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 Author Thread: Dating vs Long Term on profile
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Dating vs Long Term on profile
Posted: 12/10/2014 7:14:46 AM
While your ultimate goal may be long term, you have to date someone first to make that determination. I don't think there's ever a time when after one date/meeting you immediately launch into forever.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Age restriction?
Posted: 12/8/2014 4:35:09 AM
"Dating a woman 10 years younger makes you a perv? So if a 69 year old man contacted you he would be a perv? If you date a 49 year old man does that make you a perv? Some people need to grow up. At 59 if you haven't grown up by now you never will."

You're comparing apples to oranges, Thompson. Of course a man 10 years older than me wouldn't be considered a perv. A 30 year old man checking out teenagers, however, is a perv.

And I imagine the ones defending OP are probably also grumbling that they can't contact teenagers.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Age restriction?
Posted: 12/7/2014 7:32:34 AM
What's wrong with you, OP? You're a freakin 30-year-old man. What exactly do you have in common with a teenager? Oh yeah ... they're HOT, right?

And FYI, the age restriction is there to cut down on pervs like you trolling for school girls.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Guys with long hair, yay or nay?
Posted: 12/4/2014 2:20:13 PM
I'm of the generation when the Beatles had long hair lol And I grew up in the 70's when every guy had long hair. I didn't like it then and I like it even less now. Especially with men my age, a pony tail and a bald spot is never a good look.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 13 (view)
 
A harmony experiment
Posted: 12/3/2014 10:00:15 AM
Wow, your luck on eHarmony is impressive, OP. I was on there for 6 months years ago. Got only one match who lived close enough to meet. We met and he positioned himself where he could see the TV at the restaurant and barely spoke to me through dinner. I tried engaging him in a conversation, but all I got were grunts. Never heard from him again (thank God).

Met another guy on match. He "forgot" to tell me he had a 3-year-old (we were both in our early 50's at the time. We spoke on the phone one time before meeting. We both had grown kids. He NEVER mentioned the toddler.) He rambled on ad nauseum through dinner about his "hot" ex who was an aerobics instructor. He wasn't with her anymore because she wouldn't leave her husband ... talk about a waste of time and money.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 12 (view)
 
How many profiles here are fake?
Posted: 12/2/2014 7:48:27 AM
There's not nearly as many fake profiles on POF as the pay sites. There's nothing to gain -- no one is paying to be on here.

I do think all-in-all, there are more fake female profiles on sites mainly because men are suckers for a pretty face or the "hot chick" ... y'all know it's true lol That's how they keep the payments coming in on the pay sites -- just toss out some new bait and everyone re-ups ... like chum to sharks ;)
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Work hard, play hard. WTF does that even mean?!?
Posted: 12/1/2014 9:26:22 AM
Weird. I don't look at women's profiles as a rule, but that's a phrase that's very common in men's profiles. It's usually accompanied by a guy sitting in a recliner next to a table full of pill bottles and might include the phrase "can you keep up?"
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 3 (view)
 
sleeping sex / somnophilia
Posted: 12/1/2014 9:24:58 AM
I'll just say this one time: No one better wake me up when I'm asleep unless the house is on fire. Or it's Mark Wahlberg wanting to have sex ;)
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 13 (view)
 
my guy still has his POF account
Posted: 12/1/2014 9:23:03 AM
I don't know what to do....why is he doing this"

A. I don't know what to do: Show him the door and remove the welcome mat from your back.
B. Why is he doing this?: Because he can. It's the internet. These sites are full of men (and women) like him.

Why are you bothering to talk to this guy about your "relationship"? I'm not even sure there is a relationship. While you may be dating him, he's not dating you.

As a side note, when he asked for the picture, you should have sent him your picture LOL
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Does anyone else see relationship length as a red flag?
Posted: 11/29/2014 12:18:21 PM
By the time a man is my age and his longest relationship is under 5 years, that always gives me cause for concern. I also notice these men message a few times and then disappear. Which probably explains the lack of lengthy relationships.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 533 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/29/2014 12:15:26 PM
To anyone joining this thread, the original topic was lost about 10 pages ago. Perhaps someone should start their own thread instead of hijacking mine? Thanks!
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 2 (view)
 
What's The Most WTF Thing A Family Member Has Said To You About Being Single Over The Holidays?
Posted: 11/24/2014 5:46:31 PM
"So, I hear Charles Manson won't be single for the holidays ..."
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 432 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/23/2014 6:58:28 AM
^^^You have a blessed day. Try to be happy, OK?
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 431 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/21/2014 2:26:11 PM
Slave, huh? Well, I've lost all interest in his FWB offer, but I do have some heavy lifting he can do ...
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 3 (view)
 
How much do you want to know?
Posted: 11/21/2014 11:42:09 AM
I don't really think it's a good idea to pry too much into someone's past. If they volunteer information, that's fine. But honestly, who's going to admit to cheating or anything else that wouldn't cast them in a unfavorable light to a new person?
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Love story or nothing at all
Posted: 11/21/2014 7:03:20 AM
Hmmm, let's see ... mediocrity and no love or happy & single?

I'm choosing happy & single every time :)
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Dating and Medical Issues
Posted: 11/20/2014 2:15:35 PM
It's the people with sick minds we should be wary of. They're way harder to detect.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Dating rate
Posted: 11/20/2014 12:36:43 PM
^^^Your statements are 100% correct. In the beginning it was very exciting to go out and meet new people. And honestly, I thought finding a boyfriend would be easier than shooting fish in a barrel -- I mean, look at all the choices! So, 7 years later, I'm still here -- as single as I was the day I joined lol But I'm quite OK with myself and being single now and know that the right relationship is definitely worth waiting for.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 19 (view)
 
How to build a relationship with a widower?
Posted: 11/20/2014 11:32:34 AM
That's a tough question, OP. I've run across the same thing several times and no longer agree to meet widowers. For some reason, no matter how bad the marriage may have been, once that person passes away, they're elevated to sainthood.

At first blush, a widower with happy memories who really loved his wife seems ideal. At least you know he's capable of going the distance and will in all likelihood love you just as much. In my experience, men have a much harder time letting go than women and that "ghost" will always be prevalent in the relationship. Then there's the problem with the grown kids. A lot of them never accept someone taking mom's place and are very resentful. I'm only speaking from my own experience. I admire anyone who can compete with the ghost and occasionally win. I am not that person, but I wish you luck.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 30 (view)
 
Dating rate
Posted: 11/20/2014 11:26:44 AM
When I first signed up about 7 years ago, there was a period of time when I had a date every night of the week. I wasn't very discriminating, didn't ask enough questions and went out with pretty much anyone who asked. Over the last several years, I've averaged about 6-8 dates/meetings a year.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 425 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/20/2014 10:18:16 AM
"Well we could change the subject I suppose...What's the story between messenger 422 and the OP, did he ask her out and she refused? Seems like some bitterness between the 2."

If there's anger or bitterness, it was caused by 422, trust me. He's stalked and sniped about every post I've made since the beginning of time. I suspect it's because he's angry and bitter and it just pisses him off when people post about a date.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 420 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/20/2014 9:17:10 AM
"This was never more than an attention seeking post..."

You're so smart, Tsar. Why aren't you out curing cancer instead of wasting your boundless intellect in these forums?

LMAO
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 411 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/19/2014 2:19:08 PM
^^^Pay him no mind, bluemoon. He's harrassed, sniped and stalked me from the time I started participating in the forums. I'm tired of rebutting his nasty comments. I've decided he's not really worth the effort. I don't believe half the crap I read in these forums and if he chooses to not believe my story, well, I can't really concern myself with small minds.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Dating without physical attraction
Posted: 11/19/2014 12:54:51 PM
Gonna have to agree with Mr. Gorilla here ... while I love intelligence, I'm not having sex with his brain ;) It's kinda gotta be the whole package.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 404 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/19/2014 11:33:41 AM
"Do you still hear at all from Mr "offered a FwB but never followed up?"

Yes, all the time. He texted me first thing this morning ... "hey gorgeous" ... WTF?
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 397 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/18/2014 2:16:38 PM
^^^I did meet a new guy. And I thought he was great. And he thought I was great for about a week, then he decided I wasn't so great. Oh well ... rebaiting and regrouping ;)
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 175 (view)
 
Has anyone had a good relationship with someone on POF?
Posted: 11/18/2014 1:47:16 PM
I've been on POF for 7 years and have yet to have more than 2 dates with anyone I've met. So, yeah, anyone who has some magic dust they can toss my way it would be appreciated lol But all the guys I've met are still here too -- I guess they just weren't looking for me :(
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 6 (view)
 
How long should I wait before I assume she's not interested?
Posted: 11/14/2014 7:02:14 AM
I don't really know if women follow that dreaded "3-day rule" -- even in answering messages. But I know on the rare occasion I message a guy, he generally won't respond for at least 3 days if at all. Occasionally I notice they're on-line and if they don't respond, I assume they aren't interested and give it no further thought. But then I might get a surprise message a week later.

I agree with many of the other posters -- keep messaging other people you're interested in, since there really isn't a "connection" at this point.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 322 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/12/2014 1:50:45 PM
"Something most unusual is taking place here, we have people actually talking sense in the POF forums. Must be some unusual alignment of the stars."

I noticed this too. And considering I'm apparently the pariah of the forums, I'm surprised it was my thread that caused some sort of intelligent conversation to fire up.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Is there such a thing as a Hairy fetish for you girls?
Posted: 11/12/2014 8:51:54 AM
I'm not sure if it's a fetish, but I think a man should look like a man so I like a moderate amount of body hair. I'm just gonna laugh if he waxes everything -- not into that 10-year-old boy look. My ex looked like Sasquatch but he did finally agree to letting me shave his back. Unfortunately, I think shaving his back made the hair everywhere else go wild.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 8 (view)
 
Do any of you do background checks on people you meet?
Posted: 11/11/2014 10:05:21 AM
I'm not suspicious by nature, but I've done a couple of random checks on the local court website if what they tell me doesn't add up.

So far I've uncovered 3 married guys, one guy with drug charges and one guy with a restraining (very recently) filed against him.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 302 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/10/2014 9:43:57 AM
"I'd also recommend avoiding the Forums while in a bad mood and/or under the influence of alcohol !"

Well, I don't drink, so no problem there. And I'm rarely in a bad mood on my own. You're right about taking the high road though. And with no moderators now, this place is just becoming total chaos. It would be nice if we could be helpful and supportive of one another instead of snarking and tearing each other down every chance we get. And I, for one, will make an effort to do that :)
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 299 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/10/2014 8:59:42 AM
"One always has the option to ignore snarky people."

I agree. And I've done this more times than you know. I've noticed a pattern with some of the particularly nasty posters that they seem to think if they brow-beat people enough that they'll go away and stop posting. I guess that fulfills some part of their self-righteous soul to "run the forums" ... so childish.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 296 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/10/2014 8:24:28 AM
^^^I'm not really a mean person. But all the snarky comments and nasty posters puts me in defensive mode. I guess all the nasty, hateful people think I'm going to roll over when they start blasting me ... lol
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 294 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/10/2014 8:08:24 AM
"Maybe if you wanted to take a cheap shot you should have done it on page 1 through 4 like others did."

Touche', bluemoon.

But look at her profile -- all the fun pictures of the fun places she's been.

I guess being on disability pays better than working.

And there's your cheap shot back msg. 306 ... I hope I kept the big words to a minimum so you could understand what I said.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 291 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/7/2014 11:24:38 AM
^^^I know for a fact he has no wife or girlfriend because I know someone who works with him and has even been to his house. And he knows I know his co-worker. I don't know why he continues texting and emailing me. I rarely respond and if I do it's just to be nice -- nothing suggestive.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 288 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/7/2014 9:58:43 AM
Eric, I have not. Like I said, it's not really my thing -- it sounded like it might be fun for about 5 minutes. The guy I mentioned in my original post is still emailing and texting me things like "hi pretty lady" ... but makes no mention of the FWB relationship. I'm not really sure what he's thinking but don't care enough to ask I guess. I've met someone else and it seems to be going well so far and he's not interested in FWB.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 286 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/7/2014 9:24:44 AM
OMG ... is this thread still alive?

Kill it already lol
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Older single parents with younger kids?
Posted: 11/7/2014 9:14:17 AM
Interesting thread. I encounter more than my share of men my age with very young children -- the products of a much younger wife who eventually left them for someone their own age [according to what I'm told]. I don't subscribe to the theory of "just because you can doesn't mean you should" [fathering children in middle-age is what I'm referring to]. I'm just curious how many of the men posting in this thread are victims of the younger woman syndrome and will be paying child support until they die? And if you could have a do-over, would you still father a child in your 50's?
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Do you read profiles (fellas)?
Posted: 11/6/2014 2:10:58 PM
"I'd be interested in seeing one of the women here come up with a similar list of things they see on guys' profiles..."

Some of the things that make me groan:

1) I work hard and I play harder (blah blah)
2) Most people think I'm 15-20 years younger (Where can I get one of those magic mirrors?)
3) Can you keep up? (He's generally planted in a recliner surrounded by pill bottles)
4) I'm Athletic ... um, since when is a beer gut "athletic"? Hoisting a beer can isn't considered exercise.
5) I'm looking for a good woman (Who's looking for a bad woman?)

I'm sure there are more, but I'm at work lol
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Do you read profiles (fellas)?
Posted: 11/6/2014 12:31:44 PM
I'm interested to read some of the answers you'll get. I don't think I have anything negative in my profile. It's short, but I think it says enough. I don't want to read a novel and I'm sure you guys don't either. I'm really leaning towards no one reads them because at one time I changed mine that made me basically sound like a psycho cat lady and the messages I got were still along the lines of "nice pic" -- which kind of tells me they didn't read the profile or they would have been terrified lol
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Dating a Man without a Car
Posted: 11/5/2014 8:22:01 AM
Well, first, I have to ask why don't you have a car? If you lived in Manhattan or somewhere that wasn't practical to own a car, I'd understand.

There's a man I know who's been asking me out literally for years who doesn't have a car. He rides a bicycle everywhere he goes. It's not a cash flow problem -- he just doesn't want the "hassle" of owning a car [he says]. And while I don't mind driving occasionally, I don't want to do it all the time. And I'm long past the age where riding on the handlebars would give me a thrill. So, although he's a nice guy, I'm not going to date him for that reason, as shallow as that sounds.

Frankly, I don't care what kind of car you drive -- it can be a Maserati or an old pickup, but if you live in the suburbs, you NEED a car to successfully date.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Vegans/Vegetarians
Posted: 11/4/2014 11:57:16 AM
I met a guy from POF who was a vegan. And while we only went out one time, him ordering dinner was a nightmare. He wanted to know practically all the ingredients of everything on the menu so that he didn't waver from his vegan lifestyle. I didn't know he was a vegan before we met and HE chose the restaurant which didn't really cater to vegan/vegetarian lifestyles.

Personally, I have no problem with vegans/vegetarians/freegans -- whatever your lifestyle is. I just don't think that would mesh well with my life.

And honestly, once I started looking at the guy, he had kind of a pasty complexion and didn't look all that healthy. He was a doctor ... too bad I'm not a golddigger lol
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 2 (view)
 
older women younger men
Posted: 11/3/2014 5:08:14 AM
Well, I'm not a dude, but my opinion is that most of them are looking for an easy lay because we're "desperate" lol Of course, there are plenty of male golddiggers out there so they look for established older women. And let's face it, there are a lot of lonely older people out there who are vulnerable to younger people seemingly attracted to them.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 221 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/2/2014 5:47:56 AM
^^^Oh look, my stalker is back LMAO
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 220 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 11/2/2014 5:29:16 AM
OMG look at all the insanity I missed while I was on my date last night ;)

I'm glad I can find something better to do with my Saturday night ...
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 56 (view)
 
Is she judgemental?
Posted: 10/31/2014 1:48:39 PM
It's her issue, OP. There are plenty of educated idiots walking around. I work for a few of them. My daughter has a master's degree in counseling and was determined to only date men with an equal education. About 6 years ago she met a great guy who's a bartender and all I heard was "but he's a bartender!!!" Well, you know what, that guy who was only a bartender turned out to be the greatest guy she's ever met. They've been married for 4 years and are super happy :) He has recently stopped being a bartender and has moved on to a better job -- but it was his idea, not hers.

You're successful and happy in your career. If someone can't tolerate that, that shouldn't concern you.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 204 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 10/31/2014 12:52:24 PM
^^^There are plenty of forums I participate in and make relevant comments. However, if you think I'm going to be silent while a bunch of puffed-up hypocrites slam and dissect every comment I make, you're dead wrong. What kind of person doesn't defend themselves when being attacked by a bunch of strangers. Some stranger than others for sure.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 199 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 10/31/2014 8:53:37 AM
"Admit it my dear... when you didn't hear from him and wondered why you ........sulked."

I'd love to argue this with you, but I don't argue with fence-posts.
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 192 (view)
 
If a woman agrees to a FWB relationship ...
Posted: 10/30/2014 1:13:04 PM
^^^I'm not quite sure how you picked up that I was "sulking" ... or is that just your personal spin on my story?

I assure you, I'm not sulking, worrying, crying or begging the guy for sex.

I wasn't asking to get my "ego stroked" ... I merely thought it was odd that the guy didn't follow through when given the opportunity. I personally think he might have been rendered speechless and actionless when I agreed to give it a try. I'm sure it wasn't the answer he was expecting.

I really wish everyone would stop interjecting their own story lines in these posts.
 
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