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 Author Thread: Love and hate - are they opposites?
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
Love and hate - are they opposites?
Posted: 2/26/2008 3:23:44 PM
I would say "hate" is a much stronger word than what you seem to define it. I view hate as total hatred, like the feeling that if you ever see that person, you will rip them to shreds. Believe me, when feeling "hatred" you don't want that person even near you.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 96 (view)
What's up with Montreal men?
Posted: 2/25/2008 5:01:12 PM
It's funny that in my experience, I've met a lot more women players than men (and many of these women were proud of it ) But anyways, as was said, there's good and bad on both sides, and we shouldn't generalize.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 56 (view)
Letting go when you still want to f***
Posted: 2/24/2008 9:13:26 PM
sex= way too important for some people. I know it's a very important part of being with someone, but it is still just ONE part. I think that, however the sex may be, if there's nothing more there, I'd move on.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
Why Is It Wrong To Hate Being Alone?
Posted: 2/24/2008 9:11:14 PM
Personally, I just feel better being in a relation than being alone. I haven't had much experiences with relations, but that matters little. I do think that sometimes it is good for some periods of time to be alone (for example, after a bad break-up) but, too long and it just becomes annoying.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
Does breaking up after the first try ever work?
Posted: 2/24/2008 11:23:16 AM
My only break-up was final after one try.. We both thought about going back together... and then both concluded it would be a mistake. We're great friends now though.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
happiness for today
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:40:39 AM
I think that today I'm pretty happy with my life. All I would need to make it perfect is a good, long hug.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
Impatient men! Calm down a bit for better dating success. 1 woman`s view.
Posted: 2/24/2008 8:34:00 AM
I am one of those impatient people (about love anyhow) but I don't get angry, just frustrated. And sometimes it does seem like a race: at my age, I already see tons of guys who I knew who are getting married or have been in a serious relation for 3-4 years, and it seems like every girl I meet has already been with someone for forever and a half, and I'm not the type that will try to break a relation. She's with someone, she's with someone. And it gets frustrating seeing that you are still alone, and that you don't seem any closer to a good relation than when you were 13.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
Why this advice on moving on is so popular?
Posted: 2/23/2008 8:02:03 PM
My advice is always... COMMUNICATE.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
Is Monogamy Really Incompatible with Biology?
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:40:18 AM
I think you are right when you said

"So maybe the simple key to the successful relationship is learning how to be constantly reacquainted, to meet the changes in the individual with the same kind of warm feelings you first felt in getting to know them. Essentially finding out about “another person” that you would like and love if you would bother to notice the growth."

yes, that is the key. Learn to live each other every day, and learn to accept and appreciate changes on both sides. Learn to love the new person your partner is becoming, and follow them on that path they are taking, and they should also support and follow you on whatever roads of change you might take. It is one of the best examples of love and dedication people can show to each other.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
Interviewing for a Relationship
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:34:28 AM
True, I suppose. But it's still frustrating to know you have nearly everything...but just barely fall short of what the woman wants. In most cases that this has happened to me, I learned to be happy with the relation we had, and not seek for more, which is the best thing a guy can do in this situation.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
What do you think of this Atlantic article?
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:28:40 AM
Maybe some women aren't as shallow and stereotypical as you'd like to believe, life of leisure. Many women want more in a relation than material goods and financial security, just like many men want more than just sex.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
I write this with a heavy heart right now
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:24:56 AM
My friends (true or not) can be counted on one single finger. All those I had, left, and have their own lives where they probably have completely forgot I existed. Kind of sad, but that's the way life is.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
Interviewing for a Relationship
Posted: 2/23/2008 11:20:11 AM
This has happened to me a few times. However, I dislike the implication that men hang around women just for love-like relationships. I have some female friends who are very attractive, yet I would not want them in a relationship way, simply because there's some sides of their personalities I don't like too much. However, as friends, they are great.

And no- it's not "hoping she'll be attracted to him" it's- she's saying she wants a guy 100% like him.. but not him, for no good reason. It can be very frustrating for guys.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
An Angel's Death
Posted: 2/22/2008 7:06:11 PM
Yes, maybe a "dryad" would have been more appropriate, however I felt that "angel" created images and connections that were much deeper in most people (I am talking here about the classic "Pure" and "holy" images, rather than anything warrior-like) . This is a stand-alone piece, I wrote it to test myself at trying to write a piece of almost only description.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
Mens' Perception of Women
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:54:14 PM
And I'm a male, and I have no skills with my hands. I am not totally incapable, but I really dislike the physical. However, I am very emotional, I do cry sometimes and feel empathy and care and all those traits that are often given to women. I've also been called "gay" more than one time. However I'm 100% heterosexual and male.

So, yeah, stereotypes are stupid.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
What is it with girls in their 20s
Posted: 2/22/2008 6:41:38 PM
I think it's a stupid analysis. I know I don't fit with any of those man described here!
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
On somd dark days
Posted: 2/21/2008 9:16:40 PM
On some dark days I wish I was selfish.
On some dark star you dance in the light, with a loved one far away
On some dark thoughts you ride toward an uncertain future
On some dark imaginings you kiss the empty air, holding, in dance, nothing but a thought
On some dark wishes you would go to the end of the world to bring hope in a bottle
On some dark rains you let your tears fall, crying at the moon, for change
On some dark suns you smile again, because nothing has never been so good
On some dark clouds you fly, carrying the winds of love miles away from home
On some dark trees you cry, holding as if they were the one
On some dark roses you smell a fragrance of a person you wish was here
On some dark petals you count the days till you will be able to finally see
On some dark nights you are together, in the sea of thoughts
On some dark dreams you live together a most beautiful life
On some dark regrets you change the past, to meet before anything happened
On some dark thoughts you let the best things go, because your heart is too good
On some dark courages you take a deep breath, and wake up on the morrow
On some dark smiles you wish for the impossible.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
Do you believe friends are more important than lovers?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:18:34 PM
They are equally important, in their own qualities.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
Why do most guys want a woman who needs them?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:17:06 PM
I couldn't have said it better, Frau. I "need" a woman for similar reason: Love, companionship, sharing intimacies, someone that's there for me in all paths of life. And I would want a woman to "need" me for no other reason! Of course if she has other needs, I would help also, but those up there are the essentials.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 146 (view)
If You Could Fix One Mistake
Posted: 2/21/2008 4:09:42 PM
I would ask this one girl in high-school out. It probably wouldn't have worked, but at least I would have tried.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
No, it's not a 'lie'
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:39:20 AM
It really depends what we mean by "romantic love" I say I am a romantic and I mean nice walks in the park, sweet words and poems, flowers, loving time and INTIMACY with the Significant other. Some say "romantic love" is only passion, and for them it is. There's no one definition of what being romantic is.

But the fact that the best love requires intimacy passion and commitment definitely sounds right. My psychology book says the same! It feels right, and if you look at those three, it seems true that if one element is not there, it would not be quite a perfect love....
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 274 (view)
Have you really ever felt really lonely?
Posted: 2/21/2008 5:55:01 AM
I enjoy -some- alone time, but most of the time I feel really lonely. I have not had a close friends for 6+ years, and have not had a girlfriend for four or so. It gets very lonely having no one to talk to or relate to you or share your feelings with. I do have one internet friend now, and that makes it a bit better, but its still not the same as a friend you can see and hug.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
Exclusive or Not?
Posted: 2/20/2008 5:00:26 PM
Even in marriage you are allowed to have (friendly) relations with people of the opposite sex! I think someone must be a real control freak to forbid you to have friends of the opposite sex!

I think the "exclusive" talk is more about sexual relations (and I think that's what you meant, but wasen't clear) such as that your Significant other should not do certain things with members of the opposite sex, from flirting to complete sexual relations, depending on what kind of contract you draw.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
Lies.. lies... lies...
Posted: 2/19/2008 6:16:39 PM
I personally try to be truthfull, but a lot of people think I am younger than I say I am (they think I am 18 or younger sometimes!). I think it's just silly to lie. It's not like the person won't discover it if it gets more serious...
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
Our First Relationship is with Ourselves
Posted: 2/19/2008 4:21:15 PM
I love going outside, in a forest or other quiet nature place, and just look at trees and calm down breathing fresh air. Maybe not exactly what you were looking for, but it does me tons of good, and sometimes when I feel down, just spending that moment, alone with nature can make my day a whole lot better.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
What men and women seek and expect?
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:51:04 PM
I know that if I was old enough and had received these kinds of messages, I would have responded in some way. Anyways, personally, as long as a girl is nice, likes life and fun, and simply respects other people, I honestly ask for little more. Looks only matter very little to me.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 314 (view)
would you marry for money?
Posted: 2/19/2008 3:41:43 AM
The mere idea of me getting married for such a reason makes me sick.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
Do gentlemen still exist? I mean sweet gestures
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:22:35 PM
I always treat girls with respect and listen and all, and I also love writing poems and doing little gestures to show I love them. I do it without thinking really, its just how I am.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 942 (view)
Cheating- can you forgive?
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:13:11 PM
My only girlfriend cheated on me, and although I was very angry at her, time has passed, and we didn't see each other for a long time, but now we're talking again, and she's a great friend to have, and I have totally forgiven her.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
Marriage vs Dating
Posted: 2/18/2008 9:01:12 PM
I know that if I ever met a woman and we'd fit and both loved each other, I'd marry her in a heartbeat! I think it takes dedication and even speaks more that you care. What's the point of relationships if you don't share both the good time, and the hard times and the arguments? I think such things make relationships infinitely more precious.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 148 (view)
Adults living at home with Mom and Dad
Posted: 2/18/2008 7:25:43 PM
Yeah, I am 24 and currently studying full time. I pay a rent to my parents, and I just don't have time to work -and- study- and everything else. I know some people are able to do it, but I don't have that type of energy. Doesn't mean I can't date though, and if I was financially stable and independent, I'd have no problems dating a girl in similar conditions as I am now...
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
The transition from single to dating
Posted: 2/18/2008 6:52:26 PM
I know I've never had a date (high-school included) and the only relationship I had (a 6 months relation) was weird as hell. I really don't know a single thing about dating, which makes it hard to find someone at all. I find it very difficult, personally, and it makes me feel very socially awkward.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
Does Friends first ever really work?
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:54:01 PM
What I hate is when you are in love with a girl, and you become friends with a girl, and she friend-zones you. You know, when she says she sees you as nothing more than a friend, and you are madly in love with her, and then you can't say anything because it would break a great friendship?

I hate that.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:25:30 PM
Like a maelstrom of storm
Of confusion and love
and deep dark thoughts/revelations
at the end of a long road, a pot of gold
at the end of a dream is where we find sleep.
Home is waiting, somewhere on the river of soul
Understanding is near, some light-years above
A life of seeking, of lost wisdoms
Barriers are breaking, there's a reaching hand
What path to take? What drowning to choose?

"What lies beneath the title page?
A lover's quarrel, a poor man's grave."

So take that road of roads, and take note, my friend
Opportunity is waiting, carpe diem and all
And all the stars still singing poetry
Some of you and some of me
Take my hand then, I am reaching too
come on in now, don't be scared
the door's always open.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
An Angel's Death
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:23:49 PM
The pale moonlight dawned on the silver lake. A soft, clear drop of water slid gracefully along a green leaf's skin. The drop slid along, until it slipped off slowly, and fell into the lake, shattering the moon's image in a million crystals.

The night soon succumbed to the day, the sun replacing the moon, the stars fading away. Yet the scene stayed the same, the drops slowly falling in the lake's silvery expanse, causing infinite ripples, like some golden laughter.

A soft, white-colored material appeared close to the tree. Covered in an almost transparent silk, a woman which such beauty that words fail to describe. Her lips were the color of roses and her skin fair. She moved ever so quietly, her bare feet gracefully touching the grass. Her pearl-like hand bent down towards the lake, as she swept a handful of the silvery drink into her mouth.

Softly, she put her feet in the water, and after a moment, she lowered her whole body in the silver water. As she approached the middle of the lake, she began to sing a tune with such a beautiful melody, and her own voice, more than graceful. As she sang, the water seemed to become more clear, the sky more blue, the tree golden. A ray of light seemed to cover her whole body, as if every note she let out enchanted the whole land.

She advanced further into the lake, her body slowly sinking under the calm water, her voice fading away. When the last of her hair was gone, she was never seen again. The lake and the tree still stood there, water forever softly slipping in the lake, causing infinite ripples, as if a monument dedicated to time.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
Spliting the bill on the first meeting/ first date
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:48:36 AM
In my opinion, each should pay their own bill on any date. I don't want to date a prostitute, I am not gonna "pay" to spend time with her anywhere. It's not a matter of being cheap, it's a matter of hey, if we both want to be together, let's both put effort and money into it. Shows much more dedication from both parties that way, imo.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
Posted: 2/18/2008 5:44:25 AM
I've seen mostly women post about this, but I have a similar problem. By nature I seem a bit reserved and shy, and that turns off many women. Just because I'm reserved doesn't mean I am weak, or lack self-confidence!

On the other hand I am one of those guys the girls here seemed to have problems with- Sometimes, the girls I see are just so gorgeous that I assume they must be taken, and so I don't approach them. I'm also probably one of the worst interprets of body-language.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
Three as way of Sorrow
Posted: 2/14/2008 6:56:21 AM
Three as way of sorrow

A first act of darkness
One is lost
One is alone
A separation, a breach (a kiss)

And adoption, adaptation,
Addiction, dependence
Like a dark drug (of love)

Rejection is next,
A second act
Alienation, depression
Suicide attempts (of understanding)

Drugs are taken, drugs are refused
The soul comes slowly back
Wounded, but whole
And communication fails
Because you are normal no more (with everyone else)

A third act then
Of seeking, of searching
Legendary wonderers of truth
Wanderers of loneliness
You find yourself in the dark
And though nothing went right
You find yourself
Hoping, Hoping. (an almost holy form of communication)
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
Posted: 2/14/2008 6:44:43 AM
I love writing poetry, and have done so quite often in the past. I suppose this will be my own little area of poetry. Feel free to appreciate, hate, and tell me so!

Here is a poem called "Because I see"

Because I see
The darkness of the sun blinds me
Because I see, because I see
A step away from the abyss
A thought away from the fall
A word away from the end
From the end of it all

And then one darkness
And one forest
One deep hole
And one sweet cord

The bitter breath
Revives the soul
An angry sigh
A raging mind

But in a fist
An hidden light
A faerie, a bird
A secret life, a secret dream
A never-ending hope
Which sometimes hides
But never disappears.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 616 (view)
X-Japan "Art of Life"
Posted: 2/14/2008 6:40:50 AM
Artist: X-Japan
Song: Art of Life

Desert Rose
Why do you live alone
If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life
Are you white, blue or bloody red
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand

The winds of time
You knock me to the ground
I'm dying of thirst
I wanna run away
I don't know how to set me free to live
My mind cries out feeling pain

I've been roaming to find myself
How long have I been feeling endless hurt
Falling down, rain flows into my heart
In the pain I'm waiting for you
Can't go back
No place to go back to
Life is lost, Flowers fall
If it's all dreams
Now wake me up
If it's all real
Just kill me

I'm making the wall inside my heart
I don't wanna let my emotions get out
It scares me to look at the world
Don't want to find myself lost in your eyes
I tried to drown my past in grey
I never wanna feel more pain
Ran away from you without saying any words
What I don't wanna lose is love

Through my eyes
Time goes by like tears
My emotion's losing the color of life
Kill my heart
Release all my pain
I'm shouting out loud
Insanity takes hold over me

Turning away from the wall
Nothing I can see
The scream deep inside
reflecting another person in my heart
He calls me from within
"All existence you see before you
must be wiped out :
Dream, Reality, Memories,
and Yourself"

I begin to lose control of myself
My lust is so blind, destroys my mind
Nobody can stop my turning to madness
No matter how you try to hold me in your heart
Why do you wanna raise these walls
I don't know the meaning of hatred
My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love

Stab the dolls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood
Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"
Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure
And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart
Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
on the wall of time, over pain in my heart
Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now
But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying

Close my eyes
Time breathes I can hear
All love and sadness
melt in my heart

Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my walls

You can't draw a picture of yesterday, so
You're painting your heart with your blood
You can't say "No"
Only turning the wheel of time
with a rope around your neck
You build a wall of morality and take a breath
from between the bricks
You make up imaginary enemies and are chased by them
You're trying to commit suicide
You're satisfied with your prologue
Now you're painting your first chapter black
You are putting the scraps of life together
and trying to make an asylum for yourself
You're hitting a bell at the edge of the stage
You are trying to kill me

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live, Do I try to love
in my dream

I'm breaking the wall inside my heart
I just wanna let my emotions get out
Nobody can stop
I'm running to freedom
No matter how you try to hold me in your world
Like a doll carried by the flow of time
I sacrificed the present moment for the future
I was in chains of memory half-blinded
Losing my heart, walking in the sea of dreams

Close my eyes
Rose breathes I can hear
All love and sadness melt in my heart
Dry my tears
Wipe my bloody face
I wanna feel me living my life
outside my mind

Dreams can make me mad
I can't leave my dream
I can't stop myself
Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?

I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for
Art of life
I try to stop myself
But my heart goes to destroy the truth
Tell me why
I want the meaning of my life
Do I try to live? Do I try to love?

Art of life
An Eternal Bleeding heart
You never wanna breathe your last
Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I'm feeling for
A Rose is breathing love
in my life
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
Who makes the first move?
Posted: 2/14/2008 5:39:07 AM
I always feel, as a guy, that I have to make the first move. It's hard for me to do so though, simply because I am always a bit shy with people at first. I have never been approached by a woman, and when I hang with friends, it seems the same way with them, that they (the guys) have to approach the girls first. I guess it's some kind of social stereotype, but a mostly true stereotype in my experience.
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 76 (view)
Describe what kind of lover you want in one word.
Posted: 2/14/2008 5:34:57 AM
I'm gonna say

open-minded (and no I'm not talking about sex!)
Joined: 1/29/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
real life and internet?
Posted: 2/14/2008 5:12:31 AM
Well, I have had no luck in real life with women, (I guess the shyness part of me just doesn't attract anyone), and Might as well try something on the net also, no?

Though I haven't been lucky on that side either!
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