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 Author Thread: By accident or on purpose?
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
By accident or on purpose?
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:53:50 PM
You should wait it out. You will know if he is not interested if he doesn't get back to you after the vacation he is on is over.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
how do I say hi when guys are all about the chase???
Posted: 4/23/2009 2:35:24 PM
Times have changed I think it's ok for women to ask a guy out out on a date nothing wrong with that.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What size is considered a BBW?
Posted: 4/16/2009 9:16:52 AM
without a pictures I really can't say if your misrepresenting yourself.

I will say that many women & men on this site (and others) are not honest on their profile and say their physical appearance is average or they are just have a few extra pounds when the picture clearly shows they are just a bit heavier than just a few extra pounds.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Why are these guys on this site so full of it.
Posted: 4/15/2009 6:33:47 PM
It goes both ways as others said in the previous posts so both men and women are guilty of doing this. A large percentage of people on dating sites have a "preference" so I never worry about not getting a response.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Is there something in my profile that attracts older men?
Posted: 4/13/2009 7:48:34 PM
WithxAbandon
I think it is your age that is attracting older men.

I'm having the same issue as you are with Women on this site and others i have been on
I see alot of women in there 40's and 50's viewing my profile and sending me e-mails.
I guess robbing the cradle is the new dating rage for mature singles.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Gold digger
Posted: 1/22/2009 6:50:39 PM
The right term for a gold digger is a woman that openly admits she only dates men with money.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Is Friends first really that hard to understand?
Posted: 1/2/2009 1:49:13 PM
I dont think most normal people feels its that hard to understand if a girl or a guy says they are just looking for friends.

The people that don't get it either don't read the profiles or just so desperate they want to bi-pass the friend stage.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
This guy totally confuses me!!
Posted: 11/11/2008 6:57:45 PM
OP,

I'm confused just from reading this too. He may be a little over sensitive If you r going to continue to talk or see him keep making notes of his emotional outbursts. If he does it once he'll do it again.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
When is it time to cut losses?
Posted: 10/6/2008 7:36:46 PM
He may have moved on

Other posters may have said the same thing but you should also keep your options open.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
When do you introduce a love interest to your friends
Posted: 10/3/2008 10:35:05 AM
Most guys will introduce their love interest to their family and friends when they know they are in a committed relationship and your past the dating phase and he feels certain comfort level. More than likely he has already talked about you so his friends and family already know the history.

As far as how long this takes that would be up to the individual.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
normal for a male/female friendship?
Posted: 10/3/2008 10:24:28 AM
OP,

I wouldn't read too much into the "my girl friend isn't like you" comments he says those things to you only because you two have a history with each other and he feels very comfortable with you.

If your not comfortable with some of the things he says you should have a talk with him.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Don't know what to do
Posted: 10/3/2008 10:12:32 AM
OP,

I think you may be reading too much into this too soon. The two of you just started seeing each other so sometimes for what ever reasons meeting up can't always happen. You should still continue to date him and see how things progress and if he has a pattern of always blowing things off with no explanation or doesn't say sorry than you can consider other options.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
I need advice
Posted: 10/2/2008 1:30:51 PM
OP,

My first thought would be since your boyfriend is from India there may be a cultural reason as to why he doesn't tell you much about his family and friends.

The only other explanation is that you are seeing a married man. Most married men don't introduce their mistress to friends or family because they don't want to get caught.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Are we all expecting too much ?
Posted: 10/2/2008 1:15:16 PM
OP

I agree with everything you wrote and I would even say that the club mentality is magnified even more so online.

I do believe there are members on the site that want to find somebody online and have a meaningful relationship but I think that number is shrinking as more and more people do less clubbing and begin to shift over to online dating as a way to pick up a quick date.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
confused
Posted: 10/2/2008 12:33:17 PM
I agree with what one of the previous posters wrote.

One of the best ways to tell that a guy really likes you and not just into sex is if he actually communicates with you and the conversations are not always about sex.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Met here on POF, live together, he is still on POF
Posted: 9/29/2008 11:17:10 AM
This just doesn't sound right to me. If the two of you are in a committed relationship but just not living together right now because of his work why do the both of you need profiles.

I wouldn't be happy if I was with somebody and we agreed to delete our profiles and the other person secretly had their peofile still up

Just sounds like the guy is not as committed as you are
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Does anyone have a clue about this behavior?
Posted: 9/29/2008 10:59:36 AM
You might be reading too much into this. He could be just one of those very outgoing guys that likes to flirt everyday but not with the same person. People that flirty like to have variety...lol
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
How can you tell if a guy is becoming attached?
Posted: 9/27/2008 7:59:01 AM
The biggest sign is that he wants to spend more time with you.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Asking a guy out while he's at work?
Posted: 9/26/2008 1:35:47 PM
It all depends on what type of work he does.

If he has an important high level business position and you are his client you ca exchange contact information but I wouldn't ask him out on a date and put his job at risk.

If his job is not that high level and you are a regular customer that visits his store, restaurant, branch etc. you should just wait until he is off work. As one poster said most companies don't want their employees to ask customers out on dates during business hours.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Question for men: the height issue
Posted: 9/23/2008 1:03:55 PM
OP,

To answer yout first question -

I would also be considered a short guy at 5'3 and I try to date women within my height range or maybe a couple inches taller I try not to go too much taller than 5'7 because it would just be too uncomfortable however, I see a trend of women who "have a few extra pounds" and are above 5'8 going after small guys.

To answer your second question -

I would be a liar to say that being short doesn't effect your prospects for dating. Both men and women have their preferences and but Movies and television and magazines have made it taboo to date somebody for a non superficial reason. Their are very few people in my opinion who date just because they like the person for who they are.

To answer your third question

I think the negative tone about short guys is a combination of a b & c.
a - Some woman have had a bad experience dating a short guy and I would guess it was because he lied about his height and she showed up for the date in heels that made her look twice as tall.
b - I do think Society plays a role by sending the image that if a guy isn't tall and muscular than he is weak. Society will also lead you to believe that short guys also have a small you know what.
c - The one myth I would like to see end is that short guys can't offer women protection and security. I think that is bogus and a lame excuse it doesn't matter how tall you are you either can protect the one you love or you can't it's that simple.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
What is I need space?
Posted: 9/17/2008 4:55:38 PM
sounds like the guys is backing out. I understand sometimes that people have second thoughts about moving their boy friend or girlfriend in with them, but at least have the guts and respect to be honest to your significant other to let them know your not ready to have somebody living with you. It's ridiculous to go through the motions of having you pack your stuff and almost give up your place.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
In need of changes??
Posted: 9/10/2008 12:29:52 PM
Hello

I was looking to see if I could have some guidance on what to do with my profile.

My profile has been viewed but I haven't gotten a lot e-mails since joining up to POF. The ones I have gotten ....well...to be politically correct.... lets just say I have been very disappointed.

I don't think my profile is terrible but I do think it could use some work...I just don't know what is missing.

Thanks for your help in advance!
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
What went wrong?
Posted: 9/10/2008 11:44:25 AM
I don't think you did anything wrong, but basically I think you answered your own question. You may have played it too cool and he saw that you were not interested so he decided not to pursue being more than just being friends with you.

For most guys if they are not looking to pursue a relationship with a woman and they just are friends you won't get a lot of attention from that guy unless its the occasional call or meeting somewhere just to hang out.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Why the pics with other women in them?
Posted: 9/10/2008 11:28:56 AM
us guys in general don't like taking pictures so we tend to have more pictures of us participating in some sort of activity or just acting silly.

But I think men can ask the same question to women as to why do most women have pics posted with all their girlfriends and its difficult to identify you in the picture.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 117 (view)
 
How a black male can approach white women... help
Posted: 9/10/2008 11:02:13 AM
OP,

I haven''t read other comments but I don't think there is a difference in how you would approach a white woman than women of color. You should just stick to what has worked for you if you find your being shot down maybe its because men of color don't approach them often.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Drive by phoning
Posted: 9/10/2008 10:13:56 AM
OP
I would just let it go to voice mail and call your ex back one hour later. I know there is a child involved but seriously I don't see any real reason why you have to be harassed so badly it all sounds so childish.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Advice needed...do my pics not look real?
Posted: 9/8/2008 5:41:35 PM
I think your pics are real but try posting more pictures that are a little closer to you
also so you avoid guys asking you to send them more pics.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 49 (view)
 
how do you tell if a guy is married?
Posted: 9/1/2008 2:04:29 PM
OP

I think you answered the question in your first sentence. You only had 5 dates so far so it may take the guy more time to warm up to you
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How you let a platonic male friend in dog house
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:38:08 PM
I agree with what one of the posters said doesn't matter if you are in a relationship or not if the two of you make plans and one of you don't show up without calling its just rude.
I know it sounds childish but I wouldn't make the first call back to him. wait for him to call you and rip him a new one.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Is the bad economy crimping your dating style?
Posted: 8/28/2008 1:17:56 PM
Yes the economy has trickled down to the dating scene
Think about the prices of different types of dates:

Movie dates - $50 to $100 dollars -
This includes tickets, food and gas.

Dinner date - $200 - $500 dollars -
depending on where you go to eat and how much you order this includes filling the car up with gas too.

Fun activity date -$100 to $300
this includes price of tickets, food, and gas to drive to the event.

Date at the bar - $50 to $200 -
depending on what type of drinks & how many you buy, if you decided to order food, and also filling your gas tank on the way home.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Why do men flirt if they already have a girlfriend?
Posted: 8/28/2008 12:36:22 PM
OP

The only answer I can give is that some guys just don't have any respect for their girlfriends or wife even if its just playful flirting. As you said women are guilty of this too but either way its just disrespectful.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Gold-digger
Posted: 8/27/2008 1:53:10 PM
OP

You have the right definition for a gold digger. I would even add somebody that's knowingly looking for a sugar daddy or a sugar mama and wouldn't ever consider dating or getting married to anybody making less than 6 figures.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Guy who lives with Mom or Mother who lives with son............
Posted: 8/20/2008 7:56:14 AM
I don't see a problem with your situation at all. Someone would have to be really shallow and closed minded if they didn't respect your situation.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Must be college educated?
Posted: 8/11/2008 4:48:26 PM
As I said in my previous post I agree with everyone that a college degree doesn't make one person better than the other. It is true that if you have the degree it does give you an advantage in the job market but its no guarantee you will even have a job.
One of the other posters said some of the biggest idiots have degrees a good example is our President GW
But with all that said I still think people have the right to their preferences no matter how stupid and shallow it may be.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Must be college educated?
Posted: 8/11/2008 1:48:39 PM
OP,

I see your point but I think if that is his preference then that's his problem that he dismissed large segment of women on the site.

But you have to agree women on this site do the same things in their profiles to dismiss people based on what they perceive as attractive some of those include:

- No short guys
- Must be in shape
- Must have a car
- Successful business men only
- I only date (insert race or nationality)
- I'm only here for "friends"

I would put more but it would take all day.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Is it just him, or all all men a bit looney? :)
Posted: 8/11/2008 1:31:52 PM
OP,

I think I understand your question but I'm not sure how to answer it because both your cousin and the married man she is dating are both wrong. As you said he is wrong for wanting to continue to cheat on his wife and she is wrong for going over to his place.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Developing feelings for someone
Posted: 8/9/2008 7:53:36 AM
OP

Thats a hard question to answer because you never know when it will happen.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Is getting along with your ex a turn off to a new guy ?
Posted: 8/7/2008 6:19:12 PM
OP

It all depends on the situation

If your just dating and the relationship is not a committed one I don't see an issue but as the relationship gets more serious you should consider telling your ex that your new boyfriend wants to spend more time with you and the two of you would have to work out something so that your ex would still be able to see your daughter.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Not married by 30, will it happen, ever?
Posted: 8/5/2008 7:22:01 PM
OP

I know what you mean my parents are starting to think the same thing since my other brothers and my sisters are married and have children, but I'm in no rush however it would be nice to settle down someday.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
Your sexual detail
Posted: 8/5/2008 12:38:21 PM
OP,

Guys that are mature normally don't have detailed conversations about how they perform in the bed.
I would feel a little weird and sick to my stomach if my male friends started to describe certain sensations and feeling in his body during sex.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
how to go from friends to more...is it possible?
Posted: 8/4/2008 6:51:41 PM
OP,

From your description it sounds like he is already interested in you.
Its a tough call to say what to do next.

Maybe you should just let things play out naturally and not force anything and see where it leads you if it doesn't go anywhere you will still have a good friend.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
I asked a question from a guy and got blocked
Posted: 8/4/2008 4:49:23 PM
OP,

There are plenty of men and women that just profile surf or window shop profiles and never send an e-mail.

In my opinion I think if you window shop you should adjust the settings so nobody knows you viewed a profile and you avoid receiving or sending e-mails that are not answered.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Second Chances: where do you draw the line?
Posted: 8/4/2008 8:06:14 AM
A few things that would end a relationship for me would be

- Cheating
- disrespecting my family
- Telling big lies to deceive me or hide something
- Being an unreliable person and I can't depend on you to be around in critical situations
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Do men like to be match makers?
Posted: 8/2/2008 7:18:37 PM
OP,

Most guys dont like match making because we wouldn't hook a friend up with a girl he would possible want to go out with himself.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What should I do?
Posted: 8/2/2008 9:38:57 AM
OP,

I don't think an e-mail would be appropriate because of the way you ended things.
You either have to call him or just leave things as is.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Phone calls v. texts
Posted: 8/1/2008 12:04:58 PM

dcspartan wrote: but yesterday, when I tried to call him. He didn't answer, listened to my voicemail, and texted me back about 5 min later.


Are you kidding me? How old is this guy?

This guy might be married or something or he just doesn't know how to communicate verbally over the phone.

Ok even if he said he was busy I think it's ridiculous to sit there and take the time to listen to a voice mail and then send a text.

Calling you back just to say "hey I'm busy can I call ya or text you back later" would have taken the same amount of time or even less.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
I am in love with my best friend... Isn't that the way??
Posted: 8/1/2008 11:46:33 AM
OP,

To be honest in my opinion even though he was nice to you and didn't get upset when you told him your feelings for him he is always going to feel a little awkward around you.

The best you can do is still be friends but don't ever bring up the topic of being more than friends if he doesn't want to talk about it.

I wouldn't end your friendship with him because he is going to feel like he did something wrong to you.

You are doing the right thing by dating other guys even if your not excited about the guys your going out with you can't wait on him to have the same feelings that you have because as you said that may or may not happen.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
When should a girl consider herslef the guys boyfriend? Will you be my boyfriend???
Posted: 7/31/2008 6:32:30 PM
OP,

You wont know for sure unless the two of you talk about and make it official.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Phone calls v. texts
Posted: 7/31/2008 6:22:52 PM
OP,

Most of us men are not good with phone calls.
Next time he texts you call him while your in the middle of texting back and forth that way he wont have an excuse to not answering the phone.
 75october09
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
What is wrong with this guy?
Posted: 7/30/2008 7:45:40 PM
OP,

just forget about this guy if he is not serious and doesn't really give you a good reasons why he stood you up.
 
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