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 Author Thread: bald spot
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
bald spot
Posted: 7/29/2007 7:40:15 PM
OP - for women, here's why there is hair loss:

#1 - Polycystic ovary syndrome (hormonal)
#2 - Alopecia areata (autoimmune) - hair comes out in patches/lumps
#3 - Telogen effluvium -- a change in the natural hair growth system that often follows childbirth, crash dieting, surgery, or a traumatic emotional event.
#4 - Thyroid disorders
#5 - Anemia
#6 - Chronic illnesses
#7 - Medications
#8 -

Female balding is different than male balding. Women lose their hair around the whole top of their head. Whereas men lose their hair around the temple, the crown, or the bald spot in the back. Get a blood test done, and if need be, a scalp biopsy.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Women abusing the term single
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:35:55 PM
OP - she misled you, totally uncool. However, if she says "I'm single", it means I'm not married. By stating one is "single", can cover a whole range of relationships without the legalities of marriage. She didn't abuse it, she just didn't go into detail.

It's like when I have to fill out applications and they ask: single, married, widowed, or divorced. Who gives a rats ass to have elaborate: "widowed or divorced". Hey, I'm no longer married, therefore, I'm single.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Just looking for some input
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:32:52 PM
OP - if she's moved on with her life and without you, she should've been a kind enough human being to say "it's over". It seems as you've said in a few of your posts that she's done a disappearing act. What's to prevent it from happening again "if" you were to hook-up again. I think that's one thing about her, you're not going to change. Don't know why she did what she did.

Until you get closure from this, you'll go from relationship to relationship, but 100% of you won't be there. I don't know how or if you can make closure out of it. You could call her Mom and let her Mom know to call you. Otherwise, the only alternative is to go where she works, and suggest the 2 of you meet for coffee.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Bush's colon exam
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:25:55 PM
Awww, do we really think that colon exam got rid of the crap hanging around Washington? There's plenty more of it where it came from.

Just don't let Cheney near his ass with a shot gun.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Lots of info or a little mystery?
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:23:45 PM
OP - what's wrong with those sunsets. Heck, I need to post my Margarita machine in mine I'm afraid that I mention toilet paper in my profile. No mystery there. I agree, it's best not to fess all on the first date, first month, or the profile. Bit by bit, the mystery becomes more intriguing and you can't help but want to know about a person.

Same token - we live in an information hungry society. Some folks will tell all, what's let? Oh, and being that I'm a woman, I guarantee that men look at the picture first, then read the profile. Ooops, I'm busted, I just "generalized" here.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Offerings
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:21:32 PM
I'm afraid the "offering" I got today was a hairball on my carpet
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Middle-aged men with younger children
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:18:43 PM
I don't have kids so I can't totally relate to those that do have kids. Why is it that people with kids and those with older kids or without kids can't seem to meet in the middle? I met a fella 2 years ago (grown kids in their 20's). The subject of travel came up. I know me, I love to travel. Anyways, I asked this fella about travel. He said that he'd rather spend the money he's earmarked for travel to his kids so that they can go on a trip. Got to say, it blew my mind! Needless to say, there wasn't a 2nd date. I had visions of his kids going on vacation instead of the 2 of us. I wouldn't mind Disneyworld for one trip - but why wouldn't the next trip be to a romantic island (just the 2 of us). That's what I mean about meeting 1/2 way.

It's gotta be tough for single parents, when they are dealing with the ex's & the dramas, not to spill it over into their dating life. One BF, he had a 5 year old child, each Wednesday & weekend, I'd hear for countless hours of how pissed off he was at the ex because of what she did & didn't do with the child. After awhile, it really got old. It became a Broadway Play.

Too, I wonder if it were my child, I'd have a different attitude than if it is someone else's child. I don't have kids, so I can't totally relate to all that is being said. I think there needs to be balance, especially if a relationship is heading into marriage. There's nothing that would turn me off more (if a fella were talking marriage) that "my child comes first". Yes, I'd see where the child would come first, but I'm a firm believer if a marriage is to stay intact, that overall, the marriage had better come first. JMO.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 81 (view)
 
is it true or bulls**t that life begins at 40?
Posted: 7/29/2007 6:08:57 PM
OP - good thread. I'm in my 2nd childhood. Life truly begins when we embrace it in an open and positive way. Simply put: yesterday is history; tomorrow may never come; today is a present!

Wouldn't trade today in for my youth. I enjoyed my youth, but it was a different time and a different place. The most important thing that I've learned by Life's Experiences is this:

There are 2 forks in the road.
One fork goes to the right. It is the safe route, the outcome is predictable, it feels good & comfortable; it is one that our friends/families/society approves of.

The other fork goes to the left. We can't predict the outcome, we're out of our comfort zone, it's risky; and it's one where we are met with disapproval.

I'd rather take the road to the left, it just makes life more exciting!
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 7 (view)
 
consider this ...
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:52:14 PM
I don't look down on these women, I'm not in their shoes. However, to marry someone to gain something or take advantage of, for the wrong reasons is not cool. I suspect that men that do marry these women are willing to do so, and likewise, these women are willing to make sacrifices (away from their families & home life) to marry into a better situation. For some countries, it becomes a matter of survival.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
forced fatherhood
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:49:13 PM
If one plays sometimes they've gotta pay. Unfortunately, birth control isn't always 100% guarantee. Accidents can and do happen. Two people that do the deed that brings a child into this world, should equally be responsible (financially, spiritually, physically & emotionally) bring up the child. If you aren't willing to pay (god forbid it happens), don't play.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Have we really become so independent that we don't need anyone?
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:35:58 PM
Now - which one of you dudes said something about people being divorced for over 5 years? I wish I could bean him over the head with a wet noodle, but these dang wires won't let me.

I agree - if one has been divorced for over 5 years and has NOT dated, I'd say major issue. On the flip side of the coin, one can be divorced for years and not remarry. It's not always independence, my dear ones. I'm one of those "undatables" that have been divorced since 1987. I was 31 years young at the time. Where dating was difficult for me (much less remarriage), is many of the fellas had very young kids. Yeah, I dated a couple of guys with little tots, but got tired of the drama that came along with it. What I realized, is these fellas allowed the drama, and I became their sounding board (gripin about their ex's). Long story short, I've been on a different page in my life than most of these fellas. I have no kids. I can certainly understand the sacrifices and lifestyles that parents with young kids must live. I love to travel, either most can't afford to, or they won't because of their kids. Most of these fellas aren't willing to meet me 1/2 way. That's ok - it's where they are at in their lives and where I am at in mine.

I wouldn't always blame "independence" for not being in a relationship. Relationships are complex, and IMO, there's not always "one" reason why one isn't in a relationship. Needs and wants differ in each individual, it's just a matter of whether we can "connect" or not.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Share Your Most Embarassing Moment on a Date!!!
Posted: 7/29/2007 5:25:48 PM
Hmm, I've written a book of "How To Make an Ass Of Yourself on a Date 101".

Here's some of mine:

#1 - met a fella who flew in from Dallas (I was living in San Antonio at the time). Not once, but twice, I called him by another fella's name. BUSTED!
#2 - my first BF after my divorce. I was going up to his apartment, wearing a jumpsuit. I bent over to get something out of the car. RRRRIIPPP. Geez, talk about instant air conditioning! Lucky me, I had a sweater in my car, so I wrapped it around my waise.
#3 - same BF as in #2 above. We were walking downtown San Antonio. I had panty hose on, but no knickers. My skirt blew above my head and I flashed the world. He and I looked at each other, and I said "well, if they haven't seen it by now, so be it".
#4 - same BF as in #2 above. I spent the weekend with him at his apartment. Damn commodes, they seem to never hold enough TP. Stopped up the bowl, it floods 1/2 of the apartment. We went through every towel and wash cloth.
#5 - BF in high school. We decided to get some hamburgers. Those plastic packages with mustard, catsup, etc. I'm working the catsup package, the next thing I knew, I squirted him in the face.
#6 - My ex husband. We were dating while @ Arizona State University. We ate in their cafeterias. Don't know what was in the food, but each night after dinner, I had major fart attacks. He finally learned to walk a couple of feet in front of me. So much for majoring in the Tuba.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
wtf??
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:39:37 PM
None of us will know 100%, since we're not inside her head. OP - I agree, "friends" don't get that passionate. Don't over-analyze this or beat yourself up over it. Just move on.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Return Stuff when Things Didn't Work Out
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:36:32 PM
Tell him he's got 1 week to pick up his crap or meet you somewhere in public or you auction it off on EBAY. You are not responsible for maintaining, much less keeping his crap.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Professiona left blank
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:34:49 PM
Profession left blank due to:
#1 - POF website went down when they entered their professions
#2 - they forgot what they do for a living
#3 - RAM (Random Access Memory)
#4 - their occupation isn't listed
#5 - they can't spell their profession
#6 - they have the most dangerous job in the world
#7 - they have the lowest paying job in the world
#8 - they have the highest paying job in the world
#9 - their occupation is illegal
#10 - they just got out of jail and forgot to collect their $200
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Does it really matter who makes more money???
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:30:25 PM
OP - prayfully your dog won't bite me Do I care what money a man makes (more or less)? I'd prefer that he and I'd be on the same page (values & outlooks) about money. If he's content making $9/hour washing dishes for the rest of his life, honestly, I'd say "houston, we've got a problem". If he can pay his obligations, live within his means, and has goals, that's what is most important to me.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Have we really become so independent that we don't need anyone?
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:19:47 PM
OP - good thread. I can't say I'm fully independent. What I can say about myself, is I don't "need" a man to complete me. I'm not desperate that I'm willing to settle. I'm whole and complete, and it gives me great comfort that if I'm in a relationship, should it crash & burn, that I can go about living my life.

I think "need" to some extent has gotten a bad rap. People associate "need" with being clingy, suffocating, or dependent upon someone else.

As much as we may want or feel some "need to have someone in our lives, what actually happens is this, every living thing dies alone. We come in this world alone and we go out alone.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Profile help by others over 50 please?
Posted: 7/29/2007 3:04:43 PM
OP - I think overall your profile is great. OLD (online dating) is a rough, tough, and tumble market at times. I don't get a lot of responses to my profiles either, but that doesn't worry me. I'd rather get few responses but from good men, rather than 100 responses from jerks.

Just think of the things that make you tick - things you envision doing with your sweetie, than mention those on your profile. You're not looking for your siamese twin, you're not looking for someone to take care of you, but you're looking for someone you can enjoy life with. On the pics, I agree with the other poster, put a head shot with you smiling.

Hang in there, good things happen to us that are patient!
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Whats this 1st date & I want a kiss bullsh*t
Posted: 7/29/2007 2:55:25 PM
OP - what an experience you've had. What I do on the first date is extend my hand out, to shake his hand, way before there's a chance for that "kiss" to happen.

If a fella thinks he's going to suck my face the first date, he's got something else coming to him - it might be a boink over his head with my purse
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Brittney Spears and Lindsay Lohan slams
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:53:11 PM
It's so stupid - they are getting all of this media attention. Do you really think any of us on POF, if we're having a melt down, would get this attention? Hmm, maybe there'd be a site for MELTDOWN.com

I honestly think some jail time is deserved and must be served. These are life choices that these young ladies made. What next? Someone is killed because of their wreckless behavior, is that what it will take to put the screws to these women? Seems that meltdowns are the "in thing". What a shame.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Passion: an intense emotion. Does it diminish with age?
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:50:42 PM
OP - getting older doesn't diminish passion. If it does, then we're done living. I think in different phases of our lives, passion seems to take on a new meaning. When there is passion, the soul is alive. Don't give up on passion. Sometimes passion is like the flicker of a candle, seemingly ready to blow out. Other times, it is like a blow torch. That's what life is all about!
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Just Be Yourself - good advice or a stock answer?
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:44:31 PM
OP - if we can't be ourselves, then what personality should one choose from
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Offerings
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:41:55 PM
Our offering explores the human capacity for giving ourselves to others. The world may be ruled by chaos, abused by the powerful, and sustained by the apathetic. If we live by the dictates of social and cultural forces, we fear, turn inward, disconnect ourselves, and hoard. As a consequence, we turn inward, we lose our caring for and connection with others. Sadness, depression and other illnesses come into play.

By making offering of ourselves, to others and to God, is a way of healing the wounded spirit. We give of ourselves and embrace others by fearlessly pouring out who we are and what we have onto the world. An offering is a radical gesture of love that taps into something almost magical among us – a spirit of connectedness which reminds us that in the human world, when we give we receive manifold. It is through offering that we can give our potential for selfless love.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
people using the threat of aging?
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:27:10 PM
OP - if a man said that to me, I'd walk his backside in a pair of cleats. Period, end of story. What a bunch of crap. Doesn't matter if that comes from a man or woman.

Just because someone is over the age of 35, doesn't mean we're put out to pasture. People need to get off their high horse and realize that their day of being "older" is coming. It's sad that older isn't appreciated, but each and every one of us have the power of changing that attitude, even if it means we have to do it one person at a time!
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
One out of two
Posted: 7/27/2007 4:24:33 PM
Nah, it doesn't mean anything sexual. I think it's a wonderful experience that you and your Ex were able to have some laughter, good talks, and a good time. Doesn't mean the romance will rekindle, but what it does mean is you aren't bitter enemies. Kuddos to you both!
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 55 (view)
 
I want what i want, so why do i feel guilty?
Posted: 7/27/2007 3:55:41 PM
Heidi - good thread, and there's some awesome posts by others as well. IMO, it's much better to be honest about what you want or don't want, despite internal feelings of guilt. You've got to be honest with yourself about what you truly want. From there, it will reduce the guilt feelings, until then, it's rough going.

Our Moms are from a different generation. You're right, they weren't as into the physical intimacy as we are. Personally, they took the "safe" but at times boring approach to life. Different times, different sets of values.

Today, women want it ALL. Can we have it all, ALL the time? Not always, having it "all" tends to see-saw back and forth, peaks and valleys. When you feel that something is "missing", I think it's your gut feeling telling you it's not right. Still, don't let this stop you from meeting someone.

I'm a believer that when I meet a fella who is so right for me, I know, and it's something I can't explain, I can't reason, therefore, I don't question. Don't feel guilty, don't apologize, in fact, don't even try to justify. Just keep truckin.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Another question about using your bathroom if we come to your place
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:27:32 PM
What the hell? Is this for real? Gee, don't know if it is worst to listen to someone who is taking a pee or taking a poo. No, I don't like hanging out by the bathrooms, besides, when one is through and opens the door, you don't know what scent could possibly follow
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Accountability
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:24:46 PM
To be held accountable requires strength and character. You'll find that some people are lacking in one or the other.

The world has become "fear based". All you have to do is turn on the news, watch CNN (Constantly Negative News), or talk with that cynical one standing next to you. Very few have "backbones", and those who do, are in full control of their lives.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Offerings
Posted: 7/26/2007 7:06:05 PM
Tramp - good thread. I think underneath it all, we're looking for the same thing: a companion, a friend, a lover, where we can grow together, share our lives with, lots of laughter, few tears, and grow old together.

Tis easy to hide behind the computer. There is no body language, there is no "threat" of disapproval (unless the Mods don't like our postings), technology becomes our security blanket.

When all is said and done, the best we can offer someone is ourselves. Be it good, bad, or indifferent. I live by the motto: WYSIWYG. Status, looks, and things don't define me as a person. To doubt ourselves? That my dear, is somewhat of a human trait, something we don't like to admit, but from time to time, it does surface. We make the best of what we do have, and live the good life - that is our Offerings. Just be ourselves, someone will love us just the way we are!
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 35 (view)
 
What does Over the hill mean to you?
Posted: 7/26/2007 4:10:14 PM
Over the hill means that I'm an Old Fart. I look like it, I act like it, and I smell like it I drive a Cadillac and my "fast" speed is 40 mph. I can't remember what my name is, much less where I live. My biggest expenditure is for Depends. When I go to bed at night, I have to put my teeth in a glass. I can't seem to fit in any clothing, so I wear a house dress. When you catch me at the store, I'll have pink curlers in my hair. My fashionable shoes are not Jimmy Choos, rather they are house slippers. My activity includes: shuffleboard, bingo, and clipping coupons.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Middle aged weight loss spokesperson drop-out OR what happened to Kirstie?
Posted: 7/26/2007 4:04:11 PM
I think Kristie Alley is busy. Actually, she does work with Valerie on this. Companies tend to change their spokesperson, and I don't blame them after awhile. It's always nice to see a fresh face.

Middle age is something to celebrate. We've earned our wisdom (by Life's Lessons), it means we can be more accepting of ourselves, and we're less influenced by what others think. When we know what we want in our lives, we have good attitudes, and live our lives to the fullest with grace and dignity, that beats out being on any cover, any day!

For me, I shy away from "plump". I refer to myself as "fluffy". Sounds cuter. I don't deny that I could lose a few pounds. I'm of Scottish/English/Irish descent (simply put Heinz 57), and women in my family are not petite. We are blessed with the "booty" as my brother refers to it. My ex BF referred to it as "more cushion for the pushin". I say work with what we do have, make the best of it. To dwell about being "perfect" is insanity.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Can we stop calling it an intimate encounter?
Posted: 7/26/2007 3:42:08 PM
Close encounters? Up close and personal? The Raging Hormones? IMO, it's just more letters to have to type with.

There's sex and there's love making. To do it with a stranger is what I refer to as sex. To do it with someone that I deeply care about and know, is what I refer to as love making.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Is He a Big Jerk, or am I Just an Idiot?
Posted: 7/25/2007 8:16:46 PM
Personally, you overanalyzed and probably assumed some things here. While you two probably talked about the good ol times, and took the walk down memory lane, doesn't mean that you both are on the page at this point in your lives. You may not have scared him off, only time will tell on that. Keep in mind, you two are very different people than you were at the age of 12. He's not a jerk, nor are you an idiot.

You both had a wonderful time, I wouldn't read any more into it than that, at this point. Go on about your life and if you hear from him, fine, if not, so be it.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
why does a guy contact u arrange 2 meet & not get back to u.
Posted: 7/25/2007 8:11:44 PM
#1 - he's suffering from alzheimers or some-timers
#2 - he blew up his computer
#3 - he's not that into you - don't take it personally. It's not like he's standing you up t the alter.
#4 - he was kidnapped by aliens
#5 - he forgot to pay his internet provider, hence he lost contact with the world
#6 - someone cut off his air supply

It happens to All of us with online dating. Don't take it personally, and don't let one indecisive apple ruin your day. There's plenty of others to pick from. Now, go out and enjoy the bountiful harvest!
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What's worng with a workaholic
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:36:56 PM
It's one thing if you're happy with YOUR life. Doesn't mean that your partner or future partner will be equally happy with your work schedule. There was a time when I worked 60-70 hour work weeks, I was young, and work seemed important. However, the older I've become, I realize, that there is so much in life that's more important than "work".

At your age, it's understandable, the kind of schedule that you have. When the time comes that you marry (or live-in) and especially if you raise children, you'll shift your priorities, you should. Otherwise, you'd be like a "roommate". While your schedule may "crimp" the dating style, that's a price YOU have to be willing to pay, after all, this is what you choose.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 19 (view)
 
bad habits re: grooming
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:29:37 PM
Please - no nails in my food. I like crunchy things, but it ain't nails.

Crap on the toilet? Well, if that's the case Mister, you'd better check your toothbrush, because that's what I've used to clean the toilet with. Simply put, clean up after yourself. I'm not your Maid! Besides, I don't want the Health Department to shut either of us down.

Hairs in the sink? Please. I don't want to feel that I can start a flower basket using hairs instead of coco moss.

Snotty kleenex? Ugh - I'm afraid of the Booger Man Hmm, reminds me of the saying from an old high school boyfriend "If your nose is kind of runny, and you think it's kinda funny, it SNOT"

There's a huge difference, IMO, between clutter and filth. Every example that OP has provided is filth, period end of story. I played the game of "Cooties" when I was in grade school, I'll be damned if I'll play that game now. I like a reasonably clean house. If he's "filth", love ain't gonna make a hill of beans of difference. I will pass on someone who has no pride when it comes to health.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Experience with Reversable morgages?
Posted: 7/25/2007 5:20:55 PM
Here's the scoop on reverse mortgages. Will I plan on getting one? Nope, as I plan on retiring in Belize. You can downsize without taking a reverse mortgage. As far as the furniture goes, it's just "stuff". This is a decision that you don't want to enter into lightly. Shop around for a smaller place, such as a condo, etc. that you can move into, and pay for with cash. Name of the game is "due diligence".
****************

A reverse mortgage is a loan against the equity in the home that provides tax-free cash advances, but requires no payments during the term of the loan. Since there are no monthly payments during the life of the loan, the balance grows larger and the equity gets smaller. Meaning the interest in accrued to your balance.

The loan is not due and payable until the borrower no longer occupies the home as a principal residence, e.g. the last surviving borrower sells, moves out permanently or passes away.

You must be at least 62 and own your own home or condominium in order to qualify for a reverse mortgage. There are no income or credit requirements to qualify. Based on the amount of benefit, which you qualify for, you may be eligible for a reverse mortgage even if you still owe money on your first mortgage.

Another benefit of these loans is that they are "non recourse," which means that no matter how high the loan balance grows, the borrower or their heirs never owe more than the home's market value.

The proceeds from a reverse mortgage can be used for anything: daily living expenses; home repairs and home improvements; medical bills and prescription drugs; pay-off of existing debts; education; travel; long-term health care; retirement and estate tax planning; and other needs you may have.

The proceeds from a reverse mortgage are available as a lump sum, fixed monthly payments for as long as you live in the property, a line of credit; or a combination of these options. The amount of benefit that you will qualify for will depend on your age at the time you apply for the loan, the type of reverse mortgage you choose, the value of your home, current interest rates, and, for some products, where you live. As a general rule, the older you are and the greater your equity, the larger the reverse mortgage benefit will be.

The costs associated with getting a reverse mortgage are similar to those with a conventional mortgage, such as the origination fee, appraisal and inspection fees, title policy, mortgage insurance and other normal closing costs. With a reverse mortgage, all of these costs can be financed as part of the mortgage. In other words, fees are collected at the back end or when the property is due. The interest on these mortgages are typically adjustable, so be clear with which types of ARM loans you are tied to.

You must first meet with an independent reverse mortgage counselor before applying for a reverse mortgage. The counselor's job is to educate you about reverse mortgages, to inform you about other alternative options available to you given your situation, and to assist you in determining which particular reverse mortgage product would best fit your needs if you elect to get a reverse mortgage. This counseling session is at no cost to the borrower and can be done in person or over the telephone.

Advantages of a reverse mortgage :

a) Avoid having to make mortgage payments and managing the account.
b) Cash out money upfront and still collect a monthly distribution of your equity.
c) No qualifying loan.


Disadvantages:

a) Slightly higher closing fees.
b) Fewer choices on the terms of the loan.
c) Have to qualify for the loan.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Sex and the change of life
Posted: 7/24/2007 7:52:15 PM
OP - no 2 women will suffer the same symptoms when it comes to the change of life. Like everything else in life, it is a gamble. One good thing about the change of life, once we're thru menopause, the chances of getting pregnant is slim to none, so we can afford to have more fun and let our hair down. However, safe sex is still recommended.

If you two have a great relationship that is progressing, don't be afraid to ask her questions. One thing you want to do, is make her life a little easier. Not just sexually, but be a good listener, and have some good romantic times (not just sex). When she's "down", pamper her.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Ladies, if you don't mind!
Posted: 7/24/2007 7:49:12 PM
I double click because I suffer from Parkinsons. Excue my mouse while I adjust it. Perhaps, I need to invent a mouse that isn't a double clicker
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
The truth about men and sex
Posted: 7/24/2007 7:47:50 PM
Oh dear, I thought this was another relevation about the cow and the pig. I'm so disappointed.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 39 (view)
 
I'm Fine!
Posted: 7/24/2007 7:46:07 PM
Depends on how she answers "I'm fine". If she sounds pissed in her tone, I'd say "if Mama ain't happy, no one's gonna be happy". It is what it is with the sexes. I'm even guilty of saying "I'm fine", when I'm really mad as hell. I won't simmer, I won't scream at you, or yell, however, at the same token don't get in my face. Let me have my solitude for awhile, then we'll sit down and talk about it.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Middle-aged men with younger children
Posted: 7/23/2007 6:48:40 PM
OP - I don't think it's necessary that you put the ages of your children in your profile. Your profile does state you have children. However, on the first email contact, you should mention how many you have and what their ages are. Other than that, you don't need to go into any detail. Folks with young children have to remember that you'll be in a different phase of your life than someone who doesn't have children or the children have grown. So be it, and you have to accept that it may limit your dating pool for awhile.

I agree not to introduce your children to every woman that comes along, not a wise idea. It is a package deal, and if your stage of dating progresses to the next stage, your S/O will have to be able to interact with your children. Part of getting to know you, is to also know your children, but at the right time.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Are you less spur of the moment than you were when you were younger?
Posted: 7/23/2007 5:02:40 PM
I'm afraid I'm more of "fly by the seat of my pants" type of woman. I'd really like to be at the stage in my life where "have passport will travel", unfortunately, I'm not there. It's more fun to do things at the spur of the moment instead of always having everything planned out.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 82 (view)
 
age and finances
Posted: 7/23/2007 5:00:24 PM
Wow - what a situation for the both of them. It seems like they both have made some serious financial mistakes. I think both of them need to go into this relationship with eyes and ears wide open. Perhaps, the two of them can take some financial courses together.

Women of today are sadly mistaken if they are buying into the "Cinderella"myth, and I call it a "myth". I guarantee that every woman at some point in her life will be responsible for her own financial well being. Granted, it's tough on women, because generally speaking we don't get equal pay and we live longer. So, no, we shouldn't count on Prince Charming to support us.

The woman in this scenario should not have left it up to her former hubby to provide life insurance, instead, she should've obtained it. Anytime, there are children involved, the breadwinner should have life insurance, to sustain the family until they are back on their feet.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Friends and Money
Posted: 7/23/2007 4:48:03 PM
No - thankfully so. My rule is I don't loan or give out any money that I can't "afford" to lose. People are unpredictable as to whether or not they will pay back. If you're lucky to get the dough back, it's usually on the terms of the person who borrowed it (their convenience).
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
What does, Family is important to me mean?
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:30:52 PM
Close knit family relationships are where folks are "there" for each other, through thick and thin. Yet a wise person, will also be able to put their marriage or S/O first, but may at the same time have to do a balancing act. Such as those in the "sandwich" generations.

BTW - family doesn't always mean parents and/or siblings. Family could mean your own children, and if nothing else the good ol loyal cat & dog.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Death do you talk about it?
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:25:02 PM
Death isn't something I'm dying to talk about.

Ok, seriously, in some cultures it is a celebration. Last year, my best friend/ex-roommate died after a long bout with a disease. He had been disabled since 1994, which reduced him to poverty status. Two months before he had passed, he told me that he was through with life, that he felt he no longer had a quality of life. All I could do was listen, I finally told him when he was through talking, that "I will miss you, but you know when it is your time to go.". I told him how much I valued our friendship, how much he brought joy to my life. When John did pass, he died with dignity, and I truly believe he was at peace.

I agree with Ant that people that are on their death beds do talk about their impending death. While it isn't the most pleasant subject to talk about, when folks need to talk about it, they simply need to be listened to. I think we all struggle with our own mortality. Death becomes the "unknown", we can't predict how or when we will die. Even based on our own religious beliefs, because we can't see it in black & white, nor can we feel it, we are curious about death, and yet it becomes taboo, partly because of fear.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 51 (view)
 
So Round So Firm & So Fully Packed! So whats the Problem!
Posted: 7/22/2007 8:17:29 PM
My problem is "middle age spread". It all spread to the hips & thighs Call me fluffy, but hey, you could say I have a "soft spot" to land on. Damn hips & thighs, I wished they'd go away.
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Ever Been Envious of Happy Couples?
Posted: 7/22/2007 4:03:56 PM
Nope - I'm happy for them. I've had some very happy relationships too, so I'm grateful that I've had them. My philosophy is "hope springs eternal".
 ksue44
Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
have I over-reacted?
Posted: 7/22/2007 4:01:54 PM
OP - no, I don't think you over-reacted. However, when your gut feeling started giving you red flags BEFORE you gave out your phone number, at that point you should've backed off. In the future, if things don't seem "right", you need to call it as you see it at that point, and don't go any further until you are comfortable.
 
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