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 Author Thread: Would you intentionally date a woman with young children?
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
Would you intentionally date a woman with young children?
Posted: 1/27/2013 10:16:03 AM
Sure, why not? So long as she isn't in the business of floating back to EX's or whatnot, then we are free and clear.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 160 (view)
Do people really have time to date??
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:49:08 AM
I have time.... as I suspect most people who are older have time.
What I don't have time for is BS and people who like to waste time.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
Living the Thirties Dream??
Posted: 1/27/2013 1:35:56 AM
You know, OP... you are the wild Auntie! :)
Embrace that.
I am the traveling, wandering uncle. For some reason, we are a hit with our relatives and family's kids. Because we live interesting lives... we go places... experience more things than the typical suburbanite.

If despite all your accomplishments, you still cannot break past the BS that society has programmed you with, then that's sad! Just let go of all those crass expectations. Be free.
So what if life did not turn out the way you were programmed by society to expect? To hell with them!

Embrace the adventure. :)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 87 (view)
31 YO... Am I Doomed By My non experience?
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:24:03 PM
You're not doomed at all.
You are a young man at 31. Most people would murder to be that age again. :)
Just enjoy yourself, man. Meet women, but don't feel pressured to get a girlfriend.

There isn't any expiration date on anyone.
You're a good looking chap and it seems like you got a lot to offer the right one.
Have fun with it and just enjoy life.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 58 (view)
Should men cover up their gray hair?
Posted: 1/26/2013 8:20:44 PM
Dying hair is just one of the many things people do to "play the game".
I've been going the opposite way. I have removed myself from such petty concerns.
They may be the difference between getting a job and not being hired in some circles, but since I never bothered with the rat race and all that entails, it doesn't bother me.
I began this life knowing I won't be like everyone else.
I am happy with my choices.
Those who will judge me for my appearance are people I don't want be with, anyway.

Let the gray come. :)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 346 (view)
What makes a woman over 40 sexy?
Posted: 1/26/2013 7:31:36 PM
If she is young at heart and still excited about living life.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
how times have changed!
Posted: 1/26/2013 7:30:00 PM
You are a good looking chap and have a good profile to boot.
It is good that you are still trying on here. I just got on to tweak my profile but I am not really that active anymore.
Hope you find the one for you, dude!
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
men who can fix anything(your thoughts)
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:16:00 PM
I could not start a weed whacker... my then girlfriend just about died with laughter watching me ending up wheezing after a hundred pulls on the dang motor crank... (this infernal thing was lent to us by a friend and there was no instruction manual...) So I guess I made her laugh at least... :D
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
How come I sometimes hear from guys with kids when I state that I don't want to date fathers
Posted: 7/7/2012 9:11:16 PM
Perhaps they feel like you may be a good match regardless of the presence of kids in their lives. Not that you'd be a good mother to them, but maybe they see you as someone whom they want to spend time with as a person first... Perhaps they are just hoping that their package deal may not appear so bad if you enjoy their company? :)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
SlutWalk Brisbane 2012
Posted: 7/1/2012 9:12:35 PM
agh... :) And they hold this event after I get back to the States?????:)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
do we know what we want?
Posted: 7/1/2012 9:07:56 PM
That's a good list... :)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
Men happy to take money off women ?
Posted: 7/1/2012 9:06:14 PM
I always go dutch so there is perfect understanding. :)
I sometimes offer to pay for the entire bill... but that's when we're already an "item" so to speak. :)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
32 yr old male. Been on site over a year with no luck. Need a little help.
Posted: 7/1/2012 9:01:03 PM
you seem like a decent chap overall.
Seen your profile. Maybe have a picture of you smiling when you hold up that good looking lobster?
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 69 (view)
Do weddings make you jealous?
Posted: 6/28/2012 8:45:14 PM
I'm happy for the couple... and sad when it doesn't work out... and even sadder if kids are involved...
Weddings are like fairy tale endings... they are just the beginning, actually.
And most people fumble the "maintenance" of the relationship all the time.
And just like Patriotism, Christmas and Thanksgiving, Weddings are too commercialized for their own good in our country.

Gimme a small chapel and a few witnesses and lots of honesty and hard work.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
Avaiable man over 30
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:54:27 PM
There's plenty of guys like that, OP...

Case in point, this post. I saw the profiles of the dudes on here, and I can say they sound like interesting guys to be with. Of course, you may disagree, and that's your prerogative.

That's life... sometimes one or more of your wish list may not be fulfilled...

And the ones you are attracted to?
As mentioned before... also have their own lists... and you fail in one or more of them in their book as well...

ah... it is a conundrum...

So good luck out there to everyone. :)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 252 (view)
Sex and Dating late 30s and early 40s
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:42:06 PM
... And every guy who goes on here and agrees with the OP .... says he's not like that... he too wants a relationship... etc... is probably not your type, correct? :)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 97 (view)
attractiveness difference
Posted: 6/21/2012 3:39:31 PM
Heck, I'll date you, OP. :)
Problem is, I am also delusional about my appearance so you may not want to date me. ....
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
No closure and it hurts
Posted: 6/14/2012 9:27:35 PM
I hear you and understand your pain.
My ex just stopped communicating last year and I knew something was up.

she never really explained why or what caused her to shift like that.
So I never got my closure.
I just wrote her a long letter breaking it up after many unreturned emails. I guess I just took the hint that something was not right anymore. to this day, all I have is theories as to WHY, but never really a word from her. She just shipped my things last month --a year after I was forced to call it off because she wasn't responding.

We just move on and forget, really.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
Dont give up hope.
Posted: 6/14/2012 9:04:43 PM
Indeed, OP! Screw them! It's their loss.

In the meantime, you can be happy with yourself.
Happiness doesn't have to come from external stimuli.

If you can generate your own joy, then you need nobody to make you happy if you can make yourself happy.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
So, what's the point of life exactly?
Posted: 6/14/2012 9:03:01 PM
OP, you are not alone.
I see myself in you when I was your age.
I too was a know it all. When I was a kid, I could not wait to grow up because all the kids around me were stupid. But boy, did I find out the adults were no different. They were just taller, but they had the same issues they had when they were 12. In some ways, adults are even dumber than kids. See, this is the past me talking now.

I guess I still think I am that person, but more sedate nowadays.

Know that the stupidity of man comes in cycles. We are at another downward turn just now. We are ripening slowly towards the next cataclysm that will propel the human species forward. I'm just sorry I may not live long enough to see humanity finally mature. But our species will. It will just take the deaths of many stupid generations to do so. But the beginnings of true hope are really coming out now.
Just look at these new kids who raise money for Africa at the age of 10. Nobody did that 30 years ago. Or these teenagers who become online millionaires and these youngsters who make their own robots at age 13. Life is changing but slowly.

Anyway, I hear ya, mate.

The point of life I learned is not to take it too seriously.
Just enjoy your turn at this existence.
As Richard Dawkins so eloquently put it: by the virtue of you being born, you already have won a tough race --you are one in a million literally.

So enjoy your life and experience the wonders of this world... Go see animals that won't be around for much longer. Go see forests that won't be here for the future. you are lucky today, mate. Go and just have fun with it...
I already am.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
Today is not a good day...
Posted: 6/14/2012 8:43:43 PM
Just be happy you are alive at all...
and that you are
1) not pooping into a bag from a hose attached to your side
2) paralyzed, blind, etc.
3) struck with a rare disease nobody heard of and there is no cure.

When all the chips are down, I remind myself I have a whole body and that life isn't that bad after all...
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 54 (view)
Too Fussy maybe?
Posted: 6/14/2012 8:08:26 PM
In my experience living my short human life, I learned that you don't "find" love.
It's already inside you. All you got to do is release it.

Personally, I don't give a flip if someone doesn't find me.
I give my love away to whoever crosses my path. Whether it be the grocery clerk or the pharmacy lady... little bits of love for people we meet daily... I find it's enough for me to be happy about without finding that "one true love" .
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 93 (view)
Stuck on younger women.
Posted: 6/14/2012 8:02:45 PM
But seriously, don't worry about it, man. Enjoy your luck and your choices in life. If that means younger women, hey, just have fun with it and go for them. You are worth it.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
Relationship Issues
Posted: 6/14/2012 7:56:13 PM
Yeah, you don't have to follow society's rules and labels if you don't want to.
Just be sure your partner is on the same page as well.

Society's rules are just a sort of loose guideline, anyway.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
Really don't understand guys..
Posted: 6/14/2012 7:49:19 PM
YOU chose them...
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
What is a deal breaker?
Posted: 6/14/2012 7:45:34 PM
Plenty. And the longer I live, the more of them pop up. At some point, maybe in most people, they begin to put them aside as they become more and more desperate to find that someone?
Not me, though.

I am not like that. I don't give a fig if I end up with no one.
That just means I can do what I want, when I want... and take off without anyone's permission.

It'll take someone really extraordinary to tame this wild beast.

A lot of you really fear being alone. I have transcended that fear and now no longer am captive to it.
I am free. Truly free.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
How long does it take to get over your 'soulmate'?
Posted: 5/20/2012 7:17:21 AM
The heartache won't last forever.
Meantime, don't beat yourself up over it.
Keep busy, stay cheerful. Don't let the bitterness and pain take over your life.
It's part of you now, but it's also part of the past.
You are young still. There will be others and one day you will look back and be thankful you've gone through all that so that you can meet the present love of your life today.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
What is wrong with me?
Posted: 5/20/2012 7:11:45 AM
You are a good looking girl.
But I think the write up and the fact that you are troubled by your depressive feelings is what is getting you in trouble.
Plus, teenagers are fickle anyway. It's just the age you are in.
You also need to smile more.
I had an EX who was a pretty woman, but she really believed she wasn't and therefore acted like she wasn't. The result of that is that she barely smiled or held a cheerful disposition.

It's not the appearance of your dates. People gravitate towards other people because they are fun to be with, etc.

You need to stop dating and fix yourself first.
Be happier and actually feel the happiness.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
The over analytical 30 something?
Posted: 5/20/2012 6:37:27 AM
It still depends.
It's good to be analytical about people.
It saves you time, money and effort. But once that lucky gal gets through the usual filters, I say yea, it is a good thing to get out of one's comfort zone.

Relationship are about compromising. It just has to be the right person..
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
I am paying for it now....
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:35:28 AM
You need to offer more details. Is it only this one time?
Were there other times?
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 139 (view)
Your partner gets a lap dance from a stripper, is that cheating?
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:30:36 AM
For some reason, I think if women got a lapdance, I would not mind even if she was my girlfriend.

But the reverse? Ladies, don't buy it. Beware.
A lapdance for a man is a slippery slope to something else.

3ffervescent, I won't be surprised if you eventually break up with your SO because of cheating or other issues relating to his liking to see other women.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
The no contact rule??? Men, would this work on you??? women Has this worked for you???
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:27:05 AM
No contact with any of my EX's. This last one, it's mostly discussing about her mailing me my things back.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
What do you think about men wearing height increasing insoles?
Posted: 5/20/2012 5:17:09 AM
Seems fake.
He'd still take them off at the end of the day unless they're implanted.

Athlete Aimee Mullins on the other hand, pulls off a dramatic height change at will. (way taller than just wearing heels)
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 140 (view)
Men 40+ and Childless
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:44:20 AM
There's a million reasons to this.
But the one thing you should never do is assume without any information at all and make snap judgements about any guy.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:40:36 AM

club footed
cleft palleted
burned in a fire
run over
living in Uganda during Idi Amin's reign
being in the Holocaust
in the WTC when it got hit
in flight 93 (?)
drowning in ice water
lostt in the ocean
born a heroin addict
having AIDS
crack addict

count your blessings

You can add to that:
Cancer at 8 years of age
Being a Rwandan in 1996
Russian gulag prisoner
Pooping in a bag attached to your navel

All you have to do is buy a medical encyclopedia for the various skin diseases and deformations of the body and count yourself lucky!

If you have a roof over your head, money in your pocket and 3 meals a day, you are set.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 193 (view)
Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:31:44 AM
Sometimes it doesn't even need to be single people who are a threat.

I saw a pair of acquaintances once. The woman sidled closer to her man and kept grabbing for his hand almost clinging to him. I think she just got jealous of the other couples who seemed in love all around them at the time.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 192 (view)
Why is it when you're single, every woman around thinks you want HER man??
Posted: 5/20/2012 4:28:50 AM
Jealousy and insecurity, I reckon.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 63 (view)
gf broke up with me, still wants to have sex
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:43:38 AM
if you're as wise as some people seem to think, you will realize that true love will not throw you aside and just treat you as an unpaid whore.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 62 (view)
gf broke up with me, still wants to have sex
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:40:34 AM
shouldn't you be rejoicing?
men PAY for what she is offering for free you know... boo hoo you.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 62 (view)
I hope all men don't believe this!
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:21:39 AM
You're still rehashing old arguments with your EX?
Are you a masochist or something? This is what I don't understand about some people.

He's your EX for a reason. Why still keep talking about your past disagreements and wasting time?
You could have be en talking to a new guy instead.

What a waste.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
Stages in Online Dating membership --what stage are you at?
Posted: 5/13/2012 8:17:54 AM
Stages in Online Dating membership --what stage are you at?

I noticed that by reading a lot of forums, you meet a lot of people who are in what I am beginning to notice are the stages of Online Dating membership.
To newcomers, well, here are some of the stages you may experience as you progress on online dating. Everyone goes through some or all of them (sometimes not in the order presented below even) so we are all in this together.

Stage 1: Frustration (usually frustrated newbie) ---Am I doing something wrong? Why aren't I getting any action? Usually also divolves into a good guy rant (a few good girl rants but not as many as good guy rants). "I'm a good person, why am I not getting any dates???"

Stage 2: Anger ---To hell with this site! ETC... Women/Men suck rants, etc...
pick your favorite line from any of the angry posts...

Stage 3: Denial or Absence --usually the member removes their profile in disgust!

Stage 5: Return of Membership --trying again. Some calmly, others desperately...

Stage 6: Graceful Acceptance --usually, the people on this stage have grown gracefully online... maybe gained some wisdom (some of you a lot of wisdom!). You are matured in some ways and most become bonafide forum junkies. Beenlthere, done that. Calm down, little grasshopper and all that... (you can tell by the posts as well!) To people in this stage, I'd love it if y'all found your love, I honestly do because some of you have become true diamonds in this process and so many folks out there are missing out!

Stage 6.5 Bitterness --the flip side of Acceptance is Bitterness. You become a nasty curmudgeon online. you frequent the forums not to dispense wisdom but to rejoice in other people's misery.

Stage 7: Success -- I sometimes hear this happens on occasion. We see their profile pics change from them alone to them together. It's rare and it's the goal of everyone on this site! (sometimes some people make this stage only to go back to stage one...)

This is far from a definitive list so feel free to add your own.

I'm approaching Stage 6... I think... I hope.

What stage are you at?
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
Stuck on younger women.
Posted: 5/13/2012 7:51:46 AM
I'm not even looking at age. As long as we click, then all is good.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
still not stable after age 30.
Posted: 5/13/2012 7:47:39 AM
A lot of people have differing views and interpretations of the word "stability".

I personally believe there is no such thing if you are a member of the middle to lower classes.
there is only the illusion of stability.

As was mentioned before on here, you can work all you like, get a mortgage, get held down, get promoted, blah bla blah... and still lose it all get be back to zero if you are struck with an expensive illness.
There's so many people who played this game and so many who thought they played by the rules.

The fact of the matter is, the oligarchs up there don't care about rules. they break them at will regardless of who suffers. (usually only the little guy and not them)

So the only measure I believe in is a person with resourcefulness and the ability to adapt to anything. It can mean having steak dinners sometimes but be reduced to crackers and milk at other times without batting an eyelash, moaning or getting all depressed. This person is simply competent at whatever you throw at them.
They're not caught in any stupid financial game or racket.
Because why? You will lose it all, anyway.

Living life and enjoying it to the fullest is what we were meant to do.
What else are you meant for if not to enjoy your life?
If you spend more than 50% of your life doing things you'd rather not be doing simply to keep your perceived status or whatnot, then you are not making use of your time wisely. A child will happily play up and down a flight of steps endlessly. They don't need electronic BS toys. Life really can be simple. But those who want us to keep buying want us to keep working harder to buy more things so they can be wealthier.

Life is much more precious than the accumulation of things.
I am much in agreement with the traveling types. Why not see the world? The USA alone has so much to offer yet many of us stay in one city half our lives!
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
Just a thought, how man woman find the need to.....
Posted: 5/13/2012 7:34:49 AM
I never really pay attention.
Personality still wins regardless of hair color.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
No country for old men?
Posted: 5/13/2012 5:58:14 AM
You're just in the wrong area for the type of personality you have, I suppose.
The beauty of the internet is you are no longer confined to the ladies in your town or city.
the world is your oyster. Never mind about distance. Just make friends.

That worry will take care of itself if the love is really strong.
I moved to another country for a girl.
It did not work out, but it was a good ten months of happiness. I'll do so again if the right lady shows up.
Since you are not locked into a specific area, that can be a strength for you.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 137 (view)
OMG... Is that your ? NO come on.. I'm over 30... they're my ???
Posted: 4/29/2012 7:10:59 AM
People know even if you don't announce it. :)
You can just simply say "OH, by the way, this is my friend Bob." Or simply "This is Bob."
And of course, delivery counts and brings so much meaning to it.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
Men in late 40's, early 50's wanting children?
Posted: 4/29/2012 6:58:28 AM
Also, there's more to sports than just physically playing ball with your son.
There's lots of ways you can bond with your children. The older uncles I mentioned led very active lives. They camped and hunted a lot, etc.
But it is the wisdom and grace that is something a young father may miss imparting to his kid before the kid goes off into life's challenges that is hard to teach when the father is so young as well.
Sure, you can be football buddies, but when it really counts... a good number of young dads will not know how to answer life's difficult questions that the kids may have.

Of course the women of late 40's would not want to have kids. they can't anymore unless you're that Guiness Book record oldest Mom in the world. But how often does that happen?

This is why I said I noticed that a lot of pairings like this happen with older men and much younger women... women who haven't yet raised their own families but would love to. In their eyes, the older gent would be a perfect candidate because he is stable, mature and well adjusted.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
Men in late 40's, early 50's wanting children?
Posted: 4/29/2012 6:48:00 AM
I know male relatives who married late in their 40's.
From what I have seen, they make the best fathers because of their great experience.
Yes, there is that specter of early loss of a Dad, but if the guy has a kid at say 48, you can at least reasonably say he'll live till he is 68 if he maintains good health. And by that time, the child is in their 20's.
Even though my cousins lost their dad when they were in their 20's, their lives were so enriched by those precious 20 years together, a young man who raises the same age kids would be hard pressed to match the wisdom and knowledge imparted by this wonderful uncle.

This is for the guys, though. So naturally, the women they married were all 14 years younger or thereabouts. So late 40's matching up to early to mid-30's women. NO, same age women won't be able to conceive anymore so that's out of the question.
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
men who can fix anything(your thoughts)
Posted: 4/29/2012 6:38:20 AM
This reminded me of the internet story of that guy who ran down naked from the shower to fix the sink... and the house cat decided it would be fun to play with the little sacs between his legs as he was bent under the cabinet...
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 87 (view)
what makes life fun for you?
Posted: 4/29/2012 6:34:17 AM
Enjoying a waffle ice cream cone at any time of the day.
Being free to stay in the pool for longer periods than most adults would think prudent because they fear being burned, etc...
Having fun has its costs, that's all.

Being able to just go out and pat a dog when I feel like it... or reaching out to touch a turtle and cradle it in your hands before letting it slide back in the water.

Feeding fish.

Having any type of food at a whim. Even frosted flakes at night.

Being spontaneous enough to take off my shoes and run in the surf whenever I feel like it.

Seeing beautiful things where people only see trash.
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