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 Author Thread: Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 4/8/2016 8:38:27 AM
I think that if you have ever had a warm and comfortable LTR, going back to dating is a truly horrid experience. As far as I can see, most people are quite happy to be in a good LTR, even if it is never perfect.

I also think that dating younger is the best strategy in that if you do find another LTR, you are less likely to face its loss through an older partner dying, although, there are never any guarantees in life on that front.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 4/8/2016 6:35:30 AM
Sorry, I find that a 45 year old woman who "looks younger than she is" is pretty funny. Most women in their forties, if they have not let themselves go, are still in the prime of appeal phase of life.

In any event, nothing particularly significant about dating younger, even a lot younger, if you can get away with it and if you can stand it. Each case is unique, and not particularly age related.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/7/2016 5:08:28 AM
The world is full with lonely looneies, and OLD has more tha its fair share of such people. Strange replies are to be expected.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
60 Is The New 40
Posted: 4/5/2016 7:08:24 AM
These days, unless you die, at 60 you have at least 20 more years to go before the rest home, perhaps 30, or if you are a woman, 40+.

That is the time it took you to pass your childhood, the time it took you to raise your kids, the time it took you to get married, then divorced, and the time it took you to go from the mail room to regional manager.

A whole lifetime when you think of it. And, if you have managed a good retirement plan, you get to spend it doing whatever pleases you.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 3/31/2016 10:01:23 AM
And....its a lot of fun wooing and winning them.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 3/31/2016 8:32:49 AM
Its the complaining that is silly. There are lots of places on the net where you can contact women of any age. Even more in RL.Not a lot to be gained by complaining about people who believe their theories of life are different from your own.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 3/31/2016 6:55:34 AM

I would not have thought it easier for an older woman to get a date with a younger man, than the reverse.
The younger man does not really want to spend money on the older woman but older men know they have to splash out to attract a younger woman and do so.


A lot of negative thinking expressed here. In RL people of all ages date all ages successfully, and the idea of spending money does not usually play an important part.

People who like each other and get along well form relationships. Every case is unique. All you achieve with pre-conceived ideas about relationships is spending more time alone and lonely. Successful and desirable are relative terms, and there is nothing unrealistic about having any relationship goal. Its all about what you are willing to do to achieve it.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Profile Photos
Posted: 3/30/2016 8:04:26 AM
What? Does this mean its not only me that suspects that BA (And many other aliases, locations, etc) is a fake profile? Oh dear!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 163 (view)
 
Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 3/25/2016 4:27:28 AM
We all should be lucky enough to be kissing someone in our 70s.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 161 (view)
 
Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 3/24/2016 11:35:38 AM
I always wondered as well what "a sweet woman" actually meant until I met someone that actually tasted sweet to me. Concluded that the combinations of body chemistry could work so that the couple actually experience sweetness when they have contact with each other, and frankly, it is something to be desired and sought after.

"Kisses sweeter than wine..."

Its actually a description of an experience that can be had, and not particularly related to personality. Its like how some women just fit physically, others just don't. Truely a strange phenomenon. Until you experience it, you just don't understand it.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 484 (view)
 
Mature Woman
Posted: 3/9/2016 2:27:23 PM

I can't even stand in heels


Oh dear! However do you generate sex appeal when you hit the meat markets?

:)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 478 (view)
 
Mature Woman
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:02:32 AM
Anybody who says they can't imagine having sex with someone who has a specified age or older better hope they drop dead before that age, otherwise, they will have to change their ideas or be prepared to live without sex when they hit that age.

Generally, I have found that there were many women at every age that did not appeal to me and that I could not imagine having sex with. However, it had nothing to do with the age of the person. Indeed, when I was younger, I did not look at "older" women as potential partners, but now being "older" I equally do not look at "younger" women as potential partners. However, the terms "older" and "younger" have for me pretty arbitrary meanings, and "partner" includes a lot more than just getting my rocks off.

These days I am quite happy to be in bed with a 50+ or 60+ or 70+ woman. They can be "partners" in my life style. Still, there are loads who hold no sexual interest for me, just a it has always been in my life. To me, the whole age thing is pretty silly. If you are lucky enough to live long enough and stay healthy enough, you can and probably will enjoy partners of any age.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 12:09:32 PM
Well, Op, I think I would be just perfect for you. Too bad you live in another country.

Sigh!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 100 (view)
 
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 2/10/2016 10:09:22 AM
Well, there are lots of instances of LD relationships that form and work out just fine. If everyone thought that LD was not workable, soldiers, sailors, expat workers, mail order brides and many, many other scenarios would be in total despair. Of course, they are not.

Its easy to fall in love with a LD partner. Just a little harder to bring it to fulfillment. But that will depend on what the parties really want.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
POF image shows up on nasty site
Posted: 2/5/2016 6:34:58 AM
Many just post a picture of whoever and use it for years. Huge numbers of the pictures on dating and other sites are no resemblance to the real life owners of the accounts.

I used to post pictures until they started to come back to me as other people.

You can always ask a person to send a photo via some other method, like a junk email account. Lots of options, really, and no need to fear contacting those without photos.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
POF image shows up on nasty site
Posted: 2/4/2016 2:18:49 PM
The instant you put your pic on a public site, it is available to everybody and will be used by people for anything.

People used to be able to exchange images privately on this site but the owner decided that at least men should be blocked from doing that. There is no way you can get rid of anything you put on the web, ever.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 278 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2016 12:08:55 PM
The only cutoff age is the age where you decide to give up!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 271 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 1/27/2016 7:12:50 AM

You have to draw the line somewhere,


Well, you don't have to draw a line anywhere, you do because you think that there is such a thing as a relationship that is forever and that you, in particular, will be around forever. Of course, neither idea has any validity as you should already have realized from your own life experiences.

The only thing you achieve by drawing aline somewhere is the elimination of huge numbers of possibly wonderful people with whom you might have a truly wonderful life experience, even if it does not or can not last forever.

Yes, we all dream of an ideal partner, but we usually decide they are ideal long after we have met them, and in my experience, age never really affects our happiness. What affects our happiness is how we and our partners interact together. People in love don't change their minds as time goes on simply because a partner ages, at least most people don't.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 269 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 1/27/2016 6:06:59 AM
Its my observation that age does not really affect a mans interest in woman, but that age does affect a woman's interest in men.

As long as you want a man, there will be loads of them that are ready to step up to the plate.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 10:54:26 AM

I'm wondering , if your spouse cheated on you would your first response be "that's okay, I don't OWN you".


Well, it was many, many decades back, she did, I divorced her. Not because I owned her, but because I did not see the need to live with someone who screwed around.

Ever since, my personal policy has always been to get a woman out of my life if she screwed someone else other than me. Again, nothing to do with owning them, simply because there are a huge number of other women out there who will be happy to be with me and not screw around. Why waste time on one that is not happy and doesn't want to be with me?

If a woman wants to screw someone other than me, he/she can take over providing the benefits to her life that a relationship with me provides, and I can then focus my attention on someone else who is appreciative and values our relationship. Nothing at all complex there.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 9:43:19 AM

I'm sorry you're having trouble with the intricacies of the English language.


Well thanks for your concern. I don't really think I have trouble understanding English. There is no doubt in my mind that the context of this dicsussion, where a woman is berated for her behaviour with respect to "someone else's man", is based on the idea of possession in the sense of ownership, not reference.

If not, there would be no point to the criticisms, as in "screwing some random person", which is, in my opinion, a perfectly natural and normal behaviour for anybody.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 9:35:17 AM

It's odd the the wording bothers you more than the deed.


Its not the wording, its the concepts. The deeds are what they are. Strictly speaking, if there ever could be a valid idea of someone being someone else's (man/woman) simply because they are screwing, then the instant a partner strays, they no longer are someone else's whatever.

Believe it or not, men are not led astray by lascivious women. The men are astray already, and happen upon willing partners.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 9:05:43 AM

...screwing another woman's man ...


Interesting concept. Men are somehow owned by women they have sex with! I wonder where that idea came from.

Its been made pretty clear that men can't own a woman, especially by women!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
So confused, why do men do this?
Posted: 1/21/2016 8:47:30 AM
Even women who are very well treated by their husbands get bored with them and lose interest in sex with them.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 324 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/8/2015 10:03:58 AM
What has always amazed me about the forums is how complete strangers ascribe all kinds of thoughts, characteristics, attitudes and beliefs to me.

I always have and continue to believe that sex is an important part of life, a natural and normal part of life and an enduring part of a relationship. What I don't believe is that it requires any particular set of rules about when and why it happens, and I don't believe that it is a commodity or currency for use in negotiating the power structure of a relationship.

I think that any lasting relationship will be based on many more factors that the simple act of sex, and I believe that focus strictly on the incidence and timing of sexual interaction is quite pointless if you have already had your family and don't want another one.

I can enjoy the company of a woman for who she is, and if it leads to a mutually enjoyable sexual relationship, so much the better. If not, I can still enjoy her company. Even if she has no physical appeal for me, I can still enjoy her company. People are, in my view, much more that a piece of tail.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 320 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 11:50:26 AM
^^^Still at it 3 times a night, 7 nights a week are you?

Of course everyone is different. However, I did not suggest that people loose interest, only that it does not dominate every working moment as it did in the days of youth.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 317 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 8:52:55 AM
What amazes me is that so many old folks ascribe any importance at all to sex. Its not a particularly novel experience, it has not major downstream consequences like children, and its already happened many thousands of times. Its commonly available in exchange for some minor investments in social courtesy, and for most people, its really of declining urgency. Its just a way of making someone feel good for a few minutes.

Bourbon is almost as good, and who agonizes over Jack Daniels?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 250 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/28/2015 7:21:16 AM

I told two men on this thread how many men I slept with and both of them are mad as hell at me. ONE even suggested I was a slut... LOL. Yea.... Yall make me laugh. I don't have to lie. Getting laid is as easy as saying yes and laying down.


Wow! A dream come true! Sexy, horny, easy! Too bad I am so old and repulsive....:(

BTw, we have all had our share of partners at this age....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 239 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/27/2015 11:24:00 AM
A famous author once wrote: "The best lovers are the ones in your bed"

Everything else is more or less BS....:)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 235 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/27/2015 10:24:55 AM

And I love how old men without a picture think they are handsome. SEEING IS BELIEVING.


Yeah, its pretty clear from your pic that there is a lineup around the block at your place.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Golddigging in the Minor Leagues
Posted: 11/26/2015 10:02:52 AM

If things are that bad in Montreal, then you need to relocate.


Things are never bad in Montreal.

If I ever did have a problem, it would be that there are way too many women available for fun and frolick in my life. That is what makes it worse!

Too much choice, so little time....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 216 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/26/2015 9:57:11 AM
Well, I have lots of female friends I don't have sex with and don't particularly want to have sex with. I could probably be persuaded if they wanted it.

What is complicated here? Men and women are drawn together because of sexual needs. There are loads of attractive members of both sexes at all ages. Get over yourself! You can find attractive sexual partners if you want. If you don't find any, change your social life until you do.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 213 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/26/2015 7:49:39 AM
If you don't want to have a sexual relationship, don't spend time running after a relationship with a person who does want sex. Have friends. Leave the sex to others.

If I don't want sex, I don't have to run after women, live with one, or spend time and money on them. Simple really.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Golddigging in the Minor Leagues
Posted: 11/26/2015 6:46:03 AM
Oh, its a lot worse than that!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Looking for Additional Hobbies to Enjoy
Posted: 11/26/2015 6:45:04 AM
Well, chasing the girls pretty well fills up the time if you are a single man. At least until one of them catches you. Thereafter, cleaning the garage pretty well covers it.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Do you have to be busy to be happy?
Posted: 11/10/2015 10:07:23 AM
Well, I am saying that you have to "settle" for the best you can get within your social network. Mr/Miss Perfect may or may not be in that circle, but they are not, you will never get them because you will never meet them. In the historical tribal environments that we spent millennia living in, the choice for living happily ever after was amongst maybe 10 to 20 possible candidates, and most people chose, then did the best they could to live happily ever after. So
me stats I have seen said that on average, people choose a mate that lives within a 2 mile radius of their home. Hardly likely that the perfect one meets that criteria.

If you want a mate, you do settle, unless you are incredibly lucky. The actual choice is not simply yours. You simply agree with someone to try to make a good life for yourselves. If you are in love, you succeed. You never actually find the perfect person, only the perfect match.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Do you have to be busy to be happy?
Posted: 11/10/2015 8:29:13 AM
Its all very well to decide what one wants. Practically, however, you can only meet a certain number of people in life, and unless you choose to accept one of those you meet, you will never find what you want. Its never likely that you will meet exactly who you want, but there will be lots who are more or less similar to your ideal.

Even if you could meet every other person on the planet, its not a sure thing that your hearts desire will be amongst them. Most people choose someone from their social circle and create a mutually acceptable life for themselves.

Its much easier to decline those who you know you don't want than to find the one that is perfect in every way you wish them to be.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Cant do this on POF....
Posted: 10/23/2015 9:20:09 AM
Oh, yeah. When you are over 50 you really want to be dating multiple women. Its just do much fun!

And there are so many opportunities! The phone never stops ringing! And dating is just so much fun, especially after you have spent years in a close and loving relationship.

I mean, who would not want to spend their time and considerable amounts of money running around with woman after woman, living with the uncertainty as to whether you will ever see one of them again, constantly sleeping (or not) in some place on the other side of the city, coming home on a cold Winter's night at way past your bed time, carefully controlling your conversation to keep your other encounters secret. Its a marvelous life.

I really don't know why anybody settles down with one person who you get along with, build a life with, form stable relationships with, don't have to worry about STDs with, sits beside you holding hands with you in the movies, helps you with family related events, and warms your common bed at night.

Good grief!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 1017 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 10/22/2015 11:07:47 AM

Perhaps the need is exceeded by the desire to not lower one's standards?


Doubtless. The operative word in my comment is "suffer". I am unwilling to sleep with just any woman simply because doing so grants the woman enormous power in my life. Its nothing to do with "suffering" however...
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 1015 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 10/22/2015 10:48:28 AM

I wouldn't mind solving a gal's dry spell :)


Well, I do know that there are great hordes of men ready to step up to the plate on that issue. So many, in fact, that I truly wonder why any woman would need to suffer a dry spell
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 1013 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 10/22/2015 9:56:59 AM
Good grief! 41 pages about what men 50+ want, and still no conclusion!

Well, my opinion is that what is wanted is a good friend who is willing to participate in the range of activities I like, a sexual partner, and who shows no signs of the crazies (like having 15 cats, belonging to animal rescue teams, or has a substance abuse problem).

I am generally happy in life, and she should be generally hap in life. I don't want to be a solution to anyone's problems! I want to be a creative partner in a mutually satisfying life.

As far as I can tell, there are great hordes of women in the immediate area who could fit the bill, if they so desired.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Geotags
Posted: 9/11/2015 9:34:54 AM
If you post anything on the internet, you have no expectation of any kind of privacy.

If you post a picture taken with any reasonable GPS enabled device, you are providing easily found location information to anyone who cares to examine the photo meta-data.

If you use the same picture for multiple purposes, Google will happily show anyone who searches your picture the scope of your life.

You might be surprised at the results of doing a google image search on your profile pic.....

Nothing you put on the net ever disappears for good. NOTHING!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 130 (view)
 
DO WE OVER 60'S GET LEFT BEHIND?
Posted: 9/9/2015 8:17:31 AM
There are a lot of young women who are quite happy to be with older men for all kinds of reasons, money being only one of them I have known cases where 18 year olds insisted on being with 60 year olds. Perhaps not for a long time, but certainly, according to them, a good time.

You can psycho-analyze the hell out of it, but the people involved generally could not care less about your opinions, and whatever their personal reasons for being in such relationships, its clearly their right to do so.

Personally, I can't figure out why any couple gets together and stays together, even although everybody is ready with an opinion.

Such relationships are not my personal preference, but then again, you are usually in a relationship that is related to who you happen to meet, not generally who you would like to meet.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 1626 (view)
 
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 9/4/2015 8:49:08 AM

ALL men are willing to give in return for this is the fact he is male. Nothing more.{/quote]

What an amazingly cynical and naive view of men and women. Indeed, men are attracted to the women they find attractive. I would presume that women are attracted to men that they find attractive. The man plus woman thing is a mutual support system. Relationships fail when the situation becomes something else other than mutual support.

There are all kinds of men and women out there. Lots of each cook, clean, take care of the kids, work to support the family and try to be appealing to their partners.

Indeed, I never really got the idea that I should support a woman per se. The ones I have had relationships with were all well educated and well paid, financially and socially independent, and generally quite attractive to me. Why should the relationship be anything but one of mutual support? Far as I can tell, my parents were in the same situation, in spite of the myths that abound that give rise to the kind of comments seen above.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Violence and Women
Posted: 9/3/2015 3:02:21 PM
We have already had a long discussion about rape and violence against women. Of course, in spite of the relatively infrequent nature shown by the statistics, people continue to want to develop the myth of the woman as a victim. Its true that many women do experience violence, and that is deplorable. For most women, however, it just does not happen, at least according to the statistics.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 918 (view)
 
What do 50+ men want?
Posted: 9/3/2015 2:06:23 PM

I would ask if they are Filthy Rich :)


Is that like someone who has a lot of dirty money???
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
15,000 Gov. emails revealed - 1000's registered on Gov't. and military servers
Posted: 9/2/2015 11:54:58 AM
Ah, Cotter...

Its always been pretty clear to me that you are not a fan. Its also clear that you are not one of the smarter people on the site.

I still can't figure out why anybody listens to anything you say.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
15,000 Gov. emails revealed - 1000's registered on Gov't. and military servers
Posted: 8/29/2015 10:19:31 AM
Analysis of the data hacked show that of the 37 million accounts, only 12,000 were real women, 68,000 were fake female profiles probably generated by the site operators, and only a relative few accounts were active.

Be nice to know the actual statistics of other sites. My experience on POF is that only a small number of accounts are in current use, and that many who created accounts years ago just don't bother to close them down. Makes me wonder what the real value of the site is in business terms.

I also find it spectacular that millions of men actually pay up to interact with a hopelessly small number of real women. What a brilliant fraud!

I suppose that the god news is that, in general, women don't appear to have much interest in cheating, or if they do, they don't make use of web sites to find hookups.

Men, on the other hand, are scumbags......:)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 1607 (view)
 
Are 21st century, western women intimidating?
Posted: 8/27/2015 7:40:42 AM
No point in worrying about the questions they add. Just reply with anything you feel will improve your chances.

Not only do I wear Crocs, I wear cheap imitations of Crocs.

Probably the reason my sex life is suffering...
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 241 (view)
 
Dealbreakers and +'s in a profile
Posted: 8/25/2015 12:18:39 PM
People are always ready to accept the cult of personality basis of history. Of course, when one examines the details of almost any significant advance in human thought or art, you quickly see that that advance happened within a context of many other trials and trends that made the advance possible. Without the thousands of years of development of mathematics and the advent of technologies capable of delivering observations, none of the advances in modern physics would have happened.

Humans mark consensus about advances with things like the Nobel Prize, or other awards in other disciplines. Who gets the credit is determined by vote of one kind or another and while the myriad of failed efforts are rarely given credit, the fact that these failed efforts cleared the way for others to advance is, IMO, just as significant as the efforts that succeeded. Without the knowledge of the failures, time an effort would be wasted repeating needlessly the failures themselves.

Of course Einstein's insights did not coalesce out of a vacuum. There is no point in trying to qualify his achievements, as if he never existed, some other personality would have emerged and been credited with insights to the way forward. The idea of the atom was originally documented by Plato, and the ancient Greeks certainly knew about the problems of observation and the difficulties of the geometry of reality. These concepts have reached their current refinements thanks to many contributions over the millennia, and there is really nobody in particular that deserves all the credit to the exclusion of all the others.
 
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