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 Author Thread: AH Pregnancy scare, he won't talk to me. PLS help me save this!
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
AH Pregnancy scare, he won't talk to me. PLS help me save this!
Posted: 5/23/2009 10:47:59 AM
you have your closure, just walk away. are you living with some kind of regret because you lost of a FWB? there are plenty of people out there, trust me. you are 20, go live it up, just dont expect anything out of a FWB, you told him no after all when he brought up a relationship. rejection + pregers to a 19 year old...? um yeah, this had doom written all over it.

just delete his number, the pics you have of him, scrub him off your life and move on.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 9 (view)
 
If you are a smoker.
Posted: 1/2/2009 6:53:50 PM
this may sound bad but personally speaking i would never date a smoker, its one of those non-negotiables for me

and i agree with the person above, you never get it out, its in everything in your house, you couch, your blankets, your walls, your clothes... yeah, its just nasty...
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
What do YOU say when you hear I Love You but you don't feel the same?
Posted: 1/2/2009 3:53:03 PM
i would say thats the point when you need to unload whetever you feel for the other half of that relationship.

something like "im flattered you feel that way, and im totally in to you but i just dont know if im that far along in this yet"

but yeah, i think if you just say nothing or "thank you" that might be the kiss of doom for that one.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 10 (view)
 
Dating on this site
Posted: 12/31/2008 6:32:23 AM
at this point im going to say just wiling away time. i have sent out enough emails and gotten no responses from anyone to the point where i just stopped trying and stopped expecting to here back from anyone.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Still in love with an ex
Posted: 12/2/2008 1:46:03 PM
the texting needs to stop, delete his number if at all possible. delete your pictures of him, throw away the hard copies or put them in to storage.. its gonna be like out of sight out of mind for the first part then the rest will heal itself with time.

you have to get rid of the every day things that remind you of him though, they are just hurting you in the long run
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
would guys have a problem with breast implants?
Posted: 12/2/2008 1:42:54 PM
if hes re-evaluating the relationship then he is an idiot. if it makes her feel better about herself and its not threatening to another person then go for it. furthermore, saline implants really dont pose a health risk anyways, its just salt water for the most part.

let the guy go, i think hes insecure with himself and maybe feels threatened she wants to do something to better herself. ive seen it before when peoples significant others lose a gross amount of weight, it makes the other half insecure about themselves
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 12 (view)
 
Any Way to Make an Appropriate Apology?
Posted: 12/2/2008 1:39:08 PM
i dont think id let is stew either. surprise him if at all possible, invite him out to dinner or something he likes to do, show him you are sorry. sometimes words just arent enough
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 4 (view)
 
He's calling the shots .....!
Posted: 12/2/2008 1:36:55 PM
if he is in the military im going to assume whatever committment he made to them is going to outweigh whatever is going on with you for the near future. i would say you have let this go on long enough already if he isnt at least considering you in he holiday plans and so on.

its always hard to move on but you need to consider what you want in the relationship as opposed to what you can live without
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
I cheated
Posted: 12/2/2008 1:34:32 PM
i have a really good friend who cheated on his gf, so she responded by cheated on him... i have no idea how they worked it out but they are now about to get married... lots of communication is my suggestion. sometimes its out of your hands from here on out whether she can accept you or not.

good luck
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
having a little trouble..
Posted: 10/9/2008 1:52:27 PM
my family has no history of diabetes, i dont consume soda or high sugar items anymore and my dad is an alcoholic so i dont drink really much at all.

for the other points, i have never done drugs, ever, not even weed so im not sure im willing to start.

But no answer the second post, i have had 2 real exes, an no, besides going through maybe a few days here and there or a week i have never had this problem before. And the thing is, before i met this girl i had a short fling with another one that lasted three weeks and i swear i was walking around hard for the whole time with her before it ended, so this really is something new.

A thought did cross my mind though, with my prior sexual partners, we always waited to do it that first time, its never gone this fast for me (3d date as apposed to 2nd month of being together), do you think that it could be a little shock for me to be moving this fast?

all my friends tell me the same as the third poster, i just need to get out of my head but no i cant seem to focus on anything else lol
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 1 (view)
 
having a little trouble..
Posted: 10/9/2008 1:25:04 PM
hello, please forgive all the typing up front, its a bit of a story

recently i met a girl who i am incredibly attracted to, i mean she is beautiful. We hit it off just fine, we have been out with eachother a lot (4 times in 5 days), we have a crazy amount in common so its really the ideal situation for me.

So, with that said, my problem is i cant seem to get sexually stimulated around her... I mean, we make out just fine, when we sit on the couch watching tv, or just a few nights ago i cooked dinner and we had a fun time drinking a bottle of wine together, i mean, i really cant ask for me, but my body just cant seem to want to get it together to go. I really like this girl, im obviously attracted to her, but for some reason i just cant seem to get it together

now, ive talked to my friends and they seem to think its performance anxiety. I havent had sex in going on maybe 9 months, and that was with an ex girlfriend of 5 years. Another friend thinks i stress too much... I mean i could keep going. I really dont think its either of these though.

Now, ive had stints before where i just havent had much of a desire to have sex but in the past that has lasted a few days, maybe a week at most then the drive comes back, but this time it seems to be sticking around, and i dont know what to do to get out of this funk. Just last wednesday i was fine so this is going on about 8 days now where i havent really felt anything, yesterday for example i dont think i was hard all day...

I asked my friend if i should see a doctor about it because now i have been freaking out about having ED or something, he asked if im ok in the mornings, or if it gets up while watching porn, well it works in both of those occasions and if i sit there and try to get it up myself that usually works just fine but really, usually im ready to go whenever, so this is really discerning for me.

ok, so i dont think its the stress because i work out pretty rigorously, usually in the range of a 1-2 mile run daily with a lifting routine, i eat healthy, i take care of myself, and really im a happy person almost all the time. I dont feel depressed and im not any any medications or supplements. Besides meeting her nothing has really happened in my life good or bad, work is fine and normal, family is fine and normal, etc...

I really just dont know what is going on. I did a check on these forums and some people say to take some type of horny goat weed + some type of amino acid at it should get me going but i HATE to medicate, even when i have a fever i dont take anything.

now, lastly i would normally just wait it out but we have already had an uncomfortable moment when she was ready to go and i wasnt... she said she felt embarased because she thought i wasnt attracted to her which is totally not the case and now im more worried than ever that the next time we see eachother she is going to be ready to go again and im just going to be sitting there and its going to wreck what we have.

Im sure im not the only person that has gone through something like this, has anyone gone through something like this and can give me some constructive advice. Also, i know its a funny story, but please try not to laugh too much at the above situation.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
Did something go wrong and should I start losing hope?
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:42:35 PM
Well, she hasn't returned any of my calls (2-3) since that evening

Call her Saturday and was going to invite her out to cheer her up, leave a message, no call back.

Messaged her over IM later that night

hinted she'd call me back on the drive home, but never did.


in the future - call one time, leave a voicemail or a text asking for a call back and wait.

with that said, you did what you did with her sister, why spend time worrying about the impression you left? Do you think even if you left a bad impression apologizing for it will fix things? Really, you are who you are and i assume you dont put up a front for others, so why concern yourself with what others think? Even so this is all absurd anyways because if she is getting rid of you because of what her sister thinks of you after one night then really buddy... you are better off

in fact i think you are better off anyways, she obviously doesnt respect you enough to even give you a call back after repeated attempts at communication through several mediums. Let her go and move on
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 16 (view)
 
Commitment Phobia, Just a break, or completley over???
Posted: 9/22/2008 2:08:27 PM

Does the term emotionally unavailable mean anything to you?
How about contingency plan?


/agree

from what i can tell there i doubt you are anything more to him than an imperfect substitute for an ex-girlfriend he clearly still wants to be with, or at least regrets losing to the point where he has allowed it to dominate his life to some degree.

Some of the earlier posts said give him some space, well space if fine if he needs the space because he is being smothered, but thats clearly not the issue here. The issue is him not wanting to be with you, he wants to be with his ex, or at least he hasnt let her go, in which case its certainly not fair to you for you to wait around for him to get his own house in order. In all honesty the best thing you can do is walk away from this guy...we are all damaged in some way, but whatever happened between him and his ex has obviously done something to him where he just can not let her go and regardless of how much you love him you are never going to get what you want or what you deserve out of that relationship
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 13 (view)
 
girlfriend hacks into boyfriends email account
Posted: 9/22/2008 9:15:49 AM
kudos to her for know how to do such a thing... even if she is a total psycho..
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 22 (view)
 
why do guys lead you on?
Posted: 9/8/2008 2:12:59 PM
how can you not have a cell phone in 08...? they are cheaper than a regular phone, goes everywhere, has call id thrown in and text messaging.... get a prepaid one if your credit is bad

i dont leave messages either, i hate the sound of my voice on tape and i never know what to say. Ill call twice in rapid succession just in case whomever im calling couldnt get to the phone in time, but after that i leave it up to call id to let them know i called, or ill send them a text if its really important but thats about it...
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 122 (view)
 
How do you know if its ok to kiss her?
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:59:33 PM
i went out on a first date with someone i met from here just a few days ago, we stood out in the rain looking in eachothers eyes after our goodnight hug, i really wanted to kiss her but i didnt want to impose or do something she wasnt comfortable with.... so i just asked and i got what i wanted lol

afterwards she kinda chuckled and made a wry comment about me asking, i think it was exactly what she was looking for.

communication is key, just ask...the worst they say is no and you hold off for a second date (if there is one), if not what have you lost anyways?
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 14 (view)
 
Older yet Inexperienced = Loser?
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:48:22 PM
just tell her to dead fish it until she has the hang of things...
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 20 (view)
 
Flake or not?
Posted: 9/8/2008 12:46:53 PM
i dont see why you wouldnt give him another chance. I get chronic migraines which i mostly have under control but every now and then they come on and im useless for about 3-4 hours, then im fine again. Ive had days where ive woken up, eaten, gone for a run, gone to work, come home and then boom, non functional for a few hours, then when i come around its like nothing happened.

maybe you should just take him at his word, headaches happen, they suck, but sometimes you just have to go with the flow
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
When he`s really stressed out.
Posted: 8/25/2008 8:53:21 PM
to be honest for me, when ive had a killer day, i just want to come home to the routine of home life, keep everything how it normally is. Let him know you are there is he needs extra attention, but if you normally cook dinner, or its his night to cook, or something like that, i would go along as business as usual.

I think everyone handles stress in different ways. I know friends that will go take a 30 minute power nap to get it out, others just want to drink it away, and people like myself, just want to ignore it altogether.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 33 (view)
 
What to do if drinking and smoking rules his life?
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:39:04 PM
he needs to be the one to change, not you, and sadly there is little you can do to get him to realize what hes doing to himself. I repair computers for a living and just recently i went to a banquet hall where, of all things, an AA meetings was being held. there was men and women of all ages, (teens, 20, 50's, etc). Poeple can change who they are but they have to want to, for their own reasons, not for you. Unfortunately if he is happy with who he is it may be time for you to move on with your life.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Women proposing to men!
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:33:50 PM
im all for the "old school" way of a man taking all the initiative but seriously, a woman in charge...very sexy...
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 76 (view)
 
How bad is it to show up at the door unannounced?
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:25:15 PM
id at least send a text message before hand, showing up invited... eh, i like the supirse but if i committed myself to something else it could bt a put of havcing to drop my prior obligations to accomodate you. Dont get me wrong, in a committed relationship i think its wonderful, but if you are just starting out with the guy, you might want to message ahead
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 32 (view)
 
Guys Help Me Understand The I Just Want to be Friends, But...
Posted: 8/24/2008 8:23:06 PM
its clear he just wants whatever your relationship is to be one sided towards all of his needs. id move away from that man asap
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 21 (view)
 
Am I being played?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:16:13 PM
so you are chatting with several men and are worried about getting played? LOL

by definition you are playing every one of those "several" men.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
here guys help me! i accidently put it in the wrong category i ment to put it here.
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:10:55 PM

i want to convince/persuade him that its the best thing for him.


you are his **** buddy, not his wife, you have no business telling him what to do with his junk. if he does this you remove his ability to have children in the future. Why dont you get a tubaligation? for one its far more effective than a visectomy and it doesnt involve persuading him to do anything.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 2 (view)
 
Have you ever been scared of ...
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:06:28 PM
Q) Have you ever been scared of getting involved with a girl because you were afraid of getting hurt?

A) every man is afraid of getting hurt unless they are a sociopath, regardless of what they tell you.

Q)Did you explain your fears to her?

A) normally men wont do this, myself included. There is something about bringing baggage to a situation. to be honest bringing as little baggage to a relationship is best, especially with your own insecurities. Most of the time men just put themselves out there for you, so i hope you realize how much effort it takes when a man makes contact with you 74% of the time, its quite a scary thing.

Q) What did you do initially when you felt that way?

A) different for every man, i just suck it up, send the email and wait..

Q) Did you go ahead with the relationship or avoid her in the end?

A) dont know, still waiting for replied
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
ok if u were into a girl wouldnt you??
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:01:27 PM
i did this same thing 3 day ago to a girl and i havent heard anything, maybe you and i have similar problem haha.

sometimes men can be really shy thus hesitant to contact you until he feels really comfortable. What i would do, through email send him an invitation to meet someplace public, after that i bet you he will call and speak with you online. there is something about that online to real life barrier that can be hard to break and cell phones / instant messages are still somewhat private, a more public place may make him feel more comfortable with himself
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 11 (view)
 
ok, is there any hope to get him back?
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:56:11 PM
you need to distance yourself from this man immediately. He just wants to hit it and quit it as far as i can tell with no emotional attachment, which is sad. you cant help your how you feel about him but you can help how often you see or communicate with him. Stop sending him messages, go out with friends, find someone to hang out with, do anything besides sit around and wait for him to come around

you need to realize how good of a person you are, once you do that you will realize you deserve something better.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 3 (view)
 
Series of questions
Posted: 8/23/2008 12:43:07 PM

A woman who eats (food) and it ends up all over her face


if its by accident i think its funny, and kinda cute. the rest.. no thanks
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 7 (view)
 
Was I in the wrong, or was he? Your view?
Posted: 8/23/2008 12:32:49 PM
walk away. His house is no where near in order enough for him to take on another relationship with anyone, divorced or not. His seperated wife is clearly unstable and is still a large part of his life, and will always be. Obviously he still trusts her more than you if he was willing to take the word of whatever his wife said about you at face value, without even contacting you for confirmation no less.

also, you need to start concerning yourself with your personal safety. She is already crazy enough to find your number and call you out of the blue to tell you off. Not being fullfilled by that (and obviously insane to some degree) she goes on the internet and slanders you there. Who knows what she is liable to do in the future but if i were in your shoes i would take him dropping you as a sign from god to walk away before things get worse for you.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 275 (view)
 
Just eat me already!
Posted: 8/23/2008 7:14:29 AM
maybe you just need to be extremely direct? put in an adult video, fast forward to a scene where thats happening and say "i want that now please"

at that point it would be unfathomable to me he wouldnt make it happen
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 8 (view)
 
do I have baggage?
Posted: 8/23/2008 6:59:41 AM
i know seeing a psychiatrist has some terrible stigma on it but thats simply not the case. I think youve hit a point where you 'want' to be over her but you arent. All that rage thats built up inside of you that you said you get when you think about her... if you were truely over her you would just wish her well and hopes she finds her way when she pops in your head.

I think the dream thing is also something else, normally you dream of something when you have been thinking about it for a prolonged period of time.

Have you tried speaking to your friends or family members about all this? I know it can be embarrasing but it really sounds like you need to speak with someone and just get it all out. It sounds like you havent properly healed from the way your last relationship ended and until you correct that i think your next relationship will be doomed.
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 327 (view)
 
Firearms and Dating
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:29:27 PM
do you mean to say that you would take a loaded hand gun on a first date and you are concerned about the repercusions? To be honest i wouldnt, and as a gun owner myself i wont... but I assume that by the time you got to the date you would have already told her about your life style or she should know that you are concerned for your personal safety. If she is comfortable with it go for it.

Im know im a lot younger than many people on these forums but ive always found that being up front and honest is going to get you more places than subterfuge and being someone your not
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 68 (view)
 
Breast Reduction?
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:23:53 PM
big breasts run in my family and both of my sisters, one 29 and one 23 have already had breast reductions. neither one of them regrets it for even a minute. do what you need to to ensure your health
 bbauman
Joined: 8/19/2008
Msg: 200 (view)
 
Red heads...
Posted: 8/22/2008 10:15:53 PM
i have a friend who considers true red heads to be like a unicorn, since you cant ever actually find one. I think its become more of a taboo thing now, so rare that you desire it
 
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