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 Author Thread: Men -- How we work
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Men -- How we work
Posted: 11/28/2009 6:28:56 AM
"ron1902"

Surprise, surprise we don't really care whether you get it, and heres the really big surprise when we want to talk it's not always to "fix something" we are more about wanting to "talk" to you and it would be really nice if you listened. But of course we also know that more than likely you won't but thats ok because we will just move on to someone who will, or better yet .... just move on. Tell that to your football kids.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
 
The confirmed bachelor/bachelorette
Posted: 11/25/2009 12:38:28 PM
"Georgia"

I totally agree.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Let me pose a question, how much is to much sex?
Posted: 10/17/2009 2:00:38 PM
HUM well I've had this before, thank God it's only been once. He constantly complained that I was always wanting IT! But he also had issues beyond lack of desire, he had trouble getting it up, he didn't perform oral sex and he had multiple females hanging around. I think he had some guilt issues there. Needless to say he had some serious head issues and I'm not talking just on his head. That lasted about 2 months and two sexual encounters. Which was all I needed to walk away from this nut case.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 196 (view)
 
That's WHY It's Called Sex Appeal
Posted: 10/17/2009 8:00:03 AM
I solve the whole problem with always paying my own way.... I owe no one unless I choose to.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 23 (view)
 
How do you get over it all?
Posted: 9/23/2009 2:40:26 PM
Have you ever herd of the "kill them with kindness" well of course it's hard it wouldn't be life if it didn't. You need to remember what he did to you he will do to her. Give it time. As long they know that it erks you they are winning. It's time that you win. Don't EVER let someone know that got the best of you. Act like life is great and be glad she got the loser and you didn't. You are the winner here he or she isn't. They deserve each other. Sooner or later the kids will get that to and won't have anything to do with them Wait and see. Cry in private, kill in private but smile to the public. Believe me it will pay off in the end.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 176 (view)
 
...A Sexual Relationship WITHOUT Emotional Attachments...
Posted: 8/23/2009 6:11:23 PM
I think that anything is controlable if you are strong and mature enough. I've had many relationships that I have been able to control my feelings whether they be sexually or emotional attachment. It all depends on how strong you are. My issues come into play when the other can not control themselves, either getting to emotionally attached or worse screwing around. I wish others were more in control of their feelings. But it's not likely to happen.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 48 (view)
 
If he didn't like it, would you want him to eat it anyway?
Posted: 8/18/2009 5:33:54 PM
I don't cook. Problem solved. Why bother when you can get anything you want on any menu ?????????? In your favorite eating joint???????????
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Cyber cheating
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:08:03 PM
This is wrong on sooooooooo many levels. Dump his ass, and don't look back.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
PLEASE!!!!! Don't block us out!!!!
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:59:20 PM
"THIS IS REALLY IMPORTANT: Guys, I'm not likely to quit my teaching job, quit college, and move across country or cross town. So long distance relationships of any kind aren't going to work for me" (taken from my profile). It would seem this doesn't speak loud enough, because I still get men from out of state and 100 miles from me in Ga. As I've stated I'm a very busy gal and don't want to spend the money (gas) or time running the roads, and I'm even less fond of the airport. I am amazed that you are so flexible as to travel all over the place to meet a total stranger if this works for you thats awesome but don't expect others to be so flexible.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 50 (view)
 
I get too nervous to go on dates so I always cancel
Posted: 8/8/2009 4:12:27 PM
Yea this is very normal in fact I hate to date. I hate the first month or so when your trying to get to know someone. I compare it to the same thing as a new job. You know where you don't know anyone, you don't know what your job duties are and you don't know anything same feeling. My way of getting over this is practice and treat the meeting like you don't care what happens, do it like your going on a job interview. Treat it like you don't care whether he likes you or not and stop putting so much pressure on it being a date and look at it like your meeting a girlfriend for lunch or drinks.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Do women cook anymore??
Posted: 8/8/2009 7:08:09 AM
We don't cook because we refuse to be your slave. Get off your ass and fix your own sandwich. I think your mother would really hate you right now. Besides, why do you think God made restrauants. So I don't have to cook.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 115 (view)
 
The three things that a man wants in a mate...
Posted: 8/5/2009 12:54:55 PM
Ok so move to GA.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 72 (view)
 
Must the goal be 24/7 in a committed relationship?
Posted: 8/2/2009 11:18:43 AM
This attitude in my opinion seems to come with the older age group. Especially if you have either been married a long time and just broke up or have been alone for a long time. Either way you grow to really like your quiet time. I don't want a man living with me, I'm really not looking to get married. I also like the idea that I can show up at his house get intertained and go home when I'm not.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 39 (view)
 
Still on the market?
Posted: 8/2/2009 11:12:35 AM
OP Call it cyncism but I just assume all guys/gals continue to date. Whether they find that special someone or not. Well maybe not all the time. Either way I figure that until the words "I only want us to date each other" or something similar comes out of his or my mouth I assume they are dating other people. But honestly you really never know. I've had it where guys have said they want to date exclusively and then when I do they don't. Honesty here is the best policy for me. But I don't start holding their actions against them until the talk. Usually this doesn't occur until we start sleeping together, after all who wants to be having sex with everyone in town???
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 30 (view)
 
What ar ethe chances of her catching something???
Posted: 7/28/2009 4:02:18 PM
Its against the law (in Ga)to have sex and not notify your party you have HIV. Call the cops!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its my experience if you perform after been warned you deserve what you get. Education is important. GET IT!!!!!!!!!!
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 173 (view)
 
love and weight gain
Posted: 7/27/2009 5:22:29 PM
Nope I wouldn't leave him but he would never get laid again. (at least not by me)Fat is not attractive on anyone for any reason.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
carrying a conversation
Posted: 7/18/2009 7:03:31 AM
OP wow can you really only be 20 years old. Where are guys like you in my area and my age group??

Sorry heres to your question. It's amazing that you are able to communicate and really converse with others. This is fabulous. What makes a good conversationalist is someone who has vast knowledge, experiences, and education. The more you grow and the more you experience the more you are able to relatee to many different topics. These are not the only qualifications to being a good conversationalists. You have got to know what to say, when to say it and how much to say and when to do all of this at the same time you listen. You are right there are very few people in the world who have the capability of doing all of them. This will make finding a compatible companion difficult. I have the very same problem. Heres the thing .... this can be taught, people who really want to be better at communicating can improve it. Now to your last question "is a good converstationalist a deal breaker" the answer is yes. See for me the chemistry, the physical attraction, intimacy comes from the brain, comes from the ability to talk to me, thats whats sexy to me. It's not talking about sex, or anything else. Like I've always said "if you can't get into my head, your not going to get into my pants".

Sherry
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Where are the decent women looking for long term at?
Posted: 7/5/2009 1:57:34 PM
sorry darling I'm in Georgia.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
 
Am I being to harsh? Divorced vs. Separated
Posted: 7/3/2009 10:32:49 AM
OK this reeks of problems. NO ONE wins in a relationship such as these. The fact that he didn't tell you is one issue which speaks for it self. Another is the fact that hes not divorced and only be separated for 5 months. I never date guys who haven't been divorced for at least a year but I prefer 3-5 years. There is so much drama and guys have a bigger problem getting over the drama than women do. They never get over or take a very long time getting over the women who scorned him. Especially if hes to blaime and he won't admit it. I say this is your chance to change the pattern of meeting, dating married men. They are married no matter what they say because the feelings are still there. Get out NOW!!!!!!!!
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
just wondering
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:32:09 PM
HENCE.... no one likes a negative attitude. Try some humor, and for GOD Sake change your profile. Talk about positive connections, (even if you have to make them up, LOL) Otherwise your going to get all the wrong people attracted to you, hence a bad connection. Also get a series of questions or an idea of what you will accept and what you won't and screen them. Get smarter and wiser about the people you talk to. I can screen people through IM and within seconds I can tell if they are wierd, loosers, desparate or simply NOT what I'm looking for. Seek from within and you will get what you are looking for, but you gotta be what someone is looking for by being and becoming that person. Start reading about self improvement books and trust me it won't take long for things to change. Good luck
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
 
Too Busy With Work and Kids To Date....
Posted: 6/29/2009 1:05:40 PM
It's been my experience that this occurs later in life, late 30's and beyond. The more secure in your career and life and if your single your more likely to get your life consumed with life, career, school, and raising kids. I was 19 when I had my kid. Now I'm secure in career, (working on my Masters in Education) but have plenty of time to date and go out, I'm a school teacher so I get the summers off. I planned my life so that I had my kids early so I can do what I want now. But heres whats happening with the guys I'm finding on here (anywhere for that matter) is that there late 40's early 50's and they got kids 4-13 years old. What the hell is that all about. I don't want to date and refuse to date a guy who has kids this age. YES I know this is going to piss off some people here. If that pisses you off the next statement is really going to set you off, "I'm not playing second string to a kid" nor "am I planning my travel or social schedule around someone elses kid." Now before all of you go off. Keep in mind I took off 18 years to raise my kid, get my career, and go to school. NOW its my turn. Yea it's selfish. I am very much aware of the pitfalls and I've accepted them whole heartedly. Of course with my luck what ya wanna bet I meet a guy and fall in love and he has 3 kids all under the age of 17. LOL
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 70 (view)
 
Is trust dead?
Posted: 6/28/2009 5:33:30 AM
"I was burned in my last relationship, but I don't for one moment believe that every woman I meet is just like my ex."

You restore my faith in humanity.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Would you wait till marriage for sex?
Posted: 6/27/2009 3:36:58 PM
NOOOOOO Way. Whats this guys name I think I've dated him to. LOL Just for the record the last 3 guys I dated had ED problems, two of them was the result of medical issues (high blood pressure/prostate) and the other was just freaken crazy. I'm waiting for quality but that doesn't mean I'm quiting on ever getting it. Good luck on your choice.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:57:27 AM
I've been single 25 years and have loved every minute of it. Now of course I've had several long term relationships and 3 of them got to the engagement stage and for various reasons didn't happen. I like the idea I can come home to a quiet house, my house is as it was when I left, I don't have to share my bathroom and my bed. Since I really have bad sleeping habits (I only sleep a couple hours at a time) this is a really big plus. It's been my experience that when I have stopped looking for a relationship, the guys come out of the wood work. The best part about being single is if I don't want to be alone I can go anywhere I want to, see anyone I want. Independence rocks.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
I Can't Win For Looseing
Posted: 6/23/2009 5:05:38 AM
I get some who lie about the little things. But I've grown to expect it. Honestly I've I got a clear cut process and I never waiver (I have found that when I do I usually get disappointed) I contact them through POF or respond through POF, then I provide IM for yahoo and I chat for several days. I can definantly tell within a couple chats on IM or if then we can progress to a phone call, I can tell whether this person is worth taking the time to meet. I have to be honest that less than 1% meet the criteria. But it's not as much about them as it is about me what I'm looking for and what matters to me. Chemistry, experience, knowledge, timing, lack of drama, age, weight (yea sorry this makes a huge difference to me, I have found that I'm not typically physically attracted to someone who is over weight) I think we have to put this system in perspective. Most people (particularly here) do not know what they want and worse wouldn't know what it was if they saw it. I'm pretty sure people just want to be with someone and they are trying anything they can to make it happen. Just food for thought.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 377 (view)
 
How do you feel about interacial dating?
Posted: 6/22/2009 4:02:06 PM
Relationships are hard enough with out complicating it with race, cultural and religious issues. So I don't do it. To much of a hassle.

Would I let my kid date outside of his white race. Yea we have had this conversation and it gets it. If hes willing to take on the hassle than have at.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Request for Feedback
Posted: 6/22/2009 3:42:17 PM
Hum ....it's to long ... and the first sentence doesn't grab me enough to keep me reading.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Ladies 40+, would you review my profile?
Posted: 6/22/2009 3:39:48 PM
Well you asked for it and here it is.

There are two things I see that needs improvement. One... if you have a sense of humor show it. You can turn those negative things into something funny. Another ... is one you can't do anything about... you live out of state. LOL
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 15 (view)
 
Mainly for the guys...cause this is the root of the question girls always seem to be asking
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:27:47 AM
Well now I must be different. I don't and haven't had one of these moments. Of course I avoid all the stuff that complicates or makes a relationship ugly. Living together, spending the night, visiting family, and staying away from the kids, oh yea doing a criminal background check, and a financial check (last is only in the event of marriage). By the time the relationship gets to these things I'm hooked and there really isn't much that can occur that would make me walk away. Cause by this time it's called love, right??? And your question wouldn't apply.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
When is one too compassionate?
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:08:09 AM
In you particular situation as you have discribed it .... it sounds as though she didn't feel the same way that you did. For what ever the reason, whether she had drama, or other issues, timeing, career, another love, ect. When one doesn't respricate the feelings it's because the feelings aren't there. Now thats not about you thats about her. We all know there is a very delicate balance and all the varibles most be in place or we don't have the connection.
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
 
Long Distance Relationships?
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:13:56 AM
This is why my profile says NOOOOOOOO long distance relationships. Unless you plan to move. Which I wouldn't do. Well I think you have your answer......
 19justice78
Joined: 7/23/2008
Msg: 17 (view)
 
SHALL WE TELL THE TRUTH?
Posted: 6/20/2009 10:09:41 AM
Well this is a very touchy subject. It's been my experience that those who want honesty really don't. Now there are all kinds of honesty, from age, to "I had sex with your sister but it didn't mean anything" LOL yea it's an extreme but every one has there own level of what truth they want to know. I've had good and bad experiences on this site from men lying by omission to others who tell me everything about their live which is way to much honesty. I believe in the best policy is I tell the truth about the stuff I think that matters, age, pictures, drama, (or lack of it), weight (of which really makes a big deal to me) drugs and alchohol. The rest just goes with getting to know someone. If a guy is to honest with me (tells me everything about his last girlfriend) well I just move on and feel sorry for next gal. LOL
 
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