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 Author Thread: how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 506 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/30/2010 11:31:39 AM

Guess you missed the part where the women first went on the rant that there was no way the stats were that high?

I'll remind you that the first person to question the stats was a male who said this in post #4:
WOW. this contains more falsehoods, made up statistics and more mis-information than the Bush administration.
Nicely put I may add.

As far as the effect of these tangents seems that others have found the connection some agree some disagree but there has been debate.
If you call flaming folks to the point that all their bitter hatred and unstored baggage has been brought forward.. then yes, I suppose you could call it "debate."

I would love to see the stats and studies that support the opinion of the other side.
Support the "opinion" of the other side? Most of us realize that stats are compiled by people who want to prove that their "opinion" is correct. That, stats can indeed be compiled to correlate with anyone's opinion.. so, digging them up proves nothing and so, no one has bothered.

Problem is even though I have asked the people supporting the other side of the debate to bring there FACTS to the thread not one has!!!
See msg 788.. Although a side-bar argument to the original question.. It's still a stat that disproves that "women get custody waaaaaaay more than men in all jurisdictions and always. Period.

[quote[They interject opinion but have yet to bring the facts or studies that back their opinion!
The tangents as you call them that I have brought up have many experts and stats to support them. So? The stats still do not include REASONS for the divorce they only conclude the women file more. I don't think anyone is disputing the fact that women file more. I'll also remind you that because women file more.. It DOES NOT mean that she was 100% at fault for the marriage breakdown.

There are far more women spewing hatred toward men here than men hating women.
Post after post of women are good men are evil.
According to my opinion of the stats on what gender has shown more hatred to the other it's about at 50/50.. and, I don't believe it's actual hatred being spewed toward either gender..Just some folks venting about their own particular hellish demise of their own marriages and now marriage in general.

So thanks for one more baseless opinion it is just what this thread needed.
Opinions are just opinions. Opinions are neither right nor wrong.. they are just ideas about things that individuals either agree on or disagree on..

Number of single parents: Males: 2.04 million
Females: 9.68 million
Percentage of children under 18 years of age living with both parents (2002): blah, blah, blah
It's now 2010.. May I suggest you read the article I quoted to see why those numbers (stats) you provided are now no longer relevant.

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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 501 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/30/2010 9:35:21 AM

What happened to the normal women? Those ones must all have gotten married off, and are perfectly happy because they actually have a clue.
. The same thing could be said about men, the one's that have a clue are all happily married.. Unfotunately many of them are here posing as single/divorced.. O_0
Of course I realize that that's not gender specific.. Hey, at least they're following MJ's advice and "keeping their marriage together."

. I dunno, maybe I'm just getting jaded at this point..
Oh well, at least your self-aware.. unlike some in this thread.

"Some 2.2 million women in the United States do not have primary custody of their children, according to Working Mother magazine estimated 50 percent of fathers in custody battles get the children."

> Now, that's in custody "battles" I suppose the figure is higher if you take into consideration the court cases where there was no battle and the children were granted to the father without contestment.

You can read the rest of the article here if your so inclined: It speaks of why the instances of father getting custody is rising.

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Msg: 478 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 9:29:48 PM

EDIT to add: another falacy added to this thread 7 of 10 men get custody! hahaha LOL
As you know.. I said the 7 out of 10 was the "correct" answer on a Trivial Persuit game question.. And, as you know, I also said that I hadn't done any research to see if that 7 out of 10 was correct. I have a feeling that if 10 men actually requested to be the main custodial parent then, the answer may have some validity.

Many men are still rather quite bitter it would appear.
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Msg: 473 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 8:24:05 PM

As far as 7 out of ten men getting custody that is NOT right it takes all of two minuets to find the true facts on that!!!

BTW In the poll of divorced people when the women that filed first was asked if they could go back to just before they filed would they do it again 45% said they would not that divorcing there husband was a mistake!!!!!!.....Hummmmmm
You know You post that 7 out of ten men getting custody is NOT right and that it only takes two mins to find the true facts on that.. Yet instead of taking the two mins to back yourself up.. you spew some unrelated crap??????
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Msg: 465 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 1:51:05 PM

Do women listen?????? here. Try to focus, less emotion my help.
I listened fine.. I asked what your point was.. I hardly see that as responding to you emotionally. How condenscending!
You are posting as if you think that the "woman" is the one that gets the money. Yes.. she gets the money to put towards the upkeep of her children. It could be argued that not all money goes towards that upkeep.. but neither did it all go towards their upkeep when they were still a family unit under one roof. The main custodial parent (man or women) has an obligation to contribute their own money as does the non-custodial parent (man or woman). As for feeling a second class citizen.. that's your (the general "your") issue.. there's no reason why, when court ordered and payments are being routinely made that you don't utilize your time with your children constructively and lovingly.

I agree with "Mr. Evil", there is something to be said of a pre nup or not getting married at all.
I agree.. but as you say, love is blind ~ particularily amongst the young who are still getting married in droves.

By the way I answered a Trivial Pursuit game question the other night: "What is the percentage of men winning custody of their children after divorce in the USA."

Answer was 7 out of 10 men are awarded the pleasure of being the main custodialy parent after break up. I've not searched how factual that is yet.
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Msg: 463 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 1:12:26 PM

Example........If a man makes 30% more money that the wife then the split should reflect that he receive 30% more of the assets.
Before women say that is not fair if it was that way, a woman that makes more that the man would get the same consideration.
So: What do we do about the fact that the women makes less.. but she is the one that paid for all the groceries, all the family gifts (including all christmas presents to the children), All the babysitting fees paid out when the parents are at work, her contribution to the mortgage etc. etc?

It's not a perfect world, but I'd say in most households things are usually divided up 50/50 even when the women does earn less.

Lots of men really do need to let go of the mentality that they got burnt or will in future surely get burnt. Not too many people in general come out better off financialy once they've split. It's not just guys coming out the only losers here folks. Even when the wife keeps the home.. she usually has to re-mortgage in order to get the money to buy out the ex.. Leaving her with payments that neither had to make anymore because the home was paid for prior to the split.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 458 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 11:31:05 AM

In fact; even if you do not request child support (as the primary/sole custodian that women tend to get) the provision allows the ex-wife to apply for those benefit "down the road" if she changes her mind. And the ex-husband has to pay those child support payment (retroactively)
What IS your point. They are your children as well as the main custodial parent's children. Do you think that providing for the children should only be the main custodial parents obligation? Do you expect the dessolution of a marital bond should absolve the non-(main) custodial parent of all future obligation to the child(ren)?

As for living together That is why when two people shack up they should be doing their homework to make sure that both have thier ducks in a row BEFORE they move in together should the relationship dissolve. e.g. A new home where both are on title with equal downpayment..not moving into one or the other's existing home. There are many more safeguards. However; and unfortunately today people just move in because they find it's "financially easier on both to share?" *rolls eyes* and the love for each other (or the thinking of love) seems to have very little to do with the decision.

But, MOST assets, net worth GIC, relestate, cars or the main assets - ARE in most cases gained AFTER Marriage. Not before.
Which proves (and I thank you) my point about men whining that the women gets half HIS stuff when a marriage is dissolved when two people had been contributing to the increase in net worth.
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Msg: 454 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/29/2010 8:16:06 AM

(The law states if their house that increases its value over a marriage, it is divided evenly. No, matter who has title or who put more money "down on the house".
You've interpreted that incorrectly. If you read the link you provided properly.. this should have stuck out.

Next, you deduct the value of all the assets you had on the date you married

And when we separated that's exactly what the lawyer calculated and, the difference in our assets that both of us bought into the marriage were deducted and not included in the net family worth that we both contributed during the marriage.

Stocks/bonds/GIC.s/even our vehicles we had before the union were not divided evenly. They were kept separate. He made more.. he had more. The value of the house was divided evenly, but I took less because I didnt' want to argue and give the extra to the lawyers. I was entitled to part of his retirement pension.. I also declined that he earned that, not me.

Anyway, I digress.. You've interpreted the law of division incorrectly.

That old chestnut about the guy losing half his shit.. is laughable at best. Half the stuff you lost you built together with two incomes and you'd not have as much as you had if you didn't have her helping you build it over the years together.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 359 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 10:42:44 PM

The truth is with the numbers being so far off balance women need to find the problem on their end.
There you go assuming that just because the women files more often that somehow it has to be her fault that the marriage is not being held together.

What you seem to be missing is since the number of filings is higher for women that it makes them responsible for a higher number of divorces.
NO, it dosen't . Get off that bone dawg..
It only makes them responsible for filing.. The reasons for the divorces have not been established, nor have you provided stats and nor will you ever be able to prove that because women file more, that the divorce was her fault. The only "blame" you can lay with any credibility is that the women files most. You can spout all the stats you want.. Just quit assuming who and why is to blame.

think that the single most obvious absurdity in this thread is the idea that it follows that "initiate" presumes fault. The rest of the many and myriad absurdities in the thread built on this absurdity are just so much smoke and mirrors trying to hide a post hoc fallacy.

No kidding!
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Msg: 346 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 4:10:11 PM

Why is it when the facts show plainly that women file more to the tune of 70% are there women saying just wait and see it is really the men to blame?
You can only blame women for filing more times then men.. But! As I said before, you can't blame them for the reasons they filed.

Why don't you find some stats on the reasons who cares if women file more times then men.. It doesn't absolve men of any wrong doing in the marriage.
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Msg: 342 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:46:11 PM

Maffers problem was his wife's doing not his.
It doesn't matter, with your logic he shouldn't have filed for divorce.. he should have sucked it up and made himself happy.

You trying to make that leep to link the two is what is ridiculous!!!!
Not when using your reasoning .. it's your reasoning that I find rediculous.

As far as someone accepting their mate cheating that idea is just depraved!!!!
So is staying with a man who belittles you, abuses you, is unloving, is not in the partnership, apathetic, is inherently mean etc.. But you seem to think that one should just suck that up.
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Msg: 95 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:40:10 PM

I have a talent. I make incredibly artless comments in awkward moments. Sometimes it's honesty-blurting. Sometimes it's an attempt to share my odd sense of humor. Sometimes it's fatigue. Sometimes it's a deliberate social experiment for funsies. So when others do the same thing, I forgive them instantly, as one social idiot to another.Because it is possible this woman was just being tactless-if honest. And well, honesty is something I value more than tact, although both have value, of course.

Very nicely put..
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Msg: 340 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:25:26 PM

The men filing and destroying there families are just as much to blame........Only there is not nearly as many of them!!!
So, what's your point? Until we get stats on REASONS why women are filing.. You can't blame the ills on the world on any gender. You blame Zangie for not making herself happy. If you can do that (using illogicality, then the blame can also be put on maffers for not staying in his marriage even though his wife is a cheat.. He could have stayed in the marriage and made himself happy and just accepted her polyamourous life style, or joined her in it for that matter..

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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 338 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/24/2010 3:14:09 PM

So by this you are saying making yourself happy is the utmost concern. Ok lets look at the cost of that "HAPPINESS"
Many studies have shown that divorce has caused the breakdown in our country higher crime rates more homicides and suicides.
The cost of having to have two homes put people below the poverty line.........I could go on and on. It is safe to say divorce and the breakdown of the family unit has had a mojor effect on all theses and many other problems in the US and around the world. So wouldn't it be better to try a little harder to make yourself happy without causing so many problems for the rest of us?
So, do you blame maffers (msg 550) for all the ills of the US and around the world too? Or, is just a female agenda that you're on?
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Msg: 43 (view)
Am I trying to keep our families separate?
Posted: 4/23/2010 9:13:34 PM

Thanks, I've taken a beating over my forum posts. It's good to hear a kind word. She doesn't have boundaries. Even when we discuss something and sets a boundary she always crosses it the next time we argue. I'm not sure what her expectations are but they are very high. VERY HIGH!
Frankly, neither of you have any boundaries and between the two of you, you're still half a brain short of a whole.

In future; please re-considering leaving a 13 year old girl and a 14 year old boy alone in the house together while you go out of town. Their hormones are starting to rage at that age and you're just looking for trouble. They aren't kin. That's what friends, family and especially Gramma's are for.. To help kid-sit when the parents aren't able to supervise.

As for your newest "dilema"
Who cares what she says.. Just ask her what she'd prefer if its such a small issue and let it go.. Why the hell do you sweat all this small stuff and think nothing of leaving young teenagers unsupervised.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
Thumbnails in inbox
Posted: 4/23/2010 3:54:15 PM

Kudos. I like the idea. I think its great. Brilliant Marcus..I say. I like it.

and for the people that are complaining about scrooooooooo lllll ing...
Maybe you need to go lift some weights. Whats the big freaken deal ?
Jaysus it's not like your shoveling 4 feet of snow, your scrolling for Chris sakes.

Gimme a break.
Says the lady with NO profile pic. O_o

Personally, I simply don't like the look of it.. I don't think it changes a thing as far as read/deletes or anything else. If someone is going by looks alone.. the photo just makes it quicker to delete.. it doesn't change much else. JMO
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 171 (view)
What do girls mean when they say their last relationship was all about sex?
Posted: 4/22/2010 8:51:31 PM
I'm beginning to think the men in this thread are just commenting in order to get a rise out of the women.

I seariously can't believe that what they're saying is what they actually practice and think and be negative about and are still able to enjoy sex with a gender that they absolutely seem to despise, totally misunderstand and believe is only in it in order to spend their money.

Bend over boyzzzzz.. at least you'll be doing it with someone who thinks just like you, doesn't mind buying you a round and who, I'd imagine won't care whether you get along just as long as you get it on.
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Msg: 88 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/22/2010 6:22:59 PM

But, the fact of the matter is you aren't as sharp as you might think (by you, I don't mean YOU womaninprogress, I mean you as in the reader of this post). You are just meeting this person for the first time, you have NO IDEA what's going on. Maybe she/he is being somewhat aloof because they just had the worst day of their life. Maybe they just got some terrible news that they're distracted on. Maybe they're shy. Maybe you've really made a great impression and they're afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing to look foolish. YOU DON'T KNOW. YOU CAN'T KNOW.
All those "you don't knows" yet half (???) the men who frequent these forums would expect there was something wrong with our sex drive if we didn't have sex with you when WE DON'T KNOW.

Half (??) the men would say that there's no sense going out with a girl again if she doesn't "feel" it right away when possible that we just DON'T KNOW.

That is why I always say you HAVE to give people a chance... sorry you're not Dr. Phil, you're not a genius, you can't read minds.... you could potentially be throwing a great relationship because you think you know it all when you don't know shit - you just think you do.
Women have been trying to tell men for pages in the
"What does she mean when she says all her relationships were just sexual" and the girl wants to wait because just because SHE DOESN'T KNOW yet.

If the coffee date goes ok and she / he is willing to see you again, do it. What do you have to lose? Maybe they'll loosen up a little next time. The very fact that are willing to see you again means they are interested.
Same thing when a woman wants to wait to have sex. Yet.. it's perceive in a way that YOU DON'T KNOW.

Thanks for playing.
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Msg: 86 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/22/2010 3:12:03 PM

at least I did until the OP added her "women dating losers on POF" statement. That changed my perception a little.
It changed mine at first read as well.. and then I thought well. if she's read some of the misandry and misogyny that's spewed in some of the "battle of the sexes" threads.. and she actually took it to heart.. Oye!!

.. and .. for what it's worth: I Always enjoy your intelligent, posted thoughts ..

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Msg: 19 (view)
Help.. I have the VOODOO DOLL gift on my profile
Posted: 4/22/2010 8:00:52 AM

what's with all the liquid underneath it???? Or did it try that diet crap that makes you poop yourself???
The voodoo doll is actually an ad testimonial.. Just look how much belly fat it's lost.
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Msg: 82 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/22/2010 7:49:41 AM

P.S. - Regarding being "alone on a Saturday night" - who cares? Must we all be on dates on Saturday night - will the date police knock on the door and cite us for not participating?
I'd assume that if one was on a dating site, that their goal would be to connect with someone through the site and hopefully also in real life. Whether one "cares" or not is up to the individual.
No one "must" do anything and that was never implied.
"Dating police?" Sounds rather paranoid ?? Defensive??

A Saturday night without a date doesn't imply "alone". That's projection.
You took the "wink" out of the post. Perhaps you feel personally slighted, I don't know? All I was implying to Op was not to cut off his nose to spite his face just because he and a bunch forum strangers were speculating negatively on a woman's character due to one line and her dating MO.. Which many themselves have admited to actually following but sans spouting the words out loud to whom you meet.

In otherwords it's okay to think that way, but don't be forthcoming about it. Frankly, I found her straight forward honesty rather refreshing. I find OP to be confident enough to not throw away a potential opportunity.. particularily when all it will cost him is 30 mins of his time and perhaps the cost of a cup of coffee or a drink.

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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
woman not getting child-support. What can she do?? Any free advocacy groups around?
Posted: 4/21/2010 6:24:29 PM
Are they not legally separated or outright divorced yet?

This would have all been taken care of during the divorce proceedings and child support would have been calculated and awarded at that time. If he didn't pay, then the government would have garnisheed his wages.

What's missing from the story?

Candid has given you the best advice you're likely to get.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/21/2010 12:09:52 PM

Well I do have confidence, but never have went on a date with the specific goal of trying to Impress a woman in 30 mins or less.
don't try to impress her, just be your fine self.. If she don't like it than so be it.
Too much pressure for very little gain.
Don't put pressure on yourself, just go out with the idea of having fun.. no expectations equals no disappointments.
The way I see, if I get to the point ot actually meeting them, then there's soemthing they like about me and something I like about them.
Right-on.. and good for you. I hope you hit it off.. You should be impressed with the simple fact that if things don't work out.. you can let each other know right away and we won't have another thread about "I don't understand.. it all went so amazingly and he/she never called again"

Let us know how it goes and if she really is a "c" or, just a girl who knows how to work her dating.

iMO.. The pessimism on these boards is whack.
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Msg: 17 (view)
Get her off my back!
Posted: 4/21/2010 9:09:11 AM

Seems to me one of the two parents in this case needs to get it together for the child's sake!!!
NO.. What it seems like is that BOTH of them need to get it together for the childs sake.

In fact.. OP, send me their contact information and I'll personally call child services to make that happen.

Alcoholics and physical abusers don't need to have any children to fvck up for the rest of their lives.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/21/2010 9:01:39 AM
I'm thinking that most confident people who have connected over email and phone would laugh at the challenge and meet the woman. If for nothing else to figure out if she's any of the things y'all have called her and then if she is any of those things, simply not proceed to the first and actual date.

Sadly.. is just easier to post in here about how you perceive her to be conceited/stuckup/princess/****y/whacked/bitter etc.

and remain alone on a Saturday night.
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Msg: 16 (view)
Man is not contacting as often...what gives?
Posted: 4/20/2010 10:52:21 PM
Gee.. for someone who doesn't like pursuing you're certainly doing a lot of it. You're placing so much energy into this man already you've "stooped" to sending first contact.

You're freaking me out just by reading your posts.. You sound almost frantic.

May I suggest you step back, breathe and relax your mind.. so that it can process the fact that IT'S ONLY BEEN ONE DATE!
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Msg: 38 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 1:24:29 PM

Personally I hate "guidelines" and "rules" dating and some damn gameshow. Personally, tell her to go play with someone else.
Oh.. I think he'll go.

She's become a challenge now.. most men and women (who'll actually admit it) like being challenged for some inherent reason.

Op obviously liked her for some reason to even contact her .. she, liked the initial contact as well or I'm sure it wouldn't have progressed to 2 hour phone conversations..

He's found himself a gal with an edge.. funny how when the traditional gender roles are switched it has everyone in a tizzy.

OP: If you do go on this meet.. please let us know if you make "the grade." lol
or.. if she failed your's for that matter.

bring a kitchen timer. set it on the table.
"Hang on. Let me just get this thing started..."
what a hoot.. I love this.. and I'd lmao.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:43:08 AM
this is how I see it: She's been doing this online dating thing for a while and she knows what she likes and what she doesn't.. She's now become quite comfortable with letting men know that she'll know within the first 30 minutes if she'd want to spend more time with them. I also see her as not wanting you to actually TRY to impress her, but by you simply being you (yourself) she'll know quite early into the meet.

I don't see her as the "princess" type. I see her as knowing herself and letting you know that she has no intention of leading you on in anyway if she's not feeling it. That's a good thing and I think more online daters should be as upfront.

Now, if she means by "impress" her that you do so with fancy restaurants, expensive wine and an astronomical food bill at the end of the evening.. then yes, she's a "princess."

IMO, of course..
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Msg: 6 (view)
You have 30 Minutes To Impress Me!
Posted: 4/20/2010 11:21:42 AM

The way i see it, is that she going into looking for you to fail and the only way to keep that from happening is to Impress her.
did she actually use the words "impress her.?" Or , did she say it in other words and you've just interpretted it as that way?
I know within 30 mins. if I'd like to see someone again.. Afterall that's what the coffee meet was invented for in my opinion .. But, I give myself much longer than that to be "impressed."

It's all silly to me.
then you have your answer. Tell her after careful thought you realize that you don't have much in common with her and wish her well..
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Msg: 6 (view)
When one makes a loan, who has ownership of the loan: the lender or the borrower? How and why?
Posted: 4/19/2010 9:02:44 AM
In order for a contact to be of any worth or, legally binding for that matter.. both parties have to receive something. The borrow receives the money to purchase what they will. The lender gets interest and, usually when/if the borrow defaults on the terms of the contract, also gets whatever the borrow er bought with the lended money.

I'd say that both are owners of the contract but the one doing the lending has the most leverage.. Particularily when the borrower is in default.
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Msg: 15 (view)
call him, or not?!
Posted: 4/19/2010 8:38:16 AM

Holding out to have sex with a woman you like doesn't make you a good guy. I don't know where you got that from. Good guys have sex when they are ready (just like women). Most of the time this is a lot quicker than the woman would like. If the woman continues to hold out - she loses him. That's just the way the cookie crumbles.

I doubt that the OP comes across the type of men she mentioned this guy was, too often. If she wants to have a relationship with a good bloke - she needs to reduce her waiting time.
You're forgetting a very important fact. This guy said his mother is looking for him to be with a Greek girl. If he was such a "good guy" he wouldn't be trying to get into the pants of someone so culturely different than a greek could ever be. Why should Op be just another place holder while he earnestly searches for the one he wants to marry? She, I'm sure would like a man who actually loves her and could possibly have a future with.

I suspect he's here to boink as many women as he can before he finds a Greek to marry. Hopefully his "dating" habits won't form his entire lifestyle and he continues to boink others while his Greek wife waits at home patiently for her love to come home.

He reminds me of the young Jewish lad that contacted me when I was dating. He was kind enough to tell (warn) me up front that he was just her wasting time and having fun with all types of women before he married his "Jewish Princess." and would I be interested in helping him have said fun..

How Sweet of this young thang to consider me a worthy filler

OP: Don't contact him again.. He's already given a very kind and unimbiguous, direct answer.. He definately closed the door. Trust that you're better off for it.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 51 (view)
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/18/2010 12:55:08 PM

Infidelity is a personal choice influenced by Culture/Social class/Upbringing.
which, with the increasing stats suggests that MORE are choosing to be polyamourous than they are monogamous (????)
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
I offered to get ready...
Posted: 4/17/2010 5:51:39 PM

right now he's telling his buddies about the crazy psycho b1tch he met online that for no reason at all, she told him to F' off and lose her number...
Best he found out now rather than later then I suppose.

But then again.. OP I don't know of any woman that would meet a guy for the first time without getting all jazzed up.. I wouldn't have sent him a "lose my number" email over it though, I'd just have rescheduled.. If he was decent he'd have agreed, if he pushed I'd then send him the lose my number email because obviously he'd be thinking more about he than me and my comfort.

Bottom line.. you assumed the worse of him because he doesn't think like You. I wonder why you just didn't reschedule to a more mutually convenient time. I wonder why he wanted to meet you NOW.? Guess we all (including you) will never know.

I'd try working out a resonable compromise next time.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 220 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/17/2010 4:30:28 PM

Wait I have the answer! How come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time? Because their selfish, and only think about themselves
*wonders why someone would marry someone who is selfish and only thinks of themself. *
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
The Catholic Church and sexual abuse
Posted: 4/16/2010 1:34:14 PM
When I was about 18, I read a book called "The Awful Disclosures of Maria Monk." (banned from the Catholic appropriate reading list). It was about a Nun who in the 18th century belonged to a convent in Quebec and the horrors and abuses that said nuns went through at the hands of the priests at the monastary next door, and from the Mother Superior herself.

I didn't believe the book at the time now, with all these sexual abuses coming to light, I wonder if her biography had (at least) some truth to it.

What, if anything will be done to stop this??? Why are they above the law?
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/16/2010 12:24:04 PM

Your message (Msg 16) stated:
"Interestingly enough: USA has the highest rate of infidelity per capita .. perhaps its due to that sense of entitlement that's bantered around as a reason. "

Uh...that's divorce rate per capita not infidelity per capita..Do you have a better stat to back up your statement?
My bad.. *apologizes* however; here are some other stats that show just how much infidelity is occurring...

>Percentage of marriages that end in divorce in America: 53%

>Percentage of marriages where one or both spouses admit to infidelity, either physical or emotional: 41%

>Percentage of men who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 74%

>Percentage of women who say they would have an affair if they knew they would never get caught: 68%

Makes one wonder if monogamous marriage is on it's way out?
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 191 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/16/2010 11:28:46 AM

Treselle, I would disagree that "men need women more than women need men....."

I agree. She just forgot two words:" for sex".
Otherwise, it's pretty much even.

Definately gone are the days where either gender totally relied on the other to do something for each other that the other couldn't/wouldn't do.

"This is the end
Beautiful friend
This is the end
My only friend, the end
Of our elaborate plans, the end
Of everything that stands, the end
No safety or surprise, the end
I'll never look into your eyes...again
Can you picture what will be
So limitless and free
Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand
In a...desperate land"..

.. Jim Morrison.. The End ..
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
Culture/Social class/Upbringing is a contributable factor to infidelity
Posted: 4/15/2010 3:43:57 PM

cheating, is very common, i read the stats, 47% of north american women cheat, 37% of men cheat,
i do not agree that there is any difference between rich or poor, or race, and culture
its just the facts of life in the 21st century
Perhaps you could point us to where you garnered those stats ..

Interestingly enough: USA has the highest rate of infidelity per capita .. perhaps its due to that sense of entitlement that's bantered around as a reason.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
Help.. I have the VOODOO DOLL gift on my profile
Posted: 4/14/2010 3:44:18 PM
It's okay, OP.. I've heard that the vitural Cupcake, counters the negative connotations of the virtual Voodoo Doll.. Alls good.

P.S. Your "Mom's" a hoot.

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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
What's the Deal?
Posted: 4/13/2010 8:37:51 AM
I just don't understand why people come her to ask what we GUESS someone might be thinking/doing/implying.. If he's your friend then why, as soon as he jumped/pulled back/flinched didn't you just say..what's wrong, did I give you a shock or something? Hopefully.. he'd answer you honestly.. or, at the very least come up with an answer that would shut off your brain full of run-away-thoughts.

Bottom line is.. You need to ask HIM why.. Then, figure out why just because you let him touch you that you're uncomfortable with why he doesn't want you touching him.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 176 (view)
Met a nice guy, he has a girfriend. Is it wrong to ask him out for coffee?
Posted: 4/12/2010 7:18:25 PM
This is what was said

no it is not wrong to ask him out.

he ONLY has a gf. If he was seriously into her then they would be married...
which is implied that anyone who is not married is fair game in your eyes. Elaborating afterwards and then accusing the masses of having poor reading comprehension???
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
Frustrated, Do I, Don't I?...Opinions Appreciated.
Posted: 4/12/2010 7:06:21 PM

see where it goes. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. :)
Very true.. however; may I suggest to you OP, that you make very sure of what you actually and really want with this man before you do any venturing.. Depending on what you want should reflect on how you venture.. How you venture will ultimately determine what and, how much you'll gain..

Good luck!
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
Frustrated, Do I, Don't I?...Opinions Appreciated.
Posted: 4/12/2010 8:20:32 AM

Thank you to the two other posters for their input too. I'm not looking for love and I have no illusions that this is anything close, but I am also wary of having a wham bam, thank you young man experience with someone who is connected to my circle of friends...atleast until after the festival ...or during
So what's the point of your thread? If you want to be fb's then wait until after the "festival." If you want to be his g/f then you're sights are on the wrong man. If he wanted you in the traditional sense he would do it with respect and via getting to know you by courting you and it wouldn't matter if it was in the midst of this festival you speak of.

The issue I have with him is there's a teasing kind of banter going on from him and my sister which makes it hard for anything of any substance to be said while they're around.

He has your number and he knows where you live.. if he was keen he'd be calling you so you can say things "with substance" without the others there to tease you about it.

Personally and by your account of things, it looks like you're thoughts of him, outweight his thoughts of you but if all you're looking for is a shag.. that makes little difference.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 147 (view)
What do girls mean when they say their last relationship was all about sex?
Posted: 4/12/2010 7:46:25 AM

well, if I was trying to get with a girl and she told me her last relationship was all about sex...

that would really put a damper on things in my mind.
its sorta the equivalent of a girl trying to get with a guy and the guy telling her

"damn- my last relationship, all that girl wanted to do was get married to me and settle down"

That's why it's a good idea to keep the dynamics of one's last relationship to oneself.. People assume things and the things people assume are usually negative and unproductive to the success of the new and (hopefully) budding relationship. Negative assuptions and paranoid thoughts spoil things regardless of the dynamics of any type of relationship... It's akin to "cutting off your nose to spite your face"..
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
The Catholic Church and sexual abuse
Posted: 4/11/2010 5:36:00 PM

so this whole post is pretty much just an attack on Catholicism instead of on abusers, where it should be. I get it, the Church covered up some instances of abuse so you hate the Church. One wonders why the CATHOLIC church is so important to you that you have to single it out. Google it--lots of protestant pastors have abused their "authority" and impregnated teens girls/married women and abused kids or both genders.
Since my opinion is the dogma of the Catholic Religion that has perpetuated the problem then it is logical to blame the athority figures of the religion ~ not the religion in itself for the problem and the enabling.

Would you have us condemn some other un-involved sect for what the Catholic hiearchy continues to hide (pedofillia and sexual abuse) instead of utilizing the judicial system and have these men convicted and tried for their crimes? Those high-end clergy who swept the abuse under the rug should also be charged as being accomplises to the crime.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
So after 6 months of dating, a trip to Cuba is this guy a write off??
Posted: 4/11/2010 5:25:16 PM
It's always fun to feed the trolls

So anyways he now knows that was me.

How'd that go over?

So after 6 months of dating, a trip to Cuba is this guy a write off??
Depends on whether you still expect to be:
dated exclusively

.. and of course how this went over:
So anyways he now knows that was me
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
The Catholic Church and sexual abuse
Posted: 4/11/2010 3:42:25 PM
It's an epidemic all over.. Google Mt Cashel Newfounland Canada and it will tell you about the Bishop charged for sexual abuse of young boys in his care.

Blame is on a religion that dictates that men (and women) should give up sex and the urge to pair bond with a life-mate of the opposite sex in the name of God.. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't know of any quote or dictum from God that has dictated forced abstinance or forced singlehood.

It's disgusting what's happening and, If I had a son or daughter young enough to not know when a good swift kick in the nutz is warranted.. there is a snowballs chance in hell that I'd leave them in the care or alone with any priest or nun for that matter.

Shame and disgust on the catholic church, it's politics and the enabling by it's secrecy .. A blatant disrespect of the innocent and the very laws of the land.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 144 (view)
What do girls mean when they say their last relationship was all about sex?
Posted: 4/11/2010 2:17:38 PM

Clearly she's already devalued the OP and is NOT thinking of him in that way.
It's more clear that she wants someone to at least take time to be with her to do things that couples in relationships (other than sex only one's) do with each other.

It's quite clear that she likes the OP for more than his dangly bits and would like to know him inside and out, share activities with and.. have great sex with him once they've connected in more ways than their gennys..

Yes.. it's quite clear.
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Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
Wife told me she just does not love me any more.
Posted: 4/10/2010 9:21:38 PM
Art: If you Google "divorce support groups in Texas" you'll find some groups that may be near you. I think if you joined something like that, you'd be among some kindred spirits that might help you with your venting and be empathetic and helpful in getting you through the roughest spots.

I know you're still hurting, it's evident in your post.. I think starting with a support group might help you to be more successful here once you're ready and feeling more joyful and open to meeting a new love interest.

Good luck and best wishes.
 wishes granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 128 (view)
how come women initiate the breakup 80% of the time?
Posted: 4/10/2010 3:16:20 PM
Women may have more options to be able to get a "cab" anytime we want.. Unfortunately we have to by-pass flagging down 99% of them because the 'cabbie' is just not who we want driving us.

Oh what a simple and bountiful life it would be if woman actually connected with every cab that swung by and, that they were'nt judged by the many other cabbies on how many cabs they've already taken. .. lol ..

IMO: Women file 80% of the time because more men than women are too apathetic to bother.
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