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 Author Thread: Are men intimidated by women making first move?
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Are men intimidated by women making first move?
Posted: 10/4/2008 1:20:59 PM
Marnie, it's all about the type of man. It seems you seek out men that want a more passive woman. Or they themselves are more passive and thus desire somebody a little more along their lines.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 126 (view)
 
Can men deal with NOT getting blowjobs?
Posted: 9/30/2008 7:59:14 PM
Jen, it all depends on the man. I really like oral sex so it would be a deal breaker for me. Some men aren't that keen on oral and they would be great for you - as you have already seen. Just be up front about it (you don't have to say why) when it comes up and let the chips fall where they may.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
is sex everything in a relationship?
Posted: 9/27/2008 10:29:59 PM
You're both right. Sex is not everything in the relationship, but if the sex is bad and has no hope of improving the relationship has a huge sticking point. Physical intimacy is important enough to most people to break up over, and that doesn't make them shallow.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Can a relationship work out if the woman does the chasing?
Posted: 9/27/2008 10:28:40 PM
These books and so forth are wrong. Most men won't mind in the least if you chase them.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 208 (view)
 
If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 9/25/2008 5:41:57 AM
I'm not dating because I have no idea how to reconcile how to meet people with the fact that I don't like being disturbed by others when I'm out and about and don't like being disturbed. Makes it difficult to set up a date when you never say 'hello' to anyone.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is it ever cool to ask what happened here?
Posted: 9/17/2008 8:39:57 PM
My take is that he is not that interested in you and is wussing out about it. But it's always cool to ask "what's going on?" Take him at his word and at his actions. I'd move on if I were you.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
When a guy says he wants a fit or healthy girl
Posted: 9/17/2008 8:38:15 PM
Fit means healthy body composition. Active means not a couch potato. Healthy means just that, not sick and not hypocondriac.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
I Am Curious About Something So Give Your Thoughts Guys
Posted: 9/16/2008 10:11:33 PM
To answer your question TxsippiGal, well . . . you already answered your own questions. Married men want to let the single women they are with know they are married. It's pretty easy to do this by mentioning said wife. Guys in committed relationships also do this by mentioning their girlfriends. This puts you on notice that he's in a committed relationship. It's that simple. If a married guy is flirting with you it doesn't necessarily mean he's trying to cheat - it just means he's flirting.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
How to deal with a guy that dosen't respect you.
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:43:23 PM

“how does a gal deal with a guy that don’t respect her and that don’t respect herself”

There I changed it to be more accurate.

Respect yourself and get the hell away from him.

Friends? ........ why in the world do you want to whimper around and stay friends?

Sorry OP - you are acting like some of these young guys - trying to be “friends” with a gal - hoping she will toss him a bone someday.

Turn around - stand up tall and walk away and stay away.

......... respect yourself


Dang it ron9, now I don't have anything to say.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 122 (view)
 
Physical Attraction.... Does it really matter????
Posted: 9/8/2008 7:41:13 PM

Should I be worried about it? would it be possible to have a long-healthy relationship if I'm not physically attracted to her


The answer is - maybe, but most likely not. But that's going off my definition of a healthy long-term relationship and that includes a healthy sex life. It's impossible to have a healthy sex life if you are not attracted to the person.

You may learn to be attracted to her, but if you want anything out of this relationship you and she need to talk and talk now. About where you both think this is going, what you need, what you expect and everything else. If you're both cool with how things are for now and willing to wait and see then you wait and see. But if you aren't on the same page you need to cut each other loose.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
dating a woman from work
Posted: 9/6/2008 7:18:28 PM
I know you asked for women's opinions, but I'll give you mine anyway. Never, under any circumstances, fish off the company pier. NEVER! If you want to date her find another job.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
3 Months, no sex?
Posted: 9/4/2008 9:01:39 PM
You have to make a decision: either you want to stay in a non-sexual relationship or you don't. You have no reason to think she's lying, and she told you flat out your relationship will not be sexual. If you are fine without sex learn to live without it. If you require sex in a healthy relationship then get out now.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
The Right To Live Or Die
Posted: 9/1/2008 3:43:01 PM
People have a right to live or die as they choose. Personally I just wish it was legal to help them commit suicide, I could hire myself out. Obviously I would have no problems helping somebody die. It's really an individual choice.

As for the first scenario - I would place the tube. The person already said they wanted everything possible done to extend their life and I won't go against their wishes until their money runs out. I won't pay for it, but as long as they can afford it they'll stay alive.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What Would You Do?
Posted: 9/1/2008 3:18:42 PM
This is old hat OP. If you can't trust the person you are with then leave them. You've wasted a bunch of time here when you should have left a long time ago.

Never debase yourself by spying on someone. If you don't feel you can trust somebody let them know you don't feel you can trust them and that you feel it's best that you no longer see each other. That leaves you both with your dignity. As it currently stands you've stripped both of you of dignity and gained nothing but heartache.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Need answers guys!!
Posted: 9/1/2008 3:03:20 PM
My ex-wife used to work for a sexline for a bit. The pay was crap.

I say just tell him if the subject of "so what do you do to pay the rent" comes up. If he doesn't like it it's his loss.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
men, how do you feel when the woman you love tells you she had many [30-...] f- buddies?
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:49:21 PM
OP, I've never been with a woman that has had as many partners as you mention, but every person I've ever dated has had more partners than I by at least a factor of 3. I was always cool with it. My problem would be if she was tired of sex. I don't care how many partners she's had before, but we have to be on the same page sexually or problems will develop.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
How much do you trust a condom?
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:46:37 PM

If you KNEW that the other person had a serious STD as in Hepatitis, Herpes or HIV that was potentially either life-threatening or could be incurable, would you TRUST a condom to protect you????


No, I would not. I don't trust a condom to protect me anyway, let alone if I know somebody has a disease. Condoms are only 95% effective when they don't slip, break, or have a hole. Don't get me wrong, I firmly believe in wearing a condom, but I don't trust them completely. No sex with people who I know have a transmittable disease.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 61 (view)
 
The Dodge Dart
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:06:45 PM
My brother had a '69 Dart with the push-button transmission. He loved that car. I forget why he got rid of it, but it was easy as heck to maintain.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
whats in the trunk of your car??
Posted: 8/29/2008 5:00:07 PM
spare tire; jack; two blankets; pillow; first aid kit; bloodborne pathogens kit; jumper cables; maps; flares; knife; some other stuff I'm sure I can't recall.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
What do you think about tip jars?
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:57:04 PM
I don't tip at all, so just ignore tip jars. And since I'm not a regular anywhere I don't have to worry about people remembering that I don't tip. I feel that tipping is now overused and needs to be done away with. "Right to work" states use it to bypass minimum wage laws and other states use it to supress wages. Get rid of the tips and pay people what they are worth.

I've never worked in a restaraunt, but I did work as a pump jock and used to get great tips. I loved the tips. But my wages were set at the value of my work, so the tips were just gravy and were never expected.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Good reads post your favorites
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:50:09 PM
"Death Be Not Proud" by John Gunther - the story of his son's fight against a brain tumor. It's been my favorite book since I was 7 years old. The courage shown by John the son is very uplifting.

"Flowers for Algernon" by Daniel Keyes - the story of a mentally retarded man, his rise to genius, and subsequent fall. It's very touching.

"Stranger in a Strange Land" by Robert Heinlein - the story of an Earthman raised Martian coming home. He groks.

Anything by Terry Pratchett. He's a hilarious author and the Disc World books will have you rolling.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Can a company make you use direct deposit?
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:44:37 PM
OP, this is covered under State law, the Feds have not addressed this issue. If there is no State law covering it and no employment agreement (i.e. union) in place they can force you to use direct deposit.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Who do you believe? The guy or the girl?
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:33:25 PM
There is another post in the forums asking about "drama" and this would be a good definition for that post (to be clear the OP is not causing the drama). There's too much going on here that you don't know. Make your life easier and move on. You don't have to believe either one of them, you can just cut them both out of your life.

If you really must know what's going on take the earlier suggestion of getting them on a conference call or in the same room and hashing it out.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Opinions please??
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:15:24 PM
It doesn't really matter if he's flirting or not because you should never fish off the company pier.

That being said it does sound like he's flirting, but that doesn't mean anything. Many people flirt without realizing it and don't really expect anything to come of it.

Remember - he works with you and HR is only a phone call away. Go fishing somewhere else.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Am I obligated to go through with it?
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:12:16 PM
OP, I'd rather hear it at the outset. That way we can both get on with our lives. It also leaves me with a better impression of the person I was meeting because they are honest.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How do I?
Posted: 8/29/2008 4:10:32 PM
OP, to answer your question - you don't. He'll either talk or he won't. The question you really have to answer is how much of this do you want to put up with. My own philosophy is that life is too short to have to work hard at a relationship. I've tried it before and they end anyway - only by working hard at them the relationship was extended beyond its normal life and both of us were wrecks. If it's taking that much work to keep it together just leave. Stay single for a while until you chance upon somebody that gives you happy feelings whenever they cross your mind. It doesn't matter if he's miserable without you, what matters is if you are miserable with him
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 48 (view)
 
It's the cell phone or me !!!
Posted: 8/29/2008 3:57:08 PM
I'm on-call 24/7 and even I ignore my work phone when I'm on a date. I'll register that somebody called so I remember to call them back and that's it. There are very few people who can not safely ignore their phone for an hour or two for a date and I'd know if I was going out with a lawyer, a cop or a firefighter.

My policy is, if they answer the cell while on a date with me, and they aren't one of those rare people with a job they cannot ignore for an hour, I leave. I've never had to do this but it's my policy.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What else would I be doing here?
Posted: 8/27/2008 11:34:14 PM
I know I only have two types of pictures - me in work clothes and me in the gym - and they were both taken on the same day. I know this may be a drag on the overall presentation of my profile. I'm working on that but there are currently no other pictures of me less than a year old. I'm not a "take a picture of me" type. And there have been a lot of changes in that year so I can't in good faith use older pictures.

So, recognizing I should have more varied pictures, is there anything else? I tried to utilize the advice given by many and tell stories to describe me instead of just saying, "I'm witty, charming, humorous, infantile and an egoist." (note the use of self-deprecating with there)

I just did a re-write today, so the material is all fresh and untried. I have no idea if the "new" profile will attract any more attention than the old one did.

Thank you in advance.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Please review my profile( I think I need help)
Posted: 8/27/2008 10:56:47 PM
Here's what I noticed:

Try breaking it up into paragraphs. Demonstrate your humor and give a couple examples of what you mean by "being yourself". Give a specific activity that you like to do.

Try posting another picture or two - one that shows your face better (the one you have up has your face in shadow) and one that shows that "other side" of you.

I hope this helps. Good luck.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Why do men want sexual slaves?
Posted: 8/27/2008 10:37:40 PM
First it's not about self respect. Many women, and men too, with huge egos and self respect to spare are submissives. It's about what turns you on.

Second, I'd have to say you're either going to the wrong places or sending the wrong signals to have people asking you to be a sub and it's not something you're into. I didn't check out your profile and wouldn't know what I would look for anyway, so unfortunately I can't help you there.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 228 (view)
 
Has anyone ever broken the bed?
Posted: 8/27/2008 10:29:19 PM
Yup, broke it and had to buy a new one. Actually, broke it in several places but we kept going until we couldn't sleep on it anymore.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 699 (view)
 
why do men think they can use women for sex?
Posted: 8/24/2008 10:36:20 AM
I wonder about the subject line, and the reverse - why do some women think they can use men for sex? You and he had sex, both of you had sex that night. So you used him for sex just as much as he used you for sex. Don't blame him for that.

Yes it's rude to just drop all contact but that happens often without sex being in the equation. Try calling him or just figure he's not worth it and move on.

As for sex on the first date - there's nothing wrong with that. It's a bad leftover from our Puritan ancestors. Have sex whenever you want. Obviously you felt comfortable enough with this guy to get in bed with him and that's great. You'll probably feel that way about other people too. His lack of response is not to be correlated with sex on the first date. We'll never know why he dropped off the face of the earth so I don't care to speculate.

Live and learn, OP, live and learn.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 51 (view)
 
The paradox of female liberation
Posted: 8/20/2008 7:04:47 PM

If you would like to debate why both modern parents in North America pretty much HAVE to work to feel economically stable, please don't blame "female liberation". Blame consumerism.


Boy I wish I could find the article I read right now, but while my thoughts are fresh I need to type.

There are studies that quite convincingly postulate that our current need for two incomes *is* because of women entering the workforce in vast numbers. With households earning two incomes the market then charges for households earning two incomes. It's not necessarily rampant consumerism (though that is part of it) but the entire thing. Were we to, as a society, drop back to one income you would see prices drop to match - eventually.

As a last somewhat snarky note - though I try to say this without any snarkiness - welcome to a man's world. It's what you wanted: career, family, everything. We find it hard to be great in our careers and great parents and great partners; I'm not surprised women are finding the same.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 524 (view)
 
Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 8/18/2008 10:40:02 PM
I know this post is almost a year old, but wanted to put my two cents into the conversation.

I notice a lot of the responses say since you suggested dinner it should be you picking up the tab - I call bs.

Discuss it beforehand. Let her know you'd rather go dutch.

The problem with the "asker pays" bit is that many men and many women are conditioned to wait for the man to ask, then he winds up paying all the time. I'm a feminist myself and prefer to go dutch to help support the cause of equality. It doesn't matter who asks, we'll each pay our own way.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 80 (view)
 
Girls going COMMANDO
Posted: 8/18/2008 10:25:33 PM
Commando is good. Panties are good. It's all in how she pulls it off.

hehe . . . I'm so punny
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
construction work
Posted: 8/18/2008 10:24:33 PM
Take it from a safety professional - a medical background is a plus. We deal with a lot of crud from workers and being able to deliver first-hand accounts of what happens when they don't do things the right way is a big plus when training and enforcing safety.

For the most part this field doesn't pay nearly as well as nursing, but it does have its rewards. Thankfully you've already dealt with insurance on some level so having to put up with the workers' comp system won't be in issue for you.

If you're a nurse you already have a good general education for the safety field. I would recommend going to a few OSHA classes and maybe picking up an AS in Occupational Safety and Health, or a BS if it won't take too many credits. It's getting tougher to be a generalist in safety but we're still out here.

Good luck and feel free to contact me if you have questions about the field.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Why doesn't he GET IT?
Posted: 8/18/2008 10:18:42 PM

I've been trying so hard to show him what he really needs


Conceited, much? What makes you think you know what he needs better than he does? He's told you what he needs. He's made his position and yours very clear. The best thing you can do for both of you is stop being a drama queen and live your own life while letting him live his.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 97 (view)
 
just wanted to get some opinions on a man hitting a women when....
Posted: 8/13/2008 6:06:30 PM
To preface I agree with every post on this thread I've read so far (haven't read all of them) people should not go about hitting each other and walking away after being struck is a better option than pursuing the fight. That being said . . .

OP asked what makes it right for a girl to hit a guy but not for a guy to hit a girl that the answer is - society. We have over the centuries deterimed that women cannot defend themselves and therefore have every right to hit a man. This is changing and I applaud that change because women can take down men just as fast and as well as men can take down women.

I am a firm believer than whoever strikes first, or chokes in this case, should expect to be struck back as the other person defends themself. OP your friend is lucky the cops weren't called because he would have been the one carried away in cuffs and she would have gotten off. That is unfortunately the way the law currently reads in the USA.

If he hasn't already your friend needs to find his own place to live and completely cut this woman out of his life. Forever.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 75 (view)
 
Affirmative Action Outdated?
Posted: 8/11/2008 5:30:41 PM

How about so it isn't just advantaged white kids who go to good schools?


And Barak Obama is an advantaged white kid that went to Harvard?

Affirmitive action needs to go away. We do quite well without it in the areas of society where there is no affirmitive action and will do quite well in all areas after it leaves.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 102 (view)
 
birthday blow job
Posted: 7/25/2008 1:35:00 AM
Just lay it out straight beforehand . . . okay, bad start there.

The key is making sure he understands what's going on and is cool with it.

Oh, and please clone yourself because my birthday is in a couple of months.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Kissing a new girl for the first time...
Posted: 7/25/2008 1:19:37 AM
He could just be a good little HR monkey and fully indoctrinated to not do anything with a woman he hasn't been given express permission and clearance to do. By all means, lay one on him.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How often do you call/message?
Posted: 7/25/2008 1:10:44 AM
OP the answer is, "when I feel like calling". Any arbitrary time limit smacks of game playing. I'll call when I feel like calling and she'll call when she feels like calling. If either one wants to talk more they can call more. If one wants to talk less they can say, "Hey, stop calling for a while so we'll have something to talk about."

There are plenty of "rules" to the game out there, but for those that don't want to play games call when you feel like it. And if it's been long enough for you to wonder if he's still interested you can always call him. If that feels like too much effort you can move on to the next one.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
How do you think you pamper your mate???
Posted: 7/25/2008 1:04:38 AM
Massage if she needs it.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Do any of you guys actually ENJOY subtle or ambiguous sexual tension on dates?
Posted: 7/25/2008 12:59:28 AM
OP it's not about insecurity it's about cutting through the BS. It's much better when everyone is straight forward. If you don't want to sleep with me today, tell me. If you don't think you'll ever want to sleep with me, tell me that too. But lay it on the line. Having to guess and bob and weave and wonder if games are being played makes dating a hassle it's not supposed to be. If I'm out for a lay that night being upfront can save everyone time. If I'm not out for a lay that nigth being upfront can save everyone some time. It works either way.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Pictures with rats
Posted: 7/23/2008 11:06:41 PM
Love rats. Extra bonus points as long as nothing freaky is going on .
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 48 (view)
 
Approaching women, why not?
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:25:24 PM
OP - I don't approach because when I go out I'm there to do something and that's it. When I go to a bar I'm there to see the band. I go to the store to shop. I go to the library to get a book. I assume everyone else is there for some reason and doesn't want me bothering them any more than I want to be bothered. This does make it rather difficult to meet people.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Intense eye contact
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:45:49 PM
Some people just can't handle it. I went years without looking people in the eye because they always looked away. I asked a couple of times and was told I was "looking through" them. Hasn't happened in a while, but it made me realize that you really have to pay attention to the other person's comfort and adjust.

If eye contact is really important to you you'll have to stick with people who can handle it.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 63 (view)
 
lonely in public??
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:40:56 PM
Sorry OP, I don't know what you're talking about. I've always done these things on my own even when I was in a relationship. I've had people wonder how I can go to the movies, out to dinner, and all these other "couple" things by myself and I wonder why they think it's weird. Just do it and you'll get used to it.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 367 (view)
 
Is being woke up with sexual favors rape or not?
Posted: 7/20/2008 2:32:36 PM
OP, it all depends on the person. I love being waking up to my partner getting started with me and love waking my partner up the same way. I've had partners that weren't into that so it didn't happen. To each their own.
 lastbat13
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 87 (view)
 
Why does a man want a woman to hold his penis while he urinates?
Posted: 7/18/2008 10:39:43 PM
OP, it's a sexual thing. An easy way to get you used to being around while he urinates as the first step toward water play.

At least that's the only thing I can think of. I'm cool if my long-term gal is around while I urinate, but I don't want her holding it.
 
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