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 Author Thread: Decoding the Female Language
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 272 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/16/2009 11:26:10 AM
I'm thinking that the odds of being rejected or accepted are 50/50 anyway right.
The odds of long term success is outweighed by merely being yourself. Yes, with confidence and without a lot of baggage.

this is a whole 'nother topic but in response: it all depends on the guy. I for instance, (especially online lol) get rejected 99 times out of 100. A buddy of mine gets rejected 1 out of every 1,000. (this happens in real life too).

Yes, he exudes confidence but if they knew the real him? They'd run for the hills.....(he's got more baggage than air canada lol)

Actually, maybe you just gave me a revelation: he NEEDS a woman, a LOT of women, he can't function without a woman in his life. I don't need a woman, I WANT a woman. That's a big difference.........hmmmmm gonna think on this......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
Women with women
Posted: 9/16/2009 10:29:31 AM

I'm totally against women having sex or marrying other women. I think that is totally sick.

That being said.......if women want to be snuggle buddies......need to comfort kiss each other or even lay on each other's breasts.....It's ok by me...

Men don't do these things however...unless they are queerer than a $3 bill.

Women can get away with's a motherly/sisterly type of thing....women need allot of affection...and hey they are just snugable.

......I just don't want to know or even see any dykes going after each other gonads or giving each other sloppy tongue kissing.

Actually I wouldn't want to see a woman going after another woman's ovaries either....(since they are what produces gametes in women)......that would be a little too disturbing.

But furthermore, the rest of your post is VERY neanderthal. Wake up, it's the 21st century, whatever 2 consenting adults do to please one another is totally acceptable.

To the OP:

If you're dating someone you should be open about your bi-sexuality. This could lead to a conversation about whether being with a woman while involved with a man is cheating (that's another thread around here somewhere).

Whatever floats your boat I say (or your MAN in the boat lol). I mean, it doubles your chances of getting a date for saturday night doesn't it? lol.

But it kinda reminds me of an old saying:
60% of women say they've had some sort of bi-sexual experience
20% of women say they will never have some sort of bi-sexual experience
20% say they just haven't gotten drunk enough yet lol.....
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 270 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/16/2009 8:59:37 AM

Some men like to play the "equality" card only because it has worked for them in the past. Nothing more delightful than challenging a feminist with that card to get her to do what he wants.

what? huh? get them to do what WE want? WTH you talkin' about willis?

Card? It isn't a card. It's a god given RIGHT (at least in this country) and it is a fact. It isn't an option to be equal in some areas and not in others. As a comedian once stated: Equality isn't a buffet where you can pick and choose what you want and leave out/ignore the parts you don't.

As for the poster who said they didn't want equality, I suggest you watch a couple of episodes of the series Mad Men and see how women were treated in the early '60s. I seriously don't think you would want that. For eg: This week's episode a "wife" was having a baby. She wanted her husband present and she was forceably restrained and drugged out so she'd settle down......if you seriously want that I suggest you move to the UAE etc where you can go back to being treated like property........
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
Who put the pin in the balloon?!
Posted: 9/15/2009 1:56:11 PM

I been there. Both with a guy with reverse Madonna syndrome (I WASN'T his ex wife)

Reverse Madonna? Is that like someone who DOES like her old stuff as opposed to her New????
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 263 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/15/2009 8:21:25 AM
WIP??? I don't believe your a$$ is big, I bet one could bounce quarters off it! lol

(just thought I'd throw that out there hehehee)
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
In Search of Dudes' Opinions
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:35:37 AM
BP: that's a good point. If the "encounter" is purely physical, who cares? But if it is with someone you care about and want a relationship with, then the rules are different.

this reminds me of that old adage about discussing sexual partners with a new flame. WHen you ask a woman how many guys she's been with, double the number. When you ask a guy? Half the number
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 261 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 9/15/2009 7:33:29 AM

Now we're getting to the nitty gritty. Women have been screaming for equality for, forever. Now - exactly how much equality do you really want? If you want it all, you're going to have to get used to rejection just like the guys.

LOL I can't believe this thread is STILL going on...sheesh......and bluesman?

Save your breath. It is rare to find a woman who wants to be equal in ALL areas and in the dating scene? For the most part they totally reject the idea of equality......

BTW: was it ever determined what playing with her hair means????
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 68 (view)
Men help me with Fellatio?? tips???
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:51:44 AM
I honestly didn't read the 3 pages of responses but there is another thread on here about guys not liking BJs. Not all do. Don't be disappointed if your guy doesn't. Some of us just aren't into it........
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
In Search of Dudes' Opinions
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:49:04 AM

I wouldn't so much want to know what she's already done as I'd want to know what she'd like to do with me

Yeah, what he said ^^^^^^. I don't know of anyone who likes all the gorey details about others who have been with her. Just tell em what you like, don't like, and what you like to do with him. As discussed in another thread, don't come out with a shopping list, as things progress whisper suggestions in his ear.......or guide him with your hands, or whatever.....
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
Who put the pin in the balloon?!
Posted: 9/15/2009 6:40:12 AM
Viagra ? Never taken any, but might not be a bad idea to keep some on hand anyway. It could have some interesting implications. But she might refuse to ever date U again. Getting fecked for 3hrs straight, could cause some femme's to flee. And what else are U going to do with it for 3 hrs, other than hang a wet towel from the end of that badboy ?

if you use V or any other ED drug and you have a boner for 3 hrs, you should be heading to the hospital. That's borderline priaprism and could cause permanant damage to your "member". How ED drugs work is they control these tiny valves in the arteries supplying blood to the affected area. The ED drugs manipulate the valves to allow blood in, but limit its release back into the body. If the valves don't open to allow the blood to flow out, cell death can occur.

To the op: this isn't only a male problem. There have been a LOT of times when the woman I'm with is "intellectually" ready, and she wants to, but her body isn't responding.

The thing about ED drugs (and it depends on where you live of course) but they are available free from your family doctor, or from a clinic. Drug companies give away MILLIONS and MILLIONS of free samples to doctors to hand out to patients to get them to try it. So for any guy going out on a first date where the "act" might be on the agenda, putting a tab next to the condom isn't a bad idea.

I was watching a doc on the porn industry once and a director said this: To get a boner, takes blood. If you're thinking too much, the blood is flowing through your BIG head not the little one. Stop thinking so much. If you need help? Pop a tab and you'll be good to go.

Plus (as stated) go down on her. Any mature adult realizes that if you see her again, and have sex with her again, sometimes it will be all about her, sometimes all about you, and hopefully, all about both of you.

Another thing to remember: sex doesn't begin or end with the pen!s!!!!

But as for any woman who would belittle a man because this happens, she isn't worth anyone's time. IMO she's a shallow, self centered idiot and should be unceremoniously kicked to the curb so fast her feet wouldn't hit the floor.
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 210 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/28/2009 10:35:23 AM
I know this is a little off topic but:

<div class="quote"> BUT...The reason why most women don't some up to a man and say " I like you you are a really nice guy" or "you are handsome"
Well for different reasons, here are some.
I'm a fat chick, so that should say that.
You are looking at someone else, that they don't think they match up to.
They don't think they are your type.
These 3 things being said I have been asked out by some really good looking guys, any girl in the place would have said yes to in a heartbeat, I wouldn't of come up to them,
I thought I didn't measure up.
They don't like to make the "1st" move so to speak.
They don't want to be rejected, meaning put themselves out there.
THey are shy.
They just doon't know how to tell you.
They don't want you to think they are being to aggressive.
Or that they do that w/ everyone.

So, basically you are correct. But the thing is: many women won't make the first move or openly communicate their intentions but will discard, chatise, look down upon, insult, and call unmanly, any man who doesn't make the first move for those very same reasons. I realize that many will have different versions of the above, but I feel the number one reason why women don't openly state their interest in a guy is because they really couldn't face the rejection. If they give hints or suggestions they can always fall back on: he doesn't get my way of communicating so I don't want him...when it is really: he gets it just doesn't want to have anything to do with her lol

As I've said in the past: most of my male friends (for some reason) have been real lady killers aka players and having gotten to know them very well, they are the worst for all those reasons, they just bury it deep. Most are too insecure to be alone for any length of time. I know one in particular whom I bet he couldn't go two months without a date, he said two months? I couldn't go a month......or a week for that matter.

See, the guy who is standing there, eyeballing the crowd and not hitting on everything in sight? He's secure in himself enough to know that he doesn't NEED a woman by his side.......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 193 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/27/2009 11:47:38 AM
Unless you're living beside every woman on POF in your real life - I wonder how it is you'd know HOW the women on POF communicate differently in real life, are you somehow capable of being everywhere at everypoint in time, and listening in on every conversation that every woman on POF has in her real life?

Hmmm if you read my post it specifically says

(funny though, all the women on here who flatly refuse to try and communicate differently in real life, have no problem openly communicating here......ever wonder why that is????)

I never once said ALL women, please, stop putting words in my mouth. I specifically said: all the women on here who flatly refuse to try and communicate differently. Not all women, just the ones who refuse to communicate differently.

Just like as if I said "all the brunettes on here have brown hair".

How do I know they can openly communicate here but not in real life? BECAUSE they SAY so....So, either I am correct, or they're lying.

I don't have to be god to know this, just have deductive reasoning.

When she sees a guy she likes she will do the hints, but she does not want to come across as if she is the one approaching because she doesn't want to be seen as easy, and she wants the type of male that is willing to take a risk and pursue.

So much for the sexual revolution lol.....

btw: was I too vague? Not specific enough for ya? I thought that's how you wanted to communicate???
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 191 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/27/2009 10:41:54 AM

Actually, I do see you and rentahusband and abelian and others being really condescending towards women that are different than the women you find attractive.

I don't think I was condescending at all. Just maybe disbelief that someone would openly choose to communicate in a manner that many won't understand. What is even more unbelieveable is to not only choose that method, but then to blame the person who "doesn't get it".

But hey, they're not condescending or insulting towards men, because, hey they're women!

Bottom line is: if you want to be understood, COMMUNICATE. Meet us halfway.......we'll try to read the "signs" if you make them more easy to read.


Problem solved.


(funny though, all the women on here who flatly refuse to try and communicate differently in real life, have no problem openly communicating here......ever wonder why that is????)
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 185 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:33:36 AM
^^^^ and she promised not to post here anymore? Damn....thought we were done!

Anyhow, yet another example of miscommunication. The poster did not ever say he "wasn't interested" in what you had to say, he said

A woman flirting, in lieu of saying anything meaningful, is the same to us as the "compliment guy" is to you

Notice the word MEANINGFUL in there? That means we find a woman who has something to say, INTERESTING.

I don't think the poster said anything about any particular topic. Heck, if a woman is passionate about shoes, I would find listening to her talk about her jimmy choos better than talking about the weather......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 184 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/27/2009 8:26:12 AM

I strictly gave an example of how I might flirt with a man and basically, I said I would talk, smile, if I sensed (not as difficult to do as the men claim) he might be interested in me, I might ask him to join my friends and I on a Thurday night at at a local pub.

I would decline an invitation like this.
If I was interested in a woman, I'd want to be alone with her so I could get to know her better.

instead of directly saying something like this: Hey, I like you, would you like to go out with me on Thursay night?

That invitation would be exponentially more interesting, and my enthusiasm would be much more as well.

Exactly. Or how about a combination of both?

Hey I like you, would you like to go out with me this thursday night?

If he says "yes, what did you have in mind"?

Well my friends and I usually go to PUB X how does that sound?

OMG open communication.....

There, you put forth all the ideas a woman has about going out with him, when, where, with whom.

Now I know many women tend to like meeting a guy for the first time in a safe environment. (ie: with friends) but a good alternative might be: meet for dinner first THEN go meet the friends at the pub.

See, the thing about these 20 pages is that the women who don't want to openly communicate, I think, it is because if they did, and the guy shot them down, they'd feel rejection. Since they use their "womanly whyles" and the guy doesn't pick up on them, it's HIS fault not hers.

I also think that the "if the woman asks, she will be considered a slut". That's a cop out. If a woman said to a guy "hey, let's go F in the men's bathroom" yeah, that's a slut. If a woman says "hey, would you like to go out tomorrow around noon for a coffee"? No one (except for maybe some backwoods hillbillys) would consider that in any way sluttish......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
What do you do in this situation.. Curious what people think
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:33:09 PM
I'm not really up for revenge or anything like that but here's what you COULD do if you were so inclined:

If she calls to confirm the party tell her it's a formal so she has to dress nice. Now if she's like any of the women I know she'll spend hours getting ready, shaving, doing her hair, makeup etc.

Then 1/2 hr before you are to pick her up, tell her that you changed your mind, you're going hold the phone away from your ear because she's gonna blow a gasket lol).
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
How to cope with missing partner?
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:27:03 PM
When I saw the title of the thread I was thinking:

Go to customer service and have him paged.....

Either that or wait for him at the car, he'll show up eventually lol....
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
What would you think/do if...
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:24:14 PM
Yup, I'm with the overwelming majority and say: this is the tackiest thing she could have done.

I would have a good long hard talk with her and find out wtf was she thinking and this act is a BIG indicator of what your life could be like with her....

Change her mind? The classy thing to do would have been to SUCK IT UP and accept the ring, and your proposal as given.

I have to wonder if she contemplated having you re-do the proposal as know "you didn't say it the way I wanted, so please try again, only this time, do it this way, say this, get down on one knee" etc.
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 46 (view)
Posted: 8/26/2009 12:02:31 PM
"Well, the OP CAN keep her boyfriend and have sex with women as long as she's willing to accept that he can have sex with other women too."
And from where does THAT follow?

It does not. And if you want to apply liberal equality PC crap logic, he would only be allowed to have sex with guys (same sex).

That doesn't make sense: from where does WHAT follow WHAT?

It doesn't follow anything. There are many MANY couples who have open relationships which allow either and both partners to have sex with people outside of the relationship.

Just because they no longer do it behind closed doors doesn't make it wrong, just different.

If you like kissing girls then you're a lesbian. Look for women and don't waste men's time.

Sorry, no it doesn't. If she wants to have sex with men and/or women, kiss men and or women, that makes her BI-sexual.

If she was a lesbian she wouldn't have anything to do (sexually) with men.....

Same sex marriages/relationships
Open relationships/marriages
Blended familes

It is all about whatever works for two people. Who are we to judge what's right or wrong?
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
Posted: 8/26/2009 11:13:29 AM
Well, the OP CAN keep her boyfriend and have sex with women as long as she's willing to accept that he can have sex with other women too.

There are many dynamic relationships where each gets to play outside the relationship.

But, on a more humorous note, you know there are three types of women?
1) Those who have had a bi-sexual encounter
2) Those who won't have a bi-sexual encounter
3) Those who just haven't had enough to drink yet......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
My Best Friend's Girl
Posted: 8/23/2009 9:27:57 PM
I used to think it was because it made them happy, and when people around me are happy, I'm happy.

Not that I'm a licence trained therapist or anything but from what I know, what you just said is almost the clinical definition of co-dependency. Relying on someone's else's feelings in order for you to feel the same?

As stated, you should NOT be in any sort of a relationship right now. What you're doing with the friend in front of your boyfriend is just cruel.......

And I don't believe you can be with someone and never be attracted to anyone else, that's silly. People are beautiful creatures. I would just like to understand how to flatline this thing while I can...

How shallow of you. Yes, you can be attracted to other people but that doesnt' mean you have to act on that attraction. Kind of like cars: just because you would LIKE to drive an aston martin doesn't mean you should neglect the car you own......

Sorry, you have a LOT of maturing to do before you get involved with anyone beyond a casual fling.....
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
Do people *really* believe there is only one right one ?
Posted: 8/23/2009 10:48:39 AM
Yes, there is one right one and I hope you're lucky enough to find her like I did

HER? Does this new guy in your life mind you having a girlfriend too? hehehehe

From the sounds of it there isn't just ONE fer you, there's TWO heheheh

(sorry, I couldn't resist, I saw that and it screamed at me: say sumthin say sumthin you GOTTA say sumthin' lol)

(now please excuse me while I hide under my desk cuz sans is gonna throw something at me, I just know it lol)
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 29 (view)
Do people *really* believe there is only one right one ?
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:50:52 AM
I want to start off by saying: I thought NEO was "THE ONE"?

Guess the rest of us are pretty well screwed then lol.

More seriously though:

I have noted that of all the men I've loved (and I've loved a few...rowr ;-)) I have NEVER loved any of them the way I FIRST loved. Does that make sense?

I think Miss Comp nailed it. There are all kinds of different "the ones". Everyone (hopefully) learns and grows and loves different people differently throughout their lives. I think any time someone meets someone the way they love that person (or not) is different.

Thinking that your first love can never be repeated is bang on. Because it is your "first" you'll never have a first again. Kind of like sex: once you lose your virginity, you are never a virgin again.

Frankly I don't believe in the theory of "soul mate/the one". I have deeply loved 3 different women in my life (and really liked a few more) but each of them were totally different people therefore my love for them was different. One was very playful and we had a blast goofing around with each other. One was very "chic" (french) and deep and I loved that about her, and another was "exciting/scary/unstable" and I loved that.

Now do I believe there is one unique individual that I was meant to be with? Not at all. To expect everything from one person is impossible to achieve/find in my opinion.
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
Wife sharing emails with men
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:39:29 AM

well you were suspicious and had a reason to look at her blackberry. YOu are her husband and the fact that you caught her doing something wrong is what matters. She will turn it all around and make you look bad for "snooping" in her blackberry. Trust me, she is going to freak out and lie about and somehow it will be your fault. Confront her, no matter how y ou do it, it will suck.

What he said ^^^ don't let her do that. There are threads on here about whether or not online stuff like this is considered actually 'cheating' but remember: cheating starts in the mind so whether she actually does anything physical or not is irrelevant.

BTW: flirting or not, she shouldn't be doing either if she's married.....
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 177 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:29:00 AM
Mr Levis up there?? ^^^ awesome post buddy!


I'll take a woman that's made the effort to meet in the middle, as I have, any day of the week over the woman that says, "Do as I say, not as I do."

that's one thing I've been trying to say for the past 17 pages, yet there are those who steadfastly stand by their attitudes. (men and women I might add).

Don't waste your breath, just be thankful there are women who truly want to get past the past and move onto a bright new future of social equality and open communication between the sexes!

Vive la revolutionne!!!!
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 169 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/21/2009 10:10:29 AM
I hope you were just being silly with this stereotype.
I am extremely logical; also on IQ tests I score 100% on the spatial questions posed.
If I were in charge of a highway system here in Los Angeles it would be functioning better than it is now. I see lots of room for improvement and none of it includes “Somewhere up ahead” signs.
BTW, I never ask for directions.

Yes I was, I was trying to add a little levity to this thread lol.....

You never ask for directions? I think you deserve a honorary pen*s....don't be offended, I gave a buddy of mine an honorary vagina since he gets pedicures, manicures, and owns over 80 pairs of jeans lol.....

btw: I don't choose women who aren't communicative. I avoid them like the plague......

Where not understanding women's indirect styles affects men is with working with female bosses, subordinants and clients

That is my point exactly. I have worked for man female bosses (more so than men) and they have no problem communicating what they want, when they want it, how they want it done, and who they want it done to. Yet (according to some here) heavens NO NO NO they cannot must not and should not do that with men they care about or interested in. Compare that to once again, my starbucks analogy and you get my drift. They CAN communicate openly, but choose not to......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 168 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/21/2009 9:41:59 AM're too wonder you have a hard time communicating, you can't read!!!

I find it funny how a few women understood what my point was and got it.....I tell you what:

I hear walmart has a special on today on clues, I suggest you go buy one because you obviously don't have one!!

Thank You thank you, I'll be here all week!
(and I do two shows on saturday, try the veal, it's great!)

Sounds like you've already got your mind made up, so what would be the point of even talking to you? If I don't admit it, I'm lying/denying. If I do, you're happy. So, be happy. :)

The point would be to COMMUNICATE......and since it seems every woman in this thread has already made up her mind why should I be any different?

So, are you brave enough to admit it? or at least talk about it? (btw, someone already posted it, but it was a man so that doesn't count)
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 164 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/21/2009 9:00:42 AM

So you guys fuuked each other and told each other do this do that do this do that to me ... if that works for you great, but it ""no comprehends"" in my language of love. Sorry.

technically speaking, yes it was our first REAL date. The other times could be construed as platonic meetings. (even though we did kiss goodbye and I did buy her a pair of kick azz leather pants that fit her azz just perfectly!).

BUT we never told each other what to do, we told each other what we liked to do. Then did it. BIG difference. and I am wondering, what is YOUR version of language of love? Keeping secrets? Keeping your sexual preferences locked away like some treasure? Keep him guessing and chastise him for "not getting it/you"????

kind of like: preferring red roses and "testing" him to see if he can understand you like them better without ever telling him. Then if he doesn't get you red roses, yellow or pink ones instead, it is HIS fault......and "he's not the one for you".

I honestly think the "guy for you" is the Amazing Kreskin....least that is the way it seems lol.....oh wait, maybe it is Uri Geller, he's another mind reader hehehehehe (but he's really really OLD)
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 163 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/21/2009 8:45:34 AM

but I got a call one saturday afternoon with a woman I had only known a short time. We had never really gone out on a "date" before

Savona? I guess you skipped over this point because it didn't support your argument.

I plainly stated that I had known her a short time, this was our first real "date" though it wasn't the first time we'd ever seen each other socially.

So, while it was technically a first date, it wasn't as you put it "first date" sex. So nice try in trying to somehow tarnish what was an amazing evening for both of us.

As for her preferences in bed: it wasn't me me me me, it was open communication so that we BOTH could enjoy ourselves physically without a whole lot of trial and error and "you want to do WHAT"????? EEEEEK lol
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 157 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/21/2009 7:39:00 AM

I believe that to be the case, not only in how we communicate, but also how we interpret. Frankly, I don't really believe that the difference in the way genders speak is a bad thing. However, in typical POF fashion, the mountain was a mole hill to begin with and the things that should only irk us are becoming battlegrounds on which The Great Gender Wars are fought

Great post DBB. I think the problem lies in the fact that things change/changed and many made a conscious decision to say F that. (men and women) and refuse to grow with these changes.

I think anyone who doesn't grow, learn new skills, embrace change, are only doing themselves a disservice. It is when takes an almost militant attitude when the battlefield ensues. For example: I say, "you could say it like this" using an example of words that could possibly be used to convey the true meaning and many react: you're telling me what to say, you're saying what we say is wrong. Not even remotely.

As I and others stated: many men and women embraced the changes and some flatly refuse to accept them. That's life. That old adage comes to mind: you snooze you lose....
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 151 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:40:12 AM
^^^^^ that may be true but there are rules and regulations as to sign content and how to lay out lanes so that EVERYONE can understand them, not just women hehehehe
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 150 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:10:56 AM
Speaking of me me me me me me me - allow me to decode this....

Why do you think any of us need to know all your shyt?

Now who is baiting whom? There's that pot/kettle thing again.

It's off topic and has nothing to do with anything any one has posted in the last 36 hours.

and your post is what, directly ON topic full of information?

I don`t know Gone sailing, it seems on topic to me, it`s about communication right?
Not trying to help him out of choice as he certainly has some attitude but then again I do see what he's saying in that info you just quoted.

Yes, I have an attitude. I think that women need to take charge of their lot in life and quit blaming us for not understanding their "signs". Meet us halfway, be more communicative and we'll try to learn your language. Life is about compromise and for those that don't flex with the wind? They end up breaking....

I am still waiting for any woman to come on here and give ONE good reason why on earth they wouldn't want someone to understand them?

(I actually know the reason for this but I'm waiting for someone to openly admit it)

Can you imagine if women were in charge of the highway system? None of the lanes would be marked, each exit would have the stores listed on the exit sign NOT the street name, east and westbound lanes would be intermingled and all the distance signs instead of saying "toronto- 120 kms" would be "Toronto-somewhere up ahead" lol

I was watching Top Gear the other night (for the ladies, it's a tv show reviewing new cars and their performance and all things automotive).

They did a test:
They had 4 of the pirelli Girls with a challenge: get ready for a night on the town
They had a rally car pit crew work at race speed to replace all the brakes, the drive train, the gearbox, and suspension on a rally car.

The pit crew replaced all the parts and the car rolled off the jacks in 32 minutes.

The ladies after 45 minutes hadn't even chosen 1 pair of shows for ONE of them to wear that night. The film crew got bored after a couple of hours and left. The women didn't even notice they were gone lol.

Just saying is all lol.
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 137 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/20/2009 3:26:19 PM
Rentahusband...I think it's pretty obvious that the women on this thread have no problem SPEAKING THEIR MIND. Lol

Oh I agree, but for some strange reason, when it comes to men they are interested in, they choose not to.....

(which equates back to my starbucks analogy)

My question is: WHY?

And do NOT give me that BS about "because we choose to and if you can't understand it we're not the problem YOU are...".

Nevermind, don't answer that. There's no reasoning in a creature who would wear shoes that cripple them for days just so their legs will look good lol......believe me, I have had to carry more than my share of women to the car because they can no longer walk on their favourite CFMs. One in particular was laid up for a day after because she had so many blisters she couldn't put on socks let alone shoes and WALK.....

(hey, I've been privie to more than my share of the chat that women get into in a group and believe me, they're not all just sitting there nodding and ummhmmming.....if they would only talk to their guy that way, NO miscommunication EVER lol)

What is it that we men hear all the time? OH you should see the way she talks when she's out with the girls, she'd make a sailor blush!!!!!
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
Doesn't EVERYONE like oral sex?
Posted: 8/20/2009 2:08:45 PM

YUP REALLY! That is my opinion and I'm allowed to have an opinion. My opinion is formed on experience and the stories I hear! .... and yup I think my opinion can hold true for absolutely each and every thing that may not have been experienced - where there is a hesitation or indeed a fear!

Sorry, that's not an opinion, the way you worded it is a statement of fact.

But you changed it in your next post: this thread isn't about something NOT experienced, it is about something experienced and not liked. There is a tremendous difference between the two.

So I guess you think anyone who doesn't like lamb is afraid of sheep? Anyone who doesn't like steak is afraid of cows? Anyone who doesn't like wine is afraid of grapes?
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
Doesn't EVERYONE like oral sex?
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:53:46 PM
There are people who simply haven't experienced someone who can make them change their mind! When someone says they don't like something it's usually because they have a fear of the outcome - or they are embarassed by the act itself! You may not be compatible for one another - so you will not be the one to change his mind!

Come on, really. Does the same hold true for a woman who doesn't like anal sex? Or how about someone who doesn't like the taste of lamb? Or someone who prefers beef over pork? some people like to be whipped, some don't. Some people like to be peed on, some don't, some like to be wrapped in a onesie, diapered, and bottle fed and be called larry, Is there something wrong with them? NO (well, maybe the one that likes to be diapered and called larry lol)

Just like there's nothing wrong with a guy who doesn't like a BJ. As someone said up there ^^^^^ I have yet to meet anyone who can blow me and have it feel as good as intercourse. Until that time comes (pun intended lol), I'll stick to what I like TYVM. Just like what everyone should do when it comes to sex.
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 135 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/20/2009 1:31:38 PM quoted this from Levi...wouldn't "freedom of choice" imply that women can be whatever they want...traditional, modern, a little of both, eccentric, ...whatever..not to be pressured to be one way or the other...based on what men think they should be? Tell me how that is different than: barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen?

Still, telling women what their proper role is....

I never ONCE told a woman what to say, what to think or what their roles is..>EVER!! so once again, and you're not the first, PLEASE stop misquoting me or put words in my posts which ARE NOT THERE!.

See, I get it. It is ok for men to read what a woman posts as "advice", be told to accept women for whom they are, but reverse the roles here: It is NOT ok for a man to give advice to a woman on how to communicate more clearly, NOT ok for a man to give a woman advice as to how to maybe change the way they do things a little and MAYBE get better/more/meet dates......

At no time did I EVER say in any way shape or form that a woman MUST do anything. I simply said that a) if you want to be understood more communicate more clearly.

I never ONCE said in any way shape or form that ANY woman HAS to communciate differently. I DID say however that it is hypocritical to say "I communicate the way I want and if a man doesn't understand me, that's HIS fault (by stating he's not a man I want anyways which equals it is his fault) and it is up to the GUY to learn to understand ME and the way I communicate......

If a woman wants to be better understood by a man? Talk to him, openly honestly and frankly. Just like you would to your sons, daughters, policeman, judge, and even the fricken guy behind the counter at starbucks.

Oh yeah, for the record, I never said ONCE that "I won't ask any women out" I specifically said "I want a woman who can communicate openly and honestly". Not like a man not like a woman, LIKE AN CONFIDANT ADULT.

I wrote about this date in another thread and I'll repeat it here:
THE best date I ever went on and unfortunately it didn't evolve into anything because she ended up taking a job out of town, but I got a call one saturday afternoon with a woman I had only known a short time. We had never really gone out on a "date" before. She called me up and said "I was supposed to work tonight but I am off, want to go do something"?? I said sure how about dinner and play some pool? Cool she says: pick me up at union station in an hour.

We had dinner, shooting the sh*t etc. So dinner's over, we hop in my truck and are on our way to play pool.....I sense from her that she wasn't really into pool so I ask (Like a man) You don't seem too keen on shooting pool, is there something else you'd rather do?

She said (and I kid you not): Yeah, I really want to go back to your place and F your brains out......

Yeah, I was shocked, I almost rear ended the car in front of me. HEY A WOMAN WHO CAN SPEAK HER MIND!! yAAAhOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

And the sex? FREAKING AMAZING....why?
None of:
Do you like this?
Do you like this?
How about this?
What about this?
Does this feel good?

It was refreshing to hear:
I like this
I like this
Do this
Just like that
That feels good

It was amazing, refreshing, fan effin tastic.

We went out a number of times after and in all my years of dating I never NEVER encountered a woman so communicative.

In all my previous dates it was:
Would you like to go here? Ooooh Ok......(even knowing it wasn't what she wanted)

Instead I got:
Would you like to go here? Not really, I feel like Chinese, can we go here? OH MAN HEAVEN ON EARTH I HAVE DISCOVERED THEE.....

Do you want to go watch the new Chick Flick? No not really, how about we go watch the new Star Trek movie?

WHOA heaven I'm in heaven, thank heaven for little girls....(as I tap danced across the floor doing my best Fred Astaire imitation).

Speaks her mind, likes sex, likes STAR TREK, LOVES using power tools, wait, is she transexual????

OH, and before anyone says she is a MAN in disguise, she was SO girly in some ways. Loved lingerie, LOVED it when I took her to the body shop, LOVED getting flowers but what I discovered was: she took sexual equality seriously. She loved the fact that she could say whatever was on her mind and not only be accepted for it, but APPRECIATED for it......oh and NEVER losing her femininity either! She was a woman in every sense of the word.........but she was a woman of the 21st century....

Just for the record:
I am a man. I sweat when I work, I am strong, I have a million power tools, I can fix just about anything, I do guy stuff, but I also:
Make candles,
Love giving and receiving flowers,
Light candles around the bed before I make love,
LOVE sharing a bubblebath with a woman (or alone)
Read romance novels as WELL as murder mysteries,
Know how to sew,
watch fashion television,
have no problem going into a lingerie shop and getting something for a lady,
Can write poetry,
and love to cuddle, hold hands, and all the other sensitive things.

I evolved, why can't/don't more women?
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 129 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/20/2009 5:13:33 AM
Since you have difficulty recalling where it is in the forums that you're rude and out of line by calling people out and baiting them AND flaming them - allow me to point this one out to you.

Sorry, that isn't flaming them, that isn't rude, that isn't baiting them, that is stating my opinion of what they are posting in the forums. No different than you and your ilk commenting on me, my choice of women,

There's that hypocrisy thing again, it's ok for YOU to do it, but not're so funny.......

And Mr Levis and I agree 100%...he nailed it with his post, and this sums it up best:

So, I made all these efforts to support "freedom of choice" in the lives of the women I loved (at a very young age, I might add) while tolerating the scorn of the older men in my life. Now, to hear some of the contemporarily aged women implying that there is no freedom of choice when it comes to approaching men; that if a man doesn't decifer the female code, he's a wuss, lacking confidence, unmanly, or gay - it's very dissappointing!

Never Fear Mr Levis, there are women out there (and some even in this thread) who have no problem going after what they want, communicating in a clear and open manner and have NO problem stating what's on their mind in real, NOT just on an anonymous POF thread.....

and ....

Why don't men understand this verbal/direct statement: "I'm not interested" - or - I'm not interested X's 2? Ugh

Because sometimes women play the "hard to get" game thinking that it will somehow be clear to whomever that they in fact ARE interested just playing the "game"......(and don't even TRY to say that some women don't do this.....)

Then it's name should be Savona/Rock Man. There is no question that I fit into certain gender rolls for certain types of women. Just as certain women fit into mine.

So, you're saying that you openly communicate your thoughts and feelings and intentions and you wholeheartedly agree that women shouldn't? That instead of openly and honestly communicating with you they should be vague, hint, sigh, and never speak their mind? What is this 1950????

Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 121 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 5:09:22 PM

that's called HYPOCRISY and thy name is Savona......

This is just insane. I actually now feel sorry for you rent I truly do. I wish you all the best fishing in this pond. I hope for you that a great woman asks you out and finds you attractive enough outwardly and inwardly. Good luck and happy fishing. I won't respond to another of your posts.

Yes, we finally agree on something. It IS insane to set rules which men have to follow yet excuse oneself from following those same rules. Don't try and muddy the waters with who asks whom out. This thread is not about that. It is about how one chooses to communicate and how one chooses to communicate in vagaries yet DEMANDS that a man communicate openly and honestly.

Respond or not, that makes you a hypocrite......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 119 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 3:34:50 PM

Back OTopic ... Don't think I don't know when a man is sending me signals that he is interested ... I am seriously not as thick as a brick (Jethro Tull?) but as PERSONAL PREFERENCE ... if a man is dancing about and not really able to COMMUNICATE to me in ENGLISH that he would like to go out then I am just not interested.

I rest my case. Completely and unequivocally a woman FINALLY admits that she sets rules that guys have to follow yet she herself openly admits that those very same rules DO NOT APPLY TO HER.

that's called HYPOCRASY and thy name is Savona......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 111 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 12:40:36 PM

We can be clear, see?

Yes you can, which is exactly my point. When a woman chooses to be clear, you can. So why NOT be clear? To what end? Purpose?

I cannot fathom any reason to want to communicate with someone and opt to do it in a fashion that is unclear......

To me, that's like walking into a store, seeing a pair of shoes on sale for $45.00 and another pair of the exact same shoes priced incorrectly at $65.00 and choosing the $65.00 pair......
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 107 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 11:17:09 AM
Cautous, hey you finally get it! Yes women ARE smarter than men in some instances. Yes, when you speak in inneuendos and kinda sorta terms, yes some of us DO need to have it spelled out for us.


IME the guys that don't need it spelled out for them? Most of them have been players.......either that or gay lol........

<div class='quote'> There ya go-difference between men and women

Difference is: he told you right away......didn't try to explain through pouting, body language, running away........
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 106 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 11:07:33 AM
Sure about that. However, as the woman understood you, did you understand her? If you didn't understand her, it's not her fault. Why did you complain about women too much?

Yes I am sure, when I asked she either said yes, or no. I understood completely. What she didn't do is (in the language that others here are saying is THE language we need to learn):
say I don't know, what do you mean by going out to dinner?
say ummm what do you mean by that?
Just not say anything, just stand there twirling her hair.......
Stand there and stare at me whilst licking her lips........
take my hand and say: you're not MARRIED????
adjust her bra strap.......
and finally:

say "OH my brother in law has a car just like that and it has air conditioning, a stereo, get's good mileage and I really like the new style of jimmy choo's that came out...."

(whatever the heck THAT means lol)

BTW: for those that stated I have a hair trigger, you don't know squat. I don't have a hair trigger and if you take these forums as any judge of that, then you are sourly mistaken. I am laughing everytime I post here (especially here lol) and especially get a laugh out of the peanut gallery trying to bring me down to their level.

I just want to add that some have written to me and given me the scoop on some of the more diligent posters here and I found that very amusing and it kind of fit the opinion I formed on my own....which makes this even MORE entertaining hehehehe
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 105 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 10:34:09 AM

It's funny thing. Aren't you single?

By choice.....and I don't blame it on anyone not being able to read my signs, inneuendos, or insinuations....when I ask a woman out, she KNOWS what the heck I'm doing...........
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 104 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 10:26:43 AM
Actually you are wrong. I did not say to learn our language,


but few who offer up suggestions are willing to learn the language

I feel that learning the language of women means to try to accept it and not tell women that our language is WRONG

They want to tell us women to speak in mars language to understand them.

NO, never once said speak in Mars language, specifically said communicate BETTER. But as I said, you can't see the forest for the trees.

And this is my final word on the subject: how are your inneuendos and suppositions and inflections working out for you? You're still single right?

You have NO argument there...NONE.

I want a MAN who is intelligent enough and secure enough to communicate openly and honestly and isn't afraid of taking risks.

But you're NOT openly communicating. You're kind of sort of maybe might be trying to get your point across in some vague and obscure fashion.. .That isn't open communication, that leaves it all "open to interpretation".

Sorry, but if you think talking without saying anything is communication, I can understand why you're single........

I agree it's funny, for a way different reason.
He picked her.
And? He stayed with her for several years.

Because she is/was twice the woman you'd ever hope to be and she had many MANY endearing qualities...........
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 98 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 8:54:49 AM

They want to tell us women to speak in mars language to understand them.

I guess if someone is interested in decoding a new language they actually take the time to learn that language.

I feel that learning the language of women means to try to accept it and not tell women that our language is WRONG and that in order to catch a man we have to SPEAK different. So I guess it goes both ways

Rent for instance ... I feel wants women to date like him, and date the way he does. But for me ... well he is a man and I don't date in a manly fashion.

I wasn't going to respond but you keep bringing me into it.....just like Pacino: I wanted out but they dragged me back

Do you listen to yourself? It's all ME ME ME ME. Learn our language, learn to understand our signs, blah blah blah. YOu are doing the exact same thing you're accusing us of: learn OUR language or else.

For the last time: I never said ONCE that the way women do things is wrong. NEVER so STHU about it. I simply pointed out a way of communicating in a slightly different manner that would get your point across.

All I (and I believe others like me) are saying is that ONCE again: If you ordered a coffee the way you communicate with a guy you're interested in, you'd never get the coffee you like. EVER.

No. I don't want to date a woman who acts like a man. I want a woman who is intelligent enough and secure enough to communicate openly and honestly and isn't afraid of taking risks. One who understands that communication is the KEY to any relationship.

I find it so baffling how women can communicate in business, in public life, to their kids, to their parents etc in one way, but when it comes to dating or a relationship, that goes out the window?

Further to my starbucks example: When a woman goes to get her hair done, does she kindof sortof maybe possibly leave it up to the hair dresser to determine what it is she wants? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. She goes in (and I've been in enough to see this first hand) and sits down and says: I want it cut this way, this short, this colour, this this this and this. AND SHE GETS WHAT SHE WANTS.

Why is it so hard to do the same for a guy she's interested in? What are you so afraid of?

I will tell you why I find this SO frustrating (and frankly infuriating).

I dated this one woman for 5 yrs. She was the most wonderful woman I ever met. I loved her immensely. I loved her so much I didn't even consider Jennifer Aniston attractive any longer. One problem was that she was very sensitive. I could go from Hero to Zero in 1.2 ms and believe me, it happened a LOT.

A perfect example:
We were at a pub in a small town on the south shore of lake ontario. We were dancing, partying, having a great time. AWESOME time. It was a perfect summer evening. Not too hot, not too cold, dancing under the stars......PERFECT.

Well we were sitting at our table and all of a sudden she clams up. Totally shuts down. She is FUMING. I am like wth????? What's wrong, NOTHING really, what's wrong NOTHING. She gets up and storms off the patio.

I rush to catch up to her and What's going on? NOTHING.....she storms off down the pier and returns about 20 minutes later.

Well after 3 fricken hours of begging cajoling, she finally opens up and says: if you want to go F that waitress, just go do it!!!!

I said "what waitress"?

She said "the one that was serving the table 3 down from ours".

I had to laugh...really. I said "I don't know what you are talking about"

She said "well you were STARING at her".

I then almost lost it: I said "I wasn't staring at her, I knew the group of guys at the table but couldn't remember where I'd seen them before and was trying to remember their names and it was bugging the heck out of me".....

The whole thing could have been explained in under a minute and we could have continued having an awesome evening.

So yeah, I want a woman who can communicate and frankly I WILL not ever put up with THAT BS ever again. If a woman cannot openly communicate her thoughts, feelings, wants, needs, desires, then I would rather be single for the rest of my life than have any more of it ruined because she can't..........
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 95 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:25:13 AM
And I was referring to post 235. I had to actually go back and read it again and came to the conclusion that it must be difficult for you to be so confused.....that's what happens when you overthink the situation.....seriously, sometimes you just have to go with the flow and use common sense.

And I knew you were. I had to reply via PM because I was over my daily posting limit.

I wasn't confused, this thread is about improving the male/female communication and it is obvious many men have a hard time interpreting what women do. (I honestly think many do that on purpose).

I simply stated a way in which you can get your point across and leave NO room for misunderstanding.

Why are some so militantly against that?

Again, if you go into starbucks and walk up to the cash do you tell the clerk what you want or do you leave it up to them to interpret what it is they think you want?

It is written in many places that when men ask a woman out, they should state precisely where, when, and what. Not "we should go out sometime". So what is so wrong with women doing the same if they want to be treated that way?
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 94 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/18/2009 10:52:12 AM
Well are isn't this just a peach of a post. It appears as if giving good advice has been gleened from the past posts and perhaps this poster realloy doesn't have a clue.

So you suggest that we as women just walk up to men and ask them their diick size. Well goolie gee willickers ....

Since you and Ms Sailing can't see the forest for the trees, yes, if you want to know something ASK. simple......

Rent I am just wondering why you are so rude to GS when she was genuinely asking a question.

Because she is and continues to be rude to me for genuinely apologizing for an honest mistake.....

But, I will not further play these games, now back to your regularly scheduled forum.....
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 93 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/18/2009 10:37:00 AM
Insult others directly.
That's rude and against the forums rules.

Ummm show me anywhere I have insulted someone directly? And frankly you should know. You throw the azz word around a LOT.

You haven't been here very long poster,

Ummm yes I have......about a year longer than you TYVM frankly, longer than you and savona put together actually......

You've not only been rude - you've been out of line and posting not within the forum rules of behavior

Actually, again, that's the pot kettle thing. I find some of YOUR posts to others (not only myself) to be rude and insulting and not within the forum rules of behaviour.....

Most any one on POF would understand and agree that you were baiting me - and it wasn't even I who had made the comment to which you were referring

And I explained that it was an honest mistake and you refused to accept that apology. As I said: you think everything is a fight and I refuse to play that game.

My suggestion to you and my own opinion regarding your ability to interact with females in the future both in person and online at POF would be that you will have a much more enjoyable life if you participate with some decorum and skill, rather than angry old man tactics.

And my advice to you is to not look at everything as a battle and that everyone is out to do battle with YOU. Sometimes a post is just a post and sometimes mix ups do occur. Get over it.........really.
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 92 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/18/2009 10:03:07 AM
I'd appreciate it if some of you men would share the REALITY of how that's supposed to be done by a strong, competent woman, who doesn't lie, play games, or use tricks but had no freakin clue how it's done.

You already know so why do you keep repeating yourself?

If you want to KNOW if he's married: ASK him if he's married.
If you want to know how big his _ick is? ASK HIM

As for if he's interested? ASK HIM it is NOT rocket science.....jesus, you seriously make life so difficult for yourself. If you're interested in him, act like you're interested in HIM, ask him about his work, his house, his kids, where he vacations, what he does for fun, what his favourite shows are, what kind of movies he likes about HIM for a change.

If you really want to let him know?

So, I don't know what you want. You want us to tell you how NOT to do it? Since you obviously know it all.

If you want to get to know him romantically INVITE HIM OUT ROMANTICALLY jesus H isn't rocket science....

One thing I love about these forums: when you quote someone, even if they go back and edit their post, THE QUOTE STANDS lol I love it I really do!

Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 91 (view)
Decoding the Female Language
Posted: 8/18/2009 9:46:40 AM
everyone has their own style and for you to say we are doing it wrong

please state in clear unambivalent words: where I said you were doing it wrong?

As for why I am here: I only ask out women I'm interested and be sure: when I ask them out they at least KNOW wtf I am talking about lol.

But you fall right into my theory on why there are so many single women: they can come up with any number of excuses why they won't date a guy.

In your case he doesn't pick up on your "intentions and inneuendos". I honestly think I've heard them all. I thought I had from watching Seinfield.....close talker, high talker, low talker, man hands, etc etc etc lol

BTW: Unlike some here, I read and listen to what women say and openly communicate ways in which the sexes can get along. Unfortunately there are some who feel that "it is my way or the highway" and (childishly imo) refuse to budge or even listen for a second for advice or information that might help them through life.

If you're just here to argue or state your case, why bother? Why not go out and bat your eyelashes at all those buses passing you by?

I got it, I understand now. As I was making my lunch it came to me like a lightning bolt!

The reason women don't openly communicate their thoughts/feelings/intentions because if they did, the reason it didn't work out would be THEIR fault. As plainly stated above: if the guy doesn't pick up on HER inneuendos, she says it is HIS fault and HE isn't someone she wants....

I bet you're also the type that will be walking through the mall with a guy and see something in a window and say: that's a nice ____

Then when it comes to Christmas and he asks you what you want, you get po'd because you "think" you already told him.......
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