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 Author Thread: Men, would you date a woman who is pregnant? Why or why not?
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Men, would you date a woman who is pregnant? Why or why not?
Posted: 1/9/2017 8:42:30 AM

You can't wait a few months?


If you had kids you would actually know that a few months after having a baby the single mother is going to be TIRED!! New babies require feedings every 2h for almost the first month till their digestive systems can tolerate something more substantial and slower digesting like rice meal. Dating while pregnant at least gives the mother the opportunity to meet potential suitors while she is still in essence 'free to do so'. In fact if there is enough time to actually meet and settle on someone before the baby comes she might just have the extra help she may need (depending on how good of a relationship she has with her own family). And having that extra help is a huge advantage. And that would be assuming parents are free to leave work to assist.

I recommend dating when ever you are comfortable to do so, pregnant or not. Life waits for nobody, but no one should rush in either.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Please review my profile
Posted: 11/28/2016 7:30:42 PM
Don't let OLD make you frustrated. You aren't the only one that gets no responses. You can come here and get the A-OK from every single person and still not get any responses regardless of what you say or what pictures you take. Just being male puts you at 3 strikes automatically. ANYTHING will set a woman off and have her skipping to the next profile. My advice, have no expectations what so ever unless you expect an empty inbox, you can expect that. Seriously nothing wrong with you, it really seems the majority of women out there have unrealistic expectations or a fantasy boyfriend they put you against and nobody seems to measure up. Likely you would have far better chances in the real world instead.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile Review Request.
Posted: 11/28/2016 7:20:32 PM
You're hot and all. I am surprised you are even here. Though from what I read at this point in time, your profile looks fine. Typically women in the US don't say much at all and rely on their pictures or have a long diatribe on what they don't want messaging them. I hope you have better luck with your profile after revamp.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
The greatest age to be single.
Posted: 11/28/2016 7:12:22 PM
I'm with you basilisk123. Seems to be just women in this area (we are relatively close). 95% of their profiles are "I'm a country girl lookin for my cowboy. I love huntin, fishin, muddin and bonfires. " I'm like "seriously? I doubt you have ever been hunting much less even know how to process a deer. You might have been fishing and muddin once, but doubtful you even baited your own hook. And who doesn't like bonfires?" It's like all these women are collaborating on what to put into their profiles. They seriously need to lay off this sh!ty modern "country music" as it creates a fantasy ideal boyfriend. Hell I'd like "huntin, fishin and f#ckin every day" too.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 4 (view)
 
dad says go find rich girl. lol
Posted: 11/28/2016 7:02:25 PM
I would love to find a woman who earns way more than 50k a year (my income). Maybe I won't need to work so much then, or get a local job working for walmart. I honestly have no idea how to attract a woman who makes more money than I do..... I am having trouble just attracting a woman period. If you are at least getting girl friends you got far more working in your favor than I do. Now I am jealous.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Closing Out 2016 - Has Your Outlook Changed?
Posted: 11/28/2016 6:58:44 PM

Has Your Outlook Changed on your dating situation in general? Have you decided to play a different strategy in 2017?


Outlook hasn't changed. Still don't expect to find any messages in my inbox. The only change I am trying to make is to sound like a douche bag. Perhaps that might improve my odds.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 22 (view)
 
come here-go away and how to stay the hell away from it
Posted: 11/28/2016 6:53:45 PM
Not reading through every single post, not enough time. But if you are seeing a pattern from different women each time, maybe it isn't them. Perhaps it is you, the common denominator in all of these relationships.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 3 (view)
 
New to the Dating Scene. Would Appreciate some help.
Posted: 11/19/2016 1:50:09 PM
No response is a response, get used to it because this section of the forums is FULL of men saying the same thing. Pick a thread, any thread and read it. The most important thing about internet dating is it's shallow. Though as Forums_only has pointed out with a quote from your profile, that would be the proverbial knife you are cutting your throat with. Don't get me wrong, there are plenty of loose ladies around (frankly I haven't met any from this site but I assume there are(in fact I have only met 3 women in over 4 years going on 5)). Ladies who are actually seeking a mate (the mass majority aren't here for actual dating mind you or sex but this is an entirely different topic all together) aren't in the least interested in FWB. With that last sentence you are pretty much telling every woman that reads your profile that you would sleep with them and string them along till someone better comes along. At least that's the way they will read it.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I'm almost 30! What's up POF?
Posted: 11/19/2016 1:35:42 PM
You're quite optimistic OP. Perhaps after you have been here half a decade that optimism will begin to fade. Welcome to the forums though. At least here, you can get into some actual conversation.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Who is the moron who puts the random pics of women up on top of the message page?
Posted: 11/19/2016 1:30:06 PM
Let me help you out Whatsamattababy by posting something toward the 10 needed to allow you to post once more. Don't forget you have an edit option too if your previous post wasn't posted too long ago.

Anyway.... lovepotion is it? You're a "Muslim"? How come your profile says you're non-religious? What kind of infidel are you? More of a trollfidel perhaps? Pitiful one at that, because all of these other forumites are professional trolls when they want to be. You, aren't even a freshman at best. Don't give up your day job, if you even have one.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 45 (view)
 
when you say your not interested?
Posted: 11/13/2016 9:11:31 AM
I have received a rejection once. ONCE. I wanted to at least thank her for being polite but chose against it. There was no point. She was polite enough to state that I was not what she was looking for. Some people can take rejection. Some of us are plain used to it and expect it. No response is a response. Pretty sure OP isn't coming back here at all, but maybe it will serve another who is wondering the same thing. Polite is appreciated, but it is such a rare occurrence that it truly is better to NOT respond than to due to the @$$holes who take everything so personally. Even though it is.


I'm more apt to want to meet a guy the antiquated, prehistoric way...IRL by traditional circumstances. I feel like it's more organic and the times that I have met any guy that way there has been a better connection.


My problem with this is, my job has me ALL over the US. And it is in industrial settings. IF there were women on the job site, they typically are not physically what I find attractive. And I am not a bar fly, I don't like clubs, and a certainly am not religious (as much as my mother would love me to meet someone at church, I avoid the ones who speak of God in their profiles for this reason so as to not waste each others time). Meeting offline is very difficult for me as when I am free and home, I really just want to be home for the short while I have. Online dating is about the only way I can meet outside my circle.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Why is it so hard to get conversation from some men?
Posted: 11/12/2016 2:25:46 PM

It doesn't have to be, if you bring up something that the person likes. That way, you aren't like so many of the other solicitors. That's what I always try to do. Best way to gain their interest, unless they like your appearance regardless.


I quite often ask about things they like.... or at least I assume they like. Such as, they list a dog under pets. "What kind of dog have you got?" would be one of the questions. Usually 2 or 3 questions they can choose from or answer them all..... Unfortunately they all find me unattractive apparently since no one responds anyway.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Dem and Rep relationship...
Posted: 11/11/2016 7:35:35 PM
Anything is possible.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Profile Review
Posted: 11/11/2016 7:44:14 AM
Sad thing about humor on sites such as this is that it is often misconstrued. I almost completely omitted it entirely because my humor was once stated "above the average woman's intellect". Very frustrating to have jokes and for them to be misinterpreted, not understood, found unfunny or all of the above. It is a difficult thing to pull off. Even when you try to include humor in your messages. Fact is everyone loves to laugh, problem is the women you message on this site will continue to expect joke after joke from each and every message like you're a stand up comedian just to keep their attention. And believe me they have VERY short attention spans (apparently so do guys). It is so much easier for them do dismiss you for ANYTHING and claim there are no decent men, than to respond and take a chance on happiness.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 11/9/2016 5:57:26 PM
I certainly don't have unrealistic expectations. Over the years I have only one expectation. An empty inbox. ABBRACADABRA!!!! It is magically empty every time I log in.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Why is it so hard to get conversation from some men?
Posted: 11/9/2016 5:47:02 PM
Personally I have no trouble speaking to women. Talk about anything really. But I experience quite similar things with women in my area. IF by some holy miracle a woman replies/sends a message it is quite often "Hi", or "Hey" or just about any other monosyllabic greeting that could exist. If they replied, they generally just answer a question with as few words as possible, then no more messages after that. Conversation on this site is seriously difficult to attain for anyone who can string together more than a couple of words into coherent sentences. I agree with Walts in regards to people using text speak when they have entire keyboards at their fingertips, but still choose to abbreviate every word into some illiterate b@stardized version of communication (phucking swear word filter, look I have to do it too Walt). I don't think that our schools have spelling or grammar class anymore either. I feel for our futures as we get older and our children start to run things......


A lot of men on POF aren't here to invest in anyone (or potentially invest), they're here to be selfish. IMO.


Not all of us. But I feel you, as it feels the same way in regards to women who are near me (within 100 miles). Maybe I am unattractive as I have played the numbers game and lost.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 7 (view)
 
If this is the woman card, deal me in
Posted: 11/9/2016 5:37:23 PM
LOL!!! Drag up old posts much Butter?
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Attitude restrictions.
Posted: 11/6/2016 7:33:20 AM
Not getting responses is the norm here. Just as Danimal stated, the ladies here have over inflated egos, for the most part. The fact is, they can get ANYONE that messages them. And in my experience, women want what they cannot have. By sending them a message you acknowledge they can have you. It literally is the catch 22. My advice, either work on your profile and pictures plus yourself or give up entirely as this literally is a superficial method of meeting anyone. There are adonis' ....adonisi .... adonisis .... (what is the plural?) with bodies near the peak of perfection with looks to match who are sending the same ladies you are messages. What makes you stand out? A shirtless bathroom selfie?
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Approach anxiety.
Posted: 11/6/2016 6:18:51 AM
Heard of SecondLife. Never experienced it. I don't believe in dumping too much real money for virtual stuff, but apparently what I read on that game is that there are people who make a living designing furniture, clothing and all sorts of customizable things in that virtual world. Personally I prefer to stick with my adventure games when I have time to play, and leave social interactions for actual real life social interactions.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Men, would you date a woman who is pregnant? Why or why not?
Posted: 11/6/2016 6:09:04 AM
It would for the most part depend on how far along she is. Third trimester, I would think it best to wait till after you get your child past the 2h feeding stage and you are rested. Not enough time to really form much of an emotional bond really at that point. 2nd trimester, more likely. And first trimester, you are probably still getting over the father but I might bite still. Fact is, I am interested in dating the woman, not her condition, so to speak. Things happen all the time. And when dating someone you have to accept them as they come, or don't.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Warning to the Ladies
Posted: 11/6/2016 6:02:19 AM

I don't care about putting anyone on blast or humiliate them if they wrong me. He full well deserved it. We women must take a stand and not allow such injustice from men. I mean don't they be jerks all the time? Why don't we just turn the tables if you will and show them that we are NOT the weaker sex? And besides, if he didn't like me, he didn't have to ask me out. After all, he messaged me first. I wasn't even talking to no one here for months despite my inbox getting messages.


Not all men are jerks, and definitely not all the time. Just like not all women are only after a mans wallet, or c$%k or baby batter. But there are women who are after these things and use any means necessary to get them, and have for thousands of years. So why turn tables? Sounds to me like the table has already been turned.

Neither sex is stronger or weaker. In fact we are both stronger together. Too bad that isn't actually understood.

Anything can be said in a profile, so him "liking you" was most likely what you previously stated in your profile. He wouldn't know if he "liked" you till you two actually met. Apparently he didn't like you for what ever reason. As a man I am used to this sort of rejection. But hey, at least you actually got to meet him. Something we as males don't get the luxury of 101% of the time. Just because you didn't get the memo of WHY doesn't mean you deserve to know WHY. Welcome to equality.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Holding Onto Your Virginity an Issue
Posted: 11/5/2016 2:02:27 PM

Don't think OP is serious. He doesn't even seem to be into guys.


Mean, but LOL.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 556 (view)
 
Anybody get frustrated with not getting responses?
Posted: 11/4/2016 7:06:55 PM
LJane_6 If you were within the 100 mile radius of my searches you could have bet I would have tried contacting you. Of course I never hold my breath for a reply, but you would have possibly seen my message unless your inbox was so incredibly full you would have missed it at the time. And I really only contact each woman once. If my message was missed for some reason, we both missed out. But many times they do view my profile, they just so rarely ever respond.

I have read back quite a few pages. Quite a few thoughts have passed through my mind too and 90% of them have now escaped me. But the biggest issue that it seems to be is, that most of the women have such tunnel vision of what they want that they can't see what could be potentially perfect for them when its right in front of them. They have such impossible lists for men to live up to that no one will ever fit the bill. The fact of the matter is, when a list of requirements is used it narrows the field so much that the net being cast is so small one will never catch anything. For online dating to really work a person needs an open mind and heart. There are many men who do take time and put thought into their messages only to be ignored. I am one such man. It makes one question their attractiveness all together when rejected by 100% of the women.

I am well over a thousand in contact messages sent and my response rate has been well below 1%. And when an actual message is replied to the expectations from the woman are again impossibly high to live up to. If you tell a joke they expect you to be a stand up comedian and keep them laughing. Which of course I fail to do apparently because the correspondence ends by my second message to them in which I try to get a little bit of info from them. Like "How has your day been today?" Or "What kind of dog/cat have you got?" Just anything to maintain a conversation a bit to get to a third message in which I would ask them if they would like to meet sometime. Can't reel the fish in immediately just because the bobber moved once. Gotta make sure it is on the line before you hookem. And in my area nearly EVERY woman likes "Huntin, Fishin and Muddin"(it is literally in 95% of the profiles)...... I swear they put that just trying to attract guys, but I doubt very many of them actually do... well muddin quite likely. But that really depends on the guy having a 4x4 truck in the first place. Rarely do these ladies have the means to go mudding themselves, they want the man to expend all of the resources for their entertainment. I wish a woman would invite me to go muddin. Maybe I am just not considered "man enough" because I didn't put "Huntin, Fishin, Muddin" and such as interests. I think it's just way too cliche. I am country, but I don't need to advertise it.... I also don't listen to country. I am more rock, metal and alternative. And there are country guys who prefer these genre of music.

Of course there was a woman (maybe a year ago) that responded to my comment of the amount of messages I sent stating "I have been on over 600 dates....blah blah"(you would need to go through my message history but I seem to recall her being OzSeaLady or something). She is a woman, she has that luxury. Men on PoF do not unless they are just absolutely gorgeous, rich and have awesome 4x4 trucks. I wish I had the problem of needing to screen through my inbox. I definitely would have found a woman by now and been long gone possibly.

In short, it isn't just the lack of responses from ladies who have been on the site for as long as I have (some longer as I have deleted my profile and remade it before). It is also maintaining a dialog that is a big issue too.

And I swear... that "Log in automatically" check box is absolutely USELESS!!
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Approach anxiety.
Posted: 11/3/2016 5:25:09 PM
Diablo 2 was the best. 3 just doesn't quite compare but it does make a pale comparison. Unfortunately if any activity still exists with 2 it's mostly just bots. Loved 1 back in the day and occasionally break it out on playstation emulator. Haven't played any witcher games at all, yet. Also have the unofficial expansion (Hellfire) for Diablo 1 which made things quite a bit more interesting and added another major boss to the game. Not to mention changed the farmer into a complete nut wearing a cow suit. But you had to edit the command.txt file to enable the cowquest.

I haven't owned a console system since PS1. I was really burned up when they decided not to allow backward compatibility with 3 and 4 which is why I don't care much for console systems anymore. With my computer, I can always upgrade it and any games I have for it still work. Even the really old ones like the ancient Sierra games (King's Quest, Hero's Quest, Space Quest, Police Quest). <----- those were REAL games and they made players think outside the box nearly every time, not to mention one had to be a total geek to succeed in them because you needed to know your fairy tales and myths and legends because of the puzzles and character interactions in them. They don't make games like those any more. Also you had to know how to spell (something that is inherently lacking now days) and structure sentences since the interactions required one to type out the actual interaction required. Examples: "eat the small bowl of porridge" "ask about the dragons head." "throw the can of dehydrated water at the monster" "handcuff the drunk behind his back" All actual commands one used from each game I listed. Wasn't much of the point and click like there is now and it automatically does everything for you.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Approach anxiety.
Posted: 11/2/2016 7:38:37 PM
And he is the one gone. Reporting anyone is wasted effort as I haven't seen anything come of it other than trolls. Well he's gone. We can continue the gamer comments here since the other thread locked out. Who else is a gamer here? Currently I play Diablo 3 HC Seasonal on US server. Though I play more than just blizzard games, I just don't have much time for anything long and drawn out like WoW anymore. And definitely not as drawn out as EQ was back in its day. Those were real raids.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Define a good profile that'll get attention.
Posted: 11/2/2016 4:11:19 PM
Pretty sad. He definitely doesn't have thick skin.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Requesting profile review/help.
Posted: 11/2/2016 4:05:57 PM
Don't worry about the tests in the least. Hardly anyone is going to pay attention to them in the first place. Sorry to say but you wasted your time taking it to begin with.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Define a good profile that'll get attention.
Posted: 11/1/2016 6:37:30 PM
It's not messaging the wrong women. There are just over 5000 people in my town, and it is the county seat. In other words all other towns in the county are smaller. I have contacted more than 1/5 of the population of my town in ladies from surrounding areas. 100 miles is not a small radius. In the simplest terms I have just about contacted EVERY woman surrounding me that has a profile here. And could you honestly say "well then you are contacting out of your league" (I know someone is thinking it)? If so, then you are saying I am unattractive. I only contact women I find remotely attractive and often pass on those I consider to be 9s or 10s because they already get loads of messages. When the average ladies pass on me, I have no chance with those fake profiles. So in other words I message the ladies at least 5 or greater (just to put a gauge on it.... which isn't possible as everyone finds different things attractive so the scale really means nothing but they are 5s to me, straight average). I also avoid any woman that puts God first too. F$%^ God. He made me want a relationship with a woman only to make me unattractive to them. And I have plenty of confidence. I am quite confident of my unattractiveness to women. You say we are not unattractive, but yet the lack of responses from local ladies say otherwise. Hubris is one of my few weaknesses. That and my inability to bench press 1000 lbs. But that one gets most guys.

Just as the 2nd message states, the ideal profile for a man is to look like a model. I am tempted to ask a model friend if I could borrow a couple of his pictures and make a profile just to see what kind of response it gets. I would put it right in the middle of Houston, but he used to live there so that would not be a good idea. And I could put all about video games, movies, and eatting junk food I want in it and I bet you it would get replies from women contacted.

I did make a female profile once just to see what would happen. No picture, no about me written and within hours it was already getting messages. Pretty sure it still might be. Though that was more than 4 years ago. So I have a slight idea of what ladies go through, though I did not bother really reading the messages the profile got. Was no point, my test was a success. Women don't have to put much effort into this just to get responses. Desirable responses is a totally different issue and I feel for you. But some of us guys are legitimate in our desire to meet and greet single ladies. Shame that desire isn't reciprocated.

I am truly under the impression 90% of the ladies on PoF are shallow, and are holding out only for the best looking of men. The other 10% are driven off by horn balls, develop enlarged craniums due to high response rate becoming part of the 90, or meet an actual good looking AND nice guy the first time just to abandon their profile (and great for them, I hope nice guys do win once in awhile, too bad not this one). I used to have no trouble back when I was younger and more athletic looking. I could walk up to nearly any woman back then, introduce myself, shake her hand and very likely get a date. If I try that now at my age, I get puzzled looks and snide remarks. Women seem to have become far more jaded as they get older and become less approachable in public. They also don't like being picked up while at work, or while shopping. I am also not a bar fly. So short of that, and working 10-16h days 6 or 7 days at a time, I don't have much time to spend out in the real world looking for romance. Which brings me here.

Women want men with money. Well I have it, I just don't have a whole lot of time to devote to them like they want. The men who do, don't have money and barely make ends meet. Can't have it both ways. I see the requirements in ladies profiles around me quite frequently "Must have a home (4br, 2.5bath, 3000sqft house all to myself), must have a car (It may be 90s model but it still runs well, I don't see a reason to get rid of it yet and it still looks decent) , must have a job (I have an excellent industrial construction job)". I have tried contacting them too. Stating I have a house (no rent), I have a car, I have a job (without the specifics I have given because that would just be bragging and who likes a braggart). Still ignored. I am willing to take a smaller paycheck if the right woman were to come along. Hell I'd work for Wal-Mart if it meant I could get a date. But that would mean taking a pay cut of 50k a year at least, if not more. My job is in high demand, and the only limit to my earning potential is that annoying requirement of sleep. I left engineering for the construction industry because there was more money to be earned by the hour than by salary, and the hours are just about the same with less headache.

Trust me when I say, I am apparently just unattractive to women. I think I would be better off giving up on american women all together and just pay the money for a foreign bride. I would likely get far more respect, and devotion from one of them and be appreciated to boot.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Does this sound like a lame date?
Posted: 11/1/2016 4:54:34 PM
Just because you are at a movie doesn't mean there isn't a brief moment that you can blurt out a perfectly timed comedic comment. When I was actually good looking and had an athletic build I had a date with a coworker. I think the movie was Darkness.... can't quite remember but toward the end a bad man injected the leading ladies 'boyfriend' with an an anesthetic, or something to take him out of commission. At that moment (since no dialog was going on in the movie at the time) I blurted out "Awww don't go down like that, you shoulda kicked him in the nuts." It had nearby people rolling and of course that gave me bonus points with the lady. So just because it's a movie doesn't mean there isn't potential boost your appeal with the lady..... unless she is one of those "we must watch all movies in silence types"..... then you might not.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How ugly am i
Posted: 11/1/2016 4:23:17 PM
Check your profile review. I posted our biggest photogenic weakness there. Besides the fact I loathe posing for photos in the first place. They steal your soul !!!
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Is conversation this hard at our age?
Posted: 11/1/2016 4:19:29 PM
Personally I feel my messages are not that lacking either and they get ignored 11 out of 10 times. The 11th is the one I didn't send, because she is religious and I definitely am not. But I am quite confident she would have ignored me too. But oddly enough I have found that in the off chance a woman sent me a message (and every time I really don't have a physical attraction to them) it was usually "Hey" or "HRU" or some other monosyllabic message one would expect from a cave person. I always reply back, because it is only polite and nothing else going on when I do come here. Again I read their profile, talk about things they have as interests and I barely get responses back still. I honestly think the art of conversation is starting to become so inbred from modern texting lingo and such that when an actual structured sentence is received their minds are totally blown, (like in those commercials with peoples crowns popping and purple smoke comes out) and they just don't know what to do anymore. The only place within POF one can remotely get a conversation is in the forums. Am I speaking english? I totally think I am. I mean I have seen on websites where you choose your language there are 2 options for english, US and UK..... maybe I am speaking the queens english instead of murican? Perhaps that is the problem?
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Thread review please :)
Posted: 11/1/2016 3:56:56 PM

Of course, don't change it, but again it's just something you need to keep in mind moving forward with this site when you're wondering why your results are not what you may have been expecting.


My advice, don't expect a thing. This leads to disappointment. And as shallow as the majority of the people on this site are, disappointment is the only expectation you can expect when you are expecting positive results. Positive thinking does not transfer very well into online dating like it does face to face. I won't butter you up for this, but will put a hot knife to a raw nerve to help kill it off for you. That is the best compassion you can be truly be offered. Again, don't expect results. Send messages till you are blue in the face. Being a pessimist means you are NEVER disappointed. And should you get a response you get the joy of surprise. These two things, optimists never get to experience.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Define a good profile that'll get attention.
Posted: 11/1/2016 3:45:38 PM
Having a picture is better than nothing. But as I said, the women on this site are more interested in what they cannot have than what they can. You like I are more likely better off picking up women offline than on. With the lack of responses we receive here we might as well be considered ugly. But I am not gay, nor a woman so I am not the best judge of what is considered attractive when looking at men. I have sent probably more than one thousand messages (within a 100 mile radius), and the mass majority I only messaged once. I have only had 3 dates, and that was when I weighed about 40lbs more than I do now more than 3 years ago. Nothing since. Can this many women be wrong? I don't think so. This like all dating sites are quite literally 100% based off of looks, very little to do with profile content. That's why it is so important to have a picture up. At least I can now put a face to a profile. Our biggest weakness seems to be our lack of smiles.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile is a little generic. Could use some help. Cheers
Posted: 10/31/2016 5:32:41 PM
Well you have already edited your profile. Other than getting better pictures up you are off to a good start. You left me curious to know more about you, though we aren't each others type. :D Pictures are the most important thing you could do for your profile. It is one of the hardest things I have to do. I loath posing for pictures. I find it a waste of time stopping what I am doing to have one taken, even as short of a time as it takes. But you do what you gotta do. A good face shot and a body shot go a long way. And taking out the contact info is already another good thing as this site is 100% free, no need for outside contact info until you have established a rapport. And even then, it should be your phone numbers for a most direct method of arranging a date.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Profile review requested
Posted: 10/31/2016 5:17:20 PM

– makes me feel like I am applying for a job or something.


In a way, you are. With online dating you are on a constant performance review, and the job (potential dates) are on the line. This is far tougher for the average guy. Personally I consider myself average too even though I am told I am athletic. I am just not the "less than 6% body fat" I once was in my 20s. Maybe that works against me too, I can't say as I am not a woman to know what women want to see. But having been on this site going on over 4 years (and not much luck either) and having been on these forums at times I have learned that pictures are 99% of your profile. I would say I don't take good pictures, but the pictures are fine, its my face apparently that ruins them.

As far as content of your profile, someone besides me is likely going to tell you to get rid of the first 3 sentences. Reducing as much negativity from your profile is a likely start. All the way to "Let's see...." Another thing I have learned over the years is limiting the starting of sentences with " I ". There are many ways to rephrase the sentences and state the same thing without always beginning them with " I ". I am, I want, I would like......... It tends to appear as a run on even with periods. It's tough, this is one guy that is fully aware of it, but it can be done. <---- see how that was done? Didn't start the sentence with " I ". Sometimes it is necessary to start with " I ", but try limiting the frequency of it.

All in all, the most important thing to keep in mind when writing your 'about me' (even though I doubt it is actually read that often by the average lady) is that the ladies on this and nearly every other dating site have more options than we do. There are more men than women here. The ladies are looking for any and every excuse to pass on your profile for the next decent looking guy in their mailbox. And looks matter a whole lot. Women are just as visual as men are on these sites. Interests, your self description, and about half of the stats don't even register as a blip. I read EVERY ladies 'about me' (or in many cases the lack there of), and I make a serious effort to tailor my intro message to them on a topic trying to show that their profile was read. But again, that doesn't matter. Another thing that doesn't matter is paying to be on the site. Once I considered that maybe it would appear that I was more sincere about finding someone, but it was just money thrown away. The perks are not all that beneficial. Seeing if she read your message or just deleted it.... pffft. She didn't respond. Move on to the next and forget about that woman ever again. They are just as superficial as we are considered to be. So if you can get a picture that highlights your attractiveness, get it up asap. Pictures pictures pictures is really all it boils down to. I have found the more clear my pictures the more physical flaws show up. I don't want to see them and be reminded of them (like my broken nose that is still crooked), they don't want to see them either. There are men who look near flawless and that is your competition for your job interview ... I mean profile.

This was much more lengthy than intended, but I hope I helped you understand, that this is like applying for a job and there will be work involved. Once you do get a reply, the work still isn't over. You gotta keep her attention. If you told a joke before, she will expect another. Otherwise your correspondence likely ends with your second message.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Thread review please :)
Posted: 10/31/2016 4:34:39 PM
I can completely understand putting the contact age limit on your profile. I too would like another child myself before I get too much older. But I limit my age restrictions to the search instead of my mail settings. Since men actually have to put more effort into online dating than women do, it is best not to give the ladies another excuse to skip to the next profile. They are already looking for reasons NOT to date you since they have far more options available than we do and any excuse will do. I will leave the actual reviewing of your profile to the ladies who have commented since being ladies they have a little better understanding of what women WANT to see.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How can I avoid encountering men who only want one thing , while still waiting for dates from good guys?
Posted: 10/29/2016 3:47:22 PM
Unfortunately there is no way to block @$$holes from contacting you. They make life difficult for everyone especially the decent guys. This being a free site makes it all the worse because normally "paying to play" would screen them out. Just keep exercising the block button and if you can't take any more of it, you might have to abandon your account.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Is online dating a great tool for finding true love or not
Posted: 10/29/2016 1:32:54 PM
This site is NOT a good place to find a date period unless your looks truly say "male super model". The average person stands no chance otherwise. And from what I have read over the years, being a single parent is already another strike against you. And to continue the baseball reference, you already have 3 strikes against you before the woman even looks at your profile. Instead of trying to picture themselves with you or anything of the sort they are looking for reasons to click to the next profile. There is an insane imbalance of men to women ratio on the site and women rarely have to put any effort what so ever into their profiles if they are remotely attractive. Again you already have 3 strikes against you just for being male. Now some of you will try to refute my 3 strikes statement. Those strikes are; A) really really incredibly good looking guys B) guys with exceptionally nice modes of transportation in their pictures (motorcycles and expensive sports cars go a long ways) C) they make a ton more money than the average guy as is evidenced by their clothing. All of which are 100% in the pictures. What you say in your profile has almost no baring on the woman's actual decision to respond to your message. There are exceptions, but they are as rare as finding a unicorn.

Having a child could very likely be construed as; A) his money is going somewhere else B) would he give my child(ren) attention C) what time would he have for left me. I quite frequently find single mothers primary occupation listed as "stay at home mom" to put it simply. They find creative ways to say it, but they are all the same. And regardless of what they say, these unemployed mothers are looking for a free ride, albeit, an exceptionally good looking or financially well endowed free ride.

In short being a single parent on this site sucks unless you are good looking, rich, and can show success in your pictures. And that basically goes for any guy whether you got kids or not. If you manage to find a date and you are not any one or none of those 3 things, I call shenanigans on your claim and say "you're full of sh!t".
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Profile review please!
Posted: 10/29/2016 12:59:18 PM
Keep this in mind when you are writing your profile. Women are already looking for reasons NOT to date you. Don't help them out.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Define a good profile that'll get attention.
Posted: 10/29/2016 11:22:44 AM
Fact of the matter is, it is such a minuscule amount below 100% that it is almost nonexistant. But photos are 100% what makes your success. I know mine suck, its my ugly face that gets in the way. What you say in your profile is part of that minuscule amount that isn't photos. Get pictures up or delete your profile and not bother coming back because you would be wasting your time. The people here are shallow and I can't blame them one bit. They want to date good looking people they find attractive. As a man you are up against good looking (and I mean model looks) guys who are married or otherwise taken, likely say so in their profile and yet the women still flock to them. Women want what they cannot have. If you are attainable, they aren't interested.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Why does POF pin the blame on it's male user base for being perverts then..
Posted: 5/14/2015 11:03:33 AM

I have to wonder what type pics they are using in the adds for women on this site to get THEM to click on adds.


Makes me wonder too, as I have to compete with a woman's imagination from what she just saw. Typically men are more mentally visual than the average woman, and are more visual creatures too in respects to the types of pictures get us to respond positively to advertisements.


OTOH, men in these situations can control their behavior; but they don't. And they wonder why they don't get anywhere.


Completely agree, men could control their behaviors. But they don't, mainly because they get enough reward than punishment. If these perverse men got no play, they wouldn't pay (figuratively). Since they do, they continue to. But the fact that I get no where and I don't send d$%^ pics or any sort of perverse messages which leads me to believe the stated 10% of women are seeking long term relationships while the rest of them are only after Mr Toads wild ride. Now I know everyone wants Mr Toads wild ride, some of us want it monogamously.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Are the Hi there or Hey you messages from women automated?
Posted: 5/7/2015 11:44:29 AM
I wouldn't think so. If this was the case then even the system finds me unattractive since I hardly get even those except from obviously obese women who label themselves as average. I know there are fake profiles on some other sites fishing to get people to pay even one month to respond to a machine, not this one since all messages are free from the gitgo.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 27 (view)
 
How to get guys to respond to messages?
Posted: 5/7/2015 11:39:14 AM

You're only as attractive as you see yourself.
So it's hard to be objective. I think we settle
as low or reach as high as our self image allows us to.


As I have stated before, I look at myself as a 3 because I have a few extra pounds still to lose, but I do not state as such (other than body type) so how can my negative feelings on my looks come through via the cold nature of text on a computer screen? I could understand this statement holding water in person seeing as emotions come through in our body language and facial expressions.

Simply put, the reason for not getting responses is because these guys do not think they are good enough for you (hardly likely since you took initiative, props for that) or they think they can do better than you. Forget about those guys that do not respond and just keep plugging away at any guy you feel could be a potential match for your needs. It is said many times this is a numbers game and my numbers indicate I am not being pessimistic. Personally I make it a habit to respond to everyone, but I get maybe one message every 6-12 months only from ladies who weigh as much as I do (210lbs +/-) and I do not like making people feel bad about themselves so I typically chat with them till they cease or stand me up for meetings. If not for these noble and brave ladies I would have nothing. So it is easy to understand why I consider myself a 3 based just off of response/contact rate. You have excellent chances still since all dating sites benefit the women foremost. The only reason any lady cannot find a date is her own issues not because of a lack there of of available men.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 209 (view)
 
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 2:55:08 PM
Love is a choice. Simply just that. A mixing of various chemical reactions triggering the pleasure sensors of our brains. Who we focus those chemicals on is that choice.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 57 (view)
 
Low or High Expectations?
Posted: 5/6/2015 1:12:38 PM
Have low expectations with internet dating. I have no idea what the majority of the ladies are doing here, but actually increasing their chances of meeting Mr Right isn't a priority, but are instead looking to meet Mr Perfect instead. The prior can only be determined at a meeting, though the latter is quite obviously visible on profile viewing, but turns out 6 months later to not be the prior and we guys have to read how lame this site is for meeting the right guy because of a failed relationship mainly because the lady only responds to one guy every 6 months instead of playing the field and shopping around for the actual right fit..... but I digress....

The first thought upon seeing this thread was MAD Tv's 'Lowered Expectations' skits. Which does appear to bring quite a few of the people we see here from time to time to life. Unfortunately the profiles aren't quite as honest. Now OP finding a woman who can converse on those types of conversations is a downright miracle now days. Such a rare treasure a lady like that would be. Most have no clue who you are referring to in the first place. I had a quote by Goethe on my profile but have since dumbed it down as someone stated that even my humor is above some intellects and might be construed as insulting...... *sigh*.

This is a losing battle no matter how much effort you put towards it. So just half @$$ your profile because the likely hood of any intelligence on the ladies part having been devoted to her profile is about as extinct as trilobites. Mass majority stating "just ask in the about me" with lots of butt shots, cleavage and the typical "I am not here for FWB or one night stands", all the while being extremely picky about the mans profile nit picking everything.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Update your pictures!
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:54:15 PM
How often are we sposda update pictures? My main profile pic is a year and half old and my face isn't changing that much week to week, month to month. Since women only want to be contacted once, again what difference does it make, not like they are coming back to mine a 2nd time to reconsider and then nixing me because I didn't update my pictures between views. My latest picture is from Meteor Crater, AZ from Oct 2014. And other than losing some more body fat not much has changed. Perhaps I should take some shirtless pictures to up my response rate, or some showing off my butt like the ladies do..... Ya'll like to look at butts too right? Plus as I work to get back my 25 yr old figure with 30" waist (at 34" now) maybe I should, but my shirts typically cover up my flaws I am sure my butt is still visible (though I never look to find out).
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 21 (view)
 
How to get guys to respond to messages?
Posted: 5/6/2015 12:29:14 PM
Good information here for a lady, but most of the information provided to guys is more along the lines of "tough, suck it up" or "slap some dirt on it and walk it off". Also how does one know what "league" they are in? I asked a friend to rate me, but I think she was generous with the 7 she gave me. I still find myself to be a 3 based off the lack of response I get. And statistically I must be based, off the randomness of messages to 1000+ ladies in an ever increasing distance, currently at 100 mile radius of myself. So the recommendation for me is I should only go for 3s and under? Where as the OP is definitely a 6 or 7 based off the pictures provided (from a males perspective), and that is a good thing because it leaves a wide range of men you can contact. Perhaps you only messaged the guys who are fake profiles or are considered universally 10s by majority of women.

Now I do not dissuade ladies from taking initiative in finding their own matches. One never knows till they make the attempt in the first place. And just waiting for Mr Right to happen across your profile is about as likely as a winning lotto ticket blowing in the wind to land in your hand. Gotta pick the numbers yourself and buy the ticket so to speak as the latter is just a pipe dream.

So in short from my perspective you still have good chances, just don't use this as 100% of your dating opportunity. Be friendly even at the store (unless the guy is obviously only after sex) or at school, or anywhere because one never knows where they will meet their SO.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 62 (view)
 
Why do so many women only want to email/text and never meet in person
Posted: 5/6/2015 11:35:31 AM

Time Vampires I call 'em.

My take?

1) They have options. You're option #9 on their dating rolodex.

2) They're jaded. Burned out. They're hoping to make sure you're not like the rest of their bad dates previously.

Either way, not my problem.


I been here a number of times. Most the time though the ones to stand me up are those claiming average body type, but clearly from the pictures provided (or many times the lack of pictures provided (all face shots, most looking up)) they aren't average. They are also the ones contacting me, and seems I am only attractive to the more heavyset ladies. And upon setting dates to meet after conversing a week or more, I get stood up.

As far as the average woman on this site #1 in the above quote resolves 9.9 out of 10 of the ladies. Women have options, men only have 2. Contact her or do not contact her, there are no other options.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 198 (view)
 
Love at first sight
Posted: 5/6/2015 11:24:52 AM
Sadly, this site and all others like it primarily cater to this. Just visual carnal desires is the primary focus most of both sexes have in mind when coming here.
 ryuoki
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Frustrated by Experience on POF and ready to throw in the Towel
Posted: 4/30/2015 3:38:02 PM
You got dates, so that is already a bonus. Just because they did not work out doesn't mean to call it quits. Thomas Edison was asked about his failures in making the lightbulb. He responded that he did not see them as failures, but ways it did not work.

You could try my numbers of 4 years, over 1k ladies contacted and only 2 actual dates. Apparently wanting kids at my age is a red flag seeing as no women my age want them anymore. And I am getting too old apparently for the younger who are open to the idea. So keep your chin up, you could have the same desires as I do.

And being 420 friendly does not always indicate consumption, but that it is tolerated if the mate does.
 
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