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 Author Thread: Being career/goal oriented is now a turn off??
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 23 (view)
 
Being career/goal oriented is now a turn off??
Posted: 7/29/2012 9:31:07 PM
Since I have been through a number of failed relationships during my adult life, I am probably not qualified to offer any advice .... but ....

I have a belief that most people on these dating sites are not completely honest with what they are looking for and biggest person that they are dishonest with is themselves.... and it is mostly about the concept of dare I say "instant gratification"....

We all know that a lasting relationship takes time to build up.... and a lot of effort as well.... I would be of the opinion that most of the women who you are having this "problem" with a looking for instant gratification....

Perhaps though, tone down your responses about career/relationship and what comes first... the two of them will intertwine so tightly in a real relationship that the career(s) can almost become third and possibly fourth parties to the relationship.... if kept in balance, I don't think that is a bad thing, really.....

My advice, keep looking until you find one who understands the time/effort/career/relarionship continuum(s).... after all, this site IS called "plenty of fish".

Good Luck!
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 22 (view)
 
question for jehovah's witness's
Posted: 3/18/2009 11:51:44 AM
Seems like perhaps the obvious is overlooked here..... most factories, warehouses, commercial buildings etc of yesteryear all had windows too...... few have them today though....... there are reasons for this..... maintenance cost issues, insulation vis a vis heating/cooling costs, lack of ability to provide adequate lighting in days gone by, vandalism issues etc.....

Or would most believe there to be a snister side as to why ...... and would the same conspiracy theories adequately explain the lack of windows in buildings other than JW places of worship?......
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Wise Advice Needed!
Posted: 3/18/2009 11:38:39 AM
Son,
I got a bit of Advice for you here...... this site is called Plenty Of Fish..... ever think of why that is so apt? ....... it is probably because it is true!

I had a daughter that was manifesting some of the traits you say this woman is showing.... well..... sa a young adult who was on her way to messing up her life, she came "home" to live with me for a while.... the rules of the house were still the same as when she was a teenager incidentally.... I, as the parent, would NOT put up with her bulls**t...... I had an employee/family assistance program through my employer.... we went a fair amount of times.... she started to see things from an adult perspective..... then she went bck to the drug abusing Mr Perfect that she was with on and off for several years prior to her coming "home"..... he had gone through drug rehab (for about the fifth time, I found out later)..... well....... she was back "home" in about 2 months...... and pregnant (but thankfully, if I can say that at all, not by the drug abuser .... and woman abuser as well, I also found out later.... she said she was afraid to tell me as it may have set off a war of sorts between our family and his family/friends and she didn't want me to go to prison) .....

My refusal to cater to her and her bulls**t is what I credit with her eventually coming around..... she is now just shy of 30yo , married to a decent guy who loves her and my grandson......

so, in your situation, I wonder about other enabling factors in the background.... i.e. - is her family also behind treating you in the manner that you have been treated.... do they want her married off to a "better man than you will ever be" etc?..... you may never know the answer to that..... and in the overall scheme of things, knowing may be of no real importance.....

I look at the way you describe yourself and I figure that you would be a good person to have as a son-in-law........ (but I have no more daughters.... sorry..... )

As others have said in this thread...... MOVE ON..... maybe to a new town or city.... there are still good jobs available in some of the lesser populated areas of North America..... mining towns and what not.... Empire, Nevada comes to mind..... seems like they are always looking for tradesmen there..... subsidized housing etc.... the places exist ....

and there are lots of good women out there..... figure this.... there are more than like 6 billion people on the earth today ...... just over half of them are female.... so like over 3 billion women..... if you are compatible with only 10% of them, that leaves 300 million women....... if 90% of them are married or otherwise unavailable, that leaves 30 million..... if 90% of them are not in North America, that leaves 3 million.... if 90% of them are not in the states proximal to you, that leaves 300 thousand..... if we take away 90% of those women for whatever reason, there are probably, within a half days commute, at least 30,000 women that you could choose from...... you mean to tell me that you want to waste your time with one who seems hell bent on batting you around like a ball in a polo game?.... but more like a head game......

MAKE A CONSCIOUS DECISION TO MOVE ON...... follow the advice in other posts.... block her number.... cut off all contact...... JUST DO IT!..... your future happiness and well being depends on it.

good luck son
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 11 (view)
 
My ex is pregnant and says its not mine ??
Posted: 3/18/2009 10:10:32 AM
Hey man..... I have an adult son who was in a situation with a games playing woman.... my advice to him was MOVE ON!!!! This site is called Plenty of Fish for a reason ....

I have news for you...... you are allowing yourself to be the quintessential player in a headgame ..... and you are the ball being batted around.... Is that what you want your future to be?..... If so, keep doing what you are doing...... if not, MAKE A CONSCIOUS CHOICE TO NOT PARTICIPATE........... YOU DO HAVE THE RIGHT TO NOT PARTICIPATE!!!!!!! ....... BLOCK THE PERSON'S PHONE NUMBERS..... HANG UP IF SHE GETS THROUGH SOME OTHER HOW..... DELETE EMAILS..... MOSTLY THOUGH- IF SHE WAS GOOD IN BED, EXPUNGE THE THOUGHTS FROM YOUR MIND....... GET BUSY DOING OTHER STUFF......

IF A FEW HOURS OF SEX EVERY WEEK (or as time goes by... month..... or year) IS MORE THAN WORTH BEING A "BALL TO BE BATTED AROUND".... (and believe me, at my age I KNOW IT IS DEFINITELY NOT...... ) AND IF YOU DO NOT MAKE THE CONSCIOUS CHOICE TO MOVE ON..... i will pity you.....

think about it..... it sounds to me like her offering of good sex is as if it is a commodity to be traded for her right to bat you and/or other men around......

another question that comes to my mind is this...... is she really pregnant or is this part of the game too.... (THINK CONTROL FREAK ISSUES HERE...... WARNING WARNING!!!!!!)........

good luck son
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 33 (view)
 
Single 46 year old full-time Dad has a few questions.
Posted: 3/12/2009 11:50:47 AM
Hey man,
I was a single dad for a long time...... back before the days of the internet and me in a small town and all.... my first wife (rest her soul) was tragically taken from us and I suddenly found myself single.... and my little boy, who was 2 1/2YO at the time, was an orphan..... that was 30 years ago.....

I did meet someone, after about 10 years..... it never worked out well and ended badly.... I had two step daughters out of the second marriage, who, while growing up, hated me (at least they said so numerous times a week) ..... well, both those girls are adults now and, guees what.... they now call me dad..... when they visit town, they prefer to stay at my place, rather than their mother's place...... etc.

In my own experience, as I look at 3 adult children and several grand children, I honestly feel I was richly rewarded for the rough years I went through while the kids grew up..... and I will say that I do not know of anyone who took on step children that did not have rough years. I know that in my case, the deliberate dishonesty, the disrespect and the disobedience (amongst other things) that was the regular occurrence during those kids' growing up years may be something that others saw and shied away from and to this day, I feel that even had I known in advance, I am not so sure I would have done it!

The real deal is that a single parent comes as a whole package with the children.... what comes to my mind is the introduction that the son of the current vice president of the USA gave for his father and mother (step mother to be exact) ..... where he talked about losing his natural mother and some time later, when Senator Biden remarried, he referred to it as we (him and his siblings and his father) married our mother..... I have been curious to know if she knew what she was getting into when she married Joe Biden.... she should be an inspiration to a lot of us, really.

I guess I am rambling here.....

So, I am going to make a guess here..... my guess is that a lot of women that would be interested in a guy like you are, in all likelihood going to feel the same way about this as you do...... anything from feeling low in the self esteem department to perhaps being terrified at the thought of another relationship. The ones in the terrified category will need to get over that first but the ones with self esteem issues, as long as they are not deeply ingrained and all abiding, usually come around when they see a guy as being friendly, honest and decent. The helluvit is, those of us who have failed relationships in our past all have self esteem issues of one sort or another..... so, holding that against someone is, in my opinion, wrong.

I really do hope that a lot of people on hre read all of the threads of this topic and dust off and bandage up their bruised egos and just make contact with other people, if for no other reason than to make a few more friends.

And, I see that one of your interests is motorcycles.... too bad you don't live close by 'cuz I would say get your bike out, bring your kids and their riding gear over..... put one of your kids on the back of my bike and lets go riding..... matter of fact..... from what I understand about your area and the gazillion miles of highways and byways, it's too bad I am the one who lives so far away.

take care and good luck bro'
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Motorcycle Riders in the North Okanagan - A Bike Run?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:40:39 AM
So..... looking at the events calendar..... the Salmon Arm Stomp is on July 18 to 19 - a Friday and a Saturday.... there may well be a number of people from the coast attending and interested in a long ride back to the coast on the Sunday June 20. ..... I don't know what route to suggest at this point...... the stomping grounds to Falkland for coffee..... or meet at Falkland..... go to Kamloops thru Barnhartvale road.... over to Merritt on hwy five A... whoever wants to can take off for the coast from there..... anyone left over..... out to spences bridge.... all other people can leave for the coast from there.... and BTW - this is a motorcycle road......the remainder of us ..... would go to Ashcroft, cross the river and up the mountain to Highland Valley.... I think the Lac Lejeune road still exists (and that is a motorcycle road too) and will get us back to Kamloops..... I think I need to confirm that either by scouting it myself or talking to someone in Kamloops. ..... or both...... BTW anyone want to go scouting today.... before noon?

I had originally posted to find out if any female non riders may have some interest in being partnered up with male riders..... ( I somehow just do not think there will be a lot of non riding males wanting to ride on the B**** seat behind female riders - I could be wrong tho' ) whoever wanted to take a passenger ..... could do so..... It will be your own responsibility to pair up.....

'til later then
hdryder
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Motorcycle Riders in the North Okanagan - A Bike Run?
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:19:43 AM
Well.... really now..... whoooodathunk...... i think it helped to get it deleted tho'....... twas a pretty good way to make a poor first impression.......

All that aside ..... some momentum is starting about a run tho'......
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Motorcycle Riders in the North Okanagan - A Bike Run?
Posted: 6/14/2008 10:33:50 PM
Anyway..... to chaps.... apparently the system will not allow me to message you ..... I do not have the same what I'm looking for interests.... just friends is not one of them.... so.... I don't think I have such restrictions on mine.... maybe they are determined by POF though.... if you want to yack about a bike run, you will probably need to message me.... several of my friends at the coast expressed interest as well..... maybe a half dozen from the coast want to ride up here for this one...

keep us posted.....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Motorcycle Riders in the North Okanagan - A Bike Run?
Posted: 6/14/2008 10:25:08 PM
This post is to let the moderator know that the info he provided is much appreciated..... when a few of us decide to do one..... we will get this going in the manner described.... we may just get 20 or 30 people out.... you never know....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Motorcycle Riders in the North Okanagan - A Bike Run?
Posted: 6/14/2008 10:11:33 AM
Are there any riders interested in a bike run? Seems like lots of you POF people, both male and female, ride. Seems like of s few women i have corresponded with, several non riders may want to passengers on a run.....

Let's get some real discussion going here.
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 33 (view)
 
if a relationship isn't living up to expectations
Posted: 6/11/2008 11:20:46 PM
You know..... you have all touched one one crucial thing in any and all relationships........ communication...... the big question is..... are you effectively communicating?

First tho'..... yeas .... the serious converastions should have taken place at the beginning...... and DO NOT LIE about your hopes dreams and expectations..... be honest...... if they do not meet up with similar ones from a prospective SO........ just move on ..... without a song and dance....

If you hear yourself saying to your SO things like youdo this and you don't do that and I am not having my expectations met because of what you either do or don't do..... I have news for you........ you ARE NOT effectively communicating...... you are blaming..... laying on guilt trips etc........ deal breakers - all of them.....

and (to you guys especially)...... can you say things like..... I am feeling lost .... bewildered..... I do not understand how what you said fit with the converation I thought we were trying our best to have...... or does this show vulnerability(weakness, perhaps) ...... so.... instead ....... accusations get made in anger......... remember..... anger is NEVER.....I repeat.... NEVER..... the first emotion we feel...... it is the mask emotion for what we are really feeling..... the inability to understand, the loss, bewilderment.... etc...... we generally use anger and say.... stuff like geez....... you really p*** me off with your stupid childish blah blah blah...... instead of ..... maybe...... I don't understand....... before this turns into a p***ing match..... please...... explain more clearly ....

when us beer swilling, sports watching, gut stuffing, outdoorsy dudes learn how to do the above, we may just find out how to meet the needs and expectations of the sweet women who believe in us...... and it really should only be a matter of ...... tweaks to your relationship at this point....... if a massive overhaul seems to be needed...... go back to what I said at the start ..... ask youself if you were honest..... chances are, you were not.....

so ...... save everyone a lot of trouble..... just be honest fro the get go.....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 93 (view)
 
Anyone got back with their EX before??
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:36:33 PM
how many of us have not done this?..... I was counselled by so called experts .... and I did...... it was deja vu all over again after about 2 months..... and the laws are on the female person's side..... in the end we had a haulocostic meltdown..... it cost me everything plus a bunch....... it was definitely NOT worth it. I received some advice a few years too late...... I will share it with you all........

Has your ex (guy or girl) ever performed oral sex on you?....... if yes....... think about this........ he or she also did with the person they cheated with....... ask yourself if, knowing that, can you ever french kiss that other person's mouth again? ..... my answer was NO....... too bad the religious know it alls who counselled us did not have one person amongst them who knew to ask this question.......
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
what would you do if she said one thing but did another?
Posted: 6/11/2008 10:25:26 PM
Okay.... now.... I want toa sk any and all of you...... one question....... A Person says one thing and does something different tha what was said......... what is the difference between that and being a LIAR!!!!!!!????????

I say NONE!!!!!!!!

think about it........ and I hope that the big head did the thinking here ...... have a great day all of you

signed by the harley guy ( hdryder)
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
what do i do?
Posted: 10/30/2005 11:09:23 PM
My gawd lori..... you are the same age as my first wife (rest her soul) was when she was pregnant..... and i wanted her to be pregnant and I wanted the baby..... our love life was the absolute best during the time she was pregnant... i always figured she was giving me the love of two people.... its now 29 years after that ..... I lost her when she was 23 and my (our) son was 2 1/2 y.o..... I still miss her.... yer man does not know what he is missing ..... I think that the fear factor in this must be huge for him....and you too.... I don't know what else to say.... if you need help.... counselling or something.... try and get it... I just know that if you were my lady..... you'd be loved and the baby would be wanted....

I hope things work out for you... take care
hdryder
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 60 (view)
 
Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 10/26/2005 7:06:53 PM
well...... me again.... and to the ones of the female gender, I think you have heard from a lot of men that women have done this too.... and you've heard it from me as well.....

I read through a lot of the posts here and came to the stunning realization that miscommunication is still alive and well..... in other words- people do not say what they mean or mean what they say - many people get irate when they receive this treatment but on the other hand believe that doing it to others is somehow their god given inalienable right. And like, where does this belief come from? I look at the opinions and "truisms" that have been posted here and in other forums and what people (of both genders) have stated as if it was fact is nothing more than mere speculation, supposition, opinionating, probably nowhere near the truth, definitely not the facts and, as such, completely, totally, unequivocally dishonest, because, frankly, if you do not know the facts and you state opinions as facts, you are, in all likelihood, not telling the truth, because you don't know the truth,( which is dishonesty in and of itself!) Therefore, how could you state the truth, if you don't know it?

I am not, I repeat, I am not, saying that the originator of this forum wasn't dealt with dishonestly ..... she may well have been ...... but I was not there to see what all went on and whether or not assumptions (remember the word assume contains these - ass....... u..... me...... the word seems to have the connotation of making an ass of you and me) were made that weren't stated or whether things were said that weren't meant ......... so I will not profer any opinions as to the nature of the man she is complaining about.... I do have my own personal opinions about being told that tho' and as far as I am concerned, was I told that, I would conclude that I was being let down gently and would move on....

funny thing is tho'..... I had a female (more than) friend for a while.... she told me her life story and that there was a guy who was on again off again, and that when she split with me, she was going back to him..... one exception to the "rule" so far in my life..... hmmmmm.....

Helluvit is...... we are probably all guilty of doing this in one way or another...... I will share something with you all...... I told a woman once that my son(who is now 28yo) needed my full attention from me at this (a former, many years ago) stage of my life and I had to chose between her and my son (and, of course, my son "won")..... it wasn't really true, it was a way of getting out of a relationship that was not what i wanted.....

anyway...... you all take care and remember to: "Say what you mean, mean what you say, but never say what you mean in a mean way."

Part 3 of this is the hardest part; but if you do (work very hard on doing and applying) this, your life will get simpler, believe me!

take care all....... hdryder
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 29 (view)
 
What is with these profiles??
Posted: 10/23/2005 1:50:16 AM
i dunno what the real answer is to this question.... i aint picky .... if any female, lady, woman, girl, etc wants to go riding or cruising with me or wants to hook up in reno or vegas...... well i wanna know her.... and not for her brains or whatever ..... cuz friends are a good thing to have....

i think a lot of un conventional things about how people make relationships work..... and i figger that should be a topic for the experts to share with us....


take care now huh?
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Does anyone else suck at talking on the phone?
Posted: 10/23/2005 1:42:04 AM
hey all...... wow ..... some of my best friends are talking about this one....


you know what?...... i sorta think we all do this... me though .... .dammmmmmmmnnnn..... i am gonna talk your ear offf tho'..... 'cuz like if i stop talking, i will denintely be exactly this.... have you lost a (what you think may be a ) good potential person from this?....


maybe if this is a problem, suggest meeting in person..... now we all know your secret and you cant use this as an excuse ofor not meeting us .....
you all take care now huh?
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 38 (view)
 
Why Do Men Do This?
Posted: 10/23/2005 1:35:20 AM
wow....... how many times have i heard this line in my life,,,,,,,,,, even from an ex wife who cost me everything plus a bunch.... and who was the mother of my two beautiful girls.....

my spin is ...... do you really want to know a person like this?...... in my case.... i think not.


hey ..... the world is a beautiful place,,,,, yuh just gotta look for the beauty sometimes.... deal with it and move on.....
c'mon....already.....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Am I the only man on this site, who is not afraid to admit that he has paid for it?
Posted: 10/21/2005 7:55:43 PM
to those who say the moneys no good , don't / won't pay etc..... obviously never been married and gone thru a divorce- 'specially not from a cheating spouse.....

I probably had sex on average a couple of times a week for about 12 years with the first ex wife ..... her "going away present" was in the neighbourhood of a quarter of a million dollars.... i paid....... big time
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
now what am i to suppose to do
Posted: 10/21/2005 7:48:58 PM
and one thing , bcman..... if you get up to the north okanagan.... i know it's a ferry ride away and 350 miles (or 600kms to the younger canadians)..... there are a few p of f people up here.... let us know you are coming here ..... a pitcher of beer or two will be on me and we can all shoot pool, play darts, get stupid ..... whatever.....

take care bro'
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 144 (view)
 
Men posing with cars
Posted: 10/21/2005 7:39:43 PM
so.... sharon1968..... if i posed with my 1974 chevy vega, would you think the same thing as you stated as fact in your post?

to some of you others..... you all seem to be forgetting one fundamental thing..... guys don't go to the photographers.... usually the pics they have are taken by other people.... i know that mine are ....and what i posted is one of two digital pics i have of myself on my computer....

and to the guys that are arguing over who has the bigger penis...... oops .... did i actually say that?.... i meant- the faster car...... my chevy vega has probably gone a lot faster......
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
now what am i to suppose to do
Posted: 10/21/2005 7:01:55 PM
and to mama tiger zloved, to drink away the pain is not a good idea

i think he was using this as an illustration and probably meant something else ......

like possibly going out and finding another woman......
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
now what am i to suppose to do
Posted: 10/21/2005 6:58:19 PM
hey bcman...... it sounds like this must be the first bad one in your life.....

ben...66 is telling it like it is.... and I also think the same as blaskkist .....(btw- hi blast)

needing space usually is a euphemism for I want to try on another partner......

my advice... get off the rock.....

really tho' ..... i feel for you.... my life got turned upside down when my first wife died suddenly... it isn't exactly the same ..... it sure is final- let me say.... knew she wasn't coming back... worse in some ways tho' than a split up... but ..... i had to carry on- i had a son to raise...

you need to get busy doing stuff .... any stuff that isn't self destructive.... get your sleep, take your vitamins, minerals, herbals etc., eat correctly.... go out to sports events, find a place to shoot pool or play raquet ball, whatever........and just be real

and move on....

you can't possibly know how many people i have seen who get consumed by this sort of thing.... don't let it happen to you bro'.....

take care
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
What lyrics have you misunderstood???
Posted: 10/16/2005 1:05:00 PM
fishy.... it definitely was you sexy thing by hot chocolate

and panther..... i am glad to have both edified and entertained.... seems like my mission in life is to do those two things - simultaneously
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Dads..do you miss your children ?
Posted: 10/13/2005 8:52:49 PM
Hey all.... yah..... hdryder here...... I just have to add something from a slightly different point of view..... when my son was 2 1/2 years old, his mom, my wife, passed away.... I raised him alone for a lot of years.... just about 10 years.... there were a lot of times thru those years that I wished for her to be there for some of the things a little kid needs a mommy for. I knew tho' it was never to be..... and after a while, he did too....

From my perspective, I just cannot understand how people can be so vicious to one another so as to use the kids as weapons to inflict hurt on the estranged parent..... which so many of you decribe as your experience.....

one final thought..... my kids are all in their 20's and early 30's and grown and gone.... and I do miss them dearly a lot of times.... I have a flat rate long distance plan and I USE IT -believe me.....


you all take care now huh?
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Why do woman/girls like older men??
Posted: 10/13/2005 8:21:44 PM
hey all....... so like is this really true? I don't exactly have a long line of younger women coming after me.

So like..... this age stuff.... its mostly a number right? 'cuz if my late father is a reasonably good example, it sure is not a state of mind.... he was telling me i ought to grow up regularly up even just prior to his death.... my opinion of him is that he was always old but thats another story..... funny thing bout him is tho' - women did go after him .... and younger than him too...

well..... i keep thinking about something my oldest grand daughter said to me not long ago - it was a little long drawn out but the jist of it seemed to be how I could be her mom's dad and be about the same age as her .... go figure.... i know that numerous times, I have been taken to be the dad of my grandkids.... and maybe that's my answer as to why the girls aren't after me.... i don't look old or act mature??????!!!!!!

whatever.....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 109 (view)
 
What do you wear to bed?
Posted: 10/12/2005 9:26:28 AM
You mean by this that people actually wear stuff in bed????

whooda thunk?????
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 156 (view)
 
kissing after oral sex
Posted: 10/11/2005 9:04:34 PM
the way i see this .... if you put your prick there .... you would put your mouth there....

any woman who would give me oral sex would also get it from me ... unless its the time of the month and i have never heard of a woman who would demand that....

so like when you copulate and your love juices mix together..... it always sort of seemed to be a celebration of something pretty fantastically intense and wonderful....

and when you give each other oral sex..... its like lets mix our love juices together one more time..... i would kiss any woman who gave me a blowjob.... and in all likelihood she would be getting back some of her own too.
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 92 (view)
 
Men posing with cars
Posted: 10/11/2005 8:15:22 PM
Hi all.... well I have been following this thread a while now..... I see some of the women on here seem to be beyond making up stories based on the picture..... some are still only too willing to state a lot of crap as if it is fact (ladies- I call a willingness to do that nothing more than dishonesty!!!!!!!)

So let me state a thing or two about pictures and posing..... I have exactly two digital pictures on my computer with me in them.... both are posted here although one is hidden....

I have a number of pics that I guess i could scan in and burn to a CD somewhere.... so .... what would you ladies with the problems with cars in the pics like the backgrounds to be???

I will give you several choices.... first..... a pic my ex wife took of me from the top (you can't see my face------ 'cuz it is buried in ...um... her beev)

second.... me asleep.... third...... me in my coveralls and hardhat at work..... forth...... me on the ride on lawn mower...... fifth ..... me pig dirty with roofing material residue after redoing the roof.... there are a few others too.... none any more or less appealing than the possiblities offered.

It's like this for me... I have not been to a photo studio in about 30 yrs..... most of the pics that show me dressed up seem to have an ex spouse in them...... I am not literate enough with computers to edit pics or even scan them in.... so like what you see is what you get

and if you ladies want metro sexuals..... well - pass on us guys who do guy stuff and go for the girly men then.... i won't be missing you, if that is your inclination

I have a feeling that the real women here won't be offended by what I just said
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 18 (view)
 
What lyrics have you misunderstood???
Posted: 10/11/2005 7:55:05 PM
Hey all.... hdryder again....

panther..... you want to know all about hedgerows? It's british stuff check out this website:

http://www.naturenet.net/trees/hedgerow/

In Britain, they take their hedgerows seriously !!!!!!!!

In an earlier post, I think it was you as well, a song "I Believe In Miracles" , my first wife (rest her soul) misheard the lines this way:

I believe in mankind- wearin' a bra........... you sexy thing....

Anyway........
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 17 (view)
 
What lyrics have you misunderstood???
Posted: 10/11/2005 7:40:37 PM
Here is one more that I recalled..... Herb Alpert (and the Tijuana Brass of course) in his one and only known vocal arrangement.....

You see the sky....... the sky's in love with you.....

I figured it out after a while but.... if you ever hear it again, in all likelihood, you will now laugh.... if you didn't before
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Caught my girl cheating on me...
Posted: 10/9/2005 1:02:31 PM
Hey all..... & brokenheartedonce..... sounds to me like this is the first big one for you.... anyway.... I watched myself go thru this more than once, watched all my kids go thru it too... nothing makes the pain go away except time and the knowledge that friends are there for you... in my own case, a serious spin doctoring seminar i went to a few years ago put things into perspective.....

anyway.... the world is full of at least 2 kinds of people.... those that cheat and those that don't cheat.....

the trick is .... find someone from the second group... move on... 'cuz anyone who cheats on you is not worth wasting any more of your precious time on...

take care
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 36 (view)
 
Till death do us part
Posted: 10/8/2005 12:34:45 AM
Whatever the reason, we have a unique and sometimes gleeful
way of irritating the ones we love most.

This is an interesting thing to say..... why should it be that way, tho? i have had that accusation thrown at me a few times .... well maybe not those exact words, but the same concept... and I seem to do a forensic analysis, so to speak, on what prompted it....

I am a lot dismayed that people get irritated by the presentation of facts sometimes... 'specially when they have been dishing out things that are other than fact....

I have always felt that the most important thing in a relationship is recognizing boundaries between oneself and the significant other..... and then the being honest part takes care of itself... when these two are balanced (as best as we possibly can, anyway) I have always felt that a relationship can, should, does, will (whatever) get relatively easy at this point and then we won't be irritating the ones we love the most....

I sort of have a feeling that everyone - the couple married for 75yrs being no exception, who has a workable relationship has got to some level of this...

you all take care now, huh?
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 61 (view)
 
is it just me or are men terified of women with babies?
Posted: 10/5/2005 8:29:21 AM
This is the hdryder again.... (hi missq4ever- howyadoin?) I was looking at the posts since the last time I sounded off....

to hunor..... sounds like you got toasted man.... I got some advice for you.... the mother of your own natural children can be just the same as well....

If you look back at my first two posts, you'll see I was a man in that position...

My second wife (an ex for 6 yrs now) had 2 girls that i inherited..... and while I was the resident step da d, I was the evil monster from hell or something.... I presume that I stood in the way of them and total fullfillment in life..... for those years, IT WAS THE MOST THANKLESS, FRUSTRATING TASK I EVER PERFORMED!!!!!!!!!! Knowing the out come tho', I WOULD do it again....

The girls are both grown and gone now and a funny thing happened.... we have become best friends .....'specially since both of them now have kids of their own.... and they have had it hit them that all i was trying to do was look out for them.... they call me dad and to their kids, I am the granddad and i love the girls dearly.... i would do almost anything for them....

but to any and all who will listen..... apparently raising your own children can be about the same thankless task. there are no guarantees about any of this.... 'cuz you are dealing with human nature here and everyone is different ..... and there are no instruction manuals (and even if there were, how many of us would say that the instructions don't apply to ME?)

Take care all
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Have you hated your ex so much at one time that you wished death upon them?
Posted: 10/3/2005 9:38:46 PM
I think a person really needs to be careful what he or she says in a forum like this. In retrospect, I do not think I actually wished death upon her.... and hatred is a bit too strong of a word to use. I told her once that i hope she lives a long, poverty stricken, loveless, bleak and barren of happiness life and I still feel that way, if i allow myself to think about it.

At my daughter's wedding a few months ago, she came up to me and wanted to talk and actually touched me.... i recoiled- literally and asked her if I knew her.....

nuff said
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 67 (view)
 
Men posing with cars
Posted: 10/3/2005 7:38:58 PM
wow..... is the knowledge about lack of penis size due to x ray vision FemmeB........ ? A very remarkable and rare trait, I must say..... I know if i had that ability, I would use it in other ways than on a post about trivia like this.....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 15 (view)
 
How to pick up a guy????
Posted: 10/3/2005 7:29:50 PM
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 14 (view)
 
How to pick up a guy????
Posted: 10/3/2005 7:28:58 PM
Hey blast.... i sort of think that if the pics you have posted accurately depict the person that would technically be coming up to me to say something like what this thread is all about, (in a phrase, you are a very pretty woman) I sort of think that I would be a bit bewildered to say the least. And I would probably fumble the ball pretty badly, so to speak, 'cuz what we are talking about just doesn't happen to me..... and if it ever did, I somehow do not think I would ever clue in that you may actually be interested in me....thus.....the man club... laugh:
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How to pick up a guy????
Posted: 10/2/2005 8:10:38 PM
Hey girls.... this is a 2 way street..... and from this guy's point of view I don't have a whole lot of advice short of getting out your man club and whacking me over the haed and taking me someplace where you can get the facts out of me as to whether i am single or not and interested in you or not....

just kidding actually....

but really- I would probably not pick up on a subtle smile. I sort of think that a lot of guys- at least the ones that i know- are really looking for a woman who is interested in doing a few of the things that many women consider guy things....

I think what might work for me is something like, " Nice motorcycle.... I know nothing about them but yours looks nice.... (and be honest here- if it isn't true don't say it) The passenger seat actually looks like it wouldn't hurt to sit on it (and believe me, most guys with bikes would understand that statement). I'd really like to go riding on one some day"! Or substitute hot rod or 4 wheel drive truck or something.... and don't come across as anything but only interested in that and talking.... i.e. don't show extra cleavage or something.... it may send a wrong message.

then just ask if there is time to talk for a little while (cuz there may not be...) and for your safety- don't give your phone number..... have a web based (hotmail type) email address to give for a contact..... then trade a bunch of e mails and get confident first....

take care all
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 63 (view)
 
Men posing with cars
Posted: 10/2/2005 7:52:35 PM
So how did this forum start? Oh yah.... someone stated as fact the Freudian concept of penis size..... Don't some of you know that this Freudian stuff is largely fantasy on Freud's part and largely debunked by more modern if any more credible theories?

I, for one am not posing with a car..... I am on an unfinished motorcycle..... wanna guess why? No, don't guess- I will tell you.....

It is the only picture i have of me in digital form.... and since I don't have a scanner... and since the only pictures that I seem to end up in happen to have cars or motorcycles in them as well.... and I have not yet mastered the technique of taking my own pictures.... I am thinking that the person who started this thread with the Freudian theory will have to come up with a more elaborate theory to explain the phenomenon of why so many men and a lot of women seem to have other noticeable objects in the pictures with them....

the one thing about the world of psycho-analysis that I have observed is that there always has to be a reason either repressed or sinister behind things that to most of us just are....
but.... even Freud himself had to admit that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 12 (view)
 
What lyrics have you misunderstood???
Posted: 10/2/2005 7:34:49 PM
Did you know there is (or was) a website called www dot kissthisguy dot com devoted to this topic?

kiss this guy is miunderstood lyrics from a song performed by jimi hendrix Purple haze of course-

skuze me while I kiss the sky

my own personal misunderstood lyrics were from a Jethro Tull song... Locomotive Breath

and you shatch a rat screaming laskarettes... and I am still damned if i know exactly what he says...

I had a cousin (rest her soul) who, when she was 7 or 8 listening to Elvis singing I'm All Shook Up and singing along -

Im in love - ah maw shuh pok .... and then telling her mother who was trying to correct her:

"Oh mom- you don't know. You don't like Elvis" ...... go figure....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 9 (view)
 
My ex has found someone, I'm not handling it well
Posted: 10/1/2005 7:59:44 AM
Hey Soulfishy, This sort of thing is a 2 way street. I believe that what you are feeling is the finality of itreally being over is setting in. A few years ago, when my marriage of 12 yrs ended, my ex (who had a history of screwing around- some I knew about, most I didn't 'til after and only one she admitted to) moved out and in with her next Mr. Perfect the same day. I knew it was over and done.... she still didn't get it tho"...

I will tell you one thing- if you had the ability to stick to trying to save the relationship for that long, I take my hat off to you. you would be a person worth knowing 'cuz i think that trait would show up in other areas too. I also think that most other men (and women)would agree on that.

You didn't say how long ago this occurred. You need to remember that you have recently been through seeing an 18 year long episode of your life- an episode that you, in all likelihood put your heart and soul into.... and then you see the ex seemingly without effort move on... you have probably heard many people say give it time, time will heal the hurt. I know it will but it still hurts, right? I was told by more than one person who claimed expertise that it takes about a year for every year in a relationship to get over its demise.... I think there is truth in it and even when entering a new one the healing process is still ongoing. The new partner has to be aware of this and in agreement eith it too... and, face it, at our ages, who isn't hurting from this sort of thing? Isn't this what we refer to as baggage?

I also think that what you really need is a few new friends to do stuff with. Accept a few invitiations out for coffee, pizza and beer (if you drink at all), a trip to the drag races or camping or something..... I do not think you are ready to get involved sexually tho' as you still seem to have a very high value on the relationship aspect.... keep that high value... I think you will be glad you did.

If you want to talk to people, e mail some of us who posted to this.

I think you are a person of great value.
take care girl...
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 59 (view)
 
I need some advice please.....
Posted: 9/30/2005 9:13:24 PM
hi Angellicbaby and everyone.... following the thread here I see a lot of people must have been thru the drill you are now learning to deal with---- for the first time- cuz i don't think it will be the last. I feel for you girl.

I want to share a little something from a long time ago in my life- my first wife died- there was no chance to pick up the person and rebuild a relationship. And the only thing that helped me to heal was keeping busy- very busy.

I am going to guess that before you met the guy, you had hopes, dreams, aspirations and ambitions that got put on the back burner, so to speak..... revisit some of them maybe.... and above all else be real with new people that you meet.

I learned something a few years ago that changed my life.... it sort of goes like this... the event (any event) is over when it's done. It cannot be undone or changed. The only thing that keeps the event alive is the story we tell and maybe keep telling. It is like plugging in a video and watching it..... it always ends the same way. It is neither right nor wrong to do this.... it is just what we as human beings do. The pleasant memories are in the same category as the unpleasnt ones.... the mind plays them the same way. Now the trick here is that once the event is over, the event has no more control over you.... your life may be forever changed but the event is not controlling you. There is only the story you keep replaying in your mind after that... and only your belief that the event is controlling you is what keeps you from moving forward.... so..... we all have to learn to unplug the video...

It is easy to say and hard to do.... believe me I know.... but being aware of this and attempting to live by it (remember- you only fail when you give up trying) will help in taking you forward again.

You take care girl.....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/26/2005 8:15:07 PM
so do you notice how so many people say they want honesty and the like? why is it then that so many people flat out refuse to use websters dictionary definitions of the words they are hearing or saying? if you find yourself or someone you are speaking to often using the question, "what do you mean by that?" is it not time to do some self analysis and figure out if you are or if you are not speaking in riddles, euphemisms, doublespeak or the like....? or if the other person is doing so... it should be a no brainer, really

the example i like to use is to say, "The sky is blue". You can say this to a lot of people. You will get many responses.. perhaps yah, it reminds me of what the sky looked like on the flight to hawaii, or it sure would be nice to be out on the lake, or riding a motorcycle etc. but somewhere along the way there will be a person who will say, "And what do you mean by that? Are you trying to say I am blind and stupid? YAH! THATS EXACTLY WHAT YOUR SAYING ISN'T IT!!!! etc etc"

where does that come from? can't it mean just what it means according to the dictionary?

but to the person that would respond this way, he or she in all likelihood uses hidden meaning, sarcasm, ridicule and perhaps even overt threats of physical harm as (in their own eyes) rightful methods of communication.. i try to stay far away from these typee, myself...

it is an extreme example but it does happen... personally, i do my best to live by the following:

say what you mean, mean what you say, but never say what you mean in a mean way...

it is difficult, i don't always get it right; but it is a pretty good way to try to be.
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Define comunication?
Posted: 9/26/2005 6:26:27 PM
communication ... it's pretty sadly lacking in our civilization...mis communication is what most people pass off as communication...

how about simply this: say what you mean, mean what you say, but never say what you mean in a mean way.....

the third part is absolutely the hardest part.... and for many people, they will never get through either the first or second part.... from those people i generally keep my distance

i have not mastered this completely especially not the third part.... i am working on it and getting pretty good at it though...

anyway- who can make you (or me, really) live by it? another sentence that i hang on my refrigerator.... ten words.... all two letter words, which we all know and use....

if it is to be, it is up to me
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 1088 (view)
 
Word Association IV
Posted: 9/10/2005 8:57:45 PM
3 ta loo
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 13 (view)
 
For those who are hermits tonight! :) yay...
Posted: 9/10/2005 8:50:16 PM
I definitely took some down time tonite... I was away all week.... riding to the vancouver area and back.... got soaked and pretty chilled on the way home.... today, I had a bunch of stuff to do the the house where I am living ... and i just got a new scanner so i am playing a bit with that tonite... i was actually going to ride to kelly obryans in kelowna tonite but the rain here made me think otherwise.... gonna be an early nite i think.... to many late ones all week
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Why do women say one thing and mean another
Posted: 9/10/2005 12:41:57 AM
so like ya ever heard of political correctness bro' ?..... it was not invented by men. there is only one thing tho.... be honest.... which DOES NOT MEAN TO TELL ALL..... it means to only say what you mean within the boundaries you set.....

oh yah.... and one other thing..... be a bit of a badass..... most women will always want to change that.....just don't ever let 'um do it..... at least not completely.... when they get ya completely **** whipped ..... well..... their work here is done......
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 25 (view)
 
I Still CRY at Night ALONE!!
Posted: 9/10/2005 12:23:16 AM
Hey.... I am in your age group..... you put on the strong act in front of the kids.... and at night.... you do that..... i know.... i have done it too....

it takes a long time to get over it too.... keep the chin up bro'..... the world depends on people like you.... your kids will always love you ...... they are your world right now.... you will find a better person than their mom.... it takes a while for sure, but it will happen... be brave....
 hdryder
Joined: 8/27/2005
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Abandonment
Posted: 9/9/2005 7:07:13 PM
Hey missy..... hang in there girl. I just wanted to say about the lawyer stuff.... it may go against your grain- I think it would on mine- but where I live (I don't know about your jurisdiction), if a woman puts down for father's name on the birth record unknown, it works out to much the same thing. My first wife (rest her soul) and I had a very good friend who did just that.... she met a good guy too... and it made the adoption easier........ yah - he wanted her baby....
 
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