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 Author Thread: a place for us novices...
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 805 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 7/14/2014 9:58:39 PM
I float in and out of the fog effortlessly
nary one whit of a whisper of intention
having done so for mostly my entire life

Resurfacing, navigating in and out of different cognitive abilities
With love, acceptance, understanding of precious few
and judgement, stupidity and ignorance of far many more

Ever shuffling, resettling, readjusting, I breathe in deeply now
the various facets of my mnemonic memory
imprinted forever unto pictures deep within my heart

I no longer view myself as I did for too many wasted years
as deficient, as mentally ill. Nor even unstable
For they are not organic, my experiences were environmental,
and they were real though they did not originate in my id,
nor my understanding, but
in all the many levels of extreme abuse I endured

I am safe now
And I am busy, with this business of healing
and learning to love myself in all stages
as I'd never before been taught

Love was, indeed, a battlefield
Fought unwillingly, and perhaps sometimes even unwittingly
as I never quite understood all the ever changing rules
Oh but the mines are buried deeply in my subconscious
trying to protect me from my own memories;
they appear, dangerously, without warning
just as they also fade and move to the distance
only to reappear again, revisit again
without prompting nor invitation

Though I may be more than merely complex
I am just me, afterall
I accept no labels assigned to me by others
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 395 (view)
Awaken foolish minds
Posted: 9/21/2010 5:42:35 PM
Thank you dear.
Forgive me for taking leave
and in the process
taking leave of my manners too
it seems?

I do hope you've stopped hiding
and you had a most lovely summer
for winter, she is coming again
swiftly or not yet remains to be seen
or felt
or shared
I hope, too
that you
aren't any longer
hiding your heart
for I remember it shining
as a beacon to and for so many others
And I hope it shines just as brightly
as I recall
A heart, especially one as big as yours
ought not be hidden from anyone
nor anything
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 803 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 9/21/2010 5:33:13 PM
Having returned to this thread so very long ago begun... And but, what do I find, what do I see, but a smattering, offerings, a handful of beauties are left upon these pages. For this, I thank you, Shudden, for your lovely words and thoughts left herein.

I feel lesser than the world
Like a set of virgin eyes upon a painting.
The golden compass,
and the brilliant lights that twinkle,
they tinker with my baby mind.
Upon the threshold, between the seams
and below the surface exists
more than I'll ever come to know.
I don't hold enough existence
to watch the sun set enough times
and be able to tell the difference between wrong and right.

(The last line is bugging me, I wanted to end it somehow, but that's just not... "right." It ruins it, but any fix that I've attempted so far has ended up wrecking the whole thing even further.)

Ahh, even though SoundsWavesMake is apprently gone, or has taken another name... If I may... SWM, I love your lines, and perchance, the following ending lines make sense?

I don't hold enough existence
to watch the sun set enough times
and be able to tell the difference
between wrong

and night.

As in, you've seen the sun set a plethora of times, yet...
Never too many times? And never have experienced too many or even, enough, nights?!

And, btw, i adored "1 poem" and thank you for leaving it here!

Dear, dear AD, I am so glad we are still in touch, and promise to soon get back to the reality of what I must do, stopping the silly games and getting back to the meat of what my soul cries out it must again begin...

And oh, Thorbie, I am so saddened to see you've left this place, but thank you for your friendship here for the years we shared the forums, and bid you nothing but the very best wherever you are.
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 802 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/5/2009 9:35:50 PM
ohh so far back
this fray of memories
damn when i drink any red
even a merlot...
and no folks
i caught no such
essence of chocolate
as the vino assured on it's label

but...13 years worlds away
ahh yes that long ago reverie
springs up suddenly

how strange
ahh yes brings to mind
life is so strange
missing persons
Hawaii, circa early 80s
enough unencypted information

Life is so strange
When you don't know
How can you tell
Where you're going to?
You can't be sure of any situation
something could change
and then you won't know

Where do we go from here?
It seems so all too near
Just as far beyond as i can see
I still don't know what this all means to me

I don't know where to go
I don't know what to do
And i don't even know the time of day
I guess it doesn't matter anyway

life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don't know
your destination
Something could change
It's unknown
and then you won't know
Destination Unknown

When will my time come?
Has it all been said and done?
I know i'll leave when it's my time to go
Til then i'll carry on with what i know

life is so strange
Destination unknown
When you don't know
your destination
Something could change
It's unknown
and then you won't know
Destination Unknown
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange
Life is so strange

mmmmhmmm life IS so strange
and no...
missing persons didn't play
at club lollipop; in waikiki
for that is an entirely
different story my friends...
but then again
so is berlin, and yes, dear terri n
and so, for that matter
is the regeneration tour...
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 3068 (view)
Haiku Connection - This is It !
Posted: 12/5/2009 9:08:04 PM
lost in an image
doubt as far as we may feel
knowledge is the key

messages this short may not be posted my arse jeeeeepers hiya people
what's up with the message not letting me post?!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 393 (view)
Awaken foolish minds
Posted: 12/3/2009 11:40:55 PM
Ah, but the havoc we wreak
The self we squander
the waste we create
all in the name
for and of
chasing spent dreams

How long can a living, breathing,
wanting creature
live with endless passion

Empty, bereft and flailing
Tired, so tired
of failing
Losing one's job
Losing self in the process
sucks much much more

I'm finding out this hard fact
even yet a more difficult task
each time I catch my visage
in any mirror

It seems as if I have
Verily, literally forgotten
How or whom, to pray

This is not good
Mon cheries
especially when finding
ones self without foundation
without hunger even
or thirst
or empathy, usually
strengths unwavering in storms

How long will it be comforting
to lick wounds
to regress
to confess
to feel caught in rewind
to be uncharacteristically apathetic
to have become so ugly, inhumane

methinks I must quickly
find my own knees
for my breath floats swirling
visibile cooling and coiling in night's air
Yes, winter, she is coming
this we all know and feel
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 143 (view)
what good or bad food do you remember from childhood?
Posted: 9/26/2009 7:52:38 PM
who here knows how to make policintas?
or spaetzle, correctly; i must be doing something wrong!
and it's been ages since i made stuffed cabbage, anyone willing to share their recipes for the above would be greatly appreciated because cooler weather is around the corner and i'm looking to make some cozyish food soon.
thanks for your suggestions, hope this finds everyone healthy and doing well.
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 1059 (view)
Haiku Connection - This is It !
Posted: 9/23/2009 3:42:29 PM
imagine my surprise
when i log on to see YOU
a long ago friend, again!

*dang it, "messages this short cannot be posted"; huumpph*
"messages this short cannot be posted"
"messages this short cannot be posted"
"messages this short cannot be posted"
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 390 (view)
barest boldest deepest daring lines of love
Posted: 6/9/2009 7:57:37 AM
thanks jer, but the lines above in quotes are from the aforementioned STAIND.

sometimes personal inventory is a hard thing to look at
the most bitter of pills to swallow
easier for many to rather choose to be shallow
easier still for others into themselves to wallow

minutes hours days weeks months years pass
trying to navigate with little girl tears
peeking backwards at all the coulda shoulda wouldas

presently in the discomfort of my own skin
and the layers that make up an onion such as myself
not in anyway shape or form to be confused with sin
unpeeling to the vulnerability of core
deciphering which seeds to toss to the wind
for some trash and much negativity must be left behind
or the fragmented skewed assumptions, perceptions or illusions may afterall
floating as mere bits of translucent dust in sun's rays
get in the way of karma herself, or something truly beautiful
those mites contained therein are the true viscious vermin
undetectable to our human eyes but there all just the same
under and in the surface, in everything although unseen

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 388 (view)
barest boldest deepest daring lines of love
Posted: 6/5/2009 12:32:25 PM
thank you ads for leaving your lines, sorry to see you yourself have now left too.
not much time, but feeling strangely strange...
and STAIND just echoes in my soul right now.
lots going on mon amis, how many times can i get away with saying i need to get back in these pages?! hoping all is well with each of you.

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you

And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As ****ed up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well

And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and ****ed things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As ****ed up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and ****ed things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry

And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candles light your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As ****ed up as it all may seem to be, I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 386 (view)
barest boldest deepest daring lines of love
Posted: 5/27/2009 5:27:59 PM
gretchen indeed you are correct
even if you have since left
i simply thank you
for gracing us with yourself
and your lines herein
thank you too, harsh
for "getting it"
for understanding
for being you
hbird thank you too
beautiful imagery
for a darkened feeling heart
thankfully tomorrow
i can choose another way
but today i wonder
look at all the pretty flowers
you can sit and watch for hours
when you reach to pick one
take care it's thorns
won't slice too deeply
be careful what you wish for
but don't let fears devour your dreams
you certainly don't need my approval
or apparently much of anything else...
remember frankie's simple advice

relax don't do it...
But shoot it in the right direction
Make making it your intention, ooh yeah
Live those dreams
Scheme those schemes

remember U
the world is your oyster
yesterday today and tomorrow too
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 791 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 4/30/2009 1:40:58 PM
thank you Autumn Fantasy, and yes; thank you Hummingbird Dancing too
promising here, to be back soon; i have to i want to i need to
and funny this: messages this short may not be posted

I rarely see anything informing me i am too short...
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 788 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 4/23/2009 9:32:25 PM
ad, dear dear ad~
where to begin?
firstly, with thanks
for you, always to me so kind
i am still here
but tired feeling
a shell of my former self
yet faintest traces still exist of me

been so long!
but i've been to Canaan
and i wanna go back again

(just like carole king did, all those years ago)

i know i speak in circles
and whirl inside them too
not everyone really quite "gets me"
you ad, are one of the few who do
(and accepts me as i am; too~ thank you)

right now, this minute
i'm back to say
i really will return soonest
perhaps this weekend
this beautiful spinning orb
will somehow some way
allow me unto it's graces
and once again gravity will
keep me from free falling
in and out of oddly shaped spaces
till once again i feel
sure footed upon terra firma
stronger again too
as surely as whispers deep inside my heart
tell me this is indeed so
perhaps then my mind will quiet itself once more
and rest will be, well... restful

oh, and ad?
forget the fancy china
forgo hours spent on epicurean delicacies
tonight i'd be happiest
with a good stout
or a smooth buttery merlot
either is fine; shared with a friend
even if drank from a simple paper cup

thanking you for keeping the thread alive
while we here, on this side of the planet
within this hot and arid desert
have been dealing with the pain of loss
and getting back, however slowly
with our own business of living
and finding our own ways

Pops passed from the earth last month
after a year long illness
so last weekend we journeyed
taking him back to his home, his friends
his church and the place of his birth 88 years ago
together, those of us who loved him
went about celebrating his experiences in life
and his amazing depths of love
our own love and respect of and for him
at the most beautiful Memorial service
i have ever had the grace to experience
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
Posted: 12/6/2008 10:16:15 AM
ok i couldn't post to the thread as 3 out of the last whatever the number is...
even as recently as a few months ago, so firstly, a thanks winebuddy, long overdue!

so, in my estimation, not solely one continent or nation is guilty of overuse and abuse. and yes, everyone "should" or "ought" to be more conscientious and aware, but then again...i really dislike "should" or "ought" words for their seemingly order sounding stance. and participation is a much better word than "responsibility", too.

wondering who else feels their environmental concientious needs, and if so, what changes have you made?
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 3647 (view)
Posted: 12/3/2008 12:23:31 PM
take a deep breath and don't pout
try not to screw up your face, stomp your foot or shout
like i did this morning at an inspector; one who just
seemingly manages to go right against my very last grain

making matters worse he repeated himself over and over to no possible gain
it only had me becoming agitated and getting louder and bolder till his boss
quietly came over assuring me he'd take care of him
somehow i know he will but it had to be finally in front of so many men
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 142 (view)
what good or bad food do you remember from childhood?
Posted: 12/2/2008 6:28:02 PM
ok so tonight i made chicken paprikas and since i couldn't remember how to properly make spaetzle instead i opted for a cross between potato dumplings and the better tasting, better textured spaetzle. no traditional cucumber salad nor thick slices (read slabs) of french bread cut on the diagonal, but smooth whole grain white sara lee bread and butter. so just paprikas, dumplingspaetzle, bread n butter and well... some peas dabbed with butter, salt n pepper. i wasn't happy with the faux dumplings at all.

anyone out here have a foolproof spaetzle recipe? one that you've actually used and is tried and true? what do you prefer, dumplings or spaetzle, and why; please?

nowhere near as sweet and smokey as my mom's. but a sort of smallish tribute to her to kick off the holiday season. now, who else recently made something they recall (even IF incorrectly,) from their childhood?
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 382 (view)
barest boldest deepest daring lines of love
Posted: 12/2/2008 1:32:20 PM
why not paint my lips with yours
why not kiss my eyelids with
well, not your lips
use my imagination...

the world IS a vampire
i agree with the lines
more often than not
especially in trying times

if i am the kettle
and i call myself black
am i not black
even if i may seem
obviously purple
to you?!

barest boldest deepest daring lines
of love? huh?! forgive me
for not leaving lines for so long
even weeak ones such as these
how frikken long ago did this thread begin?
dang long time ago

no one cares
no one remembers
ashes to ashes
dust to dust
if i don't soon get back to it
surely i shall spontaneously combust...
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 3542 (view)
Contemplate Straight 8 LINE Bonanza STANZAS
Posted: 11/6/2008 12:31:40 PM
be open to the fun that can let a love be unfurled
without strings or headgames or any other such things
well okay perhaps different sort of games; playful and harmless kind
not the variety that reminds you of parasites eating minds

just relax now... laugh, joke, tease and play just don't take everything so harsh today
play music you like, forget your troubles a while making room instead for a smile
unwind your mind relax your body allowing all tensions to effortlessly just melt away
instead find and/or make happen sensations that lead you to another place
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 786 (view)
a place for us novices
Posted: 11/6/2008 7:53:44 AM
as always, love and thanks to you, AD. been too busy to be on much as of late, but it's nice knowing when i DO visit, friendly kindred hearts and words jump into my heart and mind, from oh so far away physically.

matters not, the distance, for tis a stronger thing capacity to love...

having missed a chance yesterday to post in first line, last line (part deaux)
in response to post 3654 left therein at 1150
but off the cuff had come up with the following few lines
thought i'd leave it here in a thread i began oh so long ago
just seemed apropos

although not as suggested by fight nor strongest might
or even velocity of the sheer g force of my mind
(or ego for that matter, not meaning to be unkind)
but mon amis i think if you please
to choose my own route and try not to pout
without tickling my knees nor making you sneeze
but rather instead simply using my good heart and head
easier path of trajectory even if solely olfactorily...
but oh just now for you and for the sake of the art
of leaving you a good line with with to start

more later mon amis, i do *hope* this finds everyone healthy, well and doing fine.
flying out tomorrow am to tend to some personal family matters...
missing reading, writing, bantering and sharing with you!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 3501 (view)
Posted: 10/22/2008 12:21:51 PM
quickly shelters and guides them away from the brink n I lost my place here pages ago
everyone calls out to watch for the dung now songs may be over before having been sung
tucked within folds & whispers hearts; suscpicions confirming beliefs show who're the ones
oh do remember, all of you; please~ the best of all our days, laughter and all the fun

now looking backwards seems all along we've just been kept along on the run
truth might be solely virtual or perhaps realistically no war shall ever be honestly won
as blackened space displaces what we once felt upon our faces, thinking of as our sun
understanding as time rewinds thus taking our bodies & minds ever back to square one
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 3340 (view)
Posted: 9/15/2008 3:39:20 PM
doesn't really matter when it's only a trend
just another ho hum kind of fashion in an ala mode if you will... or moda sort of way
never ever was my custom or intention; nor a good way to end a succession of any days
each passes more quickly now it's edifying to be real and true and thus remain

ah passed misery of focused failings flailing, now drowning in the wake
second and sometimes even third thoughts swirled together
those unintentioned memories tasting exactly like deja vu
which reminded me sharply today, of you
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 795 (view)
Shelter me...home
Posted: 9/10/2008 10:18:06 AM
somehow methinks the journey was declared
long before our conceptions had fared
long before sailors were sailing the seas
long even before cavemen grunted on their knees
as humans do what we do do do
or will always do as always been done
da da da

really, the only time i've seen that change
is in one of two very divergent ways
it's either seemed
like awful lots of hard work
sweat and toil, attention to detail
or tinkerbell lightening fast
just like that
snap of the fingers quick
just done, viola!

but then
what of the dead, walking upright
the automaton nonthinkers
zombie machine cyberborg units
running on the fuel of society's ways
or perhaps bound by trends y moda
not forging their own way
the sheep themselves may have it easier
they only have to eat, procreate, and be shorn
hey come to think of it; i know lots of folks like that
the anguish and evil humans are capable of!

this course we're charted upon
perhaps yes, though so far away
we have hearts that are human
so kindred i can only hope we'll stay

the sameness in you... is one i feel in me
makes us somehow know one another
from the beginning more than easily
we recognised in one another
a human soul firstly via words
without nation, color or creed
we're simply complex women with needs
or are we complex women
with simple needs?!

not that it matters
because you are you
and i am me
together as friends
making us now a we

i believe
we were meant to cross courses
to make navigating the waters
that much simpler, easier
and fulfilling too
even though our exchanges
are more infrequent, still~
a friend in you Dear...
a very good thing to have

needed to pop in Sweets
thinking of you fondly
for health wellness and happiness
for you and yours
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 784 (view)
a place for us novices
Posted: 8/30/2008 11:36:51 PM
ecco domani pinot grigio
grilled rib eye
fresh sweet corn on the cob
with far too much butter
tri colored rigatoni pasta seafood salad with
le suer peas
black olives
dijon mustard
and half a baked tato
yes with sour cream
AND butter
and yes more pinot grigio
you opened the bottle
but don't bother
i'll refill our glasses
as we play cranium
and laugh
and of course
we win
even if neither of us eat
the lemon cake i baked
this afternoon
with real buttercream
and lime juice with coconut icing
someone did
and liked it just fine
now my mind won't quiet itself
must be the pepsi, eh

what's runnin round in me head
'sides the memories
over and over and over again?

two songs come to mind
from a far away time

Entertain me by Soft Cell

Trying to please
All these people around me
Is trying to reach for the moon
The Moon!
I see their faces looking so empty saying
I hope that they'll finish soon
So Soon...
Could be a chat show
Yap Yap Yap
Could be a go go
Reaction would be the same
The Same!
So here I go
Though why I don't know
Trying to prove myself again

Entertain me
I'm as blank as can be
And I've seen it before
And I've done it before
And I think that I like it
But no I don't like it
It just goes on over and over
And over and over and over again

I try to give them all of my best
And it's taking a turn for the worst
Oh No
Things going wrong
Start to sing the wrong song
I think that we must be cursed
You Betcha
Playing the wrong tune
Hitting the wrong note
This is where my nerves become frayed
It's falling apart
Why did we ever start
And do you think we'll be paid
No No

Entertain me
I'm as blank as can be
And I've seen it before
And I've done it before
And I think that I like it
But no I don't like it
It just goes on over and over
And over and over and over again

Over and over again
Build 'em up, knock 'em down
Build 'em up, knock 'em down
Build 'em up, knock 'em down
Build 'em up, knock 'em down

I see a movement
Down in the front row
Maybe it's just a mistake
She's smiling at me
But he's frowning at me
Which conclusion
Do I make
Fold all your arms
And look straight ahead
At this puppet on a string
You're feeling confused
But you've made a decision
You don't like anything

Entertain me
I'm as blank as can be
And I've seen it before
And I've done it before
And I think that I like it
But no I don't like it
It just goes on over and over
And over and over and over again

Build 'em up, knock em down
Build 'em up, knock em down
Build 'em up, knock em down
Build 'em up, knock em down

Entertain me
I'm as blank as can be
And I've seen it before
And I've done it before
And I think that I like it
But no I don't like it
It just goes on over and over
And over and over and over again

and too~
Chips on my shoulder by Soft Cell

Chips on my shoulder
More as I grow older
Feel I owe a debt
For the things I don't get
I only miss out
Well I was there before...
I sit in a corner
Sit on the floor

Self Pity
Chips on my shoulder
There's no time for fun time
It's sit and complain time
I'll talk about famine
While cooking the dinner
Don't you feel guilty
Don't you feel pity
While my head gets fatter
And the starving get thinner

I should have told her
I've chips on my shoulder
I'm making a stand
While I sit on my arse
Fish and chip supper
While those in the gutter
Can't have a good time
Fun's just a farse
Self Pity
Chips on my shoulder
Chips on my shoulder

indeed summer's end is nigh
and on and on the irony belies
hurricane down south east way
about to hard blow it's way in
as we here in this arid desert
go another day
in this drought
times are strange
things so uncertain
are they not?

well as we well know
they aren't so
very strange
no so very uncertain
are they?!

someone please
do tell me the truth
her truth
his truth
ok then
your truth
because the truth
cannot lie
bitter pill to swallow perhaps
not better tasting even, perhaps
but at least it's better than
living lies

because really
it's almost easier
to believe
or realize
or just simply wake up
this naive sleepy head
than to live a dream
that's not real
or just fantasy
for me, never one to believe
candy colored dreams
easier though it may be
for me
to shed
candy colored lenses
and face the uncomfortable
bright light of truth

or maybe just maybe
it's just my mind
just over cluttered
once again
Dear Lord
give me strength
i find myself begging
once more
familiar refrains
crashing round again
in a sort of
silent sound

i believe that's
what's it's called
thankfully it ain't voices i'm hearing
and i don't think need my brain warshed
by that ole comic
whom was drawn by gary panter
and published by matt groening
long ago
and far away

but hey
does anybody ever
really know what
i'm gibbering on about
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
The Memorial Day thread - sans politics, and with respect
Posted: 5/26/2008 10:22:26 AM
previously posted in the poetry forum "written from the edge", thought it appropos herein, though humble it may be. my thanks again mg, anew this year for your having begun this thread of honor, rememberance and respect for those who have given all and others who continue to sacrifice their very lives. many of us will never comprehend at what true cost the courageous price of freedom comes.

today i remember, honor, respect and salute you,
yes you; brave man, brave woman, too ~ for
some things cannot ever be explained
some things have no words with which to convey
what eyes might have witnessed
what hearts may have felt
what life and breath itself
might mean

but some things can be understood
some things need no words to explain
what eyes might have witnessed
what hearts may have felt
what life and breath itself
might mean

intangibles or tangibles
sometimes matters not in any whit of words
oftentimes matters not even the merest of an iota
as any real and true measure of wealth
whether of spirit
or of monetary means
as deeply and as much as more often
felt in heart
or known in mind
as in passion
or belief

a smile
a hug
a kiss
a tug
and yes
a hearty and grateful
warm welcome home
whether to continue your life
or be buried swathed in tears
for your ultimate contributions
we each of us has or had
both dreams and memories

a sincere and grateful thank you
for all you have done
for all you have seen
for all you have witnessed
for all you have endured
for all that you have sacrificied
that so many could never begin to
nor will ever fully comprehend
i sincerely thank you
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 725 (view)
Shelter Me...HOME
Posted: 5/22/2008 8:13:20 AM
it's been too long since a visit has been paid
but your lines bring me from overwhelmed self
to find a place herein this always loving home
feeling and hearing the reverberating prescence
a fluttering of a hundred thousand angel's wings
i had to light here for a brief smile and a hug
as much to give as to take, without apology

for it is a spirit and heart such as yours
full and veritably brilliantly shining
so brightly i can see you as a beacon
from far shores and through desert dust
could never ever be too old for games
for your eyes and mind see all sides of the facets
as a child full of mirth, yet with wisdom of this earth

how amazing can this be
for two souls so far away
to understand one another
with such clarity and so implicently?!

though you many indeed have washed His feet
annointing them with scented oil
something to flawless to behold
is your perfect loyalty
like a fine and perfectly cut diamond
you as only you can be; uniquely yourself to me
no matter your mood or inclination
your thoughts gleam as summons
of prayer and higher invocation
may your dreams fly as high in skies
namaste mon ami
may your beautiful soul soar high today
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 381 (view)
barest boldest deepest daring lines of love
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:36:06 PM
thanks to all for posting, i haven't been on much at all, busy lately
life for the past few months leaves not much time to log on, much less read or write
we've had a medical emergency going on since march
a fire, and now my guy's on crutches in excruciating pain
i've not always feeling well or awake enough to post
but as i am me, back here i am with this one
it just came out easily this morning as i sat down
i hope this finds everyone doing well and enjoying the beautiful weather
themselves, each other, and all the beauty life holds for us in life
sometimes we have to be content with the snippets of happiness as they occur
for even in not so nice things can come beauty and learning and needed lessons

he came out in march for a visit
having planned to stay a week
then he was headed to wyoming
to a cabin high atop a mountain
he had plans and stayed a busy man

87 years of life not always easy
past double bypass and throat cancer
deterred him not for long
now full of love, stories and quick laughter
easy jokes pouring from his mouth
twinkling eyes so full of life
a natural storyteller he

a veteran and a member of the lion's
active in his church and helping others
hardworking all his life
a former plasterer still working
never mired in muck or stuck in strife
boundless energy and quick thinking
a heart so golden he veritably glows

he'd lost his wife just last october
then he lived alone with his dog ginger
and his wife's taken in stray cat pk
he had a bout of pneumonia last winter
but got stronger once again
but then his sweet dog ginger died too
now that left him and pk just them two

jumping back to his visit here in vegas
the day before he was due to leave
plane tickets carefully in his case
he came down ill, very ill
then sickness took it's place
double pneumonia, asbestosis
c dif bacteria outta control
then as if all that weren't enough
he became diabetic from the steroids
he became so weak he could not walk
it was labor for him to even just talk
oxygen and medicine and vampires
waking him to take his blood
coughs so bad as if to choke him
it was hard for him to take a breath
he struggled bravely on never once mentioning
that ugly word beginning with d
and of course scared, neither did we

this is a very social loving man
that i'm telling you about
he is my guy's dad, a very caring man
when robert was but a mere 3 months old
his mother suddenly died leaving a man with a son
as time went on he taught his son many lessons
he raised him and loved him dearly
you can see the pride held brightly in his eyes
more than several times now
this man's continued strength
while fighting this battle for his life
has brought tears to my mind and heart
i try not to let him see them in my eyes
when i lean over to hug him good bye each night

this past week he was moved yet again
transported medically
to the 5th medical facility
all his life's plans now on hold
so he can relearn how to be himself
one hard step after the other
his will wavers not, nor does he falter
his bravery strength and pureness
have taught me now too

i'm blessed to have met and know this man
it's both an honor and a privilege
to help him in any way
our days and nights now taken up
in very different ways
life is so amazing
tender and soft yet strong
full of lessons for and from the heart
just when you think you round one corner
there's something new ahead
good and bad we constantly shift
and do our best to relearn to balance
take your time to make your time
the best you truly can
lessons learned from one amazing man
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
Posted: 5/18/2008 10:29:54 AM
i'm glad we made plans ahead of time to meet up with actual fish there, because there were so many people and no way of knowing who was who... the hosts, jim and al were absolutely more than gracious, the house and yard beautiful, and the band was great. so much good food and drink, no one could want for anything.

the head's up about parking was appreciated because my guy is on crutches right now, so that took just a bit of navigating for him...

but...that was a "pof" party?! it was a huge bash, sure... maybe i missed something, with so many other groups there, it was hardly an organized pof event. more the merrier and all that, but i saw nothing indicative of plenty of fish whatsoever. this seemed more like a last minute, oh hey, let's invite pof to this other huge gig.

i'm glad mint ice cream posted al and jim's party because it was a nice environ to catch up with my fishie pal, findchris! we had a prime spot in one of the pool cabanas to catch up, eat and drink. we left and ended up right around the corner to attend songstress misty love's birthday party and were blown away with their generosity, energy and some amazing blues.

thanks mic, for what ended up a nice evening, but not anything at all that i'd have called a plenty of fish party...
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 779 (view)
a place for us novices
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:01:34 AM
so mon amis, it's been a while
life has taken many twists and turns
i had to take some much needed time
and revisit to read and think
thank each of you for posting
your thoughts feelings and lines
please feel free to revisit any time
mmmmmy thank you for visiting
and sharing yourself herein
me reading your lines this morning
finally trying to catch a breath
reminding myself to breathe

tossing turning
floating churning
crashing crescendos
desire and frustration
emoting tangled dreams
roller coaster of life
am i drowning or
taking flight

singing and laughing or
screaming silent screams

skies never seem the same
to me
ever changing daily
brilliance of beauty

"nothing ever matters anymore"
you said back at the end of february
i really do hope that feeling
has passed and a strong flame of hope
and the trust in good
has been rekindled in you

we are always alone
we are never alone
the truth is in the digging
the truth is in our eyes
the truth is in our hearts
the truth is in some lies
the truth lives steadfast in our layers
and has been
from the start
the truth is always changing
nothing ever black n white
the world is full of colors
the world itself is alight

it's the human race that wanders
it's our emotions and mental state
that we choose to make or break
stars continue to call out your name
yet our answers are never twice the same
just keep on smiling baby girl
may your heart not be out to sea
but rather, out to see
don't ever get caught up
in that ole blame game
reach up and you will find yourself up
think down and find yourself in muck
defenses that helped some of us survive
no longer needed ought be put far aside
designs i thank you too
for sharing your beautiful day
and yes, evidently some friends are here
this much very much clear
to find we must be brave enough
to continue to seek
i hope all is well with you and yours
and you revisit when you can
you're such a rare kind man
ogm very nice to read your lines
thank you for taking your time
to leave them carefully here
the winter's rose upon a bed of snow
brins to mind now it's late spring
and snow is thawing everywhere
in hearts and minds of everyone

i do heartily agree
let all the bonsai trees
reawaken everyone from sensibilities
and attune instead, opening to possibilites
for in my mind's eyes and heart
those are endless and true opportunities
tailgunner you sir, are welcome any time
our pages are indeed soaked sopping saturated
as life has it's way with us
we do our best to stay afloat
awash in complexity
truth in words can and does exist
may we not be remiss
may we not step on our own tongues
may we not trample on other's hearts
or dreams as we pursue our own desires
the silence of our singular sounds
may one day rise up spreading and washing
unto the night's clarity
reverberating our scent and intensity
rising up as a phoenix
a brilliant flame
believe your soul's insides
for this isn't like
any other sort of game
we have participated in
without shame come forth
remain to yourself true

may the lightening bugs
burst forth from your soul
and light up your skies
for you are correct methinks
you shall indeed live forever
and so shall she
as will he
and perhaps even
maybe, me
scryptkeeper please also feel free
to herein share your truths
but please be clear
there are no
novices of loss here
while i cannot nor will not
speak for others here
please be mindful and very clear
lunch to a handful of vets
ain't what we is about up in here
careful who you try to speak for
somehow i think i just may know
firsthandedly more vets than i might show
i live with one, for example you see
i was married to two at different times
i shared that life and all that encompassed(s) it
and somehow someway i've managed to still be me
without having jumped ship
fear shall not be my badge
but hope instead
and that one i wear maybe
just a bit too proudly

back soon, i promise... we're having a late breakfast, and it's my turn to fry up some eggies to go with that wonderful smelling hot peppered bacon.
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
POF party
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:29:06 AM
adella, so glad to see you getting the local pond moving!

me n my guy will try hard to be there tonight, we've been really slammed busy the past few months. his 87 yr old Pop came out to visit from kansas in march and ended up in the hospital, poor man. he's now in the 5th medical facility since march 25th (yup, 5 medical facilities in less than 2 months) so we've been busy with our jobs and work, back and forth between hospitals and doing our best at keeping his Pop as comfortable as possible, trying our best at juggling just keeping up the house, feeding ourselves, etc etc. a party would be a great way to relax a bit and get out again. i really hope we can make it, and hope too, your shin dig turns into a real success!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 2958 (view)
Posted: 5/15/2008 7:47:54 AM
the rest of the world will be out of touch
like some folks are out on their own typical perpetual lunch
not thinking, not feeling, nor daring to live
dried up has~beens too tired and not caring a whit

so's i guess it's all left up to each of us singularly; i hope you agree
it's no enigmatic riddle to make real differences collectively
it's just simply like minded people who really do care
to take thoughts that step further reality when they dare
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
Women in Las Vegas on here are just on here for free meals and drinjs
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:57:41 PM

Ive encountered quite a few women here in Las Vegas on this site who won't even meet for a lousy cup of coffee because of where I live. I have a feeling they're not on here to sincerely find a relationship, they are amateur hookers on here looking for sucker guys to buy them a few meals and drinks. Sad. Don't reward their bad behavior.
hmm... maybe, just maybe "quite a few women here in las vegas on this site" are smart and quick enough to figure out they don't want to waste your time. or, not want to meet anyone pessimistic who might be perhaps a bitter, glaringly obvious saboteur who just might be advertising themselves as otherwise?!

wouldn't a true "amateur" actually fall for and agree to meet practically anyone for, well... practically anything, even a "lousy cup of coffee?"

or indeed, perhaps herein this city there is a plethora of low lying women who'd play you for whatever you've got to give: money, drugs, blood, sweat, tears, guts; you name it. oh how difficult life is, a balancing tightrope act of sheer will and fortitude, to even entertain the idea of just trying to meet over a lousy cup of joe...

while i grew up here but had the opportunity to travel and live in many different places, my experiences have taught me that my thoughts create my attitude, and that is my own cross or joy to bear. still with me, or have you skimmed and decided this is a rant, or maybe you've decided to take a little nap and get back to this later? maybe. anyway, see i think it's sort of like this: we each create our own reality. ya dig? only i can change the way i see or view something as negative to potentially make a positive to grow from. or not, because we have this cool thing best described as free will and this huge thing of the responsibility to ourselves, firstly... that's a really good way to not have to go around blaming others for our own thoughts, feelings and fears.

i have to wonder: is the glass half empty, is the glass half full, or is there another way to hold the beverage itself?

why resort to negative focus, thinking so many women here are amateur hookers? i just can't bring myself to think most all people are bad, no matter what their gender, race, etc is. life is hard enough, so i figure it makes sense to just refuse to believe in the common man/woman "game" so many adhere to. what will be will be; it is what it is, people are people; good, bad, and everything in between, so taking the time to recognize the good is just time better spent ya know?

if i wanna be a cheeky monkey by flinging poo, i have to be responsible and at least somewhat reasonable by realizing i just may end up to appear to be a lil stinky myself, eh?

or assuming you have all the fingers on your dominant hand... if you wanna point your finger, don't you at some point come to the realization that you have at least three others pointing right back at yourself?
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
famous people on pof
Posted: 4/17/2008 12:30:24 PM
why, i wouldn't be at all surprised if indeed there are more than a handful of "famous" people here in pofland. and why wouldn't there be, considering the convenience, anonymity, and other factors that draw anyone, just look at the content of writing and numerous exchanges taking place on such an easy to understand and use, format?! stranger things have happened, certainly.

where's winky?
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
Posted: 3/16/2008 11:59:19 AM
please share some of your favorite easter meals, plans and/or memories, it's almost here and i'd like to hear of other's experiences, traditions and stories. we'll be cooking for 6, and my guy's dad is coming in from kansas so i'd like to have something special but not too unusual and still have time to visit with grampa, Rob's two sons and one of the boy's fiances, so i don't want to be in the kitchen all day like we were @ Christmas.
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 2 (view)
Written from the edge
Posted: 3/12/2008 12:40:20 PM
nice to see you made it back, home and to PoF, gs; and nice to see your lines again.

some things cannot ever be explained
some things have no words with which to convey
what eyes might have witnessed
what hearts may have felt
what life and breath itself
might mean

but some things can be understood
some things need no words to explain
what eyes might have witnessed
what hearts may have felt
what life and breath itself
might mean

intangibles or tangibles
sometimes matters not in a whit in any words
oftentimes matters not even the merest of an iota
as any real and true measure of wealth
whether of spirit
or of monetary means
as deeply and as much as more often
felt in heart
or known in mind
as in passion
or belief

a smile
a hug
a kiss
and yes
a warm welcome home

a sincere and grateful thank you
for all you have done
for all you have seen
for all you have witnessed
for all you have endured
for all that you have sacrificied
that so many could never begin to
nor will ever fully comprehend
i thank you
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 378 (view)
it taint all soft...
Posted: 3/9/2008 6:27:38 PM
soul thank you for your lines, it's always a pleasure to read you. wondering how the hell you're doing... because from what i see you ain't writin much lately and, well, as we all know, we'll be right here when you're good n ready again

mmmmmy thank you too but i don't always leave behind the sharp edges, sometimes i start right off with those first, just so i'm clear with certain folks. comes in real handy at work, too. hope you n yours are doing well

silverswan thank you for those kind words and sweet meditative sort of calm you brought in; i surely wish i were healing. hoping all is well with you


ok so here i sit sighing again
because it's been so long
since i've checked in
i really don't know
exactly where to begin
so much has gone on
so much yet to do
but i'll just be myself
and like always jump right on in
hopefully it'll help
to get some of this

it ain't pretty
but those of you who are familiar
with me know this already
darkness in the soul
has to seep out somehow
better than bludgeoning people
or walking around all stoic like
hissing, spitting and growling slow as molasses
like i saw in those seemingly vampirical creatures
in 30 days of night last friday night


i am bad
i must be bad

correction; more appropriately
i am very guilty

for the guilt far outweighs
any mere fleeting pleasures felt
in those many hours i spend
pouring over words and books
savoring them hungrily
oh all right; voraciously then
sometimes delicately or playfully
as if the insight contained within their
having been strung together in a certain way
by a certain person would ever have the possibility
of ever filling my whetted appetite
but honestly, as if in those very aha! moments
some amazing sort of transference might occur
as in the evoking of a certain memory
or a sympatico sort of feeling or reverie
almost as in deja vu if you understand what i mean
like, like, i had back in my childhood afternoons
spent in the garden, devouring
springtime strawberries or
autumnal juicy apples
and words

back when words
seemed to fill my mind
and fed and nourished
my fantasy realm and soul

maybe it was the sunshine
two magnificent days in a row
or the heralding of spring again
with certainty

whatever it is
it hit me today
and hard

how deeply i miss my mother and my brother!
sitting outside in the backyard
writing down some feelings and thoughts
smoking a cigarette
wincing at the brightness and the heat of the sun's rays
upwards of 70 here this afternoon
trusty cheapy blue medium point bic pen
purple legal writing tablet
sighing and waiting for my hair to dry
drinking water and cats nearby
their tails flickering in the air
they take turns rolling around on the rough patio

and i'm feeling sad
i felt a tug and had to wonder at it
because i couldn't just shrug this one away
me being me, and clarification and dissecting being what they are to me...
then from who knows where
there it is, all simple like
that ginormous pink elephant that no one wants to admit
is crapping right on the living room carpet
in plain sight of everyone
because it makes people uneasy
it makes people uncomfortable to talk or write
about things that aren't so nice
after all...

truth is, today
i miss the sound of my mother's voice and laughter
and too, i miss making her laugh
for me it seemed genuinely such an easy thing to do
this coming st patty's day marks the 3rd year of her passing

naturally it seems then for me to think of my brother
and how i long to have any kind of talk on any kind of topic with him
he just always made anything and everything somehow no matter how bad
easier to tackle
more interesting
more amusing
more, well...

and yes, i know
that is incorrect grammar
but is exactly what i mean

because i surmise
this is a big one ahead of me
this one isn't non definitive
this one isn't any big mystery
no enigma puzzle conundrum here to figure out
simple, easy peasy, black white red
blood tests, three of them
tomorrow i face my own immortality at approximately 1pm pst
who knows how long it takes for results to come back
insert any irritated and exasperated sighing emoticon here please

last week i learned i am yet another kind of statistic
one of approximately two hundred and forty thousand here, in this las vegas valley
who knows how many have moved out of state, or have already expired?
so far 6 have tested positive for hepatitis, i don't know which, b or c... and/or hiv...
a woman who's had aids 20+ years was already a complicated case and a mystery because she was abstinent from sex all that time, and now has hepatitis because some rich folks wanted to become richer by saving a few mere pennies on each and every client they practiced on...

the news of this atrocity made me seethe, days before i was notified i too was
"one of them"

and why yes, as a matter of fact, there are several class action lawsuits beginning
but apparently there's also a cap of three hundred fifty thousand per individual
kinda sickening, ain't it?

june 10th, 2005 marked me unknowingly, unwittingly
yet it only became known to me as of last week
when i was presented with a hand delivered envelope at work
formally, legally notifying me that my health insurance had ID'd me
as one of the many numbers above because i had a medical outpatient "procedure"
performed at an endoscopy center which only very recently came to light as reusing
needles and syringes for their patients undergoing anesthesia from 3.2005 to 1.2008

because after all, damn it; i buy far too many books and zines you know
for the words...

and apparently i don't have quite enough on this shrinking plate of mine that somehow i found myself holding after falling down that rabbit hole that i never even quite recognized as a rabbit hole...
this is becoming tiresome, drivel, angst, pissed off~ness
and believe you me; i abhor this even more than you

all i can do is keep on doing all i can do
and thank you for letting me blow of this steamy pile of rant in a safe way
which now sort of resembles a ren n stimpy episode...
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 376 (view)
different kinds of love
Posted: 3/9/2008 10:13:01 AM
again it seems it's been so long
so much in me needing to wind
it's own ways outside
rather like a caged songbird
in frustration spouting: let me out!

but flying fast here now
i promised my sweetie
to get this leetle one out
so we can get out on our jaunts
then back for the cub's game
at which time i'll properly, appreciatively
thank SOULdier and mmmmmy
for their thoughtful contributions
left herein this humble thread

we've recently made the trek
into nearby death valley a few times
yesterday was one of those days
and here is a bit of reflection wrought

i was completely
in the moment; enraptured
attempting with my kodak digi to capture
something i saw which became then
something i felt

it brought me to my knees
carefully positioning
then repositioning myself
awkwardly even to freeze
forever in time
as electronically as it had already
burnt itself onto my memory's mind
joining with and taking it's own space
the over million images already placed
stored herein this, my machine
pictures in my mind and heart

my first witnessing of pre~bloom
purple peeking from the green
a clear symbol heralding promise
so simple in it's singular perfection
from within a man made rock fountain
bubbling into a small rock pond
in the front west facing furnace creek inn
atop a hill overlooking death valley
in all her glory spread out below and beyond

i took several shots
trying to find the right spot
taking too much time
feeling torn between
the here and now with the just right
with yum atop a balcony patio
him as always, patiently
watching waiting yet needing some water
after such a long drive
with two previous stops already

i hurried and shot
happy finally with what i got
when i stood up and rejoined reality
outside of my former cognitive ability
to see an elderly man watching me
he was curious at my awkward stance
at taking what he probably
deemed simplicity
i could read it from him
imprinted lines upon his forehead
not even a half smile
but an aha! sort of realization
when he gleaned what i was after
we exchanged no words
for he was now lost in the simple fountain
he remained there as i took my leave
and, climbing the rambling steps to the top
i looked back into my past
he continued to peer
into the fountain's offerings

i like to think maybe he too
even without a camera
might remotely remember
a feeling we both singularly felt
without even having really shared
nor neither of us verbalizing
the beauty of a water lily
in a bubbling rock pond ironically
not a mirage but real
therein the depths of quiet
of an arid majestic desert valley

within all the stress continuing
whirling and tossing me around
i thank you, my dearest yum
for getting me outside myself
outside this concrete jungle
by taking me into nature
thusly allowing me to find more
beyond the many bits of strife
medical, work and bills
by simply nature and her whisperings
combining bits of past, present and future
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 2071 (view)
LAST LINE becomes your first of an 8 line STANZA.
Posted: 2/6/2008 11:09:57 AM
how simply perfectly shnice it'd be~ if we weren't too busy to notice or not overtly zealous as to ignore other's initial beginning structural ideals of thread homes. i too have been guilty of crimes such as these; more than once; & been plenty embarrassed too! rules=sighs! ok, don't mind me ~ carry on, as you were...

the nights can bring quite a chill indeed since when does anyone that ole perfectly golden rule ever heed?!
once upon a long, long time ago... one or two; ok; quite a few of us just forgot all the riddles, tact or need
whom here agree: him her them they you or me, have or maybe once actually really truly had... manners
so on it goes we all know real life just happens as in threads; jumbled crazy eh all my ‘ittle lambies

i like to think we’re more alike than different just all damn busy running and darting here 'n there
pushing or squirming to get something caught inside; out, wildly dashing too hurried or harried to care
yet will, oh so quickly our version of reality throw up or down upon reading & feeling inspired; rushing to post
alas on the wrong page, now all’s come undone to feeling hot crimson blush spreading as cold jam on warm toast
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 690 (view)
Shelter me...home
Posted: 2/1/2008 11:53:00 AM
can you forgive me sister
for calling you by the wrong name
consumed with sheer tiredness
makes no difference of the excuse
but so wanting to let you know
your heart touches many so

physical therapy 3x a week means
sometimes i'm in even more pain
than whence i went through the door to go in
others leaves me smiling wide
cheek to cheek (not those cheeks)
almost in ethereal glow
i know you know what i mean
because it's like alice and that ole rabbit hole
falling falling swirling and away we go again
on another adventure as it begins
strap your seatbelt on and hang on tight

when, not if; i ramble or rumble
when i falter, crumble or stumble
yes you can even roll your eyes
if i spoke another language
or if i was blind/deaf/dumber
she'd still be as kind i believe
i hope i'm not the only one
to feel strength of this bond even though
i rarely anymore write/read/come
here it's so sweet to always know
we all have a place to come to
a comfy place for her 'n him
you 'n me, or us 'n them

made herein by one woman's dream
with her heart and wit and strength
softness and laughter wrought all from one
always dreaming made us a place you see
where luckily shelter felt here is free
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 373 (view)
cat poo irony
Posted: 1/24/2008 3:22:32 PM
soul darling thank you so
you're sweet to think of me
but really i wonder if
i ever could have been classified
as sane or normal or even average
i suppose that in itself
makes me average
you're astute to know
despite time zone differences
longitude and latitude
i sure do need more sleep
to help correct my attitude
thank you for your kindness dear
the pain has lessened
the burdens are lighter
when caring and sharing
are heightened
thank you too af sweet soul sister
yes i do agree
sometimes the pm news is best
left to morning but sometimes too
it simply must be seen and felt
even if it leaves my heart mourning
yes we've lost something special
in a man with many talents
and a beautific smile
a warm heart
a young beautiful girl child
and as well like many do
he had some troubles too
the human condition
is not always humane
isn't it a shame
or is it just a truth
that helps our hearts to know
to dare reach out more each day
to let others we love, know
though i have been remiss
i hope you understand
i make no apology
yet always with you dear
it's easy to open my heart
without and not fear leaving it open
some lucky sisters like us
share the same inside
unlike some blood don't do
do do do de de da da da
jules it's true petals fall from the rose
a good reminder of that other realm
the shining bright beacon light of hope
the final edification and weightlessness
a long happy sigh at the end of each journey
like a nice long lazy vacation away and then
that warm comfort of finally coming home

damn if sable didn't but in fact she did
i hadn't yet even made it past the condo gate
or even to the street when she squeaked
there she was behind me in the folded down back seat
her back all arched as she struggled wrenching out
a most wicked wet hot steamy snake of kitty poo stinkeroo

i pulled over yelling trying hard as i might to laugh
but it stank to high heaven in my little 2 door
jake just rolled his eyes at me and glared at her
for making me turn into a green screaching meenie
she'd poo'd right next to her ultra clean kitty box
all over the long clean fluffy rug i'd brought for them
to remind them of home that we'd once again share
in the distant future perhaps but past all this humility

and so we continued our jaunt across town
from way out central west lakes area to far northeast
centennial and losee pecos way out near the air base
then whatta ya think happened right bout the rr tracks?
jake let out a sissy boy mew and then i smelled him too
at least he had the common sense to go in the cat box
and thusly began the unwinding of my night last night
i don't care if you're offended or bored i mostly
just get this stuff out for me; it just simpl irony
i tried to find the humor in the little boring tale as it unfolded
but the stink made it completely evasive somehow
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 369 (view)
rough day
Posted: 1/22/2008 8:58:56 PM
common denominator
me again damn it sighing
front and center
what has over time
become my life
always so much going on
orb spinning too fast
different scenarios
yet same old news flash

yesterday's blues
regurgitated anew
morning stock market crash
no time
to even
kiss the 401k bye bye
five years worth gone
in the blink of an eye

American Idol showcasing
a woman screeching
trying her best
in her sexy red
too tight dress
yet poor thing
failed miserably

now a commercial
makes me wanna sweat purple
but to do so
i don't wanna drink Gatorade

and today
what i considered a shining star
young 28 yo beautifully talented man
so young with oh so much at his hands
world seemingly by the tail
yet somehow destined too early to fail
for he was found dead
just this afternoon
at the foot of his Soho posh bed
while yet another reddit blurb reads
"f*ck heath ledger: 27 American troops
and 394 Iraqis have died in 2008
and so it goes; someone else puts
their own intended spin
on the perspectives therein

one of bin laden's sons
in headlines and newsclips
stating he'd like to see
bush meeting with his daddy
who is whose protege today?

infiltrated mind race
no one wins
no one comes out alive

how do i stop
doing this to myself?
painting the devil on the wall
sneering at us all
taking stock
surveying the mess
just another fallout/in time
just another twisting
of this particular mind
shaking my head no to more pills
preferring rather instead
simply keep trying my best
to try swallowing
all this pain
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 368 (view)
Posted: 1/9/2008 10:07:49 PM
words surely spoken
can't be taken back
neither angry ones
nor my sappy happy ones
they live on in memory
even the happy ones can turn
like salt rubbed onto a wound
if those feelings wander into yesterdays
especially if no apology
is dared given nor made
anymore than i must remember
words once written
don't make them true
they just make them

might feel
as a relative thing
it too ebbs and flows
yet cannot go on forever
somewhere it will find a place
it's own meant space
to flow away as does the tide

every atom
can be broken
into smaller sub particles
much smaller
than the sum
of it's own existence
no rocket science needed
lighter than dust
invisible and naked
saving unto itself
a certain imagined vision

as a visage waited to see
as a painting yet to be freed to it's beauty
as a smile played happily into a laugh
as a kindness extended given freely becomes grace
as humility felt makes it's way to a freedom and space
as a hug, meant deeply
as a kiss not stolen but offered gently
as a scent lingered enticingly then wafts away
as a touch once shared so warmly becomes a memory
or a continual yearning hunger

no decryption necessary
nothing encoded
nothing exploded
some things just fizzle away
not ever having
intended to stay
no need anymore to whisper or say
nor speak of those things
those feelings before those thoughts
finally too
as heat breaks as fever
or as ice melts away
to once again stray
into another form

of time, space, need
all such ugly
ugly things

thorb, thank you
time goes on and on
and we just keep marching
to our own different yet similar beats
just the way it's supposed to be
but sometimes i read something
you've written somewhere
and i don't take the time
to let you know just how much
your words ring true
and now you show up here
bringing your gentle nudging cheer
thank you sweet boy for your good wishes
my hope for you peace of mind
no matter how, with whom or what kind
we all could use a good dose of that
(without any clap)
happy new year dear

bigksbear thank you for the smiles
and the warmth in my chest
where i think my heart used to be
and dang if you aren't right
i am "soft" on just more than my edges
me, sometimes i'm soft in me head, too
surely you've by now gleaned i'm no angel certainly
a bit of a lippy flippy sometimes
there's no use denying that lil fact
it'd do me well to learn some sort of tact

but you surely got it right
i do love ya'll with my heart and soul
thank you for being you, such a dear
now you've made me all mushy here

i can only be me be it good or bad
just so waiting for spring's warm rays
when cold weather has passed
this new year brought surprises
some good and some not so great

truly i'm impatiently trying hard to wait
giving some credence now to relearning some things
newly realised focus zeroing in
on what works, what won't and what ain't

luvlyladi is right blinders just won't do
welcome and thank you for taking your time
here to unwind and remind
to remember with grace and gratefulness
what precious gift is knowledge
whether from love or some other lesson
all are meant to be appreciated

as always, jules seeing
and sharing the best she feels
heart on her sleeve
always so encouraging to us all!
thank you for always makin me smile, woman!

v v v, thank you for bringing back
some of your own barest boldest
always nice to read your lines
always welcome, anytime

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 770 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 1/9/2008 9:27:49 PM
sculptor thank you
i really liked monarch park cafe
i myself know all too well
it's not ever a good thing
to get too spun up
and too, how quick some are
to place tags on others
your lines are funny sad and true
clever of you and yes somehow methinks
she most probably does know the truth already
welcome back shadow
thank you too for the meditation
soft and flowing, thank you for placing it here
"yet a rhythm unfolds
beautiful, apt and also, so true
so nice to see you've stopped in
and left such a beauty

triple your words too are true
hope, such a small word
with huge and infinite meaning
happy new year tpb for you and yours

Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 362 (view)
new year full of hope for all
Posted: 1/4/2008 6:36:06 PM
bigksbear so sweet your words i thank you kindly
for leaving your lines herein this humble thread
surely it was meant to be her doctors had the names they did
just as it was meant for her to love as much as she did
for i believe without knowing her, but only knowing of her
that she was simply just being herself
that special kind of woman that captures your heart forever
and winds herself into your dreams, reveries and beautiful memories
she has not faded as does the rose but she has risen to magnificent heights
within all the hearts and minds of all that were blessed enough to have known her
and felt her strengths and beauty and love; which i believe truly encompasses all
it is an amazing thing, love; wondrous, glorious, tangible yet sometimes intangible
i believe it is so strong it becomes infinite and it veritably glows with it's luminescence
thank you and bless you for sharing a small part of her here

harshcannon i thank you too for your lines have moved me
so many blessings left herein these threads of thoughts and hearts and minds
yes everything is as a circle i do believe and unfolds in ways sometimes not understood
but oftentimes looking back, clarity becomes crystal clear as things and people and places, being and happening just perfectly; exactly as they ought
bringing a peaceful and orderly brilliance to chaos on our shared spinning orb
and if i am indeed any sort of bomb, you are in fact the cannon that truly understands
thank you for such a lovely write and heartfelt good wishes!

jules jules jules, yes he is something of a silver hearted wordsmith, is he not?!
of course i am keeping up with the frame of mind, what other choice do i really have? to be crabby; yes, sometimes, but really aren't we all?
i'm only human, in this my shell of body as each of us are
looking up with hope to silky velvet blue sky and shimmering brilliant stars
sometimes faith is all one has, and it is those times for which i am really most grateful
for even in humbling one can stand tall, just remember to breathe in deeply and relax
sometimes that helps me more clearly see something i might have missed otherwise
or feel something i hadn't yet experienced or realised
thank you too dear jules, backatcha for a wonderful beautiful shiny new year
full of love, health, dreams, laughter and especially of hope
your words reach out & grab too, make one feel more near, you're such a dear!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 1927 (view)
Posted: 1/4/2008 5:42:00 PM
but with this headache i cannot resist
leaning on over to give you a long deep kiss
rubbing and soothing your throbbing temples
somehow now turns to my fingers finding their way
to your bottom and those dimples oh how they've strayed
ahh just another fantasy to begin gently at your top
i find myself in reverie to yet end up not so gently
again with lust, greed and need at one of my most favorite places
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 765 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/31/2007 4:07:21 PM
lovely lines, joshua, thank you for sharing them here

by now she was of an age
wherein her mind
sometimes played
tricks on and in her reality

she still had her sass
an active imagination
appreciation for so much
she'd already seen, known
and been bestowed
she still had a nice ass
or so she'd been told
since about age thirteen
of yeah in case ya hadn't yet noticed
she still had a bit of 'tude too
sometimes a good thing
sometimes it got her into trouble
those latter times made her humble
upon reflection and self introspection
and methinks humility is a very good thing
to feel first handedly

another move now looming
this very next weekend
in cold and wind
a fresh start to this
brand new year
in again with dear friends
a new home again
grateful me
to have the grace
of a place loving and warm
to go rest and live in
to not be alone
while facing so much
again humility raises it's head
while pride must depart
for grace to take place

more than lucky is me/she
to have friends such as these
chosen kindred family

she was and is the sort
of person who'd lived
quite an amazing life thus far
experiences so many
living and travelling overseas
friendships many so grand
love felt strongly firsthand
and grateful was she
for not only it and humility
but as well her strength and tenacity
her mother had taught her well you see
although now a few years gone
her lessons and spirit
somehow still live on
and this one, me
not quite yet ready
not giving up
not even a bit
not even close to dipping a toe in
can't even see or feel or hear that
rushing clear cold and deep
river of water running beneath
me, i still have too much living to do
no end in sight just quite
yet my friends
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 763 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/29/2007 11:00:04 AM
Sculptor, thank you
for such kindness left herein
your words touched me deeply
more so than i can impart
happiest of new year to you and yours
loved reading your lines
please come back anytime

designs thank you too
the stars shine brightly
guiding our ways
with grateful acknowledgement
i am humbled by the grace
in each moment of the rhythyms
of life
happiest of new years to you!

joshua dear
thank you for taking your time
and your well wishes
somehow methinks this year
coming new will be a great one
for yours and you!

thank you for visiting
for your thoughts and query
i have many thoughts on the subject matter
you've brought up herein
sacrifice + love = equality
no matter which diety
one chooses to believe in
none are perfect yet
we are each perfect
none are devoid of "sin"
yet we are each pure
happiest of new year's blessings to you
and thank you kindly for yours too

just around the corners of lives
comes a new year shining bright
gifts heartfelt for one and all
health love warmth balance and hope
an end to strife a return to simplicity
if but only we heed their call
whether of whispers or loudly announced
they will present themselves unfolding
in their time as it right they show themselves
quiet ourselves so we may better understand
feeling knowing and devising for each of us
ourselvesfor our best to be laid out plans
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 359 (view)
new year full of hope for all
Posted: 12/29/2007 10:39:44 AM
aww V, thank you for gracing the thread
just so you know
you aren't alone, for i too
know all too well
that feeling of romancing one's self
but, i won't accept ever
romance can't return
because that would mean
i'd given up
and although i'm a tad battle weary
and sometimes jaded (clearly)
i realize what i send out to the cosmos
is more about me than any sort of luck
or fate or kizmet, whatever one looks at "it as...

because i deserve health and i deserve love
and i deserve to allow myself romance
and i deserve to do all in my power
for me
and so do you, sweet V; so do you
so don'tcha give up yet dear
open your heart and mind to these many
infinite, in fact, possibilities
that yet exist in you
if only you yourself acknowledge they do
because they most certainly do

happiest of new year wished for you, truly
gifts of love health happness and
especially an infinite reserve most dear
one of hope in this bright shiny new year

Brizo thanks for stopping by and your well wishes
i too wish all the best for you and yours
in what i hope extends into a beautiful new year

RC darling thank you
for leaving your beauty and grace
herein this humble place
my hope is indeed returned
with a verocity of strength
i am blessed for many reasons yes
and you are one of those
thank you for being you
i smile believing i know
you're at the start
of one amazing new year
for you and your dears
all most deserving clear

AF thank you too for the nudge most true
the world
our lives
our sight
and extending beyond all these
indeed come from within
no need for bows or tinsel
these gifts although perhaps intangible
are those often felt most deeply
thank you for your well wishes
i hope for you and yours
in this new year
not only what you wish for
but for all your heart and mind and soul truly needs
even those things perhaps not yet realized

i haven't been on so much lately
am pages behind in responding to emails
but please know, dears~
i've been not intentionally neglectful
but living and caught up so in life
these past few months
busy with this business of living
and have yet so much more to accomplish
making a list of a different sort now
crossing of as i finish each task
by one by one; and this is a good reminder
for me as long as i continue to move foreward
this morning i awakened after much pain
and not such good medical news this week
one surgery with biopsies taken
at least two more to undergo
and a thought jolted
strong and quickly through my brain cells
i do NOT, i will NOT have cancer~
my body my brain my intentions will realign
correctly with my frame of mind
i will be more assertive with my doctor
i AM healthy, i will BE healthy and keep my chin up
higher and even a bit higher still
knowing the methods thus far have me stronger
and i can reach higher because i must

for me
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 1903 (view)
Posted: 12/27/2007 2:57:28 PM
i'll call i said and so of course i did that long ago crisp cold morning
as my mother lay far away in hospice, busy dying my sister holding the phone
so my mother could hear my voice as i choked back tears to tell her how much i loved her
i respected her and i admired her for all those past years in all laughter and tears

i whispered i understood she was tired i told her it was ok she'd fought long enough
she'd loved shared hoped and dreamt for all of us enough and then some though now
she'd been in that coma for a week showing herself and each of us in death as she had in life
determination and strength always beautiful with dignity and grace she left this earthly place

out of respect for and per the originator of this thread; please see post #1:
AND YOUR REPLY IS AN EIGHT LINE STANZA...{ask if you're not sure}
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 762 (view)
a place for us novices...
Posted: 12/27/2007 3:08:54 AM
my sincerest heartfelt thank you to each of you; caught a bug here and am up far too late but promise to respond/write soonest when my thinking is more clear.

hoping each of you had a beautiful and magical holiday and will have a beautiful new year full of love, health, happiness, wonder and hope in the coming new year!
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 476 (view)
The one thing you miss most when you are single
Posted: 12/27/2007 2:51:33 AM
i can't possibly just narrow it down to just one singular thing; there are too many fascinating variables...

when single, i miss
my one true best friend, my ally, my confidant and my lover all in one person
listening, talking and the quiet time with the one special someone to me
that one that i treasure completely, infinitely, no matter how frustrating we might be to one another sometimes, it is those times that are the real glue and challenge to being so right together, when everything just falls into a beautiful natural rhythm of life itself
sharing shopping, cleaning and cooking together, the trading off of chores the other despises that the other doesn't mind doing can make even mundane chores seem fun
while giving both a feeling of accomplishment and knowledge of a clean home
coffee, meals, sunrises/sunsets/moon/stars, bathing/showering lathering, lounging and sleeping in together sometimes
sharing those lil secrets, knowing looks and little quiet jokes no one else understands
quiet times spent doing our own thing in near vicinity of each other when words aren't needed because closeness is present
road trips, hiking, exploring, finding something beautiful in nature or sharing something together manmade, as in visual or verbal modes...movies, music, art, etc.
cozy comfortable snuggling and knowing i can give or ask for a hug or kiss at any time
whispers, those deepest soulful kisses that make toes curl and gasping for breath, turning us on fire inside to give each other that gift of endorphins 'n so much more
learning, sharing, growing together and being better because of day to day having the other in our lives
having my hand taken without words, out of the blue just walking together
eye contact, the special bond of being intimate and letting go completely
being in nature and sharing those beautiful awe inspiring times with my man
creativity and the inspiration it yields when shared
sincerely encouraging one another and knowing it's appreciated, wanted and sometimes needed by and for both
feeling protected as well as that natural instinctual feeling of caring for another, wholly
knowing in heart the other will stand beside us through anything to endure as much as we are proud to stand beside them; in both good times and bad, happy or sad...

dedication, sharing and loyalty that actually strengthens a couple rather than constrains them; two people can balance one another and give amazing insight to and for one another when they are healthy about keeping their individuality intact and those individualities are realized, respected, nurtured and encouraged so each may fully reach for their own potentials which thereby increases their reward and appreciation as a couple, in my estimation anyway...
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