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 Author Thread: What do you think about dating a stripper?
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 99 (view)
What do you think about dating a stripper?
Posted: 4/12/2013 12:30:35 AM
You are selling your body, in one way or another, that makes you a hoe, sorry, thats what hoes do. I could not, wouldnot, welcome you into my home. GOD is in my house.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 131 (view)
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 2/10/2012 10:33:40 PM
I guess it does. That is what we all need, someone to be there, to say "its OK, Im here for you. " Someone trying to make the day better, but most people are all about them. Taking and not giving.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 130 (view)
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 2/10/2012 10:13:30 PM
He knew when he came home, he would have a good meal, full control of the remote, peace and quiet, the newspaper,and whatever else he needed for a good night sleep---talking, venting, whatever.

Kudos to you Maffers. Most men have no absolutely no clue.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 170 (view)
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/10/2012 10:06:46 PM
I will admit that towards the end I started to not be as available. I was very busy with my new side business that I started. I still made time for her but just not as much and she resented the fact that I started up that business.
Wow, OP, you werent there then. Why should she be?
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 129 (view)
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 2/10/2012 9:54:47 PM
I think we have gotten somewhat off topic here, FYI, a woman can love a man and still feel devalued. Mentally, emotionally, psychologically and Physically, Let me give you an example. Years ago, as a bookkeeper, I had had a particulary "bad" day. He had called me during the day, so he had an idea, what I was going through. After work, I picked up the kids, took them home, and I am exhausted. When I walked in, he had a cup of coffee for me, with cream and sugar, just the way I like. We sat at the kitchen table and I told him about the day. Me venting, AKA ****ing. Then he goes to our bathroom, fills up the bath tub with hot water and bubbles. He says he taking the boys with him, they will go and bring back dinner, just "take a bath". That was one of the best nights of our life. After we ate, of course, and the boys were in bed. Most men dont have a clue about women. Venus and mars thing, I guess. It is simply being felt we are of value to you. That our thoughts, our emotions, are of some importance to you. This is a GREAT SECRET among women, You guys learn to value, and make her feel she is of value., YOU will get lucky. Value, respect, consideration-- that is the key to the female labido.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 168 (view)
Please help me understand my ex gf reason for breaking up with me. Is she serious?
Posted: 2/10/2012 8:52:56 PM
She had you on a pedestal, OP. The "you will save me, syndrome." She realized it, early on. That's a good thing. Personally, OP, seriously, did you blow up the "fireman" "hero" thing, but was too busy to fulfill it to her? Or Maybe she is worried about raising any babies "alone". Just a thought or two to ponder.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
Valentines to a friend
Posted: 2/10/2012 8:29:59 PM
Dont send anything anonymously. There is nothing wrong with saying "hey, I like you. Want to grab dinner?" She isnt your Valentine, dont send a Valentine. Grab hold of "Bert and Ernie" ( sorry I watched Two and a Half Men tonight.) and just casually ask her.. dont go with the hearts and roses too soon. You will only scare the crap out of her. One simple question, " want to grab dinner?" want to see a movie.? want to take a walk? want to share a cab? a sandwich? not too much too soon.

Sorry, I didnt mean to leave out the Snuffalufagus. ( how do you spell that?)
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 47 (view)
Do You Have Success On Coffee Date Meets?
Posted: 2/10/2012 8:13:07 PM
Hey OP. I met a guy for "coffee". he ordered water. Free water. Then I noticed a car following me after the "coffee date". So I turned around and drove into a shopping center and hung out in Walmart's for a while. Scary, but I knew it was the "date". You can never be too careful out there.
Sorry. this isnt a success date.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 55 (view)
How to approach the subject of ED without being obnoxious
Posted: 2/10/2012 8:06:15 PM
From my experience, closing time is the worst time for anything to happen. But closing time is the time for all the promises they cant deliver.

this comes from a comment from an earlier page.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 220 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/10/2012 7:54:50 PM
Kudos, and AMEN, inspiring, breaking through the waves to the real reality.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 219 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/10/2012 7:52:01 PM
Kudos, and AMEN, inspiring, breaking through the waves to the real reality.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 170 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/3/2010 8:48:26 AM
well said anonymouslyme.
You cant debate with anyone who twists, makes things up, demeans the other, name calling.
The information IS available on the Internet, it is also available in any Psych book.
The whole idea of learning is from reading. Anyone can read the DSM and learn.

DSM IV-TR criteria

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:[1]

1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. believes that he or she is "special" and can only be understood by, or should associate with, people (or institutions) who are also "special" or of high status.
4. requires excessive admiration
5. has a sense of entitlement
6. is interpersonally exploitative
7. lacks empathy
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes


Profile of the Sociopath

This website summarizes some of the common features of descriptions of the behavior of sociopaths.

* Glibness and Superficial Charm

* Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.

* Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."

* Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.

* Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.

* Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.

* Incapacity for Love

* Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.

* Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.

* Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.

* Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.

* Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.

* Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.

* Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.

* Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.

Other Related Qualities:

1. Contemptuous of those who seek to understand them
2. Does not perceive that anything is wrong with them
3. Authoritarian
4. Secretive
5. Paranoid
6. Only rarely in difficulty with the law, but seeks out situations where their tyrannical behavior will be tolerated, condoned, or admired
7. Conventional appearance
8. Goal of enslavement of their victim(s)
9. Exercises despotic control over every aspect of the victim's life
10. Has an emotional need to justify their crimes and therefore needs their victim's affirmation (respect, gratitude and love)
11. Ultimate goal is the creation of a willing victim
12. Incapable of real human attachment to another
13. Unable to feel remorse or guilt
14. Extreme narcissism and grandiose
15. May state readily that their goal is to rule the world

You dont have to have a psychiatric degree to be able to read or comprehend a DSM.
In fact most social workers, have only an average IQ. They use it everyday.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 165 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 3/2/2010 10:59:37 PM
The trolls are back. Ignore the trolls.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 84 (view)
jealousy what does it mean
Posted: 3/1/2010 11:50:19 PM
I cannot see jealousy as a positive, in any relations. Ever. It screams low self esteem, low self worth. Or someone trying to be the victor. If I am jealous of someone, I am envious, feeling not up to par to another person. That isnt healthy.
Jealous while in a relationship with a man? What has he done to make me doubt him? What has happened that I would doubt myself? What, do we play the roller coaster game, where I try to keep up with his expectations? Im willing to play by the rules. Fairly. But if he is expecting me to jump through hoops, it isnt happening.
I am secure within myself. I would surely hope he would be also, and not feel the need to rub my nose into every close encounter he came across.
There will always be people younger, prettier, more endowed. Perkier, funnier.
Ultimately, do you like yourself? Are you willing to let someone else determine your worth? Jealousy is all about EGO. If you have to be jealous, wonder what they are doing, thinking or who they are with, give it up. Its not worth the mental trauma.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
Just broke up because the sex was bad
Posted: 2/28/2010 10:15:34 PM
Hey OP. The sex was bad. You didnt trust him, you didnt love him. Of course the sex would be bad.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
jealousy what does it mean
Posted: 2/26/2010 11:23:48 PM
I think jealousy stems from low self esteem. Sure we want everyone to want the one we are with. It stems from how comfortable, trusting you with the relationship.
If I have to wonder what someone is doing, or where they are, I dont need to be with that person. Your gut know what it knows.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 155 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/25/2010 9:50:29 PM
Cowboy, you have completely lost any consideration you may have had in this thread.
You have lost your argument. Move on.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 147 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/24/2010 4:01:52 PM
""""''That is the equilvent to what a nurse takes so yes there is a difference."""""""

Equivalent. Got to pass those English classes to get your degree. Along with History, Psychology, Math, Pharmacology, Med Surg, OB, Geriatrics, Psych, Pediatrics, Anatomy and Physiology, Medical Microbiology, Computers, Communications. EMT is a certification. Not a degree.
Im sorry. I actually have a nursing degree from the University of KY. Guess what????? I graduated with honors. The ring, the sash,the pin, and the Gold emblem on my degree. Who's Who publication. Dean's List.
EMT's go to class, what 3 months, once or twice a week? The fact is, in an accident, I would be the ranking officer. EMT's just hate that. The fact is, an EMT is way way below a nurse on the totem pole. You just havent had the training, or the education. Albeit, EMT's play a vital role in healthcare. They bring the patients to the people who actually heal and take care of them. They are not God, they are not Doctors, and they are not Nurses.

""""" I don't pretend and have never pretended to be capable of diagnosing anyone with a mental disorder""""""""

If you dont have the ability to say they are, you cannot say they aren't.

But you are capable of coming on here, and trashing complete strangers for their thoughts, feelings and experiences? Belittling them, for what? I disagreed with you. That is all, and you come on, with guns blazing. You have no idea who I am, how I sound, what I am. Yet you have trashed me, my family, my profession. Low blows, but really of no consequence. I can smell Loser, I can hear Loser, I can see Loser. I can spell Loser. The only one who started a witch hunt was you. Thank you for giving me the right to my own opinion.

I am sorry to all the people who have read this thread. And been offended. I call it as I see it, and will not cower before anyone.
Im sorry I didnt put him on IGNORE from the start. What a waste of time, energy and thought.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 135 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/24/2010 1:11:32 AM
what a loser!!!!!!
He copied and pasted the same exact post on 2 different threads.

Do I get the last laugh???????
let the banana dance.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 133 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/24/2010 12:52:22 AM
glad to know the boy is checking into me so closely. I have dealt with a lot worse. What is it to you, anyway? The lengths you go to to try and prove your point. Pointless...............
Thought your previous post was the last. should have known better.
What is this, in these threads where your saying I started this? You called it "crap". You called my and others experiences "crap".

As far as my being a "butt wiper", well, as a nurse, I will always be a butt wiper, a snot wiper, vomit cleaner, tear wiper, hand holder, regardless of how high in administative I am. How dare you negate what a CNA does. Most have more compassion and consideration than you ever dreamed of. Some day you will be lucky to have someone to wipe your butt. Seeing as how you are all A$$hole, anyway. Or at least of "bit" of one. (sorry, even as a nurse, I couldnt resist the pun) But then Im not perfect, I am human.

How dare you, come onto these forums, condemn me, my thoughts, my feelings. You are less than a snail, your a slug, your the slimy stuff on a slugs feet. I am an RN. I supervise 152 patients, 75 employees at any given time. I am an excellent nurse. I have actually saved lives. Dont you ever doubt it. My yearly evaluations will attest to that. These few minutes I participate in the forums are just a very small percentage of my life.
I just have a problem with A$$holes. I actually contribute a bit more than rage in a forum. I have survived more than you can dish out to me in a forum. I am an excellent mother. I have raised 2 military sons, one in the ministry. When you top that, come in and diss me. Otherwise, shut TFU.

I have actually "studied" personality Disorders. My CEU's mandate it. How else will I determine the schitzophrenic, alzheimers, or the dementia, or the many other mental or physical disorders. I know how I deal with people. Open, straightforward. Narcs are not like that, and they take advantage of people who are. Got it????????
I am not his victim. Just because I participate in a thread doesnt mean I am wallowing in misery. I have survived that jerk, it isnt my fault he still feels the need to contact me. He has a personality disorder. He is going to do all kinds of weird crap. Actually he has taught me some great LIFE LESSONS. Take no crap from anyone. I am OK. I am productive, giving, compassionate, empathetic. No stranger across the country is going to have any impact upon my life. sorry, you're not that important. I would like to have you deleted of PofF.

you have a lot of issues with this and another thread. Your posting every other post. Compulsive? Refuse to allow anyone to disagree with you. It's all there in writing. None were writing to you, just to each other, then you come in and ream everyone. I think the slow boat to China is about to depart. Got your ticket?
All of your posts are condemning. Superior attitude. If I may say so, somewhat Narcissistic. Only somewhat. You dont have the charming agreeable part down yet. You know, the initial, win them over part? Just because someone can argue longer or louder, doesnt make them right. And you are NOT right on this, Boy.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 123 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/22/2010 9:58:22 PM
'''''''''''''''''''My last point is this. My first problem is I'm a hardheaded old baste*rd. Also I'm a bit of an a**hole. Maybe more than a bit.'''''''''''''''''''

Let's quote this again. """"My last point is this. My first problem is I'm a hardheaded old baste*rd. Also I'm a bit of an a**hole. Maybe more than a bit.""""

forgive me for laughing. ROTFLMFAO at the "bit" part.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 116 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/21/2010 10:30:13 PM
Thank you. After all this time, I feel I shouldnt have to live my life by someone else's perimeters. Trying to stay out of someone else's radar" Hide and run away?. I will not be a victim anymore. Ive not dont anything wrong. I will not hide and cover for him anymore. He is a A$$hole. He IS a Narcissist. Let's let everyone know.

But cowboy admitted earlier to not knowing anything about the diagnosis. Yet he comes in argues--------whose point? Labeling the narc.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 102 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/19/2010 10:01:14 PM
You are of no use at all on this thread. We are not near as perfect as you. Kudos to you for trying to dig up crap on me, by looking into my other posts. The only thing you will find is a concerned parent.
I can only live my life and be accountable to me.
Best of luck to you, with your hounding other people, sounds familiar to a Narc I have dealt with in a past life. I didnt call you a jerk before, BUT>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 100 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/18/2010 12:20:33 PM
from post 103

""""""""""""" I agree with Forum 101!! I think you are an ignorant jerk.

You would you sound like a child who wouldn't know what way to go unless told. If you agree on every single thing she said then you agree with leaving the lines of communication open to a predator or accused one who is stalking you. That being the case then as I stated when you do nothing to prevent you may as well be an accessory to the crime in my opinion. 3 years and you never changed your e-mail or your phone number because then he wins somehow? Thats ignorance at its finest. Do me a favor if you agree so much every time you go somewhere leave your car doors unlocked with the keys in the ignition. When your car is stolen and you call the police tell them you left your keys in the ignition. When he starts telling you how stupid you are tell him you do it and will always do it cause if you don't the car thieves win. Then come back and tell me how much more of a jerk I am compared to him.""""""""""""

Anything he coerces me to do, makes him stronger. So, you think I should change my phone number, my email, even move. What a crock!!!!! How easy is that? Sell one home and buy another in another area, move kids, change jobs, schools, and run from the Narc. I am not running from him, and if you think I am getting some sort of ego boost from this, you are sadly mistaken. Every time he intrudes into my life, it feels like an assault.
I quit kidding myself a long time ago, he isnt capable of loving me or anyone else. Yes, I could hire a lawyer, take him to court, get a restraining order. I have spoken to an attorney, he has told me to keep track of everything. I have even spoke with the county judge. His reaction, "But he always seems so personable, always in a suit, and he goes to church, he invited me to his Christmas play". Over the years this Narc has learned to play the game, look the part, say the right things to get his way. He is an expert at it. But he only mimics other people he has come across. No feelings or remorse for anyone but himself. I said to myself, "If he were the guy he pretends to be, he would have been awesome" But it was all just a ruse to catch me in his net, and try and coerce me into doing, being, how he thought a perfect woman should be. It took me a while to see the real him. At first it was small things, that you might push under a rug, he yelled at an employee, or snapped at my daughter when she fell in a store. Or he asked me if I was really going to wear those pants? There was a very slight crease where they had been folded across the hanger. He was dressed in wrinkled khaki shorts. Or the "you're not going to leave that dirty bowl in the sink, are you? When his own sink was overflowing with dirty dishes. But of course, they were his dirty dishes, in his dirty house that smelled of mildew. My one bowl was so much worse than that. Small things I discounted, till they gradually grew bigger and bigger. He had plans for me and my children, my income. And of course, it was in my best interest for him to take complete control of my life. Look how much money I could save if I didnt get my children Lunchables at the grocery, or bought their school clothes from a Goodwill. Arguing with me in a grocery store because I chose to buy this or that. I should thank him for wanting to help me. The guy even contacted a bank to see how much money I (he) could borrow, for investment property, with my income. But he was really just wanting my money, my time, and myself to himself. He never let up on anything till he got his way. His way was the right and only way. And he would fight tooth and nail to get it. You get worn down after a while from the fighting and arguing. He fought longer and louder, so he was right. Always having the last word. At least in his mind.

Cowboy, is wasnt long ago, on the other thread, you said you didnt know what the diagnosis was. Have you become an expert so soon? What is it to you, what anyone says about their past experiences?
Honestly, you can read all you want on it. Till you have lived it, day in and day out, you dont have a clue. Kind of like a child welfare worker, trying to tell a parent how to raise a child, when they, in fact, dont have any children of their own. You're only working with part of the facts. Some of us have the experience to back it up.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/7/2010 12:52:04 AM
sorry. cowboy. I have lived it. I REFUSE to allow that man to have any input into my life. That is what he wants. Even changing my email, gives him an ego boost. That he made me do that. No response is the best response.
dont you get it?
what your saying isnt helpful to anyone. You come on here with your patronizing, ridiculing attitude. Who needs that? Who wants that? Your opinion isnt the end all, be all.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 86 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/4/2010 9:10:55 PM
Wow. What an arrogant, egotistical rant.
Didnt you get it? I refuse to be his victim.
You think it is so easy to get someone out of your life? Who is dealing with fantasy here?
These people are professional conmen, manipulators. Not your typical "cowboy"
I have lived too long, through too much, to allow any A**holes opinion to bother me. Take that to your Therapist. I'm sure you need one. Badly. You might want to check into antisocial.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 81 (view)
I burned my bridges with a narcissist
Posted: 2/2/2010 8:40:46 AM
cowboy, I said it in the other Narc thread, and I will say it again. Most Narcs are undiagnosed. Why would they see a shrink? They are perfect. Nothing wrong with them, everyone else has the problem. How could there be a proper count of this, if they dont seek help? Only the few that are forced to, actually get counted.

My experience with a Narc lasted for over 5 years. I didnt diagnose him, my therapist did. He hit 8 of the 9 criteria, when he only needed 5. There are varying degrees of Narcissism. He had the neglected childhood.
My narc was in jail 7 different times. He hid that from me. When I learned of it, he lied and said he told me. I would have remembered drug dealing, assault, theft, perjury charges. He spent 5 years trying to make me perfect. On a daily basis, I got lectures, what I needed to do, to be perfect. Never mind he was a con artist, overweight--almost obese, even, lying, cheating, stealing. Any small thing about me that he didnt like, I was ridiculed. When we went out, I had to be dressed to the nines. I was, after all, with HIM. I tried for 3 years to get him out of my life. He couldnt stand the fact that someone rejected him. I was as close to perfect as he had found in over 30 years of searching. Good job, good income, respectable, personable, giving, caring, compassionate, height and weight proportionate. And I was malleable. Easily hurt, lonely, naive, and falling for the lies, hook, line and sinker. I always argued fairly. Even though he would yell, I never would. Until about 2 years in. Then I started telling him, what was wrong with him. Trying to get away from him, but he kept coming back, wearing me down. Finally, 3 years ago, I let him know I had a gun, and security cameras set up. Told him to stay away from me. He has stayed away. But that doesnt stop him from sending other people to my house, emailing, changing his email address, when I block him. Calling me from odd phones---phone booths. sending me mail. Coming through where I work, talking to coworkers. I suspect he has been in my home when I was working, books I didnt buy are on the shelf, emails I havent read have been opened. Even though he is living with a woman.

3 years, I havent seen him. But he still intrudes into my life. I hear or get something at least monthly. Most I cant prove where it came from. Wouldnt I look stupid taking him to court when he just called to wish me a happy birthday or valentines day? Or to ask if I needed anything?

So, you see, Cowboy. Some of us do know what were talking about. These threads can be therapeutic. Your condescending attitude isnt helping anyone.
With all of your posts about this, on this thread, and the other, why does the subject of Narcissism bother you so much?
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
Dating with Schizo affective disorder
Posted: 1/24/2010 1:08:11 AM
post 29 """"""" I have no clue what schizoaffective disorder means."""""""
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
Dating with Schizo affective disorder
Posted: 1/24/2010 12:45:25 AM
Wondering how many of the posters have actually dealt with Schizophenic, or Bipolar bipolar disorders. Op has stated she has been hospitalized repeatedly, even against her will with this disorder. That means she was totally out of control. And she had no clue.
Ever been around someone who hears voices telling them this or that, do this or that? I work with a few. You never know from one minute to the next, what is going to happen, and these ARE medicated people.

Sorry OP, best of luck to you. But no way Jose, would I deal with this stress at home. Train wreck waiting to happen. I do not want to worry about someone waking me up in the night with a knife at my throat for something they heard in their head. Unfortunately, that is a common thing with Schizophrenic Disorder.
I would want to know this at the get go. And take a pass. Who knows what a second or third conversation would bring?
I feel for you OP. There is no easy solution for your situation.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 109 (view)
Why is there no faith in bars/clubs?
Posted: 1/23/2010 3:02:03 PM
Confident:"""""Then that means YOU like going to the bar if he met you there! :) And there's nothing wrong with liking to go to a bar... and additionally bars are different, too."""""
Actually NO, I do not go to bars. I was just coming out of a divorce and learned my lesson the first time.
If your in a bar, how do you distinquish between a bar guy or a non bar guy? Wouldnt they all be bar guys?
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 108 (view)
Why is there no faith in bars/clubs?
Posted: 1/23/2010 2:58:12 PM
per Batman:::::
If you meet someone in a bar, You have only met someone that likes to go to bars

Ok lets get something straight here.

Unless he is CIA, which I doubt, I see a BIG chunk missing here.

-Gave out number
- He came to your house

If you are stupid enough to actually give out your address to a stranger right away then you're asking for it.

It isn't the bar scene that was stupid here. '''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

we're talking 15 years ago. My phone number was listed. He got the address from the phone company.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
Men marrying or dating women who earn more...
Posted: 1/19/2010 11:39:31 AM
Here is the article I saw on it:

It says men have more to gain financially than women do now. Hence the title :
Report: More men get economic boost from marriage
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 738 (view)
Why are women over 40 so desperate to get married?
Posted: 1/19/2010 11:34:59 AM
This is an interesting article:

It actually says men have more to gain, financially, than women do from marriage.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 553 (view)
Circumcised vs Un-Circumcised...
Posted: 1/19/2010 11:23:18 AM
The CDC thinks differently. 53% reduction in HIV cases in circumsized males. They didnt even finish the trials in Kenya cause the result was so obvious. look it up

Biologic Plausibility

Compared with the dry external skin surface, the inner mucosa of the foreskin has less keratinization (deposition of fibrous protein), a higher density of target cells for HIV infection (Langerhans cells), and is more susceptible to HIV infection than other penile tissue in laboratory studies [2]. The foreskin may also have greater susceptibility to traumatic epithelial disruptions (tears) during intercourse, providing a portal of entry for pathogens, including HIV [3]. In addition, the microenvironment in the preputial sac between the unretracted foreskin and the glans penis may be conducive to viral survival [1]. Finally, the higher rates of sexually transmitted genital ulcerative disease, such as syphilis, observed in uncircumcised men may also increase susceptibility to HIV infection [4].

International Observational Studies

A systematic review and meta-analysis that focused on male circumcision and heterosexual transmission of HIV in Africa was published in 2000 [5]. It included 19 cross-sectional studies, 5 case-control studies, 3 cohort studies, and 1 partner study. A substantial protective effect of male circumcision on risk for HIV infection was noted, along with a reduced risk for genital ulcer disease. After adjustment for confounding factors in the population-based studies, the relative risk for HIV infection was 44% lower in circumcised men. The strongest association was seen in men at high risk, such as patients at sexually transmitted disease (STD) clinics, for whom the adjusted relative risk was 71% lower for circumcised men.

Lack of male circumcision has also been associated with sexually transmitted genital ulcer disease and chlamydia, infant urinary tract infections, penile cancer, and cervical cancer in female partners of uncircumcised men [1]. The latter two conditions are related to human papillomavirus (HPV) infection. Transmission of this virus is also associated with lack of male circumcision. A recent meta-analysis included 26 studies that assessed the association between male circumcision and risk for genital ulcer disease. The analysis concluded that there was a significantly lower risk for syphilis and chancroid among circumcised men, whereas the reduced risk of herpes simplex virus type 2 infection had a borderline statistical significance [4].

Effects of Male Circumcision on Penile Sensation and Sexual Function

Well-designed studies of sexual sensation and function in relation to male circumcision are few, and the results present a mixed picture. Taken as a whole, the studies suggest that some decrease in sensitivity of the glans to fine touch can occur following circumcision [18]. However, several studies conducted among men after adult circumcision suggest that few men report their sexual functioning is worse after circumcision; most report either improvement or no change [19–22]. The three African trials found high levels of satisfaction among the men after circumcision [9, 10, 11, 16]; however, cultural differences limit extrapolation of their findings to U.S. men.

Status of Male Circumcision in the United States
In national probability samples of adults surveyed during 1999–2004, the National Health and Nutrition Examination Surveys (NHANES) found that 79% of men reported being circumcised, including 88% of non-Hispanic white men, 73% of non-Hispanic black men, 42% of Mexican American men, and 50% of men of other races/ ethnicities [30]. It is important to note that reported circumcision status may be subject to misclassification. In a study of adolescents¸ only 69% of circumcised and 65% of uncircumcised young men correctly identified their circumcision status as verified by physical exam [31].

Nowadays, some insurances do not cover the cost of circumcision in newborns. Out of pocket expenses plays a role, also, in who does or doesnt get curcumsized. Along with cultural, religious, and ethnic background. I chose for my sons because of the risks later in life.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
Why is there no faith in bars/clubs?
Posted: 1/18/2010 12:20:01 AM
True experience. Shortly after my divorce(15 years ago) I ventured into a bar. Met a guy, exchanged numbers. On a Sunday afternoon he came to my house. A surprise visit, my 2 small children are in the house. He is sitting in his truck on a Sunday, about 1 p.m. in my driveway. I go out, not really sure who it is at first, and he has part of a 12 pk left and offers me one. All I can think is, "what the hell was I thinking? I DID meet him in a bar, afterall"
If you meet someone in a bar, You have only met someone that likes to go to bars.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
Should I Be Concerned About his Character ?
Posted: 1/14/2010 10:12:59 PM
Isnt there a saying, I can say whatever I want, about my family, but you cant say anything. ???? It is the same with long term friends. They do become like family. I might be mad at my sisters and gripe about what they do or say. But by hell if I am going to let anyone else put them down. Maybe your BF is just venting?
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
Is she just not into me or am I over reacting
Posted: 1/8/2010 11:34:03 AM
I think, after one month neither of you know each other well enough to commit.
I dont think she is stringing you along. She is living her life. Good for her not to fall for every promise a guy gives her.
I do think you might be a bit too needy, and pushing her into something she isnt ready for. One month into a relationship, or 6 months, your still seeing how things are going, and weighing pros and cons, to stop or continue the relationship. She sounds more mature than you, OP.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 209 (view)
Women with multiple cats - sign of mental illness?
Posted: 1/8/2010 10:33:27 AM
m14. I am the one dealing with their cats, not the other way around. I didnt create the problem. Those cats do not belong to me. I dont know which one belongs where. They dont stay here all the time. The problem lies on the people dropping off litters of kittens. I didnt say I was overwhelmed. I would rather feed them all, and know my cats are eating. That's why they come here, cause I keep cat food at the back door for my cats. They are not my all cats, and I wouldnt feel right trapping them and shipping them off to the shelter to be killed.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 196 (view)
Women with multiple cats - sign of mental illness?
Posted: 1/6/2010 10:31:37 PM
I have my cats, the neighbors cats, and the catskittnes, grown mature adults drop off. I feed them all. Some times as many as 20 eat at my back door. I cannot being myself to call a shelter to pick them up. If that makes me crazy, then so be it.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
advise please?
Posted: 1/3/2010 2:20:36 PM
your 19 years old, and still live with your parents. Talking about having a baby with a FB? You need a timeout. Grow up before you have babies.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
Have you ever had an instant mutual attraction to someone you've never met?
Posted: 1/1/2010 10:18:03 PM
I know whaqr you are talking about.
Years ago I was doing my nursing clinicals at a hospital. I was married, and definitly NOT looking. A group of us nursing students were going to go down and get some lunch in the cafeteria. Waiting by the elevator, for the door to open. It did, and I looked up into the bluest eyes looking into my own. Our gaze held. Later I found out the elevator was too full for us to enter, and they had to pull me out of the way of the door closing on me. I have no recollection of anything other than those blue eyes holding mine.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
Is this guy a keeper? Any red flags? (Details provided)
Posted: 12/31/2009 9:38:49 PM
durand, you are quoting things i didnt see in this thread.
where do you get the Op talking anything anal? unless I forgot how to read.
The guy hasnt evidently crossed any lines cause OP is still considering him. The guy seems to have quite a bit to offer. How can she go wrong with a wait and see attitude?
dont we get a trial before we are proven guilty?
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
Is this guy a keeper? Any red flags? (Details provided)
Posted: 12/31/2009 8:01:55 PM
your immaturity shows. the guy is 25, of course he is curious. He is going by her guidelines. when she eases up, he gets more assertive. At least give him that. I think he has been very controlled, when I consider some of the 25 year olds I have spoken to. 21 vs48. you have a lot to learn. I do not think she should call a halt to him, cause he misspoke. Girls get used to the fact that most guys do this. Maybe you're wanting her for yourself?
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
Is this guy a keeper? Any red flags? (Details provided)
Posted: 12/31/2009 7:35:44 PM
dont listen to the trolls.
any guy will be interested in sex. he will test you. see what you will tolerate, or not. you keep you, dont compromise yourself. he will respect that. he just needs to learn he cant always have instant gratification. Bide your time, dont commit yourself, till you know for sure, where he is, and where you are. It is still early yet.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
Is this guy a keeper? Any red flags? (Details provided)
Posted: 12/31/2009 4:47:46 PM
Sweetie, there isnt a 25 year old anywhere not thinking about getting the goodies.
This sound very sweet. He is respecting you. He may be pushing a bit with the tickling, but I'm sure if you expressed concern he would stop. Looks like he is allowing you to set the boundaries. I think you should go with the flow. Dont tease, be honest. Dont hold virginity out like a carrot.
I am a expert on red flags. NONE DETECTED. Have fun. Be careful. Be safe.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
Is this guy nuts??
Posted: 12/31/2009 12:14:17 AM
I have had first hand experience with narcissists, and I know old fashioned a**holes. He is gaslighting, playing mind games. Dont throw a narc in in a haphazard way.
Gaslighting-----per wikipedia

Gaslighting is a form of intimidation or psychological abuse in which false information is presented to the victim, making them doubt their own memory and perception. The classic example of gaslighting is to change things in a person's environment without their knowledge, and to explain that they "must be imagining things" when they challenge these changes.

The term derives from the 1938 stage play Gas Light (originally known as Angel Street in the United States), and the 1940 and 1944 film adaptions, in which a wife's concerns about the dimming of her house's gas lights are dismissed by her husband as the work of her imagination, when in fact he himself has actually caused the lights to dim. His action is part of a wider pattern of deception in which the husband manipulates small elements of his wife's environment, and insists that she is mistaken or misremembering, hoping to drive her to insanity.

A narc is so much more. dont get me started on NPD.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 180 (view)
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/30/2009 11:48:10 PM
Well STOP kissing Sweetheart.: Do you Google?

Tests & diagnosis
When to contact a doctor
U.S. National Library of Medicine

Find this content and more from trusted sources.
Herpes simplex

Herpes simplex is an infection that mainly affects the mouth or genital area.

* Mouth sores
* Genital lesions -- there may first be a burning or tingling sensation
* Blisters or ulcers -- most often on the mouth, lips and gums, or genitals
* Fever blisters
* Fever -- especially during the first episode
* Enlarged lymph nodes in the neck or groin


Some cases are mild and may not need treatment.

People who have severe or prolonged cases, immune system problems, or frequent recurrences may need to take antiviral medications such as acyclovir (Zovirax), famciclovir (Famvir), and valacyclovir (Valtrex).

People who have more than 6 recurrences of genital herpes per year may need to continue taking antiviral medications to reduce recurrences.

There are two different strains of herpes simplex viruses:

* Herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) is usually associated with infections of the lips, mouth, and face. It is the most common herpes simplex virus and most people develop it in childhood. HSV-1 often causes lesions inside the mouth, such as cold sores (fever blisters), or infection of the eye (especially the conjunctiva and cornea). It can also lead to infection of the lining of the brain (meningoencephalitis). It is transmitted by contact with infected saliva. By adulthood, up to 90% of people will have antibodies to HSV-1.
* Herpes simplex virus 2 (HSV-2) is sexually transmitted. Symptoms include genital ulcers or sores. In addition to oral and genital sores, the virus can also lead to complications such as infection of the lining of the brain and the brain itself (meningoencephalitis) in neonatal infants due to infection during birth. However, some people have HSV-2 but do not show symptoms. Up to 30% of U.S. adults have antibodies against HSV-2. Cross-infection of type 1 and 2 viruses may occur from oral-genital contact.

A finger infection, called herpetic whitlow, is another form of herpes. It usually affects health care providers who are exposed to saliva during procedures. Sometimes, young children also can get the disease.

The herpes virus can infect the fetus and cause abnormalities. A mother who is infected with herpes may transmit the virus to her newborn during vaginal delivery, especially if the mother has an active infection at the time of delivery.

It's possible for the virus to be transmitted even when there are no symptoms or visible sores.
Tests & diagnosis

Many times, doctors can tell whether you have a herpes-simplex infection simply by looking at the lesions. However, certain tests may be ordered to be sure of the diagnosis. These tests include:

* Blood test
* Viral culture of the lesion
* Direct fluorescent antibody (DFA) test


The oral or genital lesions usually heal on their own in 7 to 10 days. The infection may be more severe and last longer in people who have a condition that weakens the immune system.

Once an infection occurs, the virus spreads to nerve cells and stays in the body for the rest of a person's life. It may come back from time to time and cause symptoms, or flares. Recurrences may be triggered by excess sunlight, fever, stress, acute illness, and medications or conditions that weaken the immune system (such as cancer, HIV/AIDS, or the use of corticosteroids).

Preventing herpes simplex is difficult since people can spread the virus even when they don't have any symptoms of an active outbreak.

Avoiding direct contact with an open lesion will lower the risk of infection.

People with genital herpes should avoid sexual contact when they have active lesions. Safer sex behaviors, including the use of condoms, may also lower the risk of infection.

People with active herpes lesions should also avoid contact with newborns, children with eczema, or people with suppressed immune systems, because these groups are at higher risk for more severe disease.

To decrease the risk of infecting newborns, a cesarean delivery (C-section) is recommended for pregnant women who have an active herpes simplex infection at the time of delivery.

* Meningitis
* Encephalitis
* Eczema herpetiform (widespread herpes across the skin)
* Infection of the eye -- keratoconjunctivitis
* Prolonged, severe infection in immunosuppressed individuals
* Pneumonia
* Infection of the trachea

When to contact a doctor

Call your health care provider if you develop symptoms which appear to be herpes infection. There are many different conditions that can cause similar lesions (especially in the genital area).

If you have a history of herpes infection and develop similar lesions, tell your health care provider if they do not get better after 7 to 10 days, or if you have a condition that weakens your immune system.

Herpetic whitlow on the thumb

Herpetic whitlow on the thumb
Herpes simplex - close-up

Herpes simplex - close-up
News More »
Maternal and Neonatal Herpes Simplex Virus Infections
New England Journal of Medicine (subscription) - 9 hours ago
by Corey, L. To the Editor: In their informative review article on infection with herpes simplex virus (HSV), Corey and Wald (Oct. 1 issue) 1 do not make it ...
Vical gets US patent cover for herpes simplex DNA vaccine - 1 day ago
7628993 covering DNA vaccines for herpes simplex virus type-2 (HSV-2). HSV-2 is a sexually transmitted virus which is the leading cause of genital herpes. ...
Vical and the University of Washington Receive US Patent for Herpes Simplex ... (press release) - 1 week ago
7628993 covering DNA vaccines for herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2). HSV-2 is a sexually transmitted virus which is the leading cause of genital herpes. ...
Vical Inc awarded US patent for herpes simplex DNA vaccine Trading Markets (press release)
Patent Issued to Vical and UW Xconomy
Vical says gets US patent for herpes DNA vaccine Reuters
all news 4 articles »
Google Scholar More »
Herpes simplex viruses and their replication
B Roizman,AE Sears - The human herpesviruses, 1993 -
Herpes simplex virus-1 entry into cells mediated by a novel member of the TNF/NGF receptor family
RI Montgomery,MS Warner,BJ Lum,PG Spear - Cell, 1996 -
Attenuated multi–mutated herpes simplex virus–1 for the treatment of malignant gliomas
T Mineta,SD Rabkin,T Yazaki,WD Hunter,RL Martuza - Nature Medicine, 1995 -
Search Trends
People who searched for Herpes simplex also searched for:

1. infection
2. cold sores
3. hiv infection
4. shingles
5. genital herpes
6. pregnancy
7. human papillomavirus infection
8. skin rash


1. fever
2. headache
3. cough
4. inflammation
5. sore throat
6. back pain
7. fatigue
8. diarrhea


1. acyclovir
2. valtrex
3. regular insulin
4. abreva
5. hydrocortisone
6. metronidazole
7. rid
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 178 (view)
Would You Become Involved Romantically with Mr. or Ms. Right? If S/he Has Herpes?
Posted: 12/30/2009 11:11:59 PM
Maybe we could leave Tiger out of this forum. Great way to spread rumors. If, If, If. We dont know 5% of what actually happened.

Second of all, Feastener, 80-90% of the population are not "trash". The majority of people on here DO care about herpes, among other stds. Men AND women shed this virus.
I didnt learn of a "genital" tract in my college classes. Gastrointestinal, and urinary. No genital. I did learn of the reproductive system, or genitalia.

There should not be a stigma associated with having the herpes virus. (since only 10% of us are clear). Not having it, is now abnormal. Only passing it along nonchalantly, not informing others, depriving them of their right to choose, that is where the violation is.

I dont differentiate between either type. Honestly, at least if I had type 2, it would be hidden from public view. herpes is herpes. either can be in either place.

Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 79 (view)
What to say after being dumped.
Posted: 12/30/2009 9:45:54 PM
Surely you have better things to do than worry about guys who dont call. Put on your big girl panties, and go on with your life. Watch out, next time, and dont give more of yourself, than you are being given.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 102 (view)
Would you consider this a deal breaker?
Posted: 12/30/2009 8:54:47 AM
^^^^^ People protect their privacy because they have a right to privacy.
He needs to look through her phone to feel more secure? What else should Op do, hand over her purse, let him go through that also? She isnt responsible for his insecurities.
Then he tried to blame it on her, cause she left her phone on vibrate? Op is dealing with and insecure piece of scum with no respect for boundaries. Red flag for abuse. Best she move on.
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