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 Author Thread: So I went on a whim and sent a message
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 18 (view)
 
So I went on a whim and sent a message
Posted: 7/26/2014 4:45:54 PM
If a guy wants a woman he's going to be specific and lock it down for sure, unless he's a weak male.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Confused! Please help
Posted: 6/13/2014 5:32:52 AM
Apparently this male has no idea what he's missing out on right? Because you know better, you had a really long, committed relationship on a cruise ship after all; if that doesn't let 2 people recognize the kindred soul in each other I cannot imagine what would. This is a case of unrequited true love where the slow one has no idea that they should damn well be in love...or else.

This is where you come in, to save himself from the woman he's with, because we all know she's not right for him. You're a kind owner though so you can forgive him his omission of her existence, after he's made to grovel a decade or so in abject sorrow and regret.

Sometimes the slow ones need to be ridden like the herd animal they were born to be, and don't spare the whip, they will appreciate your attention to detail in their training.

I can imagine your utter confusion as to why this isn't obvious to him. You get it, I get it and if the Keurig doesn't stop laughing I'm going to shoot it right in the face...

I think you should take a vacation out to Oregon, leave the high murder rate of Illinois behind for a few days to show the errant man-child and his woman what's in their best interest. Make sure not to forget to bring the lotion and a basket for easy retrieval. Is Precious ready for travel? Good, hop on that metal bird and bring this miscreant to heel.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is he just being friendly
Posted: 6/13/2014 5:18:45 AM
The things in life many people regret are the things they never tried for, went for, gave a shot. Use it or lose it.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
advice needed
Posted: 6/7/2014 1:35:32 AM
Women of all ages, shapes, sizes and attractiveness have trouble deciphering the guys who just want to get laid and those who are willing to commit. I can tell you, at least in my opinion, the more attractive you are the more of a problem this becomes. Guys will want to bag the hot girl all day long but MOST will not commit. They cannot handle the obstacles that come with dating a very attractive woman (ie men hitting on their girl both in front of them and away from them, their girl getting more attention then themselves, knowing that she's has options every which way but the highway, cheating, mistrust, lack of control these are only a few things). Not only that but I've dated guys who well were, well under my league, thinking that they would be happy to be with someone like me but instead it inspired their confidence that they could get more, get better, get bigger. So yes while it's important to maintain our physical attractiveness to the opposite sex because it creates more opportunities to find a mate there's a lot more that goes into getting a guy to commit then just being the "hottest girl" he's ever been with. Attractiveness gets your foot in the door but getting a seat at his table requires more than just looks. Don't you think? Curious your thoughts on this.


If the woman has a hard time deciphering if a guy wants her as a conquest or a mate she needs to change her criteria used for deciding that issue. Scientific method only uses a process long enough to determine an outcome or usefulness. If it's unsuccessfully inconclusive then another avenue is explored to find answers.

If men regularly don't measure up to the woman's standard that's her own fault for picking the same type of guys and not learning. Same if the type of guy she keeps encountering wants to bang her, but not commit. Goes along with the above point.

If a woman keeps thinking about her other options while deciding to be with one guy then she's not committed and gives a man reason to wonder about her faithfulness.

For a guy that wants to commit it will take more than being hot, he wants quality all the way around. Many very attractive females don't have a lot to fall back on other than their looks. Being told you're hot most of your life can discourage such things as increasing one's knowledge, personality, and general attitude. Why hunt when everyone lays gift wrapped food at your door? They don't have to...until the looks fade, then it's time to harass the cat breeder for companionship as they continually attempt to convince themselves they are happier being alone...crying over gallons of ice cream and Sex in the City reruns in the joy of solitude.

A woman that asks for my resume on a first date better be prepared for a thorough cross examination. I will also ask questions to determine her general outlook and how her mind works and many times the answer itself has no importance to me, but how she answers.

The smarter the man is, the better a liar he has the potential to be. If most guys you encounter are bad liars they probably look good, but have a box of rocks for brains.

A confident man will never worry senselessly about cheating, and if a woman does cheat that's her loss. No quality male wants a woman that settles for Spam when she has Prime Rib at home.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Second date tommorow she still won't share phone number.
Posted: 6/7/2014 12:46:45 AM
That makes logical sense. Show up and spend time with a guy who can roofie you if they're a predator, but not give out a number for safety or privacy issues...

Married, taken, nutball or completely devoid of logic.

If you're late or something comes up and you can't call her, let her sit there and reap the rewards of her silliness. No loss to you.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 15 (view)
 
When does it grow
Posted: 5/22/2014 10:14:15 AM
Very few women ever grow out of wanting Jesus Gerard Pitt who walks out in the sunlight and looks like he's been bedazzled by a crazy kid on crack. They have this make believe "standard" they feel they deserve, more times than not...they deserve a lot less due to what they have to offer the man, but reality doesn't end the delusion. The only reasons I figure they have this entitlement issue is probably due to when everybody started getting trophies for participating instead of excelling, Sex in the City, and Disney princess cartoons.

For example, a guy has gotten an education, worked, or straight worked his butt off, blazed his path, become successful and he's a high end male, who will meet many women. Many of those women will be good looking, and not much else. Her looks by themselves won't justify a good investment for the man. As time goes on, if he's intelligent, his net worth will go up and his leisure time will increase. Her appearance will not, so if that's all her worth is based on, the investment is devalued over time. Though that is the self currency many women in America seem to value.

I suggest to young men that they pretty much put dating on the backburner. Keep your eye out for all that around dime woman and treat her right if she shows up before your mission is completed, but the focus should be excelling at whatever you decide to do, being a man in full and being happy on your own. In this way each sunset you view is beautiful on it's own, and when you meet the woman worthy of who you have become, those sunsets will pale compared to her.

Until then don't sweat the chickenheads, round file them in the oxygen thief bin, don't look back and be grateful you didn't get the decades duration STD of child support from eggs not worthy of your DNA.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Confused about this guy from work: why such a behaviour, is he into me, what to think and do?
Posted: 5/22/2014 9:54:35 AM
Your profile would need to have a pic before I could tell if he liked you enough for a legover, or a pal to attend fashion week with.

When I'm interested in a woman and she doesn't gaze at me with sheer loathing and the hate power of 10 suns- I ask her out. I would much prefer that if a woman was interested in me that she would wear a flashing neon sign that advises me to ask her out, or runway lights leading directly to her panties, but I haven't met any of those women yet...the search continues.

If he hasn't put his knees in the breeze in 3 months, imagine how long it would be before he got the balls to kiss you? You'd be collecting your retirement by then.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Is he being sincere?
Posted: 5/22/2014 9:36:57 AM
This reminds me of the scene in Rocky when the enforcer told Rock to bring Adrian to the zoo for their first date...

People normally don't even begin to know one another until they've divorced each other. So any guy that states he thinks he can see himself with a woman from bringing her to the zoo is psychic or has used that ploy before to successfully get some notches.

You went to his apartment on the first date, kissed and then left huh...you mean after you fixed him breakfast the next morning? I sense shenanigans on that last bit. I could be naïve, but I never knew a woman that came over to my place just to watch Wheel of Fortune, they all knew what was up and wanted it and if they treated me right, romanced me properly and asked real nice; every once in awhile they were rewarded.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Is he playing hard to get?
Posted: 5/22/2014 9:20:42 AM
You're being groomed as a beard. The upside is that you will have a guy to watch chick flicks with, happily go shopping with and you both can giggle and talk about cute boys.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Found my bf back on here...after a year :( help
Posted: 5/22/2014 1:53:23 AM
What I really believe is happening here is that your man is an undercover agent for MI-6 and is using the soldier-hacking as a cover so as not to tip off the Russians as to his true mission. Obviously this man is a hero for the ages and you should support him in whatever he says. I also suggest you keep having sex with him until he's knocked you up, because that will keep him faithful and give him a reason to come back to you after all his harrowing, life threatening and selfless acts of courage while in the field.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 73 (view)
 
HELP!!! Husband cheats on pregnant wife?? HELP!!!
Posted: 5/22/2014 1:45:26 AM
The mistress asking for guidance on an ethical dilemma to tell her BF's wife because he's cheating. I just read what OP stated and nothing afterwards, already knew the issue. Wonder if she comes clean? Awesome :D
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 3 (view)
 
just looking for insight
Posted: 5/9/2014 8:15:29 AM
Goes hand in hand with the double standard of American "feminism" equal until the check comes. Pretty much equal unless they don't like it, then it's "you wouldn't understand."

It could also be she's a devout follower of Twilight and Sex in the City where those chicks are waiting for a guy with glitter to start walking around in the sunlight or they're shopping for Mr. Big...when they're on a dollar menu budget in what they have to offer in return.

A squared away woman goes after what she wants. The rest have some kind of weird hypocritical hang-up, psychosis, or the cat harem has advised her not to pursue men due to the inherent evil born into all the members the male gender.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 4 (view)
 
How can I tell if my boss likes me in that way
Posted: 5/5/2014 12:35:46 PM
Every once in a blue moon you'll find a female that is amazing. Like when she gets naked cherubs break into songs of adoration and a rainbow appears from between her legs. A woman like that, you quit your job and get it on lockdown. Anything below that level you just keep her in the spank bank until you get a better job elsewhere.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
To invite or not?
Posted: 5/5/2014 11:50:56 AM
You do know the process of dating is getting to know someone right? I know people are different from Quebec though...

He's in a rebound cycle. You want to just be a legover and an emotional crutch/counselor? Go for it. Otherwise give him some time to heal before you sink your claws into him.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 3 (view)
 
too much or not enough in bed? and how can we regain focus?
Posted: 5/4/2014 3:49:04 PM
How do you feel abut herpes or AIDS? Think about it. Condoms aren't like the force field on the star ship Enterprise.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 55 (view)
 
He keeps coming back online - wouldn't delete his profile
Posted: 5/3/2014 3:12:46 AM
If you're shamed it has nothing to do with me, and if that's all you read out of all that you might want to look into that... I didn't write anything about obesity itself, I described an unrealistically ridiculous mindset. In general I do shame dumb people quite often (just the willfully dumb), it's an addiction I don't want to overcome and am not shamed by.

I don't care if someone is obese as long as they're paying for their own medical care, or have a pre-existing medical disability or condition (not being obese itself) that prevents them from paying for it. That's their own personal decision. Barring a medical condition I can get anyone to lose weight, if they want to. Guaranteed, as long as they do what I say.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
eliminate competition
Posted: 5/3/2014 12:08:27 AM
When a man wants a woman he pursues her. He's going to work on locking that choice woman down. If his actions are anything less than that he's not very interested or he's a weak male. You don't want to waste your time with either of those options.

Round file him, re-bait your hook and keep fishing.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 53 (view)
 
He keeps coming back online - wouldn't delete his profile
Posted: 5/2/2014 11:51:40 PM
I don't trust anyone that actually thinks they're a princess unless they have the official title through family lineage, marriage to or bestowed by an actual monarch. I figure they live by the law of Sex in the City, or a Kardashian and are therefore removed from reality. Personally when I see or hear someone describe themselves as a princess when they're allegedly an adult; I'm convinced I'll be dealing with a Barbie mentality looking for me to finance her castle, shopping sprees and vanity mutt's lifestyle while being expected to believe 2+2 = purple...or else.

I was at a bar in Amsterdam a month ago and met a group of Irish teachers. All quite nice on the surface, all very attractive physically, dressed up with breast and butt plumage spilling out and one was a princess with huge trust issues. All of them had serious boyfriends, which is fine with me to leave it at a "pal" level because they were entertaining to converse with. I did find it interesting that women from the UK and America tend to like to dress up to be looked at and flirt with at least one bemused, single American guy traveling around...and whoever else was on the hunt, but still be all about their men back home. All about their man, apparently means something different to quite a few women in the UK and US than it does to me and women (so far) in Western Europe. For instance; if a committed woman in Western Europe goes out and has a man it's nice jeans, top, they're friendly but remain cool and distant. They're not looking for male attention with appearance or actions. So they're not having the equivalent of a paid dating profile online, because they're not looking and their actions show it.

The lovely looking Irish didn't mind hugging, occasionally hopping on my lap or pulling me to dance, an activity I hold with the same distaste as people blaming forks for being obese. A normal guy would see all that as being all about something other than having a serious relationship. I sure wouldn't want my woman's backside or chest up against some other guy's chest or lap. Those are not actions of commitment, somewhat of a complete lie I'd say. Like when people say they're in a committed relationship, but they don't commit to taking 5 minutes to modify a profile to show there's no interest in meeting others or when they state they will delete a dating profile and don't. To commit is 100% or it's a lie. This is similar to being partially pregnant, it doesn't exist.

The Irish princess head case who was all about her man and transferring her nice back end to me, her temporary relationship counselor for the night and a French guy that was going for broke trying to get it in; had said that people in the UK don't go to therapy, that's a US thing. I'm sure they do, but it apparently has negative connotations and done on the downlow. She definitely needed some help because her actions in her relationship, so much distrust, anger and residual issues from having been cheated on before while she ground her backside on other guys would keep a therapist busy for awhile.

As far as introducing potential mates to spawn, I'm fiercely protective over people that are important to me, luckily there's only a few of those that qualify for that coveted position. I don't put those loved ones in position to be damaged if I can ever help it. Even with another parent involved kids get attached to the 3rd party. Kids also emulate the behavior of their parent. Stability is important to kids.

I also don't believe you know someone until you have been around them a couple of years, lived with them and/or divorced them. Nor do I believe you can love someone truly until you know them. Any other "love" emotions before those milestones is just nature fooling you into getting bred.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Communication on Vacation
Posted: 5/2/2014 10:53:54 PM
My opinion about vacation communication isn't to be expected from a guy, or much of anything else when the woman has an open dating profile looking for what's out there and/or seeking a guy that fulfills A, B, C etc...qualifications.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Why do guys lie about how they felt after first date?
Posted: 4/28/2014 2:10:46 PM
From looking at your pictures and reading your profile; the guy is more than likely homosexual. Why are you attracted to gay men? Might want to figure that out before you continue dating.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Perfect guy, but I'm afraid
Posted: 4/26/2014 4:21:15 AM
One kiss in almost 5 months? You should both become nuns. He can't be experienced if it took that long to go for a kiss. Almost everyone is going to have tons more experience than you, part of that whole being a virgin thing.

You need a guy that moves like a glacier apparently. I figure when you're good and ready to breed you'll be 65.

Do what makes you content, happy, secure, tell guys upfront exactly what you want and expect, how you feel relationships should go. Don't drag a guy along for the ride and expect him to read your mind.

I have a feeling you're going to need to date asexual guys, or ones who don't like sex. My instinct tells me your future guy's sex life is going to be similar to tossing a cold fish around.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 30 (view)
 
To stay or to go...Conflicting thoughts
Posted: 4/25/2014 7:02:38 PM
If your statements are all facts then:

1) She's lazy and needy. Worse than stage 5 clinger is a lazy stage 5 clinger who expects you to do their emotional bidding.

2) WoW and motorcycles being blamed for bad relationships is like blaming guns hopping up and shooting people on their own, or blaming forks for making people fat. She still hasn't grown up to take responsibility for her own failures in her past relationships. Easier to deflect than being an adult and learning and taking ownership of mistakes.

3) She's an insecure bunny boiler and it doesn't get better. She wants you as her own personal skin suit and will attempt to isolate you from anyone she sees as a potential threat to that.

4) Guilt trips you in order to manipulate you to do, act, think and behave like she wants you to act. You are the living Ken doll to her to her deranged version of Pixar BF world. You're to obey and that's all. This is when grabbing your sack and speaking up would behoove you.

5) Sharing finances, you better love a woman truly to do that or risk ending up on a relative's couch when she cleans you out. If you have made mutual plans with finances, have met those goals then the rest is cake to do with whatever.

6) Place your phone on silent.

7) Even wants to dictate the exact manner of affection you give her. She wants your balls securely in her purse, forever.

8) One of you got a truck, better figure that out before you end up in court over it.

9, 10, 11) You sensing a theme yet here?

You need to pack up your stuff and leave, after you figure out whose truck it is. Change your number, steal your balls back out of her purse, separate money, finances and utilities completely. You'll probably need to move out of the State to avoid her successfully. Take a long time out, don't mess with any women until you figure out why you're attracted to a woman like that, then fix what ails you. Heal, do the grieving, don't screw an innocent woman over with your PTSD.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Rebound break up...feeling hurt and so is she. What do I do?
Posted: 4/25/2014 6:32:22 PM
She's a nutball. Be thankful you didn't knock her up or was out of a lot of money. Repay your karmic bro-fist by petting some orphans or something.

She's walking dysfunction and you got caught up in her looks and her sex skills. There is rarely any true emotion from short term sexual relationships. The emotions you feel are a biological process to fool you into breeding, they're not authentic emotion. Your body is not always your pal when it comes to good looking females, and I assume she has to be hot to want to even attempt to deal with her myriad of issues. She's got to fix all her malfunctions on her own before she's ever going to be productive partner in any relationship.

I'll never be convinced that someone truly loves if they can drop trou right after a serious relationship. Doubt you're ever going to want to be the temporary ex where if you have a fight she goes and finds the next meat pole ride substitute until you tell her you want her back. She wants sex, emotions, the past, the future and probably some alcohol.

Run and find a good woman that treats you right, a good woman knows where her bread is buttered and nothing else matters to her except cultivating that one relationship.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Too early to give her a small gift on second date?
Posted: 4/22/2014 3:34:49 AM
When I clicked on the link I was wondering if the little gift you were going to give her came in a box, like the old SNL Justin Timberlake skit.

Only give a woman gifts and tokens of affection if you plan on doing it forever. If it's just during a courtship phase and fizzles out later on after a relationship then you're both going to be back on POF. Win her on the caliber of your personality and worth as a man. There's not a better gift than the company of a good man to a good woman.

I like Hyde Park. I stayed at the Corus a couple of times when I was in London. They have fat albino squirrels in Hyde Park. They're rotund rodents that won't run much and they walk like bulldogs. I used to buy some day old bread close to the park and go watch the sunset in Hyde Park with my entourage of white tree rats. They'd walk behind me until I found a bench I'd like then they'd group around for their handouts. Some would politely take the bread from my hand and we'd watch the sun go down together. When the bread and sun was gone they'd waddle off. You might want to bring some popcorn or bread with you and show your date that even squirrels adore you...for bribes.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 16 (view)
 
what to do to get a proper date?
Posted: 4/22/2014 3:11:18 AM
Why do guys not fix proper dates?


They are:
1) BS'rs that are on a meeting site to get away from the tediousness of their everyday life. Probably using it as a distraction for attention as their wife, SO, GF is having an affair with one of his friends or a neighbor. Aren't getting attention from their woman because she's been knocked up too many times, is tired and his idea of helping out around the house is thinking about lifting the toilet seat when he urinates, but then just skips it altogether and uses the sink as a urinal.

2) Time waster with delusions of romantic grandeur that believe women should swoon and bend over from the magnitude of the mere thought of him bestowing her with his gaze of carnal power. No effort needs to be put out when you have it going on like that.

3) He's cheating and has a whole stable of dumb ones on his jock so can choose to be picky or he finds something shinier to spend his money on.

4) Guys are used to the above 3 types of women and find it hard to put much effort or thought into meeting a woman because of disappointment and/or being used as free meals, so they schedule cheap meets. You might not be able to spend 30 minutes drinking coffee with a woman, much less be able to endure hearing her drone on during a full blown date about how wonderful the Kardashians or Twilight is. I know I couldn't.

Just round file the time wasters because they can't be legally executed. Though I prefer the latter because the theft of oxygen should be reasons for deportation into deep space. There's a multitude of people utilizing online meeting sites that state they know what they want, but have no idea. Their desires and wants come from books and movies instead of actually understanding what they want out of life. That results in wishy washy people that are fascinated by whatever is shiny at that point in time that fits into their version of Pixar romance world. One second it's interest, effort and wait...squirrels!

Set times, dates, what you're wearing, how to recognize them easily, venue or tell them GTFO. If a guy wants you he's going to be eager to set times, dates etc...
 Soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Blocked but still sending messages?
Posted: 4/18/2014 9:18:20 AM
You're being sized up for a skin suit.

Don't assist any strange guys with a cast on their arm asking you to help them load a piece of furniture into their van.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Should I message again?
Posted: 4/17/2014 1:45:29 AM
If I ever come across the rare hard sell that I actually want- I will type this:

I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make you weak in the knees and will make your heart throb at the mere thought of me. If you let me get to know you and we like each other, that won't be the end of it, you're going to want more. If by chance you don't respond I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you do, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will thrill you.

See how it works.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Man I've not yet met has told me he loves me!
Posted: 4/17/2014 1:30:50 AM
I suggest scheduling an appointment with an immigration lawyer so that you have a set plan in place to get him a Visa ASAP. Those things can take time, so it's always best to get your ducks in a row right out of the gate. I'd also check out a baby name book from the library and start looking through it. Keep a legal pad and pen near you so you can jot down the names you like and run them by the Kenyan when he's able to score some internet money from you and can log on at the café or at home when his wife is away at the market shopping for some mandazis. Have you thought about getting married following his cultural traditions? Kenyan weddings are normally held on Saturdays and gifts to in-laws are customary, so you're going to have to get in good with his mom and dad in order to find out what kind of loot they want. I understand planning a wedding can be hectic, time consuming and you might not have time to do the necessary research so a couple of healthy young goats and some shiny glass beads would suffice.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Date seemed to go well.....l but
Posted: 4/17/2014 1:19:23 AM
Regency is smart.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 14 (view)
 
During our second date and he did not want to dine out
Posted: 4/14/2014 4:09:29 AM
I hope the OP's profile is just made up for the Forums. Blurry pic and generic About Me...gear grinder. I can't imagine a guy wanting to travel for 4 hours, spend over a $100 for dinner in Manhattan to feed you and then pay for a hotel on top of it; unless the guy knew for a fact that when you put on a tight skirt and walked- it causes rainbows to appear and cherubs to burst into songs of praise. That's ballpark $300 (I don't spend 300 in a month on my own food. Even though dinner might not cost 300 by itself, that's about what he'd spend in the process of feeding you one meal) expenses for a 2nd date and a lot of effort, and for anything less than a cherub cheering section, doesn't interest me.

Why did you think he'd be interested in seeing your place, is he an architect or home decorator? Normally the only thing a guy wants to see in a woman's house is her fridge and her bed. He probably figured since you were inviting him over to your house for 2nd date he was going to get fridge and bed time. I thought that was pretty standard; if a woman invites you over to her place, it's because she wants some fun. Like she doesn't wear granny panties on a date if she thinks someone else might be seeing them.

I suggest rewriting your profile entailing you expect guys to travel to you, buy you dinner at a nice place and then nurse their blue balls in a hotel of their choosing before their drive back to wherever they came from. That way you won't have any miscommunication in the future.

Squared away on the consideration Carol.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 4 (view)
 
nice mug or fit body. What do you prefer
Posted: 4/14/2014 12:18:43 AM
You willing to change your face or body to get dates?

In my opinion that's the wrong reason to change who you are. Be the best version of yourself you can be because that's what fulfills your own goals as a man. When you become a man in full the only person you have to impress is yourself. With that comes confidence in who you are and women will respond to that.

My son is a good looking guy, and he has to have the certain clothes, hair done right, a regular gym goer and looks in the mirror a lot. On looks alone he can get the attention of most females in the age bracket he's interested in. I tell him, and wholeheartedly believe, that getting attention can be superficially easy to do. Shiny things will attract the low IQ type, and if you're just into the hunt, catch and release- then the physical is all you need. If you want to keep a good one, you better be a man in full or you'll be replaced when one does come along in her life.

I also tell him, as all fathers should tell their sons but don't, if you want to be the man it takes more than just wanting to be that guy. If more men understood that then they would forge their own path in life and be much more satisfied with their lives. If males followed that path they'd also see women will respond to it as a default. Too many men are focused on doing what they can in order to appease women in general. Appease yourself and when you get a good woman, that's when you bust your ass to please her, looking good, staying in shape so she keeps being attracted to you physically. She's the only one worth that effort and if she's worth it, she'll be doing the same.

I've had quite a few women ask me on dates, " Where do you see yourself in 5 years?" I'd say, "What do you mean? I'm good enough right now where I don't need to be someone else in 5 years. I always have the desire to be better today than I was yesterday, but who I am now is good enough for 5 years from now too. I live how I want today and sleep easy every night and I will in 5 years too."

Those women expect a guy to be in a certain type of box. That's a big bunch of nope. I am my own box and won't scramble around trying to figure out what someone else wants according to a list of being sponge worthy on a long term basis. Most women don't know what to do with that, and if you're looking for the right woman you won't want most women anyways.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
No planning dates
Posted: 4/13/2014 11:59:26 PM
In the courtship stage both genders will normally not be their true selves, because many times that's not going to please a lot of people. So you get the nice, considerate, think before you speak version. We all slack off a little to a degree as time goes on in a relationship and have to remind ourselves to get back on point, but many times in your situation it's normally white noise consideration as part of the hunt in order to get what he wants, which could be you, or a physical area of you for a little while.

During this stage your rose colored glasses are full on in respect to him because you like him. The courtship is when you have to pay close attention to his behavior and how he acts to get a more true picture of who he is. Though we never seem to know a person until we have lived with them for awhile or divorced a person; we can get a sense of who they are and whether it's worth pursuing something more meaningful relationship-wise.

He could also be a very bland and boring person with no originality nor good ideas. If this is the case then you might want to get used to taking the lead...forever. Some lead, others find a happy medium, quite a few would do well in a sheep flock.

Personally I will get bored fast if I'm doing all the prep, planning and ideas. It gets to be like planning a big day out for a child. You do all the work and they just go along for the ride. Fine for that situation, not for a potential partner unless you just like taking charge 24/7. I can understand your frustration, I don't want to feel like I'm babysitting an adult either-and won't.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 43 (view)
 
Do women get bothered when you approach them in public?
Posted: 4/13/2014 5:40:57 AM
Women love it when you walk straight up to them, hand them your phone and say, " Hurry up and put your number in there before I don't want it anymore..." If she looks at you funny as she tries to take in and process so much man at once- be sure to impatiently tap your foot to encourage action on her part. Chicks dig being motivated by a man.

Next time you're having coffee, approach a woman, and her response is to roll her eyes at you...snap your fingers in front of her and tell her to focus, the big show is over here and she doesn't want to miss it. Then when she focuses on you tell her, "You're welcome." Females adore a guy with manners. Then smile at her in a charmingly devilish way, wink at her and then drink her coffee.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 8 (view)
 
I gave him my number...he gave me his
Posted: 4/12/2014 3:51:20 PM
Yes, you're over analyzing.

He can't meet you until you get back from wherever.

2-3 messages to try and discern if someone is acceptably sane then you meet with no deeply emotional expectations. Look to satisfy your curiosity and enjoy some time out with someone who is interesting. That's all.

Women also have to do their part to show a man she's interested. Especially if the guy has some good things going for him; he's not going to have to settle for scraps tossed to him and he knows it.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How to help a single dad?
Posted: 4/12/2014 2:32:26 AM
You actually thought about if you're ok with being 5th or 6th on the priority list? As Teal stated, there's only so many hours in the day. A dad who is already tired from his day, isn't going to get allotted extra time and energy with someone else in his life. It's similar to having a paper plate at a BBQ and trying to decide where to stack an extra rib when there's no more space. As painfully heart breaking as the ordeal can be, sometimes you have to leave that sexy rib where it is and manage what you have on your plate or risk the whole thing getting dumped.

I didn't have relationships or date when I was full on raising my son. No real time and not considerate of a woman who would have to accept me being stretched thin and her taking what was left over that I had to give. No matter who the people are, relationships take a good amount of personal time and effort specifically between the two people. I don't want to ever play 3rd string, so didn't want to place someone else in that position.

Also, as time goes on and a relationship deepens, so does the effort and time dispersion. One or two dates a week is just the tip compared to 24/7 managing your life around someone else's schedule. You don't want to get involved in a kid's life and then decide later you don't want to deal playing 2nd fiddle a couple years down the road.

If you're good to go with all of the above then give as your guy needs and hopefully your own needs will be met and fulfilled. Ask him if you can do anything to help, and if he wants it then do so, if not don't take it personal and be satisfied with the situation.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Question about pictures
Posted: 4/12/2014 2:13:10 AM
Recruit a gaggle of females not related to you (GFs of pals, pal's female relatives that don't have a vested interest in you) have them bring you shopping and then do what they do...take a gazillion pics and have the females choose a few that are accurate, clear and would be most appealing to other females.

If your pics are good enough for a woman to possibly imagine decorating your ears with her ankles that's all it pretty much takes for her to nibble the bait. I haven't read your profile, but if you're after an intelligent woman you'll need to write a profile that intrigues her. I wouldn't worry about the smart ones though, they're pretty rare so not really worth the effort on your profile unless that's the only woman you want.
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 3 (view)
 
5 Good Dates, No Call Back
Posted: 4/12/2014 2:04:29 AM
He'll call when he starts to get blue balls. Might want to decide how much you enjoy being a DNA suppository since he's an interesting guy you like spending time with...
 soupsandwich73
Joined: 12/13/2013
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Dating tips for a heavy guy losing weight?
Posted: 4/10/2014 6:26:07 AM
Don't worry about females right now, they'll come after you become the guy you want to transform into.

There are a few females who don't care about your financial status and will just want you for the bright, shining knight hero that you are inside. You'll find most of those women in one of those Shrek cartoon movies. A woman may not be about gold digging you for loot, free meals, gifts etc...but few are going to want to support you; unless you're a complete DB. Those guys always seem to get those women.

The best thing about being near bottom economically and physically is that there's a lot of room for upward mobility. Sit down, and really use your brain to think about what makes you happy in life, and what you can do to make that happen. Women won't do that for you, no one outside of yourself can do that. Once you've figured that out, make a solid list of what you have to do to get what you want, then stick to it with single minded determination.

Never improve yourself for anyone else, do it because it makes you smarter, stronger, faster etc...because that's what you want for yourself. Success will naturally give you confidence. After you have achieved your personal goals of weight loss and making money, then you can work on gaining social skills and confidence talking to females. Females are great ( some of them) but they're nothing to be afraid of until you divorce one.

Everybody's genetics are different. Some people are very adaptable to diet and exercise, meaning if you do cardio and weight training you can stagnate because your body adapts quickly and will actually lower your metabolism. That's going to discourage you, because if the heat turns off you won't lose weight.

Plateaus are another thing to consider, you pick a workout regimen and then vary your workouts every 3 days. Muscle confusion. So if you choose a cardio system do elliptical, jog, fast walk, walk at a steep incline, jump rope, swimming etc...

Then there's diet. You have to pay attention to calories, and fat. No fast food, it's garbage no matter what. Lots of water, no sugar unless it comes from whole fruit. Stick to fish, chicken breast and turkey for meat proteins. You can be less strict when you reach your weight and physical goal. One cheat day can turn into 3 days of cheating consecutively. After you've established your diet and exercise as a lifestyle then you can get more lax on indulging, and if possible indulge in healthy food. It's best to view food as fuel and not as a pleasure enhancer to complete your life. Eat enough to do what you have to do without starving, and where you're a tiny bit hungry always. Keeps your brain sharper.

Establish a routine and stick to it. Work out at the same time everyday. Get up no matter how you feel and do it. You become an Adonis chicks off the net are going to approach, bet on it.

Goal, iron will discipline and self motivation. That should be your mantra for life in all aspects of your life.
 
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