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 Author Thread: most romantic thing a man has ever done for you?
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 16 (view)
 
most romantic thing a man has ever done for you?
Posted: 4/7/2014 8:07:06 PM
Like many others have stated, when I feel most romanced is when my date tailors things to my preferences. Just a couple weeks ago I was alerted that we had a "busy day" coming up. I had no idea, we hadn't talked about planning anything specific, so my reaction was one of curiosity, surprise and anticipation. We didn't know each other that well but the fact that he'd planned a whole day around the little he knew about me was just adorable. We started off at an organic vegan restaurant for lunch, went to a Russian art exhibit, had a picnic in the park, went antiquing, fun at the local planetarium, and then he took me into the male bathroom stall where he presented a flask full of my favorite drink, we imbibed, and went to a Pink Floyd laser light show. Afterward he surprised me with a laser pointer and a plasma ball (I'd mentioned in one of our first conversations that "all I've ever wanted is a plasma ball"), and took me up to a beautiful spot on the mountain with a killer view. He put on this cute old-timey AM radio station he'd found and "thought I'd like" (I did!) and we listened to "stories" from the 30s and 40s, and danced to the sweet, drawling tones of Billie Holiday.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Random Question
Posted: 4/7/2014 7:22:07 PM

Again... so what wasn't around, except an older model/form, back in the 50s & 60s? What stories do you long to hear? I'm sure some men here wouldn't mind meeting you and telling you stories but you are vague in areas where they might not wish to reach out and get rejected.

You don't want cyber sex, okay, but you do want sex while hearing stories of their childhood. While 65-67 is pretty specific, what went on in that age groups' youth that you like hearing? I could be wrong again LOL but I'm betting some of these men are unsure enough to not contact you because you aren't making yourself clear.

I'm just trying to help, as I'm sure I'm not the only one a bit confused. I'm not judging or trying to call you out.


I don't know if you are implying that life in the 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s and even 2000s was no different than now or what, but I can't even indulge that. My grandmother is 70 and she tells me about how they had air raids during school and were so afraid of the Russians, and her opinion of Elvis Presley is the most colloquial I've ever heard. My mother, 48, recalls dancing the night away to Come On Eileen at a place called Star Palace, and recounts step by step how she made her hair as big as possible every morning before high school. Even I remember things kids these days have never known. When I would need a phone number, AND a pager number to reach someone effectively, sleeping in front of my computer waiting for my shitty dial-up to load. I like nostalgia. It exists. What are you saying?

None of the men here can contact me (POF age rules), and again, that's not my aim here.

Who wants cyber sex?? What even IS that??
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 20 (view)
 
How does he feel?
Posted: 4/7/2014 7:13:03 PM
You're all right and I'm not a troll or broadcasting. Just confused, hormonal and tired. I will go hang out with more men, hopefully old ones ;)
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Random Question
Posted: 4/4/2014 12:37:16 PM
There are sites online for casual sexual hook ups, you make a profile that says you are in an open relationship with a guy not really fulfilling your sexual needs and are looking for men in their 60s plus to have sex with and hear about partylines and discos and hippies. Surely you already knew this, so I'm going to assume you hoped all these posts would get men here to contact you, which is actually against the posting rules, in case you are interested.


Again, not looking to find older men online. That's specified in the OP. Don't ever assume, just as a general rule. You're wrong, by the way.


Not sure what you are really looking for though, if a person in their 60s knows how to use the interest is a turn off for you, because 60s isn't that old, almost all of us can use a computer. It would seem your fetish is for someone in the back woods, who still lives like they did when they were teens...???? Other than some technology, like computers or cell phones, they pretty much had everything back in the 50s & 60s as they do now. It's not like we grew up before machines were invented. I think you are going to need to be much more specific. But when you are in the presence of someone of your type, just tell him that you'd do him so he's not confused by your attention that he may think is just you being nice to an older man.


So, so wrong. I know what tech did and did not exist in the past. I'm a historian, and even if that weren't my chosen course, I think it's common knowledge that people alive today weren't roughin it in the woods or driving in steam-powered locomotives...


You also seem to be saying that you are willing to trade sex for these old men's childhood stories...you don't have to give them sex for that, many people in nursing homes or the market or sitting in a park would be glad to tell you stories about their childhood, unless the stories make you horny, again you need to be more specific. And you need to go older than 60s to find people who aren't current on what's new. A lot of people in their 70 and 80s and older are pretty computer savvy. And what's with the age of 67 & 47, in this case it's a bit too specific, can you explain this?


The stories do make me horny. I was being sarcastic with the whole computer thing, but still would not want to date an older man who is purposefully seeking out a younger woman online. As far as the age thing...Too specific? Who gets to measure that? I don't know about 47. That's his preference, not mine. Guessing he's just placing a number on his preference for older middle aged women. For me, I find my attraction is usually to men who happen to be 65-75. Older than that reminds me of my great grandparents, who were lovely, but I can't cross that barrier just yet.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Random Question
Posted: 4/4/2014 11:17:23 AM

Hey now, don't assume she's a gold digger , it is possible she wants to jump his wrinkly old bones and hear tales of rotary dial phones ya know. Geeeeez .


This is true, actually. Don't care about money, I care about the link to the past.


I'm going out on a limb here and guessing you have some unresolved daddy issues. I'm 58 and I rarely find a man in his 60's I'm attracted to. But in answer to your question, none of them will take you seriously. They'll try to use you for sex or as arm candy, but not for the long haul.


What long haul? Lol. "Seriously" meaning, look at me as something more than a babychild. Perfectly fine being used as sex or arm candy, I would basically be doing the same + I get to hear childhood stories and see old photos.


Nice old horny guys can be a little obtuse when it comes to young girls
so you have to hit them with a sledge hammer or at least a 2x4 to get their
attention.


The problem is doing that in person, and I don't think I'd want to fraternize with an old over the net, the fact that they know how to use computers that efficiently is a turn off.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Random Question
Posted: 4/4/2014 11:01:01 AM

OP : why is this difficult. If you have the chutzpah to get involved with someone older than your grandfather why would it be difficult to simply say:

I know that you are 67, and I am 21, however, I am very curious and would like to pick your brain and touch your body. I know this is hard to believe, but I am serious. Let'd do it. By the way, my boyfriend is a non issue. We have an agreement about this. He is is pursuing women who are 47, so If you have a daughter who is single and 47 this might be a win win situation for all of us!

Voila


Lol! Thanks for this :)
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 43 (view)
 
What music makes you feel the most intensely?
Posted: 4/3/2014 6:00:34 PM
I like rock music, specifically rock made by British men in the 70s. Ziggy Stardust gave me sexual freedom. I also have a love affair with Queen (the early stuff, mostly. Queen, Queen II, SHA especially), Nevermore is still what I listen to every time I'm feeling lovesick. Floyd though, without a doubt, is my staple. The meat of all music. I have listened to them in all of my odd moments. "Bike" (PATGOD) was playing during my first kiss, and I'll think of him fondly and innocently every time I hear it. I've never seen them live, I probably never will, but I've had many the high night, understanding the intention of every word, appreciating the purity, and honesty with which they deliver each note.

Oh, and I went on a date, in an altered state, to a Floyd laser light show in a planetarium dome recently. Beautiful.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Random Question
Posted: 4/3/2014 2:17:01 PM
You should definitely break-up with your 27 y.o. current boyfriend first whom you've mentioned.
That guy is someone who "gets your motor running" as you have shared.

Starting with a clean and honest slate would be the best route for seeking a 60-70 y.o. gent.
Good luck with your ongoing romantic search.


I definitely have no reason to break up with him, haha. He knows that I like 67 yr old and he likes 47 year olds. We're exclusive now but we're both interested in ORs, have been open about this. There are no qualms here, if you'd like to answer my question, answer, but please no useless info and aggressive assumptions, thanks :)

--and no, I'm not a troll.
I don't understand why, if you don't want to answer the question at hand, you can't just scroll past it and not waste effort on criticism.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How does he feel?
Posted: 4/3/2014 2:10:10 PM

You are conflicted indeed, what about your 67 year old? I imagine your 27 year old probably feels pretty crap knowing that you have an interest in a man 40 years his senior.


Hey can you please not make assumptions? As mentioned in the original post, we are both open to open relationships, and we share a taste for the old folk. We've discussed this, so I don't have to imagine anything. He likes women 47+, I like men 67+. At some point in the future, if we are still together, we will probably engage in such activities, either together or with the other's consent.


I'd tell him. If he's not up to the challenge then you have the rest of your life ahead of you. Good luck. Keep your stick on the ice.


If we're ever in some quiet romantic situation, I will. I just have a general rule that I don't do those things without making sure they're reciprocated first, but such is growing up.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 22 (view)
 
What did I do?
Posted: 4/3/2014 2:02:57 PM

But it also could have been taken as a rejection of whatever it was he was doing at that moment in time; if he was trying to be good to you and you responded by demanding something he may or may not have been capable of at that time, he would have felt rejected, unappreciated and defensive all at the same time.


^^this was it, I asked at a bad time, when he was doing other things, he read more into it than I had ever intended. He interprets my continuous desires as an expression of dissatisfaction with his endeavors, when really it's the opposite. He's also just insecure and I need to be more sensitive to that.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How does he feel?
Posted: 4/3/2014 10:51:57 AM
Of course I'm conflicted haha :) 21 in Utah is not the same as 21 everywhere else. It's like being 29, majority of my friends have been married for over a year and are pregnant or already have kids. This is the norm. I'll know what I want when I get some more years on me, for now I'll just whine on the internet I guess :/
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Random Question
Posted: 4/3/2014 10:42:19 AM
How would I let a guy over 60 know that I am interested in him, in person. Just curious, no rude answers please. Online I imagine it'd be simpler. In person I'll get compliments from older men but always in this reserved way. "I may be an old man but I'm allowed to tell a girl she's pretty". I have a thing for those born in the late 40s-50s, I just want to pick their brains and touch their bodies. I'm 21, if I meet a 67 year old how am I supposed to get him to take me seriously?
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Hi ladies
Posted: 4/3/2014 10:10:42 AM
I was in an LDR for 4 years. They can work when both parties are invested and committed and have a time-bound goal for relocation. LDRs demand more than other relationships and the stress is often too taxing for one partner. If either of you is insecure in the relationship, it will not work. I don't like dating in my region, but I need affection and attention. Some guys can shower that upon you over skype and phone calls but most can't. I still have feelings for my LDR, because the way things ended was murky and strange. I don't feel comfortable being with someone I know can just stop answering calls and I would never know where they are, but that's me. If you think you're in the position to give and gain trust from someone you will rarely see or touch, then go ahead with it.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How does he feel?
Posted: 4/3/2014 10:01:11 AM
Thank you so much! You're totally insightful, and right about everything. I feel rushed, I'm just starting to grasp the concept of fleeting time, dreams separating from reality, 21 is a weird age and I'm probably projecting that angst onto this new relationship that I probably shouldn't even be having. I've got a lot to think about. Thanks all of you!! :)
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 8 (view)
 
How does he feel?
Posted: 4/3/2014 8:41:13 AM
Thank you for this :) but a few things:
*he's not my type, no, but I wanted to bang HIM, so I did it.
*he asked me to be his girlfriend, I didn't solicit it, he put the strings on himself.
That's why the confusion. He's not a player, he acted like he was which is part of what turned me on, I was turned off by the sweetness and caring at first but now, no.

I know I have low self esteem, this relationship would not have come into being if I didn't, however HE does not know that, he can't keep himself from hurting my feelings if he doesn't know what they are, but how do I communicate that without coming off as whiny and girly?

No unprotected sex, but it wouldn't be him who would want it. As I said, I am the sex aggressor, he'd never try and sway me in that direction if I didn't want it first.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What did I do?
Posted: 4/3/2014 8:28:34 AM
He's nearly 27, the age difference is negligible and goes unnoticed. If I didn't like him I wouldn't care enough to write this, trust me. He is kind of annoying but I am easily annoyed, he's the least annoying person in my life right now, save for when he does things I don't understand (like the subject of this post) But he apologized for his behavior and I hope we can communicate better in the future....

I am not 'leaking' anything, I have no reason to be dishonest on a forum on the internet, I wouldn't usually come here asking but I am not usually in a position of vulnerability with these things. Most guys would have just taken my bait and never done anything to concern me in the first place!
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What did I do?
Posted: 4/3/2014 7:41:43 AM
I talked to him this morning about it, but it was over text. I don't know if that's a bad thing, but I briefly explained my intentions, he apologized for being defensive and asked if he could drop by my place soon (good sign?), but still hasn't let on to why exactly he reacted that way. Since I have been with him I have tried to help his diet, and we'll be starting up a gym plan soon so I hope that helps. Either way, I'm always left satisfied and he knows this. I'd present my ankle but I think that would exacerbate the issue :) I'm already too amorous! I guess I just need to start working on letting him know I am with him for other reasons as well.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 14 (view)
 
What did I do?
Posted: 4/3/2014 7:25:22 AM
Thank you so much for the detailed reply! Opened my eyes to a lot of my behavior, I wrote this post because I DO like him quite a lot, and I DID genuinely offend him and want to know how not to do it in the future. Like I said, I don't have tons of experience in romantic relationships, so this helps a ton :)
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How does he feel?
Posted: 4/2/2014 11:40:29 PM
that's actually exactly the normal, simple perspective I needed. I love banging him but if he doesn't have feelins...
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 10 (view)
 
What did I do?
Posted: 4/2/2014 11:35:30 PM
Lol it is no such thing, I am as confused as you are. I was prepared for the opposite response. I am an ex-Mormon, yes, and so is he.

For those saying I am hiding something: There isn't any more to reveal. But here are extra details. The whole night before that was charming and wonderful, he literally asked me maybe two days before to just "grab his c**k and tell him to f**k me" whenever I felt the need, so I felt like I was doing the same thing in a less crude, cuter way but he said "I'm not even going to validate that question with an answer", I asked "why?" he said "because it was b*tchy", and so on. I did put a stress on the word "sex" in "can we have sex tonight?" A good chunk of our sexual activity is foreplay, not complaining at ALL, but I just really wanted a good****ng (pardon my language). I tried to explain that I just wanted to have sex and did not mean my question rudely but he got all standoffish and weird and so I got all stressed and got a bloody nose, curled up in a ball while he read some nerdy book and then we had awkward upset sex.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
How does he feel?
Posted: 4/2/2014 9:36:15 PM
I'm not just gonna pull out the discussion the first month of the relationship, not looking to scare him away with my whiny needy heart to hearts.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 7 (view)
 
What did I do?
Posted: 4/2/2014 9:23:41 PM
That's why I am so confused! He's not a rude person, and we did end up sleeping together, so it's not like he didn't want to. I guess I am asking if there is something about what I said that could have been construed as rude? I know he has insecurities, he's diabetic and that affects bloodflow, so most often he just pleasures me. I thought maybe that I specified "sex" may have offended him...I don't know. He's a good guy but communication is not workin'
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 168 (view)
 
Guys- kiss after oral foreplay?
Posted: 4/2/2014 8:01:42 PM
I expect guys to kiss me after they cum too.
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What did I do?
Posted: 4/2/2014 7:58:47 PM
whoops, looks like to you can't be b-i-t-c-h-y here
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What did I do?
Posted: 4/2/2014 7:55:58 PM
I'm a 21 year old female, so I get horny and I have no problem being open about it except when I am actually horny, then I get very shy and suggestive. The guy I am with right now just does it for me. I don't know why, I don't like his looks really, he's kind of annoying but he could touch me on my ankle and I'd melt. He knows this, so when I do my shy horny hinty things he usually catches on and does what he needs to do. When he doesn't, I get so upset. I could cry like the pain is physical. He proposed I be direct, just tell him how I'm feeling and to take care of it. So even though it took s'much courage, one night I say quietly, "can we have sex tonight?" and he gets OFFENDED. Says that was a ****y thing to say and pushes me off of him. I explain that I wasn't trying to be ****y, and he says "well you can be ****y without trying". All I wanted was a lil action from my boyfriend, where did I go wrong?
 knlmdd
Joined: 3/20/2014
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How does he feel?
Posted: 4/2/2014 7:38:30 PM
Help?

He always asks me things like "you really like me, don't you?" to which I obviously reply "yeah" because I kind of do, and I am starting to more, but why can't he just say he really likes me? Does he? I miss him when he is gone, I think about him enough to be writing this novel, so I obviously have feelings and don't want to display them fully until I know how he feels. However, it's only been a month and I don't feel like we're at the place where we can have a feelings talk, and it's not really my thing anyway.

Some background: I am serious about him now but a big issue is that the relationship started as a friends with benefits situation. He isn't really my type physically or otherwise but he is the best I've ever had and I can't just let that go. I just rode that train until like a week ago when I realized I may actually have feelings for him. I would get jealous while we were FWB and was glad when he asked me to be his girlfriend, but only because I don't like sharing my things. Now I feel like I want to do things for him and make him happy and it's making me really uncomfortable.

When we were FWB he would hold my hand in public, invited me over to hang out with his friends, family, but then tell me over dinner about his encounters with random girls. We both said we were into open relationships, but he asked for exclusivity when we officiated the 'ship. So......idk. Sometimes I want to ask if he still wants an open ship but I really don't want to have any serious talks. I just don't understand why would he would be making out with some random if he wanted to start something with me.

Even more confusion comes in the first weeks. I was trying to be cool, but suddenly, he goes from "ah I love open relationships" to "I'm gonna kill everyone who has ever touched you". I am sleeping over 4x a week, he's asking me to leave things there, pet names, "we should get a place", poems, customized all-day dates. He invited me to meet his parents and is proposing double dates with his married friends. Then one morning he will wake up and be of so few words and so little touch I fear I've said something awfully offensive in my sleep. I sort of want to leave him because I hate having mysterious feelings for people, but every time I decide I will he does something that makes me happy and want more, but I don't know where this is going, and that bothers me.
 
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