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 Author Thread: Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 107 (view)
 
Why Is Internet Dating SO Hard!!
Posted: 5/31/2017 2:36:24 AM
Those who've had success OLD say not to meet in real life as soon as so as not to waste eachother's time building castles in the air and to help determine level of interest.

If they're open to meet fine. It gives an opportunity to determine options if not, then it's decided and one simply moves on.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 52 (view)
 
Taking a bad date to small claim court? He did “win”
Posted: 5/31/2017 2:03:47 AM
https://www.facebook.com/EliteDaily/videos/1538389412879352/
She didn't see this! :)
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 101 (view)
 
Corbyn - time to go ?
Posted: 5/30/2017 8:43:30 AM

My IT job was shipped to India 15 years ago with a few thousand others. They found out that it wasn't possible to do the job remotely

BA is learning the hard way, hopefully others will take heed!
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 117 (view)
 
When do men decide its a relationship
Posted: 5/29/2017 3:20:36 AM
Why one woman didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend and refused to be exclusive until he proposed. http://motto.time.com/4795013/date-multiple-people-at-once/
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 172 (view)
 
Why are so many people disillusioned with relationships?
Posted: 5/29/2017 3:20:03 AM
Why one woman didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend and refused to be exclusive until he proposed. http://motto.time.com/4795013/date-multiple-people-at-once/
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 73 (view)
 
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 5/29/2017 3:14:01 AM
Interesting. Why one woman didn't want to be anyone's girlfriend. http://motto.time.com/4795013/date-multiple-people-at-once/
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 53 (view)
 
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/26/2017 8:51:33 AM
I'm not sure about your "other people think is best" comment GT.
Surely he's being a gentleman not simply a man because that is what he's decided to be.

Suffragettes were women of the first wave who believed in equality in political voting rights. They were aligned with the wave of their time; no??
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 51 (view)
 
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/26/2017 7:53:53 AM
Some really interesting posts here! Nothing like a good debate / exchange of opinions.


But, some men do enjoy acting in gentlemanly ways around women they wish to charm.

I always thought this was a good gauge of level of interest, commitment and strength of character.


The notion of 'Equality' in everything is ridiculous;
We're equal but different. The keeper isn't the striker but they're both member of the team without which the team is unable to play at it's best.


I would behave the same with a hardcore feminist, though that would be the only date.
Apparently we're on the 4th wave of feminism. The first wave (1900-1980) sought equal rights and opportunities economically, politically etc. There's hardly any controversy aligning with 1st to 2nd wave but from the 3rd wave a divergence emerges. I should do a thread on this sometime. :)



What do you mean by "wins"?

Which will you decide to start a relationship with is what my question means.
POF is for singles to "unsingle" themselves so that's the ultimate objective. Match with one worth being with for life :)


The gentleman is the man who when there is a fight near by doesn't engage but instead ensures his lady is safe. The gentleman is the man who opens doors. Not just for their date but for others as well. The Gentleman is the man with manners. It really is that basic and simple.
Absolutely! He's aware of his masculine nature, the strength that comes with it and uses it to create a feeling of awe in others.


Simple things like please and thank you are swiftly becoming phrases of the past... Its sad and it makes people lonely.
Your post is so apt! To the extent that elderly people are no longer preferred on queues or the train in some areas. We've become self obsessed instead of prioritising what's best for our communities and world in general.


"Some", have no idea what they are missing.
Quite a few of us, much older, middle aged, young adult, women, enjoy being charmed.

I'm hard pressed to find a woman who won't be so charmed but I some especially millennials are being influenced to see the extra care, kindness and manners a man will show to a woman especially one in whom he has romantic interests to be unprogressive or an attempt to take away their "rights".


I sincerely can't begin to imagine..............."barking obscenities at each other" / " problem solving things in our own way (sometimes loudly)". Not for a second. Ewwwww Worms!
The bliss of a happy relationship! :) You go girl!!


it is easy to maintain equality and chivalry and femininity and feminism
&
Not everyone separates the two, they CAN co-exist.

I agree with both positions to a certain degree. Ie equality when the position is gender neutral eg the right to vote, the right to an education, to contest for public office, buy property, considered on merits for vacancies etc but bringing it to a dynamic requiring two different sexes just kills it causes a filling to friend zone ie no romance. Thankfully most know this.

However, can one be a feminist if they don't align with the current wave of the era they're living in? What if that era doesn't celebrate femininity? I might need a new thread for this.


Well over 2000++ years ago a whole tribe of folk were given 10 simple rules to follow
This too! :)


Chivalry wins. I'm of an age where that is how I was raised and what I am accustomed to. Brown Eyes mentioned treating each other with respect, but women are not going to pull a man's chair out and men may do that and other things even today's women won't do.
Chivalry is much more than respect. A man can respect another man even though he's not romantically included towards men generally but he's included to be chivalrous towards a man he's attracted to romantically. Where a woman had no romantic interest in a man his chivalrous nature will cause her to rethink his proposition.


When chivalry takes me on a date I do respond well as I prefer southern gentlemen. I don't always wish to be an equal when it comes to romance. Why? I like letting my femininity fly, feeling free to be myself without the current American social constructs of "liberalism". I enjoy the old fashioned notions of dating, and being more conservative in that area.
Absolutely! Feminine and masculine energies definitely have always been pivotal to a successful romance.



Equality IMO is for school, the workplace, the law, etc.
Chivalry is for romantic relationships.
My thoughts too. Maybe an exception is where the romantic relationship is of the same sex. Otherwise the sexes should appreciate and honour the differences, strengths and weaknesses of the other. After all, men can't bear what women go through xx x x xxxx :)


The good old days when women were complete, had love for men, displayed their femininity and were happy, are becoming a thing of the past and both genders are suffering.
Hear! Hear!!
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 115 (view)
 
Update...no date
Posted: 5/24/2017 3:49:11 AM
Understanding eachother's position on commitment, monogamy, continuity and longevity of your relationship before investing intimacy is best.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Equality & Chivalry. Feminism & Femininity. Man & Gentleman
Posted: 5/24/2017 1:59:26 AM
Ladies when Equality and then Chivalry takes you on a date (all things being absolutely equal) who wins?

Guys when you go on a date with Femininity and another date with Feminism (both dates being totally the same) who makes you feel more gentlemanly?

What's the difference between a man and a gentleman?
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 40 (view)
 
Your favourite pie
Posted: 5/24/2017 1:51:32 AM

I love cottage pie. Why is it called cottage pie? Shepherds shepherd lamb, but cottages don't cottage cattle 😕.
Cottage pie is made with beef so yes, cows. :)
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 64 (view)
 
Black girls dating white guys. How common is this?
Posted: 5/16/2017 4:41:11 AM
Really we all should simply be open to love.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 31 (view)
 
Corbyn - time to go?
Posted: 5/16/2017 4:00:46 AM

I am glad that UKIP has lost so many. It shows that people actually do not want bigotry in politics.


Not necessarily. The Conservatives are the ones with the power to carry out what UKIP was formed for so they'll vote conservative.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Your favourite pie
Posted: 5/16/2017 3:56:20 AM
Cottage pie, chicken and mushroom and sweet potato pie for me.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Travelling alone
Posted: 5/16/2017 3:53:33 AM
I just returned 2 days ago from my first solo holiday.
It was getting too difficult synchronising dates with friends so I bolted.
It was simply awesome. I did the Amalfi Coast and a number of others. I'll do it again.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Constructive Feedback?
Posted: 3/16/2017 5:51:55 AM
You're beautiful and I love your sunflower dress!
Remove photo 2 and 3 and use 5 as your main.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 30 (view)
 
What does non-religious mean to you?
Posted: 3/16/2017 5:40:26 AM
Most evangelical and Pentecostal Christians don't refer to their relationship with Christ/God as a religion.
It's faith or spiritual life.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 65 (view)
 
Should you call a guy or let him call you
Posted: 3/16/2017 5:37:02 AM
It depends on the type of relationship one is seeking.

Most long term stable relationships will depend on the man making the initial effort to establish the connection.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
why woman are scared to date good men based on location
Posted: 3/16/2017 5:25:17 AM
What areas in NJ commutable to NY are considered bad?
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 36 (view)
 
It just doesn't matter
Posted: 3/16/2017 5:23:16 AM
A few pictures and a bio with some info if fine for OLD; then get on with living your real life while checking in ever so often.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Why was I blocked?
Posted: 3/15/2017 6:27:15 AM
True.
Might also be she felt it was leading nowhere as there was no talk about meeting within the first few exchanges.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 118 (view)
 
Racism is not sexy
Posted: 3/15/2017 6:23:50 AM
Using caps is seen to convey anger and a raised voice. His use of several exclamation marks emphasises this further.

He might be open to other races but certainly not black women which is fine. Nevertheless his manner of expressing his preference gives a good indication of his character and maturity. These I feel will turn off most grounded women irrespective of race.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Good Places to eat, and good places to take a date
Posted: 3/15/2017 5:41:44 AM
The Best of Luck Candy & Ice Cream Inner Harbour is a good destination for dessert following a short after dinner stroll.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 8 (view)
 
interracial dating issues...got a question
Posted: 3/15/2017 4:47:57 AM
You're likely to have more success in academic circles.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Too Much Information on Profile
Posted: 3/15/2017 3:56:44 AM
Your last photo should be your first in my opinion.

Don't beat yourself about not getting replies. You only need on sincere connection in any case. All the best :)
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 17 (view)
 
Advise on this situation.
Posted: 3/8/2017 5:49:07 AM
Op, you're putting too much in social networking platforms.
She was single and wanted a real life relationship.
Considering the distance between you, you should've visited as soon as possible in order to show your level of real life interest.
Waiting on the chace that you might win a competition must've sent the signal you were not ready to invest in building a relationship.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 27 (view)
 
Simply cannot get a response
Posted: 11/30/2016 7:54:46 AM

wonder if its the same lot that whine on about equality


We are equal but not the same.
3 waves of feminism. The 1st wave started in the mid 1800 and was about political and legal fairness and equality.
The 2nd wave sought proprietary and inheritance rights, economic fairness.
The 3rd wave which started in the early 1990s promoted sexual "freedom" and sameness of gender ( ie lack of femininity).
21st century - 4th wave which is mainly male bashing and promotion of lesbianism.

The human race depends on optimising the strengths of genders and appreciation for their different roles. Feminine gentleness, kindness, sensitivity, ability to risk her life to birth a new born and other things I will not type lol! These traits inspire a man to treat a woman like a lady, hold the door for her etc. This in turn inspires respect and appreciation of his manliness. Most women will tell you they're more attracted to masculine men who are kind than feminine men whether kind or unkind. "Feminism is about equal pay for equal work, owning property, access to education, right to vote and participate in the political process, it’s not about asking men out, proposing to a man, paying for dates, or being a man. Women cannot be men, romantically. A successful coupling is when both parties compliment each other.

Of course, it does not mean you will not find a woman who aligns with your school of thought but don't get frustrated if she ever insists that you drive the exact same amount of miles or keeps a tally demanding you watch tv an equal amount of hours. In short the relationship is spent keeping a tally of who owes the other having overstepped the equality equilibrium.

Aspiration for equality instead of partnership in relationships causes competition and conflict which leads to frustration and premature death of what would otherwise have been a more worthwhile journey.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Typically British
Posted: 11/30/2016 6:01:12 AM
I tend to do the hazard light thank you and I'll be so happy if HGVs were not on the roads at rush hour.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 47 (view)
 
Totally out of left field replies to intro messages
Posted: 11/30/2016 4:49:31 AM
OP, I've had a couple of messages asking if I am open to dating outside my race and another one asking "Do you like white men?" I blocked the later and to the former I replied "Why not?".

I amended my profile yesterday to subtly state that I'm open to dating inter-racially so that I don't get those sort of questions but perhaps it's not necessary and might even raise more questions who knows??

The fact is a lot of black women feel they should only date within their race. It's unfortunate that one will rule out the opportunity to have a loving relationship because of the colour of one's skin but hey, worse things have happened.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 290 (view)
 
Facial hair on men over 45 - make them look older or younger - why?
Posted: 11/30/2016 4:30:07 AM
Well kept facial hair can make a man look distinguished.
Clean shaven usually makes a man look younger but distinguished appeals to me more than youth. Perhaps over 50s will benefit from less facial hair and in turn look more youthful.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 35 (view)
 
Weight loss and feeling hungry all the time
Posted: 11/30/2016 3:53:49 AM
Good job OP.
Wheat, grains, sugar and carbs are a no for anyone trying to loose weight. Dark berries are ok for treats.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 19 (view)
 
What to say if never dated?
Posted: 11/30/2016 3:22:19 AM
First off, please put up photos that show you.

In answer to your question try not to give too much detail about your relationship history in your first two meetings. If a guy in his late 30s has never had a relationship I'll wonder if he has commitment issues. Whatever you do, do not lie.

If you get to arrange a third date and it comes up you could say get on well with women, you've not had any long term serious relationships cos you were busy with other things but at this point you think you're ready for a deeper connection.
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 4 (view)
 
Profile Review Request.
Posted: 11/30/2016 3:08:50 AM
Thanks so much for your input guys, I'll try to add some conversation starters as suggested.

I'm surprised at the photo comment especially as my main photo is a selfie I took in my flat. Lol!

I don't see how "I'm not interested in an online relationship or endless chatting, so this is a good idea." suggests gold digging tendencies but hey ho! it's the world wide web so posts are open to interpretation. I hope it'll at least deter those looking for endless chatting. (Tall order perhaps!)

Thanks for the compliment Ryuoki. Hopefully I won't be on here for much longer... :)
 Damilovely
Joined: 12/23/2014
Msg: 1 (view)
 
Profile Review Request.
Posted: 11/28/2016 7:48:29 AM
Hi everyone,

I'll appreciate if you'll please have a look at my profile and give some feedback about what you think I need to add or remove to get some success on here. Apart from my bio and summary, I'll also like your opinions about my photos. I just found this profile review part of the forum and it's really helpful. I only started using this site a few months ago though I's registered much earlier.

Thank you.
 
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