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 Author Thread: hey ladies chime in, can sexual chemistry develop for you over time?
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 78 (view)
hey ladies chime in, can sexual chemistry develop for you over time?
Posted: 10/3/2011 9:18:01 PM
Hmm, I guess it all depends on the circumstances. If someone is easy on the eyes but you're not sure if there is really a physical attraction... I'd say giving it sometime maybe key. Many things come into the picture for this to happen, like good communication/friendship, trust, etc. If two people get along well and can make each other smile... then I say yes, it could happen over time.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 26 (view)
being hurt alot and self confidence
Posted: 10/3/2011 9:13:02 PM
There are a lot of people that could probably relate to you. It comes down to what you have time to put into making things better for yourself. Knowing you are a good father and only want someone to spend time with. Have faith in yourself and never give up looking. There are people out there with similar pasts or present issues who are also wanting what you want.

Add some girls from this site to your favorites and see where that takes you. Hang in there, time heals. Always be good to yourself and never beat yourself up, it only holds you back from better things that could happen for you.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
she's and alcoholic, dry for 11 years, I'm a social drinker, looking for advice...
Posted: 10/3/2011 9:06:59 PM
She may not actually mind. But she maybe just being polite in hopes that you don't drink too much in a particular evening. Or hoping you eventually just stop drinking for the sake of the relationship. The ball is really in your court. Try talking to her about being totally honest with you about how she feels about being around anyone who drinks.

Communication is always impt. and caring about how the other person feels and knowing what their expectations are is key. Just be yourself and the answer should come to you.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 37 (view)
Lets Just Be Friends
Posted: 10/3/2011 9:00:16 PM
It sounds like she just wants to have a friend that she can talk to about anything. If you don't find that it's clicking then maybe it's not meant to be.

I wouldn't ditch her as a friend, because you both get along so well. If I were you, I would keep on with the search of finding someone you are more compatible with.

And if sometime down the road she changes her mind, I quite imagine she'll let you know.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 45 (view)
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/3/2011 8:52:04 PM
Yes, it's a turnoff for me. I think most women want a guy who looks after his place... it may be a sign of how he takes care of himself. Independance is something that attracts a lot of ladies. But yet again... it doesn't bother some women. Each to his own when it comes to what they are willing to tolerate on a regular basis or even with a short term one.

Although, some women like to take on the mother role and clean the man's house for them. Oh man, I'll end on that note.

Don't feel bad if it was a turn off for you. Good luck with your searching. :)
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 41 (view)
What Do You Consider Long Distance
Posted: 10/3/2011 8:42:58 PM
I guess it's all up to each individual. Some people don't mind long distance relationships... but they realize at one point or another that if they totally click one may have to move. Some just up a leave both their places and hook up somewhere together that works for the both of them. Though, I rarely see this happen.

I know for me, I don't want to relocate so I keep the distance as close to home as possible... also considering the money I'm willing or not willing to fork out to go on a date. And if I ever feel that I'm willing to move then I'll advance my search. And if by chance some guy who lives far away is willing to travel to see me and we totally click and wants to relocate, I may just take him up on it. But most guys seem to be settled and don't want to relocate either. Just my thoughts.

Hopefully this was of some help.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 28 (view)
What else is there to do.
Posted: 10/3/2011 8:32:24 PM
I know for some it's a matter of time they give themselves before looking again, after a long relationship ends. Anyway, I would suggest posting a pic of yourself and add some girls to your favorites that you think you might click with. Some may initiate first contact. If not, just send them a message just saying, 'hi', to start.

As for being aggressive, maybe work on that. And there's nothing wrong with being honest... just do it in a polite way. Good luck . :)
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
Too picky?
Posted: 10/3/2011 8:25:36 PM
I don't think you are being too picky... just probably waiting for the right guy to make you feel comfortable and to be accepting of you.

Everyone has history that may keep them from making that first initial meeting/date. You have to decide if dating online is really for you.

If anything, make some new friends and see where that takes you. Some people are very picky, men and women. Some just get to that point in their lives when they decide they don't want to meet people like their past ex's... so they become more particular. Nothing wrong with that. Just keep looking and just be yourself.

I know for me that I won't be pretty enough or in shape enough, like you mentioned, for them... but thems the breaks. We all have different outlooks, wants and needs. It's a two way street... so I know not to take it personally. Good luck on your search.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 19 (view)
Joint custody and traveling
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:47:22 AM
I am recently dealing with the same situation. I have full custody and he has joint guardianship with access... I can definitely see your dilemna. I have to get a letter from him as well if I want to take either of my children out of the country.

Is it not possible for a one time letter over a certain amount of time that can be written and notarized... ex. a letter that is good for over a 6 month period or more?

Good luck with getting him to write it. And maybe see what a lawyer suggests about you possibly not needing his permission letter in the future, especially if you may have to travel unexpectedly overseas.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 66 (view)
If kids come first, are you willing to come second?
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:38:59 AM
You know, that saying always bothered me. Of course our kids come first, but when you have to start over with someone knew and the relationship works out well... then things should be able to fall into place where everyone in one's life is important.

Our hearts adjust to change... measuring it up it silly... just make time for everyone in your life and things should make more sense. Quality time should be made for both kids and partners. And equal time all together is always impt.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
Only child... guilt?
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:32:54 AM
You shouldn't feel guilty. We can't plan everything perfectly. If your son talks about wanting a sibling, I can understand how you feel. If he doesn't talk about it, maybe it doesn't bother him to be an only child.

I had my girls 8+ yrs apart. I didn't have my youngest with the thought of giving my first born a sibling. It didn't really bother her to be an only child. I actually had another child because I felt very maternal and wanted to have another child in my life. I love them more than anything and I don't feel bad that they are so far apart. Look at it this way, if you really want another child... they will have the chance to share some of their growing up years together which will hopefully give them a good chance of being friends as adults.

My oldest is now 18 and has recently moved out, but my 9 yr old is happy to have someone to look up to and visit with a shine in her eye.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
OK- this was just RUDE, and *gasp* I'm offended!!!!!
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:19:29 AM
Umm, yah... that was rude of her. Sounds immature to me and very outspoken. She could have said it like that for many reasons. But it's obvious she is looking to date single guys with no kids. Don't take it personally... there's plenty of fish, some just haven't swam upstream yet. Good luck.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 57 (view)
Am I shallow???
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:16:14 AM
No one can help how they feel regarding dating. You seem to know what kind of relationship you want.... it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks you should feel.

Honesty is good to a point. With time some people change if they don't see their love lives going anywhere. But I believe to each his own. Good luck.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 24 (view)
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:10:26 AM
Well, it seems like your ex boyfriend got scared. And seems to like a lot of attention. Not sure what to say except I feel for you. Be strong and remember that life is what you make it... have faith that things will work out for you and your children. And maybe one day soon you will realize if your ex is worth fighting for or getting over. Be sure to keep in touch with any close friends or family you have... that helps to clear the dust so you can eventually see what you need to do with your future plans. Good luck.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 64 (view)
what do you do if your child is getting bullied and the school wont help
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:05:21 AM
This head teacher doesn't sound to caring.
Never sweep bullying under the carpet... she's your child and has a right to be safe on the school grounds.
If the school has a counsellor... make an appt. for you and your daughter. If not, go to the principal and voice your concerns about the boy. Good luck.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
help for teenagers
Posted: 8/19/2008 5:00:42 AM
I posted something that may help answer your question on your post regarding freedom for teens. Good luck.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
How much freedom for teenagers?
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:58:41 AM
My daughter had some freedom, but also some chores and a curfew of 11:30 pm on weekends and was only allowed to go out a couple nights during school week, in by 9:30pm. But basically it comes down to homework, chores, family time and when seems appropriate for the whole household. You don't want teens leaving or coming in all hours of the night and never telling you where they're going/or have been.

A phone call and a curfew are two impt. things to have while teens live at home if the parent(s) want to stay sane. It's good to know where they are if you need to reach them for impt. situations that may arise. It helps them to learn to show concern, curtousy and some respect towards others time and feelings.

As a parent I always feel the need to show loving discipline towards my children in hopes that they will grow up and be decent individuals.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
ex's new girlfriend a danger to my child........ what can i do?
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:44:31 AM
I would confront the ex and tell him that you are willing to communicate with both he and the gf on a friendly or calm level. As a mom you have the right to voice your concerns regarding your kid(s). In time, the gf may realize some of the dangers to avoid... but it doesn't hurt to talk to your ex and hopefully her about them. Be sure they know you only have your child(ren) best interest in mind. Good luck.
 fuzzy bunny
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 138 (view)
Do women date single dad's who live with there kids
Posted: 8/19/2008 4:38:52 AM
Yes... they do. Me, I haven't dated yet... but hell, I check out guys profiles
whether they're a single parent or not. I mean, I can't ask for more than
what I can offer... I'm a single parent. If two people really like each other
they just have to remember that quality time alone is just as important as
spending time with kids.
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