Show ALL Forums
Posted In Forum:

Home   login   MyForums  
 
 Author Thread: Pushing for yahoo messenger.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Pushing for yahoo messenger.
Posted: 10/12/2013 6:22:24 AM
Oh I remember the days of the Yahoo chat rooms and messenger.. They were the Wild West even back when I first got online in the early 2000's. The funny thing about Yahoo is I actually did run into a Nigerian scammer. I caught on the second they contacted me, but I had some fun with them pretending to be a desperate and naive guy.

It lasted for a few days until the person got tired of me always having excuses as to why I couldn't wire them some money to their bank account. They got all huffy and called me a "cold, unfeeling, a**hole" because I wouldn't wire "her" some money to help her get to the states to see "her" dying mother. LOL.

Now back to the OP's problem. . If you feel that strongly about yahoo messenger,why not do some other form of quick messaging? I've run into women on here and other places that do think all yahoo users are scammers in one sense or the other. I will use email in the beginning, but I find that after a few days, it becomes boring and whatever might've been there usually stalls out. Texting is slightly better, but that usually ends up with someone sending a text and then the other person not responding in a timely fashion.

I still talk to a lot of the people that I meet in the yahoo chat rooms over a decade ago. Go figure. LOL.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 68 (view)
 
What the heck happened?
Posted: 10/12/2013 3:07:30 AM
The OP and The "family" Friend teased each other with their hands. She probably went all the way up to the line with the guy, but she didn't give him the big O. She was more than likely was saving that for later as she has demonstrated with the guy texting her. It all seems like too much game playing. Either be with the dude for fun and just have it or stop all contact with him because it probably isn't going to develop into anything more that a booty cal' F**k buddy arrangement because you haven't known him long enought to even consider him your friend.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Im Not attracted to good girls, Why???
Posted: 8/29/2013 10:40:24 AM
Sorry OP, but just by reading your other posts, there's no way you could handle a true bad girl. A true and honest bad girl would chew you and spit you out within a few hours of meeting you and she would be bored with you the same way you claim to be bored with "good" girls.

If you're thinking about about banging your mom's bad cougar friend behind her back, but are too afraid to do it,
how in the world would you ever be able to bang a bad girl around your age who's younger and probably even wilder?
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
need opinions before i ask her to go steady
Posted: 8/29/2013 10:24:30 AM

well it's all over, I pushed her away to hard supposedly but whatever. Thanks for the help so far


Sorry to hear that it turned out that way OP, but I'm guessing that she was using her time with you for healing after the Ex. I wouldn't be surprised at all if she's talking to her Ex again because it sounded like she was still hung up on him.

My advice to you would be let her go. No more calls to her and don't accept any calls from her. She is gonna call you again when whatever she got going with her EX blows up again. You are that sweet guy that a lot of women like to have around to talk to about their loser boyfriends and their idiotic ways.

I wish you all the best OP.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Could some one please answer this
Posted: 8/17/2013 7:16:11 AM
The ID channel has a dates from hell story with actors doing the re enactments while the real people recount the horrific events. Some stories the people don't survive so their friends and family have to tell the story.

As far as the OP, It all depends on your comfort level with the guy. I would just say don't rush into things you're not comfortable with, but also don't take too long either. It's a delicate balance that you will have to strike and only you know what that is.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 158 (view)
 
Would you date someone 20 years older than you?
Posted: 1/20/2013 7:00:33 PM
Sometimes it pays to read the entire thread or atleast following the OP's posts in here.

I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you OP, but it seems like he was looking at you as easy bait and when you didn't bite, he turned on you. It's good thing that you decided to just remain friends and not get physical with him.

His remarks about your mom and her situation was callous and truly pointed out his character flaws. I think you are better off in the end. I wish you luck in finding someone that you can have a long and loving relationship with.

As far as me dating someone 20 yrs older; I would be wary of such an age difference, but I wouldn't be totally against it if was a truly special woman.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 101 (view)
 
As the FWB turns...
Posted: 5/11/2012 7:54:27 AM
So you decided to try the BF/GF thing and it didn't work out. I'm sorry that it didn't, but I'm glad that you actually true to your feelings about wanting to be in a relationship with this guy all along.

I hope that you do find somebody eventually, but I wonder if you will truly be actively looking for a guy with the arrangement you have at the moment. With the new guy, he's going to be at a serious disadvantage when it comes dating you while this FWB relationship is still ongoing.

I wonder will you stop having sex with before you get serious about looking for a true BF?
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
The Ex's cousin
Posted: 4/19/2012 9:55:45 AM
Well OP, the first you should realize that this guy was never your friend. You two weren't FWB's, but instead you were just another one of his FB that he was able to sweet talk into sleeping with him.

I have never understood people (mainly women) that go into these type of relationships who get bent out of shape when they find out their "exclusive" FWB is really just one of many and that they are really just another FB. Now you are on here complaining about him not telling you and in turn you missing the friendship.

It should be so obvious to you now. There was never really any friendship. He just pretended to be your friend so that the sex with you didn't go away. I bet you wouldn't be so into this guy if he was honest from the beginning and told you all he wanted from you was sex and nothing more.

I very much doubt that you would be wanting this guy to stick around in your life if everytime he saw you, he bent you over the couch, had his way with you and then soon after left with not even a thank you. See, he had to dress it up a little more. Otherwise, he and you know that he would've never gotten anywhere with you by acting that way.

In the future OP, just opt for a true and honest relationship instead one of these FWB or FB type of deals where you enter into it with the hope that the guy will see that you are such a wonderful woman he couldn't imagine not having a full BF/GF relationship with you. That stuff happens a lot in the movies, but rarely in real life.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
sci-fi geeks?
Posted: 1/31/2012 7:29:00 AM

I don't like Doctor Who and Star Trek bores the daylights out of me, we're not all same in our geekness.

That's so true for sure. Some sci-fi shows some ppl like I can't take because they bore me as well. True Blood is one of the for certain. Never been able to watch a full episode because I find it boring.

So what sci-fi show do you like exactly?
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
sci-fi geeks?
Posted: 1/31/2012 7:11:09 AM
You do love your sci-fi, but I can't believe you don't like Doctor Who. It's one of, if not, the longest running sci-fi shows. Doctor Who along with The Original Star Trek are some of my all time favorites. Oh I'm dying to see what will happen on The Walking Dead now that Rick had to kill Sophia. Sorry, I slipped into geek talk, back to your question.

It shouldn't be too hard to find yourself a sci-fi geek as you call them. A good place for you to start is the chat rooms and message boards associated with your favorite shows.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
What should I do with this girl?
Posted: 1/7/2012 12:32:45 PM
OP, it sounds like she either is having some problems with in her life or there is actually is someone else. This is only a guess, but I'm leaning towards her having someone else that is near her and when she's mad with him, she then gets sweet with you and the opposite when you two are having problems.

It is all too much drama if you ask me. I would just stop contacting her and begin looking once again. She is too unstable to say the least.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
he says he wants me. but doesnt show it.
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:57:19 AM
Italiangirl is spot on with her description about what the OP's post and profile represents her to be. It's just so sad that she has a child growing up in all of that chaos.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
he says he wants me. but doesnt show it.
Posted: 1/4/2012 10:08:25 AM
From what little you have post in the forums and combined with your pics, that guy probably saw you as easy prey. Your mistake was believing that after 6 months of texting and talking that you actually knew him. In reality, you didn't know him at all since you hadn't spent any kind of real time with the guy.

You both met the first night and immediately you both sleep together. That in itself is a real probably because even though you both had been talking for 6 months, you actually never hung out and enjoy face to face time with each other.

I believe you lulled yourself into the fantasy of thinking this guy was different. Maybe he was or wasn't, but it never you never got the chance to see as you started sending pics to his buddy.

Yet, in the same breath you say that he's a friend of yours. Do you know him in the same way as this guy? Meaning that the only way you actually know this guy is because you both talk and text each other over the phone and through facebook?

Your pics and profile don't match up. You post suggestive pics of yourself and yet you say you don't want to hook up or one night stands. I think you need to step back from dating and re-examine what you really want out of dating because as it is now, you are doing a lot of stuff that is sure to cause a lot of drama. Maybe that is what you are looking for all along.

You need to focus on your child and just lost both of these guys as the best thing you can get out of messing around with both of them is a FWB deal if that.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Help! He wants to move in.
Posted: 1/4/2012 9:54:43 AM
It sounds like he's not willing to share his weight and more than likely will depend on you for his financial well being. I can't believe that he wants you to give his a couple thousand dollars without having to pay it back.

I know you care for the guy and all of that, but it seems to me that you are beginning to realize what kind of man he is and you don't want to be stuck in a living situation with him. It's probably best if you just start to wind the relationship down and move on.

You care about him and all of that, but it seems from what you have written about him, that he's going to become more of burden for you in the future. If you can help him out in other ways that will keep him from becoming homeless then do that, but under no circumstances give him any money with the expectation of it being paid back. He has already told you in so many words that he won't being paying you back.

Sorry OP, but I don't see this relationship going further for too much longer.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 81 (view)
 
S ex without foreplay...do I stay or do I go?
Posted: 12/26/2011 1:55:45 PM
I'm curious as to the back story behind the original OP. Why would a rather cute girl leave her family and friends to move to another country with a man that's 16 years older than her?

Once there, she has such little self worth she allows the man to treat like his personal f*ck doll. Not for a day, week, or even a month. She allows it to go on for 3 yrs. She said that she has talked to him about it before, but it seems like it feel on deaf ears.

The OP said that she once again talked to him about it and now he claims that he didn't know she felt that way. Any man that has any concern about what a woman feels would've never done anything like that for as long as he has been doing it. He just didn't care how she felt as long as he was able to get off.

It also makes me wonder about why the OP is so desperate to be with a man that she would move to another country to be with an older man that basically could careless what she thinks.

I believe if we were able to dig deeper into this relationship, I bet it isn't no where near as loving as the OP is claiming it to be. I wouldn't be surprised if that guy is married and is keeping the OP just a his living blonde, f*ck doll.

A friend of mine meet a guy from Mexico and the guy wanted her to move there with him. The only hitch was that he was married and that she would have to live in a separate place. Oh, and he wasn't going to leave his wife either. He told her that he wasn't going to pay her rent or other utilities. She would have to do that on her own.

Well once she hear all of that, she wised up and moved on. Too bad that the OP doesn't want to move on and out of Mexico back to the U.S. I still don't get her need to follow a guy that much older than her down there to what she basically could've done her with Losers her own age.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Rap Music
Posted: 11/22/2011 10:29:42 AM
OP, now I wouldn't mind a woman listening to rap, but it also depends of the kind she likes listening to. I like more old school stuff from the 80's and 90's when rap was about having a good time or actually speaking about something truly important. The stuff these days is mostly garbage.

Do you listen to any other type of music OP, something outside of rap?

What I find is that a lot of music today (including rap) most don't have the staying power to become classics let's say 20 years from now.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Mentioning the ex: avoid it or be open about it?
Posted: 11/22/2011 10:03:05 AM

Not sure how Im supposed to talk about him. Mine was so abusive to the point that I have burn marks on my legs. Its like who is going to want me ? :( How do I tell someone that)


When it gets to that point Domo, you just tell them the truth. I would think that the guy you are with would be more than understanding of what happened with your ex.

I hate to think that you would be with someone that would be turned off by know what you went through with an abusive ex. If guy is, then he isn't the right guy for you.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
 
What did I miss so I can avoid same mistake in the future
Posted: 11/20/2011 6:54:37 PM
I've been around some truly crazy people. They can hide it for a while, but eventually they relax and show their true self. It's very hard to believe that he didn't show any signs of his violent and controlling behavior. I'm guessing he did, but the OP was too caught up in all of the newness and other stuff to see it.

He probably would hit the walls or yell out loud or do some other type of off behavior things if she looks back. All I can say is she needs to re examine how she picks men in the future.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Should I express my emotions to him?
Posted: 11/20/2011 10:10:46 AM
So why don't you have any friends closer to your age? I know, it's because you are far more mature than people your age.Which maybe true in some cases, but this situation right here show your immaturity. You never think about dating your boss. That's a huge red flag.

Secondly, I question his level of maturity as well because he's 34 and with a son and he's sort encouraging your crush on him. That's what you are having right now a crush. If you are thinking about just being a FB or FWB. There's really very little difference between the two (that's a discussion for another time). I don't see anything wrong with that except that you will more than likely put his and your job in jeopardy. If you don't want that to happen then just forget about it all together.

I wonder why you are so desperate for this particular man's attention. You are 21 and childless, you can basically have any single man childless man out there. So I'm wondering why you are so hung up on this guy? Is it because liking him is dangerous in a sense as it raises the stakes because of the job situation? Do you like it because for you two to have anything assembling a relationship, it will require you both to be sneaking around?

The whole situation sounds like a lot of drama to me.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
 
Dating a man who is 22 years older than me?
Posted: 11/20/2011 9:57:53 AM
What I find funny is that she's in China. I'm surprised that the Chinese govt. allow them to use POF especially with it's political forums. That could spread some harmful influences in her young and fertile mind.

Well if she is/was a student, she's most likely working for the Chinese govt. now. Who knows, but that age gap probably wouldn't work out for anything long term unless it was truly love. I highly doubt most of those in their 20's who are dating 42 year olds will feel happy about that decision when their in their 30's with a couple of kids and their husband is in 50's and entering a new phase of life.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
The Move in or there is no relationship ultimatum
Posted: 11/18/2011 9:43:49 AM
It sounds like drama surrounds the both of you. I wouldn't date some like that and then again, you are kind of aloof yourself when it comes to relationships and being honest with your feelings.

Like I posted in your FWB thread. You don't really care for this guy and your post here just confirms what I was thinking along. You and your FWB/BF wannabe aren't compatible. I say you both should stop the sex, cut your loses and concentrate on finding some compatible with your wants and needs.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
 
As the FWB turns...
Posted: 11/18/2011 9:38:40 AM
It seems like the majority of FWB relationships turn into drama fests were one or both of the parties end up getting their feeling hurt. People say that they go into FWB's with their eyes open, but I truly believe that a great many people don't realize that a FWB is a relationship. No matter what some might say or protest, they are relationships.

Just think about for a moment. You are having sex, hanging out together, and doing all kinds of other relationship type of stuff, except you aren't officially dating. You're both there killing time while waiting for someone better to come along.

That would have to sting when someone new comes along and you are kicked to the curb. Yet, it is only logical that would eventually happen because for your friend's new relationship to thrive, your friendship has to cool or totally stop.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 104 (view)
 
Watching your partner have sex with someone else
Posted: 11/15/2011 6:55:26 AM
To each their own, but I have no desire to watch someone smaller than me have sex with my girl. If she was to be into that type of action, then she wouldn't be my cup of tea.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 85 (view)
 
As the FWB turns...
Posted: 11/14/2011 8:06:37 PM
I stand corrected christyis4real.


Yeah, he knows it's a FWB situation and I have been debating cuttin it off period, but cannot get myself to do it. lol. He's pretty good at what he does. lol.


That right there makes me stand by what I said earlier about a FWB relationship as being a sort of a put down. From what you have said, it sounds like you really don't like this guy all that much outside of sex. Otherwise, you would cut it off if you didn't want to hurt his feelings by rejecting his desire to take it further.

The best thing to do is cut the guy loose so he can find a woman that wants more from him that just sex and you can find yourself a FB. The situation you have is not a FWB because it seems like you aren't truly interested in anything else about him.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
My friend.
Posted: 11/13/2011 5:32:39 PM
OP, this is the case of two people being scared to actually sit down and talk to each other. I've always found it funny that people can easily take their clothes off in front of each other and bang each other into the headboards. Somehow when it comes to actually talking to each other about something other than sex, they become frightened and just avoid talking about it.

Sit down with him OP in a quiet and relaxing moment and tell him how you feel. Tell him that you want more from him and that you've always wanted more, but were too afraid to tell him what you were feeling.

That should give him the opening to either grab and kiss you or for him to take off running like a scared, little puppy.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 77 (view)
 
As the FWB turns...
Posted: 11/13/2011 5:23:17 PM

It just ended up being a FWB relationship (with agreeance from both of us).


You went into it eyes wide open with the hopes that if the sex was good enough, that he would want be a in a relationship with you. Maybe I'm wrong, only you know that for sure.



I've never been in this type relationship before. I didn't know what to expect really.


Either way, you entered into this type of relationship with an ulterior motive and it back fired.



So, for me to cry and complain about it is, in my opinion, warranted.


How is your crying justified when you knew what you wanted, yet you settled for less in the far off chance that he would change his mind later. You were putting all of your effort into showing him that you would make a wonderful girlfriend and he would magically change his mind, but instead you didn't count on the guy actually sticking to what you both agreed to until someone better comes along.



I will know better though if It ever happens again.
I hope you take those words to heart. No one should enter into a FWB relationship with the hopes that the person will suddenly come around and want to be exclusive to you. That rarely happens. I'm guessing a lot more ppl think it will magically work out like it did for Justin and Milla in the movies. That right there is a fantasy for sure.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Old Friend....Help !!
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:51:04 AM
OP, she was or is using you as her emotional crutch. Just get ready for when she's having a problem with that guy. Once that happens, she will come running to you. If you have any kind of feelings for her, it might be wise to just to back off from contacting her and excepting her texts.

That night you both spent together was just because she was lonely and bored. You're in the friend zone and you're not coming out it. You can ask her out, but you should know what she will probably say to you. "Ben, you are SUCH a great guy and you will make someone a GREAT boyfriend someday, but I VALUE OUR FRIENDSHIP TOO MUCH TO RUIN IT by going out with MY BEST FRIEND. "

Either that or something similar is coming dude. Be prepared for it. Sorry that you are falling for a flake.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 70 (view)
 
As the FWB turns...
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:42:47 AM

these kind of relationships are always fraught with drama and confusion.


I believe that is one of the reasons that so many people seem to drawn to these type of relationships. I know this isn't everyone on who has been in a FWB relationship, but it would seem like the majority of people involved in these type of relationships have other type of drama and chaos swirling around in their lives.

I always thought of being in a FWB as sort of a put down. They both are good enough to keep each other busy until they find someone that is truly worthy of their companionship.

Might be fun at first, but it would seem that would get boring rather quickly.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
I'm Sure this has Happened to Many People . . .
Posted: 11/13/2011 8:33:33 AM
She sounds like the typical type of woman that likes to keep the guy around that listens to her problems while she is off pursuing the man she really wants. If I was him, I would just slowly stop texting and calling you. It's pretty obvious that you are just enjoying the attention that this guy is giving you.

I agree with TDH as well. If you have met this man and their is no "attraction", then why are you continuing to waste not only his time, but yours as well. His time could be better spent seeking out women that actually want to date him, not just chat him up via text messages.

You could also be looking for a man that YOU want to be with instead playing games by wasting time with a man you OBVIOUSLY don't want to date or be with. The only logical reason why you haven't cut this guy loose is because you are enjoying the ego stroking that comes from having a guy interesting in you.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 68 (view)
 
As the FWB turns...
Posted: 11/13/2011 6:00:03 AM
I don't get why ppl get into these type of relationships ( and it is a relationship) then want to cry or complain when things change. I always thought the point of the FWB was to take care of each other sexual and emotional needs until some worth dating came into your view.

Never knew that FWBs were supposed to be monogamous. I always thought that both of the FWBs were screwing as many ppl as they possibly could in short amount of time.

I tell anyone that If you aren't able to deal with the dynamics of a FWB, then you have no business getting involved in one as it will only lead to you getting your feelings hurt.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 166 (view)
 
Religion and Dating
Posted: 11/13/2011 5:53:19 AM

I was hesitant to open this thread because Iknew it would be just a Christian bashing fest by supposedly open minded people, and you folks didn't disappoint. If it were any other group(except maybe jewish) where such negativity and criticism was being put forward the whole thread would be pulled for being offensive.


A thread about let's say, The Muslim religion wouldn't only be pulled for being offensive, but also because the owner would would be receiving death threats. He would be issuing a public apology in the hopes that it would quell the Islamist that would've been angered.

The reason that most people don't call out the Islamic religion publicly probably has little to do with respect, but more with fear. A lot of people on here are mentioning the zealots in the Christian religion, but there are few, if any, who have called out those same type of people in the Islamic faith. Funny how the fear of being beheaded or blown up will silence your religion's critics.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
Thought I had found the one...
Posted: 11/11/2011 4:33:05 PM

This is really sad to me, because I think he does love you but between being a bit immature, and having a very fragile ego, he'd rather lose you than be brave and honest with you.

Also I could be completely wrong.


Well the OP said that she found out that he has a girlfriend. I highly doubt that he "loved" her. She was just there until he found something better in his mind. A Man worth anything would never berate his girlfriend of some trivial B.S. That just doesn't happen. Men that do that, never cared for the woman in any significant manner.

OP, I think you need to take a step back and find out why you seem to fall so fast and hard for abusive losers. The common denominator between all of those guys is you. I'm betting that there are some pretty good men that find you attractive, but you are attracted to them. Until you find out why you are picking losers, then you are doomed to repeat the pattern of the failed relationships of the past.

Good Luck with your fishing OP.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Male friend annoying me
Posted: 11/6/2011 10:33:04 AM
The OP's friend probably would be better off just slowly easing out of her life. The guy hasn't made any kind of suggestive comments, but yet she has imagined him having more than just friendship feelings for her.



It's just this under current that I think I feel but as he has never said anything, I can't slam it down. Until the salesman's comment , where I made it all the more clear again in very straight up, direct manner.


That quote right there says a lot about what is actually is really happening and what you are perceiving is happening.



I have set boundaries with other male friends before and had no issues and didn't have this weird feeling. Even when some of them flirted, I laughed it off and life went on, without the negative feelings. I'm just stumped as to why I feel this way with this person.


I think I have figured out why the OP is so annoyed with her male friend. It's because unlike her other male friends, he hasn't tried to flirt or come on to her. That's probably the reason she's annoyed and it's starting to get to her.

The OP is starting to look more and more like those women that enjoy having male friends around them to help boost their egos.

If I was the male friend and you accused me of something that I didn't do, I would more than likely drop you as a friend. It seems like you are going to create drama between the two of you whether it is real or imagined.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Confused...
Posted: 11/6/2011 6:39:20 AM

Way to think outside the box. Absolutely. I think it's perfectly reasonable to assume that Aliens abducted him and then took the time to delete his POF account.


Well that was after they gave him the infamous anal probe. Maybe that will give you a little comfort OP. The thought of them screwing him physically like he did with you mentally.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Male friend annoying me
Posted: 11/6/2011 6:26:25 AM
I'm wondering why if this guy is so annoying to you, why haven't you dumped him already. Your business dealings with him can't worth all trouble of him annoying that much.

If I was you already, I would've dumped him as a friend already. I, like many others here suspect that there is far more to this story than you have told us. It would be nice to hear what his prospective of this situation is. Maybe if he reads this or you tell him how annoyed you are with him, he might do the right thing and just end the friendship to save you a piece of mind.

In the long run, it probably would be for the both of you to go your separate ways. I just don't think that is going to happen because I believe you have been using him as an emotional shoulder to cry on when things in your life aren't going good. You know, like you having a bad day at work or some other kind of problem you had that day.

What you describe is a guy that is listening to your problems and perhaps beginning to want more than just a friendship with you. Who knows, it's up to you to directly ask the guy what is on his mind and be firm with him and say, "THERE WILL NEVER BE ANYTHING BETWEEN THE TWO OF YOU!"

I wish you all the best OP, but it looks like the only way that this situation will resolve itself is at the cost of your friendship with him.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 34 (view)
 
What would you do
Posted: 11/2/2011 11:54:33 AM
^^^
I totally agree with you Dayna. She still have feeling for her ex. Otherwise, she wouldn't have given what he said to her a second thought. She's just needs to be honest with herself and the new guy. It's sad, but I think even if she does move in with the the new guy, it's not going to workout because like she said,
The ex knows how to push her buttons and get her out of her comfort zone.
That statement right there tells me that she's in a safe and stable relationship and it's boring her to death.

If the new guy was "exciting" and "fun" to her, it wouldn't matter that the ex could push her buttons because the new guy would already have those buttons pushed. Nope, for some reason, she's still stuck on the ex in some way. Until she can deal with whatever her issues is with him, then the new guy will never have a chance to be happy with her.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Do guys actually date single mothers?
Posted: 11/1/2011 11:46:14 AM
OyVay said,


Hey I get it, be the guy with the answers, more single mom will want to datecha!

But to me, his continued posts like this reminds of me of another guy we had on here a few years ago. He hated single moms, but spent his life on the single parents threads ranting about the unfair laws in canada about child support! He droned on and on about the same thing.

Seems this is the flip side of that, at least to me!


That person's name was Johne and he did seem to go on and on about single moms and the laws in Canada. It was funny reading it at first, but he kept on repeating the same thing. That's when it got to be sad and boring. Those were the days in the single mom forums. He was there to chime in about single moms and the Parentis loco law in Canada.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
how to tell if you are in the Friend Zone
Posted: 10/23/2011 9:55:22 AM
^^^
Or get an embarrassment at work when word gets around that you opened the door naked.

She tells your co - workers, "That Wubzy's such a creep. All I did was come over to his place as a friend to watch t.v. and when he opened the door, he was standing there naked. I never felt so scared in my life."

You get humiliated and she becomes the victim and in turn, she garners more attention for her ego.

I say just let go of the fantasy of being with her. It sounds like you will be in for a lot drama and flakiness if you end up with this chick.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Too much phone
Posted: 10/23/2011 8:36:10 AM
OP, there are stories of men driving 2 plus hrs. just to meet a woman they were interested in. Yet, you have a guy that lives less than 2 miles from you and he doesn't make the effort to see you in person, instead he wants to talk to you on the phone.

Something is just not right about all of this OP. What's with this guy. Are you sure that he is actually looking for a relationship and not just a phone buddy type of friendship? I think you need to sit him down and have a long discussion with him about the requirements in this relationship you have going forward.

It sounds like he is playing at being a relationship instead of actually participating in a real one. It might be time to move on if her doesn't want to go any further doing phone chatting.
I wish you all the best OP. Good luck with it all.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 86 (view)
 
Men and their intentions...
Posted: 10/14/2011 8:58:33 PM
After reading this thread again, I found out, because of the other posters on here, that the OP lied about the situation and actually is or was in a FWB with the guy. I thought there was something strange about the post the OP had posted.

Now it turns out that she's not only fcuking the guy, but he's in another state as well. I believe that she posted this thread in the hopes that we would tell her that the guy wants more from her. In the end, she's more immature than he is. So she the only one she's fooling is herself.

I'm sticking with my belief that she has low self esteem because she's a bigger woman and because of that, she willing to put up with any kind of negative attention that she receives from a male.

I find it funny how she threw guys her age under the bus for being immature and how more mature she and this guy are, when in reality, the both of them are far more immature than probably most men and women their ages.

This post should be an example of what happens when people lie to themselves when getting into this type of arrangement. In the end, what little sympathy I had for the OP quickly evaporated when I learned that she had lied about what the true situation was with her and the "Creepy Guy."

Wait a second, if this guy just touching her on the thigh "Creeps" her out, then I can only imagine what she feels when he's fcuking her like a rag doll.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Moved to a new town and now she breaks up with me
Posted: 9/30/2011 11:00:04 AM
Devin, I think what would be best for you in this situation is to cut all contact with her. I think she's using you as an emotional crutch while she goes off and bangs other guys. She knows that you will always be there when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Hell, from what you just described, she has already done that.

If I were you, I would be looking to make new friends. Perhaps through facebook or some other social networks. Try finding out what kind of groups and things are going on in your school. I have no doubt if you open yourself up to others, you will have no trouble finding friends and maybe eventually finding a woman that truly cares about you.

As it stands now, you ex cares nothing about you except what she can get out of you to satisfy her own emotion needs at that moment.

The best of luck to you Devin.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Men and their intentions...
Posted: 9/13/2011 9:14:19 PM

oh good lord. he's probably married. why are you "friends" with a 40 something yeat old guy anyway?

Don't you know. All the guys her age are too immature for her and yet she and this guy seem to be just as immature as the guys her age. They aren't talking to each other about what they truly are looking for. It's so obvious that her "friend" wants more from her. I believe that the OP is getting an ego boost from all the attention that he paying her. More than likely, if guys her age were doing all the things this guy was doing, then she would either be calling them immature or reciprocating their actions.


don't you know that men and women can't really be friends?

It's rare, but it can be done only if both parties have no physically or emotional attraction to each other. Even if one has either or both of those, then there will always be some type tension between the two. Whether openly or hidden, those feelings will remain there.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Men and their intentions...
Posted: 9/13/2011 11:52:29 AM

why is it creepy to be in a dating relationship with a younger person ... if both parties agree ?

as long as the younger person is an adult then who are we to judge .


I think what makes this guy so creepy is that at his age, he's copping a feel and instead of owning up to it, he's trying to pass it off as something else.

His pretending to be her friend and yet touching her on the thighs and not owning up to wanting more from her.

I have to say that the OP is enjoying all the attention from the creepy old guy. I wonder if a main part of the reason why she is still talking to this guy even though his touch "creeps her out" is because she has some self esteem issues.

When I was that age and someone was "creeping me out", they were immediate told about it and if they didn't change that behavior, they were out of my life.

OP, instead of looking at only his motives, I think you would be well off to look at what your motives are for staying friends with a guy like this.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Thinking about breaking up
Posted: 8/29/2011 10:19:40 AM
Only someone with low self esteem would deal with someone that long. He must really clean up nice. Get ready to used as example of no matter how sloppy a guy is, if he's hot enough, there's some woman, somewhere that will put up with it.

I think if I was a guy in your age range, I would pass you by just picking such a loser. Goes to show me that even though you have the intelligence, you are sorely lacking any kind of common sense.

We know, from your post, that he's a unclean loser, but what I'm curious about is why are you so desperate to be with such an obvious loser. What is it about you that makes you want someone that, from all counts, you have nothing in common with. Do you really need to be with a man that you are willing to be with "this" man so that you won't be alone?
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Whats the gain.
Posted: 8/29/2011 9:32:28 AM
OP, how could you cheat on him when you broke up with him? The question you should be asking yourself is why, if you were/are so in love with him, that you were able to so easily go off and sleep with someone?

If I was him, I wouldn't get back with you. Being the mother of my son would play no role in my decision in that regard. What your actions would have proved is that you had such little faith in me and my feelings for you.

My thought would be their opinions matter more to you than what you can see with your own eyes and feel with your own heart. Could it be that you aren't use to man treating you well. From how you described him, I can't see no fault in anything he has done. I know many women would be falling all over themselves to be with a man that treats them the way he treats you.

Maybe you got bored with him treating you so well and you were looking for a way to end the relationship and your "friends" gave you just the excuse you needed. Either way, I think you really do need to see what is the reason behind you having such little trust in your boyfriend.

By the way, you never did say that you that you loved him.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
If a woman tells another man besides her own she loves him whats the chances she slept with him?
Posted: 8/28/2011 7:16:22 PM
OP, I don't know if she physically did anything with that guy, but she sure as hell had something emotionally going on with him.

Well last year right around the time we got news that she was pregnant with my now 9 month old son we had major issues with texts and myspace.


With her talking to some guy of myspace should be reason enough for you to dumb her.


I noticed a quick change in her behavior to the way she dressed...i mean this girl was doing things now that i've been begging her to do like keeping her hair done and shaving her-well you know.


When a woman does things for another guy that you have been begging for, then it means that GUY is her main priority. Just another red flag on the way to dumb her.


one particular guy she was talking to kept texting her even after the big arguments we had, she even called him from my moms phone and received messages(talk about bold).


Not only was that bold, but it shows a total disregard for your feelings. What I can't understand is why you continued seeing her (I'm guessing it has to do with her being pregnant).


She tells this guy she loves him and asks can she see him before he goes to work...A year later and i cant get over it.


I believe the reason you can't get over it is that you have come to realize that she totally made you look like a fool and you allowed her to do it with little or no consequence to her.

I second what a poster said a few posts above me about getting a paternity test. There's a good possibility that you could be raising another man's child. I think that might be something that is festering in the back of your mind. I know that it would be if I had time to think about all that she was doing in that year she became pregnant.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
being friends after you have had relations
Posted: 8/26/2011 6:51:14 AM
I agree a 100% with Cdn Iceman. He's so playing you and setting you up for a FWB or booty call deal.

It took him a month to tell that you two weren't going to work out. Doubtful indeed. It's time to cut him loose after only a month. Otherwise, you are going to get into a messy type of situation that is going to kill future opportunities with guys that really want to have a relationship with you.

I know that if I was trying to date a woman and found out that she was still messing around with some guy in FWB or booty call deal, I would be out of the door quick. I have always found with those type of arrangements the new person is always the one on the outside looking in.

Wouldn't you rather invest all of that emotional energy of yours into a guy that likes everything about you instead of some guy that likes sleeping with you, but yet doesn't want to be committed to you.

Cut your loses and move on. There's plenty of men out there that would love to be your friend and have a relationship with you as well.

By the way, I'm betting that this guys is pretty good looking or else I doubt that you would be willing to stick out for someone who basically told you that you'll always be his backup.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 410 (view)
 
why do men only care about sex???
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:37:46 AM
why is it that every guy i meet or talk to automatically thinks i want sex from them?


Have you thought that is you are the common thread between all of those guys?


dont they know there is more to me then whats between my legs???


They know it.


Im tired of being used by men for sex


It seems like you didn't care as you allowed them to use you for what was between your legs.


Are there really any men out there that don't want women just for sex?


I would raise my hand, but that would be pointless since I don't know if you have learned your lesson as of now.


I feel that sex is a bonus.... but only when both ppl are ready for it.


If both people are truly honest with themselves, then they have to know that sex will eventually have to happen if the relationship has any chance of going forward.


Just because he is, does that mean i have to be as well??


This remark here contradicts what you wrote earlier in your rant. The part about being tired of being used for sex. Sorry, but no one can use you unless you allow it to happen. Stop being passive in the dating game.

It seems to me that you are allowing them to "go in between your legs" in the hope that by doing so, it will make them want to have a relationship with you.


This is an everyday thing i deal with and i would like to finally know why that's all men want me for.

Only you can answer that question or maybe you finally have. The point is that you allow those men that you are choosing to think of you in that manner. Why shouldn't they think of you like that? You say that those men are thinking about sex and yet on the other hand, you willing allow them to "go between your legs".

It looks like your problem was a result of your moving standards when came to the men. You try and project an image of you wanting to wait and know the guy better, but yet you seem drop that really quick and end up getting used for sex.


I am not a whore.


I don't believe you are unless you were charging them afterwards. LOL.

On a serious not, this post is over 4 yrs old and I see that the OP is still on here. I wonder has she learned to pick better men and not get used for sex.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
no contact rule
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:16:24 AM
Why are you so keen on chasing after a woman that clearly wants nothing to do with you? If I were you, I would cut my loses, stop all contact with her, and try to move on. I do know that I wouldn't be trying to get her back or pining over her like you are doing.

More than likely she sees you as some obsessed loser that won't take no for an answer. If you aren't careful and keep this up, she probably will label you as a stalker. She might even get the police involved as well. Nothing like explaining to the next woman you are trying to date that you had a restraining order filed against you. Can you say next.
 palmer f
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
i dont get it
Posted: 8/25/2011 8:07:54 AM

i cant catch a break with guys.. no matter what they say in the end i always end hurt.


You have to learn beyond what they are saying and start looking at their actions. That's the first thing that you should start doing.


am I that ugly that no guy wants me?


Nope, you aren't ugly. You're cute.


i try to write people on here but no guy will right be back.


I believe you are writing to guys that based on their looks and not their substance. There are a lot of guys on here that would fall over themselves to get a message from a cute woman. Most guys on here don't get any messages at all. We also do get the read/delete or unread/delete all the time so we know how you feel when it comes to this.


I'm really shy at first but no guy will give me a chance to see that I'm really caring.


A man that doesn't have the time or patience to give a cute girl a chance is worth the time or effort. A man that's into you will want to know more about you. One that's not will become bored by any of the other details of your life that doesn't involved what his objective is with you.

Being shy can make dating just that much harder. I have learned that from experience OP. I have found that my shyness at times have hampered my dating life, but it hasn't stopped it. I have no problem talking to women, it's just starting the conversation that sometimes gets me. Once I start talking to them, I have no problems afterwards.


i don't understand why i cant catch a break with guys.


I think you need to re evaluate the type of guys that you are choosing to message and go after. It seems that you are picking guys that have little to no interest in knowing you any better.


all i ask is to be happy. is that to much?


I want you to be happy as well. I think everyone should have a chance to be happy in their lives.

I bet there are plenty of guys that are willing to talk to you, get to know you better and would love to have a chance at dating you, but in all likely hood, you have passed them by for the more flashy type of guy. A guy that all the girls want, but one that has choice of so many women that he doesn't have get to know you any better. Hell, he doesn't even have to talk to you at all since he has most of the alphabet at his disposal.
 
Show ALL Forums