest?
It seems from your profile that you have found it difficult to meet men that you feel are your intellectual equal. You want someone you can relate to, have a meaningful rapport with, who "gets you."

Perhaps he has these qualities; add lust and you're hooked!

But...you have to stand back. All that would be great if it were coupled with a loving, nurturing, supportive partner who was your best friend. Who has your back. Who doesn't slap down $5.00 with resentment and anger but instead offers it without anything but love and perhaps says "forget about it" when you offer to pay him back. Not someone you feel a need to repay immediately.

Ripped up your mail because it was addressed to your ex? Flew into a rage? Does that sound intelligent, rational, calm...someone you can really communicate with? On a dating site because you had a fight?

Ultimately I would hope you want someone you can lean on, someone with whom you feel so close in your intellectual, emotional bond that you feel secure, cherished and confident, knowing you can come to this person with anything, share whatever you hope to share, and who will be your biggest supporter through wonderful and difficult times.

Don't let attraction blind you.

 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 25 (view)
 
The New Jewish Lobby
Posted: 11/4/2009 9:07:45 AM
itechman63...

intelligent, fair post.

as for some other posters, try to stick on topic. this post isn't about your negative, anti-Israel feelings which you repeat, cut and paste on every similar thread.

It's about a group the OP has brought up.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 19 (view)
 
The New Jewish Lobby
Posted: 11/3/2009 1:05:41 PM
what I think interesting is that the same posters continually feel a need to post threads on Israel and Jewish people, analyze, dissect and give their "expert" opinions. Usually to the negative. As said, it's the same posters most of the time. The OP even managed to capsulize past threads that were closed, perhaps to subliminally reinstate some previous opinions expressed on those closed threads. As someone pointed out on another thread...being objective or having an opinion is one thing...being obsessed is another. That's where one crosses the line between objective interest or concern for a situation...and bias or perceived anti-semitism.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Confused & upset - Why do men do this?
Posted: 11/2/2009 9:47:58 AM
Hi OP...

You said you guys made a "tentative date..." but you called him the next night after your first date. Even though he expressed a lot of interest (by your account he asked twice if you wanted to see him again/when can he see you again), it might be that he is someone who likes his ego fed, but at the same time likes the chase...Could be he got scared off when you called him, and so soon after your marathon meet!

Don't call him again and see if he calls you. If not, you haven't lost anything because as much fun/connection you had it ultimately didn't pan out, nor did he have the maturity to get back to you. On the other hand, he might yet call if you give him space.

Best...
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 10 (view)
 
The New Jewish Lobby
Posted: 10/29/2009 3:17:40 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^^

"Not ALWAYS... just USUALLY..."

that's one poster's opinion, and those that share it. Then there's mine, and those who share it. People will continue to assess and debate the situation, as they should, without bias, instead of calling one side "evil" as his been declared in many a statement.

There already are, in existence, groups of Israelis and Palestinians who have been working together for peace, who haven't resorted to the name-calling that has been written/discussed/read. THOSE groups work toward peace...not "spectators" on boards who resort to one-sided propaganda. And if this new organization can work toward that as well while keeping the Jewish state safe, more power to em.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 4 (view)
 
The New Jewish Lobby
Posted: 10/28/2009 2:14:39 PM
^^^^^^^^^^^^
seems to me that to some, regardless of what happens the Arabs are right and Israel is always wrong.
 kuddlekitty
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Emotionally Unavailable = Scared
Posted: 10/2/2009 4:22:39 PM
Landra: Message 2:
Great site! The woman who runs it is one of the most insightful people I have ever read!
 
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