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 Author Thread: No Money and Looking for Love
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 137 (view)
 
No Money and Looking for Love
Posted: 8/3/2012 11:37:36 PM
My best friend of 22 years died recently. When I met him, he did not know where his next meal was coming from. It did not matter, now 22 years later he had made something of himself and well. The last few months of his life he relised our friendship value. He has always been an older brother type, giving me advise, always in time of need their for one another and know we can count on one another. So money if that is the motivation to have a partner or friend - beware it is fake. If you have money act poor, be frugle, and see their true feelings towards you with in time.

Have that rusty car, the dirty gym shoes, maybe older clothing of acouple years old. I hope to find a true love and dear friendship.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 56 (view)
 
ladies who are `happily divorced`
Posted: 6/8/2012 2:26:00 PM
Glad I am divorced, but not at the time when we were going threw it! Things ended peacefully. Was married to an alcoholic, we always had money issues, and who committed adultery with two different women. I had enough and divorced him! Our kids are raised and it is my turn to enjoy life with or without someone.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 46 (view)
 
Broke up, communication issues, ex girlfriend says to be happier without me?
Posted: 6/4/2012 5:55:33 PM
TanveerST91,
You are emotional with good reason. One of you where in a serious relationship! Sorry for your pain, I have been in this type of relationship before and it hurts. You must let her go! She will do it again regardless what is said.

It helps to write down what you would accept or not accept in future relationship! Work on this for a few months, continue to read relationship issue books for ideas, and talking is good even on POF.

Right now she is in control by given your life a lot of drama, stress, and you are on the roller coaster ride. Let her go, find someone who is worthy of your love and companionship for a strong positive future.

If you where in some way to get her back, question how do you see the future? She is running for man to man and will continue no words will change this (STD’s)! If marriage or if a child becomes in the mix, will you be able to see the child! Think - - you are a very nice looking young man with a great future.

Only get involved with level headed people, if you surround yourself with her type that is where you will remain at that level. Change – Change –Surround yourself with positive friends and a nice lover worthy of you will come with in time.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 177 (view)
 
Divorced? Would you re-marry?
Posted: 5/21/2012 8:25:50 PM
Trust is hard once you have been betrayed. Getting re-married, no. Why, do not plan to have any more children. If the relationship ends, I do not have to hire a lawyer, just leave. With time has passed and some healing took place. I would like a relationship like a marriage without the paper work. Thought I found it once but things ended in August.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I found my Mr. Right!!!
Posted: 5/10/2012 3:50:10 PM
Glad to hear you are so happy and their are nice men out their who are marriage material from this site POF.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
wanting to meet....
Posted: 5/8/2012 8:15:42 PM
Move on, a man who is interested in you! He would of found a way to meet you.

It does not hurt to talk thou.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Does one fare better with a paid membership here?
Posted: 5/5/2012 7:13:33 AM
I say try anything to stand out, even the small fee. It would be worth it to meet the right person.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Lust, Passion and Love
Posted: 5/4/2012 11:44:49 PM
Does this man let you know he wants you there, gives you flowers, or shows you in his special ways you are number one in his life. Girl there are signs how the man views you in his life. When he introduces you to others what does he call you – this is (your first name), this is my girlfriend, this is my lady friend, she my friend or simply no introduction. The title that man gives you is a clue to how he views you or what type of relationship he intends to have with you. So girl you need to decide what you want for yourself. To be number one or just a FWB girl! Look for the signs.

Read relationship books if need be.

My bf and I of two years had broken up in Aug 2011. I knew he had another interest, by his actions and behavior. His daughter called me 6 days after our break up and said how did you know he had another girlfriend? She spent the night with Dad and I meet her this morning. I told her their where signs.
All the emotions Lust, Passion and Love are all great feelings and can lead to a broken heart or a great relationship.

My best friend of 22 years, started out with me having the emotion of Lust over him. It lasted about two years then I started to date others once in a while. We had disagreements and many great times. That over the years grew into a trust, love, and understanding of one another that I have never shared with anyone else. I am now his care giver. He has one to three months to live and unable to function on his own. Our relationship best described is he is my older brother, best friend, and we never had any type of sexual relationship. I will sure miss him when he goes.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Dating a best friend
Posted: 4/21/2012 5:16:12 PM
This is something you need to decide, talk over with her. You can become great lovers or lose a friend ship. There is no way of really know.

My best friend is male of 22 years now. We talked about becoming lovers, even marriage, but the chemistry for sexually relationship is not there! He is like my older brother – family, he knows all, and we have full trust & honesty between us. He has stage 4 cancer and was told someone in his condition has about 12-15 months. It has been six months, I am the care giver, trying to date and finding by living here that most men just do not understand. Being opposite sex friendship – buddy is possible.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 509 (view)
 
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 4/21/2012 4:14:17 PM
A girlfriend of mine, went on a blind date, they talked non stop for 7 hours that night and decided to spend the night together. They are happly married for the last 31 years. She had the standard not the first night, but it happened, the chemistry was their!
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
I don't know if I can do this anymore...
Posted: 4/21/2012 3:56:56 PM
Keep on trying, but take care of yourself first. It is a tough world looking for the correct person to share your life with.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
sleepover but no sex
Posted: 4/8/2012 4:16:45 PM
I was resistant to having sex, with this man. Slept over his house after being begged for weeks with the understanding NO SEX!!! It did not happen! Reason why my hesitation; his way of thinking and actions. He had a large drink every night, talked about moving out of the country again, I reminded him of his belated girlfriend who ironically passed away the day same day the ex-boyfriend & I broke up and letting me know how or what I was feeling. There is more but the chemistry just was not their! Very nice person, is the only reason why gave him a chance. Would of liked to be friends but not something that would of worked out with this guy.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
So who ELSE out here is thankful for POF??
Posted: 3/29/2012 5:10:10 PM
Still looking! Thank you for POF. Had no knowledge how to meet someone once divorced! I complained one night telling my kids where to go to meet nice guys, without attending bars or late night clubs. I worked a second job for years retail, never met a single sole to my knowledge. The right man has not crossed my path just yet. Someday hope to have a success story, but will remain looking until then.
 Fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Panic attacks.
Posted: 9/6/2011 8:17:28 PM
Thank you for the idea to go on meetup.com - -- I am not finding what I am looking for on POF. I agree with the terms are so confusing. Their has to be more of us who are just starting out over once again being wet behind the ears and not in the today times of dating lingo. I am with the Arthur of this Panic attacks. Peoples income, retired, vactions, and activities. I just am not on the same page. What happened to a old fashion relationship to be with one person if you enjoy thier company.
 Fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
In a relationship but still on dating sites?
Posted: 1/31/2010 10:02:38 PM
I sure feel for your friend. This very thing happened to me but finial asked him “noticed your on the site are you still looking”? He replied just talking with friends and only dating me. Found out differently after he asked a my girlfriend out and I no longer see him!

I met someone else in September were we are both are on the same page wanting to be a couple not dating several. Now it’s a mater of time to see how we work out. With respect to others on this site I hide my profile for now (because no longer looking). I have not deleted my POF account for two reasons like the forums and the new relationship it is too early to know what the future holds.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Is technology contributing to the rise of singles?
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:17:57 PM
The rise in singles is on the rise because the basic values of a relationship are not in place. Most of my friends had working parents being tired when they got home and with very little of loving affection shown between them, eventually most got divorced. I was very lucky my mom was a stay at home mom, every night had very nice dinner with the family being all together, family time is important to keep the relationship together between a couple as well as with the kids.

Technology when used correctly can be beneficial to meet someone you may have never meet other wise. But on the other hand technology could change a person by becoming addictive thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence even if very happy with the person you just said good night to.

For me or those of us who are shy, do not like the bar scene, do not like loud music or concerts for a long period of time or not interested in a smoky environment, makes it hard to meet someone.

My question is where to go to find a family man at our ages that are single among all the people we meet daily. Just imagine asking (man or women) as someone passes by saying are you single, want to date tonight! What looks you will receive! I am also sure eventually the police or white coats would be called and the date you’re expecting or hoping for will change LOL.
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
If he says he's into you, why does he still look at other profiles?
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:26:21 PM
Follow your gut feelings, decided what you want in a relationship, what are your standards, and proceed forward!

I had this very thing happen to me but asked him if dating others or still looking, he told me just talking to friends, not looking, and if was dating someone else he would let me know. I opened a false account using name Amy and he asked her out! A few weeks pasted as they talked, finding out his true feelings about me.

The end result is my standards even thou truly liked this man I will not wait around as he chooses between me or Amy or who ever else. He should know after dating 6 months either yes or no.

I rather know the truth even if it hurts.

These sites can be additive for some because it opens up doors with many choices and temptations that was not their in past or for some never satisfied thinking there is always something better passing them by just having to keep looking even if with someone they are very happy with (best known term is being a player).

My suggestion is read this book:
“Act like a Lady – Think like a Man” By Steve Harvey I found a copy at Wal-Mart
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
What Do You Look For In a New Partner?
Posted: 6/17/2009 8:00:26 PM
Most important is integrity and live with in your means.
Someone who is non judgmental of my achievements
Can have eye contact with out having to look a way!
Leave incomes out of conversation
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
So hard... feel like giving up
Posted: 6/6/2009 8:01:38 PM
Love will bring the feeling of hurt when two parties do not feel the same way or the other person unable to decide you’re the one.

With the history I read both your forums this girl clearly does not have any respect for you and at this point in her life is unable to truly love someone in a health way, she has issues being unsecure about something.

You need to mend your broken heart, get involved in other activities (dance, go back to school better yourself, single groups, gym) with in time date others until you find the special person to share the love of respect, trust, and fun being together (not just sex) but look forward to each time being together regardless of what your doing.
 Fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 180 (view)
 
is it harder to date as we get older?
Posted: 4/30/2009 7:41:04 PM
I can sure relate to the fears of dating, trying to find someone you both feel the same way. Feelings of rejection or hurt happens regardless of what our ages are, just recently thought in a serious relationship to find only one of us thought so. Hidd my profile for the past few weeks to heal or take a break, Wish their was a crytal ball or easier method to find someone genuine true to possible monogamous relationship - Its hard to keep bouncing back when everyone seems to be looking for a quick relationship with out open communication, to many secreates being kept.
 Fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
Living solo
Posted: 4/30/2009 7:20:49 PM
Living solo everyone should experience, I made the mistake getting married before living on my own - now divorced and have for 19 years. Being solo works and if future find someone special would deside at this point to remain solo or live together, go with what feels right
 fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Parents who live with you, is it a turn off?
Posted: 6/30/2008 7:17:34 PM
Living with your parents, is not a turn off, wise thing to do, reason if you never found that special someone in your life and get along with your parents, I say - you should stay living with them - help pay the bills - help around the house when they ask - and save your money and make investments to have your money work for you instead of you working for it.
 Fleta
Joined: 1/9/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
beach volleyball
Posted: 5/8/2008 10:55:15 PM
I would like to attend beach volleyball - work out the details and let me know - hope I can attend
 
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