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 Author Thread: Online World Different From Offline
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 130 (view)
 
Online World Different From Offline
Posted: 7/27/2015 11:50:00 AM
@Patchjoker: And even if those are accurate stats (which, I'd like to read for myself), what does that prove? That men send out more email? Is this a shocker to anyone? Even in the real world, it's a social norm that men chase women, so not sure what the big surprise is about that. And the low response rate, I wouldn't be surprised by that either. Think of all the women an average guy sees in real life a day, there might be quite a few that he's attracted to, there also might be quite a few women he encounters that are attracted to him, but the number significantly dwindles when you talk about a match. You know, where both parties are equally attracted to each other. The point is, you're not suppose to be attracted to everyone you come in contact with. So, it makes sense that response rates are low. And yes, the really attractive do have more suiters, but that's life. And life isn't fair. I just don't understand why some people refuse to understand that. Instead of working on themselves (because that's the only person you have control over) they whine and blame others for their shortcomings. Negativity will only bring negative things in your life. If that's the way you chose to be, than you can't expect different results. Look up the definition of insanity.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 127 (view)
 
Online World Different From Offline
Posted: 7/27/2015 11:18:11 AM
@patchjoker13: Really? Pew Research? Okay, please cite that article or anything that can verify the numbers you've just thrown out there. Do you not understand the concept of facts? Facts are verified and can be proven, so prove your stats! Otherwise, they're just numbers.

And I have just one other question, if you're bold enough to answer: are your failures at dating everyone else's fault or do you take any responsibility for you're inability to be successful here?
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 114 (view)
 
Online World Different From Offline
Posted: 7/27/2015 4:48:14 AM
@ patchjoker13: LMAO! I tell him to come up with better insults and the best this guy can muster is a mother joke? Really, that's it, bro? That's all you got? You are in your 40's and the best insult you've got is a mother joke? That' hilarious! =)

Why would I call the ladies liars about there being pervs? There's pervs everywhere, not just here. There are female pervs too. What's your point? You've got something against women altogether, bro? My whole thing with you is, that you're so bitter and angry about dating, and yet you still CHOOSE to be here. Then you make assumptions based on zero facts about the ENTIRE site as a whole as to whether people are having success. You're miserable, so you're assumption everyone here must be? Really? Bring facts into this than. Don't tell me to research, when you're making the claim. The burden of proof is on the person making the accusation. Bring in the stats on how many people are unhappy with their PoF experience. Not assumptions, guesses , or anything of like, but FACTS. You do know what that is, right? But, I know you won't because you can't. What you will do and seem to enjoy doing, is complaining and whining that he's not having success. It's everyone's fault, but yours, eh patchjoker13?

And dude, get OFF the internet once and awhile, that's probably part of your problem. Someone who uses the term "white knight" spends entirely too much time on the internet. You don't hear that term off the internet, thus you don't here everyday people using it, because they're not spending their entire life on here.

"You can attack me all you want, but the truth is I have dated more women that you two clowns realize. " Yeah, we all believe you, bro! No, seriously, we do! You're the man, that gets all the hot tail. You've got it all, bro! I mean, this is the internet, where everything that's written is true, right? LOL! What are you going to tell us next, that you're Bill Gate's long lost son? C'mon, man, if you have to brag about it, then there's more than a good chance it's bogus. But, do keep on tell us how much of a lady killer you are. It certainly is comical.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 112 (view)
 
Online World Different From Offline
Posted: 7/27/2015 2:31:06 AM
@patchjoker - Ha-ha...awe, did I upset you? =) C'mon dude, if you're going to make insults, at least try to make them entertaining! I know it's hard for you to make a rebuttal without making them, but do make more of an effort. (It's common knowledge, people that can't articulate themselves effectively always default to personal attacks.)

You have single and looking on your profile, which doesn't make sense if you're seeing someone. And for someone that has this "hot woman", you sure are angry and have a negative outlook. That woman has to be thrilled to be with a guy that's so bitter. I mean, you say you're seeing someone new and you're still ranting and raving about OLD? LOL! Why? If it didn't work for you, why are you continuously whining about it? How is that productive? It's not and you know it! People whine because they enjoy it. And yeah, I know you post here because you can, but, that's not what's unusual. It's the fact that you're so angry about dating, when you say you have something good in your life.

And what's your definition of success on here? Getting dates? Getting laid? Long term relations? Marriage? Everyone measures success differently, so how would you know who has success on here and who doesn't? Did you take a poll of the ENTIRE site of PoF? No, you're only using the forums to make that judgement. Yeah, you definitely see people complain in the forums, that's the nature of the forums. However, do you really think that the forum represents the masses? Millions of people are on this site, and I don't see millions of people in the forums, do you? So, is it really your contention that millions of people are here because they're not getting what they seek out of this site, whatever that may be? No, people are clearly getting something out of this site. Most people don't waste their time on things that are not netting them their desired outcome. Your point of view is illogical.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 94 (view)
 
Online World Different From Offline
Posted: 7/26/2015 11:56:06 AM
@ south_city: Agreed! I think once both parties take it off the internet and make plans for a date, it's definitely the considerate thing to do to tell the other party you're no longer interested in that date.

And yeah, I don't doubt the rude emails from people that don't get replies. For those that feel bad for not being interested, they send out the "no thanks" emails and they're often times met with rude emails also. That, or trying to convince them to give him/her a chance. It's a no win situation for the recipient . So, when faced with those options, most people are going to chose to value their time over being polite. I personally would chose my time regardless, but that's just me.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 85 (view)
 
Online World Different From Offline
Posted: 7/26/2015 9:57:35 AM
People make this too hard. Why are people getting upset about an unanswered email? Rejection is a part of dating. If you don't have thick-skin or can't stand rejection, then you have no business dating. Rejection happens to everyone, even the super attractive. Besides, it's not a popularity contest, you're trying to find someone you are into, and that's into you. That's it. Why would anyone would want a pity email or a pity date is beyond me. I mean, when you log on, and you see you have email, are you really going, "hmm, I sure hope it's a rejection"? No! So, why do you want people who aren't interested to email you if they aren't interested? So, you can persuade them? Desperation isn't flattering and isn't going to win you dates. A no response IS a response. It's a lot to ask people to return email to people they aren't remotely interested in, just for the sake of being nice. Women get inundated with emails all day, who has the time to return EVERY email? I mean, just on the logistics alone this should be common sense.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 71 (view)
 
Online World Different From Offline
Posted: 7/26/2015 4:25:41 AM
@Patchjoker: Dude, why are you on here if you hate it so much? If it's just for the forums, okay, understood. But, there are millions of people on here everyday, do you really think no one is having success? I mean, it's just nonsense that people come on here with unrealistic expectations, put little to no effort in, and expect it to net their dream mate. Chances are if you're not doing well here, you wouldn't do much better in real life either. And if you do, what are you doing here? Do what works for you. People shouldn't waste their time on something that isn't working and just making them miserable. This is just a tool to meet people, no one should use it as their ONLY means of meeting others. If that's your outlook, perhaps you're asking too much of this site. The site works if you know how to use it.

Look, even if you're doing all the so called right things on here, what else can you do to increase your chances of getting a date? There's always room for improvement and some either aren't willing to do the work it takes or think they're perfect as is, and everybody should accept as them as is. Sure, we can all accept you as is, but if that's not netting you the desired mate, what do you have to lose by trying? The people that whine about how unfair dating is, aren't the ones that will be successful at it. It's the same concept in life. You don't whine about not getting what you want, you figure a way to get it. People often refuse to be proactive about things, they rather whine and point fingers for their failures. I mean, really, who wants to date a whiner? Do you? Doubtful!

Oh, and this give me a chance both men and women ask for, don't realize that they've turned down people in their life themselves, for whatever reason that suited them. And, you want others to put aside their wants and needs and go after the person that they're not into? Why? You're not doing it. Yeah, you may be more open and have less suiters to chose from, but there are people that at some point in your life, has shown interest in you, and you weren't interested in. People don't want to look at it from a different perspective then their own, but perhaps if they did, they be better at achieving their goals.We all have our preferences, even you, so it's unrealistic to expect people to deviate from them. All the wishing and whining won't change people wanting what they want.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Just curious what people think
Posted: 7/26/2015 2:05:51 AM
I get that you're a fan of guns, and that's a big part of you and where you are from, but take in consideration that you're trying to meet strangers off the internet. And while women may be into them as well, they may want to know who you are first before they see a gun in your hand. You get what I'm saying? Women are already often times nervous to meet someone they don't know off the internet, so by adding a gun in the mix, as an opener, probably isn't a good way to go. Pictures are the biggest factor to getting the types of women you want, so do you really want "scary gun guy" to be your first impression? You should have pictures that are friendly and that show you're a fun guy.

Also, I would reconsider the no shirt missing your face picture. I'm not sure why you edited your face out of that picture? Women will wonder that too, and wonder if that's really you. I get it, you workout ( I workout too) and want that to be appreciated, but those types of pictures often times have the adverse effect that you're going after. Wearing fit clothes in a picture is a much classier way of letting the world know that you work out. Otherwise, you come off as a narcissistic "look at me" douchebag. Don't be that guy.

As for your text, you need more details. Tell them a little about yourself, what you're into and what type of women you're looking for. A paragraph for each should do it. You don't need to give your life story, but give them enough details that they want to learn more. Don't be afraid to let your personality show in your text, also. And always, be POSITIVE, nothing kills a profile more than someone who's negative. And I agree with the others, you can disclose your ankle bracelet and your past addiction in the "getting to know you" phase. I'm guessing you know that could be a deal breaker for a lot of women, so I can understand why you want to see if they're willing to accept that relatively quickly. Just feel it out, and be honest with them in the back and forth emails.

That's my two-cents. Good Luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Profile review ASAP HELP!
Posted: 7/25/2015 3:47:26 PM
Yeah, I bet they do, bro! You're THE man! You get all those ladies, eh lady killer? That's why you're here asking for help, rather than talking to women that love your "schtick".
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Profile review ASAP HELP!
Posted: 7/25/2015 3:27:54 PM
Ha-ha...nah, dude, keep doing what you're doing and enjoy your hand. =)
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Opinions Please
Posted: 7/25/2015 5:55:23 AM
Bingo, whiterose0, hit the nail on the head! That's exactly what it means. If he truly wanted more from you other than sex, he'd make time. Don't pay attention to what someone says, pay attention to what someone does. Their actions tell you all you need to know. And I venture a guess, you already knew all this, because you're here.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 6 (view)
 
Profile review ASAP HELP!
Posted: 7/25/2015 5:23:55 AM
Seriously? C'mon dude, you're kidding, right? You honestly can't figure out why a woman wouldn't respond? Your pictures are pretty terrible. Head shots (with weird angle and face) in the mirror? Yeah, there's nothing like a bathroom selfie that makes a woman weak in the knees, bro! I'm surprised you don't have a pic with a toilet in the background also. That's always a crowd pleaser too.Um, and leave the selfies to the kids, because you're terrible at it. I mean, astonishingly terrible!

As for your text: well, lets just put it this way, even if your text was superb (which it's not, not even remotely close), likely no one is reading it anyway, because of your terrible pictures. I'm sure you think the POF bit is hilarious, but I can guarantee you, it's not going to get you laid. It won't even land you a reply back from a woman, so by all means, keep it. Because, it's quite evident that you rather make yourself laugh than actually appealing to the opposite sex.

Now, I've read that you've been a regular here, is that true? Apparently you have made little to no effort to change on what was suggested, so I'm not sure why you want to continue to waste people's time. It's quite obvious you like to waste yours, given your profile, but others value theirs. Keep that in mind before you make another posting.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Hello ladies
Posted: 7/24/2015 9:40:07 AM
I'm in agreement with Sweet_Danimal! Your friend is giving you bad dating advice. Compliments are nice, but not from random online guys. It creeps them out and is WAY over used as a lame attempt to appeal to the opposite sex. People appreciate genuine compliments, but they are only genuine, when you've taken the time to get to know them.

And as far as people ending convo's early, that's your side of things and that's your perception of the convo, it may not be theirs. If someone stops talking to you, why do you care? Do you really want to chase after someone that clearly needs more incentive to talk to you? You shouldn't. When someone stops chatting, they're either bored and not interested, found something more to their liking, or horrible with communicating. In all of those cases, you shouldn't be upset, you should just move on. Unless, you really want to take a shot with a person that doesn't communicate well online, to a public setting? To me, there's nothing worse than trying to have a dialogue with a person that has poor social skills. And here's one other tidbit, people don't need a reason to stop talking. There's no contract or obligation to which parties have to agree to, here. People talk for as long as they want to, so don't take that personal, just move on to the next fish.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 9 (view)
 
What do women look for in an opening message?
Posted: 7/24/2015 9:03:31 AM
Women can get away with a lot less work on here, because they know they'll likely garnish the attention anyway. That being said, I would just take a shot judging her by her appearance and any of the scraps of information she gave out. If they look like they're the funny, witty, sarcastic type, take a shot at some humor. The ultimate decider in general, whether or not someone will reply is, if they are attracted to you. You could have the best line ever, and it wouldn't matter if they didn't like your initial picture. They may not even read it, if they don't like your picture. But, the reverse can be true, also. You could write, "hi" and if they dig you, then they may respond. It's the nature of online dating, so just have fun with it. My advice is, take a wild stab at it if you're interested, with the knowledge that it could get lost in the sea of their inbox replies.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Does my profile attract the Large and Overweight?
Posted: 7/24/2015 8:21:04 AM
First of all, like others have stated, people are going to want what they want, regardless of what you put in your profile. Yes, you can put out a certain vibe on your profile and who exactly you're looking for, but at the end of the day, people want what they want and will go after it. And to that point, you have to take in consideration, that while YOU want what you want, the person that you're messaging, may not feel the same way. I say that because, you're profile says you're "average", and while this is a bit subjective to some, to others you're just not being upfront about your physical build. And judging by your photos, you look like you're a little above average in the weight department. You have to be honest with yourself here, are you going after women that YOU'RE into, or women that appeal to you and that you have a good chance of appealing to them. Tone, athletic, fit women, almost always want that in a mate. Good genes want to mate with good genes. Just something to think about. I think both men and women on here can get lost in their ideal mate, and don't come down to the reality of this site isn't going to net you the supermodel, if you, yourself, aren't one. That rarely happens out in the real world, and if it does, it's the exception, not the rule.

As far as your profile:

You need more pictures. Remember this a dating profile, so show a good variety of YOU and your physique, not your pets, or house, or car. They can be in the photos with YOU though.

The text is rather bland and to be frank, depressing. Erase the first paragraph. Don't guilt trip people into messaging you. It makes you seem like you have no confidence and confidence is huge in dating. Besides, it's a dating site, they know what to do if they're interested. I would also delete this sentence: "I don't want to put too much on this profile because then there'd be hardly anything left to talk about." That pretty much tells the reader, I don't know what else to say and I'm too lazy to try to figure it out. Not to mention, that if they were to go on a date with you, you'd likely struggle to have a dialogue with them.

If I were you, I'd start from scratch. Have something catchy and draw her in. Something that's witty. Remember, the first few sentences can be seen with your picture, so it's important to have something there to spark an interest. You should at least give three good paragraphs about who you are, what you like doing, and who you are looking for. And don't be afraid to show your personality in a non-sexual, positive way. That will set you apart from many profiles, right there. Most profiles are cookie cutter, bland, blah, blah, blah. So, unless you're explosively good looking, you better have other things to bring them in.

Oh, and one other thing, PROOFREAD your profile! People often over-look the importance of this when creating one, but the readers will notice and it doesn't reflect well on the author.

Well, that's my two-cents. Good Luck!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 176 (view)
 
most people are just average in appearance
Posted: 10/31/2014 1:47:16 PM
Ha-ha... Of course, you missed the entire point. No, let me rephrase, you made my point for me. You have a very low self-esteem. You're so arrogant and into yourself, that you feel the need to prove to a total stranger that you have a girlfriend? Really?

The better approach is to acknowledge that your behavior to some here was uncalled for, but that would take a guy with humility and dignity.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 173 (view)
 
most people are just average in appearance
Posted: 10/31/2014 1:28:55 PM
Overunity - I find it funny that a 60 year-old man is this immature. He has to demean others to feel important. Sad, really.

Now, I know, you'll come back here, and try to be "tough internet guy", and try to dazzle me with your cute little quips, but in the end, you're just an arrogant, ignorant man, that has no self-esteem. Because, if you did, you wouldn't need to feel like you had to make others small to boost your poor ego. So, by all means, do tell us MORE about your younger girlfriend. We're all so impressed. It's odd, a guy this bitter, typically doesn't get laid, so I don't know why you thought that having a girlfriend would impress anyone. LMAO! Besides, this is the internet, where everything is true, right? Even your younger "girlfriend". (ha-ha) =)
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Tell Me What You Think
Posted: 10/31/2014 12:27:16 PM
Metalbrony - I concur with others that the band list is just too long. I love listening to music too, but the key word there is LISTENING, not reading. A few examples would still give me an idea of the genres you're into, and it would be less boring to read.

Now, yes, you will get a small percentage of people that appreciate your list, but it will be small. If you're content with that, then keep it. However, if you're looking to broaden the amount of people that contact you, you'd probably be better off with telling more about yourself than just listing bands. After-all, you want to have more in common with your potential mate than music, don't you?

Just my two-cents.

Good luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 15 (view)
 
help please
Posted: 10/31/2014 12:04:44 PM
fullmoonguy - there is nothing wrong with wanting to see someone's picture prior to being contacted. You may not like physical attraction being the forefront of dating, but that's what most people base their initial attraction on. Not only that, but if they're willing to put themselves out there, then they have right to ask that the person contacting them does the same.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 9 (view)
 
Can you give your opinion on my profile?
Posted: 10/30/2014 7:49:32 PM
LMAO! That's actually hilarious. I was actually trying to help you, dude. What you're asking is against the site's rules. Meaning this thread could get deleted and you'd be be better helped in profile review. It's ironic you're so negative in your profile aimed at trying to get women (which is absolutely killing you) and yet you're so arrogant here. But, keep rolling along, stud! =)
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Can you give your opinion on my profile?
Posted: 10/30/2014 7:38:17 PM
Because it's the site's rules. And in either thread any gender can participate. By the way, why wouldn't you want a guy's perspective? Guys have been chasing women for a long time, and some are successful at it. And have useful advice to offer. Having both genders critiquing your profile gives you a well-rounded perspective. But, hey, if you want to be close-minded about that, you certainly don't have to listen.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 136 (view)
 
most people are just average in appearance
Posted: 10/30/2014 1:53:52 AM
Thank you, Trustinkarma! There are some guys that think grooming is gay or effeminate. Which is ironic, because the guys that take care of themselves, are the ones that usually garner the most attention by women. The guys that don't care about their appearance, are typically the whiners that complain about how women don't pay them enough attention and are completely bitter towards them. As if it's their fault, they don't find them sexually appealing. They don't even consider improving their own appearance, which in turn, would improve their appeal to the opposite sex.

Some people don't quite grasp the concept of a man/woman that is overweight and doesn't care about his/her appearance, shouldn't then EXPECT (hope, sure, but not expect) to get a woman/man that is in shape and cares about her/his appearance. I just find it baffling, that some men and women think they should have a mate that takes care of themselves, even when they don't.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Honest profile review please
Posted: 10/29/2014 6:42:55 PM
Most of your pictures are outdated and they're from what looks to be from a webcam? Another words, get some updated pictures of you with an HD camera. Pictures are going to be the main focus here, so if you want better results, put up great pictures.

It's weird that you have a nickname of "sixpak9000" , but list yourself as average build. Not sure what that's about, unless you thought the name would reel them. If that's the case, you're mistaking.

Your headline, "trying this out", is played OUT! Not to mention, it makes you sound like you're just killing time here with no purpose. Use a witty headline.

Profession: Employed? Remember, this is just giving the basics of you, like an informal resume. And just like a potential employer, a potential mate won't spend much time trying to figure out your vague answers to questions. They will simply move on to someone who's less vague.

Your about me: Wow! Really? What is that? This is where you talk about YOU! Do NOT ramble, and rant there. There are plenty of other sites for that thing. Write three paragraphs. The first- talking about who you are. The second - talk about your interest in some detail. And lastly, write about the woman you'd like to meet. Add some personality to your text. Don't make it a dry, boring read.

Your first date: Again, what are you doing here? It should be a very brief idea what you would like to do with your date upon your first meeting. No ranting or writing a novel. I assure you, no one will read that. I didn't and I'm reviewing your profile. A woman will simply hit the back button.

Other tips: Always be positive. Proof-read your profile. And check out the writing profile tips in green for further information on constructing a great profile.

Good luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 2 (view)
 
ISO female profile review. pls & ty
Posted: 10/29/2014 2:24:10 PM
Don't you have another profile review thread? You need to bump that up. And you can't choose what gender reviews you.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 2 (view)
 
help please
Posted: 10/29/2014 12:41:20 PM
I know you said other than a photo, but why don't you have one? Dating sites are primarily "looks" first, so by not having a picture, you're eliminating 95% or so of people looking at your profile. Which means, you could have the best profile ever written and no one would know. Whatever your reason is for not putting one up; I would reconsider.

That being said, your headline is AWFUL! Really! Who wants to date someone that is so negative? Are you looking for a pity date? What do you think that header accomplishes? All you're doing with that header is turning away guys and showing your insecurities, which is unattractive. Always be confident and positive!

Your text is rather boring and one big cliche. You come off very needy in your profile. A HUGE turn off. You need to re-write it with 3 paragraphs. The first tell your viewer about yourself with some detail. The second, tell us your interest with description. And the third, what you're looking for in a mate. Add some personality and life into your text.

Check out the profile tips in green as well. They're helpful.

Good luck, OP.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
May I get a profile review please.
Posted: 10/28/2014 7:28:38 PM
While you may not care about being PC, you're still hurting yourself with the gun picture. Remember this site is different than your Facebook or other social media you use. Your profile should represent you, but in a way where it tells the viewer, you're friendly and warm. You want women to feel safe to meet a strange guy off the internet, and having weapons on a dating site isn't exactly saying "Mr friendly". Just throwing that out there. Do with it what you will. I would however, get rid of your sleeping photo. Not sure why you'd put that up? No one really looks that flattering sleeping and I doubt women will think it's cute. I would also get some better pictures in the day light of you smiling.

Your headline is negative. Always, and I do mean always be positive. Nothing turns people off then someone who's negative about everything. I doubt you'd want a woman who was that way. Women are no different when looking for a mate.

You're listed as athletic build? I would say you're more on the average build than athletic. Athletic, typically means toned and muscular. No beer gut. Flaunt what you have, but be honest about it too. You're hurting yourself by putting something that doesn't accurately portray you.

As for your text - I would start over and write three descriptive paragraphs. The first one being who you are. The second one being your interest. And the third, who you're looking to meet. If you're looking for more help, there is some profile writing tips in green at the top of this forum. Don't be afraid to add some personality in your profile as well.

Good luck, OP.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Curious what people think
Posted: 10/28/2014 4:47:23 PM
I think you really need to start from scratch. Your whole profile gives off creepy, loner guy, who wears flannels for all occasions and laughs at really immature crude/morose subjects. Do you think women are attracted to any of that? Is that really the image you're going for? You're going about this like you're searching for another DUDE to hangout with. Do you want another guy friend or a woman who takes you seriously? Now, you may appeal to a very select few with your profile as it is, but you've certainly excludes probably about 95% of women contacting you.

The choice is really up to you whether you want to increase your chances on getting women to notice, but you've got to put effort into your profile, your appearance, and your attitude. Only you can do that.

If you want to take a serious crack at this, then checkout the profile tips in green. They are helpful.

Good luck, OP.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 8 (view)
 
how hard is it to find romantic men?
Posted: 10/28/2014 2:58:03 PM
I think Lilimarleen and Innergorilla make some excellent points. Are you a romantic ?And if so, do you show that you are? I think you're just hoping a romantic will fall out of the sky. That's not going to happen. There are plenty of guys out there that are romantic, but if you're not a romantic or don't show that you are one, that side will likely be kept in. Romance is a two-way street.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Need advice on second date
Posted: 10/27/2014 1:10:06 PM
Dude, by her telling you she didn't see it going anywhere, she's basically saying she's not interested in pursuing anything romantic with you. Sometimes people see what they want to see. While you thought the date was great, she might of thought it was fun to hangout, but you weren't the right guy to continue seeing for whatever reason. Men and women alike don't need a reason to discontinue seeing someone if they're not feeling it. It's not a poor reflection on you or the date, it just means she didn't get the same vibes you got from the date.

Now, she agreed to see you again, but I wouldn't go into expecting too much. If I were you; I would just take her out and do something fun that you both enjoy. Maybe, she'll feel differently afterwords, but again, don't get your hopes up or be pushy about making it into something. That's an immediate turn off to everyone. Just take the date as it comes and have fun. Let everything else play itself out.


Good luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 18 (view)
 
how good looking am i?
Posted: 10/26/2014 2:00:32 PM
LMAO! Yes, because everyone here in the forums are looking for a mate. Nope, no one ever gets on this site for the forums. NEVER!

But, hey, good looking out, kid. No need to stress yourself out though; I've already have a woman. Hence, the no picture and only here for forums that is written on my profile.

You just keep rocking that chainsaw, bro! I'm sure it's working brilliantly for ya. =)
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 14 (view)
 
how good looking am i?
Posted: 10/26/2014 1:20:41 PM
Yeah, he's the fool. Of course, it could never be you, right? How can anyone disagree with a stud holding a chainsaw?
I mean, women are just dieing to meet guys off the internet with a picture of them holding a chainsaw. You do realize these women have to be comfortable enough around you, that they will MEET you, right? Does a guy with a chainsaw, really give off the"friendly guy" vibe? No!

LMAO! It's not that we're offended, genius. It's just ridiculous that you need strangers to help your self-esteem. If you're looking to find out whether you're hot, they're sites that rate guys and girls. Go there for your ego boost.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 5 (view)
 
PLEAS TO THE LOVELY LADIES
Posted: 10/26/2014 12:37:12 PM
LOL! Really? You've got rules and things that you don't like about dating and women? That's a shocker!

First - there are no rules. Don't like that? Perhaps then, don't play in the sea of online dating or dating altogether for that matter. Second - I can guarantee you, women have a long list of things they don't like about men and their dating habits too. Ranting about them isn't appealing to the opposite sex no matter what gender it comes from.

In the end, what do you think this accomplishes? Nothing! It's counter-productive. People will follow what they want to. You have no governing authority to dictate YOUR rules, so why post them? Your "plea to women" only makes you seem egotistical, narcissistic and desperate. Women don't have to play by your rules, any more than men have to play by theirs. That's life, to expect otherwise, is just ridiculous.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 9 (view)
 
how good looking am i?
Posted: 10/26/2014 11:23:07 AM
You're a stud, playboy! You're a lady killer. Every woman wants you!

I mean, that's the clear answer you wanted, yes? Is your ego and self-esteem restored now or can we expect more attention seeking post from you in the future?
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Why do girls/women lie when theyt say they DON'T go for looks?
Posted: 10/26/2014 10:48:24 AM
Right - so you think whining about the same thing all around the forums, will do what for you, exactly? Get you that dream girl? I know - you just want someone to hold you close and wipe your tears away as you scold women for their refusal to give you that attention that you deserve, huh? That's what therapy and mommy are for.

However, if you insist upon your little pity party around the forums....

By all means, continue, it's rather hysterical watching a grown man act like a cry baby. =)
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Should I send him a text or leave it alone?
Posted: 10/25/2014 3:14:21 PM
I have to a agree with christ on a crutch with this one. Why is it you want to be friends? A friendship rarely works between two people who've dated. And it only does work if BOTH want to be friends and neither have a hidden agenda for it to be more. Besides, ignoring an effort from someone who was trying to communicate with you, doesn't exactly say you want friendship. What you did by ignoring him was basically tell him that you're only interested in being his "friend" when it's convenient for YOU.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Struggling to Figure out how she feels
Posted: 10/24/2014 6:28:06 PM
It sounds to me, you are more or less the backup up plan/rebound guy. Now, if you're good with that, then carry on, but I would do so with caution. These relationships tend to not work out well in the end. Remember the guy she was seeing left, she did not. Meaning, that her feelings for the guy she picked originally, are likely to still be there.

You say she was busy also, but clearly not too busy to get involved with another guy, so in essence she did choose someone over you. Most people who really dig each other, make time to spend with another, regardless of the obstacles. Everyone gets busy, but she was especially busy because she was still playing the field, no?

As for how to figure how she feels about you; when you're together pay attention more to her body language than anything else. Is she invading your personal space? Does she flirt with you? Sometimes text flirting doesn't necessarily translate into flirting in person. Is she laughing at the things you're saying pretty regularly? Is her eyes focused on you when you're talking?

The timing of asking should be decided according to how you two are clicking with one another. If she's giving you clear signals she's into you and wants more and you do as well, then that's the time. If not, I would accept that you're in the friend-zone with this person and move on.

Personally, I would never be this guy. There's too many women out there. You should never allow yourself to be a backup plan to anyone, but that's just my view.

Good luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 3 (view)
 
she dumped me and mentioned how i wasnt talking to her
Posted: 10/23/2014 6:55:52 PM
First, have to say, breaking up with someone through text, is rather immature and weak.

I don't think you're a bad person for not talking to her about it. People respond differently to these things. And not to mention, every day life that still goes on while you're trying to process it.

It sounds like she's looking for some kind of closure. You know, not to feel so guilty about the break-up. I'm sure it is hard for her too, but to ask that you give her a response to the whole situation, is a bit much. She made a personal decision about the relationship and she ended it. At that point, you certainly don't owe her a response to it all. I say talk to her about, if and when you're ready. And If not, just keep busy and move on.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 29 (view)
 
Why is it harder for some people to stay faithful than others?
Posted: 10/22/2014 6:48:03 PM
OP, the problem with everything you've said is, you're not going to escape what you're feeling. That's a battle that can't be won. Do you really think you're the only one who's ever wanted to explore and date around? People do that all the time and when they get sick of it and realize that they're ready for monogamy again, they go after it. There's nothing immoral about that. It's just growing as a person. Better to have those experiences while you're young. There's nothing noble in staying in a relationship you're not 100% committed to or satisfied in. You can waste years doing that and for what? Life is too short for that.

I would argue, what you're feeling is NOT due to your background. Rather, it's due to your current situation and you're not totally being happy in it. You can say you are, but if other guys turn you on physically and especially mentally, what exactly does your boyfriend do for you? The same? I doubt it. And what does that say if it is the same? Should he really have to compete for your attention? He's the BOYFRIEND! If that were the case, why would these thought seem to constantly be there? Sure, people in relationships see attractive people and glance, and maybe even some light flirting, but they don't think about others beyond that. They don't have thoughts of others bombarding their mind, unless their current situations isn't fulfilling them in some way. I think you want to believe that it's your upbringing to avoid the fact that you're not satisfied with your relationship.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Has anyone had success on here?
Posted: 10/22/2014 1:14:35 PM
Well, it depends on what your definition of success is? Some view success as obtaining dates, friends, activity partners, LTR's, or sexual partners. So, it's all depended upon what one is after. Judging by your profile, your after an LTR?

If that's the case, it's been my experience at least, that it is likely to take a bit longer than a few months to get what you seek, as you will meet a lot of "Mr wrongs", before you find a connection. But, yes, there is success to be had here. It just takes time and continuing to put yourself out there.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Profile review please
Posted: 10/22/2014 11:53:26 AM
Byron -

To be quite frank, it's a horrible profile.

It gives off that, yeah, I don't care vibe. Which is fine, but don't expect anyone to care to talk to you either.

Your pictures are either too far away or when there is a face shot, you look miserable. Why should that matter you ask? Because the perception of your viewer is, he's not fun or is just miserable about life. People tell others to smile for a reason. It's friendly and welcoming and draws people in. Take better pics.

Your text: reads as if you're a teenager. 95% of women in your age bracket is NOT going to be impressed by you living with your dad, having a best friend who's not only your brother, but 14 (half your age) and playing video games. Now, these all may be true, but I certainly wouldn't lead with that and think it's flattering and appealing to those your age. It's not.

What's with the profession? It says open? Meaning, what exactly? Are you currently unemployed? That's going to be a big red flag for women.

OP, start over. Look at the tips in green, on top of this forum. They are helpful to construct a better profile.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Help with profile required
Posted: 10/22/2014 11:09:03 AM
Hey Nick!
Do you realize you've written more here than you're actual profile? I think you're more capable of putting up a better profile than you think. It just seems daunting and uncomfortable, but just like anything in life, you get what you put into something.

Just some basics:
Your pictures aren't bad, but you could probably benefit from adding some fresher pictures of you smiling and having fun.

Now onto your text:
Once a viewer is on you're profile, you want them to stay there and read it in it's entirety, right? Well, if your profile comes off boring and one big cliche, most won't. Think of this as a sales pitch. Now, with that mindset - as your profile currently is, do you think you're selling yourself well? The idea here is to retain the readers interest once she's clicked your profile. I mean, you don't read a book/magazine/article , get a third of the way through, find it to be boring, and then continue to read further, do you? Probably not, you'd just go on to something that does capture your interest. Same thing here.

To get the best results, you're going to have set yourself apart. Another words - engage your reader with humor or wit. Show your personality, put some enthusiasm in there. Entertain them while describing who you are, what you like to do, and who you'd like to meet. A lot of people struggle with that, but that's what will make the difference. Retention of the reader once a profile is clicked is essential. That's just as important, if not more so, than the actual content. You're more likely to pique interest from your overall profile presentation, than you are from the information you're providing.

A couple more tips:
- Makes sure you proofread and correct spelling/grammar errors. Readers do notice and does reflect poorly on someone who doesn't pay attention to that detail.

- Keep it positive! Nothing kills a vibe of a profile more than someone who's self-deprecating and negative about everything (even in humor).

- If you don't like your nickname on here, you can always start from scratch and create a new profile.

Anyhow, that's just my two-cents. Others will give you some specifics that should help you as well.

Good luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Advice Wanted
Posted: 10/22/2014 8:17:32 AM
Just some basics:
I see you have pictures that are private - is that because you're waiting for your profile to be completed before you put yourself out there? If it is, that's fine. If not, you're significantly reducing people looking at your profile by not having pictures posted for them to see. Most women won't look at a profile without a picture. Keep in mind, that dating sites, are primarily going to be about "looks" first.

Now once they're on you're profile, you want them to stay there and read it in it's entirety, right? Well, if your profile comes off boring and one big cliche, most won't. Think of this as a sales pitch. Now, with that mindset - as your profile currently is, do you think you're selling yourself well? The idea here is to retain the readers interest once she's clicked your profile. I mean, you don't read a book/magazine/article , get a third of the way through, find it to be boring, and then continue to read further, do you? Probably not, you'd just go on to something that does capture your interest. Same thing here.

To get the best results, you're going to have set yourself apart. Another words - engage your reader with humor or wit. Show your personality, put some enthusiasm in there. Entertain them while describing who you are, what you like to do, and who you'd like to meet. A lot of people struggle with that, but that's what will make the difference. Retention of the reader once a profile is clicked is essential. That's just as important, if not more so, than the actual content. You're more likely to pique interest from your overall profile presentation, than you are from the information you're providing.

A couple more tips:
- Makes sure you proofread and correct spelling/grammar errors. Readers do notice and does reflect poorly on someone who doesn't pay attention to that detail.

- Keep it positive! Nothing kills a vibe of a profile more than someone who's self-deprecating and negative about everything (even in humor).

Anyhow, that's just my two-cents. Others will give you some specifics that should help you as well.

Good luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 20 (view)
 
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 10/22/2014 7:27:57 AM
Born again virgin? How does that work? Time machine?
I'm pretty sure once that's taken, it's a done deal. Being celibate is one thing, but being in denial that you can somehow regain your virginity is quite another.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Why is it harder for some people to stay faithful than others?
Posted: 10/21/2014 9:46:08 PM
"I've been in this relationship for awhile, we have been through quite a bit together. I might not be ready for a relationship as some of you said; but I am also in full denial about it at the moment if that's the truth. I know I want kids down the line for example and I want to be married. So for me to be single and act out on every single urge I get would be a huge step back in my opinion. I am trying hard to do the exact opposite and not give in to my promiscuity if you will, because again I want to be a better person. If I ruin this relationship and go along with all my urges I would end up being with quite a bit of men, and that is not something I would want for myself."

I get where you're coming from, OP. But, at the same time, you do realize you're not being fair to your current BF, right? I mean, essentially staying with him because you're scared of what you might do if you were single, isn't a reason to be in a relationship (And, I'm not saying you don't care about him). Staying with someone for the wrong reasons, isn't only unhealthy for you, but for him too. By holding onto him, you're preventing him from moving on.

Do you honestly think you can suppress these feelings indefinitely? My guess is, they're only going to intensify. You should re-evaluate your current relationship and examine why you're with him. I'm thinking it's not so much of your past that's igniting this itch, but more you're just not currently satisfied with all aspects of your current relationship and therefore looking elsewhere. Unless of course this has always been an issue in your relationships? Or, is it just this one?
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I don't kiss till the third date
Posted: 10/21/2014 7:38:37 PM
Honestly, 3 dates isn't that long, some women have longer deadlines. Personally, I'm of the mind, if both parties are feeling it, than they should go for it, regardless of when it is. I do think your view is old-fashioned, but I also believe you're entitle to your opinion and can do as you please.

I will say this though, you do make it seem like you're of higher moral character than others that don't put a time frame on a kiss and that's not the case. Your views are just different, doesn't mean they're right, or right for everyone.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Concern: He Doesn't Ask Questions...
Posted: 10/21/2014 4:44:19 PM
I concur with south_city. In my experience, a one-way street approach to communicating with someone usually indicated that they're either not very interested or socially inept and don't get that part of the dating process is getting to know your potential mate and not to just answer questions that are thrown their way. They seem oblivious to the fact that it takes two engaging parties to have an actual dialogue. And, like others said he could very well be a narcissist and loves to hear himself talk. Who knows?

Some have suggested taking this out in the real world and see how he is in person. Now, while I believe nothing is real until you meet also, but someone who isn't that thrilling to talk to on the internet, won't be thrilling to talk to in person, at least from my experience. To me, there's nothing worse than having awkward convo's in a real life setting. You know, where the conversation is bland and isn't flowing because the other party won't engage. There are just some people out there, that expect one party to do all the work of creating a dialogue, simply because they aren't good at it. Well, you get good at it, by practicing it, just like anything else.

Of course, this is in general terms and he very well might be different in real life, but it is unlikely.

Good luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Please review my profile
Posted: 10/21/2014 11:14:02 AM
You need new photos. The ones you have now aren't great. The only one that might be okay is the one on the boat. However, it's not a good lead image - as you're too far away. The current lead photo really isn't all that flattering because you're eyes are closed. I would get some fresh photos up - ones that show your face, body and where you're smiling and have yours eyes open.

The actual content is rather dry and boring. Think of this as a sales pitch. Now, with that mindset - as your profile currently is, do you think you're selling yourself well? The idea here is to retain the readers interest once she's clicked your profile. I mean, you don't read a book/magazine/article , get a third of the way through and find it to be boring, then continue to read further, do you? Most don't and most won't. There's no reason to. There's plenty of profiles with the same verbiage. To get the best results, you're going to have set yourself apart. Another words - engage your reader with humor or wit. Entertain them while describing who you are, what you like to do, and who you'd like to meet. A lot of people struggle with that, but that's what will make the difference. Retention of the reader once a profile is clicked is essential. That's just as important, if not more so, than the actual content. You're more likely to pique interest from your presentation, than you are from the information you're providing.

Anyhow, that's just my two-cents. Others will give you some specifics that should help you as well.
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Does this first bad date constitute her just wanting to be friends?
Posted: 10/20/2014 8:02:05 PM
I'm inclined to agree with Olympian2121 here. It sounds like she concluded there was no chemistry there (at least for her) and just lost interest. And it sounds like your gut is telling you the same, because you're here and posing the question.

Now, trying to recover really depends on you. If you're up for the challenge and really like her, than by all means, go for it. . The suggestions that Eric made were great. However, just be prepared that you may not be able get the second date. If that's the case, just chalk it up to a learning experience and move on.

Good luck, OP!
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 117 (view)
 
most people are just average in appearance
Posted: 10/20/2014 5:15:46 PM
To me this type of thinking is pointless. What is it you're really wanting to know, OP? Life isn't fair? That attractive people are at the top of the food chain? Regardless of whether you're on the internet or in real life, that still applies. It's simple biology. Good genes want to mate with the same. As someone as already stated, being a "good" person has nothing to do with whether or not people will be attracted to you physically. There are countless good people out there that get rejected, and also reject advances from others. This is dating! You're not suppose to like everyone, or be attracted to everyone and the converse is also true. And there's nothing wrong with it. It simply means, you're not compatible.

I see both women and men ( men especially) complain about the opposite sex not giving them a shot. They insist upon blaming others for their shortcomings. Which, is never going to win you anything in life and it certainly won't make you appealing to the opposite sex. They don't even entertain the thought of self'-reflecting and working on themselves to make themselves more attractive to a potential mate. It's not even a thought. It's "I'm perfect and they should like me for what and who I am", all the while whining about how the "good" people don't garner any attention.

Look, you can't change people and what they're attracted to. The only person you can change is YOU. A person can make themselves more appealing. And I'm not suggesting changing the core of who someone is, but there are always things that can be improved upon. Anyone can do this. It just takes the willingness and effort to do so. And it's certainly more productive than wondering why dating is hard. Dating is hard for everyone, even the best looking, why not put your best version of yourself out there?
 HotNSC123
Joined: 10/17/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Just some general pointers.
Posted: 10/20/2014 10:53:57 AM
O0ps, I meant your fourth picture (plaid), not your third should be swapped with the current.
 
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