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 Author Thread: Listing yourself single?
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Listing yourself single?
Posted: 4/2/2008 7:35:53 AM
Dear Everyone: Thank you for all the great responses. That really does help clarify a lot for me. Happy fishing everyone.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Listing yourself single?
Posted: 4/1/2008 8:16:38 PM
Lucky Vet: Wouldn't it seem weird for a female to list her self single with kids. Would that give the impression that she was just knocked up by one or more men?
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Listing yourself single?
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:27:13 PM
David: "discussing or hearing about the ex on a constant basis" Oh i dont think that this should ever be discussed on a date or even with a new friendship.. I think concentrating on the person is more important. I have learned through having special children, that the time spent away from home is my time... I enjoy every moment that I am not home, cherish it actually enjoying something other then being the mom, or the divorcee, or the student. We all have different hats at different times, we just can't wear them all at the same time.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
A kiss...What can you tell from a kiss?
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:22:15 PM
cotter : DIDN'T Doris Day Sing this. I believe I have the CD :)
(Is it in his eyes?)
Oh no! You need to see!
(Is it in his size?)
Oh no! You make believe!
If you wanna know
If he loves you so
Its in his kiss!
(That's where it is!)

............mmmm it's in his kiss.

I have to agree with most everyone on here. A kiss say a lot about someone's personality. It shows, passion, compassion, and sincerity. Plus a kiss has body language that goes with it, like a dance you know.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Listing yourself single?
Posted: 4/1/2008 7:06:42 PM
Hey david you said this "divorced legally, but emotionally as well." I am the one that initiated the divorce, so I would say emotionally divorced yes! Do men tend to think that when the word divorce is thrown around it is the man that did the divorcing?
There seems to be so many preconceived notions before you are even talked to.
I am probably the most strongest person I know, but that is just my opinion of myself. We all have baggage, right? It just depends on how you deal with it.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Listing yourself single?
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:47:36 PM
How long after your divorce is complete can you label yourself as single. I mean I have seen quite a few profiles on POF now, and most women say divorced with children. But most men say single with kids not living at home or kids living at home and they are full time dads. At one point were they married?, right? So is there a rule that you have to list your self single, separated or divorced?
Ok please don't bash me, i am new here LOL... I am just curious because I was reading in another post about how guys would pass your profile up because it listed you as separated, or with kids, or whatever their pet-peeve would be not to date you. So I made some clarification as to why I am listed as separated, is that not a good idea?
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
SAGGING PANTS, crotch at the knees ... Do genitals really go down that far?
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:02:17 PM
I don't like that look at all, even men that wear jeans that bag at the front because they haven't replaced their clothes in like forever!!!
Give me a nice A$$ in a pair of properly fitting jeans, yum!!!
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
My beef about PART TIME dads who identify as SINGLE dads
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:30:59 PM
Hi Steve, I saw your profile your daughter is gorgeous and looks just like you
I am glad you had your peeps help you out on that. My ex got shipped off, so this year i am a single parent and going to school. So I see so many people on here angry with the who does more attitude. I think quality over quantity should matter you know.
You can be a parent in the same house, just being there and not really being there, just tuned out.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Help- i think the rules have changed !
Posted: 4/1/2008 5:18:32 PM
Hi OP. I think if they dont do what they say they are going to do, they are not worth your time. Loose their number. They are not worth it. Shows to their true testament. I think straightforward is best also. If you feel it wouldn't work just say so. No hard feelings, put the cards on the table.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
My beef about PART TIME dads who identify as SINGLE dads
Posted: 4/1/2008 6:33:48 AM
MalibuiSteve---"She recently went out of town for a couple of days and had a guy who I've never met stay at the house with the kids. I was more than a little uncomfortable with this, but there was nothing I could do. Legally speaking, he was a qualified babysitter"

Hey here in Cali, you have every right as a parent to have first choice to babysit your own kids. My ex has to give me the option that if he is working and can't have the kids to let me babysit my own children, as a parent I have that first right. It is my legal right and his legal right to watch the kids if one of us goes out of town. Maybe you should look at your legal papers again or ask your lawyer so that in the future you know where you stand

Me personally I would never let someone that I hardly know babysit my kids, they are both special needs, so I am more so overprotective.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
My beef about PART TIME dads who identify as SINGLE dads
Posted: 3/31/2008 5:05:47 PM
Well i am in the predicament to disagree with you there. My situation is I am in the middle of a divorce, and this year he got shipped off to iraq, now i am a single mom 24/7 with 2 special needs children. For a man to admit he needs support is a huge step, so for someone to come to your support group should be commendable.
Also about all those men and women that are married and are forced to live a single parent life because of the war in iraq, those people need our help, our support and our encouragement. Do you have parents in the military in this support group? For these people are not by choice are single parents!
There is a wide range of possibilities to each person that is a single parent and why they are a single parent.
Maybe give the guy the benefit of the doubt first.
plus for most men that maternal instinct isn't there, they have to work extra hard to be a mom/dad role. For most of us women it comes second nature. I have a few friends that are males that are in the single dad role and they do a super job trying to be there for their kids, emotionally and financially.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
I am having an IS IT ME moment.
Posted: 3/31/2008 2:11:59 PM
To OP
You mention going to the coffee shop. So when I am in those situations, I am thinking to myself, oh he is good looking he probably has a family or a girlfriend. Unless you are in a bar scene or online actually stating your availability, it is all up to being speculative to that situation and not really knowing how to approach that said person that has caught your eye.
good luck to you, its not you, its all of US with this so called assumptions in our heads.
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Huh. I thought online dating was supposed to be easier...
Posted: 3/31/2008 1:37:05 PM
To OP,
I read your profile and it seems very down to earth and honest. But you are still young, you have time, but with you having the most definitely awesome quality of being able to swing dance, I am surprised that you are not finding that special someone on the dance floor.

For me being older and having kids, it makes meeting people easier online, because I am not able to go out as often as I would like. I have responsibilities to take care of first

By the way women love a man that can sweep her feet off the dance floor.
Good luck fishing
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Migraines after orgasm
Posted: 3/27/2008 5:36:58 AM
My guy friend just posed this question to me yesterday, he was waiting to go to the doctor that day. I haven't heard back yet from him. He said right when he was about to O, he would get a shooting pain from the back of his head up and over his right eye. Even if he was just by himself.
My suggestion to him was ask about seeing a chiropractor and ask the doctor also if there could be a blockage somewhere.
You know we all tense up before the big O. So it would make sense that it would trigger something if we weren't feeling well. Stress manifests itself in many ways, so I would think about what is going on just before these episodes started happening.
Good luck and I hope you feel better
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
custody battle
Posted: 3/24/2008 8:13:41 PM
this is what i had been going through with the fight for my kids. Your husband was abusive when he was with you and because you left him, it won't change that. He will continue to mentally abuse you by trying to manipulate you, harass you, scare you, control you.
I know I continue to go through the Hate!
Take charge, you and your sons all should do as two posters suggested. Go get counseling, and go take self-defense classes all together, this will form a stronger bond with your kids and make you all stronger mentally.
Take care and know its going to be a long battle for yourself, your kids and you guys as a family.. Find a really good lawyer, within a reasonable price. By the way who ever files first gets to talk first, present their case first. Good luck
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Childcare during the summer
Posted: 3/18/2008 7:19:40 AM
I have my kid in boys and girls club. They do all kinds of stuff, they have a pool, they take them out somewhere else once a week. They meet all kinds of kids from all kinds of places, personally i like them it is 80 a week. He is going there for spring break since he is year round and has a longer break them me from school.

Also the Ymca has camps but for me they are on the expensive side.

I think the hours of the B&G club is 6 to 6 pm

good luck this summer
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How do single parents meet that special someone?
Posted: 3/17/2008 6:54:21 AM
Here is another scary thought, in the beginning after I left my marriage, I met a guy, that had all the right things to say. I have never introduced my son to anyone at this point.
This guy wanted to build rocket ships with my kids, and he kept asking me how am i doing. If he cooked something, he would asked well is it 5 stars, would you send it back to the chef if you didn't like it.
This guy was a narcissist that needed his ego stroked.
Came to find out that he sought out women with children because they were easy targets, he gave each of them the same line, ooo i have never done this before!.
He was quick the the sweet words too. He was a fox in sheep's clothing.
These men don't care whether or not the kids get attached and then he jets when he has no use for you or runs out of lies, or gets caught in his lies.
I found out how bad my choice was when i went on the federal court index and looked his name up, he had about 10 evictions, and embezzlement from his on law practice.
These men prey on women like us that are desperate for affection and they know how to get us.
I am trying to be more aware of this behavior, but it is the very charming doting, looking for approval type guy , he was a snake, but sometimes it is hard because even though I keep getting burned by my decisions, I have yet to loose my abilitity to trust people until it happens again.

Good luck to us right , still hopeful in san diego
 Leslie1967
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
single parents with disabled children...
Posted: 3/16/2008 10:19:44 PM
my question is complex so bare with me please: I know there are single parents out there with kids, divorced with kids, not wanting anymore kids, but when they check the box on the profile 'they dont want any', does that mean they dont want any more babies or dont want other peoples kids?

It is so scary especially with a teen that is special needs, i have to protect her first.
I pretty much separate my dating from my children as much as possible. To soon for them to go through some of these things.

I just always worry that for me I am looking for someone to make me happy, not my kids happy, not that I dont hope it will spill over to them some how, but not expecting anyone to fill in anyone elses shoes around here.

I guess what I am trying to say is that separating dating and family life kind of makes it easier for me to get to know someone else. It is juggling the time away and making time for me that gets tricky. Are men willing to be patient with woman that have a little bit more on their plate then some other single families?

Plus getting back out there and dating is very stressful and trying to figure it out is giving me a headache. Reading the forums, looking for answers, trying to figure myself out, so now I am writing to get some feedback. Thanks everyone
 
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