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 Author Thread: Can I have some help?
 Tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Can I have some help?
Posted: 11/9/2014 10:50:19 AM
I don't think you should cut your hair, not if your hair is part of your identity. Any woman who wants you for yourself will love your hair and you shouldn't have to change yourself to be with them.
 Tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
My Heart is Breaking...
Posted: 7/11/2011 8:19:37 AM
I'm so sorry to hear this - I really hope they catch the killer soon. This is devastating as well as very frightening to have something like this happen in your neighbourhood. Accept you are grieving - I would maybe see a counsellor to help you come to term with what has happened.
 Tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Would you assume that foreigners are less educated?
Posted: 7/11/2011 8:08:17 AM
I think the person who said this must be a bigot and it suggests he/she must be uneducated. There is no truth in this whatsover - most foreigners are taught English in school and can speak English fluently, yet how many British/American people can speak other languuages? This comment is blatantly prejudiced and should have been deleted, for the simple reason that some people are very easily influenced.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Hip to Be Square?
Posted: 6/24/2011 3:40:14 PM
Always be true to yourself and the values you believe in, because the right person for you will share those values. It may be a little harder to find that person, but nothing worth having is ever easy to obtain. Good luck! :-)
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Bald or shaven headed ladies.. styleeeeeee
Posted: 6/22/2011 4:43:12 PM
Sinead O' Connor looked beautiful, and so too can women who have had to lose their hair because of cancer treatment; it's brave and beautiful all at once, but it does depend on the woman's face shape, personality and style. My view is it suits the rare exceptions, and some women do look exceptional. It all depends on the person! :-)
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 27 (view)
 
what age should ur daughter have her own room?
Posted: 6/22/2011 4:27:01 PM
I would get a teacher at the child's school to confront this issue sensitively and with confidentiality, but it seems very odd to me. It is always better to step in if you have doubts than do nothing!

It'a good the majority are so trusting, but the facts are sexual abuse usually comes from a relative. It may be perfectly innocent, but it may not. It's better to be safe than sorry. How would you feel if it turned out to be abuse and you felt you stood by and did nothing? As I have said, tell a teacher and let them decide whether to do anything. At least then your conscience will be clear.

Most young girls like to appear grown-up and sharing a bed with Dad is, in my view, either very childish and could lead to teasing from classmates, or very weird!
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
what age should ur daughter have her own room?
Posted: 6/22/2011 4:24:40 PM
I think she should have her own room now, if only because it would seem very childish and a bit weird for a young girl of 10 to share a bed with her Dad. It could lead to her being bullied or teased at school. Also, she needs privacy to grow and develop. Mum and Dad should share a bed, not a Dad and his 10 year old daugher!
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
How do you stop procrastinating?
Posted: 6/12/2011 6:46:45 AM
You know how you feel when you've got some job you just don't fancy doing (like ironing, hoovering, whatever it might be). How do you keep on top of doing the things that you hate, because they have to be done, like it or not. Anybody got a particularly good strategy so you don't end up leaving it and then having a burdensome day when you have to tackle it all in one go?
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Crafty telemarketing scams
Posted: 6/12/2011 6:43:08 AM
danynadaze, your email gave me a giggle on a crappy, freezing cold day over here. It's annoying because these things just literally pop straight up in front of you, and sometimes the only way out seems to be to close over down. Yes, I wish they would prosecute them? It's like the equivalant of a marketing person in the street who won't get out of your way...yet they would be fined if they persisted, unlike these sites!

My game? ....just to warn people. A foreign friend of mine recently got conned by those scratch cards where they tell you that you've won, then you win a premium rate phone number and find you get more in phone bill costs than you have won. There is always a catch!
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Crafty telemarketing scams
Posted: 6/11/2011 3:24:11 AM
There are so many ads on the internet which say things like 'Answer these simple questions and you could win a (leading brand) mobile' etc. What they don't make so clear is by doing this you could also quite easily end up signing for unwanted subscriptions and/ or get harrassed by telemarketers! Usually you can only enter the competition if you consent to them and all their suppliers contacting you. Not really a win/win situation - more like exploitation of gullible people!
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
I feel so angry!
Posted: 6/6/2011 6:22:13 PM
daynadaze, you might be a stranger but you sure have a way with words and how to cut somebody deeper when they're already down. I might know some of the answers, I might be a drama queen, but I just feel really lonely and let down - I just want to vent off some steam!

I'm a sensitive person (which some would say means drama queen). Yes, I'm hurt, because I thought this woman was my friend. I've known her a long time (over 10 years), and its only in the past few years her drink problem has got bad, along with her addiciton to abusive men. Yes, I feel pissed off and I want to vent it. I've helped this woman on numerous occasions, and I just want to get this prick on the phone and give him what for, but like all bullies he runs away when challenged, and she has gone incommunicado too.

I've seen alcoholics get better - my sister was one. I saw her get better and she's not touched a drink in 15 years. I'd like my friend to be the same - when she's sober, she's a nice person and we enjoy each other's company.

Who says you must get to a certain age and be refined, dignified, oh so Victoriana?

Well, sod that...if you don't like it, don't read it. It's 2 am here, I'm really upset and I can't sleep, partly due to a medical condition but it still sucks. I think some of you people just don't have much empathy - maybe you have such sortled and settled lives - good for you! It's not just this - there's other things on my mind. Why is it a crime to feel emotional? Some of us are emotional than others; we're all unique.

It's just that sometimes you think people are friends and they turn out not to be.I think age is immaterial, whether you are 7 or 70 or somewhere inbetween that's gonna hurt.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
I feel so angry!
Posted: 6/6/2011 12:12:40 PM
I've known my friend a long time....how can I just dump her? She's having a lot of problems - isn't the purpose of a friend to be there in the bad times as well as the good?I'm hoping she will come to her senses soon about this boyfriend, as there's a lot of other people who don't like him, and that includes her mum. I spoke to her today and she apologised for him; she seems almost scared of him.

What annoys me is she said he has had a nervous breakdown, as though that excuses his behavour.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
I feel so angry!
Posted: 6/6/2011 11:05:28 AM
Thanks Janet always. :-)
abelian, yes I am probably a bit of a drama queen at times and I like to have a vent. I'm just letting off steam...either that or I'll go round there and grab that jerk by the testicles - if can find any!! lol But seriously, I don't like being taken advantage of. I know how many times I stuck up for this friend and looked after her - it feels like she's throwing it in my face when she's repeating every remark her loser boyfriend makes, and yes it does annoy me!
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I feel so angry!
Posted: 6/6/2011 9:25:41 AM
Hmm, maybe you're right. It's just if this happened to me in reverse and my boyfriend said something nasty about my friend, I wouldn't repeat it. I wouldn't have know what he'd said about me if it hadn't been for her repeating it to me, and she also told a mutual friend what he said (and she told me) which makes me think she wants me to know.

I don't respect the guy, but whenever I've met him I've always been polite and friendly, so I get really upset when I hear he has been backstabbing me (it just seems such a nasty thing to do and I feel like I'm losing faith in human nature). I feel really down; I don't know why he dislikes me so much. It makes me wonder if other people share his opinion, yet they're just too polite to tell me. What do you think?

It's just that if somone is nasty to you directly without it going through a third party, it's easier to deal with, and you can challenge them as you would have heard with your own ears exactly what was said. Otherwise, it's a bit like Chinese whispers. As I said, when I did ask for her to put him on the phone, she refused to.

On top of all this, on the rare occasions when he and my friend are getting on, she talks non top about how wonderful she thinks he is - when I feel like strangling him!

How should I deal with this for the best the next time she lets on he has been backstabbing me?
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
I feel so angry!
Posted: 6/6/2011 8:14:26 AM
I rung there just now....I said he ought to tell me what his problem is with me and why he's constantly slagging me off behind my back. I feel really upset - I spoke to my friend. She said she didn't want to put him on the phone because "he has problems he needs to deal with". I think he's one big problem!

I told her if he says anything else not to repeat it to me, because it is just upsetting me.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
I feel so angry!
Posted: 6/6/2011 6:47:26 AM
My friend's boyfriend seems to be jealous of our friendship. He is very controlling to her, trying to dictatate who she should see and when.

I can't even ring and have a girlie chat with my friend without him hovering in the background, eavesdropping and demanding to know what she's talking about.

This is bad enough, but I now find he has been badmouthing me behind my back and has been calling me a nutter. (I am not the one who recently lost it and trashed his workplace). It hurts - he hardly knows me, yet my friend t0ld me he's always saying nasty things about me, and I also heard the same from another mutual friend.

My friend has a drink problem: I have gone out of my way at times to make sure she gets home unhurt when she's been unable to look after herself and I've always been there for her. Yesterday I could hear her boyfriend shouting in the background when I was on the phone, supposedly wanting to give me "advice" about a personal situation I discussed in confidence with my friend. (My view is she should not have told him). I hardly ever discuss problems with her, and apparently he was shouting that me discussing my problem with her was affecting their relationship. The thing is she rings me every day about problems with him: don't friends help each other? I told her, before hanging up and her trying to put him on the phone, I did not want to speak to him and he needs to get his own life in order before telling me what to do.

I think he wants to isolate her, but I feel that angry I feel like I want to ring him and ask him what his problem with me is, yet I think I'd be playing into his hands, as it seems like he wants my friend and I to fall out. She is always in tears over him anyway as he acts like a controlling bully; I've lost count of the times I've had to console her.

He is an alcoholic loser - he has been rude to me in person as well, which was totally unprevoked. I walked away rather than get in an argument with him. He has walked out of his job and my friend said he's had a nervous breakdown. I've had depression and anxiety problems myself but it's no reason to be so rude to people.

I've told my friend I don't like him and have told her not to try and put him on the phone to me again. How can I ride through this situation with dignity and not give in to his provocation, which would probably mean my friend siding with her boyfriend and me losing her friendship? I feel like he's deliberately trying to rile me up. I don't know why he seems to dislike me so much - I've always been friendly to him if I've seen him. I don't know what his problem his.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Did you know the Victorians took photographs of the dead?
Posted: 6/2/2011 11:34:41 AM
On the subject of taking photos of the dead (or dying), I heard very recently there are going to be these photos released of Princess Diana after the crash. How sick is that! Why can't they just let her rest in peace.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Did you know the Victorians took photographs of the dead?
Posted: 6/1/2011 12:21:30 PM
I know everyone has their own beliefs and I respect those. I understand that some people feel a sense of peace when viewing these photographs, and if you had no other photographs of a loved one, you may choose to have one of them deceased. However, if I had other photographs of them alive, I'd always prefer to remember them that way.

I guess it's very individual. I went to see a member of my close family after he died; although other members of my family found it kind of peaceful, and I went to accompany them, I did have some reservations and I found the experience upsetting. (I want to remember him as he was when he was alive and well). For ages I couldn't get that image out of my mind and I cried buckets.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 56 (view)
 
What do you do with a girl who's terrific and you're lucky to have, but you're losing interest in?
Posted: 5/31/2011 11:03:32 PM
Staying with someone just becuase you think they're a great person (but you personally don't fancy them any more) is not a good reason. You'll be acting more of a decent guy by letting her go, or is that because you might then realise there's not anyone better out there so you better hang on to her in some way? If that's the case, it's selfish.

Reading your post, it sounds like she's hurt but still hanging around, and you'd hoped maybe she'd make a decision not to see you...to relieve you of your guilt? Sorry, but if you want out properly it looks like you're going to have to be cruel to be kind.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Did you know the Victorians took photographs of the dead?
Posted: 5/31/2011 10:50:09 PM
Thanks for all the background info callmeken - I found it really interesting reading. It makes you really appreciate the advances in medicine and the privilege of being born in the 20th and 21st century. People complain about the NHS today, but it is a miracle compared to medical care in years gone by.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Did you know the Victorians took photographs of the dead?
Posted: 5/31/2011 6:13:14 PM
I read up about it, and they did it's because photos weren't readily available as they are now. The deceased photo might be the only one they ever had to remember their loved one. It's sad though; doesn't it make you appreciate what we have today?

gardenias, your post did make me laugh. :-)
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Did you know the Victorians took photographs of the dead?
Posted: 5/31/2011 4:09:16 PM
forum fishie...OMG, that's well macabre. I'm going to google that too though. lol
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Did you know the Victorians took photographs of the dead?
Posted: 5/31/2011 4:07:30 PM
It is interesting, but it also sends shivers down my spine. Don't you think it was cruel to make children who were still living pose with their dead sibling? They had to pose for ages as well, because photography speed in those days was so slow.

There's some pics of the type I'm referring to on the link below. One of the guys looks just like Count Dracula as well. (Don't look if you're easily freaked, because they are rather morbid).

http://cogitz.com/2009/08/28/memento-mori-victorian-death-photos/
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 43 (view)
 
can't eat, can't sleep
Posted: 5/31/2011 3:50:57 PM
ps It's called a break up because it's broken is also a great read. I hope you feel better very soon, but you have to give yourself the chance to experience life beyond your ex. See it as a brand new start, because he didn't deserve you. :-)

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Its-Called-Breakup-Because-Broken/dp/0007215592
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 42 (view)
 
can't eat, can't sleep
Posted: 5/31/2011 3:47:18 PM
I felt exactly like you after my first and serious relationship ended. I was devastated and we were also "friends with benefits". Trust me when I say that only prolongs the agony, and it took me a while to see that nobody who really loved and cared for my well-being would make me want to suffer unrequited love for his own ends. In the end I ended this arrangement, as I don't think he would have.

I think your boyfriend was a user and you're well out of the situation, but I reckon it will take you a while to see that. Surround yourself by people who are supportive and get the book 'How To Mend Your Broken Heart'. See link below: http://www.amazon.co.uk/How-Mend-Your-Broken-Heart/dp/0593050533

I wish you all the best. Look after yourself and treat yourself kindly, as though you were your own best friend. Big hugs. :-)
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 52 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/31/2011 3:39:56 PM
Hey Arlo, thanks for the support - really appreciate it. :-)
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Is this child abuse?
Posted: 5/31/2011 3:34:33 PM
I read about this. It's shocking isn't it. I think the mother must have mental health issues to subject her child to this. Poor kid, I really hope a relative or friend steps in and helps her.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Did you know the Victorians took photographs of the dead?
Posted: 5/31/2011 3:31:54 PM
http://listverse.com/2009/08/29/top-10-creepy-aspects-of-victorian-life/

As per the above link, see no 2, Memento Mori, the Victorians took photographs of people once they had died, with relatives as though they were still alive. When I saw the film The Others (the ghost film with Nicole Kidman), I found this really strange (and creepy) that they did this, and I doubted whether it was true. Anyway, I googled it, and it is indeed true.

Anyway, night night folks...hope you all sleep well. :-)
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Teenage present buying help needed
Posted: 5/27/2011 7:22:20 AM
Oh...I just saw your last post. Glad you got it sorted and hope she likes what you chose. :-)
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
Teenage present buying help needed
Posted: 5/27/2011 7:20:25 AM
I'd steer clear of clothes - go for perfume instead. Marc Jacobs 'Daisy' one is lovely, and the newest addition to the range with coloured daisies is apparently geared towards teens. Alternatively, try G of the Sea (it's one of the doll-style perfumes) which comes in a gorgeous mermaid bottle.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Does (or should) age equal wisdom?
Posted: 5/25/2011 6:46:33 AM
lulu 1402, it's the fact people are complete strangers that is the attraction, in my opinion. Sometimes it's useful to get different points of view but remain annonymous in doing so. The reasons? ... For me, it's because I'm quite a private person. Yes, I know it's very ironic to say that and then to post on a public forum. lol Secondly, I don't want to worry those I know. Thirdly, although I always have a gut feeling, I like confirmation. Added to this, I'm interested in people and how they think. I've studied psychology and I'm just naturally curious in what makes different people tick, how those differences mean they might respond to different dilemmas. I'm asking this question as a topic in general and not in direct reference to myself, for the reason I've just mentioned.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Does (or should) age equal wisdom?
Posted: 5/25/2011 6:45:45 AM
lulu 1402, it's the fact people are complete strangers that is the attraction, in my opinion. Sometimes it's useful to get different points of view but remain annonymous in doing so. The reasons? ... For me, it's because I'm quite a private person. Yes, I know it's very ironic to say that and then to post on a public forum. lol Secondly, I don't want to worry those I know. Thirdly, although I always have a gut feeling, I like confirmation. Added to this, I'm interested in people and how they think. I've studied psychology and I'm just naturally curious in what makes different people tick, how those differences mean they might respond to different dilemmas. I'm asking this question as a topic in general and not in direct reference to myself, for the reason I've just mentioned.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 46 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/25/2011 6:28:58 AM
Well, thanks for your honesty rain. Anyway, I'm not here to get into an argument and admittedly, you have made some fair points, so I'll take that as a bit of constructive criticism. :-) Thanks very much to every one of you who has replied; thanks for taking the time and I really appreciate it.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Does (or should) age equal wisdom?
Posted: 5/24/2011 5:14:36 PM
lol It's interesting though, don't you think? I'm interested in psychology...I'm interested in what makes people tick. We all have such diverse views as a result of our life experiences, and that's fascinating really.

I guess some people wouldn't dream of coming on forums, whilst some are on them all the time. Have you ever wondered why...what constitues the differences?
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Does (or should) age equal wisdom?
Posted: 5/24/2011 2:18:37 AM
I have noticed, in response to a couple of my threads (and other people's threads) people have made comments like "How can you ask that at your age?" lol (I'm an ancient and decrepit 44 by the way).

My question is: when you reach a certain age, should you have all the answers and have reached such a stage of emotional intelligence that you shouldn't have to question yourself or ask others opinions? If so, what age should this be?

My view: I view life as a learning experience, a learning curve. I think we're never too old to ask. We're put here on Earth with other people to learn from them, from their experiences. What are your views?
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 205 (view)
 
Is marriage a burden or a blessing?
Posted: 5/24/2011 1:46:30 AM
It all depends on who you're getting married to.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Giggs...pointless exercise?
Posted: 5/24/2011 1:38:02 AM
Pity footballers don't have brains as big as their salaries! They make me sick...they cheat, then think they can buy themselves out of the repercussions.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What defines a friend from an acquaintance?
Posted: 5/24/2011 1:35:35 AM
I think men are less inclined to shelve their friends when a woman comes along, than women are when a man comes along. lol

Both sexes should keep their friends, because no matter what their gender, if their only topic of conversation is their significant other it gets a bit boring.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/24/2011 1:27:24 AM
Hi....no, he's not a camera expert. He has quite an expensive camera himself, which he sometimes wears on a strap round his neck (which she may have seen when she met him briefly when we bumped into her). He enjoys taking photos but he doesn't use particular features of his cameras (even zoom lens) that much, so he's not an expert and he does not work in the photography business. In my opinion, she would get better advice anyway visiting a camera shop and asking a salesperson there. It just seems a really strange reason for needing his number, so I don't plan on giving it out. Thanks for all your replies. :-)
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Children that steal..is it the parent's fault?
Posted: 5/23/2011 7:30:43 AM
When I was little, I had a friend who regularly stole from me: money that I took ages to save, jewellery, friends. When I realised conclusively she took them and I hadn't just mislaid them, I dumped her. When we went out (even with my Mum) there, she stole. We went in a toyshop where they had lots of little toys in trays. We came out and her pockets were bulging. My Mum asked her about it and she went bright red but wouldn't empty her pockets. The strange thing? Her father was a policeman and she was from a respected family. I think they should have done more and they knew about her stealing as my Mum told them, but I don't know whether she ever stopped.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What defines a friend from an acquaintance?
Posted: 5/23/2011 7:23:12 AM
If you thought about this with your own social circle, would there be a clear-cut difference or would the boundaries be blurred? What if you were unsure whether you could trust someone over issues, maybe of confiding in them, or sharing personal information about yourself? Would you do so anyway and trust them till they prove you were wrong to do so? I'm talking about fairly new friends, with whom you don't have a shared past history. How do you know if you can trust them?
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/23/2011 7:12:19 AM
rain, if you've never talked about anyone (even a load of complete strangers) just to get a second opinion, then I commend you. The reason I like to have other people's opinions is because sometimes I don't trust my own, and I have been let down and hurt by people I've considered to be my friends in the past, and even by family. Maybe you have never had this happen, which is why you are so willing to trust at face value. It's our experiences that shape how we react to things, and I admit that yes, I do find it hard to trust people One gripe I have I suppose is that I've introduced her to a lot of people I know, and she's only ever introduced me to one person she knows.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/22/2011 5:05:08 AM
rain, she's a friend, but one I've not known that long and one whose behaviour to date has given me some reason for concern. (It takes a long time to build up trust, and especially when the person has already given you a few reasons to doubt them). I believe trust comes with time and is earned. I posted this following comments some of my other friends have made to me, because they are wary of her and think I should be also.

I am inclined to agree more with other posters: on reflection, I don't see why she needs his help to buy a camera (when he's no camera expert) and why she needs to buy it in his home town, which is miles away. If that makes me of poor character, well ok...so be it, but I'd rather be deemed to have poor character and to be cautious than be taken for a fool.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 38 (view)
 
How do deal with a woman who has commitment issues?
Posted: 5/22/2011 3:18:07 AM
Get the book 'He's just not into you' cos it also applies to guys. Basically you get on great, but she doesn't feel you have any potential to be "the one" so she wants you as a f**k buddy in order to have the good bits of having a boyfriend without the commitment, so she can be free to look elsewhere and not feel like she's cheating on you.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/22/2011 3:07:29 AM
AzureAngel, I'm happy for her to go to things myself, but as an example a friend recently had a Birthday meal and she just wanted a few close friends who she'd known ages there and to not extend it to be a big do if you know what I mean. My other friend obtained her number (from someone else, not me) and kept texting her trying to get invited along (she'd only met the person once). She then kept texting me saying she felt rejected, and I tried to explain the reasons, but it was a bit embarrassing.

Holly, I agree, it does seem a bit adolescent and I've thought that myself also myself. lol Nethertheless, it is a little difficult when friends don't get on as well as they might and are constantly bickering about each other.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/22/2011 2:26:03 AM
On the plus side, she is funny and entertaining. She's good company and she gets on with people and they have said they like her (when she doesn't overstep the mark).

She befriended another female friend's best male friend (who is also an ex of my other female friend) on Facebook, obtained his phone number and sometimes rings him. My other friend feels threatened and upset by this (she just asked him for his contact details the first time she ever met him on a night out) . She didn't ask my friend's permission. I know she doesn't own him and he's free to do what he wants, but it would have been nice if she had in the circumstances. She has also sent sent her male friend photographs of her and her boyfriend and my friend considers this a breach of her privacy. Her male friend and boyfriend haven't met and don't wish to meet each other (read they don't get on, although friend1 is unaware of this). My friend feels she had no right to send him photographs without asking permission. I asked my friend if she wanted me to confront her about it, but she said no.

I know this woman has had a tough life, especially in earlier years. Without going into detail, I know she has suffered rejection from close family. I think she's unaware she's overstepping people's boundaries to be honest, and I don't think it's done with malicious intent.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Met woman w. marriage on the rocks - please evaluate for me.
Posted: 5/22/2011 1:57:06 AM
You can't really do the him or me ultimatum as you haven't known her long enough. I'd give her your contact details, say you really like her and to only call you if things change and she has moved out and she and her husband have started divorce proceedings. Stay as a Facebook friend though as you'll be able to see what's going on in her life, but avoid chatting on there if you can. Just explain you don't want to get too close if she's not free to pursue it.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/21/2011 5:28:29 PM
They've met but only fleetingly about a handful of times, so she doesn't know him well, but has admitted to me that she thinks he's good looking. He is not in the photography industry either.
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
What do you think?
Posted: 5/21/2011 5:09:00 PM
A female friend of mine has asked me for my boyfriend's phone number. She said it's to help her with the sale of a camera. It sounds a bit unusual because he lives 60 miles away. I've not given his number (I wouldn't anyway without asking him), but I'm a bit concerned, because it sounds like a very weak reason for needing it.

I admit I can be prone to jealousy; I don't like the idea of her having my boyfriend's number and ringing him without my knowledge. She has also upset a couple of friends of mine (who I introduced her to) by being overly pushing in trying to obtain numbers of their friends (who she doesn't know that well and who have felt uneasy about giving their phone numbers out when they've only just met her).

What do you think her motivation is? Secoudly, how can I explain sensitively that I don't want to give her my boyfriend's number? Thirdly, how can I explain she needs to go easy when trying to obtain other people's phone numbers and getting inviting to social events which people may not want her to go to when they don't know her all that well. They are sometimes reluctant to include her because they find her pushiness unnerving , but then she sulks.

Whenever we are out, she seems able to talk very easily to people. She is very confident, able to approach pretty much anyone and talk to them. I don't understand why she needs to badger people in my social circle for phone numbers etc when she seems to make friends so easily herself...but then they don't seem to last that well. What do you think?
 tamzin01
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 89 (view)
 
When is it considered cheating?
Posted: 5/21/2011 3:57:40 PM
I think you should look at yourself before you look at him. What sort of friend are you to do this in the first place? If you were my friend, you would be history!
 
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