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 Author Thread: A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 153 (view)
 
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 8/24/2016 8:55:39 AM
Not, to my mind, the best version, but definitely addictive. I like Gary's version best.

Followed on my machine by "Girls just wanna have fun..."
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 335 (view)
 
Survey says...Jaded!
Posted: 8/18/2016 9:48:52 AM
If someone does not find you attractive, for whatever reason, they are doing you a huge favour. They are avoiding you, therefore they are not making you miserable by forming a relationship with you in which you will not be treasured, and hence miserable.

Be thankful that the men or women who don't find you attractive are ignoring you. There are plenty out there that will find you attractive, so stick with them.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 315 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 8/17/2016 11:25:41 AM
There are adults and non-adults. Historically, adulthood started at 12 or 14 years of age, today, it appears that anybody anywhere in their 20s is not yet an adult. Certainly, there are lots of 20 somethings living in their parents basements watching videos all day, at least in my neighbourhood.

Once you are an adult, why should there be any limits on who you have a relationship with? It should be uniquely up to the people involved, and it has nothing to do with pedophilia. What is appropriate is what works for you and the other person, period.

Why should a person of 60 something be constrained to date someone else of 60 something? People are so different in how age treats them, a healthy, active 60 something may be completely unable to find a date the can participate in his/her lifestyle within any reasonable distance. What does such a person do? Deprive themselves of a good relationship because some people believe that there should be age constraints to relationships?

Live your own life as you wish and as best you can. Your opinion on how others do it is your alone, and really not worth voicing, unless it is a supportive one.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 308 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 8/13/2016 10:53:25 AM
Obviously, being strongly focussed on age leads to all kinds of presumptions about others, and severely limits the possibilities of finding a relationship. Its a huge error to presume that the basis of decisions about who to be in a relationship with are dominated by age. Any person who wants a relationship has to adapt their thinking and behaviour to generate the kind of synergy needed to cement the relationship, and whatever one thinks about the motivations of the people involved, both parties are making some level of tradoff to continue the relationship. They do it willingly,

If you have a list of hard criteria, and age is number one, then you won't have an easy time finding a partner, and you will rationalize that by blaming others for your own problems.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 304 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 8/12/2016 1:43:53 PM
Good grief! Bashing generalizations of women don't contribute much to the discussion. Women are, by and large, just like men, and there are all kinds.

As I have said before, relationships are creative endeavours, and its up to you to find someone to create a happy life with.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 301 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 8/12/2016 12:58:57 PM
My view is that older men have more experience in forming and maintaining relationships than do younger women, and that older men are more motivated to find a companion than are older women. Generalizations, of course, but my own experience none the less.

It may be that women out of reproductive age are less driven to mate, hence more selective in their choices than are men, but I believe that the urgency that drives women in their reproductive phase fades and they achieve satisfaction with non-sexual social relationships, where as men are driven by their hormones well into their 60s, or about 20 years longer than women.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 294 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 8/12/2016 7:21:13 AM
OLD has in general been an exceedingly depressing experience and taking seriously most of the forum traffic makes it even worse. R/L is, in my own view, a much better way to get into a relationship, and more so because of the social engineering aspects of sites like this one. Get into a relationship with whoever want to get into one with you.

As for aging and its effects on physical appearance, yes, I wish I was 35 again, but there are loads of really attractive 60s and 70s and even 80s out there in R/L, and while its nice to dream of youth, there is no need to feel excluded from attractiveness because of simple age. Its much more about how you live and your attitude about yourself.

As for 'baby, you are pretty attractive to me, but you live a few thousand km away. That latter point limits any interest I might have, and I think its a general problem with OLD. It exposes you to all kinds of prospects that are simply beyond a reasonable commute!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 273 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 8/10/2016 7:14:31 AM
While there are indeed many couples that are living happily ever after and who are within a narrow age range of each other, there are also many couples who also live happily ever after and who have a large age gap between themselves. Historically, and in many current cultures, men married after going off to "seek their fortune", and marry much younger women. Being "realistic and mature" have very little to do with living happily ever after. In fact, if you go into it being "realistic", you probably have no chance of being happy with the results.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 268 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 8/9/2016 9:33:25 AM
You may not recall negotiating at 21, but you and she definitely chose what looked like the best deal from the available crop at the time. People say they are pickier now, but its just a bunch of BS. Nobody is cavalier about the people who they get into life with. You may get better at choosing someone more compatible because of your experience, but its not because you are more picky.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 142 (view)
 
Reaching new heights in analyzing and nitpicking....
Posted: 8/9/2016 9:02:39 AM
So....since my results have been abysmal does that mean my profile is full of lies?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 266 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 8/9/2016 8:59:05 AM
Nope. Its true love for both of them. He loves her young body and she loves his deep pockets!

Nothing wrong there in any event. We all negotiate our relationships.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
As a Baby Boomer From the 60's Now IN His 60's...
Posted: 7/11/2016 10:14:48 AM

Do 90+ year olds speed date?


I figure that by necessity, all dating at that age has to be speed dating. Not a lot of time left for taking it slow....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
A NEW queston about an OLD topic......
Posted: 7/11/2016 10:09:56 AM
I think the simplest solution is just to lie about everything. If you get caught it won't matter what the lie is about, you will be toast, just the same as when you only lie about one thing and get caught. Really, everybody lies about some things, so why worry.

I am pretty sure that hordes of people on this site lie about age, if only to get around the silly social engineering efforts of the site operator, to say nothing of the effort to appear to be younger to attract various target candidates. Since relationships are about feelings, not age or physical appearance or income or any of the other demographic factors you find in the screening filters, lies are pretty much irrelevant. The first time you meet someone, your feelings will immediately tell you what you want to do.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 4/8/2016 8:38:27 AM
I think that if you have ever had a warm and comfortable LTR, going back to dating is a truly horrid experience. As far as I can see, most people are quite happy to be in a good LTR, even if it is never perfect.

I also think that dating younger is the best strategy in that if you do find another LTR, you are less likely to face its loss through an older partner dying, although, there are never any guarantees in life on that front.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 90 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 4/8/2016 6:35:30 AM
Sorry, I find that a 45 year old woman who "looks younger than she is" is pretty funny. Most women in their forties, if they have not let themselves go, are still in the prime of appeal phase of life.

In any event, nothing particularly significant about dating younger, even a lot younger, if you can get away with it and if you can stand it. Each case is unique, and not particularly age related.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 4/7/2016 5:08:28 AM
The world is full with lonely looneies, and OLD has more tha its fair share of such people. Strange replies are to be expected.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
60 Is The New 40
Posted: 4/5/2016 7:08:24 AM
These days, unless you die, at 60 you have at least 20 more years to go before the rest home, perhaps 30, or if you are a woman, 40+.

That is the time it took you to pass your childhood, the time it took you to raise your kids, the time it took you to get married, then divorced, and the time it took you to go from the mail room to regional manager.

A whole lifetime when you think of it. And, if you have managed a good retirement plan, you get to spend it doing whatever pleases you.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 3/31/2016 10:01:23 AM
And....its a lot of fun wooing and winning them.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 3/31/2016 8:32:49 AM
Its the complaining that is silly. There are lots of places on the net where you can contact women of any age. Even more in RL.Not a lot to be gained by complaining about people who believe their theories of life are different from your own.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Being unrealistic about age of potential dates?
Posted: 3/31/2016 6:55:34 AM

I would not have thought it easier for an older woman to get a date with a younger man, than the reverse.
The younger man does not really want to spend money on the older woman but older men know they have to splash out to attract a younger woman and do so.


A lot of negative thinking expressed here. In RL people of all ages date all ages successfully, and the idea of spending money does not usually play an important part.

People who like each other and get along well form relationships. Every case is unique. All you achieve with pre-conceived ideas about relationships is spending more time alone and lonely. Successful and desirable are relative terms, and there is nothing unrealistic about having any relationship goal. Its all about what you are willing to do to achieve it.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
 
Profile Photos
Posted: 3/30/2016 8:04:26 AM
What? Does this mean its not only me that suspects that BA (And many other aliases, locations, etc) is a fake profile? Oh dear!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 163 (view)
 
Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 3/25/2016 4:27:28 AM
We all should be lucky enough to be kissing someone in our 70s.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 161 (view)
 
Dateing in your 70ies
Posted: 3/24/2016 11:35:38 AM
I always wondered as well what "a sweet woman" actually meant until I met someone that actually tasted sweet to me. Concluded that the combinations of body chemistry could work so that the couple actually experience sweetness when they have contact with each other, and frankly, it is something to be desired and sought after.

"Kisses sweeter than wine..."

Its actually a description of an experience that can be had, and not particularly related to personality. Its like how some women just fit physically, others just don't. Truely a strange phenomenon. Until you experience it, you just don't understand it.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 484 (view)
 
Mature Woman
Posted: 3/9/2016 2:27:23 PM

I can't even stand in heels


Oh dear! However do you generate sex appeal when you hit the meat markets?

:)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 478 (view)
 
Mature Woman
Posted: 3/9/2016 10:02:32 AM
Anybody who says they can't imagine having sex with someone who has a specified age or older better hope they drop dead before that age, otherwise, they will have to change their ideas or be prepared to live without sex when they hit that age.

Generally, I have found that there were many women at every age that did not appeal to me and that I could not imagine having sex with. However, it had nothing to do with the age of the person. Indeed, when I was younger, I did not look at "older" women as potential partners, but now being "older" I equally do not look at "younger" women as potential partners. However, the terms "older" and "younger" have for me pretty arbitrary meanings, and "partner" includes a lot more than just getting my rocks off.

These days I am quite happy to be in bed with a 50+ or 60+ or 70+ woman. They can be "partners" in my life style. Still, there are loads who hold no sexual interest for me, just a it has always been in my life. To me, the whole age thing is pretty silly. If you are lucky enough to live long enough and stay healthy enough, you can and probably will enjoy partners of any age.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 96 (view)
 
Something more than HI, you're cute
Posted: 2/26/2016 12:09:32 PM
Well, Op, I think I would be just perfect for you. Too bad you live in another country.

Sigh!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 100 (view)
 
LONG DISTANCE CONTACTS FOR OVER AGE 50
Posted: 2/10/2016 10:09:22 AM
Well, there are lots of instances of LD relationships that form and work out just fine. If everyone thought that LD was not workable, soldiers, sailors, expat workers, mail order brides and many, many other scenarios would be in total despair. Of course, they are not.

Its easy to fall in love with a LD partner. Just a little harder to bring it to fulfillment. But that will depend on what the parties really want.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
POF image shows up on nasty site
Posted: 2/5/2016 6:34:58 AM
Many just post a picture of whoever and use it for years. Huge numbers of the pictures on dating and other sites are no resemblance to the real life owners of the accounts.

I used to post pictures until they started to come back to me as other people.

You can always ask a person to send a photo via some other method, like a junk email account. Lots of options, really, and no need to fear contacting those without photos.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
POF image shows up on nasty site
Posted: 2/4/2016 2:18:49 PM
The instant you put your pic on a public site, it is available to everybody and will be used by people for anything.

People used to be able to exchange images privately on this site but the owner decided that at least men should be blocked from doing that. There is no way you can get rid of anything you put on the web, ever.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 278 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 1/29/2016 12:08:55 PM
The only cutoff age is the age where you decide to give up!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 271 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 1/27/2016 7:12:50 AM

You have to draw the line somewhere,


Well, you don't have to draw a line anywhere, you do because you think that there is such a thing as a relationship that is forever and that you, in particular, will be around forever. Of course, neither idea has any validity as you should already have realized from your own life experiences.

The only thing you achieve by drawing aline somewhere is the elimination of huge numbers of possibly wonderful people with whom you might have a truly wonderful life experience, even if it does not or can not last forever.

Yes, we all dream of an ideal partner, but we usually decide they are ideal long after we have met them, and in my experience, age never really affects our happiness. What affects our happiness is how we and our partners interact together. People in love don't change their minds as time goes on simply because a partner ages, at least most people don't.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 269 (view)
 
Is 61 the cut-off age for having any luck on POF?
Posted: 1/27/2016 6:06:59 AM
Its my observation that age does not really affect a mans interest in woman, but that age does affect a woman's interest in men.

As long as you want a man, there will be loads of them that are ready to step up to the plate.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 10:54:26 AM

I'm wondering , if your spouse cheated on you would your first response be "that's okay, I don't OWN you".


Well, it was many, many decades back, she did, I divorced her. Not because I owned her, but because I did not see the need to live with someone who screwed around.

Ever since, my personal policy has always been to get a woman out of my life if she screwed someone else other than me. Again, nothing to do with owning them, simply because there are a huge number of other women out there who will be happy to be with me and not screw around. Why waste time on one that is not happy and doesn't want to be with me?

If a woman wants to screw someone other than me, he/she can take over providing the benefits to her life that a relationship with me provides, and I can then focus my attention on someone else who is appreciative and values our relationship. Nothing at all complex there.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 9:43:19 AM

I'm sorry you're having trouble with the intricacies of the English language.


Well thanks for your concern. I don't really think I have trouble understanding English. There is no doubt in my mind that the context of this dicsussion, where a woman is berated for her behaviour with respect to "someone else's man", is based on the idea of possession in the sense of ownership, not reference.

If not, there would be no point to the criticisms, as in "screwing some random person", which is, in my opinion, a perfectly natural and normal behaviour for anybody.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 9:35:17 AM

It's odd the the wording bothers you more than the deed.


Its not the wording, its the concepts. The deeds are what they are. Strictly speaking, if there ever could be a valid idea of someone being someone else's (man/woman) simply because they are screwing, then the instant a partner strays, they no longer are someone else's whatever.

Believe it or not, men are not led astray by lascivious women. The men are astray already, and happen upon willing partners.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Diasppointing
Posted: 1/22/2016 9:05:43 AM

...screwing another woman's man ...


Interesting concept. Men are somehow owned by women they have sex with! I wonder where that idea came from.

Its been made pretty clear that men can't own a woman, especially by women!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
So confused, why do men do this?
Posted: 1/21/2016 8:47:30 AM
Even women who are very well treated by their husbands get bored with them and lose interest in sex with them.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 324 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/8/2015 10:03:58 AM
What has always amazed me about the forums is how complete strangers ascribe all kinds of thoughts, characteristics, attitudes and beliefs to me.

I always have and continue to believe that sex is an important part of life, a natural and normal part of life and an enduring part of a relationship. What I don't believe is that it requires any particular set of rules about when and why it happens, and I don't believe that it is a commodity or currency for use in negotiating the power structure of a relationship.

I think that any lasting relationship will be based on many more factors that the simple act of sex, and I believe that focus strictly on the incidence and timing of sexual interaction is quite pointless if you have already had your family and don't want another one.

I can enjoy the company of a woman for who she is, and if it leads to a mutually enjoyable sexual relationship, so much the better. If not, I can still enjoy her company. Even if she has no physical appeal for me, I can still enjoy her company. People are, in my view, much more that a piece of tail.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 320 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 11:50:26 AM
^^^Still at it 3 times a night, 7 nights a week are you?

Of course everyone is different. However, I did not suggest that people loose interest, only that it does not dominate every working moment as it did in the days of youth.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 317 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 12/7/2015 8:52:55 AM
What amazes me is that so many old folks ascribe any importance at all to sex. Its not a particularly novel experience, it has not major downstream consequences like children, and its already happened many thousands of times. Its commonly available in exchange for some minor investments in social courtesy, and for most people, its really of declining urgency. Its just a way of making someone feel good for a few minutes.

Bourbon is almost as good, and who agonizes over Jack Daniels?
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 250 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/28/2015 7:21:16 AM

I told two men on this thread how many men I slept with and both of them are mad as hell at me. ONE even suggested I was a slut... LOL. Yea.... Yall make me laugh. I don't have to lie. Getting laid is as easy as saying yes and laying down.


Wow! A dream come true! Sexy, horny, easy! Too bad I am so old and repulsive....:(

BTw, we have all had our share of partners at this age....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 239 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/27/2015 11:24:00 AM
A famous author once wrote: "The best lovers are the ones in your bed"

Everything else is more or less BS....:)
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 235 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/27/2015 10:24:55 AM

And I love how old men without a picture think they are handsome. SEEING IS BELIEVING.


Yeah, its pretty clear from your pic that there is a lineup around the block at your place.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Golddigging in the Minor Leagues
Posted: 11/26/2015 10:02:52 AM

If things are that bad in Montreal, then you need to relocate.


Things are never bad in Montreal.

If I ever did have a problem, it would be that there are way too many women available for fun and frolick in my life. That is what makes it worse!

Too much choice, so little time....
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 216 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/26/2015 9:57:11 AM
Well, I have lots of female friends I don't have sex with and don't particularly want to have sex with. I could probably be persuaded if they wanted it.

What is complicated here? Men and women are drawn together because of sexual needs. There are loads of attractive members of both sexes at all ages. Get over yourself! You can find attractive sexual partners if you want. If you don't find any, change your social life until you do.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 213 (view)
 
3rd date really?
Posted: 11/26/2015 7:49:39 AM
If you don't want to have a sexual relationship, don't spend time running after a relationship with a person who does want sex. Have friends. Leave the sex to others.

If I don't want sex, I don't have to run after women, live with one, or spend time and money on them. Simple really.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 54 (view)
 
Golddigging in the Minor Leagues
Posted: 11/26/2015 6:46:03 AM
Oh, its a lot worse than that!
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Looking for Additional Hobbies to Enjoy
Posted: 11/26/2015 6:45:04 AM
Well, chasing the girls pretty well fills up the time if you are a single man. At least until one of them catches you. Thereafter, cleaning the garage pretty well covers it.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Do you have to be busy to be happy?
Posted: 11/10/2015 10:07:23 AM
Well, I am saying that you have to "settle" for the best you can get within your social network. Mr/Miss Perfect may or may not be in that circle, but they are not, you will never get them because you will never meet them. In the historical tribal environments that we spent millennia living in, the choice for living happily ever after was amongst maybe 10 to 20 possible candidates, and most people chose, then did the best they could to live happily ever after. So
me stats I have seen said that on average, people choose a mate that lives within a 2 mile radius of their home. Hardly likely that the perfect one meets that criteria.

If you want a mate, you do settle, unless you are incredibly lucky. The actual choice is not simply yours. You simply agree with someone to try to make a good life for yourselves. If you are in love, you succeed. You never actually find the perfect person, only the perfect match.
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 81 (view)
 
Do you have to be busy to be happy?
Posted: 11/10/2015 8:29:13 AM
Its all very well to decide what one wants. Practically, however, you can only meet a certain number of people in life, and unless you choose to accept one of those you meet, you will never find what you want. Its never likely that you will meet exactly who you want, but there will be lots who are more or less similar to your ideal.

Even if you could meet every other person on the planet, its not a sure thing that your hearts desire will be amongst them. Most people choose someone from their social circle and create a mutually acceptable life for themselves.

Its much easier to decline those who you know you don't want than to find the one that is perfect in every way you wish them to be.
 
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