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 Author Thread: Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/26/2008 11:30:17 AM
Great post...I enjoyed the read.
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 875 (view)
so, why are you still single?
Posted: 5/26/2008 3:13:01 AM
Here’s the sad part on the guys asking you “why are you still single?” It’s their icebreaker. If you were at a bar and through small talk came upon divulging your age and bachelorette status these are the types of guys that will follow it up by saying “why are you still single?” because they lack intro convo skills. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or being unmarried in your mid ‘30s.
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 60 (view)
Guy I met online keeps asking for money
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:59:33 AM
It's an old old online scam run for your life it might even be a bot trying to gain info.
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
Has anyone had a bad experience with Priceline?
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:53:00 AM
I use to have so many problems traveling with PriceLine as well as Orbitz. Everything from cancelation to rescheduling was a nightmare. These days I buy direct from the airlines and it runs a little more expensive but worth my sanity!
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
Men in their 30's with no children
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:44:46 AM
Clay brother, don’t get down on yourself and don’t question your heart. Some guys never want kids and never have doubts; you are clearly not one of those guys. At 38 you are still young to be having kids and because of your age you will be poised to be a better father than guys who have kids in the early ‘20s. You are not selfish at all, I feel you did the right thing better to find out now than to come to the realization at 48 or 50 years old. Use POF to find someone that absolutely wants to have kids and you’ll find what you are looking for in life. God bless.

Follow your heart, for a heart is by its very nature is selfish, it has to be in order to keep you alive. - RAMoreno
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 63 (view)
Don't you Google your dates?
Posted: 5/26/2008 2:16:55 AM
It’s an absolute must to do a quick Google once you have first and last name, it’s tradition!!! I usually have my best friend do it as I know he will be very through and would enjoy the laugh should he find Jane use to John…LOL.

I guess as I got seriously involved with an internet woman I would do the full background both criminal/financial, this one I might not outsource.
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
Custody and a new relationship
Posted: 5/26/2008 1:58:13 AM
I’m up late specifically for the reason that my 1 year old son was taken from me here in Chicago to NJ by his mom a month ago. I love my son more than you can imagine. Besides my 1 year old I have for the last 4 years raised my other son (who I equally love and adore) who is not biologically mine he’s 5.5 years old (his biological father abandoned him). We all lived together for over 4 years till 1.5 months ago and we were not married, we could work out the relationship. That’s my intro.

I do not know what the laws in Cali are but I would imagine they are as strict if not stricter than Illinois when it comes to fathers’ rights. First off you will have a real uphill battle ahead of you and it is one that I do not think you can win for several reasons. 1 their father seems very much involved in their lives. 2 you will have the burden of proving to the court that they are better XXX miles away from their dad. 3 the judge will care about one thing and one only “what’s best for the kids?” and yes you are the mother (even with future stable marriage/family it might not be enough since it will not offset the fathers rights) but fathers have equal rights before the eyes of the court. 4 morally you already know it’s a bad idea to do this especially with the involvement their dad has and trust me if he wants more than weekends, give it to him. Better that than having a father not be involved.

I say use your clout with your BF/future husband to remain near their dad. You are the mom and you already know what you have to do you just need to bring yourself to talk with your BF. If he is truly the love of your life he will do his best and try and be as understanding as possible (seeing he’s not a dad and could not imagine your EX’s pain).

Just incase you were wondering last week I easily won my split custody case against my EX and my boys are being returned to Illinois next week ;-) with 50/50 custody and no more than 25 miles from Cook County limits. I wish you the very best and I’m sure you’ll do the right thing. Be well and God Bless.
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/26/2008 12:47:24 AM
-ShadowOfEnigma (msg38)
I liked what I read in the study. Do you know if the study was kept up to date beyond 2001? If so could you post for us to read?

-Falling Ember (msg39) & nicenormalgirl (msg40)
I couldn’t agree more with everyone having the right to filter for whatever category is open to them. All I question is when does to stop being romantic. Could imagine meeting someone for the first time and because of the massive filtering we’ve setup higher than normal expectations? It might be a recipe for failure.
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:40:29 PM
-Lynsteph74 (msg27)

I cannot see how that ridiculous quote fits the topic-

The Sidis quote is summed up in the last sentence and especially the final few words. If you consider this against what’s at the topics core it should become evident as the correlation is clear. (hint hint…formal education is not what it seems)

If I can bust my tail, while raising two kids alone to get a degree, then I can reasonably expect the same of a partner

This is exactly what I’m trying to surface as you take such a position in this topic. Do you believe that because you worked so hard in seeking higher education that you deserve no less than that in a partner? Do you see anything wrong with that? Where would our society be these days if men took that exact same stance with women before the mid ‘80s (there would have been lots of lonely women out there). I bring up the mid ‘80s because it was around that time that women out numbered men in college. Women now find themselves at the student majority of 56% in college and if they take your stance (there will be lots of lonely women out there…but that might work out better for us guys) where will that leave us. I hate using stats but it's just food for thought.

My point is that there is so much more to relationships than the “Smarts” and if you stress it from the beginning as much as those who do than it’s no different as those who stress THE PERFECT 10 LOOK (how do those relationship end?)! Hmm…hope that made sense.
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/25/2008 4:40:08 PM
Let me discuss my experiences with this subject as I hope to shed some light as to why I posted. When I returned to school for my MBA I quickly realized the attitude of the women had changed drastically from my undergrad days. I found the women in my program were quite contemptuous of men who weren’t seeking their level of schooling. This of course came out not through classroom time but over the occasional group coffee discussions. To generalize from my experiences I’ve found that women were more inclined to not date below their status than men. This may be due to many social issues like; financially supporting a man/family, the male ego…etc.

The reason I posted this in “Ask a Woman” is because I felt (in general) women are the likelier (my experiences) of the gender to be bias and I wanted the opinion of women. For example if I was a man that had been cheated, I would be more likely to post for a woman’s opinion asking “Why do women cheat on men” even though it’s obvious that men cheat on women as well. The reason people post in “Ask a Woman” is purposely to be more specific.

-Spanish Lover (msg 26)

It is very rare for intelligent people that bypass college to be successful. I have yet to meet anyone without a college degree to be able to carry on a conversation with me.

Wow….what can I say to that. Well, I can start off by saying that you haven’t lived enough yet. You seem to be close-minded to the world of experience and knowledge of those who are not as high and mighty as you. And believe me it’s a world that will never be open to you until you drop the pompous attitude. Where you have “yet to meet anyone without a college degree to be able to carry on a conversation” I have met many with far less schooling than me and have been in awe of them. Again you have not lived enough to experience this but you will someday.

By your reference of someone with “a bachelors to work on graduate level work” would it be safe to assume you are speaking about yourself, Hmmm….I wonder if you fall into the “folks like that” category.

You emphasize so much your inability to deal with the vocab of PhD women (chuckles) but TRUST ME on this one, those with PhD’s care less about vocab and more on the philosophical views you can offer them thus broadening their view of the world. Can you see that your insecurity with PhD women comes from how you treat/view women that are less educated than you????

Lastly your point about being too specific in my post….read my point located just above you quote! Read the posts for this string you are in the minority and you are the only one that stood out to me with such a hard line.
Joined: 5/4/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
Why do women w/ formal schooling higher than HS have a hard time dating men w/less formal schooling?
Posted: 5/24/2008 9:25:50 PM
I have to speak up about a recent thought i had and that is; I think this NEW category of "SMARTS" is comical. Your formal level of schooling does not define your education or even less "SMARTS" (I would be more than happy to discuss this topic with anyone). Now for those women that require as well as fiter men by a minimum level of "SMARTS" I will leave you with this quote:

"The child is regarded as a sort of a little beast, a kind of young ape, at best a little savage. The child, accordingly, is trained to act not by the light of reason, but by the command of superior force. The child is ruled by fear. Our young generation is trained by fear into discipline and obedience. We thus suppress the natural genius and originality of the child; we favor and raise mediocrity, and cultivate the philistine, the product of education, ruled by rod, not by thought." -Sidis

I know some may find this hard to believe but men are actually better judges of the true beauty in a partner but I digress. Hit me up with thoughts.

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