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 Author Thread: Child support while she is at University
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Child support while she is at University
Posted: 8/8/2009 9:13:15 PM
I live in Canada and know this one pretty well...A lot will depend on what you have set out in the child support order. If it stipulates that you pay while your child is in university, then you are obligated to pay. If the agreement does not specifically stipulate that support continues until the completion of post secondary education, then your obligation in that are ends when your daughter hits 18 years old, or gradutes high school. As for paying for university, if your daughter has to apply for student loans for school both parents incomes are taken into account for her eligibility for student loan. Also, if it is stipulated that you are to pay until the conclusion of post secondary education, the support is payable to the parent, not the child. That being said, I am sure that there are ways to compromise this. In my case for example, my ex is responsible for support until our children complete their education, however...if my children are not living at home while they attend school then I would forward an allowance to them and bank the rest. One comment earlier was bang on when she mentioned about University students and their ability to manage money *LOL*
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 18 (view)
 
Children's safety...
Posted: 7/9/2009 5:38:04 AM
If the children requires a trip to the Emergency Room, they will not refuse him treatment. The mother can call in the medicare number later, or she will be charged for the visit. Due to confidentiality, the children's doctor does not have to release that information, and Medicare will not issue two cards to two separate parents for security reasons. The mother is the custodial parent, and that is why she is issued the medicare cards. It is important however that the children's father be aware of any medical risks such as allergies, but for all practical purposes he does not need the medicare cards or numbers for his children to be treated.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Boy Code
Posted: 7/4/2009 6:53:35 AM
As a single mother, I teach my boy no differently than I do my girls. To have self-respect, integrity, honesty, respect and so on. Single mothers have a wonderful opportunity to raise men of depth, substance and moral fortitude. These boys will someday grow into men who will be husbands and fathers, so I believe that it is important to raise them with these qualities. My son is not feminine at all, but he does respect women, he is affectionate and is not afraid to show it to the women in his life. He has been taught that his feelings matter, because he needs to understand and respect the feelings of others.
I believe the expectation we place on our children is unattainable. For me, there is a lot to be said about not genderizing how we raise our children, but to raise them with a basic human morality and respect for our fellow human beings, with the ability to show compassion and understanding...perhaps if more people did this, the world would be a better place.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 5 (view)
 
Young and having to deal with a tough decision...
Posted: 6/24/2009 7:16:05 PM
Neither one are financially secure, both seem very immature and he has indicated to Jen several times that he is not ready for the responsibility of a baby, and from what I have read, neither is she. There were clear indicators of this BEFORE she got pregnant. The baby deserves a chance at a happy life, so at this point given the situation of the mother and the father, it sounds like the only possibility he/she will have is if the baby is put up for adoption. A baby will not make him change, a baby will not make an already bad finanacial situation better, and a baby will not change a relationship for the better. It is time for Jen to acknowledge that it is time for her to move on.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Anyone read Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man?
Posted: 6/4/2009 7:24:09 PM
I have read the book, and really liked it. I do not agree with everything he said, but I do love the humour that he brings to the dating issues. I also agree that on many points he seems to be bang on...love the Cookie! :0)
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Lavender baby lotion for boys?
Posted: 5/14/2009 12:33:30 PM
There is no truth to it at all. I have a wonderful 16 year old son who was bathed in Lavender Baby Wash with no physical side effects. It does help young children sleep and relax, so...use it! :0)
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
If you left Ireland where would you go
Posted: 5/10/2009 2:16:54 PM
Irish men are more than welcome in Canada! We would LOVE to have you here. I may be in Ireland in few years to find work, maybe I can find myself a good man there, something about that sexy accent.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Please give me some opinions
Posted: 9/15/2008 10:39:39 AM
Thank you for the suggestions, I have made some adjustments!
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Please give me some opinions
Posted: 9/14/2008 6:30:41 PM
Hello,
I was wondering if I could get some constructive help with my profile please? I am not sure where I have gone wrong with it, so any help would be greatly appreciated! Thanks in advance!

 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Am I shallow???
Posted: 8/14/2008 4:06:33 AM
To quote Largecat "but the sub concious tells us men if the woman could not handle sticking it out with the natural father what chance do you have !!! "

Being a single mother does not indicate that she could not handle sticking it out with the natural father. The reasons for single mothers are varied, and many times beyond their control. I might add that there are many single mothers who are in that situation because the "man" could not handle sticking it out. As for raising another mans child, I would have no problem with it, it is a matter of the individuals who are entering into that situation and their maturity and dedication to making it work.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 40 (view)
 
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 2:05:38 PM
I am truly saddened by many of the responses and frightened for my daughters future, if the comments here are any indication of what she is going to have to face in her lifetime. From experience, I can tell you that medication, therapy and love and support does help people suffering from this disorder. An individual who does not take responsibility for their treatment, is quite different from someone who is responsible and works hard to keep their bipolar manageable. My daughter's bipolar is inherited from my ex-husband (her father), whose bipolar was not diagnosed or managed until after our divorce. At her age, she is learning to recognise the triggers, knows the importance of taking her medication, maintaining a healthy diet, getting the proper amount of sleep, and finally, the importace of therapy. As a family, we are dealing with it by understanding the disorder, and ensuring that we have a support system in place to help us in our effort of helping our loved one. Unfortunately, with the media, people are inundated with negative messages regading bipolar, and placing all people suffering from it into one basket...a negative one. I can assure you, my daughter is intelligent, articulate,talented and a productive member of her school and family. She is moody and cycles often with her bipolar...but it is part of who she is, and she is a part of who we are as a family. I am very blessed to have her in my life and I would not trade her for anything...bipolar or not.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 36 (view)
 
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/6/2008 7:05:59 AM
To Quazi 100:

"Best of luck to you and your daughter in the future.....you are a loving, compassionate Mom...."

Thank you so much for your kind comment. This disorder is indeed painful for the one affected, and trying for those around them. I see the discrimination and lack of understanding that my daughter faces everyday, but I am confident that with love and understanding, we will be able to educated people about this disorder, and provide a place of understanding instead of fear and misconceptions.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
she has been diagnosed with bipolarism
Posted: 8/5/2008 5:14:07 PM
Actually your assessment of bipolar is inaccurate, and perhaps you should check your facts before you speak to something you obviously know nothing about. My daughter who is 9 has been diagnosed with bipolar, and while it is difficult she is not psycho, delusional, or think that people are after them. She is not negative in every way, and no..she is not violent.
It is when people who do not understand this disorder give advice that keeps the misconceptions about it ongoing. Medication does help with the episodes of depression and mania, and cognitive therapy and family councelling helps also.
Many times people diagnoses with this disorder are told to "get over it," I know this because family members have stated it about my daughter. I simply respond that you would never tell someone who has diabetes or high blood pressure to get over it, and bipolar is no different.
It is when people do not understand the disorder, do not understand how to effectively deal with someone who has the disorder, and when people label these people that such a negative stigmatism is attached to them. I can assure you, they can live normal, healthy and happy lives when they are in control of their bipolar, by ensuring that they keep their appointments, regularly take their medication, and apply what they have been taught to manage their depression or mania. The other key is that these people need love and understanding, and if it is a family member suffering with this disorder, it is your responsibility to learn everything that you can about it, and to find a support system for yourself. This is a physiological/psychological disorder that affects the release of chemicals in the brain. The best advice I can give anyone who is affected by this paralyzing disorder is...PLEASE find a support system for you and your loved one...and KEY to this is, learn everything that you can, learn the triggers and signs of an episode and most of all, lots of love and patience...and PLEASE stop labelling them as psycho etc. As someone who has a loved one affected by bipolar, I find it offensive when you do.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
serious advice needed
Posted: 8/4/2008 12:59:40 PM
Something is very off here, and I feel like parts of the incident are being left out. CPS and the police would not break into a home unless they truly believed that there was just cause, and as indicated by some other posters, I was also confused as to why you would leave an emotionally immature child home alone. I was also questioning your decision to go out and dance when you had this situation going on in your home. As a mother, I am aware always of where my kids are and who they are playing with, especially my youngest who is 9.
Having worked with CPS, I can tell you that there is much more to this situation that what is being said here in this forum. On a first call intake where it has been deemed that it was just two children experimenting, this drastic of action is not taken. Also, even in cases where abuse has been established, it is (regretfully sometimes) not common to have a child removed from the home, especially if the accused and accuser are not living in the same residence. I am also wondering what authority CPS has to move an individual from a neighbourhood? It truly does not make sense. At any rate, I hope that out of this your family receives some much needed councelling, especially your young son.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 6 (view)
 
serious advice needed
Posted: 8/3/2008 4:48:51 PM
CPS will interview both parties and then close the case, so nothing to worry about. I always think that it is better to call than not, because as someone stated earlier, things like this can be symptomatic of a bigger problem. Something that raised an issue with me is that you stated that your 8 year old daughter can't be there now because of the investigation, if this is a first time call it is not normal that they would request that your daughter be removed from the home, especially if it was just innocent touching that occured between the two boys. I am also inclined to believe that if this has been an ongoing issue with the other family, the investigation will be centered there...which leads to confusion about your daughter being removed. Personally, I suggest that you get on the phone first thing Tuesday morning and enquire on the progress of the investigation, if it has progressed that far there is reason to believe that something more may have happened, especially if it has gone past intake. Best of luck, I understand what it feels like to be in such a position.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 25 (view)
 
Should I tell my ex's parents shes a pathological liar?
Posted: 7/31/2008 3:36:03 PM
People need to remember that we are only hearing one side of the story here, and the truth probabally lies somewhere in the middle. Call it a lesson learned and move on with it.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Change in teenage son
Posted: 7/25/2008 6:11:38 AM
Holy Moly!...Are you raising MY son? *LOL*...I have many of the same problems with my 15 year old son, without the girl issues at the moment *halleluja! I have talked to many friends and co-workers who have gone through the same thing, some call it "man-training," but I think that is selling men incredibly short. Personally, I think it is the process of growing up and trying to seek his own independence. While it is not fun, and you feel like some alien has invaded the body of your once sweet, innocent little boy, I can assure you it is normal. The place where I draw the line with my son is in his respect when he speaks to me, there is no wiggle room there! My son has never brought up the idea of going to live with his father, but should it come up I would let him and let him come back home...once! I helped raise my teenage nephew who got into the habit of changing homes whenever the going got tough, and for years he bounced around....HUGE mistake! In real life, they can't always keep moving where they think the grass is greener...you have to live with the decisions you make, with maturity and independence comes responsibility.
I wish you the best of luck with your son, I truly know how you feel...I will keep you in my prayers.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 109 (view)
 
Guys asking to meet with you immediately
Posted: 7/24/2008 6:20:26 PM
I have had the same requests, some make it pretty clear what their intentions are, and I tell them that I am not interested. Others, I just tell them that I am not comfortable meeting them that quickly, and they either understand or they dont. A lot also depends on the kind of conversations we have had, I would never meet anyone the first night we started to talk, but would consider meeting after a bit if our conversations compelled me to think that there could be something worth persuing with him.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
when should you introduce a new partner to your children?
Posted: 7/24/2008 5:38:05 PM
Maybe it is just me, and my experience...but until I know that things have good potential to go somewhere there will be no introducing my children to anyone. You have to be so careful with children, they are very sensitve to everything that goes on in their parents lives, and affected by the choiced parents make. The children and I are indeed a package, however...their mental and physical well-being is paramount in any decisions I make.
 TheVoiceWithin
Joined: 6/29/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Poor kid :(
Posted: 7/22/2008 9:43:58 AM
I noticed on your profile that you are an occassional smoker, which could be the problem if you are smoking a room/vehicle when your child is present. My two nephews both have chronic coughs, both of their parents smoke in the home and in the vehicle with the children. If medications are not helping, this could well be the problem. Best of luck!
 
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