Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

          

Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Is a relationship 50-50? Financially speaking?
 timetofindyou11
Joined: 2/7/2014
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is a relationship 50-50? Financially speaking?
Posted: 7/8/2015 9:54:50 AM
Thank you for all your input. When you begin to fall in love and the love is reciprocated, you don't believe at first this is actually happening cause it is all so subtle. Once the hooks are in, then you start noticing. It is hard to walk away, but you are right. Eventually it will fail, even if you bring up concerns and challenge it. They will eventually disengage..slowly a downward spiral, and it all hurts. It did not happen in the beginning, I did not see it coming.
 timetofindyou11
Joined: 2/7/2014
Msg: 121 (view)
 
What Does it really mean when a woman uses the word financially secure in her post
Posted: 7/8/2015 7:31:51 AM
I agree with you however, many women say this and in the end the gentleman always is paying, and that becomes the norm over time. Some men are like this too. It is the constant misleading. Some people want a better lifestyle and they covertly get it over time in a relationship.
 timetofindyou11
Joined: 2/7/2014
Msg: 120 (view)
 
What Does it really mean when a woman uses the word financially secure in her post
Posted: 7/8/2015 7:24:21 AM
Actually many woman right financially secure, because they want someone to take care of them because they cannot do it themselves. They want to be financially supported and use there own money on them self. Man are with many woman who need this support. However not many woman will ever support a man. Sadly, many woman want equality so they say, but go through 12 months in a relationship and do the $$ math. At best it might be 65-35. Rarely do woman push the 50-50.. A few do, but not many. What is with this expectation?
If the man pushes for 50-50 the relationship usually will end.
 timetofindyou11
Joined: 2/7/2014
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Is a relationship 50-50? Financially speaking?
Posted: 7/8/2015 7:19:07 AM
I am a person who has fealt with this issue 3 times now.

You meet a person who seems to want a loving supporting relationship. They want equality, to be treated the same and have an equal partnership..As time goes on, it begins to leans towards woman expecting more financial support. I am not talking about going out for dinner and always paying. I am referring to financial manipulation. You go shopping and they tease you up to buy them things. Going to a lingerie store and saying oh this is so hot, do you like it.. Pushing towards the man buying things. Going on trips and constantly paying for everything and even going shopping for food and then letting (lol) the man pay for it. The progression towards this is so suttle.

I tried skipping a trip because of her financial situation. It was already partly paid for equally then the excuses started to come. I said than we should cancel, eventually I started feeling guilty cause she put that on me in subtle covert ways.

When a person wants an equal relationship they should mean it. This 'sugar daddy' name was invented for a reason.

I eventually started cutting back and the relationship got rocky, and it was a result from me being more responsible to myself. She would say it's not related but it is. This has happened with another person as well.

Why can't people be honest up front and save all this grief. It is hard falling in love then start feeling used. I realize a relationship cannot always be 50-50 cause there could be financial woes here and there but this is so sad. If a person says its about love only they are so mistaken. Lets keep it real. Compatibility is not about the first 6 months, that is the initial phase, but at the same time be honest.

When I started seeing the sign it really got scary, it began to change me. So hard...
 timetofindyou11
Joined: 2/7/2014
Msg: 216 (view)
 
my boyfriend still has profile up on POF, what do I do?
Posted: 3/6/2015 7:53:19 AM
I wonder how this all turned out for you. I went down this road you did, and it was a slippery road.
 timetofindyou11
Joined: 2/7/2014
Msg: 13 (view)
 
My boyfriend still has his pof account?
Posted: 12/18/2014 11:10:02 AM
Firstly, and I am talking from direct experience. If anyone is on a dating site when they are in a relationship they have issues. It doesn't mean they want to hook up, but there could be many reasons behind it. One, they are not truly happy with what they have. 2, they love you but they are missing something and may want more,. They may be insecure about themselves and feel you may leave at any time. Also, they may want to keep there options open. The point is, is this the time of person you want to take a chance on? They will not get better or change over night. Calling them out, will do you no good. However, you need to mae a decision even if you love them. I did not, I put up with it throughout, ad even herd the excuse, so what if they are there, I have not used them or anything. I said delete please..for us. She never did.
So in a nutshell, they are not trustworthy because they do not trust themselves. They are unstable or thet are purely using you. Either way, its a dark path, and the bottom line is your hurting. Guess what, you will hurt more. Stop the bleeding, there is no true loving commitment. They maybe waiting for the better person to come into there live. Depending on there needs at this time (money, affection, a daddy or even a momma). What they lacked or lost out as a child, shows they are after that as an adult. May be a bit different, but lost out. I eventually folded in the towel after aggressing out over it from fear of loss. But, in the end, you will heal faster the sooner you disolve. They are cheaters when they do this. There is no excuse for this infidelity or what have you. You deserve better. If you accept, your are fueling this person and the respect diminishes. These people are snakes and losers who do this. Do ing what they do doesn't help, I tried it to put a scare in them and the thrw it all back on me. Just leave. Hopefully someone will do the same thing to them one day.
 
Show ALL Forums