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 Author Thread: Asperger's Syndrome
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
 
Asperger's Syndrome
Posted: 9/24/2009 5:05:57 PM

Aspergers(not autisum) isn't real, it comes from inexperience in social interaction, perhaps when the person is shy when they are young they don't learn how to interact like an average person. You can heal yourself from aspergers by realizing and changing the aspects that make you awkward and getting confidence by being in and getting experience in social situations that make you uncomfortable.

Trust me I know, my words have more meaning behind them than you think...

You're under the mistaken assumption that Aspergers is only a matter of of socializing. How does one "heal" their heightened sensibilities? How does one stop having "special" interests? I've done lots of socializing, I'm not shy, but I still don't talk to people 'just because'. I pretty much only talk if I need to request information of some sort from a person or provide it. If I'm at a party and there's a hot girl there, I probably won't say anything to her. It's not because I'm shy, but rather because there usually isn't anything contextually interesting worth talking about.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Asperger's Syndrome
Posted: 9/23/2009 9:31:31 PM
Personally, I hate having Asperger's. I don't like being lonely, but I don't like being around most people. My problem is simply that I don't meet people. Having Asperger's means I put things and information on a higher level of priority than people. I can't help it, that's just how my brain works. Therefore, it makes it very hard for me to meet people or make small talk with a person to get to know them. Unless there's something contextually interesting worth talking about, I keep quiet. A lot of people think I'm shy because of this, but I'm definitely not shy. I just don't know what to say as small talk is pretty much torture for me.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:02:44 PM
I wouldn't mind just in and of itself. However, if I was in a relationship with her, I'd still want it to be exclusive. Whether she sleeps with another man or a woman, I'd view it as cheating on me as long as we were together.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
A question for you serious-minded men...
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:12:25 PM
I would prefer an intelligent woman.
 Irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Falafel
Posted: 7/2/2009 3:36:06 AM
* 1 (15 ounce) can chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained
* 1 onion, chopped
* 1/2 cup fresh parsley
* 2 cloves garlic, chopped
* 1 egg
* 2 teaspoons ground cumin
* 1 teaspoon ground coriander
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 dash pepper
* 1 pinch cayenne pepper
* 1 teaspoon lemon juice
* 1 teaspoon baking powder
* 1 tablespoon olive oil
* 1 cup dry bread crumbs
* oil for frying
*
* 1 (6 ounce) container plain yogurt
* 1/2 cucumber - peeled, seeded, and finely chopped
* 1 teaspoon dried dill weed
* salt and pepper to taste
* 1 tablespoon mayonnaise

1. In a large bowl mash chickpeas until thick and pasty; don't use a blender, as the consistency will be too thin. In a blender, process onion, parsley and garlic until smooth. Stir into mashed chickpeas.
2. In a small bowl combine egg, cumin, coriander, salt, pepper, cayenne, lemon juice and baking powder. Stir into chickpea mixture along with olive oil. Slowly add bread crumbs until mixture is not sticky but will hold together; add more or less bread crumbs, as needed. Form 8 balls and then flatten into patties.
3. Heat 1 inch of oil in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Fry patties in hot oil until brown on both sides.
4. In a small bowl combine yogurt, cucumber, dill, salt, pepper and mayonnaise. Chill for at least 30 minutes.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Falafel
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:24:43 PM
I'll have to post the recipe I use. I make delicious falafels and homemade tzatziki sauce.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
What the heck are grits?
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:23:05 PM
I've never been to the south, but I make a killer pot of shrimp and grits :)
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 44 (view)
 
WOMEN: What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 6/30/2009 8:12:18 PM
Being tall for a guy is kind of a pain. I'm 6'6" and find it definitely limits the women I'd date. I'd find it hard to date someone under 5'5". At my brother's wedding, I was the best man and the made of honor was 5' even. When I walked her down the aisle after the ceremony, the photographer took our picture and it's just funny. She's only a few years younger than me, but it looked like I'm walking my little kid sister down or something.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 237 (view)
 
If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?
Posted: 6/30/2009 4:58:01 PM

If you're single and not dating, what's your reason?

I don't know anyone I want to date and don't have a viable way to meet people.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
introvert
Posted: 6/27/2009 7:11:16 PM
I'm not shy either, but I don't like talking unless there's something actually relevant and interesting worth talking about. When talking, the subject of the conversation is what's important (to me), not necessarily the person I'm talking to.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Loners vs. lonely
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:49:34 PM
This is where my Asperger's condition is really painful. I'm pretty lonely, but I'm also a loner. I very much like hanging out with people I know really well, as long as there's a specified reason for the gathering, if not, I'll probably be very bored. Put me in a room with a few of my friends and acquaintances, with nothing to do other than talk and I'll be bored to tears.

On the other hand, I don't like meeting new people just for the sake of it. I don't enjoy talking to random strangers unless I've observed something about them that would make for an interesting conversation (I detest smalltalk). I used to have a decent amount of friends and acquaintances, but over the last couple of years, a number of them have moved away or gotten married and don't have time to do stuff with their one, single friend anymore. So, my life basically consists of going to work and coming home.
 Irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Where are all the WASHINTONIANS┬┐
Posted: 6/4/2009 6:35:20 PM
Burien native here.
 Irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
bbq food tips
Posted: 6/4/2009 6:33:20 PM
For chicken or pork, make sure to brine it for a few hours before you cook it.

For red meat, try to get it down to room temp before putting it on the grill. It will cook much more evenly.
 Irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What motivated you to follow your present career/profession?
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:44:40 PM
For me, it was simply because I couldn't think of anything better to do.
 Irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 82 (view)
 
Can a person with Asperger's find love and true understanding?
Posted: 2/22/2009 8:00:41 PM

Stop making excuses and feeling sorry for yourself. I find it extremely hard to believe that you have no interests that could be focused into a career of some sort.
I'm not, I'm just stating it the way I see it. If you or anyone else has suggestions, I'm always open to advice. My major interests include:

Playing board games. Strategy/war/euro/etc.
Watching good TV/Movies
Playing video games
Sport fishing (mainly salmon and steelhead)
 Irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Can a person with Asperger's find love and true understanding?
Posted: 2/20/2009 1:52:32 AM
It seems that the people who's "Aspie Interests" help them with their careers are the ones who don't want a cure or change. My interests are not conducive to a career at all and I have not been able to find a work around.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Can a person with Asperger's find love and true understanding?
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:21:51 PM

While it would be easy and convenient for it to go away... I don't believe it would be the key to happiness. Happiness is found by liking yourself and who you are and having confidence in that. If you'd stop feeling uncomfortable with who you were and embrace the good things about yourself you might find the situation to be a little different. Asperger's does not make people sad, the people around you that criticize you and make you feel like a outcast do. Get rid of those people in your life.
That's good advice for someone who is depressed, but that's not me. Aspergers doesn't make me "sad" per se. It does limit a lot of aspects of my life. I blame Aspergers for the fact that I've never had a girlfriend. I can't do small talk. I hate it. I detest it. I can't even begin to describe how stupid I think small talk is. With that in mind, how is one supposed to meet people, women in particular?

Because of Aspergers, my interests are very focused and limited. I have a number of hobbies but they are pretty much solo activities. The few social hobbies/interests I do have aren't, in anyway, conducive to meeting women.

It also vastly limits my career and earning options. None of my special interests can be applied to any kind of career and I have a very, very hard time focusing on and learning things that I find extremely boring. I currently have an entry level IT position and don't really see myself advancing because I'm unable to learn the skills to advance and because I have a college degree that pretty much only applies to that field, my chances of landing a well paying job in a different field, especially with the economy the way it is, are slim to none. Yes, I am thankful to have the job I do, however.

Then there's the hypersensitivities. I hate having to wear sunglasses whenever I go outside during the day. You get a lot of weird looks when it's raining and overcast and you're walking around with dark sunglasses on because even that kind of light will give you a bad headache. This also relates to potential jobs/careers because dress shirts and their collars feel like the roughest sandpaper on my skin. I doubt I could ever work at a job that requires a suit to be worn on a daily basis.

All that and I haven't even touched on the common social problems yet . . .
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Can a person with Asperger's find love and true understanding?
Posted: 2/17/2009 10:36:41 PM


Really, Aspergers Syndrome is a great thing, I think. I couldn't imagine a life without it, nor would I want to. I pride myself on my ability to fix anything I want and identify a type of diesel locomotive from nearly a thousand feet away. But, yes, it is hard to accept people who can appreciate this.

That depends on where you're at on the spectrum. I'd give almost anything to have my Aspergers "cured". It keeps me from being happy and limits just about every facet of my life.
 Irish . . . Seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Being Single during the Holidays
Posted: 12/29/2008 3:52:57 PM
After 30 years, you get used to it.
 Irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Asperger's - Social Deficits - Looking for Techniques
Posted: 11/26/2008 8:34:32 PM

egregation is Not the answer = for Anyone! sheesh. Aspies aren't mutants. We DO belong in the mainstream. Once most of us are of dating age, most of 'you' wouldn't know we were 'aspies' .. you'd just think we were Really smart. That can sometimes threaten 'normies', but those normies who are smart enough see it as an asset.

This thread is about "looking for techniques' that are Beneficial in improving Socialization Skills. While there may be a Few who would benefit from an Exclusive to Aspies dating site, I can promise you that "they" (We) are waaaaaay ahead of you on pretty much anything computer/internet and/or Dating site related.

I just can't imagine how it would be received if Anyone suggested a "separate dating site specifically for you" to any other group of people. Perhaps your intentions were good, maybe you honestly thought 'we' didn't know, but then that would suggest you don't know about aspergers and you did say you had a son with it.. right?

Everyone - Aspie/norm .. whatever = Everyone needs - Love and Acceptance. That might be a really good first step in 'attempting' to socialize Anyone ..

We are all, Every one of us; Unique (in some way), Special (because we are) and Lovable.

There are all kinds of wonderful Aspergers support and information sites that are helpful. As far as dating sites go = this one is just fine thank you! I'm staying right where I am. Thanks anyway.

Everyone should have an aspie in their life.. oh yeah, you probly do!!!

A.S.is
nothing to be afraid of

As an Aspie myself, I would definitely like to use a site like Aspie Affection because I'd rather date a fellow Aspie than a NT. I've dated normal, NT girls before and couldn't handle it. They wanted to talk far more than I did, even when they had nothing to say or ask, they wanted to hang out with various groups of people rather than small, quiet gatherings, etc. I'd rather date someone who's temperament was similar to my own.
 Irish . . . Seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
ADD UP YOUR FINE!!
Posted: 9/7/2008 3:25:09 PM
I'm at $105 so far.
 Irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
It looks like McCain's VP pick is................................
Posted: 8/29/2008 9:42:30 AM
Palin is a very dangerous pick for Obama's chances. She undermines the argument that McCain is more of the same, especially when matched up with Biden who is just as much of an insider. She undermines the argument that McCain can't bring change. And she puts an ordinary, working mom one heart beat away from the presidency, which is a huge draw for a massive chunk of the moderates and independents that supported HRC.

Biden is now muzzled to a large extent. Considering how much the Obama camp has been accused of misogyny during the primaries, Biden can't be seen to be "beating up" or eviscerating a new mom with a young down syndrome infant to care for. It would inflame the PUMAs and other HRC crowds.

This was a brilliant strategic move by McCain. It cuts the legs out from under one of Obama's main messages, forces Biden to either be muzzled or be a liability and reaches out to the HRC disenfranchised supporters (of which there are still millions).
 Irish . . . Seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 174 (view)
 
Time to come clean: What keeps you from meeting someone?
Posted: 8/14/2008 3:40:02 PM
Having Asperger's makes it very hard
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
ladies- introverted men?
Posted: 7/27/2008 11:03:02 PM
Here are my results:

# very expressed introvert
# slightly expressed sensing personality
# distinctively expressed thinking personality
# slightly expressed judging personality
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Can a person with Asperger's find love and true understanding?
Posted: 7/22/2008 9:30:23 PM
I think I may have to see if I have this condition. I've always just considered myself a "hardcore" introvert, but this knowledge brings new possibilities to the table. I definitely prefer my solitude and only hang out with people I consider very close friends. I don't date, the whole process generally seems unappealing. I'm not close with my family. In fact, when my grandfather died last year, I didn't feel sad at all. I felt bad because I didn't feel sad and I can't say that I honestly love anyone.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
What one flaw would you NOT want your potential mate to have???
Posted: 7/21/2008 10:34:27 PM
They can't like rap music
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Feeling Lonely?
Posted: 6/9/2008 7:32:56 PM
I don't feel lonely so much as I do boredom. All I need is something interesting to engage my mind. Whether I'm by myself or with people, it doesn't matter.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 53 (view)
 
What's really stopping you from having a successful relationship?
Posted: 6/9/2008 6:46:47 PM
The biggest road block for me is simply meeting people. I don't like small talk, I don't like irrelevant conversations, etc. The friends I do have, I made at various events centered around my interests. I enjoy fishing so I go to a fishing club and met people there. Unfortunately, there are no women. I enjoy strategy board games and we have a group that gets together once a month (at least) to play. Again, no women come to these. I love movies and go with my friends quite a bit. Unfortunately, it's hard to meet women AT a movie. There are also no available women in my martial arts class.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Is it legitimate for bishops and priests to deny . . . ?
Posted: 6/5/2008 10:05:41 PM
By my understanding, voting for a pro abortion candidate when a pro life candidate is available is a mortal sin. Since abortion is intrinsically evil it is sort of at the top of the list of priorities according to the church when it comes to voting. I could be wrong, but I don't think so.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Cigars....??
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:48:59 PM
I enjoy a good cigar a few times a week. Rocky Patel is probably my favorite brand. I have a few Vintage 1990s and Sungrowns in my humidor right now. :) I find it odd that so many people are claiming the smell of cigars sticks around and is worse than cigarettes. Because cigarettes have more chemicals in them, the smell lasts a lot longer than with cigars.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
 
Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 6/5/2008 9:41:47 PM

Irish,

Just because you are up against your wall, does not mean that you should retreat.

We are all born with strengths and weaknesses, and none of it is etched in concrete..

If you label yourself 'hardcore' anything, you sentence yourself to a prison of your own making.

Look for a safe place to begin to 'come out'.

Begin with just an intention that you will draw one to you.

Maybe it's therapy,..maybe a men's group, maybe a class of some sort that interests you.

I suspect you CAN have it all.

You just have to muster the courage to confront your perceived limitations


J.

Check out post 277

I don't view being a hardcore introvert as being a prison. I was merely using the word to emphasize my somewhat unique situation. Some people are introverts but they still enjoy social gatherings to some extent. Some people are pretty much right in the middle between extroversion and introversion. I happen to be very far on the introvert side. I don't consider myself shy or afraid to meet people, far from it. I just don't enjoy it. Like the guy said in the original post, I fill my life with things and activities that I really enjoy. It just happens that none of them are conducive to meeting women and I'm fine with that. I don't feel sorry for myself or expect other people to. I just don't see the point in doing things or participating in activities I don't like or that don't appeal to me for the purpose of meeting people.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 74 (view)
 
Is this a new social phenomenon???
Posted: 6/3/2008 10:07:08 PM
I'm 29 and pretty much agree with the OP. I'm not shy, I'm just a very "hardcore" introvert. Dating is very, very difficult for me, mainly because I don't enjoy talking. If the subject of a conversation is one that interests and I feel I can absorb and contribute relevant information, that's one thing, but being put in a situation that requires small talk is absolute torture. Plus, when dating, both people (usually) are trying to get to know the "real" other person, however, both people put up fronts to try to impress the other person making it that much harder to actually get to know them.

I would love to have a meaningful relationship with a woman, but I don't know how to get there without playing the dating game and I find that game extremely boring and tiresome.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Lawyer who convicted Manson wants GWB charged with mass murder.
Posted: 5/29/2008 8:09:56 PM

The UN had investigated Iraq found no WMD and I don't think the rest of the world believed otherwise.If they did you would have had a lot more support and the potential for a legal "war"

The initial coalition consisted of 49 nations. A couple have asked to be removed from the list, mainly Costa Rica and Turkey, but by any standard, that's a lot of support or at least, agreement.

Also, the UN Security Council voted unanimously on Resolution 1441 which required the disarmament of Iraq. Why would the entire Security Council approve a resolution that they knew was based on a false pretense?
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 44 (view)
 
Lawyer who convicted Manson wants GWB charged with mass murder.
Posted: 5/28/2008 11:02:59 PM

How can your Commander in Chief flat out lie about taking your country into war and not be held accoutable?

So you don't believe there's any difference between lying (intentionally misstating the truth) and being misinformed? The idea that Bush was the first person to believe that Iraq had WMDs is laughable. Nearly the entire world believed it and the only major powers that were against going to war were against it because of the money they would lose.


How can his second in command more or less steal tax dollars right from your coffers and not be held accoutable? Chenny's stocks in Haliburton have gone through the roof since the Iraq invasion, do you really think that is coincidence?

Haliburton has been doing this kind of work for many, many years. It doesn't matter if the VP or anyone else gets rich off this as long as Haliburton can do the job better than anyone else.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Lawyer who convicted Manson wants GWB charged with mass murder.
Posted: 5/27/2008 11:27:39 PM


Absolutely. I am kind of baffled as to why this has not happened.

My guess would be that anyone who takes their emotional dislike of the the president out of the picture would realize they would have no case.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Feel free to review my profile
Posted: 5/22/2008 5:54:13 PM
I'm just trying to find out what the general public thinks of my profile. I realize I don't have many pics at the moment and that is something that I will change as I obtain more pics. That's the biggest problem of being the photographer at most events. Anyways, let me know what you guys and gals think.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
REGISTER????? AGAIN????
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:53:39 PM
That doesn't help me. When I log back in, I still get the registration page when trying to view a profile.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:50:01 PM
I just believe that you can learn more meaningful information about a person at a half hour date at a coffee house than you can over a dozen plus emails spanned over weeks.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 5/14/2008 9:28:35 PM
Why should dating/meeting online be any different than real life? If you're at a bar/club/grocery store/ etc and someone comes over and shows interest in you, would you at least talk to them face to face or would you just give them your email address and tell them they have to email you for weeks before you'll continue to talk to them face to face?

In the olden days, before the Internet, people would meet, exchange numbers, and then go out after a call or two. Now, people want to prolong it for days, weeks or even months sending impersonal emails. Being a guy who's looking to build a relationship, I know the building process doesn't begin until you meet in real life.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
He only calls for dates..no chit chat
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:10:45 PM
Maybe he's an introvert who doesn't enjoy smalltalk. That's how I am pretty much. I really only want to talk if I need to request or provide information. Making small talk about a subject that is meaningless and/or uninteresting is hell for an introvert.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Any reason Tall guys gravate to short girls???
Posted: 5/4/2008 9:03:08 PM
I think it might come down to supply and demand. I'm a tall guy at 6'6" and am more attracted to taller women, but single, attractive, tall women are a rare and prized commodity. I date more short (compared to me, almost anyone is short) women than tall for that reason.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Certain topics are so emotionally upsetting to guys.
Posted: 5/4/2008 8:00:02 PM
They're important issues. The only way I would get upset talking about them is if I'm talking to a woman who I'm interested in, who came off sounding like an idiot when it comes to important issues. My interest in her would be dead.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 168 (view)
 
Can YOU cook?
Posted: 5/4/2008 7:57:02 PM
I'm a great cook. Grilling and BBQing is my specialty. I can smoke/BBQ a steak that would be sold for big bux at a classy steakhouse. I also do some Asian cooking, mainly Chinese and East Indian.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
 
What's with the hatred of video games?
Posted: 5/2/2008 3:22:55 AM
It seems this is just turning into an extrovert vs introvert battle. Extroverts might play video games in short bursts and not really get drawn into them, but there's nothing wrong with those who do. As an introvert myself, I thank God for video games because I'd be bored out of my mind without them. Yes, I hang out with friends and see people, but it's just not something I want to do on a day to day basis.

It's not the video games' fault I don't want to spend the majority of my time with other people. The video game is not the cause. I just think it's sad to see so many extroverts trying to enforce their standards on everyone else.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Introverted
Posted: 5/1/2008 11:44:58 PM
I'm not shy. I just find talking boring. Unless I have something relevant to say or information to pass on, I'll usually keep quiet.
 irish . . . seriously
Joined: 4/7/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Do Introverted / Indoorsy Women Go On Dating Sites ?
Posted: 5/1/2008 11:38:13 PM
I'm in the same boat. I'm the most introverted person I know so I don't even bother with trying to find a date or relationship. If it happens, great, but I don't think it's worth all the stuff a hardliner introvert would have to go through.
 
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