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 Author Thread: request for profile review!
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
request for profile review!
Posted: 9/18/2008 6:52:24 PM
Thanks, ofmm, snm, onlylocalsplease, and smilinpixie,

I appreciate the feedback, and glad to know that there are some people who don't take my profile 100% seriously, just 99% seriously.

You've got a good point, onlylocalspls, about the paragraphs. As for the photo: a friend said I should use the tree-stump one because it made me seem 'open', not 'closed'. However it'll soon be time to change it so I'll post something without shades.

Keep the comments coming folks!
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
She Gets Upset When Chatting To Me?
Posted: 9/18/2008 7:38:44 AM
Get away from her, man. Just get away.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Small refinements for now
Posted: 9/16/2008 8:34:12 PM
Ok, in light of the wide gulf between some of the opinions, I'm going to opt to leave most of my profile intact, and just make small refinements. Someone pointed out a few bits that sounded kind of harsh so I reworded it. Thanks for your critiques.

However, anyone else who would like to weigh in with an opinion is more than welcome! I like to hear what others think.

Drew
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Potato Salad
Posted: 9/15/2008 11:56:36 PM
Try to leave the 'e' out so it doesn't look like there are toes in it.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 232 (view)
 
What have you learned from online dating ?
Posted: 9/14/2008 8:15:12 AM
A few things:

1) 99% of women write *exactly the same thing*: "I'm a down-to-earth fun-loving kinda gal", "love to laugh", "I like cuddling", "not into games" and "enjoy long walks on the beach". Sheesh ... are they so uncreative and/or lazy that they can't write their own profile??

2) Similar to what msg #5 pointed out: despite their advertised friendliness, and lines like "let's chat!" or "just message me!", about 90-95% simply don't reply.

3) There is an appalling number of young women with multiple kids. Don't they learn about birth control these days?

4) Nearly everyone has atrocious spelling and grammar, with a few being borderline illiterate.

5) A disturbingly high number of women enjoy 4x4-ing, quadding and UFC.

More when I think of them.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
conflicting feedback ... what do I do?
Posted: 9/5/2008 5:54:41 PM
Thanks, ladyshyhawk, for your feedback.

So now I have a situation where one person says "What a great profile" and "No complaints", while another finds it "condescending" and "dismissive" and sounding like a lecture. I don't know what to do. Therefore I would really like more opinions from a variety of people before I decide how, or even if, to change it. Thanks in advance!
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Opinions wanted!
Posted: 8/28/2008 10:52:40 PM
Thanks for commenting banterista,

That's what it comes down to - I'm turning people off because they take the blurb at 100% face value due to the superior-sounding tone, but aren't able to see the undercurrent of humour. People who know me think it's a great profile (funny, accurate, etc.). But what I ought to have written was something directed at people who *don't* know me. Therefore, it's back to the drawing board.

Drew
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Opinions wanted!
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:16:06 PM
I'm still hoping for some comments on my profile. However, it's now apparent that it is not working for me and is in need of major revision. Some friends advised me to make it a lot lighter so as not to turn people off. So I'll eventually re-write it, turning it into easily digestible pap for the masses to consume. But for now, I welcome your opinion on my current profile. Thanks for commenting!
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
How about the opposite?
Posted: 8/28/2008 9:03:54 PM
This thread is about dating, and the OP asked about dating someone with Asperger's. Some posters gave advice on this. How about the opposite? What advice would you give someone with Asperger's on how to be more successful at dating 'normal' people?
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
request for profile review!
Posted: 8/15/2008 7:09:53 PM
Feedback from more people would be appreciated.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
opinions please
Posted: 8/12/2008 8:42:19 PM
ittybitty,

Thanks for the feedback. Now about yours:

1. Overall it's good, since there is a lot of material about. Unlike most people who just write two sentences. we now know something about you. You also have bits of humour sprinkled here and there which makes for an enjoyable read.

2. Photos. Most of them are awful. Photos that are out of focus, overexposed, or show you looking glum should be excluded. Digital cameras are cheap now. Take some time doing a photo session with a friend as photographer, or even experiment with some self-shots. Then post only the goodies. Also, if you're short, get the photographer to hold the camera lower so we look see you straight on rather than looking down on you.

3. In the first paragraph you're already talking about your chest. I would delete that bit. But keep the part at the end "Anyone who thinks ..." cos it's funny.

4. Spelling: psychology, Gandalf, gnome, a lot.

Hope this helps.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
request for profile review!
Posted: 8/12/2008 10:38:55 AM
Hi,

I would like feedback on my profile from both women & men. I've already asked a few people about it and they tend to agree that it's good that I wrote it honestly, even if it sounds cheeky or blunt, rather than dress it up with fluff that sounds nice but isn't genuine. Please review my profile with this in mind.

Cheers and thanks in advance for your comments.

Superdrew
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 755 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 7/14/2008 10:32:04 PM
I read a profile today in which a lady said she wasn't good about writing about herself, "so please bare with me.". It sounds like some kind of suggestive pun!!
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
would guys date a female cop?
Posted: 7/12/2008 1:35:16 PM
OP, It sounds like the guys you're talking about are a bit insecure. But some very practical questions come to my mind:

1) If I were dating a cop I would be *extremely* curious about her job. I would want to know everything. Would it be irritating to have your date constantly interrogating you about cop stuff, and stories from your day at work?

2) What if someone is taking you out to dinner for the evening, and he starts driving a tiny bit over the speed limit. Do you tell him he has to slow down?

3) If you wind up dating a decent guy (responsible person, good job, good personality match for you) but once in a rare while he likes to smoke pot. Does that put you in a difficult position?

Does your police training address the above issues?
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 59 (view)
 
Why Men Don't Write Long First Msg's
Posted: 7/10/2008 12:03:43 PM
I got into online dating sites a couple of months ago at the same time as a close female friend. It was fun to compare experiences. The first thing that became obvious was the HUGE asymmetry in terms of number of messages sent vs. rec'd. She was immediately, and still is, flooded with messages. She practically needs a secretary to manage all her correspondence. She almost never initiates first contact.

My experience was a lot closer to that of most of the men on this thread. I started out writing carefully-composed first-contact messages with decent content. I quickly learned that "Read/delete" is the norm. About 90% of my messages were just deleted nearly all replies were token responses without any hints that the conversation should continue. I therefore cut back significantly on the length of first-contact messages. They are still personalized, but are limited to a 2- or 3-line "hook", since anyone truly curious can get lots of details from my profile.

The attrition rate is still 90%, but at least I haven't wasted lots of valuable time composing messages. Or more precisely, I can send out more messages in a given amount of time. While not quite a "shotgun-blast" approach, it's definitely moving in that direction. As for receiving first-contact messages from women, so far I average 1.5 per month.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
I like my best friend but she has a boyfriend.
Posted: 7/8/2008 2:09:56 PM
Do what tsr906 says, especially 5) and 6). You're being used as a therapist/surrogate girlfriend for her. Time to cheerfully move on.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 657 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 7/8/2008 12:02:50 AM
It's bizarre that many contributors to this thread equate basic spelling with "perfectionism". Does saying 2+2=4 make me an advanced mathematician? Does tying my shoes correctly make me a fashion maven? Does washing my hands before a meal make me an obsessive-compulsive germophobe?

The answer, of course, is no. I wash my hands simply so they'll be clean before I eat. I strive for correct arithmetic so I can, among other things, balance a chequebook. And I tie my shoes so I don't trip & fall flat on my face. Careful writers want to write clearly because it is a basic skill in good communication. The key word here is BASIC.

Apologists for bad spelling & grammar need to realize it is not a matter of perfectionism, but it is about maintaining a basic skill. The seemingly finicky writers on PoF are doing them a small favour. I'm grateful when someone mentions that my shoe is untied. Ditto when someone calls me up for 2+2=5. And I want to hear about it if I make a basic spelling misteak!
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Why do people waste time chatting online and email, before meeting?
Posted: 7/4/2008 9:06:57 PM
It's nice to develop a rapport with someone first, that's what the chatting is for. It doesn't have to be months, but a little bit of back and forth makes the first meeting that much more relaxed, since you already know the person a little.

As for phones, I don't like them at all, unless it's for something urgent. Email/IM is much easier, especially for shy people. You can also share interesting links, photos etc., all of which adds to the rapport you build before you meet in person.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Can modern photography really be considered art?
Posted: 7/3/2008 12:31:41 PM
It's amazing that some contributors to this thread thing that 'more effort' or 'more time-consuming' equals more artistic, and vice-versa. They need to think more about the definition and meaning of 'art'.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 603 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 6/29/2008 8:03:01 PM

... terrible spelling and grammer ...


... it is indicitve of how ...

etc.

Now, I'm seeing misspelt words in this thread. I wonder if they are genuine mistakes, or if the writers are trying to be ironic.

Drew
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Are there two extremes of internet dating.
Posted: 6/28/2008 10:15:50 PM
The two extremes I've experienced are a) reluctant to go out even after emailing for a month, or b) Read Delete.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 595 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 6/28/2008 7:19:29 PM
Quintas, most people have at least some minimum standards; that's normal when it comes to dating. Far from being superficial, spelling & grammar are just one such standard. If I'm going to connect with someone on an interpersonal level then they not only have to be able to spell, but also do basic arithmetic, know the capital city of the country, obey stop signs when driving, and have sufficient brains not to smoke cigarettes.

Dating is about meeting someone you relate to so well that you go on to a deeper, romantic relationship. It's not about wasting time on the first brainless twit to send you an unintelligible email.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 66 (view)
 
annoying dating advice that you've heard
Posted: 6/27/2008 7:29:30 PM
"Well why don't you go out with X? She's single."

... conveniently overlooking the fact that X weighs 500 kg, is a nicotine addict, is 10 thousand years old, has three heads, or some other disqualifying trait.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 572 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 6/27/2008 6:42:53 PM
cak_student, the OP's post is not about perfect spelling & grammar. No one is perfect, apparently not even you or I, what with our 'decimel' and missing hyphen gaffes. That's beside the point though.

What the OP is referring to, and what bugs me as well, is when someone's correspondence is consistently shoddy with no attempt to check it. Ditto for the person's profile blurb. Why do we care? Because it is a reflection of the person's general standards. It's like combing your hair & brushing your teeth each day. It doesn't have to be perfect, but if it's chronically neglected then ... bleah.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 559 (view)
 
If someone emails you with misspelled words and bad grammar, do you respond?
Posted: 6/25/2008 11:13:07 AM
If someone initiated the conversation by emailing me first, I would always reply out of courtesy. But if I read a profile that is replete with spelling & grammar problems then it's a big turnoff. It suggests that the person has low standards. The profile is a presentation of yourself to the electronic world. Why be lazy and not spell-check it or get someone to proof-read it?


he wouldn't reject me because I can't keep my decimel points in line sometimes

cak_student, I wouldn't expect you to be a cutting edge mathematician, but I would definitely reject you if you were unable to do basic math. Similarly, I would hope someone wouldn't reject me for not being a brilliant literary author. But if I make I spelling or grammar mistake I expect to be called on it. By the way, cak_student, it is spelled "decimal".
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Webshots vs. Flickr
Posted: 6/22/2008 11:06:16 PM
I'm on Photobucket as well. I didn't even mention it because I find the interface laborious and confusing to use.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Can modern photography really be considered art?
Posted: 6/22/2008 10:59:06 PM
KristianLia, my question isn't "can't a snapshot be beautiful". My questions is, "if a point-and-shoot snapshot turns out to be beautiful, then is it art"?

South08, it looks like you would not see a beautiful snapshot as being art. What about a photograph created by someone who consciously tries using skill and imagination, but which then turns out to be boring and ugly. Is that art? Just because someone tried using skill?
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
What are the Greatest myths and lies we live daily ?????
Posted: 6/20/2008 11:05:26 AM
"The more you buy, the more you save!!!"
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Webshots vs. Flickr
Posted: 6/20/2008 10:04:29 AM
Why not switch to flickr. The interface is clear & dead easy to use. You can upload 200 photos if you have a free account.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Age limits in profiles
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:56:46 AM
There are all kinds of restrictions & specifications in people's profiles: age, height, fatness, education, and on and on. That's the whole point of using this web site. Why would you care about someone's age preferences & not their hair colour preferences? In fact, if you don't want to date them then why would you care at all? It's no one's business but their own.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
The height of indulgence
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:50:22 AM
Let's see: weird weird weird weird weird. You're right, it looks weird.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 106 (view)
 
The ART on your walls... and WHY?
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:47:08 AM
Framed photographs taken by me. Why? I have a photograph exhibit consisting of about 24 pieces & I'm currently looking for a gallery to host it. Until then most of it is wrapped up, but I keep a few hanging on my walls. Maybe it's time I swapped them for some different ones. If you're curious you can go to the exhibit web site. Just google supervaluredux
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
GRAFFITI: Art or Crime?
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:29:42 AM
The whole thread has been mislead by the original question which forces you to choose between art and crime. It can be both. There is a lot of graffiti that is very artistic, and at the same time totally illegal.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
Can modern photography really be considered art?
Posted: 6/20/2008 9:23:24 AM
Kristinlia, what if someone takes a snapshot while on vacation, and it turns out to be a beautiful photograph admired by many. Is it still not art, just because the photographer had no formal training? I think it is art regardless of how much knowledge the artist has. Artistic photographs, paintings, whatever, can sometimes come about by chance.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Jokes that crack you up but others don't find 'that' funny
Posted: 6/17/2008 9:07:30 AM
Q: What does a pig put on a cold sore? A: Oinkment.
 superdrew
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
 
Can modern photography really be considered art?
Posted: 6/15/2008 9:32:33 PM
Discoafternoon asked the key question, "What do you consider to be art?" Until we define it, the thread will go round & round in circles like a dog chasing its tail. A couple of other posters mentioned "definition" as well.

But in casting about for a definition don't get stuck in narrow-minded concepts of what art might be. Like Nexus6 pointed out, art can't be defined by the type of medium. Even more absurd is to define it according to how long it takes to create it, or how hard it is.

I disagree with Sanguus who says that art is not in the eye of the beholder, but in the eye of the artist. Art is in the eye of the beholder, and the artist himself is one of the beholders. destination_happiness raised an essential point: it depends on your "motives" as an artist. I would use the word "intention", and I would apply it to not just the artist but any observer. If you behold something man-made, and it moves you emotionally somehow, then you likely intend to see it as art.

As you might guess, I definitely consider modern, indeed all, photography to be art.
 
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